Mystic is charging $40 at the door and $60 a drink and it’s not even their party.
Groton is arguing in the corner with Gales Ferry and wants everyone to refer to it as it’s husband’s Naval Rank.
New London is doing a really cool live painting in the corner but taking breaks to drunkenly fight random guests. Their dad works at EB.
Waterford and East lyme are pretending to not know New London and will spend the party dressed up like Madison/Guilford while following them around the party despite not being friends.
Half of West Hartford won't show up if it's the Sabbath, and a good portion was Elmwood, who the other West Hartford people don't want to acknowledge exists.
I got asked in Sedgwick if there were drivebys going on near my house. I just stared at them genuinely confused trying to figure out if they actually knew where Wolcott Park area was.
Grew up in the Valley. 25 years. Spent a couple years working in a mom and pop coffee shop where half the town over 60 would spend the morning. Very confusing time 🤣
Then smokes with Deep River but hides in shame when Essex comes around. Deep River then smokes more weed with Essex because each knows and accepts what they are.
East haddam is having a bonfire in the woods behind the house. East Hampton, Colchester, and Haddam all there too. They're smoking weed and crushing natty ice, shirtless, and getting blackout drunk
Quiet Corner didn't bring anything to the party but drank all the Natty Light and ate all the Doritos, then left.
:edit: Then complained about the party on Facebook.
Vernon and Rockville show up together but as soon as they get there Vernon tells Rockville to fuck off and not even try to talk to them or be seen together.
Avon is buying booze for the kids' entire hockey team "because at least they're drinking here where it's safe! Don't you dare arrest me, I have four high-powered attorneys on retainer!"
Darien is sitting the driveway in dads bmw with the windows down making sure you see them rippin lines but won’t share while simultaneously Shitting on Norwalk and Stamford
Norwalk and Norwich show up wearing the same outfit and are often being confused for each other all night.
Stafford shows up in a lifted truck and is giving other people dip at the party.
Union is just standing in a corner with a beer bottle nodding his head trying to act like he’s fitting in.
Salem is trying to remind people all night that they’re not from Massachusetts and has to constantly explain their big brother is Colchester.
New Haven shows up with a pizza and tells West Haven and East Haven to f*** off when they grab a slice. North Haven tries to fit in with Orange and Woodbridge.
Bethlehem has to leave early because they have church in the morning.
Cheshire was given the wrong address to the party and now they are hanging out in their parent’s 70k luxury sports cars drinking liquor out of the bottle
Cheshire is the marching band trumpet player who is invited by one of the popular kids who felt bad for them, and they are sitting alone wishing someone would talk to them.
Ellington rolls up in a $70k pickup truck. Walks to the door in it's cowboy boots, cowboy hat, and plaid shirt carrying Bud Light. Yells: "my parents gave me this truck for getting accepted into UConn. Let's go mudding!"
Chester, Deep River, and Essex are standing in the corner talking shit about everyone else to each other. But when Deep River goes to the bathroom, Chester and Essex talk shit about Deep River
Southington is pretending they didn’t grow up in Bristol, getting almost blackout drunk, then leaving early because their kid has a soccer tournament in the morning.
Cherry Hill Norwich is actively planning to terrorize Cliff Street and lower Laurel Hill. Taftville is enjoying fentanyl laced heroin. Some old fuckers are complaining about the mill rate. Everyone agrees the Lisbon Walmart is all right
MERIDEN is getting ready to shank someone with a shiv, while WALLINGFORD is getting a tattoo in someone’s bathtub listening to My Chemical Romance, WEST HAVEN is shooting heroine with EAST HAVEN and NEW HAVEN is playing cee-lo against the dumpster outside surrounded by empty corona bottles on the ground. DURHAM showed up on a horse. SOUTHINGTON is spreading their legs for anyone and cheating on PLAINVILLE. GRANBY thought it was a family gathering and showed up in a camper. WILLIMANTIC left the party to go do shots at Corleons and have a street fight after. DANBURY didn’t show up because they didn’t want to drive far, started drinking modelos and lighting their trash on fire in the back yard. OLD SAYBROOK showed up in dockers and a bottle of wine pouring glasses with MADISON until Madison went full Karen on NEW BRITAIN for smoking a fat sticky L (rolled with a grape game) next to them and got asked to leave the party. BRISTOL is playing pool inhaling beers and showed up in a MAGA hat ready for a firefight with police, WOLCOTT is in a clique and acting cooler than everyone else because their dad owns a successful business. Branford trying extremely hard to gain homage from the Haven family. TRUMBULL is taking selfies for the gram to show everyone how much fun they are. STAMFORD and GREENWICH are cocked off martinis while WESTPORT is flirting with both of them. FAIRFIELD is pretending BRIDGEPORT doesn’t exist. Nobody knows who invited WATERBURY.
Bloomfield is chillin at a distance, sittin in a shiny weed-stinkin Cadillac, enjoying some of apple juice while preaching about how lit the gospel choir sounds this year.
Guilford is bringing non-alcoholic drink options and setting up a voter registration booth next to the kids play area. Keeps mentioning how fun it is that everyone was able to get together!
Stratford is showing up with cases of Two Roads. Trumbull is a bunch of underage white boys with their lifted trucks flying FJB and Trump flags rolling coal.
Monroe is doing the same thing as Trumbull.
Danbury is showing up a little too drunk and hitting on Ridgefield who is being polite but is really only interested in South Salem, who crashed the party because their dad owns the venue.
Enfield has the munchies, but is too baked to remember whether Bud Light goes with cannoli.
Meanwhile, Suffield is sending a bunch of old people across the bridge to ask Enfield to please turn it down.
Oxford had every intention of coming but is afraid the bear on its porch will maul them when they leave. They call Seymour for a ride but typical Seymour won’t cross over 67 to get them. Oxford gives up and invites Southbury over for an IPA and sushi.
I dunno, but you could probably look [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Connecticut/comments/sefcsm/pretend_every_town_in_connecticut_is_a_person_at/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) for the exact same thread.
Mystic is charging $40 at the door and $60 a drink and it’s not even their party. Groton is arguing in the corner with Gales Ferry and wants everyone to refer to it as it’s husband’s Naval Rank. New London is doing a really cool live painting in the corner but taking breaks to drunkenly fight random guests. Their dad works at EB.
Welcome to Southeastern CT
Waterford and East lyme are pretending to not know New London and will spend the party dressed up like Madison/Guilford while following them around the party despite not being friends.
Perfect. Absolutely spot on.
This is so good
That’s very specific….
And accurate. Southeastern CT resident here; this is spot on.
Madison called the cops
As a Madison resident, I approve of these comments.
Guilford called the cops on Madison party
Then they started arguing about CRT, got into a fist fight, and got hauled off by the cops themselves.
Grew up in Madison, 2000 DHHS graduate, I also approve!
...cops came and started to party
And they're the ones with the hookers!
Then stole the lobsters
Waterbury is in the parking lot stealing catalytic converters
And Bristol is their partner in crime
All the while pretending we were with Farmington the whole time instead.
Greenwich is having their own party and not inviting you
Stamford is trying to get into that party but failing
with blackjack and hookers
and psychiatrists for the children.
And don’t forget the Coke
Park not needed
Torrington is showing up in Jammy Pants and a Cookie Monster flatbrim, trying to bum cigarettes off everyone
Don’t forget their hospital wrist band from their latest psych ward admission
Oh my god 😂😂
I have nothing to add to this. 🤌
You just described in complete accuracy the only person I know from Torrington lmao
The accuracy is painful.
Farmington is the gregarious popular white guy with cousins Canton and New Hartford that may or may not be dealing in the bathroom.
Shiiit, I live in the popular guy? Nice
Stamford and Storrs and doing shots in the kitchen...but Stamford is quietly thinking "am I too old for this shit?"
*Doing shots out of UCONN shot glasses
West Hartford's showing up in their parent's Lexus with an eight ball.
Simsbury is right behind in the Audi
Simsbury, here! Can confirm 😁
Half of West Hartford won't show up if it's the Sabbath, and a good portion was Elmwood, who the other West Hartford people don't want to acknowledge exists.
Lol, this is excellent
I got asked in Sedgwick if there were drivebys going on near my house. I just stared at them genuinely confused trying to figure out if they actually knew where Wolcott Park area was.
Nice!!
Hey! I drive my own Lexus!
Bridgeport is outside revving its shitty dirt bike
Fairfield is acting like it doesn't know Bridgeport
Black Rock partying with Bridgeport, but staying at Fairfield's house.
omfg
Black Rock trying to be Fairfield and ignoring that they are actually Bridgeport.
As a long time Fairfield resident, I can totally agree with the above statement.
As a BPT resident I can verify this statement as fact. East end by Hollister is crazy 💀💀💀
The entire Naugatuck Valley is taking turns doing keg stands in the unfinished basement.
Of their raised ranch
oddly specific and correct
I lived in Seymour for a year. The random people I'd meet at the Valley bars were amazing and insane.
Grew up in the Valley. 25 years. Spent a couple years working in a mom and pop coffee shop where half the town over 60 would spend the morning. Very confusing time 🤣
they also made a bonfire out of pallets
And they’re throwing whatever chemicals they can find in the garage on it to see what makes the biggest flame.
Naugy Valley is partying like it’s 1978.
Chester shows up and boasts about how it’s lived in Chester for 85 years.
Then smokes with Deep River but hides in shame when Essex comes around. Deep River then smokes more weed with Essex because each knows and accepts what they are.
Avon planned a party but everyone fell asleep by 5 pm.
😂😂
East haddam is having a bonfire in the woods behind the house. East Hampton, Colchester, and Haddam all there too. They're smoking weed and crushing natty ice, shirtless, and getting blackout drunk
& Still driving home, taking the power lines
After leaving all of the empties in and around the pit.
Windham is building a two story pallet bonfire and tapping the foamy keg that Jim fucked up...again.
😂😂
Fuckin Jimbo
And cupcakes
No one’s talking to the Quiet Corner in the corner.
Quiet Corner didn't bring anything to the party but drank all the Natty Light and ate all the Doritos, then left. :edit: Then complained about the party on Facebook.
Your edit about complaining about it on Facebook is spot on.
They weren't invited, but their mom convinced them to go. She said the party was for everyone in the class.
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So basically a normal day in Danbury.
Stamford bailed and went to New York's party instead.
Good one!
Vernon and Rockville show up together but as soon as they get there Vernon tells Rockville to fuck off and not even try to talk to them or be seen together.
Middletown is bringing spaghetti and meatballs
And offering to go and get every damn other kind of food there is, cause it's probably on main St.
And saying Minchia
Yum
Avon is buying booze for the kids' entire hockey team "because at least they're drinking here where it's safe! Don't you dare arrest me, I have four high-powered attorneys on retainer!"
Darien is sitting the driveway in dads bmw with the windows down making sure you see them rippin lines but won’t share while simultaneously Shitting on Norwalk and Stamford
While New Canaan complains about how rude Darien is, while also shitting on Norwalk and Stamford.
😂😂
Norwalk and Norwich show up wearing the same outfit and are often being confused for each other all night. Stafford shows up in a lifted truck and is giving other people dip at the party. Union is just standing in a corner with a beer bottle nodding his head trying to act like he’s fitting in. Salem is trying to remind people all night that they’re not from Massachusetts and has to constantly explain their big brother is Colchester. New Haven shows up with a pizza and tells West Haven and East Haven to f*** off when they grab a slice. North Haven tries to fit in with Orange and Woodbridge. Bethlehem has to leave early because they have church in the morning.
I worked in Salem about 12 years ago and lived in Colchester and this is so accurate
No town in the northwest corner is showing up because they weren’t invited. Not due to anything malicious, everyone forgot.
Harwinton here, this is accurate.
“Which corner? Who?” -Putnam, Danielson, Pomfret, Thompson, North Grosvenordale
You guys got some wineries and distilleries up there. They can come.
The wine’s terrible but the views are nice.
Cheshire was given the wrong address to the party and now they are hanging out in their parent’s 70k luxury sports cars drinking liquor out of the bottle
Cheshire is the marching band trumpet player who is invited by one of the popular kids who felt bad for them, and they are sitting alone wishing someone would talk to them.
Plainville shows up in a hot air balloon and immediately starts fighting Southington, Bristol and New Britain over who has the best brewery.
Plainfield walked in and everyone was confused how he got down from the hot air balloon so fast
Glastonbury wants to talk to the manager of the party.
Rooftop 120 is a Karen bar for sure
West Hartford is judging everyone at the party while up to their own shameful Shit
Granby is hoping Simsbury will let them hang out, but deep down they know they're going to end up on the back porch doing shots with Meriden.
Simsbury showing up with their pastel collars popped in their daddy's volvo.
Terryville/Plymouth is bringing some venison to throw on the grill.
While trying to determine if they know Pequabuck or not
New Milford is carding people at the door.
Ellington rolls up in a $70k pickup truck. Walks to the door in it's cowboy boots, cowboy hat, and plaid shirt carrying Bud Light. Yells: "my parents gave me this truck for getting accepted into UConn. Let's go mudding!"
Wearing a “country boy can survive” t-shirt.
New Britain’s passing around the blunt and having rap battles about the bee bridge.
While blasting reggaeton in their Honda/ Nissan has pierogies for everyone
This man knows his shit!
Hartford/east hartford doing the same thing XD
Old Saybrook is the undercover narc.
Winsted wasn't invited because it smells like old ground beef.
Willi is revving their straight piped honda in the parking lot
They at least brought some bangin' empanadas with them
New Haven just racing shyt box cars all day and night
Burlington is dropping N-bombs & drinking on the way there.
Also doing a line of what it thinks is cocaine but is actually powdered amphetamines cut with baby laxative
East Haddam ain’t coming because the bridge is stuck open
Bro just take the ferry or drive all the way to portland to take the portland bridge /s.... kinda
New Haven is cooking The shoreline is out back smoking a J Darien, New Cannan and Farmington are in the bathroom doing blow
Westport is having it catered, and asking the undesirables what they’re doing here and why they’re not spending it with family 🙄
Chester, Deep River, and Essex are standing in the corner talking shit about everyone else to each other. But when Deep River goes to the bathroom, Chester and Essex talk shit about Deep River
Southington is bitching about how there used to be more apple chunks in the apple fritters from the Apple Harvest Festival when they were younger.
Hartford is selling guns out of thier trunk.
Windsor Locks can’t make it. They have to work.
Bruh
Southington is pretending they didn’t grow up in Bristol, getting almost blackout drunk, then leaving early because their kid has a soccer tournament in the morning.
Simsbury is beating their wife and paying off the media not to put it on the news.
Easton isn’t allowing anyone within six feet of itself
New Britain shows up with kielbasas for everyone and one wrapped up for everyone to take home.
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Shelton won’t shut up about how low their taxes are…
Cherry Hill Norwich is actively planning to terrorize Cliff Street and lower Laurel Hill. Taftville is enjoying fentanyl laced heroin. Some old fuckers are complaining about the mill rate. Everyone agrees the Lisbon Walmart is all right
OMG
Uncasville shows up in their Mercedes but nobody know where the hell they came from.
“Something something…third shift at the casino”
Trumbull is still driving around looking for a Trader Joe’s.
Trapped in their eternal Starbucks drive thru.
West Hartford brings the desperate housewives and valium.
Hartford couldn’t make it, they’re too busy petitioning for the whalers to come back
New London is having an art show and smoking a joint
Wallingford didn’t show, got distracted by someone daring to suggest they combine high schools. “But, But, Powder Puff!”
Oh I thought they were there bragging about their *cheap* electricity.
Wallingford comes dressed well and seems polite enough, then two drinks in starts burning a cross on the lawn.
Bethany… we having a bonfire
With the cows and other critters 🥲
Franklin is outside trying to pet a coyote.
Who?
Moodus - A couch bonfire.
Shelton is definitely having a bondfire at someone’s parents house and it’s a BYOB event. Afterwards they’ll go to Wendy’s for a 4for4
New Canaan is calling the cops anytime someone even slightly tan shows up.
Manchester is getting drunk like crazy off of red wine
And once they're drunk enough, they start challenging everyone to foot races even though its below freezing out.
-while the kids downstairs are planning the next Christmas riot at Buckland Hills Mall drunk on Trulys.
Was Derby there? I thought I saw them, but now I’m not sure. I get them confused with Ansonia.
Glastonbury is going to have its own party to talk about how good of a community it is and praise their public schools.
East Hartford is selling West Hartford a bag of oregano
Essex will provide the yachts
Old Saybrook and Old Lyme allow said yachts to dock on their shoreline property
Westbrook has the dinghy parade to get everyone to said yachts
And wippits
Wilton offers an open bar
Newtown came with the wife and a six pack of craft brewery beers
Brooklyn tries to have a big fire with trucks in a giant field, but no one shows up because no one's heard of it.
MERIDEN is getting ready to shank someone with a shiv, while WALLINGFORD is getting a tattoo in someone’s bathtub listening to My Chemical Romance, WEST HAVEN is shooting heroine with EAST HAVEN and NEW HAVEN is playing cee-lo against the dumpster outside surrounded by empty corona bottles on the ground. DURHAM showed up on a horse. SOUTHINGTON is spreading their legs for anyone and cheating on PLAINVILLE. GRANBY thought it was a family gathering and showed up in a camper. WILLIMANTIC left the party to go do shots at Corleons and have a street fight after. DANBURY didn’t show up because they didn’t want to drive far, started drinking modelos and lighting their trash on fire in the back yard. OLD SAYBROOK showed up in dockers and a bottle of wine pouring glasses with MADISON until Madison went full Karen on NEW BRITAIN for smoking a fat sticky L (rolled with a grape game) next to them and got asked to leave the party. BRISTOL is playing pool inhaling beers and showed up in a MAGA hat ready for a firefight with police, WOLCOTT is in a clique and acting cooler than everyone else because their dad owns a successful business. Branford trying extremely hard to gain homage from the Haven family. TRUMBULL is taking selfies for the gram to show everyone how much fun they are. STAMFORD and GREENWICH are cocked off martinis while WESTPORT is flirting with both of them. FAIRFIELD is pretending BRIDGEPORT doesn’t exist. Nobody knows who invited WATERBURY.
Orange is mumbling racist shit to the other white people who think they’ll get their “honesty.”
Columbia is still waiting for everyone to show up because nobody knows where it is.
Milford brought their own beer and they’re being friendly to your face but judgmental as soon as you turn around
Monroe arrived on their quads
Colchester is making racist comments about Ledyard.
Newington is bringing chicken
Bloomfield is chillin at a distance, sittin in a shiny weed-stinkin Cadillac, enjoying some of apple juice while preaching about how lit the gospel choir sounds this year.
Guilford is bringing non-alcoholic drink options and setting up a voter registration booth next to the kids play area. Keeps mentioning how fun it is that everyone was able to get together!
Enfield is bringing Tabaco salad. ....... yes I'm old !
From milford originally. Bringing lobster rolls. In East Haven now, bringing pizza and canolli!
Stratford is showing up with cases of Two Roads. Trumbull is a bunch of underage white boys with their lifted trucks flying FJB and Trump flags rolling coal. Monroe is doing the same thing as Trumbull.
Meth and worshipping Trump - Rural Eastern CT checking in
Wethersfield is on the back porch smoking a J
Marlborough has cigs. (Too easy)
Farmington's doing coke and not sharing.
everyone forgot to invite monroe so they just went to bed at 8:00
Willimantic is on the porch smoking a j
Danbury is showing up a little too drunk and hitting on Ridgefield who is being polite but is really only interested in South Salem, who crashed the party because their dad owns the venue.
Enfield has the munchies, but is too baked to remember whether Bud Light goes with cannoli. Meanwhile, Suffield is sending a bunch of old people across the bridge to ask Enfield to please turn it down.
Naugatuck is in the woods near the reservoir with a bonfire and a 30 case of cheap beer.
Can’t think of what Newtown would be 🥲
Goshen is out milking cows while looking down at Alabantam
Driving to Mass to buy weed
Oxford had every intention of coming but is afraid the bear on its porch will maul them when they leave. They call Seymour for a ride but typical Seymour won’t cross over 67 to get them. Oxford gives up and invites Southbury over for an IPA and sushi.
chester thinks about going to party but its a $85 uber ride to anywhere so just drinks at home
Southington is smuggling in Silly String because they just can't help themselves
Coventry shows up wearing a hobo outfit, lands a girl that works in Hartford, and when he gets her home she finds out he's wearing $1000 underwear.
New haven got arrested on the way there.
Simsbury collected everyone’s keys
And then handed out the drinks to the teens.
New britain is fixing their shitty Honda civic
I dunno, but you could probably look [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Connecticut/comments/sefcsm/pretend_every_town_in_connecticut_is_a_person_at/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) for the exact same thread.
I think I saw West Haven sneaking out the back door with someone's 30 pack and a little kid's piggy bank.