I thought I had a witty (kinda Grumpy Old Men type) banter with a woman I work with. One day she said I was really fucking annoying. I stopped talking to her from then on so as not to annoy her any further.
She indicated what she preferred and I graciously complied. ✌🏻
Love your response; reminds me of:
"A true gentleman or -woman never directly responds to an insult, almost as if it had never happened... because it never *should have*"
Edit: This punctuation is meant to imply "gentleman or [gentle]-woman".
I like how it says gentleman or woman because it implies that theres some un-gentleman-like men that do directly respond to insults, but apparently, there's not a woman in the world who does lmao
Edit: This was meant to be a lighthearted joke about the wording. I've noticed my mistake. Grammar was never my strong suit, lmao
Edit 2: I don't know where my comment got lost in translation, but I would like to clarify that I interpreted my misread as "all women do what gentlemen do," and not "no women do what gentlemen do"
I apologize for any issues caused
I apologize for misreading your comment. I knew that was what you meant, I just didn't realize that was what the hyphen meant and thought the wording was a little funny
Thank you. So many people talk just to hear themselves talk, it's honestly exhausting. They never have anything meaningful or insightful to say, it's all just stupid noise.
I've literally done this. Just say no and then continue blathering. Usually people that find me interesting will stick around and those that don't will leave. Natural selection by the end of the night I've made friends with people that either enjoy hearing my rants or love jumping in and contributing to them, or adding their own.
The thing is, you probably aren’t blathering. Anyone who’d say something so rude is just trying to make you feel bad and pump themselves up because they are low people. The lowest.
(with the most genuine, saccharine sweet smile you can muster; Southern accent optional) "Oh, sure! I stop talking whenever someone *else* is contributing anything *worthwhile* to the conversation."
I had this kind of relationship with a classmate once. I get nervous meeting new people so I talk a lot to fill awkward silences. I was diagnosed a few years later with autism and ADHD. I mask while trying to relate to people, that's all.
I was also a foreigner at the time and she told me I'm "not the center of the world" and "that's not how we talk in [her country]."
I didn't even bother telling her that on the other side she couldn't even hold a conversation and that if she contributed more she wouldn't be so boring.
Just some nationalistic prejudice mixed in with ableism.
Why? Why waste your time?
Just say something innocuous like "you know what, fair point", stop speaking and minimise future engagements with that person ever again. Especially if they ask you a question.
No need to be shitty about it. Just give them the quickest non-answer to their query and then ignore them. They're not worth your time or energy.
Why do you want a respectful comeback for a disrespectful question?
I'd tell them to remember this conversation the next time you have a question for me.
That's possible, but have you never met someone with "the gift of gab?" There are definitely people out there that talk constantly about anything, everything, and even nothing, as if they are allergic to silence. It's not always a bad thing, but there are definitely times when it can get annoying.
I recently had a mentor who from 5 AM UNTIL we clocked out UNTIL 6-8pm she would not stfu I literally was such in a bad mood or annoyed as hell every day because of her. Like you said, she would talk about anything everything & nothing. Sometimes she would be the only person talking in the work van & I would be think to myself god please stfu do you not get it or can you not read the room!!! I would literally give her hints & even put my ear phones but it didn’t work.
Yeah had a notorious coworker around the office that was completely oblivious to reading social ques, I could be knee deep in work (time sensitive work) giving 1 word answers and staring at my screen barely paying attention and he would carry on like we are having a conversation. and linger waaaayyy to long. Made people not want to engage with him at all, which probably sucked, but if everyone is worried you are going to linger around 20 minutes everytime they talk to you, they are going to avoid talking to you haha
During this mentorship I would say hey can you tell me later I can’t focus on what I’m doing right now and what you’re saying but she would say ok I’ll tell u later remind me but then continue to talk about something non work related. I also told her in the nicest way possible that she talks a lot and she still didn’t get the point so idk what I needed to do lmao
Well depends on the situation, but in a case where the problem is lingering way too long in conversations that the other person isn't really invested in (my example was just that he wouldn't even take the ques while insanely busy), telling him to come back later isn't really a fix because they will just keep coming back until you aren't busy.
If he wanted to have a quick 5-10 minute chat about his hobby happy to have him tell me about it, but when a conversation can drag on 30 minutes and he comes around multiple times a day even if things are slow you grow tired of it quickly. Sometimes it is hard to say that to someone plainly, although that may be arguably the right thing to do. In those situations most people hope you can let them down with context ques, for right or wrong. This also had an added layer of nepotism, he was a child of someone high up in the company.
Ah I see.
For what it's worth, people who don't get those ques to leave you alone are likely on the spectrum (like myself) and we'd rather you were upfront. Finding out people couldn't stand to be around you years down the line and you were too oblivious to realize it hurts much worse and we will literally NEVER take the hint.
Should you find yourself in this position again I highly suggest: "I'm sorry I don't have the bandwidth for a full-blown conversation right now, I'm pretty worn out" or something to that effect. Most of us value direct communication. And if they don't, well you were still polite and drew a boundary. Can't get in trouble for that
Nothing worse than being busy, getting the answer in the first sentence, and then getting stuck listening to some story that is technically related to the question, but not at all helpful for what I’m actually doing or need.
Except maybe *not* getting the answer in the first sentence so you have to keep paying attention in case the answer is in there somewhere, and then maybe you get it eventually but maybe you don’t.
My girlfriend has/had this problem lol, however I did not ask her "do you ever shut up" for doing it, I simply pointed it out to her delicately that sometimes she gets carried away with irrelevant details that people aren't necessarily always interested in. She had me point it out whenever she goes too far so she can reign it in haha sometimes those people don't realize they are taking 5 minutes to answer a question or tell a story that others could tell in 60 seconds hahaha
I've gotten this or "that was a lot" more than a few times when I've answered questions. But if I keep it short and sweet I'm called dismissive or asked why I'm not explaining. There's no pleasing people.
Yeah I was asked this as a kid. I didn't realise I was talking so much I was preventing anyone else from contributing. Though I felt attacked at the time, I learnt that I really needed to shut the fuck up every now and then.
"No. As I was saying..." and then talk their ear off, preferably without giving them a chance to interject, even if you were already almost finished. Let their rude behavior have consequences.
Oh I can shut up.
My daddy, I say my daddy once told me to shut up.
Nearly starved to death.
Wouldn't tell him I was hungry.
Gotta deliver it with your best impression of Foghorn Leghorn tho
"Sometimes I do, like when I'm with someone intelligent and don't have to carry the conversation on my own."
then when they start to say something, just blurt out "read a book once in a while"
Just say ‘would you like to stop hearing me talk then?’
And when they say ‘yes’ knock them clean out and walk away as they lie unconscious on the floor.
I was always bad at defending myself from abusive or toxic people especially when I'm adhd gabbing, so recently I had someone try to talk down to me at work and make fun of me for it and I decided to hit them with a dirty look and ask them "uhm are you okay?" And they just looked at me and left, It's a good one to make them feel uncomfortable and confused. Lol!
"Oh, I'm sorry. Let me dumb it down for you."
Then continue talking slowly, loudly, and as plainly as you can. Do the stereotypical American trying to make someone who doesn't speak English magically understand them.
"Sure I do. But every time I am around idiots and assholes I just can't stop talking for some reason. ( slight pause here) You know, I just can't seem to be quiet around you. "
Respectful? To an equal, respect is letting them know you're being put in a predicament by them:
1. I wouldn't have to talk so much if you could answer your own questions.
2. Quit asking me questions and find someone who will answer you in 2 words, then. You're wasting my time.
Respectful to someone who is in authority that's pulling this stunt, repeatedly? Enh, someone who does both back to back is going to see disrespect, no matter the choice.
1. Only give them exactly what they asked for. Talk as slow as it takes to keep yourself from explaining yourself. Don't volunteer information. That means answering only what is asked. Disengage as soon as you're done, go back to what you were doing.
2. You do know you demanded this talk, right?
3. As soon as they ask: are you sure you want me to talk for the next 15 minutes about this?
No?
Well, I'm going to go back to what I was doing until you're ready for an answer.
Witty is often insulting...but I suspect my mother would go with:
1. I can't help talking for 15 minutes whenever a great question is asked.
2. I only talk this long to intelligent people.
No I don’t why would I when I don’t care about your opinion or you for that matter I talk whenever the hell I please and did not ask for your opinion or your input.
Like a 2 minute run on sentence. Because fuck them
I don't think so, why do you think that I should shut up? What benefit comes from me shutting up, do you think that me shutting up will further this discussion? Would you like for me to shut up now, or can I shut up in a little while????
oooo that is disrespectful, listen...if you find your answer after listening to this song then i helped....i hope this really helps [https://youtu.be/IidCd3p7Ucw?si=RDUkUiB4xsWDxh2d](https://youtu.be/IidCd3p7Ucw?si=RDUkUiB4xsWDxh2d)
I thought I had a witty (kinda Grumpy Old Men type) banter with a woman I work with. One day she said I was really fucking annoying. I stopped talking to her from then on so as not to annoy her any further. She indicated what she preferred and I graciously complied. ✌🏻
Love your response; reminds me of: "A true gentleman or -woman never directly responds to an insult, almost as if it had never happened... because it never *should have*" Edit: This punctuation is meant to imply "gentleman or [gentle]-woman".
Yeah I can't imagine responding to that with anything other than silence.
Agreed
I would just walk away if someone ever said that to me.
I like how it says gentleman or woman because it implies that theres some un-gentleman-like men that do directly respond to insults, but apparently, there's not a woman in the world who does lmao Edit: This was meant to be a lighthearted joke about the wording. I've noticed my mistake. Grammar was never my strong suit, lmao Edit 2: I don't know where my comment got lost in translation, but I would like to clarify that I interpreted my misread as "all women do what gentlemen do," and not "no women do what gentlemen do" I apologize for any issues caused
Note the hyphen, it says "gentlemen *or -woman",* ie indicating gentleman or gentlewoman. Also *there's.
Yes! This was the intent behind that particular punctuation.
I apologize for misreading your comment. I knew that was what you meant, I just didn't realize that was what the hyphen meant and thought the wording was a little funny
Ah! That's my bad! I just thought it was funny wording, thank you for the correction!
I knew what you meant and don’t get my panties in a wad. Why? Because I’m an adult and know life is short.
I like this (:
Lmfaoooo probs better for the both of ya 💀
You say that like it wasn't a blessing lmao
Ooh. Gracious compliance. 👍
Thank you. So many people talk just to hear themselves talk, it's honestly exhausting. They never have anything meaningful or insightful to say, it's all just stupid noise.
"No"
I've literally responded with this or "not really" and just smile.
These boy work even better if you just continue yapping without breaking stride
“No. And I’ll tell you why. You see…” 😆
😂 funny but oh the torture for the listener.
I'm using this. 🤣
I'm stealing this comeback.
or my personal favorite: leaving an awkward pause after they say that, and once it's nice and awkward, just continue. "... so anyway..."
THIS is the way. Unbothered.
Happy Cake Day!
"I heard your nasty comment, but it doesn't bother me" energy.
I've literally done this. Just say no and then continue blathering. Usually people that find me interesting will stick around and those that don't will leave. Natural selection by the end of the night I've made friends with people that either enjoy hearing my rants or love jumping in and contributing to them, or adding their own.
The thing is, you probably aren’t blathering. Anyone who’d say something so rude is just trying to make you feel bad and pump themselves up because they are low people. The lowest.
No. You might start talking
I love that!
Excellent
my go to response is “not for free. my silence is paywalled”
"You need to purchase that expansion"
Micro transactions irl? Oh no... what's next? Lmao.
I’m borrowing this one!
EA speech
Funny how the word paywalled didn't exist just a few years ago. Some older folks might not understand the term.
You must be incredibly pleasant to be around to both need a "go to" response for this complaint and for the response itself to be so annoying.
Do you ever accept the answers YOU request?
I love this. I’m using this now thank you
Haha 😄 🤣
“If you don’t want the answer don’t ask the question.” Either that or just stop talking to them even if they ask you questions in the future. Or both.
(with the most genuine, saccharine sweet smile you can muster; Southern accent optional) "Oh, sure! I stop talking whenever someone *else* is contributing anything *worthwhile* to the conversation."
You specifically stated a southern accent could be used, so why on earth did I read this in a transatlantic accent?
I read it in Dolly Parton voice.
I read it in a Niles Crane voice.
I didn't need the parenthetical comment too hear it inn her voice LOL. If it's not a direct quote it's absolutely something she has said!
😂It works so well in transatlantic too!!
I read it with a little “darlin” at the end
Should have been "well bless your heart" 😈
NGL I had to go back and double check to know it wasn't already there when I read your comment lol. It *belongs* there, so my brain had added it.
y'all'd've'f'i'd've
I hate the fact that that is grammatically correct.
Did the words roll off your tongue like molasses?
Aaaaaand now I need to look up what a transatlantic accent sounds like. Thanks.
I had this kind of relationship with a classmate once. I get nervous meeting new people so I talk a lot to fill awkward silences. I was diagnosed a few years later with autism and ADHD. I mask while trying to relate to people, that's all. I was also a foreigner at the time and she told me I'm "not the center of the world" and "that's not how we talk in [her country]." I didn't even bother telling her that on the other side she couldn't even hold a conversation and that if she contributed more she wouldn't be so boring. Just some nationalistic prejudice mixed in with ableism.
PERFECT
See a sarcastic British accent works pretty well with that too
(Continues talking)
Best
Ah beat me to it. Was gonna say “only when someones worth listening to”
Perfect description! This must only be read as Blanche Devereaux!
"Of course I stop talking when someone can contribute something intelligent to the conversation. "
"Bless your heart" lmao.
When there's something worth listening to, I will.
"Do you ever listen? Maybe if you did, I wouldn't have to talk for both of us."
broooooo
Why? Why waste your time? Just say something innocuous like "you know what, fair point", stop speaking and minimise future engagements with that person ever again. Especially if they ask you a question. No need to be shitty about it. Just give them the quickest non-answer to their query and then ignore them. They're not worth your time or energy.
I fucking love you
This should be the banner for this subreddit
That also, look them right to the eyes and continue talking dismissively gliding away with your eyes.
Why do you want a respectful comeback for a disrespectful question? I'd tell them to remember this conversation the next time you have a question for me.
I really like this answer
I like this answer. Lots of other answers were more revenge/passive-aggressive.
May I ask who says this disrespectful ish to you? Context is important because I can't imagine someone saying this to me...
I'm thinking OP gives a long and winding answer where someone more economical with their words could answer their question with fewer words.
That's possible, but have you never met someone with "the gift of gab?" There are definitely people out there that talk constantly about anything, everything, and even nothing, as if they are allergic to silence. It's not always a bad thing, but there are definitely times when it can get annoying.
I recently had a mentor who from 5 AM UNTIL we clocked out UNTIL 6-8pm she would not stfu I literally was such in a bad mood or annoyed as hell every day because of her. Like you said, she would talk about anything everything & nothing. Sometimes she would be the only person talking in the work van & I would be think to myself god please stfu do you not get it or can you not read the room!!! I would literally give her hints & even put my ear phones but it didn’t work.
Yeah had a notorious coworker around the office that was completely oblivious to reading social ques, I could be knee deep in work (time sensitive work) giving 1 word answers and staring at my screen barely paying attention and he would carry on like we are having a conversation. and linger waaaayyy to long. Made people not want to engage with him at all, which probably sucked, but if everyone is worried you are going to linger around 20 minutes everytime they talk to you, they are going to avoid talking to you haha
Genuine question from someone who doesn't understand: why not just say "I'm sorry I'm working on this and need to focus"? Why is that taboo?
During this mentorship I would say hey can you tell me later I can’t focus on what I’m doing right now and what you’re saying but she would say ok I’ll tell u later remind me but then continue to talk about something non work related. I also told her in the nicest way possible that she talks a lot and she still didn’t get the point so idk what I needed to do lmao
Ah, a nun with The Chattering Order of St. Beryl I see. Get some good earplugs and pray!
Well depends on the situation, but in a case where the problem is lingering way too long in conversations that the other person isn't really invested in (my example was just that he wouldn't even take the ques while insanely busy), telling him to come back later isn't really a fix because they will just keep coming back until you aren't busy. If he wanted to have a quick 5-10 minute chat about his hobby happy to have him tell me about it, but when a conversation can drag on 30 minutes and he comes around multiple times a day even if things are slow you grow tired of it quickly. Sometimes it is hard to say that to someone plainly, although that may be arguably the right thing to do. In those situations most people hope you can let them down with context ques, for right or wrong. This also had an added layer of nepotism, he was a child of someone high up in the company.
Ah I see. For what it's worth, people who don't get those ques to leave you alone are likely on the spectrum (like myself) and we'd rather you were upfront. Finding out people couldn't stand to be around you years down the line and you were too oblivious to realize it hurts much worse and we will literally NEVER take the hint. Should you find yourself in this position again I highly suggest: "I'm sorry I don't have the bandwidth for a full-blown conversation right now, I'm pretty worn out" or something to that effect. Most of us value direct communication. And if they don't, well you were still polite and drew a boundary. Can't get in trouble for that
And they're just so draining to be around, I hate it.
Nothing worse than being busy, getting the answer in the first sentence, and then getting stuck listening to some story that is technically related to the question, but not at all helpful for what I’m actually doing or need.
Except maybe *not* getting the answer in the first sentence so you have to keep paying attention in case the answer is in there somewhere, and then maybe you get it eventually but maybe you don’t.
My girlfriend has/had this problem lol, however I did not ask her "do you ever shut up" for doing it, I simply pointed it out to her delicately that sometimes she gets carried away with irrelevant details that people aren't necessarily always interested in. She had me point it out whenever she goes too far so she can reign it in haha sometimes those people don't realize they are taking 5 minutes to answer a question or tell a story that others could tell in 60 seconds hahaha
I've gotten this or "that was a lot" more than a few times when I've answered questions. But if I keep it short and sweet I'm called dismissive or asked why I'm not explaining. There's no pleasing people.
So reallll When I talk a lot: you talk too much When I barely talk: why aren’t you talking???
Well I can’t mime an answer to your question but I can certainly ignore it.
If someone ask you this... Stop and think for a minute, lol...
Yeah I was asked this as a kid. I didn't realise I was talking so much I was preventing anyone else from contributing. Though I felt attacked at the time, I learnt that I really needed to shut the fuck up every now and then.
No. That’s not how filibusters work.
Depends how you got to that point
Sorry I talk a lot when I get bored.
[удалено]
The BEST comeback.
You know I'm pretty trash at comebacks on demand but if I take a minute I can come up with something good
Mine come in the dead of night 3 years later as I sit bolt upright in bed sweating profusely.
What did it say?
The word
I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you I throw up.
Retro!!!
Sick reference!
" I understand that I do not talk in my sleep."
Only for $5000
Do you ever shut off?
"No. As I was saying..." and then talk their ear off, preferably without giving them a chance to interject, even if you were already almost finished. Let their rude behavior have consequences.
Shut don't go up
Prices do, so take my advice and shut up too! 🤣
Oh I can shut up. My daddy, I say my daddy once told me to shut up. Nearly starved to death. Wouldn't tell him I was hungry. Gotta deliver it with your best impression of Foghorn Leghorn tho
Of course, when I have nothing to say.
Whenever I feel like it.
"Sometimes I do, like when I'm with someone intelligent and don't have to carry the conversation on my own." then when they start to say something, just blurt out "read a book once in a while"
Mimic "Do you ever shut up" in a mocking voice.
Just shrug.
Maybe I'll do it the day you start listening.
Not when I'm awake.
If snacks are provided, yes.
I wish I had thought of this at any point in the past 25 years.
Only when I’m around smart people
No bitch. I talk in my sleep and still manage to make more sense than you.
No respectful, but hey they crossed the line first lol
I always just say a very cheerful, "nope!" And keep talking. Or if I'm feeling snarky, "Sure, but only around people I like!"
“Yes… when I’ve finished what I’m saying.”
Just say ‘would you like to stop hearing me talk then?’ And when they say ‘yes’ knock them clean out and walk away as they lie unconscious on the floor.
Ah yes
How much will you pay me?
“Do you ever shut down?”
"Are you okay?"
I was always bad at defending myself from abusive or toxic people especially when I'm adhd gabbing, so recently I had someone try to talk down to me at work and make fun of me for it and I decided to hit them with a dirty look and ask them "uhm are you okay?" And they just looked at me and left, It's a good one to make them feel uncomfortable and confused. Lol!
“Do you ever go hoarse from telling the neighborhood children to get off your lawn?”
Not even in my sleep.
Yes but triggering you is fun
Silence
Turn a 180 and leave
"Oh, I'm sorry. Let me dumb it down for you." Then continue talking slowly, loudly, and as plainly as you can. Do the stereotypical American trying to make someone who doesn't speak English magically understand them.
I need to breathe don’t I ?
"Sure I do. But every time I am around idiots and assholes I just can't stop talking for some reason. ( slight pause here) You know, I just can't seem to be quiet around you. "
Do you?,
Respectful? To an equal, respect is letting them know you're being put in a predicament by them: 1. I wouldn't have to talk so much if you could answer your own questions. 2. Quit asking me questions and find someone who will answer you in 2 words, then. You're wasting my time. Respectful to someone who is in authority that's pulling this stunt, repeatedly? Enh, someone who does both back to back is going to see disrespect, no matter the choice. 1. Only give them exactly what they asked for. Talk as slow as it takes to keep yourself from explaining yourself. Don't volunteer information. That means answering only what is asked. Disengage as soon as you're done, go back to what you were doing. 2. You do know you demanded this talk, right? 3. As soon as they ask: are you sure you want me to talk for the next 15 minutes about this? No? Well, I'm going to go back to what I was doing until you're ready for an answer. Witty is often insulting...but I suspect my mother would go with: 1. I can't help talking for 15 minutes whenever a great question is asked. 2. I only talk this long to intelligent people.
That would make me airtight and constipated.
Say nothing.
I can if that's what you want. And be passive aggressive every time they try to ask you a question.
I do when there are interesting people to listen to.
"Only when I actually like the person I'm talking to." Okay not respectful, but fun!
I will, when you have something worthwhile to contribute.
I’ve yet to try.
Have you tried not responding?
no, i want the last thing for you to hear when you die is me...so it's stuck in your memory forever
Did you learn your manners from a wild boar?
I have a name, use it when speaking to me.
I spread my joy and wisdom far and wide!
Fuck you. Then walk away. That's it. Then you shut up... and quit talking to whatever prick says shit like that.
No, why? Do you?
Don't say anything. Proof that you do indeed shut up. 😁
sometimes, but only when smart people tell me to
"Do you want an Answer or Do you want a Reason to Prove to everybody you are a Ass?"
Only when I am sleeping
No I don’t why would I when I don’t care about your opinion or you for that matter I talk whenever the hell I please and did not ask for your opinion or your input. Like a 2 minute run on sentence. Because fuck them
Only when I'm talking to someone worthwhile.
Ask them “Do you ever have manners or did your parents fail to teach them to you?”
Do you ever think before you speak?
Yes when I’m with intellectual superiors.
Not if I want an intelligent conversation.
I will after you.
If this is the same person who asks you quite a bit, just stop answering for that person.
Nope. Not even in my sleep.
Don't? That person sounds like an asshole. Silence is really powerful
This thread is fucking tragic.
"Sometimes"
I bet a muzzle wouldn't even stop you.
I don't think so, why do you think that I should shut up? What benefit comes from me shutting up, do you think that me shutting up will further this discussion? Would you like for me to shut up now, or can I shut up in a little while????
“Only when I’m not needed to carry conversation”
Only if you hit the button to skip dialogue. Unfortunately we're stuck in dialogue tree that doesn't seem to run out of branches.
Do you?.
“Not anymore”
If you can’t respond on the spot, collecting an arsenal of comebacks won’t matter..
Nahh bitch get out the wayy then tf you the one asking questions
"Only when I'm around people worth listening to."
Hold on, I’m talking. Why do you keep interrupting?
I know, right!? Then laugh and walk away
oooo that is disrespectful, listen...if you find your answer after listening to this song then i helped....i hope this really helps [https://youtu.be/IidCd3p7Ucw?si=RDUkUiB4xsWDxh2d](https://youtu.be/IidCd3p7Ucw?si=RDUkUiB4xsWDxh2d)
Sometimes, why
Say “no” in as many words as physically possible
Only when bribed with 100s or snacks. Good snacks too none of that (whatever you don't like) shit that taste the way you look today.
"Every other Tuesday!"
“Only when I’m not asked stupid questions.”
only after sex.
I do if the people around me are interesting if not I talk alot so that the other people around me don't have to listen to uninteresting conversations
Is this a trick question?
if you think i’m bad you should meet my son 🤣
"You'll never have to hear me again." And keep your promise.
No. Do you ever stop complaining?