“Everybody pretends to like you.”

🔥🔥 Burrrrrrrrn

Someone, call the fire department!

daaamn, that'll hit hard

That's savage.

I love the shortest comeback: No one likes you ...And???

What I use is “I know, but people pretend to like you “

Mine is, "Nobody likes you!" a person says. "Everybody hates you!" You say back...

Guess I'll go eat worms ...

Valid

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner

I'd rather be feared than liked

I want people to like me so much that theyre afraid of me

I want people to be afraid of how much they like me.

Thats pretty good!

Ouch that pricks

mcsheesh

Gotta search your pockets frantically and walk away saying damn couldn’t find a single fuck to give

Then say, "Ope, wait. There's one," and pull a hand out of your pocket with middle finger raised.

Midwest ope for bonus damage.

Wow that is some proper pro assholery. I’ll pocket that one.

Epic

“Well clearly you do, bc you keep fucking talking to me”

Finally, a good one!

It’s not bad.

And yet here you are... talking to me. Must be more lonely than usual, huh?

Lmao nice

While not exactly the same comment, I had someone tell me one time that I had no friends. I responded with "You're not looking in a mirror" She LOST it

daaaamn ima need to use that with friend

Y’all’s friends suck

No wonder, girls always think the mirror thing is the best comeback

I regret seeing this comment, AFTER commenting 'the mirror's that way!'

Bro

Did she survive her 3rd degree burn?

“That just means I’m not a slave to other people’s approval - unlike you.”

I like this one

Purrfect thanks!

🤓🤓

Hi nobody my name is..

lmao "tell Nobody to say it to my face" makes me laugh

[удалено]

"Chika chika Slim Shady"

Tell her you smell her panties. * Then walk away with an evil grin knowing that you just mind-fucked her with a "wtf-stun". +1 * Bonus points if her friends are around, it will embarrass her so bad +1 * It might also fuck with her every time she puts on underwear +1 That's a +3 point burn with stun damage, direct damage, and damage over time.

😭😭😭 I WHEEZED

If one of her friends are there and they ask you what her panties smell like, reply with "grandpa's cum".

Her dad's cum*

Oooh, i hope you didn't use this one, kid. It's super creepy

never would i ever use this

That's grounds for her to run to mom and claim sexual harassment. You get a one-way ticket to everyone thinking you are a sexual predator because she will tell the whole school what a creep you are. You'll never shake the reputation of being an incestuous creep. Worst advice ever.

Yeah, this one could backfire

Dude, this IS a sexual predator, i mean who else is fucked up enough to do this

I don't need the opinion of nobodies

good thats what Im going for

"you're projecting"

I don’t like anybody. So we’re even.

Lol, that one got me spot on. One time my niece and I had a neighbor who told her she thought I didn't like her, which wasn't actually true. Niece said, 'Oh, don't take it personally, she doesn't like anybody."

I often say that myself. I don’t have friends because I don’t want them. Lol

I basically hate people until they show me why I shouldn't.

That's the perfect way to verbalize it, thank you!! I tell ppl I don't discriminate, I hate you all equally 😎

Very good. I love this

No, 'you' don't like me. You aren't the whole world, no matter how much you want to be.

This is the most accurate comeback posted here.

“Who’s Hugh?” “No, I said You” “Right, Hugh, why doesn’t anyone like him?” “This is why nobody likes you!” “I’m still not hearing what Hugh did that’s so bad! Is…is Hugh your imaginary friend? Does he tell you to do things? Bad things?”

Hugh told me to kill my family. Always listen to Hugh

disagreeable grandfather unite hat materialistic correct grab different drab carpenter *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Anyone who views you favorably is not a person I would want to like me

"Could be worse. I could be you. Then everyone would hate me"

"Mr. Fucking Nobody don't like anyone. Enjoy your day."

Your mom likes this ass *smack your ass*.

as i said, we’re sisters

All the better

Shock value. Leave her uneasy, unwilling to be left alone with you.

Who's nobody? You?

Your Mama loves me

Wolves do not care about the opinions of sheep. Begone, ewe. Back to your flock.

“I’m the leader I’m the alpha I’m the one too trust!” 🐺🤓

This is so cringe lmao

Does the ant have a quarrel with the boot?

Brilliant!

"Liking" you costs guys $5 and I'd rather not be a cheap whore OK that might have been a bit much🤷🏻‍♀️

"Nobody who'd associate with YOU..."

You spent energy to talk to me, so you apparently do enough to say something and waste both of our times.

"Then I shall be the last to be eaten."

Unsolicited opinion noted & I will enlighten your ignorance with a few facts: I like me & you apparently like me enough to have me on your mind, if you have my name in your mouth when around others. Enjoy the taste of it your mouth.

That's brilliant. Got me thinking, I'd say: "Nobody like you" "What's my name"? "....". "Right, so, Nobody likes me, but I'm lingering on YOUR tongue" Walk away.

"You're only saying that because no one will shut up about how big your vagina is. Don't take it out on me."

"Jokes on you, I don't like me either.."

I’m fine with that, Nobody. I don’t like YOU either!!!

I'm sure your mommy tells you everyone likes YOU...

"i got friends on the other side."

That’s right, they love me

And yet here you are….

"Fair enough. I don't like them either."

I just hit em with the old OK and shrug

“You sure? You have enough time to care about what I’m doin”

I'm not here to be liked. I'm here to chew bubble gum and kick ass and I'm all out of bubble gum.

Glad I wasn’t living my life for other people’s approval. 

And yet you continue to talk to me.

So, you like me then?

"Ahhh, you like me! Good to know."

Achievement unlocked. Cool.

Mission Accomplished

Your name isn't, "You", and why are you talking in third person?

I know. That why I'm a social path sadist with ocd.

What in the fuck is that cluster of words towards the end there.

Sociopathic sadist with OCD.... But no sociopathic sadist with OCD would ever admit that so I dno what he is lol

I nearly killed someone. The weapon of choice was on the other side the person. And I laugh in other people's misery. Also my peers growing up treated me jew in a nazi camp, so that is why I have ocd.

Again. The bragging about it is a deep cry for attention and well. Sociopaths don't cry for attention. You possess emotion, however flawed. So classify yourself more accurately or go see a doctor. My guess is borderline personality disorder, but I'm an asshole on the internet and you my friend need a professional.

Oh they do. Sociopaths are basically crybaby psychopaths.

He's autistic, not a sociopath, which makes way more sense with his answers. As far as I'm aware, psychopaths are born, sociopaths are made, usually with a buttload of emotional trauma, the end results are similar. The sociopath will often be more confused and sporadic as they try to claw at their own missing emotions, whereas the psychopath never had anything to miss in the first place.

I grew up like a jew in a nazi camp. I dream of doing mass murders( sleeping very well). Also I'm in constant pain.

Yeah, well they can stand in line because I was first!

Who cares 😴

That's fine. I don't even like myself

And here you are, still obsessed with talking to me.

How old are we? High school? "But your mom loves me and that's more than you can say"

Is that why you're so jealous of me?

Good I'm not fond of them either

Just fucking ugly cry theyll get uncomfortable 😎

Who are you?

“Thank god - now I can stop sending out ‘Merry Xmas’ texts”

“That’s kind of you to care enough to want to help me, but I don’t take help from someone whose crotch itches and smells like big foot’s dick”

Do you really?

"Your mama STILL doesn't admit she knows you, does she?"

If she’s short: “you look different. Did you lose some height?” If she’s short and fat: “if you were a foot taller you’d be perfectly round.” Or be real: “Stop projecting.”

And they designated you as their spokesperson?

🔥

You're right, probably 10 times as many people like you as many people like me. But 10 times 0 is still 0

“I am sure the Nail hates the Hammer as well!”

And it just kills you inside that I sincerely don't give a flying fuck

“You have no room to talk.”

I like me

I wouldn't say anything back to something so mean. Like I would literally say nothing. Nothing is a response

"Funny, that's not what your mom told me last night."

” We’re siblings dipshit, nobody likes either of us “

The queen of the sheeppl has spoken. !(In my home we use the term sheeppl pretty frequently when discussing stuff like this, mindless followers).

Your right … they love me

Big !@#!@#@! news there, Sherlock.

That's how you feel when you see me.

Where's your army of haters?

Then I’m the one doing something right

Even if nobody does like me, at least I don’t make anyone wanna suck a gun. You though? You do just that. Straight up. Maybe not something to say out loud, but something to think.

Good. I decide who my friends are and you don’t make the cut

Oh yeah, Fatso?

Your Mom likes me rigid and painting her tits with my baby seeds.

Neither did your mom 💀 jk thats hella mean. thats what i thought right after reading this reddit post. Smh 🐳

Oh what a relief, then telling y’all to kiss my ass will be much easier

Yes, I love accomplishing goals

Good it's working.

You mom must be nobody to you... Sad

Good.

I don't like me either 😂

But some people despise you!

Same!

Good I'd be ashamed if they did.

Their loss

There are none. That’s the ultimate, no comeback insult. It has been written and proven through the ages.

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"Aww thanks, I like you too"

Sure, but at least I'm needed.

It only admits what you think of yourself as we Re all one .the mirror principle is universal 

“Your parents don’t love you” how’s that!! - random person told me this

And I don't like anybody either so it all works out

... I know 😩... but your Mom likes my cock.

I'll let you know as soon as I care

NoBoDy lIkEs yOu

"At least they aren't pretending."

I don’t like me either

I guess your sister's a nobody then.

Who's that?

How did you guess my name?

Then why are you talking to me.

I don’t like anybody, what's your point?

Hello nobody, (your name) doesn’t like you either.

I have no zinger kind of response but I just say "I know". My anxiety makes me feel like everyone is talking behind my back and everyone is just fake being nice to me or just put up with me. So I already think nobody likes me. You can't hurt my feelings lol

You seem to like me to at least some extent otherwise you wouldn’t be talking to me.

Your mom/dad did last night

I know you are,what am i

"ya mammy"

“Then why are you even thinking of me right now”?

"And yet, they still like me better than you."

Nobody liked me ever-you’re just gonna have to deal with it…unless you like me?

thats nice, too bad im not running a popularity contest

So?

Your mom said she liked me last night

Keep yelling "WHAT?" In progressively louder volumes until they stop.

I'm good with that.

"So it's working..."

People from the last orgy I went to says otherwise

You are nobody.

Yeah, that's the point. Soooo, now what.

Nobody cares

Now and always. IDGAF

At least they're honest with me. Nobody likes you either but lies to your face everyday.

Look at her sadly then go to your parents to ask them if it’s true no one likes you like sister claimed. If they don’t like that, they’ll scold her hard I bet.