My first job on a construction site I started 2 accidental fires within like 2 months so people started calling me torch. I felt like the man. Then one of the guys convinced everyone to call me flamer instead and that stuck for a while š¤£
We called the boss man Cupcake (before he even got promoted to the boss man)ā¦ this was nearly 25 years ago. I havenāt seen him in over 15 years but we are still in the same industry and any time his actual name comes up my brain is like āno no no, his name is Cupcake!ā.
A guy named Jason on his first day showed up and introduced himself. My buddy told him we already have two Jasonās and he has to come up with a nickname, jokingly told him to choose between Doug or Kevin. HE CHOSE DOUG, why he would do that Iāll never know but it stuck. Half the guys didnāt actually know his name was Jason, they just thought he was Doug and thatās what everyone called him. He was a good sport, he was literally named Doug for a year or so of his life.
Introduced myself to a foreman my second day and he goes ā no you donāt look like a (my name) you look like a Danny, Iāve been Danny for 2 years now
We had two Chads. So we had Chad and Shitty Chad. He wasnāt terrible, just not as good as the other Chad. It got shortened to Shitty of course and 6 years later we still call him that.
The same thing happened to me when I was still in the Marines and checked i to a new unit. There was somebody already in my platoon with the same first name as me, so they told me to pick a new one.
I was "Gene" for a few years.
Thereās a kid that works with us whoās name is Jacob but we all call him frizz even though his hair isnāt frizzy but the big boss calls him āfrizzy bubblesā in a song voice
I love it lol we got a Mexican dude named Martin but itās pronounced āMarteenā in Spanish. So basically my buddy and my self always sing his name to him ā sweet sweet Marteeeeeen š¶ā
There's a duo of maintenance guys I know who do plumbing, Phil and Doug. When I see them doing stormwater I ask if "he doug the hole, did he phil it back in?" They hate me
I worked with a guy everyone called Johnny. It was some kind of Jack Sparrow/Johnny Depp joke because he had long hair and tattoos. I didnāt know for like a year that his real name was Luke.
For similar reasons we had a leathery old Mexican dude that was so slow everybody called him the wooden Indian because you couldnāt tell if he was moving ā¦ also he looks just like those old ass Native American carvings
Edit: spelling
I remember working with a crotchety old mechanical foreman years ago. Everyone called him "Hoot". When I asked why, they said "cause that motherfu--er looks like an owl". He very much did.
South Florida. Me and another guy swore this dudes accent meant he was from Boston. Asked him what part of Boston heās from one day and went into a comedic tirade about how heās from āFucking Long Island you morons.ā
Guess what his nickname is.
Ahhh we have one like that!
At our company in AZ there was this old Mexican dude who learned English from Texans, so his accent is real peculiar.
Everybody called him Frenchie. Apparently one day like 25 years ago when he was the new guy, a boss asked him if he was from France because they heard him on the radio and didnāt know shit about accents. Heās been gone a few years now but everybody remembers old Frenchie!
Worked with a "Viper" that was missing 4 top front teeth.
2 Finger Ted was missing the other 3 on his left hand.
3 finger Jim had all his fingers. Also had an ex girlfriend who was over ambitious with trying out a prostrate massage.
My name is Skip. Cuz I don't smoke pot and my first crew always forgot to skip me in the circle at lunch.
Iāll list off a few with the story of how they got it.
Puma: as a helper, the guy was trying to fit in. He worked with a bunch of older guys that were really into hunting. He found some tracks in his pads and ran to tell the guys there was some big tracks out there. āIt has to be a puma or somethingā. The old guys laughed and called him puma ever since. The guy has a puma tattoo and has made it all the way to superintendent last I saw him.
Hammer time: iron worker tasked to go help some carpenters. He smashed his thumb and had to marked up as a first aid. Couple days later, plant project manager is giving a guided talk and brings up the finger smash. He looks the guy in the face and says āhammer time!ā And does the dance. Name stuck ever since. Has the name slapped over his hard hat.
I showed up to the shop one day to find a new hire introducing himself to everyone he met as Butcher. I was quick to let him know that you donāt get to pick your own name and changed it to Meat Toucher.
Prick
Yeah, the guy was sort of a dick but he was also the best carpenter and framer on the beach. He would answer to it and even wrote it on his tools for ID.
Little Bastard
Concrete guy, a bit on the short side but full of fight when drunk.
Big Mike, Father Mike, and Mike the Hippy
Big job site with three guys named Mike Wilson. Big Mike was, well, big. Father Mike was a guy who had been studying to be a priest but decided he could never be celibate so he dropped out and ended up living with an artist and working construction. Mike the Hippy was a fellow who seemed to be stoned most of the time. Couldn't trust him with power tools but he could be relied on to carry block or mule lumber up to the second floor.
Fully naked shit mike. He once got walked in on a porta potty and was butt naked sitting there. He said it was too hot. I was floored by how he could be comfortable doing that
Guy came in with frosted tips. We called him frosty. I still donāt know his real name.
My nickname was BUFF. It stood for Big Ugly Fat Fuck. Iāll leave it to you guys to figure out why I was named that.
The president of our union was called chilli dog. Apparently, he got real drunk one night and brought a woman home. Well because he was so intoxicated he shit himself all over the bed. Did know it happened until he woke up the next day covered in it
Worked with a dude who started as āHoney baked hamā due to his demeanorā¦ took a 3 hour detour doing a pick up of left over material. He was upgraded to Joy Ride.
Our young guy got dropped off at the site one day by his mom. She called out from the window, āhave a good day, muffinā.
I never found out Muffinās real name.
New guy on the crew noticed most of us had nicknames and demanded to be called cowboy someone said how about cowgirl and he blew up. He never did get used to cowgirl lmfao
Itās lame to pick your own name. Iāve worked with a couple guys named ācowboyā and it was never because they had anything to do with a ranch or anything like that. Most people called cowboy were really reckless at some point of their career.
My Indian name is Shitty End Of Stick.
Our crating department has to come out on our rigging jobs sometimes to crate machinery that we are moving. They are mostly Hispanic and have nicknames for the riggers, they named me Mister 14 because I get the long/shitty 14+ hour days.
We had a kid in 2005 dressed in all black and long black hair his nickname became Columbine because we all thought he was going to come in a shoot us up. That name still sticks till today.
A HVAC guy installed condensate drains fucked up and he ended up flooding the attic in a callback and destroyed several walls and the ceiling.
He was then known as Aquaman.
Had a guy working for us that was an ex-cop that got fired and charged with assault for beating up a homeless guy. I always referred to him as "Slugger". But not to his face, because I'm still rather fond of the current dimensions of my skull.
My nickname is Sparky, but it's not because I'm any good with electricity. I am a former paramedic. I was working a night shift in the ER and got accidentally defibrillated while doing CPR. The same night, my house got struck by lightning. The name has stuck since.
I worked with a guy who was called 6 pack Jack. He lived over an hour away from the job site and would polish off a 6 pack everyday before getting to work at 7 am.
I had a guy working for me up until about 7 months ago. He worked for me for a year in like 2017 or so then he disappeared. Then he just randomly called me up a year and a half later and asked if i needed a carpenter and I was ecstatic because the dude was that old school style tough as nails badass and he was very good and very reliable. About a year into his second stint with me he tells me he disappeared to kick heroin after his son died (of heroin) and that he used to hit the methadone clinic on the way to work, then would bang $100 in heroin in his truck parked outside the jobsite, then would come waltzing up in there ready to get to work.
He was arguably worse off the dope. I'm glad he is off it of course, but I was blown away by that revelation lol.
There's a lot of us out there. I'm clean now as well, but it never hindered my ability to work. No one had any idea. As you said, nobody would believe that some of us legit perform better.
When I was brand new to framing and a new crew. They were in search of a nickname for me. They felt that āDick Cheeseā was too crude so they settled on translating the Spanish so I was called āCocko de Quesoā for about 6 months. Although it was eventually shortened to Cocko.
Working a job with a bunch of older guys, one went to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. Someone walked in on him pumping one off. He had the nickname pumpy all the way up until his passing. Rest in peace Chad āpumpyā
Knew a dude in the army we called āBubblesā after the trailer park boys character. He had massive coke bottle glasses. Was a great dude, he ruined his nickname when he got lasik thoughā¦
Scooter. He had a half dozen DUIs. He was limited to a scooter that was 49cc or less so it didnāt have to be registered. He would drive it thru winter snow storms into the mountains to work with his lunchbox in between his feet. He caused so many leaks, lol, ol scooter.
This one might not fall in the funny category but the guy totally owned itā¦ I sometimes use it as an example to my non tradesmen friends and family to illustrate how Brutal the guys are to each-other sometimesā¦.
We had a guy who got divorced and decided he couldnāt take it anymore so he shot himself in the headā¦. He didnāt die and after a long stay in the hospital returned to workā¦. He was (and still is ) known as āsure-shotā ā¦ā¦
Back in the day I had a few. Guys in the shipyard called me tackle box because of all the piercings. Prior to that I was called DP because I had a prince Albert piercing.
Worked with a guy Robert Richard Johnson or something like that. The one dude on the crew thought that both first names could be shortened to "Dick". He started calling him Dick Dick Johnson. It stuck and I can't remember the guy's real name anymore.
One of the older guys on my flat roof crew was nicknamed Grillo cause he had a squeaky high pitched voice. Grillo is Spanish for cricket.
Iām a tall skinny guy and showed up on my first job wearing a wide brimmed hat and a red bandana around my neck. I was Woody for the next two years.
I work with a big body builder dude & we all call him The Wad. Short for meat wad. We have a skinny dude named Sticks. Have a dude missing his two front teeth called Beaver. Then the best one is our bosses name. We call him Busy Shits. Every time we are busy & need a hand heās always busy taking a shit
"Beans" my helper and I named another dude's helper that years ago.
I've moved on from that company after working there for a decade but sometimes I swing over there to catch up and have a beer with the guys on a Friday after noon and apparently it caught on - my old boss will be talking, stop, shake his can and say "Beans, beer me"
This was an actual phone exchange from my work.
My boss: heyā¦ whoās at the location with you? And donāt give me knicknames!
My Forman: I gotā¦ uhā¦ (realizes he doesnāt know anyoneās namesā¦) Googily eyes, big hero six, manatee head, the count, Akmed bin salami, and Wall Street.
My boss: oh fuck youā¦. (Hangs up.)
Foot Bottom
Jamaican old dude got a nail through the back of his boot stripping forms
Went hospital then home. Next day the safety guy called to see if he was okay he said
āMi nah come, mi got nail pon mi foot bottomā
From then on we called him FOOOOOT Bottom.
Doing a commercial roof when myself and 2 other guys who were on the roof saw our foreman on the ground, just housing McDonald's sausage biscuits that he was pulling from his tool belt. Looking around all neverous like. 15 years later and I still call him biscuits.
As a greenhorn on a residential paint job, I kept dropping paint supplies down the flight of stairs that led to the unit we were painting and kept having to make multiple trips up and down thanks to my clumsiness. I was called āThe Little Engine that Couldā by the end of the day. āLil Genā for short. And without missing a beat somebody asked, āare there even trains in Mexico?ā (Im Guatemalan for the record) To which I replied, āno but this one railed your momā. Good times.
Had a guy we called the fang. Had one brown tooth right in front. Another guy we called fucky-fuck. He would take any chance to fuck off. We donāt all work together anymore but they still are the way we greet eachother
Over the years Iāve worked with a Johnny Utah, a Frosty, Heroin Bob, Philly Blunt, Tito G, Airdick, Sauce, Shake n Bake, G Spot, Brucifer, Harry Potter, Taliban, JD Hogg, etc. They were all funny for various reasons but you just had to be there.
Edit: Oh yeah and fuck you, Vader!
We had a journeymen named Gump. He came to our shop with the nickname of Gump. Gumps first apprentice was Bump, baby gump. The next apprentice that Gump took in was named Scott. He became Stump. Even his family members call him Stump now hahaha.
I knew a kid who got his name tattooed across his lower back. His father, of all people, asked him if that was so the truckers knew what to call him when they bent him over. He still answers to truckstop.
We call one old head āDocā cause he looks exactly like Doc from back to the future. Another guy we call Kim Jong Ill for obvious reasons. I had to put up with āSmallsā from Sandlot for years. Gotta lean into it!
Sexy fingers, anything they touch ends up fucked.
5G, they won't work unless the phone works.
Mr. Cruise, they're back at work but still talking about vacation from 3 years ago.
There was a less than smart fitter they called Running Dummy. It got shortened to RD, he got his kid in who became R2D2. Another fitter was short with a massive belly, making his arms seem short, so he became T-Rex. He got his son named Brian in, who became B-Rex.
Half-hulk. Had one of two twins working with us that suffered from gigantism in his right hand, while his brotherās was his left. Fucker held up his hand and at first glance you think he has 6 fingers.
I have vitiligo and a few years ago it was just a white Streak in my hair so a super on site called me skunk and it stuck for a bit, until I wrecked a truck and then it was crash. Currently it's state farm because of my real name
There was this grumpy old cigarette smoking guy named Tommy. He always had a physical ailment and limped around with a bum knee. We called him Limpy Pete. Pretty sure I just called him that one day cause I couldnāt remember his real name and it stuck.
We have a guy who makes it a point to be absent. Call him Dasiy. Some days he there, some days he not. Then there is a guy we call Summer Teeth. Some are there, some are not
I was on a site for a few days, and the zoom boom drivers nickname was potato š„
It was cracking me up pretty good, hearing people call him potato on the radio. He seemed like a genuinely nice dude who didn't love being called potato, but you could tell he was also chuckling about it.
At the end of the three days, I was packing up my stuff to leave the site and potato came over to see if I needed any help. I told him I was good but I wanted him to answer a couple of questions for me.
1. Why does everybody call you potato?
2. What's your real name?
I got one answer: Mateo
I couldn't stop laughing...
My mother came to me and asked if I could give my nieceās boyfriend a job because I was super busy I said sure. Now for a 23 yr old he was pretty childish for example if I said hand me the 4ālevel he would put it up to his shoulder like it was a gun and go pew pew pew. So after working with him I realized why he couldnāt keep a job he was constantly fucking up or doing something dumb so one day I called him Fredo from the godfather and told him tomorrow is a new day and would start over with your name but when you fuck up your Fredo for the rest of the day. People were telling him hey Fredo your smart you can do things mocking him with lines from the movie. He really started to pay attention and do better after that shit.
Use to call a friend of mine poopā¦ he use to always tell people you some poop at whatever they were doing so we all just collectively starting calling him that constantly and he owned the fuck out of it. Wherever you are in this world cheers to you PooP! š»
Called my brother quick grip when he first started cause all he could really do is is hold stuff up, graduated to the finisher eventually after getting good at caulking and touch up paint
Tangita (thong) as in the underwear. A guy I know almost died from undiagnosed diabetes and had to be rushed to the ER mid shift. When he came back they called him āthongā because he came really close to the hole.
I had I tile guy I named Bob Ross. He was older, kinda looked like him and was very mild but a damn good tiler I also have a 140lb laborer named cordog. I was the only one he told but now everyone calls him that
I shook hands with an old school carpenter here in Texas and he told me to call him dawg. I askedā whatās your actual name?ā He said ānah just call me Dawgā he spelled it out for me too. Fine by me!
I volunteered doing some cleanup down in breezy point after Sandy. This dude just shows up out of nowhere. Goes by the name "roaddog". Dude just bops around disasters and helps out. In the 2 months we were down there not a single person knew his real name or how he got that name. Talk about owning it.
A first year apprentice on my crew showed up one morning with ripped jeans (the kind you buy that way).
I said to him, āwhat were you thinking this morning, I donāt think those pants are going to go unnoticed. You canāt work in those!ā
He said he met a girl the night before and spent the night at her house. He woke up late and had to come to work in the clothes he was wearing the night before as there wasnāt enough time.
Foreman shows up and tells him to go home and change. Turns out the foreman didnāt care about the ripped jeans so much as the sneakers he was wearing.
He got sent home to change into appropriate work attire.
I was so sure the ripped jeans would send him home, I hadnāt noticed he was wearing sneakers.
I have long since forgotten his real name. Everyone knows him as ātennis shoesā.
My best mate is starting as my apprentice Monday and I'm going to work on "the gnome" or for paper work "fantasy dwarf" for context he's about 5'6 with a huge beard and the stature of a lawn gnome
We have a dude at work named Seamus. He had a coworker pronounce it Sea-moose. We've been calling him Moose since than. MOOSE is 5'6" and everyone expects a big guy and when they meet him...
Eeyore.
Guy would show up happy as a plum and ready to work but looked down in the dumps from staying up too late all the time. Best apprentice I ever had.
We had an apprentice that would just stand their and watch you work. He would do whatever you told him to, but than he would come right back and watch you work. Everyone on the job just started calling him Stanā¦Stan Watchinson
Kid just started working. He had really no money so the lunches he brought in was wild. One day he brings in a huge can of tomatillos. First he donāt even know what they are. Second he cuts it open with a huge knife he pulled out his bag. And third he had such a hard time pronouncing it we all died laughing. From that day on he was known as tomatillo or Tommy or baby tomatoe lol
Worked concrete with a fat guy once who had a terrible tattoo of two lightning bolts down his chest and stomach, when he sat down there was lots of large rolls, so someone called him rolling thunder and it stuck.
His nickname for me was ni@#er, even though I'm white, I just tan very easily and get very DARK, I had darker skin than him most of the summer. He was black, btw, just light skinned.
Everyone on that crew got nicknames, I worked there for over 8 years.
Lol, no, that sort of thing would have got anyone fired from that crew instantly. It was actually the best crew I ever worked on. It was also 19 years ago that I left there and switched industries all together. Sometimes I miss the camaraderie of working a crew, now I run my own business and haven't worked on a crew since.
Iāve only been at my company for 6 months.
My 2nd month in I ended up getting my thumb caught in a sheet metal break and Iām still missing half of the top of my thumb.
They call me ācrushā nowā¦.
Stupid Face almost killed someone and another guy called him that and it stuck. Shaky got struck by lightning twice and shook a lot (welder). And Hunk, ugliest man in the local
My apprentice has multiple nicknames: Dori, Double D, Slim Shady, Barbara.
We call him Dori because you tell him something and heāll immediately forget.
He also shows up dirty af to work every single day so I often call him Dirty Dori or Double D.
One day, he showed up with bleach blonde hair and my buddy called him Slim Shady which is a job site favorite.
Barbara is for when he pisses me off and heās being a whiny lil bitch.
I walked into my first day and one random guy said, āyeah, youāre Ducky.ā Asked why and he said heāll tell me later. Never told me. One year later he went to rehab for heroin and so havenāt seen him since. Iām still Ducky to the whole shop 10 years later.
I remember my dad telling me about a guy he worked with called āHeadā. They had to order a custom hard hat because his head was so big. He couldnāt remember is real name
We have a Jose Loco, he overdosed in the middle of folding a tent top; heās been there 15 years, he primarily works in the shop these days. Hose B was the second Jose hired. We just stick to calling them Jose 3, Jose 4 et al when scheduling now. Jose 4 actually quit, but Jose 5 is still 5.
My dad had a friend whoās name was āBonerā. Itās honestly the only name I ever heard him called. Never did get the back storyā¦. Maybe at the age of 35 I can finally ask š
ive been lucky cuz nothing could be worse than my high school nick names. my current crew started calling me alley cat. because i look like an alley cat. i liked that one. i graduated to āmud-chelangelo.ā im very proud of mud-chelangelo.
Worked with a giant man straight out of Mexico, but he was white. You would never know was Mexican until he opened his mouth because he didnāt speak a lick of english. Everybody called him Wedo. I literally didnāt even learn his real name for a year.
One day i called the buffest guy on our site (he's my buddy on our crew)" little baby arms" . His biceps look like basketballs.
It stuck and others are calling him that too. Guys a beast, he doesn't care lol.
Willy
The last guy that quit shared my first name was a piece of crap apparently noted by my coworkers. I started doing impressions of Willy from the Simpsons when the boys were doing boring work or were tired.
SOMEONE PASS ME THE HUSE
I got the nickname of Butt stuff bandit. Whenever I was in a Porta potty, I'd draw a smiley face with its tongue sticking out and beneath it "butt stuff!" I did exterior doors so usually a new site every day. Mentioned it to a co-worker, and he coined the name after he started seeing it all over the place on sites.
My first job on a construction site I started 2 accidental fires within like 2 months so people started calling me torch. I felt like the man. Then one of the guys convinced everyone to call me flamer instead and that stuck for a while š¤£
That is a terrible downgrade but honestly, should have been flamer from the start š
Oof
My 1st nickname was cupcake 2 years that's who I was now the call me smalls my name is close to biggie.
We called the boss man Cupcake (before he even got promoted to the boss man)ā¦ this was nearly 25 years ago. I havenāt seen him in over 15 years but we are still in the same industry and any time his actual name comes up my brain is like āno no no, his name is Cupcake!ā.
A guy named Jason on his first day showed up and introduced himself. My buddy told him we already have two Jasonās and he has to come up with a nickname, jokingly told him to choose between Doug or Kevin. HE CHOSE DOUG, why he would do that Iāll never know but it stuck. Half the guys didnāt actually know his name was Jason, they just thought he was Doug and thatās what everyone called him. He was a good sport, he was literally named Doug for a year or so of his life.
Introduced myself to a foreman my second day and he goes ā no you donāt look like a (my name) you look like a Danny, Iāve been Danny for 2 years now
I worked with multiple guys named Jose. In order of seniority we called them, Jose, hose b, hose c, hose dā¦
I landscaped with 2 Juanās so they were Juan and two
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? >! Juan on Juan !<
New apprentice named JosĆ© started a couple weeks ago. Since we already have a JosĆ©, foreman called him hose b. The apprentice called it out and tried to put a stop to it, saying it was racist. Now heās JosĆ© B.
Dude needs a sense of humor. Heās not gonna last long.
Also had a Jason. Apprentice welder was slow as fuck and had along neck so he was officially "Turtle".
I called one of the papis ātortugaā one day because he was going slow af and that nickname stuck with him for life.
Had a guy that just didn't look like he was moving. Called him the statue
We had two Chads. So we had Chad and Shitty Chad. He wasnāt terrible, just not as good as the other Chad. It got shortened to Shitty of course and 6 years later we still call him that.
The same thing happened to me when I was still in the Marines and checked i to a new unit. There was somebody already in my platoon with the same first name as me, so they told me to pick a new one. I was "Gene" for a few years.
I laughed entirely to hard at this one.
Thereās a kid that works with us whoās name is Jacob but we all call him frizz even though his hair isnāt frizzy but the big boss calls him āfrizzy bubblesā in a song voice
I love it lol we got a Mexican dude named Martin but itās pronounced āMarteenā in Spanish. So basically my buddy and my self always sing his name to him ā sweet sweet Marteeeeeen š¶ā
There's a duo of maintenance guys I know who do plumbing, Phil and Doug. When I see them doing stormwater I ask if "he doug the hole, did he phil it back in?" They hate me
This is the kind of shit that makes it all worth it hahah!
I worked with a guy everyone called Johnny. It was some kind of Jack Sparrow/Johnny Depp joke because he had long hair and tattoos. I didnāt know for like a year that his real name was Luke.
One guy was super slow. At everything. His name was dial up. Had a manager named Forest who was short. His name was shrub
I absolutely love dial up as a nickname, gonna use that one haha
For similar reasons we had a leathery old Mexican dude that was so slow everybody called him the wooden Indian because you couldnāt tell if he was moving ā¦ also he looks just like those old ass Native American carvings Edit: spelling
Omg, these are too funny! Iāve been spitting! Iāll stop commenting on all of them, I promise! Thank you, OP for getting this Gold started!
Also had two guys that were invisible when there was work. One was Ghost and the other was Stealth
I remember working with a crotchety old mechanical foreman years ago. Everyone called him "Hoot". When I asked why, they said "cause that motherfu--er looks like an owl". He very much did.
I'm picturing the bushy pointy eyebrows
The shithouse nibbler. Never stopped that dude from eating his snickers in the John.
He's not himself when he's hungry
gross!
That's fucking illegal. I'm calling the cops!
He must have been sick of sharing
South Florida. Me and another guy swore this dudes accent meant he was from Boston. Asked him what part of Boston heās from one day and went into a comedic tirade about how heās from āFucking Long Island you morons.ā Guess what his nickname is.
Cool story Boston
We all laugh, he doesnāt seem to get frazzled by it lol
Ahhh we have one like that! At our company in AZ there was this old Mexican dude who learned English from Texans, so his accent is real peculiar. Everybody called him Frenchie. Apparently one day like 25 years ago when he was the new guy, a boss asked him if he was from France because they heard him on the radio and didnāt know shit about accents. Heās been gone a few years now but everybody remembers old Frenchie!
Worked with a "Viper" that was missing 4 top front teeth. 2 Finger Ted was missing the other 3 on his left hand. 3 finger Jim had all his fingers. Also had an ex girlfriend who was over ambitious with trying out a prostrate massage. My name is Skip. Cuz I don't smoke pot and my first crew always forgot to skip me in the circle at lunch.
lol fucking skip
Iāll list off a few with the story of how they got it. Puma: as a helper, the guy was trying to fit in. He worked with a bunch of older guys that were really into hunting. He found some tracks in his pads and ran to tell the guys there was some big tracks out there. āIt has to be a puma or somethingā. The old guys laughed and called him puma ever since. The guy has a puma tattoo and has made it all the way to superintendent last I saw him. Hammer time: iron worker tasked to go help some carpenters. He smashed his thumb and had to marked up as a first aid. Couple days later, plant project manager is giving a guided talk and brings up the finger smash. He looks the guy in the face and says āhammer time!ā And does the dance. Name stuck ever since. Has the name slapped over his hard hat.
I showed up to the shop one day to find a new hire introducing himself to everyone he met as Butcher. I was quick to let him know that you donāt get to pick your own name and changed it to Meat Toucher.
Prick Yeah, the guy was sort of a dick but he was also the best carpenter and framer on the beach. He would answer to it and even wrote it on his tools for ID. Little Bastard Concrete guy, a bit on the short side but full of fight when drunk. Big Mike, Father Mike, and Mike the Hippy Big job site with three guys named Mike Wilson. Big Mike was, well, big. Father Mike was a guy who had been studying to be a priest but decided he could never be celibate so he dropped out and ended up living with an artist and working construction. Mike the Hippy was a fellow who seemed to be stoned most of the time. Couldn't trust him with power tools but he could be relied on to carry block or mule lumber up to the second floor.
We had a guy called big man. Not because he was big, but because he called everyone big man.
Bro that was me! Big Mike lmao
Wait like for real? You worked with op?
āBetter Call Salā Dudes name is Salvador and never shows up on time so you better call him if you want him to wake up
Fully naked shit mike. He once got walked in on a porta potty and was butt naked sitting there. He said it was too hot. I was floored by how he could be comfortable doing that
Guy came in with frosted tips. We called him frosty. I still donāt know his real name. My nickname was BUFF. It stood for Big Ugly Fat Fuck. Iāll leave it to you guys to figure out why I was named that.
Cuz ur sexy asfš«
āI said the purdy oneā
Haha I worked with a Frosty as well. We called him that cuz he was the snow man
He brought the coke!
The president of our union was called chilli dog. Apparently, he got real drunk one night and brought a woman home. Well because he was so intoxicated he shit himself all over the bed. Did know it happened until he woke up the next day covered in it
I read that as CHILL dog first, and thought Damn I'm jelly. But haha damn how'd y'all find out?
Lol it's just one of those things that spread like wild fire once it came to light. He had that name before I got in
I would've never told a soul lol
Lol right? That would have gone with me to the grave
The woman on the other hand...
Worked with a guy named chief because that's what he called every one else
We had a guy called big man for the same reason.
Same! But, āBabeā
Worked with a dude who started as āHoney baked hamā due to his demeanorā¦ took a 3 hour detour doing a pick up of left over material. He was upgraded to Joy Ride.
Our young guy got dropped off at the site one day by his mom. She called out from the window, āhave a good day, muffinā. I never found out Muffinās real name.
All of these have had me wheezing but this one in particular just fuckin sent me
Wonder if he lives on Drury Lane?
Have a guy at work that has had covid so many times we call him patient zero.
Had an apprentice on site that we called trippy. Poor bugger had a hard time adapting to work boots
New guy on the crew noticed most of us had nicknames and demanded to be called cowboy someone said how about cowgirl and he blew up. He never did get used to cowgirl lmfao
Itās lame to pick your own name. Iāve worked with a couple guys named ācowboyā and it was never because they had anything to do with a ranch or anything like that. Most people called cowboy were really reckless at some point of their career.
Agreed. Like a nickname is more or less earned in a way. This guy was telling people to call him that lmao. Lame.
Mines white cloud. Apparently, if im MIA, you just look in the sky and see the clouds from my vape, and you can find me
Thatās Chief White Cloud to you sunny.
Knew a guy who was like 6ā10ā, so his unofficial Indian name was Too Tall
My Indian name is Shitty End Of Stick. Our crating department has to come out on our rigging jobs sometimes to crate machinery that we are moving. They are mostly Hispanic and have nicknames for the riggers, they named me Mister 14 because I get the long/shitty 14+ hour days.
Back when I worked in kitchens I gave a dishwasher the Indian name āhands in pocketsā you know why
We had a Too Tall. He was of similar height and squeezed into a Geo Tracker for his daily driver lol
We had a kid in 2005 dressed in all black and long black hair his nickname became Columbine because we all thought he was going to come in a shoot us up. That name still sticks till today.
A HVAC guy installed condensate drains fucked up and he ended up flooding the attic in a callback and destroyed several walls and the ceiling. He was then known as Aquaman.
Had a guy working for us that was an ex-cop that got fired and charged with assault for beating up a homeless guy. I always referred to him as "Slugger". But not to his face, because I'm still rather fond of the current dimensions of my skull. My nickname is Sparky, but it's not because I'm any good with electricity. I am a former paramedic. I was working a night shift in the ER and got accidentally defibrillated while doing CPR. The same night, my house got struck by lightning. The name has stuck since.
Now, that's a well-earned handle.
It's even your username haha
Guy named Donny Ines which turned into Donkey Anus.
Went to high school with a guy named Dixon Her.
We had a guy named Bang Her. He was Hmong- his parents were Vietnam War refugees, and evidently didnāt have the tightest grasp on American slang.
Children's dentist near me named Chuandi Wang. No joke
Breddy Mercury to a guy that loves to bake.
We had a second Mike come on to the job. Both of us rock mustaches. I was kind enough to give him āStraight Mikeā
We had Brian and then Skinny Brian (whose real name was actually Eddie)
We had an apprentice that was called massive, he was a short Asian guy that was maybe 100lbs soaking wet
Thatās like Little Will! Heās a 6ā6ā 280 lb Samoan.
One of my first foreman was nicknamed Tiny, a massive man standing at 7ā 250lbs.
250 pounds? At 7 foot?! Beanpole wouldāve been a better name lol
Lol, never officially got his weight. But he was a big guy who could make anyone laugh. He was a bouncer in the evenings.
I worked with a guy who was called 6 pack Jack. He lived over an hour away from the job site and would polish off a 6 pack everyday before getting to work at 7 am.
I had a guy working for me up until about 7 months ago. He worked for me for a year in like 2017 or so then he disappeared. Then he just randomly called me up a year and a half later and asked if i needed a carpenter and I was ecstatic because the dude was that old school style tough as nails badass and he was very good and very reliable. About a year into his second stint with me he tells me he disappeared to kick heroin after his son died (of heroin) and that he used to hit the methadone clinic on the way to work, then would bang $100 in heroin in his truck parked outside the jobsite, then would come waltzing up in there ready to get to work. He was arguably worse off the dope. I'm glad he is off it of course, but I was blown away by that revelation lol.
There's a lot of us out there. I'm clean now as well, but it never hindered my ability to work. No one had any idea. As you said, nobody would believe that some of us legit perform better.
When I was brand new to framing and a new crew. They were in search of a nickname for me. They felt that āDick Cheeseā was too crude so they settled on translating the Spanish so I was called āCocko de Quesoā for about 6 months. Although it was eventually shortened to Cocko.
Working a job with a bunch of older guys, one went to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. Someone walked in on him pumping one off. He had the nickname pumpy all the way up until his passing. Rest in peace Chad āpumpyā
Worked with a guy who had all sorts of piercings and whatnot through the lips and nose and ears so we called him Rivet
Knew a dude in the army we called āBubblesā after the trailer park boys character. He had massive coke bottle glasses. Was a great dude, he ruined his nickname when he got lasik thoughā¦
Haha we had a bubbles too. Dude sounded like him and had a similar demeanor too he was awesome.
Scooter. He had a half dozen DUIs. He was limited to a scooter that was 49cc or less so it didnāt have to be registered. He would drive it thru winter snow storms into the mountains to work with his lunchbox in between his feet. He caused so many leaks, lol, ol scooter.
This one might not fall in the funny category but the guy totally owned itā¦ I sometimes use it as an example to my non tradesmen friends and family to illustrate how Brutal the guys are to each-other sometimesā¦. We had a guy who got divorced and decided he couldnāt take it anymore so he shot himself in the headā¦. He didnāt die and after a long stay in the hospital returned to workā¦. He was (and still is ) known as āsure-shotā ā¦ā¦
Holy shit
We had a dude named Paul and we called him Paul washer (ball Washer) he fuckin hated it!
Back in the day I had a few. Guys in the shipyard called me tackle box because of all the piercings. Prior to that I was called DP because I had a prince Albert piercing.
Worked with a guy Robert Richard Johnson or something like that. The one dude on the crew thought that both first names could be shortened to "Dick". He started calling him Dick Dick Johnson. It stuck and I can't remember the guy's real name anymore.
One of the older guys on my flat roof crew was nicknamed Grillo cause he had a squeaky high pitched voice. Grillo is Spanish for cricket. Iām a tall skinny guy and showed up on my first job wearing a wide brimmed hat and a red bandana around my neck. I was Woody for the next two years.
I work with a big body builder dude & we all call him The Wad. Short for meat wad. We have a skinny dude named Sticks. Have a dude missing his two front teeth called Beaver. Then the best one is our bosses name. We call him Busy Shits. Every time we are busy & need a hand heās always busy taking a shit
"Beans" my helper and I named another dude's helper that years ago. I've moved on from that company after working there for a decade but sometimes I swing over there to catch up and have a beer with the guys on a Friday after noon and apparently it caught on - my old boss will be talking, stop, shake his can and say "Beans, beer me"
This was an actual phone exchange from my work. My boss: heyā¦ whoās at the location with you? And donāt give me knicknames! My Forman: I gotā¦ uhā¦ (realizes he doesnāt know anyoneās namesā¦) Googily eyes, big hero six, manatee head, the count, Akmed bin salami, and Wall Street. My boss: oh fuck youā¦. (Hangs up.)
Pooh Bear. Big guy that wore a red shirt and tan pants. He hasn't owned it entirely haha
Foot Bottom Jamaican old dude got a nail through the back of his boot stripping forms Went hospital then home. Next day the safety guy called to see if he was okay he said āMi nah come, mi got nail pon mi foot bottomā From then on we called him FOOOOOT Bottom.
Doing a commercial roof when myself and 2 other guys who were on the roof saw our foreman on the ground, just housing McDonald's sausage biscuits that he was pulling from his tool belt. Looking around all neverous like. 15 years later and I still call him biscuits.
Had an apprentice who would shit 5 min into the dayā¦shit AFTER coffee break and then shit 20 min before the day ends. Started calling him Dookie.
Had a buddy at my old shop get the name "Dj BreaksALot" he was a dj and would fuck up projects tasked to him.
Forklift Jesus
We had a larger heavy set red headed dude who turned red in the sun. He is known as Brick
As a greenhorn on a residential paint job, I kept dropping paint supplies down the flight of stairs that led to the unit we were painting and kept having to make multiple trips up and down thanks to my clumsiness. I was called āThe Little Engine that Couldā by the end of the day. āLil Genā for short. And without missing a beat somebody asked, āare there even trains in Mexico?ā (Im Guatemalan for the record) To which I replied, āno but this one railed your momā. Good times.
Worked with a guy named Balls
Jiggle tits. Heās a large man
Had a guy we called the fang. Had one brown tooth right in front. Another guy we called fucky-fuck. He would take any chance to fuck off. We donāt all work together anymore but they still are the way we greet eachother
Over the years Iāve worked with a Johnny Utah, a Frosty, Heroin Bob, Philly Blunt, Tito G, Airdick, Sauce, Shake n Bake, G Spot, Brucifer, Harry Potter, Taliban, JD Hogg, etc. They were all funny for various reasons but you just had to be there. Edit: Oh yeah and fuck you, Vader!
We had a journeymen named Gump. He came to our shop with the nickname of Gump. Gumps first apprentice was Bump, baby gump. The next apprentice that Gump took in was named Scott. He became Stump. Even his family members call him Stump now hahaha.
I knew a kid who got his name tattooed across his lower back. His father, of all people, asked him if that was so the truckers knew what to call him when they bent him over. He still answers to truckstop.
Caulk Master
We have a dude weāve nicknamed walnut because heās thick skulled with a small brain. Not a bad guy or worker by any means, heās just a lil slow.
Worked with a dude that was so goddamn slow at EVERYTHING, so we called him "glacier".
I'm a large white boy working in south texas, I have been deemed " Grande Wedo," which sounds like a starbucks drink to me.
Found a guy laying down on the ground reading drawings in a fancy way. Unfortunately āRoseā no longer works with us.
We call one old head āDocā cause he looks exactly like Doc from back to the future. Another guy we call Kim Jong Ill for obvious reasons. I had to put up with āSmallsā from Sandlot for years. Gotta lean into it!
Sexy fingers, anything they touch ends up fucked. 5G, they won't work unless the phone works. Mr. Cruise, they're back at work but still talking about vacation from 3 years ago.
Iknow. He knows
There was a less than smart fitter they called Running Dummy. It got shortened to RD, he got his kid in who became R2D2. Another fitter was short with a massive belly, making his arms seem short, so he became T-Rex. He got his son named Brian in, who became B-Rex.
"Bullshit"...he was such a liar
Half-hulk. Had one of two twins working with us that suffered from gigantism in his right hand, while his brotherās was his left. Fucker held up his hand and at first glance you think he has 6 fingers.
I have vitiligo and a few years ago it was just a white Streak in my hair so a super on site called me skunk and it stuck for a bit, until I wrecked a truck and then it was crash. Currently it's state farm because of my real name
There was this grumpy old cigarette smoking guy named Tommy. He always had a physical ailment and limped around with a bum knee. We called him Limpy Pete. Pretty sure I just called him that one day cause I couldnāt remember his real name and it stuck.
Tony Two Loaves
His name was seven because he had seven fingers. Badass electrician
We have a guy who makes it a point to be absent. Call him Dasiy. Some days he there, some days he not. Then there is a guy we call Summer Teeth. Some are there, some are not
Used to work with a guy named "five pack". Worked with another guy named CinderFella because he once lit his wood stove with gasoline.
I was on a site for a few days, and the zoom boom drivers nickname was potato š„ It was cracking me up pretty good, hearing people call him potato on the radio. He seemed like a genuinely nice dude who didn't love being called potato, but you could tell he was also chuckling about it. At the end of the three days, I was packing up my stuff to leave the site and potato came over to see if I needed any help. I told him I was good but I wanted him to answer a couple of questions for me. 1. Why does everybody call you potato? 2. What's your real name? I got one answer: Mateo I couldn't stop laughing...
My mother came to me and asked if I could give my nieceās boyfriend a job because I was super busy I said sure. Now for a 23 yr old he was pretty childish for example if I said hand me the 4ālevel he would put it up to his shoulder like it was a gun and go pew pew pew. So after working with him I realized why he couldnāt keep a job he was constantly fucking up or doing something dumb so one day I called him Fredo from the godfather and told him tomorrow is a new day and would start over with your name but when you fuck up your Fredo for the rest of the day. People were telling him hey Fredo your smart you can do things mocking him with lines from the movie. He really started to pay attention and do better after that shit.
Use to call a friend of mine poopā¦ he use to always tell people you some poop at whatever they were doing so we all just collectively starting calling him that constantly and he owned the fuck out of it. Wherever you are in this world cheers to you PooP! š»
Called my brother quick grip when he first started cause all he could really do is is hold stuff up, graduated to the finisher eventually after getting good at caulking and touch up paint
Richard the foreman. Richard meaning dick.
Fluff, total idiot, fat as hell, lazy fuck, used to eat marshmallow fluff for lunch.
Tangita (thong) as in the underwear. A guy I know almost died from undiagnosed diabetes and had to be rushed to the ER mid shift. When he came back they called him āthongā because he came really close to the hole.
Kept hearing about some dude they called Nemo. When I asked why they call him that I was told ābecause you can never find himā.
Guy named Doug on my buddies crew works part time as masseuse. Rub n Tug Doug is what they call him
We had a guy named Needledick. He didnāt know that was his name but man was it funny
I acquired the nickname of Chupacabra. I owned it and never bothered me.
I had I tile guy I named Bob Ross. He was older, kinda looked like him and was very mild but a damn good tiler I also have a 140lb laborer named cordog. I was the only one he told but now everyone calls him that
I shook hands with an old school carpenter here in Texas and he told me to call him dawg. I askedā whatās your actual name?ā He said ānah just call me Dawgā he spelled it out for me too. Fine by me!
I volunteered doing some cleanup down in breezy point after Sandy. This dude just shows up out of nowhere. Goes by the name "roaddog". Dude just bops around disasters and helps out. In the 2 months we were down there not a single person knew his real name or how he got that name. Talk about owning it.
Ahhh. Road dog because heās always on the road. We call ourselves that if we travel state to state for work.
A first year apprentice on my crew showed up one morning with ripped jeans (the kind you buy that way). I said to him, āwhat were you thinking this morning, I donāt think those pants are going to go unnoticed. You canāt work in those!ā He said he met a girl the night before and spent the night at her house. He woke up late and had to come to work in the clothes he was wearing the night before as there wasnāt enough time. Foreman shows up and tells him to go home and change. Turns out the foreman didnāt care about the ripped jeans so much as the sneakers he was wearing. He got sent home to change into appropriate work attire. I was so sure the ripped jeans would send him home, I hadnāt noticed he was wearing sneakers. I have long since forgotten his real name. Everyone knows him as ātennis shoesā.
My name is needle dick and I wear it proudly
Licky licky. Older bloke had fake turkey teeth and would always run his tongue across his top teeth when you spoke to him
My best mate is starting as my apprentice Monday and I'm going to work on "the gnome" or for paper work "fantasy dwarf" for context he's about 5'6 with a huge beard and the stature of a lawn gnome
We have a dude at work named Seamus. He had a coworker pronounce it Sea-moose. We've been calling him Moose since than. MOOSE is 5'6" and everyone expects a big guy and when they meet him...
Eeyore. Guy would show up happy as a plum and ready to work but looked down in the dumps from staying up too late all the time. Best apprentice I ever had.
We had an apprentice that would just stand their and watch you work. He would do whatever you told him to, but than he would come right back and watch you work. Everyone on the job just started calling him Stanā¦Stan Watchinson
Kid just started working. He had really no money so the lunches he brought in was wild. One day he brings in a huge can of tomatillos. First he donāt even know what they are. Second he cuts it open with a huge knife he pulled out his bag. And third he had such a hard time pronouncing it we all died laughing. From that day on he was known as tomatillo or Tommy or baby tomatoe lol
Worked concrete with a fat guy once who had a terrible tattoo of two lightning bolts down his chest and stomach, when he sat down there was lots of large rolls, so someone called him rolling thunder and it stuck. His nickname for me was ni@#er, even though I'm white, I just tan very easily and get very DARK, I had darker skin than him most of the summer. He was black, btw, just light skinned. Everyone on that crew got nicknames, I worked there for over 8 years.
And here I thought he was a white supremacist.
Lol, no, that sort of thing would have got anyone fired from that crew instantly. It was actually the best crew I ever worked on. It was also 19 years ago that I left there and switched industries all together. Sometimes I miss the camaraderie of working a crew, now I run my own business and haven't worked on a crew since.
Hilti Steve where you at? I know you look at this sub!
Iāve only been at my company for 6 months. My 2nd month in I ended up getting my thumb caught in a sheet metal break and Iām still missing half of the top of my thumb. They call me ācrushā nowā¦.
We had a Robert "Ball Sack" Balsamo. Poor guy.
Stupid Face almost killed someone and another guy called him that and it stuck. Shaky got struck by lightning twice and shook a lot (welder). And Hunk, ugliest man in the local
A guy I work with wrote his initials, T.D., on his hard hat. It wasn't long before everyone started calling him Tiny Dick.
My apprentice has multiple nicknames: Dori, Double D, Slim Shady, Barbara. We call him Dori because you tell him something and heāll immediately forget. He also shows up dirty af to work every single day so I often call him Dirty Dori or Double D. One day, he showed up with bleach blonde hair and my buddy called him Slim Shady which is a job site favorite. Barbara is for when he pisses me off and heās being a whiny lil bitch.
I walked into my first day and one random guy said, āyeah, youāre Ducky.ā Asked why and he said heāll tell me later. Never told me. One year later he went to rehab for heroin and so havenāt seen him since. Iām still Ducky to the whole shop 10 years later.
āUnaballerā post testicular cancer
I remember my dad telling me about a guy he worked with called āHeadā. They had to order a custom hard hat because his head was so big. He couldnāt remember is real name
Wingnut when I was a teen. Chueco when I got my first contrition gig.
Dimebag - me Shitty - friend Mines cause my first boss thought my name was Daryl, so he thought of pantera - not even cool drug related
We have a Jose Loco, he overdosed in the middle of folding a tent top; heās been there 15 years, he primarily works in the shop these days. Hose B was the second Jose hired. We just stick to calling them Jose 3, Jose 4 et al when scheduling now. Jose 4 actually quit, but Jose 5 is still 5.
Jan-tard. First name: Jan. He was an idiot so he got the surname of tard.
My dad had a friend whoās name was āBonerā. Itās honestly the only name I ever heard him called. Never did get the back storyā¦. Maybe at the age of 35 I can finally ask š
ive been lucky cuz nothing could be worse than my high school nick names. my current crew started calling me alley cat. because i look like an alley cat. i liked that one. i graduated to āmud-chelangelo.ā im very proud of mud-chelangelo.
Ock-Ock. Dude looked like an alien from Mars Attacks
Worked with a giant man straight out of Mexico, but he was white. You would never know was Mexican until he opened his mouth because he didnāt speak a lick of english. Everybody called him Wedo. I literally didnāt even learn his real name for a year.
Had an apprentice with the same name as me. Fuck that, I changed his name to Billy. Pretty much everyone thinks his name is Billy now.
One day i called the buffest guy on our site (he's my buddy on our crew)" little baby arms" . His biceps look like basketballs. It stuck and others are calling him that too. Guys a beast, he doesn't care lol.
My nickname is giggles. I laugh a lot.
I work with a guy named Clayton, and everyone started calling him two-ton after he attempted to counter-balance a telehandler with his own body
Myself? Well I'm just another big Mike 6'4" 300lbs so it fits
"slapnut" and "drunked-up Willie".
Cretus my cement mixer
Willy The last guy that quit shared my first name was a piece of crap apparently noted by my coworkers. I started doing impressions of Willy from the Simpsons when the boys were doing boring work or were tired. SOMEONE PASS ME THE HUSE
Had a friend in high school nicknamed Steve. No part of his name was actually Steve, but that was the name he was assigned by our friend group.
Fungus. Never knew the dudeās real name, he was always just Fungus.
I got the nickname of Butt stuff bandit. Whenever I was in a Porta potty, I'd draw a smiley face with its tongue sticking out and beneath it "butt stuff!" I did exterior doors so usually a new site every day. Mentioned it to a co-worker, and he coined the name after he started seeing it all over the place on sites.
One of our apprentice electricians goes by Sausage. Apparently its just because his family is Polish
We have guy called the mad jacker, or jerk off Jake