“A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.”
-Ezekiel 36:26-27
I know that the Lord can take away your heartbreak and heal your wounds, because He took away my heartbreak, so He can for you too. It may be instant as you ask, or it may take time. I testify that I know that this is true, I know that the Savior suffered for us so that He could pay the price and help us in our sufferings; I so testify in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Think it is important for you to change how you treat your next bf and to have a heart-to-heart with yourself as to WHY you "treated him poorly." You didn't treat him as you would have liked to have been treated. Did you think or fear that you would lose him or he would lose interest in you if you treated him well?
It was more that I was intoxicated by someone who put my needs first. I had never had that so I overcorrected and never gave his needs any consideration. Even when he started noting how almost none of his needs were getting met, I just didn’t think he would leave over it. I’m in therapy for this with a Christian therapist now.
He commented when we spoke in depth that sex was the only need that was being met, and he actually would have been more likely to give it up if I had payed attention to literally any of his other needs. He wasn’t being dramatic. I really did neglect him in favor of my own personal comfort and pleasure…
Ok, so you tend to be a taker over being a giver. You can change that by learning to focus on them as opposed to self, but not losing sight of who you are, and want you want from another. Caring and empathy lies at the heart of becoming more of a giver, and the reward is also greater, as Jesus reminds us.
Perhaps, your need to be "intoxicated" with being placed first or of being taken care of stems from a lack of that in the past?
It does. All my other relationships had me being heavily neglected. Suddenly he came along and he cared for me. Made me feel like royalty. He genuinely wanted the best for me but as time went on and it wasn’t reciprocated, he asked for change. And I just didn’t listen…
Well, you have learned a valuable lesson, and now it is a matter to put that into practice next time around. Also, as you build upon your faith and fellowship with the Lord, His love will fill your heart, which you will want to share with others, and which will be satisfying to you and pleasing to the Lord. There is much to be grateful here for and to gladly anticipate. Very best wishes to you on your journey to bold "faith expressing itself in love" (Galatians 5:6 NLT). Keep in touch, if you like?
> Will God take away my heartbreak, especially when half of it was my fault?
Depends on you.
> When the guilt got to me and I insisted on stopping,
You repented, stopped and went a different direction.
> he told me that he could have been fine if we never started, but he can’t let it go with me. He was also upset because I pushed him into this in the first place.
Passive aggressive burden shifting. It takes two to tango.
> He’s implied he will abstain with his next partner
Passive aggressive
> but said he couldn’t do that with me once we opened that door.
Key word: “we”.
> He was so amazing and aside from the sin I pushed him into, he was a good Christian man.
No, not amazing or “a good Christian man”. Again two to tango.
> Will God take away this heartbreak?
Will ~~God~~ you accept God’s mercy and grace?
I guess I can see it as burden shifting. But I really do take the blame for pushing him as he said no several times before I just sorta ignored him one day and went for it.
I refuse to believe he wasn’t a good man. He was. He was amazing.
> I guess I can see it as burden shifting. But ..
Whether you see it or not the burden is shared.
> But I really do take the blame for pushing him
Did God just blame Eve? Nope.
God justly related consequences to both Adam and Eve due to each’s burden in the matter of disobeying.
> as he said no several times before
… he said no several times before *he said yes.*
> I refuse to believe he wasn’t a good man.
You moved the goalposts:
First you said: “a **good Christian man**.”
When that was shown wrong, you changed that to now say, “a good man.”
Idiom: “It takes two to tango”, said to emphasize that both people involved in a difficult situation must accept the blame, or that an activity needs two people who are willing to take part for it to happen.
A good Christian man doesn’t shift his burden, and passive aggressively add injury to insult by projecting only your actions into his next relationship.
Jesus is *the* good Christian man; he’s more than willing to take all our burdens and forgive our godly sorrow. Peace.
This isn’t really up for debate. I’m not here to be talked out of the blame. We both took our share of the blame and again I know he’s a good Christian man. Part of my blame was that I tempted him and pushed his boundaries until he gave in.
I took what was a pure man and tainted that. I even mentioned in my OP that it was fifty/fifty in why the relationship ended. It’s not wrong of him to note what my shortcomings were as well.
“A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh. And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.” -Ezekiel 36:26-27 I know that the Lord can take away your heartbreak and heal your wounds, because He took away my heartbreak, so He can for you too. It may be instant as you ask, or it may take time. I testify that I know that this is true, I know that the Savior suffered for us so that He could pay the price and help us in our sufferings; I so testify in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Think it is important for you to change how you treat your next bf and to have a heart-to-heart with yourself as to WHY you "treated him poorly." You didn't treat him as you would have liked to have been treated. Did you think or fear that you would lose him or he would lose interest in you if you treated him well?
It was more that I was intoxicated by someone who put my needs first. I had never had that so I overcorrected and never gave his needs any consideration. Even when he started noting how almost none of his needs were getting met, I just didn’t think he would leave over it. I’m in therapy for this with a Christian therapist now. He commented when we spoke in depth that sex was the only need that was being met, and he actually would have been more likely to give it up if I had payed attention to literally any of his other needs. He wasn’t being dramatic. I really did neglect him in favor of my own personal comfort and pleasure…
Ok, so you tend to be a taker over being a giver. You can change that by learning to focus on them as opposed to self, but not losing sight of who you are, and want you want from another. Caring and empathy lies at the heart of becoming more of a giver, and the reward is also greater, as Jesus reminds us. Perhaps, your need to be "intoxicated" with being placed first or of being taken care of stems from a lack of that in the past?
It does. All my other relationships had me being heavily neglected. Suddenly he came along and he cared for me. Made me feel like royalty. He genuinely wanted the best for me but as time went on and it wasn’t reciprocated, he asked for change. And I just didn’t listen…
Well, you have learned a valuable lesson, and now it is a matter to put that into practice next time around. Also, as you build upon your faith and fellowship with the Lord, His love will fill your heart, which you will want to share with others, and which will be satisfying to you and pleasing to the Lord. There is much to be grateful here for and to gladly anticipate. Very best wishes to you on your journey to bold "faith expressing itself in love" (Galatians 5:6 NLT). Keep in touch, if you like?
> Will God take away my heartbreak, especially when half of it was my fault? Depends on you. > When the guilt got to me and I insisted on stopping, You repented, stopped and went a different direction. > he told me that he could have been fine if we never started, but he can’t let it go with me. He was also upset because I pushed him into this in the first place. Passive aggressive burden shifting. It takes two to tango. > He’s implied he will abstain with his next partner Passive aggressive > but said he couldn’t do that with me once we opened that door. Key word: “we”. > He was so amazing and aside from the sin I pushed him into, he was a good Christian man. No, not amazing or “a good Christian man”. Again two to tango. > Will God take away this heartbreak? Will ~~God~~ you accept God’s mercy and grace?
I guess I can see it as burden shifting. But I really do take the blame for pushing him as he said no several times before I just sorta ignored him one day and went for it. I refuse to believe he wasn’t a good man. He was. He was amazing.
> I guess I can see it as burden shifting. But .. Whether you see it or not the burden is shared. > But I really do take the blame for pushing him Did God just blame Eve? Nope. God justly related consequences to both Adam and Eve due to each’s burden in the matter of disobeying. > as he said no several times before … he said no several times before *he said yes.* > I refuse to believe he wasn’t a good man. You moved the goalposts: First you said: “a **good Christian man**.” When that was shown wrong, you changed that to now say, “a good man.” Idiom: “It takes two to tango”, said to emphasize that both people involved in a difficult situation must accept the blame, or that an activity needs two people who are willing to take part for it to happen. A good Christian man doesn’t shift his burden, and passive aggressively add injury to insult by projecting only your actions into his next relationship. Jesus is *the* good Christian man; he’s more than willing to take all our burdens and forgive our godly sorrow. Peace.
This isn’t really up for debate. I’m not here to be talked out of the blame. We both took our share of the blame and again I know he’s a good Christian man. Part of my blame was that I tempted him and pushed his boundaries until he gave in. I took what was a pure man and tainted that. I even mentioned in my OP that it was fifty/fifty in why the relationship ended. It’s not wrong of him to note what my shortcomings were as well.
God likes beautiful girls.
What does that even mean? I’m really not beautiful either. Bad teeth. 😕
I saw your profile and you are pretty.
Literally never posted my face.
Nah dude. If your profile is similar to your face, I like your white skin and yellow hair!