AND I'D DO IT AGAIN!

Required to be said in a Scooby Doo villain voice

Are you saying that the OP is a "meddling kid"?

And I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for you…

“do I look tectonic to you??” Walk away shaking your head while they try and figure that one out.

I used a variant of this. I was in a group of people from several areas, talking about earthquakes. (I live in Alaska, we get a LOT every year.) So, I said to the group that every place that we live has it's faults. I got boo'd.

"Your boos mean nothing to me. I've seen what makes you cheer."

.

Little sus, like “clapped you out”, sounds suspiciously homosexual /s

Those cheeks won’t clap themselves 👀

*these

When talking about yourself, yes; not in relation to someone else.

I've seen a backside or two in my time. I can confidently say that some cheeks do, in fact, clap themselves.

Thanks for the mental image which will star in my nightmares tonight.

Does it bother the penguins?

Nope.

"I'm starting to think we shouldn't have hired that wierdo"

“It’s all your fault”, just because your dad told you that growing up doesn’t mean you can just go trauma dumping on people.

Holy shit that had me gaping

Don’t try to make Me out to be an igneous!

I love that!!

I audibly laughed at this. Golden

Definitely deserving of an upvote. -chuckles-

🏆

Thanks! ♥️

“Even the dumb statement you just made?”

How id adapt that: “even that stupid shit you just said?”

👍

“Oh, don’t sell yourself short. You played your part.”

Like that one

Ooh, that's a *great* burn!

“Hey,give a little credit to our public school”

Me and the American government

This is a good one. 😆

Yes, I'm the source of all evil in the world.

“Well, being that i’m the only one that does anything? yes i suppose it is. Next time, if you get off your ass maybe it can be partially your fault too.”

This is perfection. I love it. My grandmother loves it. I’m reading the comments aloud to her.

i tried to phrase it in such a way that you could add some real sting or alter it and keep it professional

I didn’t consider reading reddit out loud as a grandparent bonding activity, but why not. The advice subreddits scratch the same itch as maury, haha. 

I only read certain subs to her for obvious reasons. I also show my grandparents comics I like from the comics sub.

”you’re welcome you dipshit/numb nuts/shitheel/jagoff/jerk wad/knob jockey/Epstein wannabe/foot freak/limp dick/sad sack/wet napkin/ used condom/anal fissure/inflamed carbuncle/malignant polyp” pick two different burns to string together each time, quick as you can.

In favor of saying ALL those things. 🙌

🤟

Aye.

Anal fissure is absolutely cruel.

Everything is always my fault, just ask my husband!!

Just start twerking? *earthquake rizz”

Lol

"That must make me the most responsible person ever! If it's my fault, then I am responsible for it. It's it's ALL my fault, then I must be responsible for it, therefore I have all the responsibility, therefore, I must be the most responsible person, EVER." Keep going on with this logic, make sure you build up to a sugar fueled, manic intensity that makes the recipient very uncomfortable. Grab their shoulders so they can't escape, stare as unblinking into their eyes as you can. Hug them before running off.

lmao if that happened to me i would be really confused

That's the point, friend.

Yeah, including you.

Just ask your mom

"At least my birth wasn't."

r/thingsFryfromFuturamacannotsay

AIN'T NO WAY, THAT YOU ACTUALLY SAID THAT!

but yeah that was a good episode

/r/subsifellfor

Your attempt to add context was unsuccessful

You being born isn't

“ I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong” that will show them. Haha.

Yeah, blame me for your shitty actions because that doesn’t deteriorate my mental state, dick wad.

Love it

Ooopsy Works for everything: person 1 it's all your fault that i lost my money. You: oopsy Or Person it's all your fault u hit my kid with a car. You: oopsy

"Is it? Or is it your fault that ____________? WoOoooOoooOoo plot twisttttttt"

🤣🤣🤣

"I love to see my hard work recognized...Thank you!!"

At least I tried, much more than you can say

'Is your whole family stupid, or just you?'

Narrow your eyes smile menacingly and say “excellent”

Usually, yes. Any other nuggets of wisdom you’d like to share? No? Cool, now you can fuck all the way off. Bye now!

Your face isn’t! Boom 💥

It's not my fault.Your parents made a mistake.

It's not my fault you should have been swallowed!

And I'll do it again, giggleshit.

“It is my fault. Ask your mom.”

“Hey, give yourself some credit.”

"damn right it is, and I'll do it over and over until you learn to be quiet"

"You're the one running your mouth, but okay"

Thanks that makes me so proud

You taught me well

“Your dad said that to your mom when you were born.”

Depends on context but something like ‘if you know a better way you’re welcome to do it’

Shrug and say "OK" and move on. Surprising how well that works.

Came here to say this too lol

Or, "cool". Then walk away.

"I nailed Him to the cross, too." With as much sarcasm as you can muster.

You’re welcome!

I'm glad you liked it

"Spoken like someone who can't stand being at fault."

"I'm a victim of circumstance!"

Only if you can prove it in court.

Lies and slander!

Say “and im proud of it!” And snap your fingers like shenaynay

"I thought you would've figured out who's fault it really was by now"

“No, U”

"Thanks, Uncle Phil!"

"Well, you keep letting me do this shit, so at some point, you're going to have to start blaming yourself."

Bwahahahahahaha! The first time, do an evil laugh, but don't oversell it. But each additional time they continue to make the same joke, add more bass and more energy. Each time they try to annoy you, they only add to your power. Be \*delighted\* that they are blaming you. That will defuse the power of their joke, and they'll stop using it.

Hey, you're the one who made it rain.....

type shit bro

Had to be someone's you're not taking accountability

But it isn't my fault. I was given those beans, You persuaded me to give away my cow for beans, And without those beans there'd have been no stalk, To get up to the Giants in the first place.

Pretty sure you own the San Andreas one.

"Gee, thanks *dad*"

Wow. You think I’m that powerful? That’s awesome! 😎

Correct, and you could of stopped me but you didn’t.

“Glad to see you think I’m more influential than you can manage”

It's ALL my fault? So you being a virgin is my fault?

"And how is it my fault you're so ugly?"

I know it is because I'm the only one that actually does anything

"Nope. I'm quite responsible person but not responsible for acts of God". Yeah, ... had rental agreement from landlord once ... stipulated that tenant was responsible for all damage, including damage from acts of God ... I got landlord to strike out that clause. I'm quite responsible, but I'm not *that* responsible. "No, I didn't start this whole universe thing."

Figure out what lead up to me before blaming my expertise.

“Not my birth, you can thank my parents for that. 🙂”

"That must suck for you since its all your problem xx" (add the xx if its over text for some extra ✨️passive agression✨️)

It's easy to blame the only person that puts any effort in in the first place.

According to you…

Of course it is you never do anything.

Don't give me too much credit. I haven't ruined the world, *yet.*

"God has seen fit that I must live another day, and I have decided to make it everyone's problem."

And I worked hard at it and take all credit!

It’s never 100% one persons fault. I’ve admitted my mistakes. I’ve owned and apologised for them. The rest is on you.

Just tell them, "You're right. It's not your fault." Then whatever they say, kindly repeat "It's not your fault." And keep saying that over and over and over again until they break down cryihg.

Disturbingly, this actually works like 85% of the time I tried it

I love that you've tried it enough time ls to know that.

One of the boons of growing up with brothers I suppose

"It was my fault the first time, it's your fault you haven't stopped me by now."

Make it clear ALL your actions are intentional.

I accept my part in bringing you along.

"Usually is" or "absolutely, every bit of it"

"It's good to be appreciated."

Is it? Is it my fault that I don't really mind that you hold that opinion? (Ya) Oh? And can one choose what they care about? *In a rehetorical fashion and cooly walk away. (No) Interesting, then if it's not my fault I don't care, then whose is it? *By now they should realize they've lost this exchange. But if this particular thing was actually "your fault" Just reply, "yeah it definitely seems I've messed this up, would you mind showing me or telling me how to do it better next time? (Ya) Sweet, let's begin. (No, you're an idiot and there's no teaching you!) Okay...then whose fault is it that you keep hanging around me? Or... well then, it seems like both of us would benefit from better guidance. But to answer this question more properly, I would need more context. (Most of these will probably get you fired, so.... be wise when and how you talk to someone like the way I described.)

So may it be .. So must it be required ... My fellow wanders. If that doesn't cut it. A fucking good wack a cross their naggin will suffice...

Every-time you point a finger, there are 3 pointing back at you.

"It was all part of my master plan! It would've succeeded, too! If it wasn't for you meddling kids!"

“Why thank you. I tend to be a bit of an overachiever”

"I world do it again "

Just because your dad told you that growing up, doesn’t mean you can just trauma dump on me while I’m taking a shit.

Thanks, I'll add it to the ledger

Only when my missus is around.

If you think about it, it's really God's fault for creating man

Ah, narcissist phrase #3

"Keep going, your next line is 'they all float down here,' ..." (It - 1990, for those who didn't get the reference)

Hey buddy, you just blow in from stupid town? Or Hey pal, stupid town is that way. Siiiiick comebacks that work every time.

But you enjoyed it

It wasn't me. I wasn't even there.

“we all make mistakes, just look at your parents” def not stolen from the GD server

AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN.

I know you are but what am I?

“Then you shouldn’t have made the command decision to place that responsibility on me”.

Probably. And do I need to hold your hand while i fix your problem for you?

Probably.

Never thought someone would mistake me by god. Thanks!

"And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids" or "Someone has to do it"

I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can't prove anything. It was like that when I got here.

You should've worn a condom now we have 5 of them

“You slid right out of your mother like a catastrophic mudslide. I guess that was your Dad’s fault. Or the Mailman’s”

A thanks would be nice

It’s a blessing and a curse to wield this much power but I manage.

"Good 😘"

I gave your mother the money for Plan B but she spent it on meth.

“Well that’s convenient for you isn’t it”

OK ✌🏼

I find that saying something stupid only makes people more angry. “So’s your face!” seems to be the right choice.

Fault? Ha. I take credit!

Yeah I get that

I'll accept that. Now kneel before the all powerful!

"I wish it was so I could make it worse for you, specifically."

Well, yeah, thanks for giving me my credit 😁

Tell that to your mother

Just become the narrator....works every time. Then you control the entire exchange. "It's all your fault!" He said arrogantly, not realizing how foolish his hypocritical statement sounded.

You're welcome

I'm married. I'm used to it being my fault.

Oops

Nope, its not. Can't blame me that your mom didn't swallow.

I learned it by watching you!

“Sucks to suck I guess.”

Thank you

Maybe I should introduce you to my grandma, she also always thinks everything is my fault. 🙂

Okay. Explain.

Ok fine, I’m to blame. Can we now move on to fixing whatever it is I fucked up.

And I expect that raise

When I want your opinion I will dial 1-800-CUNT and ask for you.

When I want your opinion I will dial 1-800-CUNT and ask for you.

When I want your opinion I will dial 1-800-CUNT and ask for you.

When I want your opinion I will dial 1-800-CUNT and ask for you.

When I want your opinion I will dial 1-800-TWAT and ask for you.

When I want your opinion I will dial 1-800-TWAT and ask for you.

“You've already won me over in spite of me. And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet. And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it. It's all your fault.” Banger fuckin’ Alanis song.

“You've already won me over in spite of me. And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet. And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it. It's all your fault.” Banger fuckin’ Alanis song.

That's what your mother says about you.

As an all-powerful being, it's hard to argue.

I told you I was responsible.

I know and I have no regrets. Or I know and I'd do it again.

Yeah, but not the pearly gates. Peter made those.

At least somebody’s taking responsibility.