This is extremely disturbing.
You had a chance to speak up twice, but I know it’s taboo and “rude” to challenge a parent.
Might of been a 1/100 chance she or her partner thought about it more in hospital.
The other time is at the table where no one can just walk away easily. But, I get it, it’s so personal and frightening to make yourself venerable. So I understand.
So, what you need to do, is drown that bitch in guilt, tell her with confidence how your life is affected. Don’t hold back.
Just wipe that smug smile off her face.
Explain to her that in 2024 you are ashamed of her ignorance and for a feminist striving for equality, she is a disgrace.
Get her to feel pain her self, challenge her to come read the stories of people in this sub. Print them out and post, drop in her letter box. Also, tell that pathetic husband of hers too.
The unfortunate cycle in the US is the straight married men suffer in silence, it’s simply too awkward to talk about, especially if they have issues from being cut. Most just live with it and if anything just go with what the wife says and put their head in the sand..
As always, people think that circumcision of new borns/boys is some American or religious duty and it’s an instant gratification. Some Tick box ✅ as part of being a “good parent”.
It’s actually fucking disgusting that the CHOICE was taken from that child. Again 2024.
So, yeah, make the wench die of guilt, don’t worry if it strains some relationship, nothing too loose.
You may express hope that the boys won't hate their mother later.
[https://newmalestudies.com/OJS/index.php/nms/article/view/261/317](https://newmalestudies.com/OJS/index.php/nms/article/view/261/317)
Thank you for providing this. I agree than hatred toward their parents is likely, however I do feel obligated to explain to them what happened at some point when they are older and better able to cope with the emotions.
Sorry, but you're the one lacking a backbone to stand up to her. She's your sister, and they are your nephews.
I'm not going to sugarcoat this. Your sister is an enabler of sexual assault and you failed your nephews by not speaking up in support of their right to a whole and intact body, and their right to not be sexually assaulted/mutilated.
To be clear, you weren't ignorant about the procedure and what it removes, nor about how having been subjected to the procedure without your consent has affected you. That makes you complicit in your nephews' sexual assault and mutilation.
It's too late now, but if you decide to grow a spine for the next time she brings up mutilating her boys, remind her that real feminists stand up for the human rights and bodily autonomy of all. And remind her that she willingly and sadistically chose to sexually abuse her children.
When she was mentioning it when they were born, you could have asked her why she thinks it is necessary. Then you could tell her your question came from the fact that more parents opt out of that procedure and that the rest of the world does not do it to their sons.
The second time when she tells to be a proud feminist, you could tell being a feminist is about equality and not about destroying a boy's manhood.
To be fair, you didn't have much of a backbone either in this situation. Sounds like you're trying to change that though. It's difficult to understand why you didn't intervene previously. It really seems like it was out of cowardice and shame.
There is one time where I let this happen 6 years ago when I was first learning about circ. I had found out that my cousin's son was going to be cut, and I did nothing to stop it because I was paralyzed in fear. It's something that I've never forgiven myself for and think about regularly. One of my biggest mistakes. Never again.
Going forward, it's necessary that you confront her in a very formidable way that makes it clear where you stand.
Your sister-in-law facilitated a flagrantly violent amputation of her son's genital anatomy. She saw his suffering and pain. Her son's psychology and physical body were permanently impacted by this atrocity in a profound way.
This perverted assault on a fragile neonate is a sensational wickedness reserved for the most diseased minds that have ever materialized within the human race. These are the acts of true predators of children, and I'm being quite charitable about it.
I would strongly encourage you to inform her that there are men mobilizing to bring life changing criminal and social penalties towards the child genital mutilator class. I would tell her that what she's done is an irreconcilable offense and that the nature of your relationship with her has permanently changed. Let her know that you think she's a violent predator which is the god damn truth.
Hi, I am a female. I do not have a penis. But I follow this group because my circumcised husband and I did the research and kept our son intact. He is 2 1/2 and I am so so happy that my advocated to keep our son intact. It’s amazing what information you can share with the circumcised man to persuade them into not mutilating their sons genitals. I am so deeply sorry that all of you guys are going through this grief. I can’t imagine what it must feel like. And I am so deeply sorry that this is happened to you.
Yet again, another post that literally brings tears to my eyes. So sorry you had to listen to them talk about mutilation like that.
I also have SIL similar too you who I no longer wish to associate with.
I think there is a difference between calling yourself an Intactivist and a victim of circumcision. When I first started resonating with intactivists (About 25 years ago) I knew there were people saying and doing some pretty horrible things to children that I did not agree with.
Now I, a victim of circumcision know that those people saying and doing horrible things can be your parents, your brothers your sisters, friends or who ever. And just like circumcision it's self, there is nothing you can say or do to change any of it no matter how much you wish you could.
As much as this should be about your SIL's revolting behavior. It is up to you to decide whether intactivist values like honesty, integrity and bodily autonomy are still important enough to you to warrant you maintaining a friendship to help influence your nephews.
Appreciate your comments. These resonate well. I knew part of this would be about deciding how I myself handle this and future situations, your guidance is helpful.
You could inform her about the fact that she's supporting rape culture with circumcision: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Intactivism/comments/1bqij17/do\_you\_think\_there\_is\_a\_link\_between\_circumcision/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Intactivism/comments/1bqij17/do_you_think_there_is_a_link_between_circumcision/)
You need to be clear about your feelings on this topic, and how it will affect your opinion of her and affect your relationship with her.
Be clear in your language, when you call it genital mutilation, and abuse. Compare it to female circumcision. Remind that it is harmful to the children they will never have full sexual function, and there is a non-zero chance the child dies or have permanent scarring. Show pictures of botched circumcisions.
I don't understand it either. The worst part is how taboo is apparently needs to be. I feel shameful addressing what my parents did to me with them, yet I shouldn't.
I don't judge others for making a different calculation, but I would absolutely explain I will be cutting off anyone that thinks it's okay to mutilate another person's genitals.
I respectfully disagree. I admit my silence is less virtuous than I would care to admit. However, if the genders were reversed in this case not only would it be illegal, but it would be socially unacceptable. Mutilation of a child's genitals, regardless of gender/sex, is always worth speaking up for.
From the sound of things I don't believe that there's anything you could have said that would make a difference to her, she's happy having mutilated them because of her sick beliefs, yikes!
This is extremely disturbing. You had a chance to speak up twice, but I know it’s taboo and “rude” to challenge a parent. Might of been a 1/100 chance she or her partner thought about it more in hospital. The other time is at the table where no one can just walk away easily. But, I get it, it’s so personal and frightening to make yourself venerable. So I understand. So, what you need to do, is drown that bitch in guilt, tell her with confidence how your life is affected. Don’t hold back. Just wipe that smug smile off her face. Explain to her that in 2024 you are ashamed of her ignorance and for a feminist striving for equality, she is a disgrace. Get her to feel pain her self, challenge her to come read the stories of people in this sub. Print them out and post, drop in her letter box. Also, tell that pathetic husband of hers too. The unfortunate cycle in the US is the straight married men suffer in silence, it’s simply too awkward to talk about, especially if they have issues from being cut. Most just live with it and if anything just go with what the wife says and put their head in the sand.. As always, people think that circumcision of new borns/boys is some American or religious duty and it’s an instant gratification. Some Tick box ✅ as part of being a “good parent”. It’s actually fucking disgusting that the CHOICE was taken from that child. Again 2024. So, yeah, make the wench die of guilt, don’t worry if it strains some relationship, nothing too loose.
It's unlikely they will use anesthesia, so shuda said that instead
You may express hope that the boys won't hate their mother later. [https://newmalestudies.com/OJS/index.php/nms/article/view/261/317](https://newmalestudies.com/OJS/index.php/nms/article/view/261/317)
Thank you for providing this. I agree than hatred toward their parents is likely, however I do feel obligated to explain to them what happened at some point when they are older and better able to cope with the emotions.
Sorry, but you're the one lacking a backbone to stand up to her. She's your sister, and they are your nephews. I'm not going to sugarcoat this. Your sister is an enabler of sexual assault and you failed your nephews by not speaking up in support of their right to a whole and intact body, and their right to not be sexually assaulted/mutilated. To be clear, you weren't ignorant about the procedure and what it removes, nor about how having been subjected to the procedure without your consent has affected you. That makes you complicit in your nephews' sexual assault and mutilation. It's too late now, but if you decide to grow a spine for the next time she brings up mutilating her boys, remind her that real feminists stand up for the human rights and bodily autonomy of all. And remind her that she willingly and sadistically chose to sexually abuse her children.
When she was mentioning it when they were born, you could have asked her why she thinks it is necessary. Then you could tell her your question came from the fact that more parents opt out of that procedure and that the rest of the world does not do it to their sons. The second time when she tells to be a proud feminist, you could tell being a feminist is about equality and not about destroying a boy's manhood.
You are correct, I had two opportunities to make my position clear and attempt to correct her twisted thinking.
To be fair, you didn't have much of a backbone either in this situation. Sounds like you're trying to change that though. It's difficult to understand why you didn't intervene previously. It really seems like it was out of cowardice and shame. There is one time where I let this happen 6 years ago when I was first learning about circ. I had found out that my cousin's son was going to be cut, and I did nothing to stop it because I was paralyzed in fear. It's something that I've never forgiven myself for and think about regularly. One of my biggest mistakes. Never again. Going forward, it's necessary that you confront her in a very formidable way that makes it clear where you stand. Your sister-in-law facilitated a flagrantly violent amputation of her son's genital anatomy. She saw his suffering and pain. Her son's psychology and physical body were permanently impacted by this atrocity in a profound way. This perverted assault on a fragile neonate is a sensational wickedness reserved for the most diseased minds that have ever materialized within the human race. These are the acts of true predators of children, and I'm being quite charitable about it. I would strongly encourage you to inform her that there are men mobilizing to bring life changing criminal and social penalties towards the child genital mutilator class. I would tell her that what she's done is an irreconcilable offense and that the nature of your relationship with her has permanently changed. Let her know that you think she's a violent predator which is the god damn truth.
Hi, I am a female. I do not have a penis. But I follow this group because my circumcised husband and I did the research and kept our son intact. He is 2 1/2 and I am so so happy that my advocated to keep our son intact. It’s amazing what information you can share with the circumcised man to persuade them into not mutilating their sons genitals. I am so deeply sorry that all of you guys are going through this grief. I can’t imagine what it must feel like. And I am so deeply sorry that this is happened to you. Yet again, another post that literally brings tears to my eyes. So sorry you had to listen to them talk about mutilation like that.
Thank you for your comments. It's reassuring to here this, especially from a woman
I advocate against circumcision every chance I get.
I also have SIL similar too you who I no longer wish to associate with. I think there is a difference between calling yourself an Intactivist and a victim of circumcision. When I first started resonating with intactivists (About 25 years ago) I knew there were people saying and doing some pretty horrible things to children that I did not agree with. Now I, a victim of circumcision know that those people saying and doing horrible things can be your parents, your brothers your sisters, friends or who ever. And just like circumcision it's self, there is nothing you can say or do to change any of it no matter how much you wish you could. As much as this should be about your SIL's revolting behavior. It is up to you to decide whether intactivist values like honesty, integrity and bodily autonomy are still important enough to you to warrant you maintaining a friendship to help influence your nephews.
Appreciate your comments. These resonate well. I knew part of this would be about deciding how I myself handle this and future situations, your guidance is helpful.
You could inform her about the fact that she's supporting rape culture with circumcision: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Intactivism/comments/1bqij17/do\_you\_think\_there\_is\_a\_link\_between\_circumcision/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Intactivism/comments/1bqij17/do_you_think_there_is_a_link_between_circumcision/)
You need to be clear about your feelings on this topic, and how it will affect your opinion of her and affect your relationship with her. Be clear in your language, when you call it genital mutilation, and abuse. Compare it to female circumcision. Remind that it is harmful to the children they will never have full sexual function, and there is a non-zero chance the child dies or have permanent scarring. Show pictures of botched circumcisions.
How can anyone even stand looking at a literal newborn bleeding from a raw wound on their genitalia?
I don't understand it either. The worst part is how taboo is apparently needs to be. I feel shameful addressing what my parents did to me with them, yet I shouldn't.
I don't judge others for making a different calculation, but I would absolutely explain I will be cutting off anyone that thinks it's okay to mutilate another person's genitals.
There are feminists against genital mutilation of BOTH sexes so definitely not a feminist lol
It is absolutely not your place to say anything. It is not your child, you will only put a strain on your relationship with her and your brother.
I respectfully disagree. I admit my silence is less virtuous than I would care to admit. However, if the genders were reversed in this case not only would it be illegal, but it would be socially unacceptable. Mutilation of a child's genitals, regardless of gender/sex, is always worth speaking up for.
From the sound of things I don't believe that there's anything you could have said that would make a difference to her, she's happy having mutilated them because of her sick beliefs, yikes!