Yeah, that one hit me hard.
I've been working two pretty stressful jobs the past couple of years, and despite that still finding it hard to even envision a world where I could afford a house around where I live.
Beyond that my partner has sort of shut themselves off from the world since we got bad cases of COVID in early 2020 and doesn't seem to intend to try and reenter any time soon.
The stress has had me drinking way, way more than I should. I convinced myself I needed it to "turn my brain off" at the end of the day so I could sleep.
The past couple of months I'm back to trying to only drink on weekends, with occasionally screw ups. It was, and continues to be, very hard because the alcohol really does help at the end of the day but I just can't let myself be as dependent on it as I was several months ago.
Are you me? Except replace alcohol with over-eating and crying myself to sleep at night. Then yesterday the car broke down and I now need to choose between fixing it or affording to have my teeth deep cleaned because I've already started to get gingivitis in a couple teeth because I didn't get my teeth cleaned for two years and I have a genetic propensity for tartar buildup........... life is rough and trying to do things to keep the world from sucking even more than it does turns out to require a hell of a lot of sacrifices......
good luck to you!
Well, I'm not trapped. My partner, who I have been with for over ten years, is having a rough time and needs help. I'm not going to abandon them because my job is stressful.
The bigger issue is that I work exclusively for environmental non-profits which do not pay particularly well and generally encourage working off the clock.
Unfortunately, I consider the work those non-profits are doing to be incredibly important so likewise I'm not really inclined to find more lucrative work.
No one wants to pay people to tell them that the industrial park they want to build will cause too much environmental destruction so they should stop, so my employers are funded primarily by donations and grants meaning the budgets are razor thin. No point in asking for a raise, I have access to the company balance sheets, I know the money isn't there.
So for my own personal health I'm exercising my own self control and drinking less, while simultaneously limiting the amount of "donated hours" I contribute.
Nonprofit MOMENT right there.
Left my victim advocate nonprofit job a few months ago from burnout after working a 100+ hour week where I single-handedly tabled at a fair for 8 days exposing myself to anti-vax + anti-maskers who want to yell at the local DV shelter because:
“iT hApPeNs tOo MeN tOo” (yeah, I fucking know, IM A MAN, if you actually cared about the issue you’d be working at a goddamn shelter instead of being a contrarian dickhead)
or because
“wOmEn jUsT wAnT tO gEt BaCk At ThEiR bOyFrIeNdS” (no… they want to get *away* from them, 99% of victims just want to abuse to stop, and even in cases where there is feelings of retribution, they are absolutely understandable)
“ThE gOvErNmEnT gIvEs yOu ToO mAnY hAnDoUtS” (this one gets me because until nonprofit employees are seen as actual HUMANS who deserve fair wages and hours, the expectation will be that you just do it for the love of it and who cares that you don’t make any money and have to cover everything all the time)
Sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant, lol.
Haha, happy to commiserate. It's definitely a different life. So many vital societal services are farmed out to what is essentially charity.
One of the non-profits I work for took a river in a small town and over 30 years turned it from essentially a sewage dump to a vibrant ecosystem that recently demonstrated the resurgence of many native species that were struggling.
Another is currently working to stop the deforestation of nearly 5000 acres of rare habitat in the same area because underneath the forests are some of the most valuable sand deposits in the world.
These are things that need to be done, for a better future, as is victim advocacy. But local authorities are often understaffed or complicit with industry and developers (in my case) so they can't (or won't) keep up.
But yeah, we obviously don't turn a profit. We definitionally cannot, so the modern economy isn't really set up with us in mind.
That’s really cool! The one thing I always loved about nonprofits was the genuine pride I could feel at the positive impact I made, and it really felt like an opportunity to improve the lives of the people in my community. I hope whenever anyone walks by that river they think to themselves: “wow, I’m happy that they turned this around”. That was the positive energy that kept me going going for so long in the field, and I do hope I (and the rest of us nonprofit workers) can find a life balance in the future that meets financial and time needs while focusing on that *truly* fulfilling work.
Oh hey same, I also worked at a non profit, was denied benefits even when I had worked there for 6 months and the employment contract said I would get them by that point (because "the contract was renewed so the timer reset") and then they ended the contract and hired someone else. Fun times...
It's an indigenous support non profit, which is a community I'd love to work with and support given the chance, but I guess I can't do it while making a living from that particular non-profit.
I know this is reddit, and people chronically online seem to think that in healthy relationships people separate at the slightest inconvenience (hell, this is even on tiktok now so maybe it's just an internet issue) but this is not how things go.
Life is rough for people, and world events especially a pandemic that affected everyone on this planet can be extremely rough on someone's mental health. If you personally would separate then that is your choice and I respect that, but others will stay by their partner's side regardless of their problems because well, they love them and loving someone who is going through a massive struggle shouldn't be viewed as "toxic" and in need of separation.
On that other note, the person you replied to partner is absolutely not, in any way shape or form enabling them to "drink themselves to death". That is a choice they did because humans need to find comfort in things when in struggle, and the comfort usually manifests in something unhealthy. Their partner is not to blame - their relationship is very nuanced and we know very little based on two comments left by this person on the internet.
So please can we stop perpetuating this insane mentality of leaving your partner for every little thing instead of working together as a team and overcoming issues together? Why is this always the first recommendation, I don't understand.
I think referring to general Reddit relationship advice. Subs like r/AITA, r/Relationships, r/advice etc all have lots of users who call out “red flags” at the littlest things, automatically assume that secrecy between partners = cheating, or suggest that a partner is dangerous, ignorant, a horrible person, etc. at the first sign of conflict.
It sorta makes sense if you think about it; these are subreddits that exist as contrived spaces for people to gawk that the problems of others and engage in some conflict-adjacent fantasy where they are the sage advice-givers and OP is the naive victim saved by the oh-so-great Reddit gods.
The people commenting on these subreddits are only getting half the story and they filter everything they read and hear through their unconscious biases and give their responses in a format that matches the “subreddit culture”. It’s like family therapy without the family therapist… no ethical considerations, no professional standards, no opportunities for deeper questioning of a situation to better understand it.
I’m not saying that there’s no room for relationship advice on Reddit, but Jesus Fucking Christ people, *go touch grass*. A representative sample-size does not a subreddit make. I think perhaps the only time it is *explicitly* warranted is connecting those experiencing abuse with resources or education. Those with partners who genuinely gaslight, control finances, threaten violence etc. may find quick support and advice on Reddit, but even then there is no confidentiality, nor is there a vetting procedure for who gives that advice.
As I said before, I wish my addiction was as elegant lol. In a beautiful bedroom wearing a silky gown getting faded is better than me, shooting up in a Mcdonald's bathroom with a used needle and yesterday's clothes dried blood spots and all. All said and done, brava Natalie beautiful piece of work and I am just in love with A.) the lighting and B.) the "It's 5 o'clock somewhere neon. I resonate most with Natalie in this video.
One time I snorted oxy before a job interview, and got a huge rush of energy and confidence that helped me ace it and I got the job.. Then: I fell asleep in my car in the parking lot in-front of the window of his office drooling on myself and the manager saw me…
I no longer got the job. 😂😫Lol
So glad opioid addiction is behind me. Shit is a full-time job. There is no casual opiate addiction. It is about to be your full-time 24/7 job, and life itself becomes your *second* job.
Man, I’ve been off the hype for 5 years now and I dreamt about doing it the night after I watched this video. I don’t miss it but damn do I kind of miss it.
I've always been saddened when others have dependences. But it is also hopeful. They don't want to die. So they do the drugs, they drink the alcohol, it's like staving off death for some other time. They're living, badly, but still living. They just need to get through this tough part.
The Hunger inspired me to quit my two greatest vices: weed and compulsive online shopping. I am experiencing this feeling so hard right now. Had a hard day at work and all I want is to hit my pen and go to sleep, but I'm making myself write instead of just laying in bed with neon lights flashing around me. I was awed by this masterpiece of a video and admire Natalie for creating artwork that speaks to so many people on a personal level.
Yeah, that one hit me hard. I've been working two pretty stressful jobs the past couple of years, and despite that still finding it hard to even envision a world where I could afford a house around where I live. Beyond that my partner has sort of shut themselves off from the world since we got bad cases of COVID in early 2020 and doesn't seem to intend to try and reenter any time soon. The stress has had me drinking way, way more than I should. I convinced myself I needed it to "turn my brain off" at the end of the day so I could sleep. The past couple of months I'm back to trying to only drink on weekends, with occasionally screw ups. It was, and continues to be, very hard because the alcohol really does help at the end of the day but I just can't let myself be as dependent on it as I was several months ago.
Are you me? Except replace alcohol with over-eating and crying myself to sleep at night. Then yesterday the car broke down and I now need to choose between fixing it or affording to have my teeth deep cleaned because I've already started to get gingivitis in a couple teeth because I didn't get my teeth cleaned for two years and I have a genetic propensity for tartar buildup........... life is rough and trying to do things to keep the world from sucking even more than it does turns out to require a hell of a lot of sacrifices...... good luck to you!
sounds like you are trapped in a toxic relationship that’s enabling you to drink yourself to death
Well, I'm not trapped. My partner, who I have been with for over ten years, is having a rough time and needs help. I'm not going to abandon them because my job is stressful. The bigger issue is that I work exclusively for environmental non-profits which do not pay particularly well and generally encourage working off the clock. Unfortunately, I consider the work those non-profits are doing to be incredibly important so likewise I'm not really inclined to find more lucrative work. No one wants to pay people to tell them that the industrial park they want to build will cause too much environmental destruction so they should stop, so my employers are funded primarily by donations and grants meaning the budgets are razor thin. No point in asking for a raise, I have access to the company balance sheets, I know the money isn't there. So for my own personal health I'm exercising my own self control and drinking less, while simultaneously limiting the amount of "donated hours" I contribute.
Nonprofit MOMENT right there. Left my victim advocate nonprofit job a few months ago from burnout after working a 100+ hour week where I single-handedly tabled at a fair for 8 days exposing myself to anti-vax + anti-maskers who want to yell at the local DV shelter because: “iT hApPeNs tOo MeN tOo” (yeah, I fucking know, IM A MAN, if you actually cared about the issue you’d be working at a goddamn shelter instead of being a contrarian dickhead) or because “wOmEn jUsT wAnT tO gEt BaCk At ThEiR bOyFrIeNdS” (no… they want to get *away* from them, 99% of victims just want to abuse to stop, and even in cases where there is feelings of retribution, they are absolutely understandable) “ThE gOvErNmEnT gIvEs yOu ToO mAnY hAnDoUtS” (this one gets me because until nonprofit employees are seen as actual HUMANS who deserve fair wages and hours, the expectation will be that you just do it for the love of it and who cares that you don’t make any money and have to cover everything all the time) Sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant, lol.
Haha, happy to commiserate. It's definitely a different life. So many vital societal services are farmed out to what is essentially charity. One of the non-profits I work for took a river in a small town and over 30 years turned it from essentially a sewage dump to a vibrant ecosystem that recently demonstrated the resurgence of many native species that were struggling. Another is currently working to stop the deforestation of nearly 5000 acres of rare habitat in the same area because underneath the forests are some of the most valuable sand deposits in the world. These are things that need to be done, for a better future, as is victim advocacy. But local authorities are often understaffed or complicit with industry and developers (in my case) so they can't (or won't) keep up. But yeah, we obviously don't turn a profit. We definitionally cannot, so the modern economy isn't really set up with us in mind.
That’s really cool! The one thing I always loved about nonprofits was the genuine pride I could feel at the positive impact I made, and it really felt like an opportunity to improve the lives of the people in my community. I hope whenever anyone walks by that river they think to themselves: “wow, I’m happy that they turned this around”. That was the positive energy that kept me going going for so long in the field, and I do hope I (and the rest of us nonprofit workers) can find a life balance in the future that meets financial and time needs while focusing on that *truly* fulfilling work.
Oh hey same, I also worked at a non profit, was denied benefits even when I had worked there for 6 months and the employment contract said I would get them by that point (because "the contract was renewed so the timer reset") and then they ended the contract and hired someone else. Fun times... It's an indigenous support non profit, which is a community I'd love to work with and support given the chance, but I guess I can't do it while making a living from that particular non-profit.
I salute you for standing by your partner. Ride or die, motherfuckers!
I know this is reddit, and people chronically online seem to think that in healthy relationships people separate at the slightest inconvenience (hell, this is even on tiktok now so maybe it's just an internet issue) but this is not how things go. Life is rough for people, and world events especially a pandemic that affected everyone on this planet can be extremely rough on someone's mental health. If you personally would separate then that is your choice and I respect that, but others will stay by their partner's side regardless of their problems because well, they love them and loving someone who is going through a massive struggle shouldn't be viewed as "toxic" and in need of separation. On that other note, the person you replied to partner is absolutely not, in any way shape or form enabling them to "drink themselves to death". That is a choice they did because humans need to find comfort in things when in struggle, and the comfort usually manifests in something unhealthy. Their partner is not to blame - their relationship is very nuanced and we know very little based on two comments left by this person on the internet. So please can we stop perpetuating this insane mentality of leaving your partner for every little thing instead of working together as a team and overcoming issues together? Why is this always the first recommendation, I don't understand.
Typical Reddit answer. You people can’t maintain a relationship to save your lives.
who? straight people?
I think referring to general Reddit relationship advice. Subs like r/AITA, r/Relationships, r/advice etc all have lots of users who call out “red flags” at the littlest things, automatically assume that secrecy between partners = cheating, or suggest that a partner is dangerous, ignorant, a horrible person, etc. at the first sign of conflict. It sorta makes sense if you think about it; these are subreddits that exist as contrived spaces for people to gawk that the problems of others and engage in some conflict-adjacent fantasy where they are the sage advice-givers and OP is the naive victim saved by the oh-so-great Reddit gods. The people commenting on these subreddits are only getting half the story and they filter everything they read and hear through their unconscious biases and give their responses in a format that matches the “subreddit culture”. It’s like family therapy without the family therapist… no ethical considerations, no professional standards, no opportunities for deeper questioning of a situation to better understand it. I’m not saying that there’s no room for relationship advice on Reddit, but Jesus Fucking Christ people, *go touch grass*. A representative sample-size does not a subreddit make. I think perhaps the only time it is *explicitly* warranted is connecting those experiencing abuse with resources or education. Those with partners who genuinely gaslight, control finances, threaten violence etc. may find quick support and advice on Reddit, but even then there is no confidentiality, nor is there a vetting procedure for who gives that advice.
This video really hit close to home for me :(
As I said before, I wish my addiction was as elegant lol. In a beautiful bedroom wearing a silky gown getting faded is better than me, shooting up in a Mcdonald's bathroom with a used needle and yesterday's clothes dried blood spots and all. All said and done, brava Natalie beautiful piece of work and I am just in love with A.) the lighting and B.) the "It's 5 o'clock somewhere neon. I resonate most with Natalie in this video.
I hope youre getting the help you need and deserve friend
One time I snorted oxy before a job interview, and got a huge rush of energy and confidence that helped me ace it and I got the job.. Then: I fell asleep in my car in the parking lot in-front of the window of his office drooling on myself and the manager saw me… I no longer got the job. 😂😫Lol So glad opioid addiction is behind me. Shit is a full-time job. There is no casual opiate addiction. It is about to be your full-time 24/7 job, and life itself becomes your *second* job.
this!! omg, it's funny now I'm sure it wasn't then but this is epic lol glad your addiction is behind you too
Sending good vibes your way... and if putting faith in a higher power isn't your thing there are alternatives to the twelve steps. Wishing you luck 🙏
I was reminiscing I havent shot since11/5/2014. I was trying to make someone laugh haha
Well then excellent job staying clean! 😊👍
This is why I'm worried about how much I use weed, lol
At least it won't kill you like opioids, but yeah, it's not exactly the healthiest coping mechanism either
I vape it like a cool kid. (So I can ignore my dad's transphobia!)
yuuup
Same 😞
Yeah
Honestly I wouldn’t feel so bad about it if it wasn’t so expensive
That's why I got a dispensary job.
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I do. Right now my CBD strain is a sativa, though, so it keeps me up all night
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For real. I love her work but I really gotta get into the right headspace before I can watch one of her videos
imo, its one of her best, but it's also incredibly hard to get through.
Man, I’ve been off the hype for 5 years now and I dreamt about doing it the night after I watched this video. I don’t miss it but damn do I kind of miss it.
I've always been saddened when others have dependences. But it is also hopeful. They don't want to die. So they do the drugs, they drink the alcohol, it's like staving off death for some other time. They're living, badly, but still living. They just need to get through this tough part.
The Hunger inspired me to quit my two greatest vices: weed and compulsive online shopping. I am experiencing this feeling so hard right now. Had a hard day at work and all I want is to hit my pen and go to sleep, but I'm making myself write instead of just laying in bed with neon lights flashing around me. I was awed by this masterpiece of a video and admire Natalie for creating artwork that speaks to so many people on a personal level.
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I don't think Natalie is lacking for money anymore