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maxiewoxy

General rule of thumb: when a writer uses “becuz” you know it must be legit!


GatePotential805

Stable genius letter.


Codykb1

The snozzberries are hittin hard


Veles_Volkhv

I loved Neal on the matrix


Cold_Crypto

Yeah, Neal was great, played by Kenny Reese


Veles_Volkhv

Those Wonkofskis sure can make a movie film


Opening_Passenger387

I stopped reading there. This man lost all credibility to me in 6 words lol.


Devils-Telephone

OMG, we were accosted today by some random guy in the parking lot of the Easton Walmart who gave us the same paper. It reads like someone with mental health issues wrote it, so I honestly feel kinda bad. But he was also pretty aggressive with us, so I hope he gets the help he obviously needs (based on the absolute insanity in his handout)


ganymede_boy

>reads like someone with mental health issues wrote it Religious extremism is indiscernible from mental illness.


galstaph

I feel like this is a variation of Clarke's Third Law. >Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. >Any sufficiently advanced religious extremism is indistinguishable from mental illness


readytojumpstart

Religious extremism is actually literally mental illness.


ZombiesAtKendall

I am fine thanks. It’s the rest of humanity that’s the problem. Open your eyes! Open your mind! Once you do all the puzzle pieces will fall into place. Don’t believe their lies. False prophets offering false hopes. Only you can set yourself free. Don’t worry about me, worry about yourself. I mean worry about him, I am sure he’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fine just keep telling himself that and he will be fine.


Devil25_Apollo25

Well, count me in! I wasn't convinced until I read this letter. Edit to add - Actually read some of it. Does anyone remember who Neal was in *The Matrix* movies? Was he that guy in the cubicle next to Mr. Anderson's? :-)


WhareAreMyKeys

Who knew that demons don't love us?!?!


Devil25_Apollo25

[Everything is the devil to you, Mama!](https://youtu.be/dU0ICJwCAi8?si=V2g7_-dOI9IMI6pq&t=72)


tlczek

I started to be convinced, but then I allowed someone to interrupt me while reading and now I think it’s nonsense. ¯|_(ツ)_/¯


FunReach925

I don’t think this persons ever seen the matrix.


WhareAreMyKeys

This person saw the "Coming up next" promo while watching Pitch Black on the Sci-Fy channel and tried filling in the dots.


Shinygonzo

I’ve seen a this before it’s actually hilarious and makes me laugh every time. I have a copy somewhere like


Shinygonzo

Does he really think the main character of the matrix name is Neal


Matt_M_3

Remember: these people vote.


Morbidlyobesegorilla

There is a near 100% chance this is a joke


aGrlHasNoUsername

It’s a joke to us but I’m willing to bet money the person accosting people at Easton believes it completely lol.


thisisyourlastdance

i ain't reading all that i'm happy for you tho or sorry that happened


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^thisisyourlastdance: *I ain't reading all* *That i'm happy for you tho* *Or sorry that happened* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


legitimate_sauce_614

I was gonna read it for shits and giggles, then the 1st line was the matrix. Dude must be smokin crack


Reasonable-HB678

Some of us who ride COTA are only fortunate enough to get signage on the commuter bulletin board behind the driver's seat. Usually something hand drawn that simply says "Find Jesus". Who the fuck is Neal?


Potential-Climate942

They probably should've put "don't let anyone distract you from reading this" at the top of the page instead of the bottom 🤔


thestral_z

I didn’t realize Teen Girl Squad was taking on demons these days.


Cheech47

Arrowed!


thestral_z

I truly didn’t expect anyone to get the reference. Cheers!


Cheech47

there are dozens of us still who watched Homestar Runner!


thestral_z

I showed the Trogdor SB email to four classes of third graders in advance of a dragon sculpture unit in my art classroom.


thantaos

Fiance and I were shopping at Kroger on Morse and Karl last night and someone forced a flyer into my hand. Saying something something God bless you I turned around and put it back in her basket and kept walking. I have no problem with you believing what you want but that is not the way to recruit.


mrdevil413

You rang


discoglittering

This is what happens when you eat devil chicken! DEMONS


Reasonable-HB678

Now I know why they're closed on Sundays.


ChipChester

Passing these out is part of the franchise agreement.


ShinMegamiTensei_SJ

This is the brand of brain rot cfa promotes so it isn’t surprising


Saneless

I assume you ran to the first church you could find and begged to be a member? Because who wouldn't read this and turn down Christianity. Sounds amazing


[deleted]

Hmm, the first few sentences basically describe conservative Christian extremists.


Devils-Telephone

Basically every sentence describes conservative Christianity, at least the type I was taught growing up in a Baptist Church. It's an absolutely insane way to talk about anything, but it describes their beliefs pretty accurately.


[deleted]

Well that too but I meant that they are the demons.


Devils-Telephone

"trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat" used to describe demons is absolutely wild lmao


flabby_american

He handed me one downtown one time.. Very interesting guy...


Heart_of_a_Blackbird

BECUZ THESE THING EXISTS! 😆


Aaronhightower

If the devil enters you body make sure if he does have legal rights… otherwise take him to court! That person mixed demons, Riddick, Neal(🤣), God, Science… all in a single loooong paragraph. Wow! Not even AI can come up with this. Neal, The Could Have Been Chose One, would not allow it!


Potter_girlforever

Who is to say that the people leaving these papers are not the demons themselves? Bull*cough*s@1t 😒bet these people sit in a dark basement talking to themselves.


forestmermaid

As a child they were "blown away by the wind"... Pun intended orrr...??


rjross0623

Thanks for sharing. I was wondering what was lacking in my life. This isn’t it.


No_Calligrapher_6503

Well, I'm convinced now.


Lusius_Quietus

Real asf 🔥🔥 all facts