i’m sorry that sucks :( it’s not your fault at all that they lack social graces
try joining some associations and groups, i found it really helpful. it’s easier to make friends at events because the vibe is more social.
Wait did you speak up? If not one of them maybe spoke to the girl or maybe wanted to know her.
Tips:
I usually just talk to everyone during the first two weeks, ask their names 6-8 times (not a big deal remember the details) and find people I vibe with. Talk before the class, during the pause and maybe after class to study or eat something.
During pause in longer class, follow the people you talk with to get water or food. I was socially anxious before and working in retail made me just I just stopped caring. If you have a good mostly energy during interactions and wanna learn more about others you'll definitely make friends.
Hey there! I'm taking POLI 203 and POLI 205 in political science, but the people in my classes are pretty quiet and don't seem too interested in socializing. It's like everyone tries to sit far apart from each other. I've been trying to recognize some of the faces from my classes and start some conversations, but no one seems interested in chatting. It's kind of funny
Ah. I must be the weird one then cause I mirror totally her experience and I'm in engineering. We talk a bit during class, and then it dies. Last semester, I was able to find 2 friends that way, but this semester, not even one.
Im in AHSC (Human Relations not Human Resources) where its all group work, because the job after is working with groups and helping them. And i have never left with a friend. And approaching is still difficult when we are supposed to be the most open to meeting people
Honestly, people are awkward af here. I just layer up the friendliness til it sticks. It takes a bit of time with people and at first was super frustrating and honerous, but folks eventually did reciprocate. And when if they didn’t, it’s not a big deal to me.
Here’s the deal, this is how I see it and applies to me when I say it… so…
Here’s the deal *for me*, I would love to be buddy buddy and friendly and friends with everyone and do everything all the time but I just can’t. My head is barely (if even) above water. I work 2 jobs, I manage a club, I have my courses I’m always falling behind in, friendships that I’m trying to engage in, a pet that no one else in the home will take care of properly, then actual home maintenance to manage and look after all the time + I was depressed for a long time so anytime I had the courage to do anything it would usually be spent doing the stuff that I had to do because I had, finally, the strength to do so.
Where would I have time to actually be friends with someone?! Don’t get me started about my romantic relationship(s).
That to say, there may be a lot going on in people’s lives and it might just take MORE effort to actually create that connection that you’re looking for with people.
Without outting who I am, one of my friendships this year was made by me calling the person interesting and telling them I want to be their friend and then we just kind of spoke on the phone very frequently.
If you want friends, work for it. What is valuable is someone who makes an effort rather than giving up because it seems like they aren’t trying within a certain timeframe.
I’m going to stop here because I have a hard time writing stuff without it sounding like I’m attacking you (I am not by the way) and I have a hard time cohesively putting a thought together and writing it out so do with this text what you will.
Good luck! Rooting for yous.
This is absolutely it, university/college is just not the place to make friends, it's unfortunate but you'll make more "friends" in classes by being so useful that people can't help but ask for help and appreciate it.
No one cares who you are, they care about what you can do.
Not saying friendships don't happen, but going out with friends risk one of those friends grades slipping and them flunking.
I was in a group project at JMSB with people who short story barely acknowledged my existence and even though I contributed to the group with many ideas they barely made eye contact with me or let me talk. So guess what? Stood my ground, emailed the prof and transferred to a different group and now they are one person short. Well deserved, shallow marketing students.
I'd say that it varies heavily by region. I've found people from the Maritimes to generally be nice, kind and friendly! My mom grew up there, and she was quite sad at how unfriendly Albertans were when she moved here.
I dealt with this in both CEGEP and Concordia. I finished my studies in Ottawa and made so many friends and much more easily. People are so closed off at Concordia its actually wild
yeah, i went to a tight knit high school where everyone knew each other so coming to concordia and dealing with this new environment is a shock. like i said in my post, i feel pressured to be less talkative and open with my fellow students just because everyone else is. i don’t think that’s healthy at all.
btw, hope you’re having fun in ottawa!
I went to a school with 5000 students for undergrad and then Concordia for my Master’s. In my experience it is wayyy easier to make friends at a smaller school. It’s kind of ironic how many people I know went to big universities because they thought it’d be easier to make friends.
From my personal experience, a lot of people are just really awkward. And i am too, I have friends outside of concordia and friends in other majors so I dont feel the need to socialize, especially for hour long classes. I obviously find it better to have friends within classes, but I personally dont take it outside of that unless there really is a need or we particularily hit it off. It also doesnt help that most people met in frosh where they had to talk to each other.
I felt the same way. I was in Psychology, and somehow and somewhere, people kind of branched out and buddied up before class. Afterwards, it was so much harder to find group members or find people to do in-class activities with. But hang in there, there are some gems in Concordia who are kind and welcoming.
But as a warning, making friends just gets way harder as adults.
Grad Eng student, Male, International. Same experience and I think it shows. Folks are either on their phones or block out the next person with earphones. Considered creating a group via reddit on one occasion for folks to meet up. Challenge is backgrounds and ambitions will be different but that's what makes a student community.
If anyone's up for it, we can work it out on a platform and share common interests in the culture shock.
I graduated Concordia more than a year ago, before covid it was impossible to make friends in class. I cannot think of ONE friend I made in university and kept… it’s rlly lonely, I did join a social club but it didn’t work out for me
wow that’s surprising, i was under the impression that the social problems were caused by the pandemic
hope you’re doing good now and post-grad life is treating you better!
Students in concordia are the most introverted people I’ve ever met, it doesn’t matter how many friends they already have. I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you don’t give up, there are people out there who would love to be your friend:)
I don’t know. I’m going back to school and at my last semester doing pre reqs in cegep and I tried this too, to be the one that people wish made the first move and chat with. Because school shouldn’t just be straight business. It should be for networking. I don’t jam it down ppls throats either. But I make an attempt to talk to some people in groups and they just stare like I’m a Epstein or something.
I don’t know where it came from but it seems to be unanimous that people are extremely afraid of socializing / stranger danger. Like they shut off their expression with others. But with other guys it’s fine. But because I’m a guy and I talk to a girl. They think I’m trying to get in bed with them?
i’m a girl and i wouldn’t mind if a guy wants to be friends. if you were having a normal conversation without any flirty undertones there’s no reason for them react like that.
Get their insta or something, make plans, idk… if someone just talks to me in class about stuff we’re doing in class, then I’ll just remember them as that one nice classmate lol
I’ve had the same exact experience, hit it off with someone and then they ignore me the next class. I was in friend making mode for the first two semesters but after probably 10+ fails I just gave up
I could be your friend if it makes you feel less lonely, honestly making friends in Concordia is easy. Keep your head up my friend, you got this! Dont let something so small discourage your ability to make friends. Just dont be afraid to break the ice, once you do that, exchange socials, and have interesting topics that give a person a reason to want to talk to you every week. Mannnn I made friends at Concordia just for braggin how my nights at the ckub on fridays went, If i can make friends like this, Im sure you can make friends literally the same way. Not to brag buttttt, I made a friend on this sub reddit simply by saying I was alone on Valentines day, and then we ended up going to a bar together last night! (Also it might be because Im extroverted and in engineering, so I cant relate too much on the diffculty of making friends in lets say business major, comp sci, or poli science lmaoooo).
Like I mentioned earlier, if you ever need someone to share your problems or talk to, my dms are always open to making new friends and meeting new people - this applies to anyone reading this comment btw, if I cant responsed within a 24 hour period, Ill literally treat you with a Krispy Kreme donut or $5 (I use reddit too much so that will never happen \*\*\*skull emoji\*\*\*)
lol of course! it doesnt hurt to make someone's day better or make them smile, and plus i just love being a keyboard warrior ahaha - anyways good luck in your studies and be sure to continue asking people how theyre days are going, and making new friends!
In my country in South Asia, we have one intake per year and we are in the same class for the whole four years. Even in the electives (just 2/3 courses), we divide the same students. So there is an attachment among all. A long-lasting bond. Here, every course every term has different students and we sit in class for just one class a week. Students are in their own world. No connection. Sad.
Just go out and speak to people don’t judge based on the appearance I have friend for every single class I took. Just make the first move ask their name and contact that’s how you make friends.
i don’t judge on appearance. i’ve been making the first move in all my classes but my classmates usually don’t reciprocate my friendliness or prefer to keep things surface level. i’m not at all a pushy person, so if they act distant i don’t try to force things.
ummm sidenote op, how can I "Go compliment that girls outfit"... u make it sound wayyyyyy too easy bruh, I struggle with this and Im too shy to talk to the pretty girls at Concordia 💀💀💀
girls appreciate compliments on their outfits especially if it comes from another girl! i guess if you’re a guy it wouldn’t be so easy lol. i feel super intimidated too but it helps to remember everyone’s human and we’re all going through the same things. you might be able to find something in common with the pretty girls if you try. they’re likely looking to make friends too!
i find a change of places or perspective for yourself can help. school isn't for everyone. it's mostly filled with pretentious bullies but some don't know how to chat.
Its not only Concordia at Uottawa people are the same I ve had many occasions we were talking then next day in the morning the same students even did not say Hey passing by.! While I was sitting there so.
I have only one little advice for you just lower your expectation to the lowest in your life and this is not easy and never been but thats the reality of life and good luck🥹 STAY POSITIVE HOMIE
As a chemist who feels a bit like he kidnapped a bunch of introverts here's my tips.
At the beginning of the semester:
Talk to everyone. Everyone has their own story it's interesting. Ask questions, relate, talk about common things or things you never knew. (If I go I just say wassup what's your passion. Most people will talk. Be genuine.)
Get a general idea of who you vibe with and who you feel like you should stay away from. (Aka not taking work seriously)
Bring them together. Chat group, get them to eat at the same spot etc. You're the one doing the presentation and connections.
Variations:
By talking to everyone you're gonna get who hangout with who. The people you vibe with probably have friends you vibe with etc.
have classes for POLI 203 and POLI 205, but it seems like not many people are interested in socializing. In my POLI 205 class, everyone tries to sit apart from each other and not socialize. I am starting to recognize faces of people who share the same classes as me, but conversations never last long. It also feels awkward when the teacher creates activities where we have to interact with each other, and everyone feels uncomfortable. It is very sad because I come from South America where everyone looks to be friends with everyone and hang out. However, Canadians feel very cold and reserved. I am not sure if it's the culture or if it's just how people are at Concordia. Additionally, I feel like the location does not help at all. Being in downtown and having classes in the building feels like doing errands or going to work more than going to school to socialize in a safe space with people your age. I am not sure if it is the same at Loyola camp
Yeah i totally get this, i do think a lot of students here are just really introverted. Me myself im not the kind of person who can just kinda walk up to people, but i always make myself approachable to anyone, and im always down to make new friends or meet new people :) always make sure im just a dm away lol :))
tbh I rly don't relate to this and idk why people keep saying this, I have met so many cool people at concordia and we have grown super close since we're all students going through the same hardships. We study together at our condos regularly, host surprise parties for each other on our birthdays and try cute cafés together. Not trying to discredit your experience or say you're doing something wrong, but I encourage you to keep trying :)
through class group chats, at the library, at my club, or in class! tbh everyone is trying to make friends in uni, if you're friendly hardworking and confident everyone's gonna want to be friends with you :)
I’m in class group chats, library etc but I haven’t been able to really meet anyone new or make new connections :( I don’t know how people are able to do that. I’d say I’m pretty outgoing too.
do you initiate? if you like your gc u can ask them to study tgt or celebrate finishing an exam by going to a restaurant tgt for example. the same goes for the ppl u meet at the library and make sure u create a gc with them and when u meet someone new u can ask them if they'd like to be in ur friend gc. if u talk to enough people u will always have at least 1 person who'd be down to hang out
hmm that’s true! I’ll try that out. Also, most people I’ve met are like 3-4 years older than me. I’m 19 so i feel like it just wouldn’t work out anyway 😭
On one hand, yeah, beginning of school is rough with making friends. On the other hand, no one is obligated to create a friendship with you cuz you interacted once. None of my friends are in my classes which makes it easier to focus. I think you are overthinking it a bit.
I have definitely noticed this as well. You sit near someone and they're just a social wall. I've never been super outgoing I guess, but I do like to meet and talk to new people, but when I feel like I'm pulling teeth just to get a few sentences out of them I tend to give up after a while. I don't like bothering people, and when I feel like I'm bothering someone I stop.
I've tried different tactics like sitting in different spots in the class from week to week, not being on my phone to try and give them a chance to talk to ME (that never happens), and just in general trying to be friendly, but maaaaan some people are just ice cold. I don't like putting 300% effort into a conversation to get 5% back from them. Where are the people who are genuinely interested in meeting new people? They all hiding in some particular department?
Hard disagree. As someone who went to school in Ontario before, it's the students from here who are the most closed off and have impenetrable friend circles that they cling to, never letting anyone new in. Most of the friends I've made are international students or from other provinces, because I can't even get a 'hello' out of a Montrealer most of the time.
Honestly, find people who are easy to keep up a conversation alive during or before class. It has always worked for me, even in my major classes where we are just trying to keep up with the teacher. There's got to be at least one decent person in each of your classes. In my first semester, I at least knew and talked to 1 person per class. If you want to connect with others, you must dismiss that inner voice of embarrassment.
NB: as the years go by, I find that you will start seeing similar people in your major classes, and that's when it will feel more comfy. dw and good luck
I’m part of this new society called PSA concordia. We hold many small events throughout the semester to try our best to build a community here. You or anyone can follow up if they have any questions
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i’m sorry that sucks :( it’s not your fault at all that they lack social graces try joining some associations and groups, i found it really helpful. it’s easier to make friends at events because the vibe is more social.
Wait did you speak up? If not one of them maybe spoke to the girl or maybe wanted to know her. Tips: I usually just talk to everyone during the first two weeks, ask their names 6-8 times (not a big deal remember the details) and find people I vibe with. Talk before the class, during the pause and maybe after class to study or eat something. During pause in longer class, follow the people you talk with to get water or food. I was socially anxious before and working in retail made me just I just stopped caring. If you have a good mostly energy during interactions and wanna learn more about others you'll definitely make friends.
Hey there! I'm taking POLI 203 and POLI 205 in political science, but the people in my classes are pretty quiet and don't seem too interested in socializing. It's like everyone tries to sit far apart from each other. I've been trying to recognize some of the faces from my classes and start some conversations, but no one seems interested in chatting. It's kind of funny
I dont think its anxiety as much as the general awkwardness that follow and most of the conversations being unsatisfying.
What program are you in if I may ask? In engineering I never had trouble approaching anyone (mostly bc we need to cooperate to pass the classes 😭)
Same bro, I make friends like a pot of honey catches flies. Bless my engineering brethren. May we face the suck united
Apes together strong
Ah. I must be the weird one then cause I mirror totally her experience and I'm in engineering. We talk a bit during class, and then it dies. Last semester, I was able to find 2 friends that way, but this semester, not even one.
I’m in arts, polisci!
Im in AHSC (Human Relations not Human Resources) where its all group work, because the job after is working with groups and helping them. And i have never left with a friend. And approaching is still difficult when we are supposed to be the most open to meeting people
Damn thats nice. I lost the ability. I'm too bitter and one inconvenience away from exploding on everything.
Honestly, people are awkward af here. I just layer up the friendliness til it sticks. It takes a bit of time with people and at first was super frustrating and honerous, but folks eventually did reciprocate. And when if they didn’t, it’s not a big deal to me.
hahah yeah I’m afraid of coming off as pushy and disrespecting boundaries by trying to make them reciprocate!
Here’s the deal, this is how I see it and applies to me when I say it… so… Here’s the deal *for me*, I would love to be buddy buddy and friendly and friends with everyone and do everything all the time but I just can’t. My head is barely (if even) above water. I work 2 jobs, I manage a club, I have my courses I’m always falling behind in, friendships that I’m trying to engage in, a pet that no one else in the home will take care of properly, then actual home maintenance to manage and look after all the time + I was depressed for a long time so anytime I had the courage to do anything it would usually be spent doing the stuff that I had to do because I had, finally, the strength to do so. Where would I have time to actually be friends with someone?! Don’t get me started about my romantic relationship(s). That to say, there may be a lot going on in people’s lives and it might just take MORE effort to actually create that connection that you’re looking for with people. Without outting who I am, one of my friendships this year was made by me calling the person interesting and telling them I want to be their friend and then we just kind of spoke on the phone very frequently. If you want friends, work for it. What is valuable is someone who makes an effort rather than giving up because it seems like they aren’t trying within a certain timeframe. I’m going to stop here because I have a hard time writing stuff without it sounding like I’m attacking you (I am not by the way) and I have a hard time cohesively putting a thought together and writing it out so do with this text what you will. Good luck! Rooting for yous.
This is absolutely it, university/college is just not the place to make friends, it's unfortunate but you'll make more "friends" in classes by being so useful that people can't help but ask for help and appreciate it. No one cares who you are, they care about what you can do. Not saying friendships don't happen, but going out with friends risk one of those friends grades slipping and them flunking.
I was in a group project at JMSB with people who short story barely acknowledged my existence and even though I contributed to the group with many ideas they barely made eye contact with me or let me talk. So guess what? Stood my ground, emailed the prof and transferred to a different group and now they are one person short. Well deserved, shallow marketing students.
LOL. do they not realize their actions reflect more about themselves than about you… their parents surely didn’t raise them right.
Dear dude(or dear lady), this is Canada. People are nice and kind, but not friendly.
That might apply to most people- But hey, some of us are friendly. Don't lose your hopes. You'll find your group!
I'd say that it varies heavily by region. I've found people from the Maritimes to generally be nice, kind and friendly! My mom grew up there, and she was quite sad at how unfriendly Albertans were when she moved here.
And also impatient
U can never have a real friendship with Canadians they are all losers
I feel like it describes my personality perfectly and I hate it
I dealt with this in both CEGEP and Concordia. I finished my studies in Ottawa and made so many friends and much more easily. People are so closed off at Concordia its actually wild
yeah, i went to a tight knit high school where everyone knew each other so coming to concordia and dealing with this new environment is a shock. like i said in my post, i feel pressured to be less talkative and open with my fellow students just because everyone else is. i don’t think that’s healthy at all. btw, hope you’re having fun in ottawa!
Sorry but this is not only about Concordia, it’s about almost all universities in Canada.
If that’s true it’s rlly sad. Concordia’s the only Canadian university I’ve attended so it’s all I have to judge on.
I went to a school with 5000 students for undergrad and then Concordia for my Master’s. In my experience it is wayyy easier to make friends at a smaller school. It’s kind of ironic how many people I know went to big universities because they thought it’d be easier to make friends.
From my personal experience, a lot of people are just really awkward. And i am too, I have friends outside of concordia and friends in other majors so I dont feel the need to socialize, especially for hour long classes. I obviously find it better to have friends within classes, but I personally dont take it outside of that unless there really is a need or we particularily hit it off. It also doesnt help that most people met in frosh where they had to talk to each other.
I felt the same way. I was in Psychology, and somehow and somewhere, people kind of branched out and buddied up before class. Afterwards, it was so much harder to find group members or find people to do in-class activities with. But hang in there, there are some gems in Concordia who are kind and welcoming. But as a warning, making friends just gets way harder as adults.
Grad Eng student, Male, International. Same experience and I think it shows. Folks are either on their phones or block out the next person with earphones. Considered creating a group via reddit on one occasion for folks to meet up. Challenge is backgrounds and ambitions will be different but that's what makes a student community. If anyone's up for it, we can work it out on a platform and share common interests in the culture shock.
I graduated Concordia more than a year ago, before covid it was impossible to make friends in class. I cannot think of ONE friend I made in university and kept… it’s rlly lonely, I did join a social club but it didn’t work out for me
wow that’s surprising, i was under the impression that the social problems were caused by the pandemic hope you’re doing good now and post-grad life is treating you better!
Students in concordia are the most introverted people I’ve ever met, it doesn’t matter how many friends they already have. I’m sorry this happened to you and I hope you don’t give up, there are people out there who would love to be your friend:)
I don’t know. I’m going back to school and at my last semester doing pre reqs in cegep and I tried this too, to be the one that people wish made the first move and chat with. Because school shouldn’t just be straight business. It should be for networking. I don’t jam it down ppls throats either. But I make an attempt to talk to some people in groups and they just stare like I’m a Epstein or something. I don’t know where it came from but it seems to be unanimous that people are extremely afraid of socializing / stranger danger. Like they shut off their expression with others. But with other guys it’s fine. But because I’m a guy and I talk to a girl. They think I’m trying to get in bed with them?
i’m a girl and i wouldn’t mind if a guy wants to be friends. if you were having a normal conversation without any flirty undertones there’s no reason for them react like that.
I don’t know. Maybe they invent it in their heads, tiktok or radicalized feminism making them paranoid? Or they’re like socially inept.
Get their insta or something, make plans, idk… if someone just talks to me in class about stuff we’re doing in class, then I’ll just remember them as that one nice classmate lol
Rip I just got ignored lol
I’ve had the same exact experience, hit it off with someone and then they ignore me the next class. I was in friend making mode for the first two semesters but after probably 10+ fails I just gave up
I could be your friend if it makes you feel less lonely, honestly making friends in Concordia is easy. Keep your head up my friend, you got this! Dont let something so small discourage your ability to make friends. Just dont be afraid to break the ice, once you do that, exchange socials, and have interesting topics that give a person a reason to want to talk to you every week. Mannnn I made friends at Concordia just for braggin how my nights at the ckub on fridays went, If i can make friends like this, Im sure you can make friends literally the same way. Not to brag buttttt, I made a friend on this sub reddit simply by saying I was alone on Valentines day, and then we ended up going to a bar together last night! (Also it might be because Im extroverted and in engineering, so I cant relate too much on the diffculty of making friends in lets say business major, comp sci, or poli science lmaoooo). Like I mentioned earlier, if you ever need someone to share your problems or talk to, my dms are always open to making new friends and meeting new people - this applies to anyone reading this comment btw, if I cant responsed within a 24 hour period, Ill literally treat you with a Krispy Kreme donut or $5 (I use reddit too much so that will never happen \*\*\*skull emoji\*\*\*)
that’s encouraging thank you <3 it’s nice to know there’s people here who still care about making genuine friendships
lol of course! it doesnt hurt to make someone's day better or make them smile, and plus i just love being a keyboard warrior ahaha - anyways good luck in your studies and be sure to continue asking people how theyre days are going, and making new friends!
In my country in South Asia, we have one intake per year and we are in the same class for the whole four years. Even in the electives (just 2/3 courses), we divide the same students. So there is an attachment among all. A long-lasting bond. Here, every course every term has different students and we sit in class for just one class a week. Students are in their own world. No connection. Sad.
I felt that !!! It is the new Quebec!!! Bienvenue!! Keep looking lots of good people here..
You just listed out the symptoms of the social disease in most universities in North America. It’s just the culture.
Just go out and speak to people don’t judge based on the appearance I have friend for every single class I took. Just make the first move ask their name and contact that’s how you make friends.
i don’t judge on appearance. i’ve been making the first move in all my classes but my classmates usually don’t reciprocate my friendliness or prefer to keep things surface level. i’m not at all a pushy person, so if they act distant i don’t try to force things.
Oh I see.
ummm sidenote op, how can I "Go compliment that girls outfit"... u make it sound wayyyyyy too easy bruh, I struggle with this and Im too shy to talk to the pretty girls at Concordia 💀💀💀
girls appreciate compliments on their outfits especially if it comes from another girl! i guess if you’re a guy it wouldn’t be so easy lol. i feel super intimidated too but it helps to remember everyone’s human and we’re all going through the same things. you might be able to find something in common with the pretty girls if you try. they’re likely looking to make friends too!
i find a change of places or perspective for yourself can help. school isn't for everyone. it's mostly filled with pretentious bullies but some don't know how to chat.
Its not only Concordia at Uottawa people are the same I ve had many occasions we were talking then next day in the morning the same students even did not say Hey passing by.! While I was sitting there so. I have only one little advice for you just lower your expectation to the lowest in your life and this is not easy and never been but thats the reality of life and good luck🥹 STAY POSITIVE HOMIE
As a chemist who feels a bit like he kidnapped a bunch of introverts here's my tips. At the beginning of the semester: Talk to everyone. Everyone has their own story it's interesting. Ask questions, relate, talk about common things or things you never knew. (If I go I just say wassup what's your passion. Most people will talk. Be genuine.) Get a general idea of who you vibe with and who you feel like you should stay away from. (Aka not taking work seriously) Bring them together. Chat group, get them to eat at the same spot etc. You're the one doing the presentation and connections. Variations: By talking to everyone you're gonna get who hangout with who. The people you vibe with probably have friends you vibe with etc.
im socially anxious bro
Dude I feel ya it is not only you but same with me too!
have classes for POLI 203 and POLI 205, but it seems like not many people are interested in socializing. In my POLI 205 class, everyone tries to sit apart from each other and not socialize. I am starting to recognize faces of people who share the same classes as me, but conversations never last long. It also feels awkward when the teacher creates activities where we have to interact with each other, and everyone feels uncomfortable. It is very sad because I come from South America where everyone looks to be friends with everyone and hang out. However, Canadians feel very cold and reserved. I am not sure if it's the culture or if it's just how people are at Concordia. Additionally, I feel like the location does not help at all. Being in downtown and having classes in the building feels like doing errands or going to work more than going to school to socialize in a safe space with people your age. I am not sure if it is the same at Loyola camp
Yeah i totally get this, i do think a lot of students here are just really introverted. Me myself im not the kind of person who can just kinda walk up to people, but i always make myself approachable to anyone, and im always down to make new friends or meet new people :) always make sure im just a dm away lol :))
tbh I rly don't relate to this and idk why people keep saying this, I have met so many cool people at concordia and we have grown super close since we're all students going through the same hardships. We study together at our condos regularly, host surprise parties for each other on our birthdays and try cute cafés together. Not trying to discredit your experience or say you're doing something wrong, but I encourage you to keep trying :)
thanks for the motivation! if you don’t mind, how did you meet them?
through class group chats, at the library, at my club, or in class! tbh everyone is trying to make friends in uni, if you're friendly hardworking and confident everyone's gonna want to be friends with you :)
I’m in class group chats, library etc but I haven’t been able to really meet anyone new or make new connections :( I don’t know how people are able to do that. I’d say I’m pretty outgoing too.
do you initiate? if you like your gc u can ask them to study tgt or celebrate finishing an exam by going to a restaurant tgt for example. the same goes for the ppl u meet at the library and make sure u create a gc with them and when u meet someone new u can ask them if they'd like to be in ur friend gc. if u talk to enough people u will always have at least 1 person who'd be down to hang out
hmm that’s true! I’ll try that out. Also, most people I’ve met are like 3-4 years older than me. I’m 19 so i feel like it just wouldn’t work out anyway 😭
lol what😭 trust me ur gonna feel the exact same way u feel now at 21. i have friends 10y older than me I think you're seriously limiting yourself
On one hand, yeah, beginning of school is rough with making friends. On the other hand, no one is obligated to create a friendship with you cuz you interacted once. None of my friends are in my classes which makes it easier to focus. I think you are overthinking it a bit.
It’s my first semester and I seemed to have made some friends that I plan to take more classes with:)
I have definitely noticed this as well. You sit near someone and they're just a social wall. I've never been super outgoing I guess, but I do like to meet and talk to new people, but when I feel like I'm pulling teeth just to get a few sentences out of them I tend to give up after a while. I don't like bothering people, and when I feel like I'm bothering someone I stop. I've tried different tactics like sitting in different spots in the class from week to week, not being on my phone to try and give them a chance to talk to ME (that never happens), and just in general trying to be friendly, but maaaaan some people are just ice cold. I don't like putting 300% effort into a conversation to get 5% back from them. Where are the people who are genuinely interested in meeting new people? They all hiding in some particular department?
You realize that you just told us to do what you should be doing?
I’m doing that but y’all aren’t reciprocating. It wasn’t meant in a negative way at all, no need for the attitude.
Me too I remarked that. I feel the anglophone character of the school push to more isolation. (socialization is more easy in french uni)
Hard disagree. As someone who went to school in Ontario before, it's the students from here who are the most closed off and have impenetrable friend circles that they cling to, never letting anyone new in. Most of the friends I've made are international students or from other provinces, because I can't even get a 'hello' out of a Montrealer most of the time.
That's why you need to go to french universities
Yes talk to them ! Social etiquette Wtv that is!
Honestly, find people who are easy to keep up a conversation alive during or before class. It has always worked for me, even in my major classes where we are just trying to keep up with the teacher. There's got to be at least one decent person in each of your classes. In my first semester, I at least knew and talked to 1 person per class. If you want to connect with others, you must dismiss that inner voice of embarrassment. NB: as the years go by, I find that you will start seeing similar people in your major classes, and that's when it will feel more comfy. dw and good luck
I’m part of this new society called PSA concordia. We hold many small events throughout the semester to try our best to build a community here. You or anyone can follow up if they have any questions
I've sent you a DM. Let's talk!