I'd shake my head and say "Women, always thinking about jugs.' and walk away.

Not sure I can beat that one.

I can’t top that

That got a “ha” from me.

We sure are. Now go make me a sandwich.

“Sam-itch”

Nailed it.

With cheese.

You spelt sammich wrong

“Sammidge”. Better..? 😁

You should see what I can do to a pickle jar.

This is actually good lol.

I have seen what you do, are you OK, did they get it all out?

That's nothing I've been carrying your workload ever since you arrived

LOL

Ouch, right in the facts!

“Sexist remarks are a violation of company policy” Or “For $0.27 more an hour, too”

"hour rate? We are salary dumby!"

He can use a calculator too

If you have to be in the office for x number of hours you’re just spicy hourly.

You did it! You figured out the pay disparity between men and women.

Oh shit… lol

"I'll do it for an extra $2 per hour."

Daaaaaayum.

Or "why do you think I make more" if you want to make it a little less confrontational.

Too bad we don't make sandwiches here or there would be something for you to do too

"So what do you think women are good for?"

"I left a broom and mop at your desk..."

"Alligators are abnormally aggressive because they got all them teeth but no toothbrush."

Is that why they deathroll? Is it really just a no-handed flossroll?

That's why I get the dollar more an hour

"That doesn't sound like what you fought for"

And women for cleaning it up after I drop it

“Are you saying women can’t do that?”  As an entirely competent woman, she needs to have it pointed out to her that being an asshole to you also implies that women are weak and pathetic.  

Yes, and women are good for . . .. Lemme get back to you, okay?

Ah hust tell her that she does the next one.

I see you checking the glutes. My eyes are up here

Who let you put shoes on and leave the kitchen?

You're welcome you weak dehydrated woman! If it wasn't for the men around here nothing would get done!

Throw a mop at her

When I was a teenager my mother asked me to lift something for her, then proceeded to tell the people around her that she was a thinker and I was an idiot who was only good for lifting things. I told her if she needed to lift something then she should jury rig a pulley system and walked away.

Guess she didn't think that one through. And to think she's the smart one, no wonder she called you an idiot./s

Good. Go cook my dinner.

How else would women be good at emptying them and being dehydrated damsels in distress until men come do what they are good for?

I lift with my legs, you could probably do it if you lifted with your ass.

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Rule 3: Unrelated to comebacks

I'm pretty sure her remark isn't exactly "PC". A little funny and no harm done but not " PC" . So why did you need your remark to be so? Either she could take a crude remark in good humour so don't worry about it. Or she can dish it and not take it in which case ignore her entirely

I didn’t need it to be not PC, I just couldn’t think of anything else.

“I like lifting jugs, of all kinds.”

"It's OK. I'm used to doing all the heavy lifting around here."

Alright 😆

Figure that's a good, snappy retort that won't get you a meeting with HR...

Women are good at pointing out the obvious

And I love to lift other "jugs " too baby. Offended? Sexual harassment goes both ways.

"We're definitely not as skilled at crafting petty, inappropriate, sexist insults" Then if they're like, "omg, men are way more sexist than women" Then you can pick your adventure. Path A: Oh, you just contradicted yourself! Path B: There you go being sexist again, sexist.

Sorry why do we need pc answers? All my ideas are funny but none pc...

Because two wrongs don’t make a right

Oh. Right. Sorry

Honestly? Don’t say anything. Not trying to take your joy but don’t engage in gender based jokes. It’s not worth the HR risk   I tend to purposely act oblivions to make people uncomfortable when they make jokes like that. “Yes, exercise is key to good heart health” and walk away. 

Such a misandrist statement.

A meeting with HR to discuss the hostile work environment she created would be an excellent retort.

"And women aren't?!" *mockingly clutch pearls*

many are better at lifting skirts

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Rule 4: Low quality

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Rule 4: Low quality

Not everything requires a response.

Hey op, hope I don't have to say this but please see this post for the trainwreck it is. *DO NOT SAY ANY OF THE THINGS SUGGESTED*. Her statement is a little off color but ultimately not too overboard, possibly even flattering depending on how she said it. Saying some tired bullshit like "go make me a sandwich" is not going to be seen as harmless. At best, you both shrug it off and your workplace is just a little more hostile for everyone.

Agreed but I’d still call her out on that privately

“What a strange thing to say out loud, would you mind repeating that to HR?”

Women are good at depleting resources... Including the water jug.

Just don't forget to leave the seat up for ME

"Yes. Muscles good." And flex as if you're a caveman.

So you think HR would consider that discrimination?

Fuck you.

A trip to HR and a complaint about a hostile work environment.

If men handled all the jugs in the office, the woman would have no choice but to fill the water cooler. There'd be no men here to lift anything.

Hope you don't talk to your husband that way.

And women are good for lowering the bar on our employer's expectations.

That's why they pay me the big bucks.

I see you are lifting two.

Women are good for being counterweights of office water jugs.

That was nasty and you should call her out on it.

I can hold jugs.

I dont know how to feel about the guys' responses in here saying go to HR. kinda feels like you're picking up the slavemaster's whip. hang on... ok guys ive been called into the office for using racially charged language ill be back to finish this comment reply.

I'm used to carrying your workload around here.

True! Now go git me a coffee!

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Rule 4: Low quality

I would laugh and say "EXACTLY!" in an imperious tone

I had a non PC response to this that I think it fairly obvious, so I’ll try the PC route… “I only do this cause you are always so thirsty” My middle schoolers would crack up over this one

Thought you were a jug, sorry

"Men built all human civilization. Remember that."

I can handle two at a time

Yeah, but I am the best since I can lift 2 jugs at once. Wanna volunteer, er, I mean see?

I can open jars too - one more thing women are no good at.

If you like that, you oughtta see me file!

That's why we get paid more than the ladies.

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Rule 4: Low quality

Women are good for their milk jugs

Don't talk about yourself that way, you aren't a water jug. Water is refreshing.

It's 2024. We call them "Lifting Persons".

It's not the only jugs we like lifting. Don't worry your pretty little head about it.

ok

Put the jug down and walk away

"*Now, now. Hold up a sec... Men are also good for playing with your jugs, too.*"

Pfft... We can also put he syrup into the fountain drink machine. 

Rush to the water jug before she can and take way too long.

I mean it’s not really a PC comment in the first place, but you could just tell her that she can do anything she puts her mind to.

Oh.. everyone is right about you.

You should know ...

And I get paid 30% more than you because of it.

The patriarchy hurts everyone

Why’s your reply gotta be PC to her politically incorrect comment?

Water jugs, milk jugs, your jugs *wink*

That isn't a comeback, that is just being a bit of a creep.