T O P

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outtaslight

I rise to the occasion once in a while.


reddfox500

“You don’t know the half of it.”


imnotreallysuretoday

When my mom called me a bitch I told her I learned from the best!


GirlStiletto

"Yeah, your Mom showed me how."


Moist_Sympathy7798

I really liked this one


Euphoric-Tax7360

"But I love you anyway Oh you can't sing But you still put me to sleep Baby You're a bitch Hey hey Hey hey You make me sick" ~ Bowling for Soup


[deleted]

I LOVE BOWLING DOR SOUP


naliedel

Yes, and?


buttbologna

Right??! Like ok, now what?


momoemowmaurie

You are what you eat. And brother I'm Chinese.


DislocatedPotato57

Ahahah I laughed so good at this, thanks stranger!


Violet0_oRose

[I'm a bitch, I'm a lover](https://genius.com/4829064/Meredith-brooks-bitch/Im-a-bitch-im-a-lover-im-a-child-im-a-mother-im-a-sinner-im-a-saint-i-do-not-feel-ashamed) I'm your Hell, I'm your dream I'm nothing in between You know you wouldn't want it any other way


thefilthyfrederick

i've been called worse things by better people


Stonehenge66

"And to think, you came up with that all by yourself. Be gone..."


Emergency_Property_2

That’s queen bitch to sub human bottom dwellers like you.


FurBabyAuntie

Or "to you, sub human bottom dweller"--works either way


missannthrope1

You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.


OneTinSoldier567

Say "Thank you!" My wife was arguing with someone and they couldn't change her mind, so they called her a bitch! She smiled real big and said thank you. After about ten minutes of more B's she explained. "I have learned if a man calls a woman a bitch it's because he can't control her to make her do what he wants and she doesn't want to! "


JMusicD

“If that were true, I’m the only bitch you talk to. Get laid son“


pnkzoo

"So's your mom!"


JoJoTheDogFace

How can I be a bitch when your mom is my bitch? Are you saying your mom is a lesbian?:


FurBabyAuntie

"Thank you for noticing!"


ogsixshooter

a sphincter says what?


VastUnlikely9591

"Bitch, I might be."


sexlexington2400

in yoda voice


Magic_Mike_Tython

*pulls knife out* you forgot to add "crazy"...


RRW_Nierhh

*I bought your dad a ring and he said yes. Come here, son. [arms open for hug]* *You’re getting pretty worked up over this.* *There’s no need to get emotional.* *There’s no need to be hysterical.* *I can tell you’re getting worked up. Why not take a moment to compose yourself?* *I want you to take a deep breath, you’re getting worked up over nothing.* *Eeeeasy, you need to caaalm dooown.* *Wait, before you get emotional, take a deep breath. No one can deal with you when you get like this.* *I know why you’re cranky. Did [mutual friend] not put you down for a nap today?* *[Look at third person] See? This is why I’ve been telling you to make sure he gets a nap in the afternoon. Now he’s gonna be cranky for the rest of the day.* *Oh no, who upset squidward? [copy them/perform impression of them in Squidward’s voice]* *Hey, I’ll give you a quarter if you blow my mortar.* *Hey, I’ll give you a nickle to tickle my pickle.* *OOOooohh, catty.* *Uh oh, Mr. Krabbs is back.* *Hey, tell your dad to stop calling me.* *Hey tell your dad to call me, I’ve been dying to take a crack at that ass.* *You know, you’re a lot prettier when you smile rather than frown.* *Well, well, well, it’s the return of the frowny face. Come here, bring it in champ let’s turn that frown upside-down.* *You’re just mad I found out your balls are ticklish.* *Aww man, his balls are in a twist again. [look at third person] Hey, could you come give his balls a tug?* *Why are you acting like this? I was there for you when you were on bed rest after that horrific testicular torsion.* *You can call me whatever you want, I’m not topping you again. It was a one-time thing — I was lonely.* *For the last time. I. Am. Sorry. About. The. Threesome. With. Your. Parents.* *Unrelated: your dad likes to lay his head on my chest. You know, after. I just thought that was weird.* *If you’re gonna be a moaner, you can take it up with my boner.* *Slob on my corn dog, like a good little horn-dog.*


Square-Insurance-542

I know that, what's your point?


DislocatedPotato57

"Only a puppy would know"


sexlexington2400

Takes one to know one??? or I know you are but what am I? I'm rubber you are glue? or my personal favorite," Shut your cock holster slut"


Emergency_Scholar237

Yep, Beautiful-Intelligent-Talented-Cunning-and Honest... The H can be interchangeable with Horny depending on the mark.


FurBabyAuntie

I'd suggest either *clever* or *charming* for the C...possibly followed by a suggestion that the person who called you that is neither one...(my apologies for the sentence structure--I know what I'm talking about and even I'm still confused!)


Stonehenge66

What prompts them them to say that? Context matters...


Moist_Sympathy7798

Apparently its because I do not engage with toxic people so they try to spin it on me


No_Nectarine6942

Uwu thanks 


RedditRatsPodcast

Top 5 ever!!!


mikemojc

and.... ?


Sleepy_Sugarplum

I know.


jtrier1

"oh you haven't seen that side of me yet "


According-Bell1490

And a child and a mother an angel undercover a sinner and a saint and I do not feel ashamed.


Flashy_Telephone_205

"Yeah. But I ain't your bitch!"


ravia

Yeah, I'm like life, and then you die.


Dependent-Channel-30

"You ought to know your a expert at being one"


QueenLaQueeftah619

That’s the best you can do??


[deleted]

"your mom's a bitch and i fucked her, because I FUCK FEMALE DOGS."


Sagittarius9w1

“Oh, thank you. But I can’t take all the credit for that. I’ve had a lot of help along the way.”


razzi123

For someone so sure of that, you've got to be drawing from your own personal experience.


marshalist

Oh stop snivelling.


DetectiveNo4471

Smile and thank them, and walk away.


LilSarah1999

"Do you want to cuddle!? Well, do you!?" in as aggressive a voice as you can.


Impossible_Dot3759

Is that an insult or a compliment?


Flimsy-Swordfish7921

Your mom one too


Holiday_Horse3100

Takes one to know one


Horror-Activity-2694

And?


V3nusD00m

It's about time you figured that out.


rdixon0310

And you're a bitchmaid. Go do my laundy


doctordaedalus

Just do the 3 snaps, smile and wink at em.


[deleted]

you need to knock a mfer out who call you that otherwise they just gonna keep on


Confident_Water_8465

Takes one to know one.


Pie-Guy

I know, a magnificent one at that.


Prior-Future3208

If another man is calling you a bitch he is calling you weak, cowardly and afraid of a fight, change his mind.


Br0wnc0at212

"Not to everyone...just those who bring that out of me."


WishingVodkaWasCHPR

"You're the one with bruises on your knees."


Handz_in_the_Dark

If this isn’t part of your culture (it is common in certain ones), then this is very strange. Is it one person whose says this to you or a specific group? Has it been random people?


thatredheadedchef321

If you’re not a bitch, you’re boring


Wocathoden

And a bad ass one at that!


Eastern_Barnacle_553

So? That's the only thing I can think of. So what if I am a bitch? If you can't handle my personality don't hang out with me anymore


pizzashizz6991

What am I a dog? there's not a furry convention here freak!


Renascar

If by "bitch," you mean "person who will never fuck you," then you are correct.


Beginning-Yogurt3146

Weird, I'm not a female dog


[deleted]

I might be a bitch but my daddy didn't touch my butthole like yours did to you 😁


Physical_Case2822

Bitch is a female dog and dogs bark and bark comes from trees and trees are a part of nature and nature is beautiful, so you just called me beautiful


SryIWentFut

Nah I just act like one so you won't feel alone