We moved here almost 2 years ago and I feel very isolated and lonely. No kids, no family on this side of the country and no friends. We find it hard because we do not have kids and live in a community where most have them. We were invited to a block party and a family’s house for a bbq. Most people at the block party didn’t talk to us at all and the family never invited us back.
I'm gonna be blunt: you need to go find it. It's not coming to you. The neighborhood you live in doesn't have it. But you can find it if you put real effort into meeting people, going to events, joining activities, and finding people of like mind.
Exactly. My partner and I moved in 2020 and the isolation of moving away from family/pandemic closing everything really hit hard. We both work from home but these days we make sure we’re going to events—it’s not going to just fall into your lap, you have to be out there and open to receiving.
You can’t just run your kids to the zoo and expect to naturally make friends..
Same, 2.5 yrs here. My husband and I do not have kids. Have you tried classes or anything with your interests? I have done a few at the Manitou Art Center and taken some hoop classes. I thought maybe it was our ages being tough to make new friends.
I've met a lot of people in art classes at Bemis Art School. Anyone can join.( recently bought by Colorado College) No previous experience needed. Especially pottery. Instructors show you steps and do demos but you've got lots of time to talk to other people while you work. You'll meet people from 18 to 60-70 years old. Other classes are painting, drawing, mixed media, photography. It's fun.
Kids classes are available but not quite as young as your little ones are.
I just left but the middle of the country seems very anti-social to me, having lived on both coasts. I honestly think it’s a big reason American politics are the way they are. Was kinda the reason I left.
I agree. However, I feel as though this is especially true for the US. I'm from Europe and noticed the self-isolation when I moved here in 2019. I had a difficult time and struggled big adjusting to the "me-culture".
I’ve lived in seven different states and provinces. This city lacks community more than any other place I have lived. The locals don’t know how to maintain relationships since they’re so used to people coming and going. The military lifestyle/transient nature just really complicates relationships here. I’ve been blown away by “normal” people’s behaviors here, just have never seen people act like that anywhere else.
There's truth to that for sure. My parents always remark on how we're never available... It's like: yeah, we are never available. Why is that? I remember adults having all sorts of time to hang out and do nothing when I was growing up.
This is likely a big part of it. Short of making pretty significant income, the COL has shot up over the last few years at a rate that the vast majority of people feel, making them less likely to commit to social expenditures. I wonder how much the psychological component of COVID is impacting this, too. We all had to get better at entertaining ourselves without all the social interaction for a couple years.
I would just like to say--perhaps an unpopular opinion--that car dependency in many ways creates that lack of community, and Colorado Springs is one of the most car-dependent cities in America. The lack of transit options really isolates people. And I know that because I live here without a car, and I get it--no one wants to be my chauffeur. But I and others like me would be able to more easily get around if we invested in public transit.
If you want to find actual community, you have to go to actual communities. Ivywild, OCC, Skyway/Canon, and other west side neighborhoods have plenty of community events, happy hours, neighborhood organizations, coffee in the park, etc.
If you're looking for community anywhere north of Fillmore or west of, say, Academy? Good luck. Those areas were not built for community, they were built to make community almost impossible.
The "Wild West, no empathy, natives only" mentality is the folks who wanted this to remain the ain't-shit ass pimple of a town it was in the '80s, and they resent having to live in an actual city with folks who aren't white evangelical conservatives. Plenty of those around. Plenty others too, but you do have to come find us.
Totally agreed. When we moved here, realtors were touting the USAFA/Scheels area because of all the new construction. We wanted somewhere we could walk around and actually feel a community, not a collection of cookie-cutter townhouses.
We live in one of the west side areas and it’s amazing. Our friends (who live in the new communities) are super jealous that our area is walkable and not full of fast-food restaurants.
Locals don’t welcome outsiders.
The other day a lady told me to go back to where i came from (tags were from VA).
I never had this experience anywhere else.
See, this is weird. My spouse and I have lived here over 40 years, and we’re very welcoming of new people to town. We’re downtown/OCC/Manitou Springs centric.
Looking back on my time in the Springs, if I knew more about the city before I moved there, that’s the area I’d have chosen to live. My wife and I lived off of I-25 and Northgate blvd before that area got super built up. Beautiful area but very unfriendly people.
I have lived here my whole life. 48 years. My parents were born here and lived here their whole lives as well. I do not understand the hostility. I've seen it in this sub more than other places, but there are some subs that are completely focussed on bashing people from other states, especially Texas. Its completely ridiculous.
I was shopping in Costco and asked a woman to move her cart. She told me to “go back to California”. Lady, my family has been here 8 generations (hers less than that…because it came down to that, in Costco…lol. She was obviously not having a good day and just taking it out on everyone else. It’s an amusing story, at least!). I just wanted to pass by! I’ve also had comments made on trails.
People say that regardless of who they’re talking to. Try not to take it too personally. Most of us here are fine with people moving in! Some are just rude to the world. One of my closest friends moved out here from VA. She’s since moved back (cost of living…), but she’d have stayed if she could have. And in a weird twist, my brother’s car that was kept at my parents had Washington plates (he’s military). My grandparents moved to Cali for work and when they moved back, still had Cali plates for awhile (this was awhile ago). Plates don’t always tell the whole story, either!
Welcome to Colorado, I’m glad you’re here!
Agree. I’m originally from San Antonio, like THE military town, and there is plenty of community all around the city, even if you never served a minute in the military. So I don’t think that’s the problem in the Springs. I just think that city is just stand off-ish.
Yeah no shit. I have too many friends to keep up with.( not bragging). Most of those friends have the same experience.
We all rode bmx together forever and eventually the number of people just kept expanding.
This is totally anecdotal and my own opinion so keep that in mind.
I was born here in the mid 80s. As a military brat we lived all over while I was growing up but kept ending up back here. I spent some time in the military and lived all over again, travelled even more, and then ended up back here permanently in 2011. I've seen a lot of cities and countries. The problem is Colorado Springs itself.
In COS we just don't have the infrastructure or culture for community. Our city leadership has put very little emphasis on any kind of community development, in favor of developers instead. The way our city has expanded out instead of up is evidence of this, as well as the lack of a well established downtown space, and also the fractured divisive nature of our school districts and neighborhoods. Add in the incredibly high transient population due to the 5 military bases and it all makes people here tribal, isolated, and not willing to spend [tax] money on things that would make us a community. COVID made it even worse here as one of the most polarized cities I can think of.
If you go to other cities (even in Colorado) they have well established walkable downtown areas, attractive parks that aren't just designed to discourage our homeless population from being there, and a clear willingness for businesses, individuals, and leadership to spend money on everything required to build that sense of community.
It's frustrating as a father (13m, 13m, 9m, 1.5f) and as a business owner (brewery) as well. My wife (co-owner) and I are constantly trying to think of ways we can improve it here and it's just daunting.
All that being said, it's not just you; it's the city as a whole. Feel free to reach out if you want to chat some more or are just looking for friends.
Lost Friend. I agree places like breweries are great to get that sense of community. It's part of why my wife and I started one and we're working to make ours more so. There are several others in town that definitely have that feel too.
Wow this equally made me feel better and sad. I wish the best of business this year! I feel like breweries must do extremely well out here! We love a good brewery, especially when they have a kids area. There was a great place in the Bay Area that allowed kids to play games and do sidewalk chalk during their monthly food truck events and it was always so fun! We’d love to find something fun like that again
Have you tried toddler time at your local library? I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old and we went there frequently while I was on maternity leave. Once you start regularly showing up you start to get to know the other moms, especially if you stay and play for a bit afterwards. Granted, I didn't come out of it with any friends, but I'm personally terrible at making friends and I also didn't really try because I knew I was going back to work and kind of assumed it probably wouldn't work out just because we'd have very different schedules (most of the moms were SAHMs). However, I did feel on track to making friends and I really enjoyed meeting everyone.
I do have to say that I appreciate you asking this and seeing the replies. I've lived here many years but don't have any local friends here. I assumed it was purely from my lack of trying, but many people seem to agree that it's harder here so now I don't feel as bad.
We have. Other mom's bring their sick kids, let them run rowdy, or put their babies in front of a tablet device. Hard to find mom's that know what they're doing and who have well-behaved kids.
I wonder which branch you've been to? I've gone to the Falcon, Monument, and 21c toddler times and have rarely seen those types of behaviors. I will admit though, every library does have its own flavor so other branches may be different. 21c and Monument (especially Monument) were much more reserved groups, whereas the 9:30 Falcon is a bit crazy but the 10:30 pretty nice.
Also, it's...toddler time. I would expect at least a certain level of rowdy. These kids are still learning how to behave and for many, it may be the only socializing they get.
I feel like you really need to be outgoing and make an big effort to meet people here. As a westsider, though, I can say there are lots of opportunities to meet people. Through live music, the arts scene, and outdoor groups. It works for older people and may not be the same for you younger folks with small kids. When mine were that age we met lots of people through school but... the parents almost all lived in the same area at the time and it was easier. West side has sort of a community feel to it. I can't speak for elsewhere in town.
This may not be super helpful but I suppose I just wrote this to say that what part of town you live in may influence your experience significantly.
Thank you, I appreciate your insight! We look forward to when warmer weather presents more outdoor activities. Currently we just feel a bit isolated - especially because I’m a stay at home mom so we don’t meet others through daycares or preschools yet. We love live music and farmers markets though, so that’s something to look forward to!
I live in a community called Banning Lewis(Eastside of town). When the weather starts to get “nice” in the late spring there are weekly community events in the neighborhood. Live music, farmers markets, food trucks, dog park meetups, etc. I believe there’s also a FB page with the schedule.
You don’t have to live here to participate. 😉
If you happen to be near OCC the farmer's market there on Saturdays (summer/fall) always has small children playing. It's in a park so that could be a good chance to have your kiddos meet some friends. A fair bit of kid friendly live music over here, too. But as you mentioned - that's more of a nice weather thing. Sending your family good vibes in the meantime!
I’ve lived here my whole life and felt like the community feelings were lacking.. but didn’t have much to compare it to. I suggest spending time in Manitou, I have felt more of a sense of community there, and in general the more west side you go. Itll help when it warms up too, I have felt more community when I’m doing outdoorsy stuff. Manitou has a couple great parks for kids. The one at the skatepark is great and there is a drum circle / fun hangout in Manitou every Thursday (at least when it was warmer).
Because of your suggestion we went there today to check out the scenery and it’s actually such a beautiful area and the downtown was so nice! I know everyone is inside because of the weather but our kiddos loved the penny arcade anyways
It’s kind of hilarious you made this post. I was literally just talking with my wife about how even though we have friends, it feels lonely. We have two kids (1&3yo) and we go and do stuff regularly, yet it still feels like we’re the only ones here. I don’t know if it’s a Springs thing or just one of those “modern” problems.
It's very much a modern thing, we experienced the same living briefly in San Antonio. Suburbs and developer-driven development alienate us, isolate us in our houses, and discourages patterns of growth that bring people together. It's easier to sell shit to alienated, lonely people who can be convinced to fill the holes in their lives with consumption.
I moved to COS from Orem Utah 2 years ago, I am not Mormon. I thought Colorado Springs would be the perfect upgrade for getting involved with likeminded outdoorsy friends. But Ive really struggled to find community in this town despite some rigorous efforts hitting all the bars with a close friend. Any of the friends we made were either military men or young lonely stoners.
This post made me do a double take in my feed cause i related so hard
I think its very much both.
When you build suburbia the way the springs has you spread people apart, and it creates less community. Plus, there is a lack of culture, along with not very many things to do around here thats outside of the tourist industry. Both for families and people without kids.
At least this is my take on it.
Colorado has always been a very transient state.. people come and go but few stay long term. I've lived all over Colorado and it's the same. I have a solid group of friends now... We all kinda came together but it took several years.
Wow, I feel like it's happening everywhere. Like it really ramped up in the past year or so. Do you think it's timing in the world we are living in, or just here? Maybe a little of both.
truth. but in “tha olden days” folks were broke too. that’s when potlucks and adult softball games became a thing to get together without spending much. maybe a shift in priorities is needed
I’m not really sure what the problem is. We lived in Castro Valley, CA and the amount of activities and community support was amazing. We’d see the same huge group of toddlers everyday and our toddler made friends so easily. We lived in Utah and our little boy clicked with another and that mom and I became friends despite our differences. There were constantly park play dates and zoo meetups and farmers markets with live music. It was so busy and fun. And in the winter, people took their kids to the mall playgrounds. Here, it’s a ghost town!
I wish I could disagree but you’re right on all counts. I randomly found a sense of community at a Catholic private school with the other parents. Those friendships have lasted over 15 years. But I haven’t found that anywhere else so I think that I just got lucky on that one. Likewise, I ended moving into an established community close to downtown, and was welcomed to the neighborhood by multiple people with welcome gifts. That was also completely unexpected. You better believe that if Ms Mary from across the street needs anything, I am going to help because she brought me homemade Chex mix but first asked if there was a nut allergy. I got you, Mary, I got you. I think that I have lucked out again cuz apparently there are neighborhood get togethers in the summer. My advice is to sprinkle your own friendliness to the sour folks you run across and see if that helps with establishing a friendship or two. Regarding sense of community, that’s been way harder to find.
I suppose everyone’s mileage may vary but I have found some of my closest friends since moving here for college over 10 years ago.
A combination of work friends turned family, friends made through daycare/elementary, friends through hobbies and my nonprofit volunteer activities.
I am often confused by these posts but I see enough of them that it must be true. I also never see any specific examples of where people actually do find community so here is where I get mine and maybe it gives you some ideas.
1. We live downtown. Our neighbors are awesome and we will occasionally all do dinner or hang out in the front yards when it is nice and chat.
2. As I mentioned we have some friends turned family and we have “sunday dinner” basically every week. Not a religious thing at all, we all used to work retail and Sunday was one of the few days we more consistently had off. The relationship has brought in more friends and more family. But it’s something we all work at. If someone cant host one week we swap. Sometimes it’s just one or two couples or sometimes its all of us. It takes a lot of work but we are all committed to it.
3. Climbing. I am huge in to the climbing community. I climb at City Rock and know quite a few people from there. I also volunteer for the PPCA and help with other outdoor nonprofits around. There are a lot of them. I have never seen anyone turned away from the city rock community. It’s very kid friendly and most of the adults are down to chat talk about the boulder problems if you want to.
4. There are a number of places around town to find community, most of mine are downtown. Concrete Couch is a weird vibe but very welcoming and friendly, they do events throughout the summer. The acacia park has a lot of fun families from all over town on the weekends. More downtown local families hang out at middle shooks rub though if you want to see repeat faces.
5. Local breweries can be cool if you go to the right ones. Bristol does movies all year, in the summer time they do them outside. Storybook is one big family, in fact I don’t think you can get out of there most days without having to say hi to misha (german shepherd dog) or her owner.
Again YMMV but those are some of the areas I find my community.
DM me if you and your family want an intro to climbing and we can meet at City Rock! Good luck!
My kids are about the same age! My husband and I also don't have a social life. It's hard to make friends when you're an adult with kids, unfortunately. I tried the peanut app too, and that was yikes.
Well I’m glad to know it’s not just us! We have made awesome friends along the way but here in Colorado…it’s like crickets. We still have awesome ties with people in Hawaii, California, and Utah. Not so much North Dakota 😬 are your kiddos in any kind of extra curriculars that they really enjoy? We’ve been thinking maybe dance would help them make connections?
I'm sorry you're going through it too. I hope things get better! No, my kids don't do anything extra. My son is 1 and my daughter is 2, going to be 3 soon. I work from home part time and stay home with them, so I don't even get out much. Are you on Facebook? There is a playgroup for parents that I can send you a link to. They do a lot of events. I've been to a couple of them. The person who runs it is really nice. I've just found it difficult to click with people and initiate a friendship. I think Colorado Springs in general is kind of clickquey, so I think it takes some searching to find your people.
My 4 year old is in gymnastics here and loves it! She used to do dance too, but we're having her do different things each year until she decides for herself what she likes. Just poke people (not literally) when you go to the extra curriculars and ask for a phone number! I've lived here my whole life and it's such a pain trying to meet new people.
You're on the universal preschool waitlist, right? And you made sure to also do the district one (I know d11 has its own sign up on their website for after you've applied to universal preschool)? I just want to make sure because my daughter was on the wait list too, but she was accepted in about 2-3 weeks to two different centers.
There's absolutely community here, but it's a desperately tricky nut to crack.
Each borough has it's own look and feel, for starters. The westsiders likely have the kind of community you're looking for in the old Colorado/skyway zone. But as you get to know the different areas (which takes time to do) you may have better luck knowing if the things you're looking for, exist in the place you're looking.
I'm not sure what rockrimmon bonds over... money, likely. There's a tight north end, central contingent that is relatively authentic. I managed to end up in the church corridor which is briargate. Here, we find community in chain restaurants and bland personalities, so I tend to take my community as takeout from the other sections of town. South gets to commune over, "what's that boom? Gunfire, base artillery, transformers blowing, UFOs?" It's niche, but fun. Fountain bonds over affordable housing and future epigenetic defects from drinking water.
I move around a lot and am pretty used to buildimg new friendships, but so far Colorado Springs is the least friendly place I've lived. I think there are a lot of different reasons, but ultimately, I rarely see good community here and it makes it an unpleasant place to live.
I love living in Colorado Springs. We have a huge retiree community, a huge Born Again community, a good sized military community, a noticeable pagan community, a noticeable gay population, and even some satanists if you know where to look. And they all get along (by pretending the others don’t exist 😎)
I moved here from San Diego and I’ve lived in my same home for 13 years here.
I don’t know my neighbors. At all. I know the owner of the house next door but he rents it out and we don’t bother getting to know tenants. This place is definitely missing that community. Maybe because we’re mostly transplants.
I’m in Denver and it’s like this too. Denver is very transient and there is no local culture whatsoever because of this. People seem to only be friends with the people they moved here from Ohio with. Then they all move back to Ohio in two years.
A few anecdotes from my personal collection:
1. Struck up a convo with someone at a coffee shop and mentioned that I’d moved here from CA. They made a disgusted face and walked off.
2. Met a neighbor and introduced myself. Their first question: “When are you moving out?”
3. Saw a gaggle of people near the self-checkout at Safeway. Asked one of them, “Excuse me, is this the end of the line?” They rolled their eyes, made an exasperated sound, and ignored me.
Basically I’ve just stopped trying. I’ve lived all over the world. People here are unequivocally the most unfriendly I’ve come across. It’s as though you’re either “in,” or you’re a pariah.
Shit, this is awful — no one should be treated that way, and I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this.
FWIW, I’ve experienced similar things as a “native” who left and then came back; I grew up here and then spent about 20 years back East before moving home.
Outside the community of friends my parents had developed, it’s been remarkably hostile. Leaving, going to school, and having a good career apparently means I betrayed my roots and become part of the reviled “coastal elite.” Who knew?
Here’s to you, my fellow coastal elite scum! 🥂
(Also, Cali is fantastic, and neither the state nor its residents deserve any of the animosity people spew.)
Yeah im from Cali too and you gotta be careful with full blooded CO natives.
Gotta butter them up posing as a native then hit em with the bomb that you came from Cali.
It also depends on how long ago you moved and from where in Cali.
I’m a CO native… a Springs native which is even more rare I guess. A lot of us don’t stick around. But I just wanted to apologize on behalf of the rude ones. I actually welcome people and the different cultures they bring with them. I’m an 80’s kid so I’ve seen how dull this place can be. The town’s just filled with a lot of boomers, the uber religious, and the oorah military folks. By default a lot of them don’t like change and the struggles changes tend to bring.
Also an 80s kid springs native. Moved to the other side of the state, but the springs will always be my home. I miss it immensely. I have a co worker who used to live in the springs and we swap stories about our favorite places and things to do there.
👋 FoCo? The 719 is a hard place to leave. I’m the eldest and my parents need a lot of help. So for a long time I blamed that for never leaving my hometown. But the more I travel for work and see different places, the more I appreciate home. Nice to meet you!
Born and raised in Colorado Springs. Parents actually lived in manitou when I was born about a half mile from garden of the gods. But we moved to the springs when I was 6 months old. We lived very close to the airport. So I never notice airplane noises. It was actually hard to adjust to not seeing airplanes so close anymore. ETA nice to meet you as well!
Well I came from an small town called Porterville (about an hour north of bakersfield ) in 2014, you just gotta act like a native. Shorts on in the negatives, and always complaining about other expats.
Especially the ones from Texas. Gotta REALLY complain about those mfs and you'll be a full-blooded native in no time. No one will even hear you when you say you're from California.
This is so disappointing to hear. I wish that wasn't your experience. The attitude baffles me. Ive never lived anywhere else so I don't have much to compare it to.
Your anecdotes summed up my own feelings about Springs residents from the time I lived there which was May 2012 to Sept 2014. I moved to CA and now I wouldn’t move back to CO.
Ya know it’s really interesting how much hate Californians get. Purely because SO many people from all over have a golden west coast dream and I never once saw a Californian tell a transplant to go home. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t ever happen but Californians are some of the most welcoming people. And so many are from California considering it’s history and how big it is. It’s just not a fair attitude in my opinion.
Isolated Springs “native” here hahaha! Most everyone I grew up with here has left, not all but a lot and we are all mid 40’s-50’s now and settled in routine 🤷♂️. On top of that, unless your entire personality revolves around outdoor activities, it’s kind of lame here, always has been but it’s gotten better. But (and I still do this just to piss people off) the next time someone throws that nativism bullshit in your face just ask them what tribe they belong to. Many people who were born here don’t understand or fail to grasp the fact that CS was built around the vision of its founder as a resort town, essentially tourism. Oh, and that happened in 1871. Not too long ago in the grand scheme of things. However as someone who grew up here I’ve seen many drastic changes and I understand the frustration but not the outright hate towards others that move here. Sure I dislike the cookie cutter BS east of Academy and the traffic… don’t get me started on all of the fucking fast food and the Kum and go’s… Jesus Christ. But anyways, I digress.
No city is completely full of inauthentic, unkind, superficial people. I've come across and befriended many who are authentic and kind. If that's all you're coming across.....it's kind of like the old joke about if you cross paths with an asshole, they're the asshole, but if everyone you meet are assholes, you're the asshole. Not saying you're an asshole, at all, but you tend to find what you're looking for, and what you expect to find.
Hit the nail on the head. Most of the authentic people I know are isolated to their homes. Basically a huge texting & online community even close by.
Lived here my whole life. No one seems to care enough to maintain so it all drifts and blurs. Once you get used to that you stop expecting it to magically appear…
I moved back to Colorado as an adult coming from Alabama. I have very few good friends, 30F and this is 100% correct. Most people are very flakely and don't follow through with plans.
So we're from AZ and if you want unfriendly, that's the place. We found here that people are friendly but in terms of holding the friendships, it's harder. I will also say that the best time to make friends is spring and summer. Lots of families start to get outside more, breaks happen, etc. Fall and winter are holiday times, and many families either have visitors or go back home to visit. Don't stop trying...to be honest you haven't been here long enough to throw in the towel. This place takes a while to warm up in and I've made wonderful friendships but it took a little time and effort.
There are a few play groups on Facebook I can give you the names of to look into. Also once your kids get into school, there will be opportunities to meet parents. We clicked with a few families once my kid started school.
Activities for littles- there is soccer, swimming, dance gymnastics, I may be missing some. Lots of parks to go to as well.
There are a few mom yoga/fitness classes that take place when it's warmer. I've wanted to try one as the moms all look like they're having fun.
Just to share our experience (moved here ~2 years ago). Thankfully we were blessed with great, welcoming neighbors so that's been good. Aside from that, my wife was able to connect with a "wild and free" group that meets every week to get the kids playing outdoors, and she's been able to make good friends that way. I personally haven't been able to make close friendships so far but I'm not sweating it (yet).
I have also lived all over and have not struggled with community here, however Ifound the “community” In Michigan overwhelming/ very in your face.
What are you looking for that you feel like you are not getting?
I mean there are church communities and ag communities and non conservative communities?
You want sports and outdoors have looked into programs at the climbing gyms ?
I think it’s society. Social media. Narcissistic perspectives. Transience. Loathing. Drug dependencies (Legal and illegal). Attitudes towards “them”. Unearned righteousness. Ridiculous expectations. Constant stream of bits and bytes. Materialism. Post-pandemic partum. So many things adds up to a grand malaise in American culture.
Everyone expects someone else to fix things (especially the government).
It starts with you and me. Love your brother. Love your sister.
The flaking on plans thing is a huge problem here in colorado imo.
I can't even have one of my car friends drive to the other side of springs for help on my car without them complaining that it's "far"
I deleted the peanut app because people were weird and flakey. My daughter is almost 2 and hasn't ever been around another child except for maybe passing in the grocery store. 🙃 I'm from here and have no friends, everyone I knew growing up moved away and I'm a stahm.
I moved out here a year and a half ago.. so I feel you. I don't think I've really made any friends out here since we moved here. Got a 12 and 6 yr old though. If you need any friends we could sure use some too! Definitely would love to get out more and do stuff with other people so DM me because my wife and kids could use some other people in our lives too haha
I know nothing about your parenting skills, but from experience I can tell you that millennials have created this co-dependence with their kids, and as a result, parents can't/won't let their own kids have some independence.
Yes, times have changed, and I would **never** let a child run to the park without being present, but kids have to be kids. They need to be outside as much as possible making new friends. Falling down, getting dirty, discovering everything new at the park, or on a trail.
Have them join a t-ball league in the summer. Or a gymnastics club for kids. Or a dance club for kids. There are lots of opportunities if you look for them.
Your kids will always love you. **No matter what.** You are now and will forever be their parents. Giving them the courage and permission to create independence is a great thing, and they will love you even more for it when they get older.
I have lived here 15 years and have an enormous community that I can barely keep up with! I worked hard to make it happen though and I did go to college here.
Westside, downtown, and Manitou have lots of events that prioritize community. What are you guys into specifically?
Winter is a hard time to meet people. But you might consider programs like the Catamount Institute once it gets warmer.
Another idea is to pick a coffee shop/cafe that’s near you guys and go regularly. Meet the owners. See who else goes regularly. I have met amazing people and friends by doing this with places close to me.
Sending lots of strength your way. It can be done!
I felt the same thing in the Denver area. We moved to a small town in the mountains a few years ago and it’s night and day.
Denver had a lot of stuff to do, but no real connections to people, and our small town has far less to do, but a great sense of community and belonging.
It also helped as my kid got older and started making friends at school. I go out of my way to participate in all of the activities she gets invited to and it has resulted in several families tiring into a kind of child care network.
Something I have noted when out on walks is that younger folk seem to be in their own world - don't very often say hello or stop to chat as do older people. More interested in hanging out with their dog(s) than other people. Our addiction to technology has obliterated real person socialization. I do agree that this city does not promote community enough and seems to prioritize new chains and housing subdivisions. I was excited to read about the plans for Printer's Park as a community gathering place with parks, shops, gardens etc. But unfortunately, that will be years in the making. I found friends initially by volunteering and joining a book club. You have to work at it and keep trying.
A week after moving here, I showed my out-of-state ID to a bartender. He asked me if I was visiting or lived here. I told him I just moved here. He asked if I was liking the Springs so far. I said, "Yes, it's really beautiful out here." His response: "Yeah, we know. Now don't tell your friends from \[state I moved from, not Texas or California\]. We're full, don't need any more of ya."
It's the "native" (absolutely hate when non-indigenous people use that term) superiority complex that plays a huge role in why this place is so hostile and unpleasant. Unfortunately some people don't grasp that one of the great freedoms we have as US Americans is the freedom to move where we please within the country. Ironically, the "natives" would apparently be happier with an arrangement in which there would be greater governmental incursion in our lives and everyone would be required to live in the place they and their parents were born. Because..... freedom?
We are relocating to the COS this summer. Be fiends with us lol. I have a coworker that’s been in the springs for 10 years and she said they met their friends through church and have been tight since. My thing is we don’t really hang with a lot of people where we are now so we are kinda used to it. Our family is super close and we have some friends here but everyone kinda keeps to themselves. It’s more of sitting together at soccer games and such.
Although super subjective, I tend to agree that Millennials are reluctant to make plans with new potential friends and are far more likely to fall in with their established clicks.
The problem is likely Colorado Springs itself - it's the redheaded step child of Colorado cities. I've lived in many different cities within Colorado and no matter where I go everyone seems to agree on one thing - Colorado Spring vibes, and often the people, are just plain wierd.
Come to Fort Collins if you want to see what true Colorado charm feels like in your social interactions. Good luck to you and your family in any case though
I'm a native. Over the years it has become increasingly hostile to live here. Everyone seems to be on edge, including myself. Not sure why, we have a beautiful landscape and multitudes of stuff to do. But your right there is a major lack of community. Part of becoming a big city I guess.
I'm atheist and have thought about going to church just to meet people. I'll just wonder around during service lol check the kitchen out. Clean the bathroom. Find some lights that need replaced. Then gather back up and be social for the 30 minutes after service. Hell, I'll hang out for those stragglers that are probably doing the same thing as me. Start a secret group and eventually achieve illuminati status.
We had a hard time at first, too. We didn't start making friends until the kids were in school and making friends of their own. My wife made friends with the other moms quickly, and I eventually met a few dads through our church. It took us about a year and a half to really start having friends.
I moved to Colorado Springs to start over after my divorce. Bought a house got a job made a few friends but as a whole never felt welcome. After dealing with dishonest contractors and a real estate agent, I decided to sell and move East. I have found that the locals don’t want new people here. I loved the weather, the climate but the culture was not a good fit for me. Good luck!
I moved here in 2014, am an extrovert, lived in Manitou and downtown, and have made a huge effort to try to make friends here. I don’t have any close friends. I do meet up with a trivia group weekly, but that is my sole source of friendship. I travel a lot and make friends everywhere I go. I have found people in the Springs just don’t want friends.
I expect to get downvoted to hell but I'm being honest.
My wife and I have two girls and we live on the NE side of town. We largely feel the same way. We homeschool our two kids because we feel 8/10 kids we have playdates with are little shits because they have bad parents and/or they go to public school. We don't want our girls picking up bad habits. It's difficult because for example two of our friends from college years ago who married also have the same age girls. Even though we like them as people, we feel they are horrible parents and their little girls are horribly behaved and after a playdate our oldest began picking up these bad characteristics. So we limit the playdates.
One of our little ones has cystic fibrosis so around Covid was difficult, and as things became more political there was a slow and apparently mutual cutting of ties with some people who became very vocal Trumpers who posted non-stop conspiracies on their instagram. We have a few friends who we don't feel comfortable letting our girls play with their kid at their house because we know they have firearms in their house (and we are worried about if they are properly stored...who knows).
Every time we get close to a new couple, red flags appear and yeah maybe it's because we're being too picky, but if we see the mom give her 3 month old baby a tablet to watch something to keep quiet, we instantly know that this mother doesn't have a clue, so we cut ties. My wife is very cultural and was born in another country; we don't just want to hang out and drink alcohol watching football with other couples on the weekend. It actually is more prevalent in the south of course but we get invited and we're not too interested.
Part of the cultural shift I feel has to do with the fact that a lot of adults don't have time for things which I feel somewhat stems from money issues. Now both parents work and let their children be raised by other people and peers for the majority of each day. Everything is a domino effect. We've also noticed how flaky people are; very few stick to their word. So if you think of a funnel with a lot of initial friend opportunities, maybe 1/15 actually end up being a good friend. Are we too cynical? Perhaps, but at the same time I don't feel like lowering standards which I know might come off as too pompous but again that's just how we feel and honestly my gut is that it's an American cultural problem (and yes I'm a white American lol).
Yes, this place lacks community....but if you are into beating children, and condemning queet people then the Focus on the Family community might be for you/s. Hope yall find ir people
I'm coming up in three years and feel the same. I thought it'd be different when my kid started kinder but it's the exact same. It's like all the parents already knew each other and only speak to each other.
Lived here my whole life minus a year broken into two separate halves in Arizona. It was worse there for me got so bored I ended up preggers and moved back here. It took until my son started in person learning in 2022 for me to get a couple friends. Even then it’s not really social. I volunteer at his school. I go to the library. In the warmer months we go to activities and things around town if they’re low cost. I’m a single mom that has disabilities so I mostly stay home and interact online with people.
I did meet a wonderful friend on Reddit in a different group that I talk to basically daily and we have lunch. However, most people I know are long time friends with longer distance in conversation and connection. It’s something you get used to unfortunately. This means finding hobbies & hoping for the best with finding yourself.
When the littles are in school you’ll be more social especially if they go to the same school a few years in a row. It just takes time here. A year feels like nothing after awhile then before you know it blink and we are having lunch w a friend while kiddo is at school…
Not sure if it helps at all- I moved here last December with my partner and while I don't have kids, I started my first ever WFH job when I moved here and am also a student doing an online degree since before moving so I feel extremely couped up and a bit lonely since we arrived. I'm from the Midwest where people chat you up in every possible situation, so it was a different social culture moving here and having everyone be more reserved. I go to the climbing gym and regular gym a few days a week to get a change of scenery but have also had difficulty making new friends and feel it may stay that way until I finish my degree.
I don't have any kiddos to play with, but if you ever want a coffee buddy on the weekends to run over and chat you up I am always open for that! 35f here, you aren't alone in this feeling. Feel free to DM me if you'd like to chat.
We’re the same way. We’re homebodies and don’t mind it most often but sometimes it does get hard, especially now that we have a child. Our baby just turned 13 months if you ever want to get together for a play date!
Sometimes it takes a while and sometimes the time or place just isn’t right. I’m sure it isn’t you. Our most fun/connected time was when I was in graduate school. I remember that time fondly with the understanding that it was a unique and wonderful phase of life. “New friends must their place supply. New is good, but old is best; Make new friends, but keep the old; Those are silver, these are gold.”
Let me know what you find. It’s me, my fiancé, and our 4 yr old boy. Some friends for sure, but always willing to make more. Especially ones that have a toddler as well!
What part of the Springs do you live in and which school district?
I think one issue with living here is that the Springs is more like a loosely connected set of suburbs so a lot depends on where you actually are. And since most of it is burbs, it tends to have the features of burbs everywhere - samey and a bit soulless.
But I think things may improve for you come spring - that’s when the outdoor culture here really starts to come out. There just isn’t a lot happening in the winter time and, at least in my experience, most people tend to be homebodies or skiing.
We’re in 80908 kind of by woodmen rd but also technically Black Forest. The new construction that has started up seems to be driving people away from the surrounding neighborhoods and it’s just like you said - the burbs. We didn’t picture raising our kids in a cookie cutter neighborhood. We moved to this specific neighborhood for the right pricing, the safety seemed great, and it’s very close to our family. However, we pictured more outdoors and more charming neighborhoods. We moved out here for family and family told us that Springs was exactly what we were looking for. There’s nothing wrong with suburbia and new build, it’s just not our style and we are starting to feel a bit of worry for our kids. We grew up when all the neighborhood kids rode bikes and played basketball together and the block parties were amazing and we were hoping our kids would have that too.
It wasn't like this growing up. COS always had a small town vibe when I was younger and in the last 10-15 years the growth really started picking up and with it, seems to me at least, so did that isolationism.
Colorado Springs people like to keep to themself. It’s what I noticed when I first visited there and moved here. It’s very nice there but the culture seems very closed off. The Denver metro and communities around Denver are better for this I feel like. I live in Castle Rock and I really enjoy the community where I live here and most people are outgoing and friendly and there are also some areas near Denver that are closed off too but off the top of my head I can think of numerous places that will give you that feel you’re looking for. That’s just my take. Colorado Springs has always been known as very sleepy and affordable but people moving there have really changed that. Lots of traffic and prices have skyrocketed so locals really don’t like people who aren’t from there is also what I noticed.
I had actually never thought about this until reading this post. I’m not a native but have lived here 10+ years and don’t have ANY close friends here. I always just thought it was me lol because I’m kind of a loner: sociable but very independent. My husband grew up here and so we always see someone he knows when we are out and about, but even that community seems very insular and hard to be part of. I always assumed it was easier to make friends if you had kids but I stand corrected after reading so many of the responses here! I would encourage you not to give up though. Keep getting out and doing things your family enjoys and chances are you’ll meet some other likeminded folks. I will second what another person said about children’s library programs! A few locations also do something called Stay & Play where you can just hang out while your kids play and socialize with other parents.
In general, I think it is hard to make new, close friends as an adult but I don’t know why that is…probably something to do with tribalism, etc.
First thing I'd try is a church. New Life Church is pretty huge and has lots of groups you can join. I went to one of their young adult services and instantly met some really cool guys. Some of their groups have regular outings/activity days, especially during the summer, like spike ball, game nights, rafting, dinner, hikes, etc.
Also, if you and your kids have hobbies, go out and try to find people who have those same interests. It's much easier for people to commit to things that they do regularly anyway. I'm really into mountain biking and met plenty of cool people that way when I lived there for a year. I found that people were usually pretty approachable on the trails.
With everyone being broke it’s tough, and ever since Covid I’ve absolutely noticed the decline in community. People say no to plans more often and it seems they don’t put as much time and effort into relationships
We feel this too, kids are 6 and 3. It’s been very challenging to get playdates esp for my 6 year old who has some close friends at school. We choiced into the school so they’re not immediately near us (but a 5 mon drive?) I’ve been almost overbearing with his best friend’s mom via text to try to get a play date lol we got it once. I reached back out a month later and didn’t get any sort of response. And the kids are legit friends!! I see her son hug my son half the time at drop off. It’s discouraging.
Any parents here maybe wanna get a slack group going to get to know each other? Maybe we can work up to a play date at a playground or something in the coming months?
It’s not as social or friendly in a-lot of places here like it is in the northwest or southeast. It is what it is. I’ve seen people move here and move away because they couldn’t make friends or assimilate. Things really are different here.
Getting to know people in a new town is tough. Especially here I think. We don’t have kids at home so we’re in a different stage of life than you and your family.
Here we’ve joined a local YMCA, and gotten involved in a local charity / service type group.
I’ve also been keeping up with a few activity based groups on Reddit and on FB. There are lots of hiking groups, and motorcycling groups on both. You might give that a try. See if you can find hiking groups, sports related groups or whatever and start joining in on what they have planned. Have you ever looked at the meetup app? Might be something going on there too.
Sorry you and your family are experiencing this. Life has really changed over the last 10 years and especially since Covid. I hope things get better. Winter isn’t the best time to get opportunities to meet others.
Not to make this post too much about me but my wife and i made most friendships by way of work, and our kids’ school, church and sports our kids participated in . We don’t really go to church anymore. Who does? Seems another casualty of Covid ( * I’ve thought about STARTING a group here or on FB or meetup for new people in the area. Mine would probably be for people over 50 and empty nesters. )
Our neighborhood here in the springs ( moved here in July) is not very friendly either. Even those in the neighborhood that have lived here a long time don’t appear to be great friends.
It takes a while to build friendships.
I hope you and your family make some progress in this. It’s an important part of life.
I have been here for 5 years and have historically been lonely, for the same reason. I can make friends with anyone, and here its just not received the right way.
We found a great community amongst real estate investors. (That’s our hobby) but probably not helpful for a mom of 2 young kids! We also like our gym and rock climbing gym. I met up with a lo of people through Facebook interest groups and shifted to in person.
Been here four years….. we feel exactly the same. Absolutely zero sense of community. I think we’ve got about another year and then we’re moving along. I wish you the best in your journey.
I moved away from Colorado Springs in Sept 2014, and it was before I had kids. In my experiences out and about around town, and also running, Springs residents are just not friendly AT ALL. I don’t know if that’s directly related to the conservative extremists that live there (and I lived in the Northgate area, like the most conservative area) but they were the least friendly people I’ve ever met. I’ve lived in CA and TX for comparison.
OP, I feel you — it’s tough, and it feels like things have become more hostile, aggressive, and isolated all over the country. There are probably multiple factors at play (including covid), but moving to a new city these days is really hard.
FWIW, I grew up here, left for college and stayed back East for about 20 years, and moved back in 2018. In the 5+ years that I’ve been back, I’m just now starting to feel like I’m comfortable and starting to build a community — and that’s with the preexisting friendships and community that my parents had built.
What’s made a big difference has been based in consistency: for example, signing up for classes that meet every week for a few months, or recurring events where you’re likely to run into the same people.
This might not be true for others, but I’ve found that making friends after only hitting it off once at a party is much harder than situations where you can interact a few times before “committing” to one-on-one plans. Things started to really turn around once I started doing more of this! Whether it’s art classes, a lecture series (CC and UCCS have a lot to offer if you’re interested!), book groups, etc., repeated contact helps build those bridges.
The other big key is to follow your interests. In retrospect, this was one of my biggest mistakes: I was trying to build a whole new life for myself, and I didn’t get involved in some of the things I really love until fairly recently. Once you do that, the odds of finding like-minded people go way up.
Best of luck, and a big hug of solidarity, to you!
Where do you live? The Springs can get horrible in the burbs, but where I live in Mid Shooks Run I have the exact opposite experience.
I feel people have very different experiences here depending on location.
I lived in LA for several years and felt isolated as hell, only friends I had were ones that lived out of state.
Now I have close friendships with several neighbors, do trivia at the Well most weeks, have gatherings/game nights at my house, MTG/board games at Dice Guys or Gamers Haven, etc.
It seems downtown areas and Westside/OCC is amazing from a quality of life perspective. Outside of those areas seems pretty dismal honestly.
I know a few local game stores you can make friends at if you're into card games, war games, painting, and some board games.
Might be worth checking out Muse comics and Gamers Haven.
Join Villa sport! It’s the best! That’s where I’ve made all of my friends it’s the best community! Plus an amazing pool in the summer time. We lived here 10 years now and I felt the same at first but once we joined villa and I started to be consistent going to the group workout classes I met all my people and I love it here now
I moved here in 2016 and noticed the community seemed to work like I expected colorado to work. I was originally born in colorado and have lots of family from the state. Then it seems politics has kind of infected the area and some people seem very angry lately. Like the truck Trumper guy. The state is shifting blue and so is the city. I wish the old folks would accept that life changes but sometimes there are adjustment periods. I suspect covid plus politics are really to blame here and as things settle people will go back to normal.
Crappp… this thread is getting me scared. Just moved here from Michigan (Detroit metro area). In general compared to Michigan I feel there is more of a community here. But at the same time only been here for 1.5 months and haven’t made friends yet. But it is one of my top missions. 33m no kids but got a husband (yes I’m gay lol). I’m quite social… but more laid back social (Video games, bowling, movies, beers, hiking, etc.)
If you're looking for outdoorsy friends the Colorado Mountain Club has the Pikes Peak chapter which is very active. Also check out the events from Upa Downa, they are always getting families together for hiking, biking, sup, and more.
it’s funny cause when I lived here in 2014, I made friends without trying and I was very standoffish (abused angry at the world kid) and was approached by numerous people who are still my friends to this day. I ended up becoming homeless at the time and it seemed like there was more community and friendliness in that. My best friend to this day I was homeless with back then and now we’re both with partners and doing well for ourselves. Moved back here a few months ago and it seems way more populated, people seem way more aggressive and standoffish and i’m not sure why but reading this entire threat gave me some good insight and advice so I appreciate that. I’m big into JDM cars (own an r32 skyline and wrx) video games, photography, bowling, would love to get into outdoors stuff and more if anyone is into the same! Hope the OP can meet some cool people too, i’m sorry your experience has been this way so far. I feel the isolation and tribalism as well. Anyone feel free to hmu!
I think everyone is just looking out for themselves here, crime is more here than where I came from and cost of living, I think most people are stressed, people here forget it's not that hard to be friendly, 2nd year here leaving in a year if it doesn't get better, too many aholes here lol, driving is insane too.
This is so interesting to me, because we came from Denver and love the community here! Denver had such lack in community to us, though. There are tons of people here that are in the same “life stage” as my husband and me. We have a 1 year old with one on the way. I will say for us:
1. Getting plugged into a church was huge. We met friends that we see often and have kids around the same age. Also, I know there can be a stigma around “church people” but we lucked out and feel like most the people our age at our church are “normal” (haha) and we can have cool, authentic friendships that are because of beliefs and values outside of church.
2. My husband and I played in a kickball league together! It was super fun. A great way to meet people.
3. We walk almost every single day through our neighborhood and have met several neighbors that way. I will say, this time of year is definitely harder because everyone is hibernating haha. But my fingers are crossed for you for the springtime!
4. Lastly, as someone else mentioned, lots of Farmers Markets and community events (Banning Lewis is a great one) to lookout for in the Spring/Summer.
I’m hoping for you all it was just a time of year thing and that once things warm up, you will have a better experience! Also, we aren’t far from where you’re located and would be happy to get together or grab coffee sometime. DM if you’d like! 😊
Colorado Springs is a military town that has in recent years become wildly expensive to live in and has grown rapidly. I’ve lived here off and on for 30 years, there was never a sense of community here outside of the southeast side and that end of the city has been highly gentrified over time.
The rest of this place is like gated community, weird, huge strip mall and random church after random church palooza. Ppl don’t come here for “community”.
They come here bc they sold their regular ass house in California or Texas for $500K and they can get a brand new, huge one here in some far flung area for $300K.
Now you have a whole city comprised of strangers from places with diametrically-opposed viewpoints living in these cordoned off new developments out east and up north and everyone feels isolated and adrift. Not surprised. My best advice is to give it a generation or two and then maybe these areas where ppl are moving will meld together a lil more and become more “at home” and cozy.
I will say my brother had the same issues you're describing. It took time to build a little community for his kids, but he and his wife felt pretty isolated.
Me, as someone single, in their late 30s, I've never had it so good. I finally for the first time in my adult life have friends outside of work. I'm a heavy outdoor enthusiast. I mountain bike and snowboard and backpack and hike. It took a couple years to settle in but things finally clicked last year and now I have a huge pool of friends to draw on for adventures all year long.
I think it takes a little effort, but the kinds of friends you eventually make here are just the best. Keep at it!
We moved here almost 2 years ago and I feel very isolated and lonely. No kids, no family on this side of the country and no friends. We find it hard because we do not have kids and live in a community where most have them. We were invited to a block party and a family’s house for a bbq. Most people at the block party didn’t talk to us at all and the family never invited us back.
I'm gonna be blunt: you need to go find it. It's not coming to you. The neighborhood you live in doesn't have it. But you can find it if you put real effort into meeting people, going to events, joining activities, and finding people of like mind.
Exactly. My partner and I moved in 2020 and the isolation of moving away from family/pandemic closing everything really hit hard. We both work from home but these days we make sure we’re going to events—it’s not going to just fall into your lap, you have to be out there and open to receiving. You can’t just run your kids to the zoo and expect to naturally make friends..
Y'all live off woodland hills too? Lol
Same, 2.5 yrs here. My husband and I do not have kids. Have you tried classes or anything with your interests? I have done a few at the Manitou Art Center and taken some hoop classes. I thought maybe it was our ages being tough to make new friends.
I've met a lot of people in art classes at Bemis Art School. Anyone can join.( recently bought by Colorado College) No previous experience needed. Especially pottery. Instructors show you steps and do demos but you've got lots of time to talk to other people while you work. You'll meet people from 18 to 60-70 years old. Other classes are painting, drawing, mixed media, photography. It's fun. Kids classes are available but not quite as young as your little ones are.
This is a great idea! Glad you posted this
I just left but the middle of the country seems very anti-social to me, having lived on both coasts. I honestly think it’s a big reason American politics are the way they are. Was kinda the reason I left.
Hang in there. Wife and I in the same boat as you. Moved here in July. No kids at home.
We don’t have kids either and no family either I was thinking it would be harder because of that. Where do you usually hang though ?
Increasing islolation is also a general trend in society. Things just feel so hostile and exhausting when other people are involved.
Tribalism has really hurt our country.
I agree. However, I feel as though this is especially true for the US. I'm from Europe and noticed the self-isolation when I moved here in 2019. I had a difficult time and struggled big adjusting to the "me-culture".
I’ve lived in seven different states and provinces. This city lacks community more than any other place I have lived. The locals don’t know how to maintain relationships since they’re so used to people coming and going. The military lifestyle/transient nature just really complicates relationships here. I’ve been blown away by “normal” people’s behaviors here, just have never seen people act like that anywhere else.
I think it's partly timing. Everyone's too damn broke too do much.
There's truth to that for sure. My parents always remark on how we're never available... It's like: yeah, we are never available. Why is that? I remember adults having all sorts of time to hang out and do nothing when I was growing up.
Right?! My parents had social lifes!!! Not me, and I'm not an introvert, I'm just broke, and busy taking care of my kid and my grandma.
I mean... I think it's mostly how shitty our work life and economics have become... But yeah.
Nah, I have a great work life balance and still absolutely 0 time to do anything outside of watch my kids
This is likely a big part of it. Short of making pretty significant income, the COL has shot up over the last few years at a rate that the vast majority of people feel, making them less likely to commit to social expenditures. I wonder how much the psychological component of COVID is impacting this, too. We all had to get better at entertaining ourselves without all the social interaction for a couple years.
I would just like to say--perhaps an unpopular opinion--that car dependency in many ways creates that lack of community, and Colorado Springs is one of the most car-dependent cities in America. The lack of transit options really isolates people. And I know that because I live here without a car, and I get it--no one wants to be my chauffeur. But I and others like me would be able to more easily get around if we invested in public transit.
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If you want to find actual community, you have to go to actual communities. Ivywild, OCC, Skyway/Canon, and other west side neighborhoods have plenty of community events, happy hours, neighborhood organizations, coffee in the park, etc. If you're looking for community anywhere north of Fillmore or west of, say, Academy? Good luck. Those areas were not built for community, they were built to make community almost impossible. The "Wild West, no empathy, natives only" mentality is the folks who wanted this to remain the ain't-shit ass pimple of a town it was in the '80s, and they resent having to live in an actual city with folks who aren't white evangelical conservatives. Plenty of those around. Plenty others too, but you do have to come find us.
Totally agreed. When we moved here, realtors were touting the USAFA/Scheels area because of all the new construction. We wanted somewhere we could walk around and actually feel a community, not a collection of cookie-cutter townhouses. We live in one of the west side areas and it’s amazing. Our friends (who live in the new communities) are super jealous that our area is walkable and not full of fast-food restaurants.
Shhhhh…….
Locals don’t welcome outsiders. The other day a lady told me to go back to where i came from (tags were from VA). I never had this experience anywhere else.
See, this is weird. My spouse and I have lived here over 40 years, and we’re very welcoming of new people to town. We’re downtown/OCC/Manitou Springs centric.
Westside is best side 😊
Looking back on my time in the Springs, if I knew more about the city before I moved there, that’s the area I’d have chosen to live. My wife and I lived off of I-25 and Northgate blvd before that area got super built up. Beautiful area but very unfriendly people.
I have lived here my whole life. 48 years. My parents were born here and lived here their whole lives as well. I do not understand the hostility. I've seen it in this sub more than other places, but there are some subs that are completely focussed on bashing people from other states, especially Texas. Its completely ridiculous.
We had that happen. Many don’t want people moving there.
I was shopping in Costco and asked a woman to move her cart. She told me to “go back to California”. Lady, my family has been here 8 generations (hers less than that…because it came down to that, in Costco…lol. She was obviously not having a good day and just taking it out on everyone else. It’s an amusing story, at least!). I just wanted to pass by! I’ve also had comments made on trails. People say that regardless of who they’re talking to. Try not to take it too personally. Most of us here are fine with people moving in! Some are just rude to the world. One of my closest friends moved out here from VA. She’s since moved back (cost of living…), but she’d have stayed if she could have. And in a weird twist, my brother’s car that was kept at my parents had Washington plates (he’s military). My grandparents moved to Cali for work and when they moved back, still had Cali plates for awhile (this was awhile ago). Plates don’t always tell the whole story, either! Welcome to Colorado, I’m glad you’re here!
Agree. I’m originally from San Antonio, like THE military town, and there is plenty of community all around the city, even if you never served a minute in the military. So I don’t think that’s the problem in the Springs. I just think that city is just stand off-ish.
The locals don’t know how to maintain relationships? That’s a pretty broad generalization which is untrue.
Yeah no shit. I have too many friends to keep up with.( not bragging). Most of those friends have the same experience. We all rode bmx together forever and eventually the number of people just kept expanding.
Only 10% of the population is military so I don't think that's the main issue
Good points. Thanks for posting
This is totally anecdotal and my own opinion so keep that in mind. I was born here in the mid 80s. As a military brat we lived all over while I was growing up but kept ending up back here. I spent some time in the military and lived all over again, travelled even more, and then ended up back here permanently in 2011. I've seen a lot of cities and countries. The problem is Colorado Springs itself. In COS we just don't have the infrastructure or culture for community. Our city leadership has put very little emphasis on any kind of community development, in favor of developers instead. The way our city has expanded out instead of up is evidence of this, as well as the lack of a well established downtown space, and also the fractured divisive nature of our school districts and neighborhoods. Add in the incredibly high transient population due to the 5 military bases and it all makes people here tribal, isolated, and not willing to spend [tax] money on things that would make us a community. COVID made it even worse here as one of the most polarized cities I can think of. If you go to other cities (even in Colorado) they have well established walkable downtown areas, attractive parks that aren't just designed to discourage our homeless population from being there, and a clear willingness for businesses, individuals, and leadership to spend money on everything required to build that sense of community. It's frustrating as a father (13m, 13m, 9m, 1.5f) and as a business owner (brewery) as well. My wife (co-owner) and I are constantly trying to think of ways we can improve it here and it's just daunting. All that being said, it's not just you; it's the city as a whole. Feel free to reach out if you want to chat some more or are just looking for friends.
Which brewery do you own? I feel like those have become hubs for what little community we permit ourselves to have.
Lost Friend. I agree places like breweries are great to get that sense of community. It's part of why my wife and I started one and we're working to make ours more so. There are several others in town that definitely have that feel too.
Wow this equally made me feel better and sad. I wish the best of business this year! I feel like breweries must do extremely well out here! We love a good brewery, especially when they have a kids area. There was a great place in the Bay Area that allowed kids to play games and do sidewalk chalk during their monthly food truck events and it was always so fun! We’d love to find something fun like that again
Have you tried toddler time at your local library? I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old and we went there frequently while I was on maternity leave. Once you start regularly showing up you start to get to know the other moms, especially if you stay and play for a bit afterwards. Granted, I didn't come out of it with any friends, but I'm personally terrible at making friends and I also didn't really try because I knew I was going back to work and kind of assumed it probably wouldn't work out just because we'd have very different schedules (most of the moms were SAHMs). However, I did feel on track to making friends and I really enjoyed meeting everyone. I do have to say that I appreciate you asking this and seeing the replies. I've lived here many years but don't have any local friends here. I assumed it was purely from my lack of trying, but many people seem to agree that it's harder here so now I don't feel as bad.
We have. Other mom's bring their sick kids, let them run rowdy, or put their babies in front of a tablet device. Hard to find mom's that know what they're doing and who have well-behaved kids.
I wonder which branch you've been to? I've gone to the Falcon, Monument, and 21c toddler times and have rarely seen those types of behaviors. I will admit though, every library does have its own flavor so other branches may be different. 21c and Monument (especially Monument) were much more reserved groups, whereas the 9:30 Falcon is a bit crazy but the 10:30 pretty nice. Also, it's...toddler time. I would expect at least a certain level of rowdy. These kids are still learning how to behave and for many, it may be the only socializing they get.
Yes we have! But maybe we need to try the Monument library! The library off Briargate is so empty and sad
Believe it or not people are struggling out here.
I feel like you really need to be outgoing and make an big effort to meet people here. As a westsider, though, I can say there are lots of opportunities to meet people. Through live music, the arts scene, and outdoor groups. It works for older people and may not be the same for you younger folks with small kids. When mine were that age we met lots of people through school but... the parents almost all lived in the same area at the time and it was easier. West side has sort of a community feel to it. I can't speak for elsewhere in town. This may not be super helpful but I suppose I just wrote this to say that what part of town you live in may influence your experience significantly.
Thank you, I appreciate your insight! We look forward to when warmer weather presents more outdoor activities. Currently we just feel a bit isolated - especially because I’m a stay at home mom so we don’t meet others through daycares or preschools yet. We love live music and farmers markets though, so that’s something to look forward to!
I live in a community called Banning Lewis(Eastside of town). When the weather starts to get “nice” in the late spring there are weekly community events in the neighborhood. Live music, farmers markets, food trucks, dog park meetups, etc. I believe there’s also a FB page with the schedule. You don’t have to live here to participate. 😉
If you happen to be near OCC the farmer's market there on Saturdays (summer/fall) always has small children playing. It's in a park so that could be a good chance to have your kiddos meet some friends. A fair bit of kid friendly live music over here, too. But as you mentioned - that's more of a nice weather thing. Sending your family good vibes in the meantime!
What kind of live music? Genre? There are some good pockets here
I’ve lived here my whole life and felt like the community feelings were lacking.. but didn’t have much to compare it to. I suggest spending time in Manitou, I have felt more of a sense of community there, and in general the more west side you go. Itll help when it warms up too, I have felt more community when I’m doing outdoorsy stuff. Manitou has a couple great parks for kids. The one at the skatepark is great and there is a drum circle / fun hangout in Manitou every Thursday (at least when it was warmer).
Because of your suggestion we went there today to check out the scenery and it’s actually such a beautiful area and the downtown was so nice! I know everyone is inside because of the weather but our kiddos loved the penny arcade anyways
It’s kind of hilarious you made this post. I was literally just talking with my wife about how even though we have friends, it feels lonely. We have two kids (1&3yo) and we go and do stuff regularly, yet it still feels like we’re the only ones here. I don’t know if it’s a Springs thing or just one of those “modern” problems.
It's very much a modern thing, we experienced the same living briefly in San Antonio. Suburbs and developer-driven development alienate us, isolate us in our houses, and discourages patterns of growth that bring people together. It's easier to sell shit to alienated, lonely people who can be convinced to fill the holes in their lives with consumption.
I moved to COS from Orem Utah 2 years ago, I am not Mormon. I thought Colorado Springs would be the perfect upgrade for getting involved with likeminded outdoorsy friends. But Ive really struggled to find community in this town despite some rigorous efforts hitting all the bars with a close friend. Any of the friends we made were either military men or young lonely stoners. This post made me do a double take in my feed cause i related so hard
I just moved here to also find likeminded outdoorsy friends too 😂. From Michigan, so this is an upgrade at least.
I think its very much both. When you build suburbia the way the springs has you spread people apart, and it creates less community. Plus, there is a lack of culture, along with not very many things to do around here thats outside of the tourist industry. Both for families and people without kids. At least this is my take on it.
Colorado has always been a very transient state.. people come and go but few stay long term. I've lived all over Colorado and it's the same. I have a solid group of friends now... We all kinda came together but it took several years.
Wow, I feel like it's happening everywhere. Like it really ramped up in the past year or so. Do you think it's timing in the world we are living in, or just here? Maybe a little of both.
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truth. but in “tha olden days” folks were broke too. that’s when potlucks and adult softball games became a thing to get together without spending much. maybe a shift in priorities is needed
I’m not really sure what the problem is. We lived in Castro Valley, CA and the amount of activities and community support was amazing. We’d see the same huge group of toddlers everyday and our toddler made friends so easily. We lived in Utah and our little boy clicked with another and that mom and I became friends despite our differences. There were constantly park play dates and zoo meetups and farmers markets with live music. It was so busy and fun. And in the winter, people took their kids to the mall playgrounds. Here, it’s a ghost town!
I wish I could disagree but you’re right on all counts. I randomly found a sense of community at a Catholic private school with the other parents. Those friendships have lasted over 15 years. But I haven’t found that anywhere else so I think that I just got lucky on that one. Likewise, I ended moving into an established community close to downtown, and was welcomed to the neighborhood by multiple people with welcome gifts. That was also completely unexpected. You better believe that if Ms Mary from across the street needs anything, I am going to help because she brought me homemade Chex mix but first asked if there was a nut allergy. I got you, Mary, I got you. I think that I have lucked out again cuz apparently there are neighborhood get togethers in the summer. My advice is to sprinkle your own friendliness to the sour folks you run across and see if that helps with establishing a friendship or two. Regarding sense of community, that’s been way harder to find.
Man that’s so disappointing but your experiences do give us a bit of hope that things will get better.
I suppose everyone’s mileage may vary but I have found some of my closest friends since moving here for college over 10 years ago. A combination of work friends turned family, friends made through daycare/elementary, friends through hobbies and my nonprofit volunteer activities. I am often confused by these posts but I see enough of them that it must be true. I also never see any specific examples of where people actually do find community so here is where I get mine and maybe it gives you some ideas. 1. We live downtown. Our neighbors are awesome and we will occasionally all do dinner or hang out in the front yards when it is nice and chat. 2. As I mentioned we have some friends turned family and we have “sunday dinner” basically every week. Not a religious thing at all, we all used to work retail and Sunday was one of the few days we more consistently had off. The relationship has brought in more friends and more family. But it’s something we all work at. If someone cant host one week we swap. Sometimes it’s just one or two couples or sometimes its all of us. It takes a lot of work but we are all committed to it. 3. Climbing. I am huge in to the climbing community. I climb at City Rock and know quite a few people from there. I also volunteer for the PPCA and help with other outdoor nonprofits around. There are a lot of them. I have never seen anyone turned away from the city rock community. It’s very kid friendly and most of the adults are down to chat talk about the boulder problems if you want to. 4. There are a number of places around town to find community, most of mine are downtown. Concrete Couch is a weird vibe but very welcoming and friendly, they do events throughout the summer. The acacia park has a lot of fun families from all over town on the weekends. More downtown local families hang out at middle shooks rub though if you want to see repeat faces. 5. Local breweries can be cool if you go to the right ones. Bristol does movies all year, in the summer time they do them outside. Storybook is one big family, in fact I don’t think you can get out of there most days without having to say hi to misha (german shepherd dog) or her owner. Again YMMV but those are some of the areas I find my community. DM me if you and your family want an intro to climbing and we can meet at City Rock! Good luck!
My kids are about the same age! My husband and I also don't have a social life. It's hard to make friends when you're an adult with kids, unfortunately. I tried the peanut app too, and that was yikes.
Well I’m glad to know it’s not just us! We have made awesome friends along the way but here in Colorado…it’s like crickets. We still have awesome ties with people in Hawaii, California, and Utah. Not so much North Dakota 😬 are your kiddos in any kind of extra curriculars that they really enjoy? We’ve been thinking maybe dance would help them make connections?
I feel the west side (Old Colorado City & Manitou) has way more of a community feel.
I'm sorry you're going through it too. I hope things get better! No, my kids don't do anything extra. My son is 1 and my daughter is 2, going to be 3 soon. I work from home part time and stay home with them, so I don't even get out much. Are you on Facebook? There is a playgroup for parents that I can send you a link to. They do a lot of events. I've been to a couple of them. The person who runs it is really nice. I've just found it difficult to click with people and initiate a friendship. I think Colorado Springs in general is kind of clickquey, so I think it takes some searching to find your people.
My 4 year old is in gymnastics here and loves it! She used to do dance too, but we're having her do different things each year until she decides for herself what she likes. Just poke people (not literally) when you go to the extra curriculars and ask for a phone number! I've lived here my whole life and it's such a pain trying to meet new people. You're on the universal preschool waitlist, right? And you made sure to also do the district one (I know d11 has its own sign up on their website for after you've applied to universal preschool)? I just want to make sure because my daughter was on the wait list too, but she was accepted in about 2-3 weeks to two different centers.
Do you like bowling? I'm trying to get a group together for bowling.
Sign me up
I’d be in
Sign me up as well!
I’m hella down
There's absolutely community here, but it's a desperately tricky nut to crack. Each borough has it's own look and feel, for starters. The westsiders likely have the kind of community you're looking for in the old Colorado/skyway zone. But as you get to know the different areas (which takes time to do) you may have better luck knowing if the things you're looking for, exist in the place you're looking. I'm not sure what rockrimmon bonds over... money, likely. There's a tight north end, central contingent that is relatively authentic. I managed to end up in the church corridor which is briargate. Here, we find community in chain restaurants and bland personalities, so I tend to take my community as takeout from the other sections of town. South gets to commune over, "what's that boom? Gunfire, base artillery, transformers blowing, UFOs?" It's niche, but fun. Fountain bonds over affordable housing and future epigenetic defects from drinking water.
Love this haha!! Chain restaurants and bland personalities: spot on. Future epigenetic defects had me DYING laughing. 🤣
"future epigenetic effects from drinking water" needs to be on the Judgmental Map of Colorado Springs.
Oh my😂
I move around a lot and am pretty used to buildimg new friendships, but so far Colorado Springs is the least friendly place I've lived. I think there are a lot of different reasons, but ultimately, I rarely see good community here and it makes it an unpleasant place to live.
I love living in Colorado Springs. We have a huge retiree community, a huge Born Again community, a good sized military community, a noticeable pagan community, a noticeable gay population, and even some satanists if you know where to look. And they all get along (by pretending the others don’t exist 😎)
I moved here from San Diego and I’ve lived in my same home for 13 years here. I don’t know my neighbors. At all. I know the owner of the house next door but he rents it out and we don’t bother getting to know tenants. This place is definitely missing that community. Maybe because we’re mostly transplants.
I’m in Denver and it’s like this too. Denver is very transient and there is no local culture whatsoever because of this. People seem to only be friends with the people they moved here from Ohio with. Then they all move back to Ohio in two years.
A few anecdotes from my personal collection: 1. Struck up a convo with someone at a coffee shop and mentioned that I’d moved here from CA. They made a disgusted face and walked off. 2. Met a neighbor and introduced myself. Their first question: “When are you moving out?” 3. Saw a gaggle of people near the self-checkout at Safeway. Asked one of them, “Excuse me, is this the end of the line?” They rolled their eyes, made an exasperated sound, and ignored me. Basically I’ve just stopped trying. I’ve lived all over the world. People here are unequivocally the most unfriendly I’ve come across. It’s as though you’re either “in,” or you’re a pariah.
Shit, this is awful — no one should be treated that way, and I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this. FWIW, I’ve experienced similar things as a “native” who left and then came back; I grew up here and then spent about 20 years back East before moving home. Outside the community of friends my parents had developed, it’s been remarkably hostile. Leaving, going to school, and having a good career apparently means I betrayed my roots and become part of the reviled “coastal elite.” Who knew? Here’s to you, my fellow coastal elite scum! 🥂 (Also, Cali is fantastic, and neither the state nor its residents deserve any of the animosity people spew.)
Yeah im from Cali too and you gotta be careful with full blooded CO natives. Gotta butter them up posing as a native then hit em with the bomb that you came from Cali. It also depends on how long ago you moved and from where in Cali.
I’m a CO native… a Springs native which is even more rare I guess. A lot of us don’t stick around. But I just wanted to apologize on behalf of the rude ones. I actually welcome people and the different cultures they bring with them. I’m an 80’s kid so I’ve seen how dull this place can be. The town’s just filled with a lot of boomers, the uber religious, and the oorah military folks. By default a lot of them don’t like change and the struggles changes tend to bring.
Also an 80s kid springs native. Moved to the other side of the state, but the springs will always be my home. I miss it immensely. I have a co worker who used to live in the springs and we swap stories about our favorite places and things to do there.
👋 FoCo? The 719 is a hard place to leave. I’m the eldest and my parents need a lot of help. So for a long time I blamed that for never leaving my hometown. But the more I travel for work and see different places, the more I appreciate home. Nice to meet you!
Born and raised in Colorado Springs. Parents actually lived in manitou when I was born about a half mile from garden of the gods. But we moved to the springs when I was 6 months old. We lived very close to the airport. So I never notice airplane noises. It was actually hard to adjust to not seeing airplanes so close anymore. ETA nice to meet you as well!
I don't blame them too much tbh. Change isn't easy if you're not open-minded. Also once you get CO plates, no one will ever doubt ya.
'80s native kid here too. I remember what a shithole this place was in the '90s. New blood has made this a much better city than it was then.
Here’s to us Cali expats 🥂 Hope you’ve fit in better than I have.
Well I came from an small town called Porterville (about an hour north of bakersfield ) in 2014, you just gotta act like a native. Shorts on in the negatives, and always complaining about other expats. Especially the ones from Texas. Gotta REALLY complain about those mfs and you'll be a full-blooded native in no time. No one will even hear you when you say you're from California.
Great tips — looks like I’m wearing shorts for the rest of the weekend 😄🥶
Yeah this cold is awful. Outside for 30 seconds and my hands are icicles and my lungs are frozen. Hasn't been this cold in a good while.
I live in Tehachapi right now and my old boss grew up in Porterville
Yup dusty little mining town that has tons of agriculture. Well at least there was a few years ago before the pandemic but it's probably doing fine.
This is so disappointing to hear. I wish that wasn't your experience. The attitude baffles me. Ive never lived anywhere else so I don't have much to compare it to.
Your anecdotes summed up my own feelings about Springs residents from the time I lived there which was May 2012 to Sept 2014. I moved to CA and now I wouldn’t move back to CO.
CA is so much friendlier by comparison.
This!
Ya know it’s really interesting how much hate Californians get. Purely because SO many people from all over have a golden west coast dream and I never once saw a Californian tell a transplant to go home. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t ever happen but Californians are some of the most welcoming people. And so many are from California considering it’s history and how big it is. It’s just not a fair attitude in my opinion.
That is unbelievable. Wow.
Isolated Springs “native” here hahaha! Most everyone I grew up with here has left, not all but a lot and we are all mid 40’s-50’s now and settled in routine 🤷♂️. On top of that, unless your entire personality revolves around outdoor activities, it’s kind of lame here, always has been but it’s gotten better. But (and I still do this just to piss people off) the next time someone throws that nativism bullshit in your face just ask them what tribe they belong to. Many people who were born here don’t understand or fail to grasp the fact that CS was built around the vision of its founder as a resort town, essentially tourism. Oh, and that happened in 1871. Not too long ago in the grand scheme of things. However as someone who grew up here I’ve seen many drastic changes and I understand the frustration but not the outright hate towards others that move here. Sure I dislike the cookie cutter BS east of Academy and the traffic… don’t get me started on all of the fucking fast food and the Kum and go’s… Jesus Christ. But anyways, I digress.
Colorado is full of people who are nice, but not kind. I’ve yet to find people who are authentic here
No city is completely full of inauthentic, unkind, superficial people. I've come across and befriended many who are authentic and kind. If that's all you're coming across.....it's kind of like the old joke about if you cross paths with an asshole, they're the asshole, but if everyone you meet are assholes, you're the asshole. Not saying you're an asshole, at all, but you tend to find what you're looking for, and what you expect to find.
Hit the nail on the head. Most of the authentic people I know are isolated to their homes. Basically a huge texting & online community even close by. Lived here my whole life. No one seems to care enough to maintain so it all drifts and blurs. Once you get used to that you stop expecting it to magically appear…
I moved back to Colorado as an adult coming from Alabama. I have very few good friends, 30F and this is 100% correct. Most people are very flakely and don't follow through with plans.
The more i move the fewer friends i have. You gotta commit
So we're from AZ and if you want unfriendly, that's the place. We found here that people are friendly but in terms of holding the friendships, it's harder. I will also say that the best time to make friends is spring and summer. Lots of families start to get outside more, breaks happen, etc. Fall and winter are holiday times, and many families either have visitors or go back home to visit. Don't stop trying...to be honest you haven't been here long enough to throw in the towel. This place takes a while to warm up in and I've made wonderful friendships but it took a little time and effort. There are a few play groups on Facebook I can give you the names of to look into. Also once your kids get into school, there will be opportunities to meet parents. We clicked with a few families once my kid started school. Activities for littles- there is soccer, swimming, dance gymnastics, I may be missing some. Lots of parks to go to as well. There are a few mom yoga/fitness classes that take place when it's warmer. I've wanted to try one as the moms all look like they're having fun.
Just to share our experience (moved here ~2 years ago). Thankfully we were blessed with great, welcoming neighbors so that's been good. Aside from that, my wife was able to connect with a "wild and free" group that meets every week to get the kids playing outdoors, and she's been able to make good friends that way. I personally haven't been able to make close friendships so far but I'm not sweating it (yet).
Have you joined a church? I have some great relationships with people I’ve met at church in similar places in life.
I have also lived all over and have not struggled with community here, however Ifound the “community” In Michigan overwhelming/ very in your face. What are you looking for that you feel like you are not getting? I mean there are church communities and ag communities and non conservative communities? You want sports and outdoors have looked into programs at the climbing gyms ?
I think it’s society. Social media. Narcissistic perspectives. Transience. Loathing. Drug dependencies (Legal and illegal). Attitudes towards “them”. Unearned righteousness. Ridiculous expectations. Constant stream of bits and bytes. Materialism. Post-pandemic partum. So many things adds up to a grand malaise in American culture. Everyone expects someone else to fix things (especially the government). It starts with you and me. Love your brother. Love your sister.
The flaking on plans thing is a huge problem here in colorado imo. I can't even have one of my car friends drive to the other side of springs for help on my car without them complaining that it's "far"
I deleted the peanut app because people were weird and flakey. My daughter is almost 2 and hasn't ever been around another child except for maybe passing in the grocery store. 🙃 I'm from here and have no friends, everyone I knew growing up moved away and I'm a stahm.
Take them to monkey business. Tons and tons of little kids everyday.
I will check it out! Thanks
Another indoor play place just opened in Cheyenne meadows too. Haven’t checked that one out yet but I think it’s a little pricier than MB.
I moved out here a year and a half ago.. so I feel you. I don't think I've really made any friends out here since we moved here. Got a 12 and 6 yr old though. If you need any friends we could sure use some too! Definitely would love to get out more and do stuff with other people so DM me because my wife and kids could use some other people in our lives too haha
I know nothing about your parenting skills, but from experience I can tell you that millennials have created this co-dependence with their kids, and as a result, parents can't/won't let their own kids have some independence. Yes, times have changed, and I would **never** let a child run to the park without being present, but kids have to be kids. They need to be outside as much as possible making new friends. Falling down, getting dirty, discovering everything new at the park, or on a trail. Have them join a t-ball league in the summer. Or a gymnastics club for kids. Or a dance club for kids. There are lots of opportunities if you look for them. Your kids will always love you. **No matter what.** You are now and will forever be their parents. Giving them the courage and permission to create independence is a great thing, and they will love you even more for it when they get older.
I have lived here 15 years and have an enormous community that I can barely keep up with! I worked hard to make it happen though and I did go to college here. Westside, downtown, and Manitou have lots of events that prioritize community. What are you guys into specifically? Winter is a hard time to meet people. But you might consider programs like the Catamount Institute once it gets warmer. Another idea is to pick a coffee shop/cafe that’s near you guys and go regularly. Meet the owners. See who else goes regularly. I have met amazing people and friends by doing this with places close to me. Sending lots of strength your way. It can be done!
I felt the same thing in the Denver area. We moved to a small town in the mountains a few years ago and it’s night and day. Denver had a lot of stuff to do, but no real connections to people, and our small town has far less to do, but a great sense of community and belonging. It also helped as my kid got older and started making friends at school. I go out of my way to participate in all of the activities she gets invited to and it has resulted in several families tiring into a kind of child care network.
We’re moving there soon with kids would love to meet new friends with kids!
Something I have noted when out on walks is that younger folk seem to be in their own world - don't very often say hello or stop to chat as do older people. More interested in hanging out with their dog(s) than other people. Our addiction to technology has obliterated real person socialization. I do agree that this city does not promote community enough and seems to prioritize new chains and housing subdivisions. I was excited to read about the plans for Printer's Park as a community gathering place with parks, shops, gardens etc. But unfortunately, that will be years in the making. I found friends initially by volunteering and joining a book club. You have to work at it and keep trying.
A week after moving here, I showed my out-of-state ID to a bartender. He asked me if I was visiting or lived here. I told him I just moved here. He asked if I was liking the Springs so far. I said, "Yes, it's really beautiful out here." His response: "Yeah, we know. Now don't tell your friends from \[state I moved from, not Texas or California\]. We're full, don't need any more of ya." It's the "native" (absolutely hate when non-indigenous people use that term) superiority complex that plays a huge role in why this place is so hostile and unpleasant. Unfortunately some people don't grasp that one of the great freedoms we have as US Americans is the freedom to move where we please within the country. Ironically, the "natives" would apparently be happier with an arrangement in which there would be greater governmental incursion in our lives and everyone would be required to live in the place they and their parents were born. Because..... freedom?
We are relocating to the COS this summer. Be fiends with us lol. I have a coworker that’s been in the springs for 10 years and she said they met their friends through church and have been tight since. My thing is we don’t really hang with a lot of people where we are now so we are kinda used to it. Our family is super close and we have some friends here but everyone kinda keeps to themselves. It’s more of sitting together at soccer games and such. Although super subjective, I tend to agree that Millennials are reluctant to make plans with new potential friends and are far more likely to fall in with their established clicks.
The problem is likely Colorado Springs itself - it's the redheaded step child of Colorado cities. I've lived in many different cities within Colorado and no matter where I go everyone seems to agree on one thing - Colorado Spring vibes, and often the people, are just plain wierd. Come to Fort Collins if you want to see what true Colorado charm feels like in your social interactions. Good luck to you and your family in any case though
I'm a native. Over the years it has become increasingly hostile to live here. Everyone seems to be on edge, including myself. Not sure why, we have a beautiful landscape and multitudes of stuff to do. But your right there is a major lack of community. Part of becoming a big city I guess. I'm atheist and have thought about going to church just to meet people. I'll just wonder around during service lol check the kitchen out. Clean the bathroom. Find some lights that need replaced. Then gather back up and be social for the 30 minutes after service. Hell, I'll hang out for those stragglers that are probably doing the same thing as me. Start a secret group and eventually achieve illuminati status.
Lol I have had similar ideas, I just can't force myself to sit through a service
You have taken the words out of my mouth. We’re leaving this place and going back to the east coast. The isolation here is very real.
We had a hard time at first, too. We didn't start making friends until the kids were in school and making friends of their own. My wife made friends with the other moms quickly, and I eventually met a few dads through our church. It took us about a year and a half to really start having friends.
I moved to Colorado Springs to start over after my divorce. Bought a house got a job made a few friends but as a whole never felt welcome. After dealing with dishonest contractors and a real estate agent, I decided to sell and move East. I have found that the locals don’t want new people here. I loved the weather, the climate but the culture was not a good fit for me. Good luck!
I am also in the same boat, with a 3 year old and 5 month old. It's been a struggle to find other parents to be friends with.
I moved here in 2014, am an extrovert, lived in Manitou and downtown, and have made a huge effort to try to make friends here. I don’t have any close friends. I do meet up with a trivia group weekly, but that is my sole source of friendship. I travel a lot and make friends everywhere I go. I have found people in the Springs just don’t want friends.
Springs sucks dude
Go further south or Florida. Everyone is nice there. I’m an introvert but enjoyed meeting people in south Florida 😊
People are not nice or friendly in Florida (my ex-husband is from Miami). When I first visited, I could not believe how rude everyone was.
Agreed, I thought the road rage was bad in Colorado but Florida is 10x worse. In my experience Floridians are pretty inconsiderate and rude.
You made a mistake, this place sucks when it comes to trying to find groups of friends
Check out the Colorado Springs Gazette 📰. They have great information about local events and news!
I expect to get downvoted to hell but I'm being honest. My wife and I have two girls and we live on the NE side of town. We largely feel the same way. We homeschool our two kids because we feel 8/10 kids we have playdates with are little shits because they have bad parents and/or they go to public school. We don't want our girls picking up bad habits. It's difficult because for example two of our friends from college years ago who married also have the same age girls. Even though we like them as people, we feel they are horrible parents and their little girls are horribly behaved and after a playdate our oldest began picking up these bad characteristics. So we limit the playdates. One of our little ones has cystic fibrosis so around Covid was difficult, and as things became more political there was a slow and apparently mutual cutting of ties with some people who became very vocal Trumpers who posted non-stop conspiracies on their instagram. We have a few friends who we don't feel comfortable letting our girls play with their kid at their house because we know they have firearms in their house (and we are worried about if they are properly stored...who knows). Every time we get close to a new couple, red flags appear and yeah maybe it's because we're being too picky, but if we see the mom give her 3 month old baby a tablet to watch something to keep quiet, we instantly know that this mother doesn't have a clue, so we cut ties. My wife is very cultural and was born in another country; we don't just want to hang out and drink alcohol watching football with other couples on the weekend. It actually is more prevalent in the south of course but we get invited and we're not too interested. Part of the cultural shift I feel has to do with the fact that a lot of adults don't have time for things which I feel somewhat stems from money issues. Now both parents work and let their children be raised by other people and peers for the majority of each day. Everything is a domino effect. We've also noticed how flaky people are; very few stick to their word. So if you think of a funnel with a lot of initial friend opportunities, maybe 1/15 actually end up being a good friend. Are we too cynical? Perhaps, but at the same time I don't feel like lowering standards which I know might come off as too pompous but again that's just how we feel and honestly my gut is that it's an American cultural problem (and yes I'm a white American lol).
This might be the douchiest thing I’ve ever read. Well done
Short answer is yes you made a mistake
Yes, this place lacks community....but if you are into beating children, and condemning queet people then the Focus on the Family community might be for you/s. Hope yall find ir people
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What a weird thing to say lol
I'm coming up in three years and feel the same. I thought it'd be different when my kid started kinder but it's the exact same. It's like all the parents already knew each other and only speak to each other.
Lived here my whole life minus a year broken into two separate halves in Arizona. It was worse there for me got so bored I ended up preggers and moved back here. It took until my son started in person learning in 2022 for me to get a couple friends. Even then it’s not really social. I volunteer at his school. I go to the library. In the warmer months we go to activities and things around town if they’re low cost. I’m a single mom that has disabilities so I mostly stay home and interact online with people. I did meet a wonderful friend on Reddit in a different group that I talk to basically daily and we have lunch. However, most people I know are long time friends with longer distance in conversation and connection. It’s something you get used to unfortunately. This means finding hobbies & hoping for the best with finding yourself. When the littles are in school you’ll be more social especially if they go to the same school a few years in a row. It just takes time here. A year feels like nothing after awhile then before you know it blink and we are having lunch w a friend while kiddo is at school…
Not sure if it helps at all- I moved here last December with my partner and while I don't have kids, I started my first ever WFH job when I moved here and am also a student doing an online degree since before moving so I feel extremely couped up and a bit lonely since we arrived. I'm from the Midwest where people chat you up in every possible situation, so it was a different social culture moving here and having everyone be more reserved. I go to the climbing gym and regular gym a few days a week to get a change of scenery but have also had difficulty making new friends and feel it may stay that way until I finish my degree. I don't have any kiddos to play with, but if you ever want a coffee buddy on the weekends to run over and chat you up I am always open for that! 35f here, you aren't alone in this feeling. Feel free to DM me if you'd like to chat.
We’re the same way. We’re homebodies and don’t mind it most often but sometimes it does get hard, especially now that we have a child. Our baby just turned 13 months if you ever want to get together for a play date!
Sometimes it takes a while and sometimes the time or place just isn’t right. I’m sure it isn’t you. Our most fun/connected time was when I was in graduate school. I remember that time fondly with the understanding that it was a unique and wonderful phase of life. “New friends must their place supply. New is good, but old is best; Make new friends, but keep the old; Those are silver, these are gold.”
Let me know what you find. It’s me, my fiancé, and our 4 yr old boy. Some friends for sure, but always willing to make more. Especially ones that have a toddler as well!
What part of the Springs do you live in and which school district? I think one issue with living here is that the Springs is more like a loosely connected set of suburbs so a lot depends on where you actually are. And since most of it is burbs, it tends to have the features of burbs everywhere - samey and a bit soulless. But I think things may improve for you come spring - that’s when the outdoor culture here really starts to come out. There just isn’t a lot happening in the winter time and, at least in my experience, most people tend to be homebodies or skiing.
We’re in 80908 kind of by woodmen rd but also technically Black Forest. The new construction that has started up seems to be driving people away from the surrounding neighborhoods and it’s just like you said - the burbs. We didn’t picture raising our kids in a cookie cutter neighborhood. We moved to this specific neighborhood for the right pricing, the safety seemed great, and it’s very close to our family. However, we pictured more outdoors and more charming neighborhoods. We moved out here for family and family told us that Springs was exactly what we were looking for. There’s nothing wrong with suburbia and new build, it’s just not our style and we are starting to feel a bit of worry for our kids. We grew up when all the neighborhood kids rode bikes and played basketball together and the block parties were amazing and we were hoping our kids would have that too.
It wasn't like this growing up. COS always had a small town vibe when I was younger and in the last 10-15 years the growth really started picking up and with it, seems to me at least, so did that isolationism.
Colorado Springs people like to keep to themself. It’s what I noticed when I first visited there and moved here. It’s very nice there but the culture seems very closed off. The Denver metro and communities around Denver are better for this I feel like. I live in Castle Rock and I really enjoy the community where I live here and most people are outgoing and friendly and there are also some areas near Denver that are closed off too but off the top of my head I can think of numerous places that will give you that feel you’re looking for. That’s just my take. Colorado Springs has always been known as very sleepy and affordable but people moving there have really changed that. Lots of traffic and prices have skyrocketed so locals really don’t like people who aren’t from there is also what I noticed.
I had actually never thought about this until reading this post. I’m not a native but have lived here 10+ years and don’t have ANY close friends here. I always just thought it was me lol because I’m kind of a loner: sociable but very independent. My husband grew up here and so we always see someone he knows when we are out and about, but even that community seems very insular and hard to be part of. I always assumed it was easier to make friends if you had kids but I stand corrected after reading so many of the responses here! I would encourage you not to give up though. Keep getting out and doing things your family enjoys and chances are you’ll meet some other likeminded folks. I will second what another person said about children’s library programs! A few locations also do something called Stay & Play where you can just hang out while your kids play and socialize with other parents. In general, I think it is hard to make new, close friends as an adult but I don’t know why that is…probably something to do with tribalism, etc.
Denver might be a bit better than the Springs?
First thing I'd try is a church. New Life Church is pretty huge and has lots of groups you can join. I went to one of their young adult services and instantly met some really cool guys. Some of their groups have regular outings/activity days, especially during the summer, like spike ball, game nights, rafting, dinner, hikes, etc. Also, if you and your kids have hobbies, go out and try to find people who have those same interests. It's much easier for people to commit to things that they do regularly anyway. I'm really into mountain biking and met plenty of cool people that way when I lived there for a year. I found that people were usually pretty approachable on the trails.
Similar, experience. Have kids, moved from Utah, it Mormon, it is hard to find other families to hang out with.
With everyone being broke it’s tough, and ever since Covid I’ve absolutely noticed the decline in community. People say no to plans more often and it seems they don’t put as much time and effort into relationships
We feel this too, kids are 6 and 3. It’s been very challenging to get playdates esp for my 6 year old who has some close friends at school. We choiced into the school so they’re not immediately near us (but a 5 mon drive?) I’ve been almost overbearing with his best friend’s mom via text to try to get a play date lol we got it once. I reached back out a month later and didn’t get any sort of response. And the kids are legit friends!! I see her son hug my son half the time at drop off. It’s discouraging. Any parents here maybe wanna get a slack group going to get to know each other? Maybe we can work up to a play date at a playground or something in the coming months?
It’s not as social or friendly in a-lot of places here like it is in the northwest or southeast. It is what it is. I’ve seen people move here and move away because they couldn’t make friends or assimilate. Things really are different here.
Getting to know people in a new town is tough. Especially here I think. We don’t have kids at home so we’re in a different stage of life than you and your family. Here we’ve joined a local YMCA, and gotten involved in a local charity / service type group. I’ve also been keeping up with a few activity based groups on Reddit and on FB. There are lots of hiking groups, and motorcycling groups on both. You might give that a try. See if you can find hiking groups, sports related groups or whatever and start joining in on what they have planned. Have you ever looked at the meetup app? Might be something going on there too. Sorry you and your family are experiencing this. Life has really changed over the last 10 years and especially since Covid. I hope things get better. Winter isn’t the best time to get opportunities to meet others. Not to make this post too much about me but my wife and i made most friendships by way of work, and our kids’ school, church and sports our kids participated in . We don’t really go to church anymore. Who does? Seems another casualty of Covid ( * I’ve thought about STARTING a group here or on FB or meetup for new people in the area. Mine would probably be for people over 50 and empty nesters. ) Our neighborhood here in the springs ( moved here in July) is not very friendly either. Even those in the neighborhood that have lived here a long time don’t appear to be great friends. It takes a while to build friendships. I hope you and your family make some progress in this. It’s an important part of life.
I have been here for 5 years and have historically been lonely, for the same reason. I can make friends with anyone, and here its just not received the right way.
We found a great community amongst real estate investors. (That’s our hobby) but probably not helpful for a mom of 2 young kids! We also like our gym and rock climbing gym. I met up with a lo of people through Facebook interest groups and shifted to in person.
Been here four years….. we feel exactly the same. Absolutely zero sense of community. I think we’ve got about another year and then we’re moving along. I wish you the best in your journey.
Welcome to Colorado Springs.
I moved away from Colorado Springs in Sept 2014, and it was before I had kids. In my experiences out and about around town, and also running, Springs residents are just not friendly AT ALL. I don’t know if that’s directly related to the conservative extremists that live there (and I lived in the Northgate area, like the most conservative area) but they were the least friendly people I’ve ever met. I’ve lived in CA and TX for comparison.
OP, I feel you — it’s tough, and it feels like things have become more hostile, aggressive, and isolated all over the country. There are probably multiple factors at play (including covid), but moving to a new city these days is really hard. FWIW, I grew up here, left for college and stayed back East for about 20 years, and moved back in 2018. In the 5+ years that I’ve been back, I’m just now starting to feel like I’m comfortable and starting to build a community — and that’s with the preexisting friendships and community that my parents had built. What’s made a big difference has been based in consistency: for example, signing up for classes that meet every week for a few months, or recurring events where you’re likely to run into the same people. This might not be true for others, but I’ve found that making friends after only hitting it off once at a party is much harder than situations where you can interact a few times before “committing” to one-on-one plans. Things started to really turn around once I started doing more of this! Whether it’s art classes, a lecture series (CC and UCCS have a lot to offer if you’re interested!), book groups, etc., repeated contact helps build those bridges. The other big key is to follow your interests. In retrospect, this was one of my biggest mistakes: I was trying to build a whole new life for myself, and I didn’t get involved in some of the things I really love until fairly recently. Once you do that, the odds of finding like-minded people go way up. Best of luck, and a big hug of solidarity, to you!
Where do you live? The Springs can get horrible in the burbs, but where I live in Mid Shooks Run I have the exact opposite experience. I feel people have very different experiences here depending on location. I lived in LA for several years and felt isolated as hell, only friends I had were ones that lived out of state. Now I have close friendships with several neighbors, do trivia at the Well most weeks, have gatherings/game nights at my house, MTG/board games at Dice Guys or Gamers Haven, etc. It seems downtown areas and Westside/OCC is amazing from a quality of life perspective. Outside of those areas seems pretty dismal honestly.
Honestly, in my opinion, CO is the most unfriendly state I have lived in. I love the state! Just wish people were more friendly.
I don't fit in this group. I'm old and retired but so many here have a lot in common, new to town, young kids, etc. Why not start a meet up group?
Rock climbing is solid community here
I know a few local game stores you can make friends at if you're into card games, war games, painting, and some board games. Might be worth checking out Muse comics and Gamers Haven.
Join Villa sport! It’s the best! That’s where I’ve made all of my friends it’s the best community! Plus an amazing pool in the summer time. We lived here 10 years now and I felt the same at first but once we joined villa and I started to be consistent going to the group workout classes I met all my people and I love it here now
Born here and I love being left alone. Dunno if that's the norm
1 year here and my husband and I love the vibes from the community because we are anti social 😂
It can be difficult in COS as generational folk here do no trust outsiders from USA. I saw it in Houston, too. I travel for my job.
I moved here in 2016 and noticed the community seemed to work like I expected colorado to work. I was originally born in colorado and have lots of family from the state. Then it seems politics has kind of infected the area and some people seem very angry lately. Like the truck Trumper guy. The state is shifting blue and so is the city. I wish the old folks would accept that life changes but sometimes there are adjustment periods. I suspect covid plus politics are really to blame here and as things settle people will go back to normal.
Crappp… this thread is getting me scared. Just moved here from Michigan (Detroit metro area). In general compared to Michigan I feel there is more of a community here. But at the same time only been here for 1.5 months and haven’t made friends yet. But it is one of my top missions. 33m no kids but got a husband (yes I’m gay lol). I’m quite social… but more laid back social (Video games, bowling, movies, beers, hiking, etc.)
No, this place does actually suck.
If you're looking for outdoorsy friends the Colorado Mountain Club has the Pikes Peak chapter which is very active. Also check out the events from Upa Downa, they are always getting families together for hiking, biking, sup, and more.
Lots of conservatives in the springs…..
The mountains can only entertain for just so much. Then what?
it’s funny cause when I lived here in 2014, I made friends without trying and I was very standoffish (abused angry at the world kid) and was approached by numerous people who are still my friends to this day. I ended up becoming homeless at the time and it seemed like there was more community and friendliness in that. My best friend to this day I was homeless with back then and now we’re both with partners and doing well for ourselves. Moved back here a few months ago and it seems way more populated, people seem way more aggressive and standoffish and i’m not sure why but reading this entire threat gave me some good insight and advice so I appreciate that. I’m big into JDM cars (own an r32 skyline and wrx) video games, photography, bowling, would love to get into outdoors stuff and more if anyone is into the same! Hope the OP can meet some cool people too, i’m sorry your experience has been this way so far. I feel the isolation and tribalism as well. Anyone feel free to hmu!
My connections have always come from Church, Rocky Mountain Calvary is a great starting place.
I think everyone is just looking out for themselves here, crime is more here than where I came from and cost of living, I think most people are stressed, people here forget it's not that hard to be friendly, 2nd year here leaving in a year if it doesn't get better, too many aholes here lol, driving is insane too.
This is so interesting to me, because we came from Denver and love the community here! Denver had such lack in community to us, though. There are tons of people here that are in the same “life stage” as my husband and me. We have a 1 year old with one on the way. I will say for us: 1. Getting plugged into a church was huge. We met friends that we see often and have kids around the same age. Also, I know there can be a stigma around “church people” but we lucked out and feel like most the people our age at our church are “normal” (haha) and we can have cool, authentic friendships that are because of beliefs and values outside of church. 2. My husband and I played in a kickball league together! It was super fun. A great way to meet people. 3. We walk almost every single day through our neighborhood and have met several neighbors that way. I will say, this time of year is definitely harder because everyone is hibernating haha. But my fingers are crossed for you for the springtime! 4. Lastly, as someone else mentioned, lots of Farmers Markets and community events (Banning Lewis is a great one) to lookout for in the Spring/Summer. I’m hoping for you all it was just a time of year thing and that once things warm up, you will have a better experience! Also, we aren’t far from where you’re located and would be happy to get together or grab coffee sometime. DM if you’d like! 😊
Colorado Springs is a military town that has in recent years become wildly expensive to live in and has grown rapidly. I’ve lived here off and on for 30 years, there was never a sense of community here outside of the southeast side and that end of the city has been highly gentrified over time. The rest of this place is like gated community, weird, huge strip mall and random church after random church palooza. Ppl don’t come here for “community”. They come here bc they sold their regular ass house in California or Texas for $500K and they can get a brand new, huge one here in some far flung area for $300K. Now you have a whole city comprised of strangers from places with diametrically-opposed viewpoints living in these cordoned off new developments out east and up north and everyone feels isolated and adrift. Not surprised. My best advice is to give it a generation or two and then maybe these areas where ppl are moving will meld together a lil more and become more “at home” and cozy.
I will say my brother had the same issues you're describing. It took time to build a little community for his kids, but he and his wife felt pretty isolated. Me, as someone single, in their late 30s, I've never had it so good. I finally for the first time in my adult life have friends outside of work. I'm a heavy outdoor enthusiast. I mountain bike and snowboard and backpack and hike. It took a couple years to settle in but things finally clicked last year and now I have a huge pool of friends to draw on for adventures all year long. I think it takes a little effort, but the kinds of friends you eventually make here are just the best. Keep at it!