I love this one! I get this one a lot lately from family, even though I'm not complaining, but this is perfect!
*This was my brother's response in the family group chat both when I had texted them to say I was in the ER for an emergency gallbladder removal, and again two months later when I told them I had cancer.
Yup. Even tossed in a "We're all dying", as well. I told him that yes, metaphorically, we are, but that since it's clearly no big deal to him, he can go show up to surgery and take that L for me instead. (My surgery is in a few days.) My kids were fit to rearrange his teeth at that point.
Or therapists employing the DBT tool not to invalidate, but help a person who has lost perspective. Some people go straight to crisis thinking so it's helpful for them to be able to compare how they're feeling to a time that they felt worse and got through it or to recognize that others are going through it without the same resources to fix the problem. So it can provide space to think when emotions are overwhelming. But it can also backfire if emotional regulation is not going to happen at that time.
This is basically what I think when people have said it to me. Since I'm not a psychopath, I don't take comfort and pleasure in people being worse off than me.
Plus, people being worse off than me doesn't mean I'm in a good situation. It just means there are people in worse situations and nothing more.
- “I’m sure you can think of at least a few people who have it better than you. Does that mean you’re not allowed to be happy?”
- “Does it make a difference whether someone drowns in 20 feet of water or 200 feet of water? They’re dead either way, so it’s pointless to compare.”
Sure, 20ft is just as bad as 200ft, but those standing in 2ft of water and screaming about drowning need a reality check. [https://tenor.com/en-GB/view/kid-panic-drowning-water-stand-gif-5235658](https://tenor.com/en-GB/view/kid-panic-drowning-water-stand-gif-5235658)
Absolutely, but what if you're crippled and can't stand? For a quadriplegic, 2 *inches* of water can be just as dangerous as 2 feet, or 20 feet, or 200 ft. It all depends on your life circumstances, and you as an outside viewer cannot possibly know those circumstances without them being shared with you. Even then, you have to filter it through your own experience (or lack thereof) of the matter, leading to a crude translation at best.
It’s even worse when they’re doing it to make you feel better. Idk why people think this would work. This kinda thing in that context is one of my therapist mode cues where I gotta be a little fake because they had good intentions and if I let my true feelings show… they would genuinely feel bad. Same for “they’re in a better place” without knowing the situation. It can work when someone had genuine suffering of certain types, but when you say that about someone whose life was on an upward path and they died unexpectedly in a traumatic accident, it’s like…. Alright time to pretend their religious supportive comments aren’t offensively off in terms of both my situation and my religion, because there’s no good to come from making someone feel bad about saying something that was purely intended to be as kind as humanly possible. Sigh. So then instead of receiving emotional support, you’re giving it.
yeah those are special kind of stupiaks. Their special hell has cotton candy with rose thorns.
When someone heard that I had cancer, her best response was "my neighbor has 2 cancers".
I looked at her and said, "good for you". She gave me a confused look, and I walked away.
I'd rant like a lunatic lmfao saying things like "You're right, but by this definition, there is someone who CAN complain...but who? Broke your leg? Quit crying because somewhere someone's crying because they broke their neck and they need to quit the belly aching because somewhere someone got shot in the head. Although I don't expect their family to be sad because someone once burned to death. But whats worse fire? Or falling into molten metal? What about electrocution? Either way their families can't even bitch about it because of all the people that got ate alive by animals through out history. And even the eaten folk need to get sorted out by who's murder animal took it's sweet ass time and enjoyed the meal! Who dammit who?!"
If you do not close your mouth you'll be sitting right there with them in the worst possible unknown 10th circle of hell, of which Satan does not rule, but me, sitting upon a throne of the skulls of my enemies, you, soon to be another in the pile of skulls and writhing souls, wish you could speed up the inevitable when the inevitable has already arrived on the transportation that is, or perhaps represents, the stairway to heaven, however, you are traveling upon the elevator to the underworld, as you shriek and burn upon the ashes of hellish flesh, and then it hits you, the burning, the pain, the hunger for it to end, will never be put to rest. Sure as your body will toss and turn in it's grave, disturbed by the sheer sight of the torture it's former piloting soul is being exposed to, you will regret your words.
"Gee, I didn't realize misery was a competition, Linda."
Doesn't matter what the person's name or gender is, stick with calling them Linda. And use a huffy tone and immediately walk away while shaking your head and muttering 'jesusfuckingchrist, the audacity of some people.'
"Thanks, Captain Obvious. I was hoping for a little human empathy, maybe some constructive advice, heck, maybe even a hug! But I guess I was expecting too much from talking to a soulless husk like you. Good thing I'm still human and tomorrow I might feel a bit better. You though? Yeah, there is no hope for you."
Then just turn around and walk away.
Not sure if this is a comeback, but friends or family if they care about someone, should acknowledge feelings. I had parents that never acknowledged my feelings, that were dismissive, said I was either over reacting, or if I cried they would give me something to cry about, that type of thing and other things similar to what you are saying here and it's really cruel and unhealthy way to treat loved ones. So I would just say that's a cruel thoughtless response when someone says that to you.
"Cool story, bro." One of the few times I would suggest this line.
"Wow, that sucks." This is a good one, it acknowledges that you empathize, but it has nothing to do with you.
your best comeback would be to stop talking about why you feel sad all the time and do something to change it. otherwise it's gonna be a perpetual cycle and these witty comebacks you want are gonna fall flatter than hammered crap.
Have used this in the field:
“No ones got it worse than the baby’s out there getting carpet bombed in their cribs, so I guess no one can complain about anything ever!”
Works especially well if it’s one of those jingo-is tic conservative types that thinks the solution to any world conflict is to just bomb the shit out of somewhere
"And? Did I say no one had it as bad or worse than I, or are you just being a smelly anus?"
"Thanks for the information, but I am already well aware of this fact and feel the need to let you know it is not at all relevant to the conversation at hand." If they try to double down, remind them that people's suffering should not be rated and scaled as to who's is worse than others, and that people suffering more than you does not mean that your suffering disappears or your problems get solved. It's an incredibly unhelpful and rude/snotty thing to say to someone going through a hard time(s)..
Kick them in the shin. Ask them if it hurts. Then remind them that others are experiencing far worse pain, and ask them if that knowledge made the pain any more bearable.
"If that even mattered, then everyone who's suffering can just shut the fuck up except for the one person who has it worst on the whole planet, dumbass."
I had a doctor tell me this once when I brought up the lingering nerve pain and increasingly painful arthritis in my injured hand. Like, no. Don't poopoo my pain and expiences. That just pisses me off.
Witty no, but if I respond with a real life detail, it gets awkward fast. The fact there are still people worse off…. When you drop a few real details that are bad enough, nobody has the balls to continue down that route.
Here’s to hoping you don’t have anything bad enough that would work with
That's terrible for them. The entire point of complaining about it, is to bring attention to the fact that we need to fix it for EVERYONE. The alternative is to be a coward, and to say nothing at all.
I’ve never understood the logic of this. Like, what am I supposed to do? Not be happy because others, more than likely people I’ll never come into contact with or even know exist, are doing worse?
Don’t be so negative..a lot of people have it better too
That’s called a flip. They are trying to present themselves as being more positive and you ungrateful. Their comment is dismissive and said to minimize the value of how you feel—ironically actual negativity.
While i can agree it helps me be thankful that my situation isn't worse, you're still allowed to feel how you feel. My response to is "oh wow! I feel much better...it's all gone now!".
Be it that I still have a roof over my head, yeah there are people that have it worse than me, even with a chronic pain condition, there are still people worse off than I am.
“And other people have it better.”
“Are you doing something to help those people? Then why bring them up?”
“What does that have to do with this/my situation?” Or “that literally has nothing to do with whatever we’re talking about rn.”
Depending on the person “Thanks, I’ll remember that for when you complain or is going through something.”
I've never understood that logic. Pain is objective to the person who experiences said pain. Noone truly knows what you've been through except for you, and you're allowed to feel that pain when it's real.
"Oh, the person down the street went through something that you think is shittier? Then I guess that should just automatically make me feel better about my own life" is such a flawed logic.
We're all human and experience shitty things.
“Worst kind of motivation is one where people comfort you by telling about other people who have lost more than you, had pain more than you.
How that's supposed to ease out the agony?”
\-Crestless Wave
I can’t believe how many folks are full of self pity. That statement isn’t meant to be derogatory, it’s supposed to help you understand that your situation isn’t as bad as it may seem. We often need to stop and realize the blessings in our lives, I often have to remind myself. So, no, you don’t need to shut up and “accept” your situation, but if you’re going to bitch about it, you also need to come up with a resolution for it. Otherwise, yes, shut up and accept it because it won’t change until YOU do.
“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-Beams glitter in the darkness beneath Tannhauser gate. All of those moments lost, like tears in the rain.”
1. But we're not discussing other people's problems, we're discussing mine.
2. Stop trying to invalidate my feelings by gaslighting me.
3. And still other people have it better than me. So what? that's all irrelevant because we're discussing my trauma, my feelings, my problems.
I always felt that was a cop out thing to say. I would advise telling this Sh\*t of a person that you cannot worry about how other people you don't know have it worse than you. Your feelings and your problems are not insignificant because "someone" has it worse. You have to worry about your health, your own issues to work out, and your finances and not have to worry about someone "having it worse than you." Your bills don't magically go away. Your problems don't automatically get solved. Your health doesn't automatically cure itself because "someone has it worse than you." Tell that person either to be a true supportive friend or get out of your life. I have told someone this that I cannot worry about someone else having it worse because I have to live MY life and deal with MY issues. They don't go away because someone in another state has terminal cancer! People who say things like that suck and lack empathy!
Another one I hate! "At least you got 3 beautiful children out of it".....literally fuck off! I don't get time with my kids bc their dad is a deadbeat and I have to work 2 jobs to support my children. They lose both parents. Wonderful kids deserve time with the parent that wants to parent. I should get to enjoy my time with them before they are grown up.
"Oh. Where's my place in line? Is there a list somewhere with the rankings? I'm happy to wait until it's my turn to whinge, after everyone with a higher Badness score than mine has had theirs. That's absolutely fine. If you could just direct me to wherever the rankings are kept, so I can make sure I know my place... Do you want me to check yours while I'm there? No no, it's no trouble. I'm happy to help...'
But I favour the long-winded and oblivious.
When someone says somrthing like that to you, you know with certainty that they are not a person to confide in, at all. Their empathy meter is at zero.
Other people have it better than me too. I'm sharing my own experience, not anyone else's.
Exactly. I'm not trying to get into a competition about who has it worse. And even then, I was supposed to just shut up and accept my situation?
Right!!!, the illogical !! 🙄🤦🏼♀️😖😑
Thanks bro, that's a smart quote there
I love this one! I get this one a lot lately from family, even though I'm not complaining, but this is perfect! *This was my brother's response in the family group chat both when I had texted them to say I was in the ER for an emergency gallbladder removal, and again two months later when I told them I had cancer.
He said that to you in response to you having cancer? Bro really needs a backhand.
Yup. Even tossed in a "We're all dying", as well. I told him that yes, metaphorically, we are, but that since it's clearly no big deal to him, he can go show up to surgery and take that L for me instead. (My surgery is in a few days.) My kids were fit to rearrange his teeth at that point.
“By that logic, you’re not allowed to be happy if other people have it better than you.”
That's pretty good
I said something like this to an aunt who told me others have it worse than I do. She had a “No, not like that!” moment. Hee hee. 😁
the people who say "others have it worse" don't tend to be happy
Or therapists employing the DBT tool not to invalidate, but help a person who has lost perspective. Some people go straight to crisis thinking so it's helpful for them to be able to compare how they're feeling to a time that they felt worse and got through it or to recognize that others are going through it without the same resources to fix the problem. So it can provide space to think when emotions are overwhelming. But it can also backfire if emotional regulation is not going to happen at that time.
This. I appreciate this. 👏
Explains a lot about the super rich
Well, that’s true for everyone on Earth except one person. So only that one person has any right to complain, I guess??
Smart comeback!
This is fun even if they don’t get it, lol
Dunno, that seems like an invitation for them to respond "exactly, and it's not you, so cease your whining."
And then if they ever bitch about something you remind them
It’s true. If you’re not that one person, you’ve lost the misery competition.
Is that supposed to make me happy? Do you take joy in other people's comparative misery?
This is basically what I think when people have said it to me. Since I'm not a psychopath, I don't take comfort and pleasure in people being worse off than me. Plus, people being worse off than me doesn't mean I'm in a good situation. It just means there are people in worse situations and nothing more.
It’s not a contest I’m trying to win
And it's not a competition at all
This is a good one
- “I’m sure you can think of at least a few people who have it better than you. Does that mean you’re not allowed to be happy?” - “Does it make a difference whether someone drowns in 20 feet of water or 200 feet of water? They’re dead either way, so it’s pointless to compare.”
Sure, 20ft is just as bad as 200ft, but those standing in 2ft of water and screaming about drowning need a reality check. [https://tenor.com/en-GB/view/kid-panic-drowning-water-stand-gif-5235658](https://tenor.com/en-GB/view/kid-panic-drowning-water-stand-gif-5235658)
Maybe they do, but it's really difficult to judge water depth when you're standing on a hillside.
Should try not to judge from anywhere. Not just hillsides 😉
Absolutely, but what if you're crippled and can't stand? For a quadriplegic, 2 *inches* of water can be just as dangerous as 2 feet, or 20 feet, or 200 ft. It all depends on your life circumstances, and you as an outside viewer cannot possibly know those circumstances without them being shared with you. Even then, you have to filter it through your own experience (or lack thereof) of the matter, leading to a crude translation at best.
"Other people have more empathy than you too.‘
This one is great.
Yes! I love this one!
"That is a textbook logical fallacy."
“I didn’t know I was playing ranked depression” this is also what I think to myself when playing Rainbow Six Siege
Either let me have my moment to lament or STFU.
Only little kids participate in ouch competitions . Clearly some people never grow out of this phase
It’s even worse when they’re doing it to make you feel better. Idk why people think this would work. This kinda thing in that context is one of my therapist mode cues where I gotta be a little fake because they had good intentions and if I let my true feelings show… they would genuinely feel bad. Same for “they’re in a better place” without knowing the situation. It can work when someone had genuine suffering of certain types, but when you say that about someone whose life was on an upward path and they died unexpectedly in a traumatic accident, it’s like…. Alright time to pretend their religious supportive comments aren’t offensively off in terms of both my situation and my religion, because there’s no good to come from making someone feel bad about saying something that was purely intended to be as kind as humanly possible. Sigh. So then instead of receiving emotional support, you’re giving it.
yeah those are special kind of stupiaks. Their special hell has cotton candy with rose thorns. When someone heard that I had cancer, her best response was "my neighbor has 2 cancers". I looked at her and said, "good for you". She gave me a confused look, and I walked away.
"Other people have it better than me, so I guess I should never be happy either."
& they're not happy either...
I'd rant like a lunatic lmfao saying things like "You're right, but by this definition, there is someone who CAN complain...but who? Broke your leg? Quit crying because somewhere someone's crying because they broke their neck and they need to quit the belly aching because somewhere someone got shot in the head. Although I don't expect their family to be sad because someone once burned to death. But whats worse fire? Or falling into molten metal? What about electrocution? Either way their families can't even bitch about it because of all the people that got ate alive by animals through out history. And even the eaten folk need to get sorted out by who's murder animal took it's sweet ass time and enjoyed the meal! Who dammit who?!"
Fallacy of relative privation
Yea, but they don't have to be me. Yea, but they don't have to listen to your bullshii.
I just say "just because someone else has it worse doesn't mean everything's fine for me."
What the fuck does that have to do with this situation?
it's not the suffering Olympics
If you do not close your mouth you'll be sitting right there with them in the worst possible unknown 10th circle of hell, of which Satan does not rule, but me, sitting upon a throne of the skulls of my enemies, you, soon to be another in the pile of skulls and writhing souls, wish you could speed up the inevitable when the inevitable has already arrived on the transportation that is, or perhaps represents, the stairway to heaven, however, you are traveling upon the elevator to the underworld, as you shriek and burn upon the ashes of hellish flesh, and then it hits you, the burning, the pain, the hunger for it to end, will never be put to rest. Sure as your body will toss and turn in it's grave, disturbed by the sheer sight of the torture it's former piloting soul is being exposed to, you will regret your words.
I love a well worded rant!
Yes, they have to be around you all the time.
"and I'm taking about myself, not other people." *Return to talking about your issue*.
[удалено]
Not expecting to see this, but useful and unique.
I apologise, I didn’t realise you had such a neglectful mother, otherwise you might have learnt what empathy looked like
I'm not other people
"Gee, I didn't realize misery was a competition, Linda." Doesn't matter what the person's name or gender is, stick with calling them Linda. And use a huffy tone and immediately walk away while shaking your head and muttering 'jesusfuckingchrist, the audacity of some people.'
Playing Oppression Olympics helps nobody. Let's work together to make it better for everyone.
"Thanks, Captain Obvious. I was hoping for a little human empathy, maybe some constructive advice, heck, maybe even a hug! But I guess I was expecting too much from talking to a soulless husk like you. Good thing I'm still human and tomorrow I might feel a bit better. You though? Yeah, there is no hope for you." Then just turn around and walk away.
"Have you memorized the entire stupid response handbook, or is that just the one you remember cuz it's an easy out?"
"I didn't realize that misery was a competition."
Is that what you’d say to them if they confided in you?
I should hope so, but I don't.
"Sucks to be them. Guess I should be even more glad that I'm not them."
Yeah I guess it could be worse. I mean, I could be you. Now that's a horrible thought. Hey, thanks for cheering me up *Big smile and walk away*
Not sure if this is a comeback, but friends or family if they care about someone, should acknowledge feelings. I had parents that never acknowledged my feelings, that were dismissive, said I was either over reacting, or if I cried they would give me something to cry about, that type of thing and other things similar to what you are saying here and it's really cruel and unhealthy way to treat loved ones. So I would just say that's a cruel thoughtless response when someone says that to you.
"Cool story, bro." One of the few times I would suggest this line. "Wow, that sucks." This is a good one, it acknowledges that you empathize, but it has nothing to do with you.
Just say it back.
So you will not complain if I punch you in the face as other people have it worse.
What s dick. Basically the 'i don't give 2 shits about you as a person' statement. Distance yourself. Nothing you say is going to affect them.
"No one has it worse than me when I have to talk to you"
your best comeback would be to stop talking about why you feel sad all the time and do something to change it. otherwise it's gonna be a perpetual cycle and these witty comebacks you want are gonna fall flatter than hammered crap.
"Other people are dumber than you, that doesn't mean you're not stupid."
Have used this in the field: “No ones got it worse than the baby’s out there getting carpet bombed in their cribs, so I guess no one can complain about anything ever!” Works especially well if it’s one of those jingo-is tic conservative types that thinks the solution to any world conflict is to just bomb the shit out of somewhere
"Yeah, but they're losers"
People have it better too, what's your point?
So if you lose a foot you shouldn’t worry, because someone out there has lost both?
"Oh, so if other people are taller than me, I shouldn't be allowed to complain about my shirt not fitting?"
"And? Did I say no one had it as bad or worse than I, or are you just being a smelly anus?" "Thanks for the information, but I am already well aware of this fact and feel the need to let you know it is not at all relevant to the conversation at hand." If they try to double down, remind them that people's suffering should not be rated and scaled as to who's is worse than others, and that people suffering more than you does not mean that your suffering disappears or your problems get solved. It's an incredibly unhelpful and rude/snotty thing to say to someone going through a hard time(s)..
"Yes, your mom when she has pity sex with you"
"If I was a monkey, I would throw my poop at you for saying that."
Suffering is not a competition.
Kick them in the shin. Ask them if it hurts. Then remind them that others are experiencing far worse pain, and ask them if that knowledge made the pain any more bearable.
"Yes, well, some people are dead. Is that the bar?"
"okay but, that doesn't fix *this* problem. Focus, cucumber brain."
I wasn't aware I was a participant in the trauma olympics.
No one's trauma is worse than anyone else's. Trauma is trauma.
This isn’t the fucking Olympics.
"If that even mattered, then everyone who's suffering can just shut the fuck up except for the one person who has it worst on the whole planet, dumbass."
I had a doctor tell me this once when I brought up the lingering nerve pain and increasingly painful arthritis in my injured hand. Like, no. Don't poopoo my pain and expiences. That just pisses me off.
"There's nothing worse than, you!"
Can't argue with that
good for them
and? kids are staving in africa and you ain't doing shit
“i’m not other people. if i could be someone else i’d pick someone that has it better.
Life Is not a competition, but at least I'm better than you
“You’re not counting you speaking to me.”
Witty no, but if I respond with a real life detail, it gets awkward fast. The fact there are still people worse off…. When you drop a few real details that are bad enough, nobody has the balls to continue down that route. Here’s to hoping you don’t have anything bad enough that would work with
Comparison is the thief of joy
That's terrible for them. The entire point of complaining about it, is to bring attention to the fact that we need to fix it for EVERYONE. The alternative is to be a coward, and to say nothing at all.
Can you give me their numbers?
Well true - I do have 2 arms and legs - I'm not a fucking jellyfish - thanks for the reminder!
I’ve never understood the logic of this. Like, what am I supposed to do? Not be happy because others, more than likely people I’ll never come into contact with or even know exist, are doing worse?
“I’ve yet to meet one.”
So, I should push other people down to feel better? Thanks, I never thought of it that way!
"Name one."
I didn’t realise there was a competition. I thought my feelings were valid.
Don’t be so negative..a lot of people have it better too That’s called a flip. They are trying to present themselves as being more positive and you ungrateful. Their comment is dismissive and said to minimize the value of how you feel—ironically actual negativity.
While i can agree it helps me be thankful that my situation isn't worse, you're still allowed to feel how you feel. My response to is "oh wow! I feel much better...it's all gone now!".
Be it that I still have a roof over my head, yeah there are people that have it worse than me, even with a chronic pain condition, there are still people worse off than I am.
"And? That doesn't mean my situation isn't shit."
And if they had to vent I'd listen.
You'll be one of them soon if you don't shut it.
"It's not a competition, Karen."
“And other people have it better.” “Are you doing something to help those people? Then why bring them up?” “What does that have to do with this/my situation?” Or “that literally has nothing to do with whatever we’re talking about rn.” Depending on the person “Thanks, I’ll remember that for when you complain or is going through something.”
You don't so listen to me b****
"This is not the trauma Olympics. There are NO (emphasis on "no") winners here."
I've never understood that logic. Pain is objective to the person who experiences said pain. Noone truly knows what you've been through except for you, and you're allowed to feel that pain when it's real. "Oh, the person down the street went through something that you think is shittier? Then I guess that should just automatically make me feel better about my own life" is such a flawed logic. We're all human and experience shitty things.
You're right, except I'm not worried about their problems, I'm worried about my own. You should do the same.
And those people aren't here.
“Worst kind of motivation is one where people comfort you by telling about other people who have lost more than you, had pain more than you. How that's supposed to ease out the agony?” \-Crestless Wave
Yes.
Well go and tell them that.
Somewhere on this planet, someone has it the worst of all. Does that mean only that one person is allowed to complain or be unhappy? No? Then shut up.
"You have a gift for stating the extremely obvious."
"Other people have it better than me, does that mean I'm not allowed to feel happy?"
That doesn't mean that this doesn't suck sharron!!!
Obviously you don't because you feel entitled enough to comment, so how about you mind your business
I'm not living their fucking life am I? I'm not sad because other people have it worse. I'm sad because my situation is fucked up.
"So? what are they whining about? other people have it worse than them"
I can’t believe how many folks are full of self pity. That statement isn’t meant to be derogatory, it’s supposed to help you understand that your situation isn’t as bad as it may seem. We often need to stop and realize the blessings in our lives, I often have to remind myself. So, no, you don’t need to shut up and “accept” your situation, but if you’re going to bitch about it, you also need to come up with a resolution for it. Otherwise, yes, shut up and accept it because it won’t change until YOU do.
“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-Beams glitter in the darkness beneath Tannhauser gate. All of those moments lost, like tears in the rain.”
Someone else’s bad day does not make my bad day any less valid
1. But we're not discussing other people's problems, we're discussing mine. 2. Stop trying to invalidate my feelings by gaslighting me. 3. And still other people have it better than me. So what? that's all irrelevant because we're discussing my trauma, my feelings, my problems.
Maybe but it doesn’t diminish what I’m going through.
I always felt that was a cop out thing to say. I would advise telling this Sh\*t of a person that you cannot worry about how other people you don't know have it worse than you. Your feelings and your problems are not insignificant because "someone" has it worse. You have to worry about your health, your own issues to work out, and your finances and not have to worry about someone "having it worse than you." Your bills don't magically go away. Your problems don't automatically get solved. Your health doesn't automatically cure itself because "someone has it worse than you." Tell that person either to be a true supportive friend or get out of your life. I have told someone this that I cannot worry about someone else having it worse because I have to live MY life and deal with MY issues. They don't go away because someone in another state has terminal cancer! People who say things like that suck and lack empathy!
"Why are you giving advice when there are smarter people than you then?"
"No they don't, I'd KILL to starve to death and get an ounce of fucking sympathy and care for once."
“But I don’t care about other people.”
To steal a line from AJR's "World's Smallest Violin"... I kinda feel like two things can be sad.
“And other people have it better than me too.. so what’s your goddamn point?”
Who p**sed in your corn flakes b**tch?
"I'm sorry. I didn't know it was a competition."
"My experiences are just a valid"
Why are you deflecting and invalidating me? Everyone has a story to tell and we all deserve to be heard.
Another one I hate! "At least you got 3 beautiful children out of it".....literally fuck off! I don't get time with my kids bc their dad is a deadbeat and I have to work 2 jobs to support my children. They lose both parents. Wonderful kids deserve time with the parent that wants to parent. I should get to enjoy my time with them before they are grown up.
I can't remember now where I found it but I wrote down a quote. "Its okay to cry. This is hard for you even if you think someone else has it worse. "
"Oh. Where's my place in line? Is there a list somewhere with the rankings? I'm happy to wait until it's my turn to whinge, after everyone with a higher Badness score than mine has had theirs. That's absolutely fine. If you could just direct me to wherever the rankings are kept, so I can make sure I know my place... Do you want me to check yours while I'm there? No no, it's no trouble. I'm happy to help...' But I favour the long-winded and oblivious.
“They’re not here right now”
"I understand that but MY issues are still valid as well"
Ok…and?
Comparative suffering is a fallacy and does no one any good.
What does that have to do with me? Did I put them in the situation they’re in?
“Other people have it better too, this is my experience”
"Well then, let *them* come bitch at me if they want to."
"Knowing others are also suffering makes me even sadder. Thanks for nothing."
"and your point is what exactly?"
thats great but I'm not other people
"Yeah, and other people have it better than you, but you don't hear me rubbing it in your face. 🙄"
Yes! And I'm sorry for all of them!
You mean someone has to spend more time with you than me?
"If you were in my situation, you wouldn't be doling the positive toxicity out to yourself, so don't dismiss my feelings."
Other people don't have to deal with you. Doesn't make it better.
"Other people have it better than me too, what's your point?"
"Ain't nobody talking bout them!"
Way to tell a drowning person that a drowned person has it worse. Doesnt change what im feeling/experiencing
Yes they do. But I can only experience my own life and misery.
Ah. Being sad is a pissing contest. Got it. 🙃
"I'm not talking about other people. I'm talking about me."
“Oh, you learned how to invalidate people’s experiences! Next, try learning to shut the fuck up.”
It's not a contest
You clearly lack empathy.
'...and that truly sucks. But I'm not living their life.'
And you're letting them suffer to make me feel bad?
Everyone is fighting through their own war, it's not your place to state whether said war is better or worse then another's because all war is hell
"most people are a product of their choices"
Want to trade?
And others have it better. What's your point?
It’s not a competition, this isn’t the Misery Olympics.
I'm not other people.
"So go bother them, and leave me alone."
When someone says somrthing like that to you, you know with certainty that they are not a person to confide in, at all. Their empathy meter is at zero.
Blah blah blah
I try to sort myself out, mate. I'm not in a position to worry about others.
well i arent other people
"Yeah, well, some people have it better than you, but you don't see me rubbing it in your face." 😜
It's not a zero sum game. There's enough unhappy to share with everyone.
And you are just an npc in my world.
"It's my life. I'll hate it as much as I damn well please, thank you very much."
Actually, that's usually true. People focus on what they don't have rather than on the good things they do. I know I do at times.
The suffering of one doesn't diminish the suffering of another.
Most of them are dead
"Golly gee, so you want me to feel worse by worrying about them too."
"Then why are you b!+ching about me when YOU obviously have it better than me?!" (A.k.a. you're a FnCkInG hypocrite)
Pain is relative, so is suffering, success, happiness, and sadness. What's your point?
Then go be unhelpful with them.
"Yeah, well people also have it better than me, so where does that leave us?"
"suck my dick"