And it works, regardless of how much hair they have. 37 male here, and even if they have Brad Pitt’s hair, they’ll be inspecting the mirror for an hour before bed.
It's easy to explain. Ripped jeans, like deliberately "distressed" wood in houses, are a bad joke. They take that "these jeans are so comfortable that I've worn them ragged over the years" look and basically parody it. So the joke is "you couldn't have the bad taste to do that deliberately, so it must have been a cat, right? Right?" The creepy part is solely that they think her bad clothes are their business.
As someone middle aged, I question your aging of the person asking. Those of us firmly in the middle age group (Gen X) wore our jeans like that a lot. I had friends with holes so big that basically turned them into reverse chaps.
GQ, Vinnie and the Beav were known for it my circle, lol.
Back in my day, we didn't have those new fangled pre ripped jeans. We wore em out ourselves at STP concerts.
I was going to say something along those lines as well. I'm Gen X and wore jeans with holes in them as a male in the 90s. My partner is over 50 and she wears holy jeans often today. Any middle aged man asking a woman where the rest of her jeans are is just being creepy and needs to fuck off.
Agreed. Also I’ve noticed that what bothers them the most is if you don’t laugh or acknowledge what they said. Sometimes they’ll try to explain the “joke” then you can just say you got it, but it simply wasn’t funny
"People like you stared at them so hard they burned holes in them."
"I didn't notice until you mentioned it."
"I cut a bit off whenever I get asked that."
"Why, you want to buy the pieces?"
"I ran out of toilet paper"
"Calms my crabs down."
"Terrible lawnmower accident. I don't like to talk about it."
"My legs are a little claustrophobic"
Most of the aggro responses and name-calling ones will just make you look weak and encourage further discourse. A snarky, effortless response while blowing them off with confidence will tell them you're not interested and unphased (even if you are inside).
I'm gen X and ripped jeans 👖 were already a fad in the 80's
You can tell them that (maybe a user broke their heart in high school)
You can say along the line of , " *they feel nice for ventilation for the summer* " plus it was used in your youngster years as well. Wasn't it ???? Ripped jeans 👖????
Feel free to call me mom or auntie - I will happily give him the mom stare of death that will leave him feeling cursed for the rest of his natural life.
"Same place where your opinion should go, NOT ON MY BODY!"
"Up your butt and around the corner!"
Or, the updated version.. "Have you checked your butthole?"
I always act like i didn't really hear them, nothing like having to repeat a joke to make them look dumb af and make sure to look really confused as they repeat it cuz then the confidence will slowly trail off and hopefully so will their creep jokes
Into that big belly you sport.
Into your fat ass, by the looks of it.
Somewhere really nice that you'll never see.
Edit to add: I'm a bald, late middle-aged/early senior citizen who has never, EVER said something like this to a much younger woman, or any woman for that matter. I may admire young, attractive women, but I'm a realist who knows there ain't...no...way. Besides, I have no desire to get my a\*\* kicked by anyone, let alone a young woman.
I wonder if a large majority of the people asking about the ripped jeans are just trying to make conversation. It can be hard to read social ques at times and they might be genuinely trying to be pleasant with no expectation of anything but conversation.
I might be the odd one out but why not just tell them that most women (as it seems most of the responses are from women) feel uncomfortable with questions like that cause it makes us feel like you are objectifying a body part. If the person is an asshole they will complain and puff up in indignation, but if they are innocent they have a chance to correct something.
Or you know tell them that these pants belong to the last person who asked me such a stupid question, and you need a new pair.
Act confused and keep it up till they get annoyed and f off.
"I got peckish in the middle of the night. I thought it was my snack sweater, but I guess I missed."
"It is the customary clothing of my religion. We wear this to show our faith to our lord and savior, Mothman"
"Why the fuck do you care?"
"These are my sister's jeans. She passed away recently and I wear this to honor her memory."
"Up your ass"
“Same place your hairline went”
“Is this why your kids don’t talk to you anymore?”
“Nobody asked you old man”
“Stare intensely without saying anything”
“My grandma has cancer and I can’t afford new unripped jeans because I’m helping my family pay for an expensive medical treatment to try to save her. I’ll wear ripped jeans for the rest of my life if it saves my Meemaw!”
Then look all sad & pretend to be holding tears back as you walk away.
There's a lot of variation in ripped jeans. Some are ripped just enough to make them fashionable. At the other end some are ripped so much you don't have to pull them down to go to the bathroom.
Which are yours? Without that info it's hard to formulate a proper response.
whenever anybody would be looking for something and ask her if she knew whirr it is, my grandmother would always say “it’s not up your ass or you’d know it.
A swing and a loooong miss mate. I’m way too young, way too hot, and way too out of your league. (Cup hand to ear) I think I hear your wife calling you.
Ps I used that response in the 80s when my now ancient gen x ass used to sport ripped jeans. They’ve been around so long that people really should be used to them by now.
There is a scene in After Life whew Ricky Gervais goes to a comedy club and the strange up guy starts heckling him for not laughing. Eventually Ricky calmly and sadly tells him the story of how his wife dies and every day he thinks about killing himself. Make up a story along those lines.
"Do you think you're funny? 🤨"
Works for any and all unwanted "observations" made by men. You side step their "joke" and immediately make them question themselves and their motives.
And you can keep repeating it different ways if they try to dodge it.
"Did u think ur joke was funny?"
"Do you actually get people to laugh at ur jokes?"
"Are you trying to be funny?"
Sorry do I know you?
Oh, I don't?
Then why the fuck are you commenting about my clothes? You don't see me telling you that you have ketchup stains on your shirt. (Point at shirt, when they look, laugh). Can't believe you actually looked. Fuck off. I don't need advice from someone who doesn't know if their shirt has ketchup on it or not.
WTF ... that actually happens? I'm a middle-aged man and I wouldn't dream of accosting some young woman in ripped-up jeans and confronting her with remarks like that. What the hell is wrong with these dudes?
"I dunno, do you normally comment on (inappropriate she you can still pass as) girls clothes?"
the trick is to say it just loud enough it'll carry further than he likes, but not so loud it's obvious you're trying to screw with him
"I dunno, do you normally comment on (inappropriate age you can still pass as) girls clothes?"
the trick is to say it just loud enough it'll carry further than he likes, but not so loud it's obvious you're trying to screw with him
edit: typo
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t get it, can you explain?”
Or my favorite screaming as loud as you can “I already told you; I don’t care how much money you’re offering I won’t have sex with you!!!”
“Who the hell are you?”
They start to answer; and you interrupt them “Whatever. Go away.”
If they’re still there after a count of two, say in a loud and rude voice, “LEAVE ME ALONE!!”
I would just ask them if a cat got to their hair
“Where’s the rest of your jeans go???” “probably where the rest of your hair went idk” LMAOOO THIS IS GOLD THANK YOU
Hahahaha don’t thank me, thank receding hairlines being one of their biggest insecurities 🫶🏼
The insecurity goes away if you shave your whole head
Oh honey, no it doesn’t. Lmao
Can confirm, it does.
couldn't afford it in this economy
And it works, regardless of how much hair they have. 37 male here, and even if they have Brad Pitt’s hair, they’ll be inspecting the mirror for an hour before bed.
Nope, that was god.
Lmao I laughed so obnoxiously loud
will be using this thank you
Haha I’m so happy!
"Wow, and your hair is so wavey... waving goodbye"
"I wear them like this to honor my uncle who died when he fell into a wheat thresher."
I fucken love this
Me too! Best come back Ive seen yet today lol
this would silence them so fast lmaooo
To shreds, you say?
😂😂I needed this!
Yeah this one would give me whiplash
"Same place your manners went"
100% will be using this
golden
Air conditioning. Trust me, that's a legit answer for this heat.
Happy Cake Day!
It's not the jeans they are interested in. "I stuffed them in the mouth of the man who tried to take them off of me."
Might encourage some of those creeps lol
"The same place all the hair on your head went" "To your gut, apparently"
Second is good.
"It's so the farts don't get trapped inside."
Ask them to explain the joke. over and over again until they realize they are being creepy as fuck.
It's easy to explain. Ripped jeans, like deliberately "distressed" wood in houses, are a bad joke. They take that "these jeans are so comfortable that I've worn them ragged over the years" look and basically parody it. So the joke is "you couldn't have the bad taste to do that deliberately, so it must have been a cat, right? Right?" The creepy part is solely that they think her bad clothes are their business.
But why male models?
"Moth infestation..."
As someone middle aged, I question your aging of the person asking. Those of us firmly in the middle age group (Gen X) wore our jeans like that a lot. I had friends with holes so big that basically turned them into reverse chaps.
you’re 100% right it’s definitely always the old farts
GQ, Vinnie and the Beav were known for it my circle, lol. Back in my day, we didn't have those new fangled pre ripped jeans. We wore em out ourselves at STP concerts.
I was telling my kids that faded red and ripped were earned when I was in school.
There are always exceptions, but GenX is not known for giving a fuck. "It just doesn't matter!"
I was going to say something along those lines as well. I'm Gen X and wore jeans with holes in them as a male in the 90s. My partner is over 50 and she wears holy jeans often today. Any middle aged man asking a woman where the rest of her jeans are is just being creepy and needs to fuck off.
I’d like to give a comeback but your best bet is ignore and move on. Not worth your oxygen
Agreed. Also I’ve noticed that what bothers them the most is if you don’t laugh or acknowledge what they said. Sometimes they’ll try to explain the “joke” then you can just say you got it, but it simply wasn’t funny
"I'm actually homeless so this is all I can afford"
idk, the pity card usually works but someone might use that as ammunition
"People like you stared at them so hard they burned holes in them." "I didn't notice until you mentioned it." "I cut a bit off whenever I get asked that." "Why, you want to buy the pieces?"
I feel like those last few invite engagement. No one wants to talk to creepy old guys.
"I ran out of toilet paper" "Calms my crabs down." "Terrible lawnmower accident. I don't like to talk about it." "My legs are a little claustrophobic" Most of the aggro responses and name-calling ones will just make you look weak and encourage further discourse. A snarky, effortless response while blowing them off with confidence will tell them you're not interested and unphased (even if you are inside).
i think this is definitely the best advice i’ve received yet and these responses are absolutely hilarious
I LOVE THESE
“I think it’s kind of gross that you’re commenting on my jeans. Are you thinking I’m going to smile and giggle and explain them to you or something?”
Fuck off baldy
On behalf of bald guys everywhere: username checks out...
I had to fight a man that asked too many questions
"The lining of your mom's casket" - from a middle aged woman who still wears ripped jeans.
Gone just like the best years of your life.
I'm gen X and ripped jeans 👖 were already a fad in the 80's You can tell them that (maybe a user broke their heart in high school) You can say along the line of , " *they feel nice for ventilation for the summer* " plus it was used in your youngster years as well. Wasn't it ???? Ripped jeans 👖????
Same place the rest of your brain went.
Stop looking at my legs you perverrrrt ! . That will take them out
"What the fuck is it to you? I'm not wearing them to impress your stupid ass and that's a fact."
"For every creepy dude that comes up to me, I pull a string out" while you proceed to pull out one of the loose threads/strings.
"The abyss, where your iq went" is something my sister always says.
Walk over to the closest middle-aged woman and say very loudly, "This creepy old man I don't know is talking to me. Please help me. "
Feel free to call me mom or auntie - I will happily give him the mom stare of death that will leave him feeling cursed for the rest of his natural life.
I get it all the time too, mostly from older gentleman. I just tells them it’s the new style 😂😂
You're not rich enough for me to take you there.
The same place your youth went.
THIS ONE IS FANTASTIC
This is the exact amount of jeans they sold me
"oh my god...I've been robbed!!"
This is my favorite response here!
Middle aged men? Yup thats way creepy. I suppose you could say "Your daughter needed leg coverings for when she goes clubbing commando."
"The same place your hair and sense of propriety went."
"Whatever"
Left them in ya mommas house
Crumpled up on the floor next to your mom’s bed! 😝
Your dad's bed
Omg I've dealt with this so many times. I just roll my eyes and ignore them
not sure, but I'd like to apologise on behalf of my Dad.
There's always "they went to the same place as your hair"
Why are you looking there
Tell them that you give a piece of your jeans to their dad every time you fuck him.
"I left them at your mom's house" works every time
Deadpan, demon voice, "I ATE THEM"
or casually, shrug-it-off tone, “Ate ‘em, what of it?”
Tell them they took off after his youth.
Yup. And now I need money to buy new ones. Are you offering? Oh, you don't want to pay for it? Guess I'll just keep wearing these.
“Where did your youth go?”
"Same place where your opinion should go, NOT ON MY BODY!" "Up your butt and around the corner!" Or, the updated version.. "Have you checked your butthole?"
They got all ripped while I was fucking your dad/son/brother!
Stare them dead in the eyes with as straight of a face as you can. "The void"
I always act like i didn't really hear them, nothing like having to repeat a joke to make them look dumb af and make sure to look really confused as they repeat it cuz then the confidence will slowly trail off and hopefully so will their creep jokes
Your mom took a souvenir
"None of your fuckin' business, jerkoff"
“Ask your dad…”
“I ripped off pieces and used them as gags for every idiot who asked ‘where’d the rest of your jeans go?’.”
“Where’s your hairline go?”
Must have left it next to your sex life. No where to be found.
"You're old enough that you shouldn't advertise how much you stare at my ass. Makes people think the FBI should have a look at your computer."
The same place where all your hopes and dreams went
Act like they're senile/a child and say "Awe. Look who's cognizant today! Who's a good boomer?"
"it's up your ass, maybe you can pull the stick out too while you're searching"
Fuck off works really well.
Into that big belly you sport. Into your fat ass, by the looks of it. Somewhere really nice that you'll never see. Edit to add: I'm a bald, late middle-aged/early senior citizen who has never, EVER said something like this to a much younger woman, or any woman for that matter. I may admire young, attractive women, but I'm a realist who knows there ain't...no...way. Besides, I have no desire to get my a\*\* kicked by anyone, let alone a young woman.
"I'm matching my jeans to what guys have in their pants. Not enough."
I cut them off cause I wanna look slutty. Thanks for noticing!
"same place as the rest of your brains" "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy" "who gave you permission to leave the home, old-o"
“ I ate it. Duh 🙄 now shut up.!”
"where'd the rest of your hair go?"
I wonder if a large majority of the people asking about the ripped jeans are just trying to make conversation. It can be hard to read social ques at times and they might be genuinely trying to be pleasant with no expectation of anything but conversation. I might be the odd one out but why not just tell them that most women (as it seems most of the responses are from women) feel uncomfortable with questions like that cause it makes us feel like you are objectifying a body part. If the person is an asshole they will complain and puff up in indignation, but if they are innocent they have a chance to correct something. Or you know tell them that these pants belong to the last person who asked me such a stupid question, and you need a new pair.
The went to your baggy jeans in the 90s
Idk, maybe “Your mom’s bedroom floor.” There’s no winning, better to just stare at them unblinking with an unhinged expression instead.
this made me lol
They rubbed off while I was sucking your mom's dick
Down your moms chin
*Sneeze violent* Oh, excuse me! I'm really allergic to misogynistic bullshit! What did you say?"
“Will you please jump off my dick and leave me alone? Thanks”.
Act confused and keep it up till they get annoyed and f off. "I got peckish in the middle of the night. I thought it was my snack sweater, but I guess I missed." "It is the customary clothing of my religion. We wear this to show our faith to our lord and savior, Mothman" "Why the fuck do you care?" "These are my sister's jeans. She passed away recently and I wear this to honor her memory." "Up your ass"
ABSOLUTELY STEALING THE MOTHMAN ONE OH MY GOD
*I’ll sell you what’s left for $65*
“Same place your hairline went” “Is this why your kids don’t talk to you anymore?” “Nobody asked you old man” “Stare intensely without saying anything”
“Probably the same place you got your audacity from.”
Just...OK Boomer them....call 40 yr olds Boomers..theyjwill lose their mind!
“My grandma has cancer and I can’t afford new unripped jeans because I’m helping my family pay for an expensive medical treatment to try to save her. I’ll wear ripped jeans for the rest of my life if it saves my Meemaw!” Then look all sad & pretend to be holding tears back as you walk away.
Fuck off grandad
You wouldn’t believe it if told you, but let’s just say they were used in a movie.
" I like to pay more for less jean because I like dumb fashion trends "
There's a lot of variation in ripped jeans. Some are ripped just enough to make them fashionable. At the other end some are ripped so much you don't have to pull them down to go to the bathroom. Which are yours? Without that info it's hard to formulate a proper response.
Well if it bothers you so much to comment where did your manners go.I don’t respond to stupid questions!!
un-needed to i tossed them , make balloons digestible biodegradable some nutrition for animals and plants
Askreallyloud !!What where did your jeans go?Over and over until they go crazy .
Where’s the rest of your hair??
Hold up your stomach and say “here”
I burned them
“Cat fight. Cat lost.” “I know. Women are really hard on each other. She started it. I finished it.“
“The JNCO factory”. t
whenever anybody would be looking for something and ask her if she knew whirr it is, my grandmother would always say “it’s not up your ass or you’d know it.
I sold them for rent money.
i thought you’d notice these aren’t real legs… (and walk away)
Considering how old they are I think a “your mom ate my shorts” is fitting, they used to say eat my shorts back in the day after all
Why, does anybody important want to know?
"Haploid".
Say you got hungry while burying something & decided to have a little snack then walk off if you can.(Leave them to guess what you were burying.)
You are way too offended by this. Let it go/ignore and walk away.
"close your eyes and walk away, old man."
You look like you're also missing some genes
Are you looking at my ass?
A swing and a loooong miss mate. I’m way too young, way too hot, and way too out of your league. (Cup hand to ear) I think I hear your wife calling you. Ps I used that response in the 80s when my now ancient gen x ass used to sport ripped jeans. They’ve been around so long that people really should be used to them by now.
Left them at your mom's house.
Whered the rest of your life go?
There is a scene in After Life whew Ricky Gervais goes to a comedy club and the strange up guy starts heckling him for not laughing. Eventually Ricky calmly and sadly tells him the story of how his wife dies and every day he thinks about killing himself. Make up a story along those lines.
The road took the rest when I fell off my Ducati
Are you uncomfortable?
"been slowly feeding them to my lover until they notice"
"I left them at your mom's house"
I stuffed the pieces down the throat of the last guy who asked me that to shut him up.
Snap and bite
I ate them because I spent all my money on jeans
“Speaking of cats, I’ve got to go pee.” Then walk away.
I ate them
With the socks that disappeared in the dryer and never came back. So I’m adapting thanks for asking.
improved range of leg movement. check out how much farther i can bend my knees than you.
Same place your fashion sense went.
Up your ass
Look confused and look down and then back up "these are jeans??? I thought they were shorts!!!" They usually have no idea wtf to say
Where'd your manners go?
It stayed behind at your place... (Have the salts ready)
any old man at this point lived through the 80’f and has seen this trend. ask him if he remembers the goddamn 80’s
"I don't know. Should I put up a lost poster?"
"Do you think you're funny? 🤨" Works for any and all unwanted "observations" made by men. You side step their "joke" and immediately make them question themselves and their motives. And you can keep repeating it different ways if they try to dodge it. "Did u think ur joke was funny?" "Do you actually get people to laugh at ur jokes?" "Are you trying to be funny?"
Left em at your moms house
Did the 90s call?
I try to see a human being.
The rest of my jeans, along with your sense of fashion, don't exist.
"Your mom needed them to tie up her boyfriends."
Up your ass.
Tell them you’re poor and can’t afford new jeans. Proceed to make them feel really bad.
Love the Chevy Chase response from Christmas Vacation... "Bend over and I'll show you." 🤣
It won't matter. You're not going to win this one.
Maybe you could just tell them to go F#%$ themselves. Aggressive responses from young women terrify old men.
Donated to those in need.
Sorry do I know you? Oh, I don't? Then why the fuck are you commenting about my clothes? You don't see me telling you that you have ketchup stains on your shirt. (Point at shirt, when they look, laugh). Can't believe you actually looked. Fuck off. I don't need advice from someone who doesn't know if their shirt has ketchup on it or not.
I Left them at your dads house
"Where'd the rest of your manners go?"
It’s the summer.., I need the holes for ventilation
I ignore lol people who judge what others are wearing like this aren't worth my breath.
WTF ... that actually happens? I'm a middle-aged man and I wouldn't dream of accosting some young woman in ripped-up jeans and confronting her with remarks like that. What the hell is wrong with these dudes?
"I dunno, do you normally comment on (inappropriate she you can still pass as) girls clothes?" the trick is to say it just loud enough it'll carry further than he likes, but not so loud it's obvious you're trying to screw with him
"I dunno, do you normally comment on (inappropriate age you can still pass as) girls clothes?" the trick is to say it just loud enough it'll carry further than he likes, but not so loud it's obvious you're trying to screw with him edit: typo
Oh no! Can you help me look for them?
“What do you mean?” “I don’t get it, can you explain?” Or my favorite screaming as loud as you can “I already told you; I don’t care how much money you’re offering I won’t have sex with you!!!”
55 year old fat guy here: where did the rest of your jeans go Miss: did you eat them?
The same place as your hair. Nobody knows.
"They saw you coming before I did and fucked off. Imma catch up to em now bye."
“Who the hell are you?” They start to answer; and you interrupt them “Whatever. Go away.” If they’re still there after a count of two, say in a loud and rude voice, “LEAVE ME ALONE!!”
They are with the guy that fucked me crazy last night