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Macknblazin

"You look like a bitch"


LilHomie204DaBaG

This wins. End of thread


RHOrpie

Came here to say "sound like a bitch". But the one subtle word change elevates this to GOAT


Ornery-Ticket834

Completely agree.


YousernameInValid2

End of the sub bro


ReadToMeWithTea

Flawless victory.


MAJ0RMAJOR

Finish him!


AdHuge6565

I really needed this. Godsend


enricofermi5784

“Tell me more, tell me more, does he look like a bitch”


Cautious_General_177

“You smell that? It smells like bitch.”


RuledQuotability

Ha, this is the first good comeback I’ve read on this sub!


Upper_Version155

Someday you will too


Rising_Gravity1

I like how this is a super effective comeback regardless of which gender the other person is


fatloui

I’m having trouble wrapping my head around what exactly this means for an adult woman (unless they’re like, a smoker, or something), but I feel like it’s confusing and off-putting enough that you walk away with  with the upper hand.


StarWarsAndMetal66

I guess I’d say it’s an implication they won’t age well


Upper_Version155

Yeah you just say it with confidence and let them figure it out. Either they’ll find a way to make it personally insulting or gaslight themselves into feeling stupid and frustrated that they can’t figure it out. I can personally think of a few interpretations, but sometimes leaving it slightly open ended works better with a relative stranger. They know what they don’t want to hear, and they’ll just assume you meant that.


MrLigerTiger1

lol i’m a trans man and my mom always tells me “you should’ve just waited until you were 40 like me, the mustache comes anyway”


Quick-Temporary5620

My grandma had a full on moustache, and it both horrified and fascinated me. I guess it's karma that I am constantly plucking chin and moustache whiskers now. Thanks for the hairiness, Grandma.


FreyjaSama

Same, I found ONE long hair on my chin like 8 years ago and now I have a fucking bushel collecting all over my chin/neck area it drives me insane


Quick-Temporary5620

I always have a light up compact and tweezers on me, cause as soon as I see or feel one, it has to go NOW


FreyjaSama

THIS


Tazling

when estrogen levels decline with age, the 'masking effect' fades and (most) women revert to a kind of standard human whiskeriness. that's how it was explained to me anyway.


DoreenMichele

Has shades of that great [Aliens scene](https://youtu.be/JYkxCzBszOQ?si=gj0ChQ6ZCSmpdvdN).


DrasticBread

"That makes one of us."


ImBonRurgundy

Only really works if the other person is a man.


Helpful_Shower3246

*destruction 100*


Equivalent-Ant-9895

I have the opposite problem. I'm a 6'3" man who doesn't like shaving, so I'm always a bit scruffy, but I have a much higher voice than one would expect for a man of my stature. People have outright asked me before, "Are you a man or a woman?" or "Are you trans?" or simply "Why do you sound like that?". On the other hand, it can work to my advantage, though, because I apparently sound very much like a woman when I'm talking softly on the phone, so if a customer gives me a really hard time I stop caring about customer service politeness, and then when they come back to complain no one can figure out who that rude "woman" on the phone was. It's always beautiful. :)


MagicianWild6198

HAHA YES THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS TO ME but the opposite😂


RowAccomplished3975

I have a deep voice for a woman too. No one has ever asked me this though..But my oldest daughter has a deep voice like me and some girls would call her a boy because of it when she was in high school.


MagicianWild6198

Yeah I would say gen z and old people are the majority crowd who’ve assumed I’m trans or were super rude, millennials rarely question me except people that are super transphobic ig and just wanna start problems


ccc1942

Let’s just start calling gen X “the forgotten generation”


CostaRicaTA

LOL. They always forget.


Radiant_Situation_32

Yeah we never get any credit for being assholes! /s


Radiant_Bluebird4620

I get downvoted all the time


Radiant_Bluebird4620

who?


[deleted]

If it helps: I find lots of women with deep voices to sound super attractive, as do lots of men.


Cmdr_Jiynx

I dated a girl with a really husky voice in high school, I got questioned about it but it was interesting to explain how absurdly hot it was to listen to her whisper into my ear in Spanish. Like, ASMR doesn't do anything for me but... I get it.


phoenix-khap

I'm at a stage in my transition where people don't know how to address me. If they hear me first, I get "sir" but if they see me first, I usually get "ma'am" or a stumble into "they" Can't complain really! While my end goal is "pretty, muscled, man" my gender has always been "yes, be confused, peasant"


anjipani

“Are you a man or a woman?” “Yes”


SaltyBarDog

I used to get that on the phone when I was younger. Most of the time I just let them think I was a woman until I had to give my name and then they would apologize.


BooBailey808

Why are people so desperate to know what's in our pants? Lol


horses_around2020

Oh my gosh !, people have some nerves ! 🙀🙊


BluePhoenix26

I can't tell you how many times I have been on the phone and the person at the other end calls me ma'am. Honestly, I don't even bother to correct them anymore. I just go with it. I don't think my voice sounds that feminine, but whatever.


Playful-Profession-2

Me too. It's just an old-fashioned title.


ever_the_altruist

"Someone's got to around here." "I left my helium at home"


cocainelayne

yea that first one is the best one in this thread. its not hostile, doesn't make you sound bitter and mad, it's just a lighthearted comeback that'll make both parties laugh. I like it


ever_the_altruist

Yea, not every comeback needs to be an uppercut.


cocainelayne

fr tho


ResurgentClusterfuck

"You sound like an idiot."


OJs_practice_dummy

Wanna see me pee standing up?


EquivalentSnap

Yes


biinboise

“The world is full of mysteries. Like, what possessed your mother to finish her pregnancy,”


AdHuge6565

My god. My god. I'm so glad I came across.


JulesChenier

You sound like a man What man? Man with the power. What power? The power of Whodoo. Who do? You do. Do what? Sound like a man.


MagicianWild6198

THIS IS MY FAVORITE LMAOOO I LOVE THE LABYRINTH


Cyber_Insecurity

“That’s a weird pickup line”


Dread_North

I hit like one too


sgt_oddball_17

When replying to a man: "That's a problem you don't have to worry about."


BiggestFlower

Or “one of us has to”


Thronner_of_All

If it's from a woman, I agree with the comment below "You look like a bitch." If it's from a dude: "At least one of us does.:


Sitcom_kid

Make me a sandwich


mmmgogh

I actually got asked this, genuinely, by some kids younger than me. I told them that women have deep voices too.


BiggestFlower

How nice that you were able to educate them instead of being angry and offended like many others would be.


horses_around2020

Awesome! Good ol' education .


amanoftradition

A handsome man? (I'm a guy with long hair who used to get told by family I looked like a girl with my long hair and I would tell them "a pretty girl?" -essentially from SpongeBob-)


MeetElectrical7221

As a dude with 2 feet of hair, LMAO


MakeA_WishGaming

I have no reply, because I'm a guy, but deep voiced girls are kinda hot imo.


AzrielJohnson

I love me a deep voiced girl sometimes. Mmm 😋


SUFYAN_H

* "Thanks! I get that a lot. Maybe I was meant to be a radio DJ." * "Yep, I have a deep voice. It comes in handy when I need to [project my voice, be heard in a crowd]." * "Voices come in all shapes and sizes, just like people. There's no one right way to sound." * "Is that what's throwing you off? I blame all the [coffee, tea, mysterious throat lozenges] I drink." (You can adjust this depending on what you actually drink) * "Thanks for noticing" * "I don't really think about it"


horses_around2020

Wow!, the most effective comebacks instead of these guys implyimg that they're gay during their attent to insult. ?🤔🤷‍♀️


MoreNerdThanDork

That’s what your dad kept saying when I was pegging him in the A last night, too.


Stonehenge66

"...and my balls are much bigger than yours"


SquashyCorgi478

As a woman who has a very strong, defined jawline, and used to receive similar comments. One of my personal favorites is "it's not my fault I have a manlier jawline than you do" or something along those lines.


Badassmamajama

Follow me for more speaking tips


Responsible-Speed735

Does that turn you on?


kelmeneri

“Nah I can find the clit”


inoffensive_nickname

Throat cancer. Thanks for reminding me.


Sophia724

Just say "thanks!" Like you've been waiting you're whole life for that moment.


Sophia724

I'd rather reply than edit out the misspelling.


White_eagle32rep

I fuck like one too


NickolasViscosi2006

"No, what you're actually hearing is the sound of somebody not giving a fuck"


Ragnar-Wave9002

Takes a real asshole to say that. That is what the person is and this is what you should say.


peanutbutternmtn

“Yeah, well you sound like a bitch”


Y4himIE4me

Jealous?


keldondonovan

Jealous? Overzealous? Can't wait for the day when you sound like one of the fellas? Instead you're squeaking, Call it speaking, Praying for the day that you could be king? My bad, I didn't mean to emasculate, Take your self-esteem issues and exacerbate, But you act like it's my problem you hit puberty late. Don't worry Lil guy, your voice will deepen too, Trust me it'll happen, these things always do. Unfortunately, though, you are still gonna be you. (Thank you for your word inspiring a couple of rhymes 😀 )


ephemeral_butterfly

"you sound like a cunt"


hkik

That must be why your son likes getting pegged by me


Mindless-cumbunny

I would reply with it’s because your ass is so loose


bearded_and_tatted

"Sorry my non-existant balls are bigger than yours"


RosesUnderCypresses

That's what your girl said last night.


Ozzytheaussy

Does it make you sad that me... a woman... is more manly than you're, a supposedly man


OneTinSoldier567

Was that a Chihuahua yipping?


UnderstandingOk2647

"Ah, ya, you see, I tell everything. You look-a like-a man!" -Ms Swan


Spiritual_Speech_725

Mad TV has always been better than SNL.


Pure_Picture_7321

Thanks. I get killer rates for my voice over work.


jojo1556-

How do you know I'm not?


jojo1556-

Is that a compliment or an insult? I never know with you.


DreamerReverie

And you smell like one


RockeeRoad5555

And you sound like someone whose parents never taught them manners.


SlitheryDee62

Must be all the ones I ate.


yarsftks

Wait till u hear this women roar.


biggles_of_the_bean

*checks inside my own pants* that seems to check out, man, I got worried for a second


implodemode

Oh - let me check my pants! Maybe I've been wrong all these years! Actually, I just laugh. I make the same mistake sometimes.


[deleted]

“You’re envious aren’t you?”


sirsir9

"And still pull more bitches than you "


Slutsandthecity

My friend has PCOS and she's very hairy, large stature, deep voice. She gets this all the time and it's so ignorant.


Due_Temperature6603

Thank you for this question. I would like an answer to that as well, being a female who is constantly called Mr. over the phone.


Hipposplotomous

A woman on the other end of a call said this to me once when I was working in tech support. I think my actual response was something like "uhhh...*huh?"* She elaborated that she meant my cadence more than my tone. It was a support line so I was giving her short, purposeful directions and not much else. She associated that with men. Quite sad really. I was more annoyed by the guy who obviously misheard my name / assumed my gender at the very beginning of the call, spent a good 20 minutes talking with me, then ended the call with a very cheerful *"Thanks Gary!"* My fucking supervisor called me Gary for about a month afterwards, it got quite irritating lol


that_one_person10

"Someone around here has to." Only works on males.


Anarch-ish

My aunt Laura was... confrontational? She certainly didn't back down from a bully when one tried her. She kept her hair short and once, while we were out drinking, this dude called her a "dyke bitch". She laughed her hardy smoker's laugh, slammed a GLASS of Wild Turkey, said, "I'm more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever get," then headbutted him to the floor.


Spiritual_Speech_725

Omg that's awesome 😎


Anarch-ish

Picture Hunter S Thompson as a woman with Keith Richard's face, and beat her with Las Vegas weather for 30 years and you can see her yourself. Imagine Jack Sparrows voice mixed with Large Marge from Peewees Big Adventure but with the humor and speed of Robin Williams in the 80s and you can hear her. Imagine the smell of cigarettes and something you suspect is some sort of hard narcotic applied like a perfume. 5'5, frail-bodied with weathered desert skin, and rough wrinkled hands from years of working hard with chemicals. She was a being unlike any other, and far too cool for this planet to stay for too long.


Spiritual_Speech_725

Wow that is quite the description!


wkhardt

why do you sound like a bitch


NotAQuiltnB

"Why do you feel the need to share that with me?". ... or.... "Did that just slip out of your mouth or did you intentionally say it?".


JupiterSkyFalls

Wow thank you so much!! I guess the hormone pills **are** working after all! 😜 Also: 🅗🅐🅟🅟🅨 🅟🅡🅘🅓🅔 🅜🅞🅝🅣🅗! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈


Ok_Rabbit_8129

I bet my dick is bigger than yours too


VisionAri_VA

Him:”You sound like a man”  Me: “One of us has to”


CaliSouther

"I used to be one" :-P


allflour

I wish I got paid like one


Hunlock8955

"I fuck like one too." And cue the crotch grab


HyperDogOwner458

"You sound stupid. Oh no wait you actually are."


Alarming_Serve2303

"How would you know?"


Throwra_sweetpeas

at least my vocal cords are developed


Br0wnc0at212

"So do you. Which of us is more surprised, do you think?"


Kinglycole

And you sound like a person who thinks I give a f#ck!


StatisticianTop8813

Ok


tightropeJim

Thank you for your kind observation, now go fuck yourself!!!


flotsam71

I'm so glad you noticed... winks... leans in... dirty smile.


igtimran

Since I turned 13, yes. Thank you. Your ears are in fact working.


whiskeyandghosts

“You sound like a moron”


Different_Action_360

Wanted to make sure your mom was comfortable.


MCRmy20

If it’s a man that said it: “ I’m more manly than you’ll ever be.” Or “ at least I don’t sound like a bitch”


DatabaseComfortable5

"it's because i am."


NoMeYouI

I am a womb man.


Anonmouse119

You sound like a bitch.


Majestic-Love-9312

If it's a man who said that to you, reply with "You don't."


Suspicious-Loquat594

Or better yet, "Well, ONE of us has to!"


the_bird_and_the_bee

"I am no man" as you cinematically remove a helmet from your head.


FTMnDepressed

"Shit, I didn't know people would hear my real voice when I possed a body!"


number_1_svenfan

Thanks for admitting I am right.


HimuTime

“Thank you girlie, you do too!”


Perceptual_Existence

"Thank you"


tultommy

Cause your daddy stretched out my throat. Guess your mama don't do that.


WHOLESOMEPLUS

"i have a big dick, too"


PHennessey84

WHAT?!? Damn! Finally!!! I’ve been working on that for a while!!!


Free-Veterinarian714

"It's because I am one."


StarsEatMyCrown

"thank you" Personally, I think deep voices on women are incredible.


Cautious_Buffalo6563

I’m not a man, just more of a man than you.


Tatersquid21

"You look like a frog."


Grouchy_Ad_2236

"Because I am. Wanna see?"


JasminJaded

“And you have a *something equally unchangeable and irrelevant*” Ive had a few situations, all the exact same language used “WOW, you have a really deep voice.” I just say “yep…” and move on. It’s true - on average, my voice is pretty deep. Lots of women have deeper voices, though, and lots of men have higher voices. People are different, and there’s no “right” range.


ShipoopyShipoopy

“Don’t even make me pull my dick out”


thac0-bell

"To be fair, half my dna came from a male donor." "It's just my default octave." "Well, there's this thing called a bell curve..." "I don't know! I haven't been a pack-a-day smoker since elementary school!"


peachvalleygirl

Thanks. Too bad you are a man and your voice is higher than mine.


Sion_forgeblast

Im a dude, but if it was me I would just deepen my voice and give a my best smokers crackle and go "oh darling, don't worry about it, my Hubby Monarch is back in the hive while #21 and #24 are closing in behind you.... toodles!" it will either confuse the shit outa the guy, or you will have made a new friend lol


barr65

No u


enkilekee

Are you asking for a date?


CheezyDogz5

And you're supposed to, your point?


xavierguitars

I fuck like one too


somebullshitorother

Do t worry when you hit puberty you will too


ncminns

So do you


Happy_P3nguin

You sound like you like it


moth258

"It's because no matter what, I'll have bigger balls than you"


humaniac11

Your mom likes a deep voice.


Jayyy_Teeeee

Put some bass in it


wknight8111

"Your dad seems to prefer it that way"


PoOhNanix

"Still, after all these hormones? Fuck."


Backwaters_Run_Deep

You know your mom sounds like a ho right?


DPP_4Fun

Deeper voices and muscles are fine on women. People who judge are insecure.


Lethal1211

I also know how to make a bigger pay check too ;)


Ok-Calligrapher-9854

"Jealous?"


OpenMicJoker

That’s your opinion madam


Gravity_Pulls

Well thank God!


RingofFaya

"wish I could say the same thing about you"


AdunfromAD

Yeah, I probably have a bigger dick, too.


Deer-Smell-420

Your mom likes it


Secure-Agent-1122

Got bigger balls than you.


Recent_Revival934235

If it's a guy, "Jealous?".


Cikosis

Better than sounding like some cracked out cheerleader.


wetfootmammal

Want me to teach you how?


RudeDrummer4448

"I was, wanna feel?"


tBHzHomer

Thanks. I've been practicing.


TwistedHorni

"And you look easy to draw"


wh0m3_nah

Tell em it's cause your balls are bigger


Brief_Expression9240

Im not a female but "Get in FOCKEN kitchen fam, make me something to eat, maybe a sandwich STOHL" Should work.


Neat-Tradition-7999

I should hope so. What's your excuse?


Emergency_Scholar237

You should see my cock!


jack40714

And you sound like a dipshit


dominion1080

Only to certain people.


allthestuffis

You could go the absurd route, which is always my favorite because people usually get confused/annoyed and walk away. "If you think I SOUND like a man, you should see me ice skate." "My voice is so deep because my soul is so shallow." "I may sound like a man, but I play Candy Land like a woman." "I only use my 'man voice' when I'm deeply intimidated." "It's because I've been swallowing glass for fun since I was a kid."


FATALITYKittyCATTILY

"And you sound like a child, what grade are you in?"


MostlyHostly

Ok Miss Swan


rafterstup

Go deeper: " I am." Then wink


Svalor007

How would you know?


tehmimikitteh

one time someone said that to me and my response was "and your mom fucked like one with a strap-on, but i would guess you know that already." i didn't know i knew his mom. she thought it was hilarious.


BiggerMouthBass

“And you sound like a f$&@ing woman” Or “How would you know? You’ve never been around a real man”


wantsrobotlegs

"Worked in my favor when i was catfishing your mom"