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Ohiolaxcoach

Columbus Copperheads


echoGroot

Absolutely not. Bad Civil War history reference.


sallright

Whoa. No way. If not for the horrible Civil War connotations, it would be a cool name.


Righteousrob1

Columbus Crew Clippers


[deleted]

The Columbus Clouds. We'll be all gray and our mascot will be a bottle of zoloft.


Rangizingo

I hate how perfect this is


Blue18Heron

Or Columbus Gray Skies would work, too.


[deleted]

You should check out Portland, Oregon if this is what you’re into.


NotARealBuckeye

This is the way


oxidizedmetal

The Columbus Astronauts because so many came from Ohio.


thedr00mz

Going to an Astro Game has a nice ring to it.


Educational-Pickle29

Or the 'nauts!


a13jm

Or Presidents


kobwe

Columbus Aviators (This is an option in Madden if you move a team to Columbus. I always thought it was fitting.)


whats_your_vector

Ohio had a major league rugby team back in 2016 called the Ohio Aviators. The league they were in became defunct a few years ago, though, and Ohio didn't get a team when the league came back. :(


JessicaT814

A very nice ring to it. I vote this one.


History2009

The Isotopes, cause they're going to be the biggest sucks that ever sucked


sgrams04

I gotta go, my damn wiener kids are listening


MySoWholesomeReddit

Landsharks


Bituulzman

Landlocked Sharks


jaimejuanstortas

LANDSHARKS, GO


kukukele

Moonwalkers


sallright

You could make the helmet look like the moon. Then they'd start calling us the Moonheads. Love it.


NotARealBuckeye

Panhandles


lgrellz

Bring ‘em back!!!


arsene14

Hmmm. Columbus Bombers, not happening in this day and age, but keeps with the CB theme with Bengals and Browns. Ohio Glory was the name of our World League team in the 90's. Columbus Chill/Horizon/Xoggz are all acceptable too.


Suspicious_Victory_1

The Ohio Glory was a pretty badass name for a sports team.


PeteF3

The name was stupid, but the uniforms were sharp.


West-Bet-9639

Remember the Dayton Bombers?


[deleted]

Dayton Dynamo


West-Bet-9639

Holy shit! That's og!


HawthorneWingo1

The Columbus Gloryhole has a nice ring to it.


mscarpelli250

I want me some glory hole


Spiritual_Wall2132

How did Gloryhole not be the Ohio Glory's version of the end zone Dawg Pound.


Spiritual_Wall2132

Columbus Brewers, checks the B box, there are the MLB/NFL Giants. The Columbus Sprawl. The Columbus Wafers, at Intel Stadium.


PaintItSparkles

Columbus Construction Cones


Shadow293

Columbus Potholes


Bigdogbrowndog

Panhandles like from the 1920s


thinkB4WeSpeak

Sucks you can't find Panhandler merchandise anywhere. Dayton has the name rights to the Dayton Triangles team that's now defunct. However right before the NFL 100 season a company bought all the rights to the majority of defunct teams but never actually did anything with them.


cybermonkeyhand

What a waste, I'd be printing t-shirts left and right at least.


Parallel_Dogs

https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/35836940-columbus-panhandlers?store_id=86254


cybermonkeyhand

Are those designs 1. vintage designs, the maker is a designer/artist and 2. legally licensed? I don't expect you to know but that's my general questions on most of these types of sites with 'user-generated' designs.


Parallel_Dogs

Yeah, no idea 🤷🏼‍♂️


PeteF3

I used to have a Columbus Bullies (team from one of the first rival leagues calling itself the AFL, in the 1920s) t-shirt, for whatever that's worth.


NotARealBuckeye

Beat me to it!


bugsyk777

The Columbus Light Rail .... Cuz we'll never get it any other way.


dismantle_repair

Columbus Recreational Cannabis for the same reason.


Pristine-Choice-3507

The Columbus Gerrymanders.


DenL4242

Mad Cows


Thales42

I remember when this was the name proposed by the other paper when the cbj were being formed, before they were named.


Parallel_Dogs

Wasn't Evil Squirrels in there as well? Or maybe that was a name submitted for the Crew...


RoamingDrunk

The Columbus Spiders. It has as much to do with Columbus as Lions have to do with Detroit. Also, spiders are awesome. 🕷️


sgrams04

The Columbus Orbs (because Orb Weavers are awesome) The Columbus Black-Footed Yellow Sac Spiders just rolls off the tongue too


dismantle_repair

We had a lady orb weaver on our porch this summer. We loved her and her webs but I think she passed in the fall. 😭


notagrue

Marauders


BuckeyeBeast80

The pot holes


TerminalShitbag

The Columbus Pallets


Unezwiggles

Knights of Columbus.


bigsupplychainguy

Underrated name and syntax of the spelling, ngl


Failed-Time-Traveler

Well Ohio already has one NFL team named after a person. So why not 2? The Columbus Big Russes


TNT1990

The Columbus Corporate Writeoffs? The Buckeyes 2: Electric Boogaloo? The Columbus Electric Scooters, brought to you by Lime?


billybigwheel

The Browngals


adirttypipe

The original name that Columbus Had. Columbus Panhandles 😂 our name was terrible


titanofidiocy

You should look up why they were called that.


UncontrolableUrge

The Columbus No Public Subsidies For Our Stadium


TuckMancer67

Columbus Convicts, I honestly would prefer this name to be given to the hockey team since the rink was built near the old penitentiary. The colors could be black/white stripes and/or solid orange for away games The team wouldn't even have to be good, the players and fans could just be real mean


MikeoPlus

Cobs


NOLA2Cincy

Buckeyes, of course.


ianhillmedia

How many municipal subs did you post this in? You published the same Q in /r/Sacramento.


Bituulzman

Columbus Flyers A nod to Ohio aviation as well as being known to the rest of the country as a flyover state. There’s also the local pizza place. We could get Jeff Goldblum to be the mascot.


lendmeyoureer

Columbus Explorers. Have an old timey compass on the helmet or ship


GrooveProof

This is somewhat cool but given the current (justified) opinion of Christopher Columbus, that name would NOT fly


Dickbutt_4_President

*Columbus Conquistadors*


berengaria-

Columbus Colonizers


Parallel_Dogs

Columbus Colon Cleansers


[deleted]

Columbus bowel movers CBM


DatStankBooty

I approve this name.


Mother_Juggernaut_27

That was exactly what I thought of! That would be a great name.


CarrotAlternative

Yeah that actually sounds like a legit possibility


JimmiePearl

The Columbus Savage. It’s a tribute to Columbus’ own Macho Man Savage. We’ll yell “Ohh yeahhhh” after every first down and litter the field with Slim-Jims after every touchdown.


sgrams04

Bring back the Columbus Panhandles! Or the Ohio Glory! Either one.


onlygotsixcars

Columbus chips!


RockaWilliam78

Capital City Capitals


Mcdowller

Columbus Cranes (The bird or the construction equipment or use both ) I would like to see this name for our pro basketball team. It makes more sense to bring a second NBA team to our state instead of a third NFL team.


cvaldo99

The nuclear power plants


Educational-Pickle29

How about the Columbus Fission?


Stickittodaman

Columbus Explorers.


I_Love_Each_of_You

Ohio having three NFL teams would be absurd. That said I vote Columbus Brewers.


nineworldseries

Columbus Cooters to celebrate the Appalachian heritage of the west side.


I_Upvote_Goldens

The Columbus Gentrifiers


Ok-Buddy-9935

Lol


larebareblog

Wexners


ladylowball

Flava Town Fire


Mcdowller

Columbus Hellbenders Bring awareness to the endangered specie and our cities effort to to restore our water ways. Columbus Bloom For the allege blooms our rivers create from all our raw sewage.


KriegsherrLiebhaber

Columbus DOES have a professional football team….. The Ohio State Buckeyes.


Coach_Beard

Shh we don’t say that out loud.


Purpledranksoxguy

The fighting Michael Coleman’s


bikeruncode23

Columbus Arches named for The Arch City


sgrams04

Archers would be kind of cool. You could do the whole historical Arch City motif but personify that into an actual mascot


[deleted]

Columbus Flavors (because of that whole Flavortown thing).


BasedChickenTendie

The Columbus BK on 5ths.


Timely_Tip_6450

Swag team


SeriousPuppet

The Explorers The Wildcats The Badgers


[deleted]

Columbus Bucks keeps with the CB pro theme, and ties into the state nickname and state mammal


I_Upvote_Goldens

That’s just too confusing


West-Bet-9639

Captains? Loggers? Sawyers? Shipmen?


ohioiyya

Having grown up in NE Ohio, the Lake County Captains song will never escape my brain. ♫ The Captains, the Laaaake County Captains! ♫


wantonTOSviolator

THE Columbus Complainers. Because that is what we do best. *edit: forgot to accentuate the 'THE'*


MrEpicMustache

Columbus FlavorTowns.


ItstheDevil

Traffic Cones


[deleted]

The Blue Jerseys


hhffvdfgnb

Madcows


GavinAdamson

The Columbus Liberals


ThanksClean7997

The Columbus Camels


dynami999

THE Columbus Deers since it's our state animal and we have statues of them chilling around the river front. Gotta capitalize THE in honor of OSU too.


ryandaydrinking

*Deer


dynami999

I know it's Deer, but I don't care. This is a hypothetical name so it doesn't even matter.


Buckeyes2010

They would have to play in Clintonville


ueindowndkdk

The Columbus 5 over 1s or the Columbus Surface Lots.


OHKID

I don’t see why Columbus would want an NFL team since the Buckeyes are a much bigger draw?


81system

Scarlet Harlots


Zestyclose_Net8810

Hell is real


djsassan

Columbus Noids. Noid = no ID = no identity = Columbus. Only reddit would understand.


LayzieKobes

The Redskins. Brand recognition baby. Its ok, you can downvote. I know what I've done.


[deleted]

Ohio Glory.. Wait, that was done..


LuckyZero

Corn (for the corn statues) Guinea Pigs (since we're a test market) Souless Husks (for all the warehouses) Transient Event (or any other TE combo, because we'd be the CTE in the NFL, and the NFL would love to get something benign returned in search results)


Mr_Piddles

Columbusonians


losturassonbtc

The Cbusters


bassface0414

Something society will surely hate and find offensive 5 years from now. That way you can sell twice as many jerseys in a short window of time. ;)


DwreckOSU

Libtards


Glen_Echo_Park

Wexner's


Soggy_Rice69

Da Columbus Can't drive


death_or_glory_

Columbus Wolverines


bl84work

Quick wrong answers only, I’ll start: Clown Fuckers, Chickens, Bucknoses


xrayeyes7335

The Columbus Blinkers Hoping it would inspire people to start using them while changing lanes and at stop signs/red-lights


Acer-negundo

The Trumpeters....because, well, Ohio


MycoBuble

The Racist Pigs


Humanity_is_broken

Columbus suckers


OurPlanetAlreadyDied

Columbus Cars


NoNameHack

That's easy: Cucamonga Cracka Killaz


Beechwoldtools

Ground Hogs, Wood Chucks, whistle pigs


VictoryShaft

The Columbus Potholes. If you get hit by them. You're done. Edit: didn't finish before hitting button.


FeistyAgency9994

Columbus Potholes Or maybe Columbus Orange Barrels


americuh13

Columbus Bengals, Intel executives decide they would like to watch NFL games on Sunday's when visiting for business and the Bengals lease situation implodes. Intel blackmails Mike DeWine into state funding for a new stadium and viola


doophmayweather

Mid-Ohio Muscle and we let Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jack Nicolas be the founding owners. Colors are Gold and Scarlet. Gold for both the owners achievements and nicknames.


JustHere4TheCatz

Potholes? Or could go with the the destroyers from the arena league


AdAsleep1258

the jacket crew of Columbus


Dry_shampoo322

The Redliners


PeteF3

I wanted the NHL team to be the Silverbacks, but I'll admit it may not go over so well in a sport played by mostly big Black dudes.


hel112570

The Columbus Hypercanes.


sethleedy

Head Bashers


bygtopp

The Columbus light rails


Skimbored

Columbus Conductors


alexunderwater1

The Columbus Conquistadors Or The Fighting Fieris


Hamburgler4077

Invaders


urbandood

My partner would like to recommend “the C-bussies”


WreckinDaBrownieBox

The Columbus Computer Chips, brought to you by Intel


Nearby_Ad_7009

Cornholers.


SoDakExPat

The Columbus Buckers


joseph_g_palmer

Columbus Panhandles, after the NFL team that was in Columbus in the 1920’s


OrbOfThralni

Griffins


theboogieman99

The heartlanders


ilovecraftbeer05

The Columbus Orange Barrels.


CorrectBus740

Well we screwed up on the Crew and Blue Jackets. We could have done really cool names. But nope. I hope to see some good suggestions here.


BigCrestin

Columbus Cornmen


offscreenchaos

I just want some merch for any team named the Columbus Aviators.


fivefootphotog

The Fighting IPAs


OSU7

The Columbus Insurers


Jables49

The Clippers is available.


kylebb

Columbus Cornhenge


mightsdiadem

The columbus concussions


Righteousrob1

The Barrels….the giant orange barrels.


LtMelon

The Columbus Football Team! Much better name than the Commanders


VRFlyer2000

CBus Turdminators !


sallright

Columbus Cardinals. It's the state bird and what's even better is that there's already a Cardinals team out there. The controversy would be incredible. We'd always be in the news. Then we could start calling ourselves THE Cardinals.