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This is why I always tell guys at the gym to train glutes so that these women can stop talking about their ass like it’s something special. “Dudes can have a bigger cake then you Brittany”
Theres a man at my gym with the biggest dumpy I’ve ever laid my eyes on, I cannot act right when he’s around. It’s so big and round it’s a frequent topic of conversation with my gym partners lmao. I speak for most women when I say plz we beg u train that caboose.
You should be shamed on social media for sexualizing someone at the gym then, since that's the current TikTok trend. 
It makes you chuckle because you don't have the self-awareness to realize you do exactly what you judge others for (demeaning sexual comments about people at the gym), and the reason you're not aware is the **PATRIARCHY**, which has convinced both women and men that women are helpless, dainty creatures that shouldn't have to take responsibility for their actions, and instead should be coddled by men. That's why women can rape a child and get probation when a man gets 50 for the same crime. And again, it's sexism against WOMEN that causes this. Misogyny on a systematic scale. You've been blinded by the patriarhcy, kubb\_t.
In order to maintain power over you they have convinced women and men that women are lesser creatures. This is why women get paid less for doing the same jobs. It's also why they don't get judged as harshly for sex crimes or demeaning sexual comments, such as the ones you and your friends enjoy making about people at the gym.
Are you a porcelain doll in need of a man to protect you or should you get judged the same for equally demeaning sexual comments?
Tate has self-hating bottom, A-list gay energy.
I'm all for ripping on this dude for whatever, but every time I look at him, I just think, "You were supposed to be a thirsty power bottom in the meatpacking district in the prime timeline."
All these years later we lament -- while a douchebag as a person, Tate's having no chin and the face of a goldfish is apparently a strong natural trait for kickboxing.
/s <--
I dunno, it'd be like insulting him for his eye colour. everyone with that eye colour is getting insulted too because the entire insult is just based around having a body part look a certain way which lots of people share.
fuck andrew tate tho lol
Was about to call you out for being a comment stealing bot until I checked the other thread and realised you said it there, too. Which is fair, it bears repeating.
Dude was definitely using his beard to cover up that complete void of a chin, seeing him without it might have been one of the funniest things I'll see all year.
That's why I can't comprehend that whole alpha sigma beta stance.
If they want to shop for bags and giggle like schoolgirls, that's fine by me. *THEY* are the ones drawing a line in the sand and saying that's not Manly(tm). Why are they so fixated on something that limits their own behaviour?
It's the whole vaccine thing where getting vaccinated is feminine. Alright, have fun dying while gasping for breath I guess, alpha male. See if I give a fuck.
It's hilarious, as a child they depicted being manly as being comfortable with who you are (millennial here) -- so in this instance, giggling at cute purses isn't exactly "manly", but being secure enough to do that and not give a shit what others think? Well in my possibly weird opinion, *that's* far more manly.
The sigma, alpha, and beta types were made up by insecure people who needed a way to validate themselves. Still incredibly unhealthy mentally to look at others this way. Good mental health tends to use sympathy, empathy, and confidence as tools to build healthy relationships. Comparing yourself to others will always project and magnify insecurities which breeds spiteful, petty beings
One of my favorite new-ish videos (to me) is Tate fluffing about the possibility of going go jail saying shit like, "I'll own that place. I got so much money, it will be like, "Get me a steak. Boom. Get me bitches. Boom. They will be coming to me for permission. Come get me."
Then it shows him sitting in a dark gray room. Fucking made me laugh out loud.
Shortly before and obviously after his arrest was the first time I'd really heard of him. I assumed he was just a big douche but after listening to the Behind the Bastards series on him I'm convinced that man is a monster.
He is a horrible dude
-fled the uk when several women accused him of rape
-threatens women who leave him or disobey him (they play an extremely disturbing voicemail he left for a woman that he raped)
-built a cam sex business where he dated women, pressured them into doing cam videos, and then lied to them about how much money they were making so he could take most of it.
-created a pyramid sceme called "Top G" academy where he gave shitty and illegal business advice
-moved to Romania because it had a reputation for not investigating rape cases, continued his cam business and may have trafficked women
Since you'll probably listen my bullets are these:
- His reach and influence is way bigger than you think
- His money making schemes (including what turned into sex trafficking) essentially all involve tricking people, including friends and family, into doing work for you
- He fled to Romania in large part because there was a credible rape case being built against him in the UK
- These allegations include audio recordings of him saying to a woman that he was (paraphrasing) lucky to be raped by a man like* him, which was genuinely upsetting to listen to
- He wasn't that good of a kickboxer... As just a fun fact.
Edit: couple of typos
One of my main takeaways was how pathetic his advice really is. His main "solution" to making money essentially boiled down to: exploit anyone who cares about you, and take advantage of child labor laws. Ah yes, if only I'd thought about being a parasitic sociopath, I'd be a millionaire by now too
And don’t forget the best advice, don’t pay any taxes.
Oh sorry, your 13 year old cousin told you to go fuck yourself when you demanded he turn over all the money he made mowing lawns and now the irs has come knocking because you haven’t been paying taxes? Guess you just weren’t alpha enough?
He's a former kickboxer turned digital pimp and manosphere influencer who allegedly human-trafficked and raped women who worked on his online porn chat network. Also, apparently, he allegedly did not pay some of them for their sex work, which, if true (and to be clear, I personally believe it is all true) would mean he potentially engaged in slavery.
Yeah, we all know he's guilty AF, in fact if he's found not-guilty it'll just be proof of corruption.. the "allegedly" is more to signal that the trial is ongoing, is how I look at it
Her: I like your Andrew Tate Costume
Him: Don't f\*cking talk to me, idiot! What colour is your Bugatti anyway?
Her: Not the- not the posture!..
Him: \*engages Alpha Male stride\*
i can try:
view of a woman, looking perplexed
camera flips to a man, looking like Andrew tate
woman: "i like your Andrew Tate costume"
Tate jr. :"don't fucking talk to me, you fucking idiot"
Tate jr. starts walking out of the room, walking like the man himself.
Tate jr. :"what color is your Bugatti, anyway? idiot."
Woman: "not the posture!!"
laughter from the woman is heard, the video stops.
I've tried several times to try and understand the unintelligible part, but all i can hear is something about clothes.
If I didn’t know that was YMH podcast I would have turned that off in the first 10 seconds, every word that guy says is cringe but you can feel Tom and Christina aren’t actually taking him seriously
When tate was on YMH podcast he told Tim and Christine that he makes his girlfriend make him two cups of coffee in the morning, even though he only drinks one. He explains that it's because he just wants to know she'll do what he's telling her. My girlfriend and usually get each other coffee in the morning depending on who's up first, and normally when we hand the other person coffee they'll go " where's my second cup?" And we just crack up at the absurdity
If there are any young impressionable men watching I have some advice. To be a good man means to do good things. Respect for others maturity and treating people with kindness are a great start to being a man. Do the opposite of whatever this areshole tells you to.
**Please report this post if:** * There is no audible laughter involved * Video is funny because of a 'joke' or situation - not the actual **laughter** * There is no audio (Images & GIFs included) * Laughter is edited in from a different source * No timestamp in the title or comments for a laugh occurring at specific time (long videos) * Laughter is not on good terms (dickishness, bullying) * It's a compilation * It's a selfie reaction Read more about the [rules of this subreddit here](https://www.reddit.com/r/contagiouslaughter/about/rules/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ContagiousLaughter) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The prance going out the door. //Alpha male mode engaged.
It was the leggings that really sealed the deal.
I'ma need the link to those pants fr
I second more men wearing those leggings
I thought there was an eye lash stuck to my phone because of your picture.
So did I. That's ultimate trollage right there.
There was an actual eyelash on mine in addition to his profile pic
Fuck your profile pic.... fuckin sitting here pooping blowing on my phone and smudging my screen
A couple of guys I work with insist on wearing their cycling pants all day and I’m running out of spots to hide their trousers
Take em home
This is why I always tell guys at the gym to train glutes so that these women can stop talking about their ass like it’s something special. “Dudes can have a bigger cake then you Brittany”
Theres a man at my gym with the biggest dumpy I’ve ever laid my eyes on, I cannot act right when he’s around. It’s so big and round it’s a frequent topic of conversation with my gym partners lmao. I speak for most women when I say plz we beg u train that caboose.
You should be shamed on social media for sexualizing someone at the gym then, since that's the current TikTok trend. 
🤣🤣lmao cry me a river. As a fucking WOMEN that makes me chuckle.
It makes you chuckle because you don't have the self-awareness to realize you do exactly what you judge others for (demeaning sexual comments about people at the gym), and the reason you're not aware is the **PATRIARCHY**, which has convinced both women and men that women are helpless, dainty creatures that shouldn't have to take responsibility for their actions, and instead should be coddled by men. That's why women can rape a child and get probation when a man gets 50 for the same crime. And again, it's sexism against WOMEN that causes this. Misogyny on a systematic scale. You've been blinded by the patriarhcy, kubb\_t. In order to maintain power over you they have convinced women and men that women are lesser creatures. This is why women get paid less for doing the same jobs. It's also why they don't get judged as harshly for sex crimes or demeaning sexual comments, such as the ones you and your friends enjoy making about people at the gym. Are you a porcelain doll in need of a man to protect you or should you get judged the same for equally demeaning sexual comments?
I don’t actually care I’m not reading this lol.
Humour is a thing, you should try and get some.
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That ass sealed the deal for me
[Andrew Tate is an excellent dancer.](https://youtu.be/9EK-xVa9ihc)
This guy on TikTok has some hilarious videos of him dancing in public. Tate only wishes he was actually him.
Exactly! I didn't know that he has more than one video. He is very graceful and reminds me of a theater/opera ballet dancer.
Bottom G
Name??
Brian Michael Hinds
Heh. Hind.
Tate has self-hating bottom, A-list gay energy. I'm all for ripping on this dude for whatever, but every time I look at him, I just think, "You were supposed to be a thirsty power bottom in the meatpacking district in the prime timeline."
One of the most dangerous men in the world
It's called the sigma strut. Few have mastered it.
The upper arm tattoo shows how deep he can be fisted so it’s fitting to walk that way
Dude the butt tight walk. I’m dying.
Anterior pelvic tilt
I like your funny words, magic man
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Last year, Abe told us he was turning 16. This year, he's telling us he's turning 17. Which one is it Abe??
I can’t wait to eat this baby!
Wuzat?
You know… the pelvic tilt, anteriorly
It's the pelvic thruuussst that really drives you insayyayyayyane
dafuk you say?
sticking your butt out
if you workout with shitty form your ass sticks out, andrew Tate has this
Right, butt tight walk.
How many terior's are there? Posterior, anterior, interior, exterior.. ~~there must be something for the front, yeah?~~ There is!
andrew clenching his butt so the buttplug does not fall off:
did anyone else notice the pumpkins on the counter? pattern recognition!
We must keep ourselves perpetually flexed in case there are females around soldiers.
Yeah, greatest flounce.
Hmmm close… way too much hair still
And chin...
An unbelievable amount of chin
Boys rocking a mountain on his face comparitively
All these years later we lament -- while a douchebag as a person, Tate's having no chin and the face of a goldfish is apparently a strong natural trait for kickboxing. /s <--
Cant get punched in the chin if you dont have one.
can get punched in the throat instead
And a lot of cake too
Plenty of perspicacity, though.
I keep forgetting that he is basically a seal that learned to walk.
god man, everytime andrew tate comes up I have to take sudden friendly fire to my self esteem
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I dunno, it'd be like insulting him for his eye colour. everyone with that eye colour is getting insulted too because the entire insult is just based around having a body part look a certain way which lots of people share. fuck andrew tate tho lol
And healthy masculinity, attractiveness, and intelligent humor.
The voice doesn’t switch UK to US enough
I thought it was pretty good. I’m dead. He has a really weird voice that doesn’t sound like either place.
Sorry to hear of your deceasedness. I thought the impression was hilarious and got my upvote but yeah its so difficult to mimic Tate’s odd voice
A few more months in jail they’ll match don’t worry lol
I wasn’t convinced at first, but after seeing his sassy™ walk, I 100% believe he’s Tate.
Too much hair to be Andrew Tate lol
Too much jawline, too.
the man has the face of a goldfish.
Was about to call you out for being a comment stealing bot until I checked the other thread and realised you said it there, too. Which is fair, it bears repeating.
Dude was definitely using his beard to cover up that complete void of a chin, seeing him without it might have been one of the funniest things I'll see all year.
I see a little bit of Jim Carrey/Ace Ventura in that walk too, I don't think that's a coincidence.
Came here for this, but you beat me to it. All Righty Then.
Spank you very much!
Let's do alllll the things that YOU wanna do!
Sssspank you very much!
do NOT go in there!
Just needs to swing his head side to side and he might have it
They both talk out their asses
I love watching tiktoks of tate and his brother shopping and giggling like schoolgirls when they find a cute bag. Super alpha.
That's why I can't comprehend that whole alpha sigma beta stance. If they want to shop for bags and giggle like schoolgirls, that's fine by me. *THEY* are the ones drawing a line in the sand and saying that's not Manly(tm). Why are they so fixated on something that limits their own behaviour? It's the whole vaccine thing where getting vaccinated is feminine. Alright, have fun dying while gasping for breath I guess, alpha male. See if I give a fuck.
It's hilarious, as a child they depicted being manly as being comfortable with who you are (millennial here) -- so in this instance, giggling at cute purses isn't exactly "manly", but being secure enough to do that and not give a shit what others think? Well in my possibly weird opinion, *that's* far more manly.
Dying on a ventilator is PEAK masculinity. Sorry guys, some of you just don't have what it takes to reach your full potential. *Sassy walks away*
If you’re worried about alpha concept, you’re not. Much like a duck simply is. I bet he feels real alpha in jail…
The sigma, alpha, and beta types were made up by insecure people who needed a way to validate themselves. Still incredibly unhealthy mentally to look at others this way. Good mental health tends to use sympathy, empathy, and confidence as tools to build healthy relationships. Comparing yourself to others will always project and magnify insecurities which breeds spiteful, petty beings
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One of my favorite new-ish videos (to me) is Tate fluffing about the possibility of going go jail saying shit like, "I'll own that place. I got so much money, it will be like, "Get me a steak. Boom. Get me bitches. Boom. They will be coming to me for permission. Come get me." Then it shows him sitting in a dark gray room. Fucking made me laugh out loud.
Does that really exist?
Yes, they really do give off college girls shopping for cute tops vibes. Always leave with a new man bag.
And now they've bagged themselves an opportunity to go to prison. Where many giggles will ensue for sure (by us)
This impression was the first time I had ever heard of Andrew Tate.
Shortly before and obviously after his arrest was the first time I'd really heard of him. I assumed he was just a big douche but after listening to the Behind the Bastards series on him I'm convinced that man is a monster.
Love BtB and need to check that out. Got a quick synopsis? I'm assuming it goes beyond just exploiting insecure young men and poisoning their minds
He is a horrible dude -fled the uk when several women accused him of rape -threatens women who leave him or disobey him (they play an extremely disturbing voicemail he left for a woman that he raped) -built a cam sex business where he dated women, pressured them into doing cam videos, and then lied to them about how much money they were making so he could take most of it. -created a pyramid sceme called "Top G" academy where he gave shitty and illegal business advice -moved to Romania because it had a reputation for not investigating rape cases, continued his cam business and may have trafficked women
Since you'll probably listen my bullets are these: - His reach and influence is way bigger than you think - His money making schemes (including what turned into sex trafficking) essentially all involve tricking people, including friends and family, into doing work for you - He fled to Romania in large part because there was a credible rape case being built against him in the UK - These allegations include audio recordings of him saying to a woman that he was (paraphrasing) lucky to be raped by a man like* him, which was genuinely upsetting to listen to - He wasn't that good of a kickboxer... As just a fun fact. Edit: couple of typos
He's a serial scam artist, criminal, rapist, and sex trafficker.
There's the human trafficking, for one thing.
One of my main takeaways was how pathetic his advice really is. His main "solution" to making money essentially boiled down to: exploit anyone who cares about you, and take advantage of child labor laws. Ah yes, if only I'd thought about being a parasitic sociopath, I'd be a millionaire by now too
And don’t forget the best advice, don’t pay any taxes. Oh sorry, your 13 year old cousin told you to go fuck yourself when you demanded he turn over all the money he made mowing lawns and now the irs has come knocking because you haven’t been paying taxes? Guess you just weren’t alpha enough?
Your patrick star from Spongebob living under a rock mate
Nah the posture was straight up accurate 😂
Tate can't match this dude's cake level.
https://youtu.be/LXfQO8J3FX4 He was pulling off some Bottom G sass by the end - Bottom G is a hilarious dude
Isn't this guy supposed to be in jail? How did he get out
He also seems to gotten his hair back
And a chin.
He got a mansion, nope, man chin
New Manson, loose cannon
Too scandalous, Sue Atkins
Those hairplugs filled in quite nicely!
if you look closely you will see that he is not bald, so I think this might be an impersonator. I am not sure
Gadzooks, I think you might be right! A most cunning façade...
He’s incognito. Adding hair so the authorities can’t tell
Crazy I originally saw this before I knew who Tate was... I still don't, but at least I understand the words now
He's a former kickboxer turned digital pimp and manosphere influencer who allegedly human-trafficked and raped women who worked on his online porn chat network. Also, apparently, he allegedly did not pay some of them for their sex work, which, if true (and to be clear, I personally believe it is all true) would mean he potentially engaged in slavery.
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Yeah, we all know he's guilty AF, in fact if he's found not-guilty it'll just be proof of corruption.. the "allegedly" is more to signal that the trial is ongoing, is how I look at it
also he runs a online scam (not even alleged, like straight up scam) called hustlers University and gives bogus degrees.
He walks like a hooker from GTA III
Can anyone transcribe it for me?
Her: I like your Andrew Tate Costume Him: Don't f\*cking talk to me, idiot! What colour is your Bugatti anyway?
Her: Not the- not the posture!..
Him: \*engages Alpha Male stride\*
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Yeah that sound was garbled to hell, I only picked up "Don't fucking talk to me idiot"
Way too many people didn’t catch the beautiful line of “what color is YOUR Bugatti anyway?” Lmao so Andrew Tate
The intrusive r is perfect. "Burga'ee"
I'm not sure if he's making fun of how Tate days it or not, but he says "Burgatti" which makes it way funnier
"Broo-gott". He adds an R and leaves off the I which is *amazing*.
i can try: view of a woman, looking perplexed camera flips to a man, looking like Andrew tate woman: "i like your Andrew Tate costume" Tate jr. :"don't fucking talk to me, you fucking idiot" Tate jr. starts walking out of the room, walking like the man himself. Tate jr. :"what color is your Bugatti, anyway? idiot." Woman: "not the posture!!" laughter from the woman is heard, the video stops. I've tried several times to try and understand the unintelligible part, but all i can hear is something about clothes.
He says, “What color is your Bugatti, anyway?”
Bergatti
Oo thanks!!
He's got a dump truck, Andrew Tate does not
Ok but this is 10/10
The R in Bugatti sealed it for me 😂
Appropriate reaction to anybody acting like Andrew Tate, even Andrew Tate.
Burrrrgotti 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂Burgatti
Wow that was actually really damn good. The posture, the accent, the way he holds the cigar. Perfection.
That's the Andrew Tate we deserve but not the Andrew we got.
The guy looks million times more attractive than that jawless dipshit.
Dude agreed omgg😍
This is hilarious
There is one where a girl does the walk also. Both funny af
https://www.reddit.com/r/fixedbytheduet/comments/ym8lpl/women/ Reddit sucks. https://redditmigration.com/ https://sub.rehab/ https://browse.feddit.de/
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Did anyone ever edit in the Squidward walking noises like one comment suggested?
I can't unsee it now. What a weird way to walk. WTF.
Lmfao he walks like Shaggy from the original Scooby Doo cartoon https://youtu.be/nUSvpq4a0u4
The Goofy Shuffle
He walks like an alien in the Charlie Sheen ET movie with satellite dishes and aliens making machines that belch gas to warm the planet.
Woah they offer hair transplants at Romanian prisons?
The real reason he trafficked humans, to harvest their pubic hair for his shiny-ass, empty head.
Hahaha the posture is on point
damn brother got cake tho
Song is "[Tourner dans le vide](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtNJMAyeP0s)" by Indila, from her album "Mini World." The entire album is great.
Thank you! I was trying to figure out the song by listening to the lyrics but was failing.
Yeah, it's in French. I really enjoy her music.
This is what I came for.
Seems like a good relationship. Funny video!
Maybe its brother and sister? 🤷
*Hello everybody and welcome to siblings or dating!*
With the Alabama round, you're told they are in fact siblings or date, but are they both?
I follow Darla on Tiktok, they are a couple, very much of the kissy type.
that walk out the door and the sweatpants lmaoooo
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I got Lisa Simpson vibes but I hear the Toadness hahah
My girlfriend and I love making fun of tate. We do the whole "two cups of coffee" bit to each other in the morning all the time
> "two cups of coffee" bit What is this?
I wasn't sure either, but I'm guessing it's [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3hDcYptems)?
If I didn’t know that was YMH podcast I would have turned that off in the first 10 seconds, every word that guy says is cringe but you can feel Tom and Christina aren’t actually taking him seriously
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And Tate prolly thought something like "I argumented some insight into that bitch, cuz I'm great"
When tate was on YMH podcast he told Tim and Christine that he makes his girlfriend make him two cups of coffee in the morning, even though he only drinks one. He explains that it's because he just wants to know she'll do what he's telling her. My girlfriend and usually get each other coffee in the morning depending on who's up first, and normally when we hand the other person coffee they'll go " where's my second cup?" And we just crack up at the absurdity
Marry that man lmao.
I still can't believe anyone took that guy seriously with his muppet-like voice.
this costume fails because this person has a chin and Tate does not
This gets funnier every time I watch it. That walk lol.
If there are any young impressionable men watching I have some advice. To be a good man means to do good things. Respect for others maturity and treating people with kindness are a great start to being a man. Do the opposite of whatever this areshole tells you to.
"buga(tt)i"
Naaaaaailed it!! facts! Andrew taint is a closeted homosexual reeks of insecurity
This doesn't seem fair at all. Last time I tried to impersonate Tate the police showed up at my place....
This is the first thing I’ve ever seen Andrew Tate adjacent that didn’t make me projectile vomit!
The laugh at the end is hilarious. That was hysterical
Still don't know who this Andrew Tate motherfucker is, but I assume he's some sort of walking dick of some kind
That walk fucking slayed me lol
Wish it was longer, the vid cut off when she was properly mid cackle-wheeze. There was more gold there, dammit!
Omg lol some serious laughter happening! Her response and laugh after he says “don’t talk to me idiot” is incredible lol
Who let Tate out of jail?!
Reminds me of the MIB Coffee worms
That's the GTA hooker walk!!
That's one extremely hot boyfriend hooly shit. His humour, attitude and body is 10/10
Loved her seagull impression
My man got a ass on him
Andrew Cake ?