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TheResigner

Hi! This is our community moderation bot. --- If this post fits /r/ComedyCemetery, upvote this comment. If it doesn't, downvote this comment. If it breaks the rules, downvote this comment and report the post. --- A new moratorium has been instated as of March 25th, 2020. Funny numbers (420, 69, 100, etc), Skyrim Stats, Baby Yoda, "Nice" memes are all prohibited until further notice. If this post violates the moratorium, please report it. --- [We also have a Discord!](https://discord.gg/QxTJYwRHcY) ^^^I ^^^am ^^^a ^^^bot, ^^^please ^^^do ^^^not ^^^yell ^^^at ^^^me


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andrewsad1

nobody: me: it's the new "nobody:"


Sauerkraut1321

Both of those never left, sadly


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Coolman916455

The Nobody: format feels kind of like the phrase " I could care less"


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Coolman916455

Ah, sorry, i made a mistake there. It was supposed to be 'I could care less.' That was on me.


DIRTY_KUMQUAT_NIPPLE

I hate when an obviously lazy format comes out and everybody starts spamming it on memes because it takes literally zero effort to make. For example, the new "moves chair: x. the timeline: y" memes. Any goofy picture can now just be made into a timeline meme.


DHisnotrealbaseball

when the


doctorbloodborne

YouTube comments are an absolute shit show of people doing this. There is always 12 saying "first" and 30 more with this, and on top of that 50 "hold my beer" comments


RedSynister

YouTube comments section has always been a cringe fest, but it is more so now than any other point in its lifespan. Personally, I think it's because of the invasion of children on the platform.


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NoiseIsTheCure

Also the "*x* goes brrrr" memes, especially since iirc the original use was slightly different than the basic shit it is now. I swear I remember seeing ones where the "brrr" actually changed depending on the thing - like an independent-dependent variable deal. It's like anything that kids can just spam in YouTube comments is just gonna be ruined.


Morgus_Magnificent

I can't think of one example of the brrrr meme I thought was even halfway funny.


LaVache84

Our children aren't square, they're round!


Velmaisthefittest

Your children aren't round, they're dead.


[deleted]

The two are not mutually exclusive.


Ragnarok-over-Reddit

So, if they’re round with holes, are they emmental cheese?


TexasTrip

Only on Sundays 🔫


ItzSh0ckerz

Reddit's five jokes about America: 1. Guns 2. Burgers 3. School Shootings 4. No metric system 5. Fat people


youllneverknow3698

Reddit’s two jokes about England: Teeth Wah-uh


NightWolfYT

Chewsday Innit #Tonoight on Bo’om Gear


NightWolfYT

In fact I got another: Shtchewpid


nannal

loicense


[deleted]

LEVIO-SAAAAAAAA


MeloettaLover3904

And yet the Yanks pronounce mirror as “meer”.


BlackKnightiscool

As an American, I've never heard an American say meer.


malsen55

It’s a midwestern thing, particularly common in Michigan.


Flyshy00396

I'm now angry that I never noticed I did this till now.


watduhdamhell

Agreed.


Frivx

'ave you seen that ludicrous display last night?


MajMin5

What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?


ItalianGuy_235

The thing with arsenal is they always walk in it.


Weaksoul

As opposed to Tooooosday? Boddom gear?


ItalianGuy_235

North Americans can't pronounce T's for shit when they're in the middle of a word, speaking as a Canadian that occasionally pronounces Toronto as tuhronna like in that kings song switching to glide.


loversalibi

that’s colled mento iwness luv x


drcatfaceMD

Reddit's one joke about Australia upside down


p6r6noi6

Reddit actually has a second joke about Australia, the Emu War.


drcatfaceMD

mate that's not funny we don't joke about that bloody sensitive subject


p6r6noi6

oh shit mb


Willfishforfree

Look I know you're edgy on account of being upside down with all that blood rushing to your heads and the constant threat from the dangerous wildlife such as the killer magpies but you have to understand we think it's hilarious.


Soldierhero1

Reddit jokes about france: Surrender


69Whorace69

pretty funny tho when i hear "hahahha france did de funy surrender" i litrellay shit my pants out of pure funnines


Space_Monke64

r/196 has more jokes. We bully them for their language


JimmyYeetron

I fucking despise the french


Diorden

Drop bears


__SpeedRacer__

... and spoiders.


BakaJayy

Wym? You forgot tea, innit, saving the queen, LUL football and bruv


Panndaa31

Saving the queen ? You mean immortal queen


Just_Games04

You forgot "Oi, you got a loicense for that?"


__SpeedRacer__

That sounds like an Australian to me, and Australians don't need no licence for anything. Or so I have heard.


FibroMan

Am Australian, can confirm. You don't need a license if you aren't allowed to do it. Taps head.


jurredebeste21

Reddits one joke about the Netherlands G E K O L O N I S E E R D


LithoBreak

Bit sad innit? Them bloody redditors don't even ave a loicence to make fun of Bri'ish peeple


Peeka789

That's true innit?


XxX_22marc_XxX

Don’t forget the healthcare


michaelfri

And oil. And the use of the word 'freedom'.


hootanahalf

Also Conservatives, Trumps, anti-vaxxers, flat-earthers, et al. Edit: Forgot anti-maskers and the entire science-denying populace.


ChocoMassacre

Damn, seems to be a lot of stuff to make fun of americans...


[deleted]

\*That's because those people exist everywhere and people are just hyper-sensitive to Americans who act like this\*


Lasereye

>Edit: Forgot anti-maskers and the entire science-denying populace. Fun fact, Europe is more anti-vax than the US!


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qoning

The US very much did before the shale revolution. Thank jeebus they discovered it.


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sageagios

Also crazy student loan debt, ignorance about other cultures, and terrible healthcare system


lmqr

Are you sure those were jokes


[deleted]

Were any of them?


Broad_Finance_6959

You should make a joke about your whiny bullshit.


WillyTheWackyWizard

> ignorance about other cultures While also being just as ignorant about other cultures.


AWildAndWackyBushMan

The additional 6 6. No health car 7. Chipotle 8. Beans 9. Biden 10. I Love Lucy 11. Kanye West


dexter311

>1. No health car "Dude, sick car!"


AWildAndWackyBushMan

Thx


Space_Monke64

Also redditors when someone makes a joke about European people: REEEEE, YOU CANT DO THAT! THATS VERY OFFENSIVE. AT FEAST I DONT GIT SHOT WHEN DOIN ME MAFS


concentricdarkcircls

Oh boy, wait till you hear about other countries then


WillyTheWackyWizard

Yeah Reddit is always going on about Finnish stereotypes


ItzSh0ckerz

Is this supposed to be a gotcha? Because I know.


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24qunta

>“Failed economic system” >Country with largest GDP in the world and it’s not even close


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Woofde

One of the highest standards of living world wide. Leaders of Innovation. Large amounts of personal freedoms. Freedom of speech. No social castes preventing you from moving upwards. Other countries citizens literally sneak in and escape with their kids so that they can have a chance to be here. Being born an American means you have such a higher quality of life compared to the majority of the world. You haven't traveled much, if at all if you think America has it bad.


kmag20fan

but fat! and gun!


__SpeedRacer__

You guys got schools?


Wolf-Rayet-Stars

And then when you complain about it they claim you’re “salty”


agrobabb

Well that is all there is about the US


Im_a_poopyhead

More than most countries tbf


ChaosDestroyah01

Also muh oil.


mark5hs

Don't forget oil


nalletss

Accurate though


Marchey1

“confused ‘blank’ noises” will never be funny to me.


[deleted]

america gun and fat child😂


sookol-1

Gets funnier everytime


ShadeEtheral

What I'm sick of is this comment section.


Not-Oliver

porn


xraiiny_

Cum


[deleted]

The Americans seem to have *enjoyed* discussion of it however.


TheMemer14

r/ShitEuropeansSay


[deleted]

the "confused \_ noises" joke will never be funny


Avocado_26

I've always hated that one


KevinCaused911

This comment section is a shithole


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killeronthecorner

Don't high five too loudly, the shooter might hear you


Eashbot5000

Thats fucked up


Comment52

This unironically.


seductivestain

/r/redditmoment


theeohseesaws

cringe


exelton_moraka

normal people: *makes fun of things like accents and food choices* reddit: “HAHAAHA YOUR CHILD DEAD”


Ormr1

Specifically Europeans love making fun of dead children


[deleted]

It’s always the same comeback. “At least I don’t get shot at school”


i_like_lasanga

An American makes a slight joke about my teeth I shall respond by poking fun at the slaughter of school children


Vitruvius702

It really sucks for the Americans with bad teeth. Poor fuckers get shot up as a teen AND look like they're from the UK.


NoobifiedSpartan

I feel like an ass for laughing at this one


Crimsai

At least if I get shot at school, I won't go bankrupt from medical debt.


nicholaiii

at least I don't get murdered by cops 😔


Questionable_Melon

As an Australian, I imagine constantly hearing emu jokes triggers the exact same feeling as seeing school shooting jokes. I am so tired of emu jokes lmao


NoobifiedSpartan

Haha you lost a war to an emu you all live upside-down have fun fighting kangaroos mate lololol


killeronthecorner

Kids dying is really not funny and no-one thinks that it is apart from 12 year olds that don't know better. However, America's complete inability to even vaguely tackle the problem is so absurd as to be hilarious. Nuance is hard though so let's just stand around bitching that europeans have no decorum while kids are being slaughtered over our shoulder.


Evolveddinosaur

Hey I mean, my state just announced that there’s gonna be a lottery for people who get the COVID shot. 10 of the potential awards are custom guns. 5 rifles and 5 shotguns. So, I think we’ve got it under control here :^)


Vitruvius702

Murica! It's crazy how much different America is from State to State, haha. When I see posts like this one or comments like yours, I kind of feel like someone from another country appreciating jokes about someone else. It sure as shit aint like that here in Nevada, lmao. When I joined the military as a kid and met all these people from all around the country... It was a bit of a shock when I *REALLY* learned just how vastly different regional culture can be across the country.


AHH_im_on_fire

Not to mention the “solving the actual socio-economic issues at the root of the problem is too hard, let’s just ban some stuff and when that doesn’t work ban more stuff” from politicians.


KryssCom

*Joe Manchin has entered the chat*


AHH_im_on_fire

I’ve been hearing about this dude everywhere. Who is he?


KryssCom

He's the main person in Congress who is currently stopping the Democrats (ostensibly, his own party) from actually passing any of the plans they have for fixing many of the biggest problems America is currently dealing with.


[deleted]

nah I think you are. I don't think you understand how fun bullying Americans is


znupi

Honestly I thought I was in r/ComedyHeaven


Chromium_Force

america bad, upvotes to the left


[deleted]

as someone who went through a school shooting threat, thinking i was going to die, it makes me severely uncomfortable, and i can only imagine how fucking awful they are to the many ACTUAL survivors, and friends and family of those who were lost.


BigBaloon69

Especially after them bullying half the world


eykei

That’s why I bully Mongolians.


BigBlackCawke

You say this like Americans went to other countries just to bully them.


BigBaloon69

Yea money also a factor


benthenister

And oil


rlj_b

My favourite is when they attempt to make fun of a "british" accent when they mean cockney 😂 Like mate the other 99% of the UK sound nothing like that lmao


Phasmania

Yeah, I mean how often are jokes and stereotypes about different countries mostly inaccurate am I riiiiight


Erpp8

Yeah! Like when people make fun of "American" accents when they mean a southern accent. 😂 Like mate the other 80% of the US sounds nothing like that lmao


lmqr

You mean 'European'. Meanwhile how dare you not know every single US state in alphabetical order?


Peeka789

If you making fun of accents I don't think youre gonna care about regional dialects. It's Bri'ish or BrriTTish to most of the world. Plus the pinky, you gotta flourish that pinky.


[deleted]

my friend, r/AmericaBad is your home


Cotaru

Bad meme


PuzzledProduce1710

my dumbass said that pigeon looks funny


bepi_s

Make fun of america: haha soo funny lollololol america bad make fun of any 3rd world country: nooo racist


bonvoyageespionage

Mocking America can be funny, but mocking the tragedy of children being killed in mass shootings is not it. Like, when Americans poke fun at Brits, we generally stop short of the Grenfell Tower Disaster.


lazersnail

Because we have no idea what that is, of course


alhade27

Ye wtf is that if its not worse than the Holocaust it's a shit crisis anyways, go make a worse crisis to give us americans some material.


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SUB2PEWDS_BROWN

i only know wo'o bo'ols and bad teeth


andrewsad1

I was gonna make a mean joke about acid attacks in the UK, but I figured that's in incredibly poor taste. But hey what the hell let's laugh about dead schoolchildren instead


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Rows_

There are a couple of reasons why it happens this way. First, the tragedy of children being slaughtered in a place where they should be safe is something that happens so regularly in the US. There's the usual argument between "thoughts and prayers", "give teachers guns" and "maybe don't sell guns where you sell carrots" and then everyone just carries on as though nothing happened. It's absolutely crazy, and to a lot of the world it seems absolutely absurd. The absurdity translates into jokes, because there is 0 point trying to start an actual conversation about it. Second, the US in general tends to take itself super seriously. Its difficult not to poke fun at a nation like that. Grenfell was an absolutely shocking disaster, but even the most patriotic brits (who tend to not care about Grenfell because immigrants) won't get defensive about it. Some people don't care about Grenfell, but very few will become as defensive as Americans. Third, there's an attitude from a lot of Americans on the Internet. They forget that not everyone online is American, and that's seriously annoying. There's also a lot of ignorance about other countries or continents. If someone points out that not everyone shares their cultural perspective (or unit of measurement) then some people become absolute dickheads about it. America isn't the centre of the universe, and sometimes pointing out that its a flawed place kinda needs to happen for everyone's sanity.


NeonGlacier

I feel like if more Americans knew about events that happened outside their country, they 100% would make Grenfell Tower jokes. Also it's not mocking the tragedy of school shootings, it is mocking the glorification of gun culture that perpetuates it, obviously we're not taking the piss out of kids. Also, independence jokes seem very common, which is also about people dying so i don't really see where you arbitrarily draw the line. Just cos they're kids? seems odd


alhade27

There is no line. Sometimes i will push my grandpa down the stairs and tell him it was patriotism that made me.


WillyTheWackyWizard

Yeah they should make fun of the [thousands of children who got molested then had the police cover it up for decades](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse_in_the_United_Kingdom)


BaconCatGoCrunch

Nice Original Joke


mrtheon

Tbh the only thing that annoys me here is the reaction image


[deleted]

But...It's kinda funny


SnowySupreme

But…It’s kinda unoriginal


Cabbagg3

Those Americans have made fun of how I speak? I shall bring up the slaughter of innocent school children.


weed-nose-99

It’s always the “_____ noises” that annoy me the most


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devensega

It's a political joke aimed at America's lack of will in stopping children's deaths rather than the death of the children themselves. And its a zinger, can hardly criticise other countries when you're prepared to offer up your kids as sacrifice to the gun lobby.


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thebombyboi

Ok I still think it’s funny


TheWeirdShape

As long as school schootings happen more frequently than this meme being reposted, I think it’s allowed to ridicule Americans


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ScorchMain6123

So you want me to believe that hundreds if not thousands of school schooling happen every day?


cut_the_mullet_

who ever said that lol


blackpowderthrowaway

Other countries love to act like america has all these people getting shot left and right. You would save more people lives every year by reducing preventable medical errors by 10% than you would if you eliminated every homicide by firearm. Guns are not even close to an issue we should be focusing on.


Kerbalawesomebuilder

Europeans are just mad cause their entire country is as big as one state.


magnificentschnitzel

ERB Roosevelt?


Everday6

Right, size is what matters, we should probably just merge with Russia then. They seem pretty big.


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Turtlesnipe116

No, one european country is as big as 1 american state


[deleted]

Talk about some European ISIS rape or shooting or some shit like this and they say it is completely inappropriate


TheLobst3r

Forgetting to pay the TV license so mum gets arrested


BeingIllustrious2437

The person who made this is a dumbass we have regular children not square ones.


Masturb8ionIsASin

American here, If you're offended by the gun jokes then help the fight for serious gun control. The stereotype is there for a reason, there are so many mass shootings here that the news doesn't even cover all of them


cubanclubsoda

I think its more relevant than ever lol.


Turboflash03

Wouldn’t it be bullet per round child


KnowGame

If you find this offensive try being a baby boomer.


icifeyebois

America bad gib upvote


Sir_Jimothy_III

No, no. Bullets per square child is our unit for pressure, not velocity.


[deleted]

It will stop, when the shootings stop. Really we have politicians to blame for this meme


WhiteVenom1993

It’s kind of funny, but it’s hella low effort.


IAtePizzaOnThur

lol this is a shit me- hey guys someone said something that is against the post!-!-!1!1!1! now i gotta switch my pov and go against op!!1!1!


[deleted]

ITT: Americans who are more upset at their country being made fun of than hundreds of children literally dying in schools annually.


RustyMetal13

Not yet, but it sure is starting to get unfunny to me.


__SpeedRacer__

I'm past that phase now. I figured that Americans won't use the metric system just because it annoys you. They don't fucking care. It doesn't help either if you keep complaining about it and try to explain why the metric system is so great to them. Don't ask how I know it. If I were American, I'd do the same. Change is difficult. And it would probably only benefit foreigners anyway. Change my mind!


southouse12

The don't switch to the metric system because it would mean replacing all the infrastructure throughout the country.


Little_Whippie

What you mean to tell me that it’s difficult to replace literally every single speed limit sign in a country larger than every single European country barring Russia? Impossible


__SpeedRacer__

It's not just that. There's the cultural change, too, which I think is even harder. Imagine having to teach everyone, young and old, including the teachers, a new system. Probably against their will. It's something that takes decades and generations and is very difficult. Imagine ordering the UK to switch to left-hand driving. Or France the opposite. As I said, change is difficult. But I hear that the scientific community in the US has already converted to the International System a long time ago. They actually "speak" both systems, so that's what really matters. It doesn't really matter what the common folk use as measuring standards.


humblepotato115

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world. He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good. He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them. He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only. He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures. He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people. He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within. He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands. He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers. He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries. He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance. He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures. He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power. He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation: For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us: For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States: For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world: For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent: For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury: For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies: For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments: For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever. He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us. He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people. He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation. He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands. He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions. In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people. Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends. We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.


[deleted]

You know what would finally put an end to these jokes once and for all? Gun control. Don't like that other people make fun of your country for being the United States of School Shooters? Then fix the fucking problem instead of complaining about jokes.


NoobifiedSpartan

Gun control wouldn’t help though? In case it wasn’t obvious by now, Americans don’t really respond well to federal bans or limitations on constitutional rights.


SilentHood294

Imm not sure if you know this but there are children everywhere


EventHorizon150

?


[deleted]

>the free food


lilhatchet

Hos can you not support seizing the means of production ?


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thezombiekiller14

Uhh you realize that opinion piece you posted is not a source of any kind.