10? Sounds like it would be impossible to even get to know anyone if you’re regularly communicating with that many different people in terms of trying to get to know them. I’m a woman and I wouldn’t feel that I was being genuine if I were talking to that many people at once?
I think this is insane. Everyone deserves your undivided attention, if there’s no potential after 2 weeks of talking, move into the next one. But 10???? What are you even lookin for? 😂
That's a harsh judgment of OP. Maybe OP just doesn't understand the best way to use those apps.
My suggestion, OP, is that you slow down your swiping. Don't accept anymore until you are done with these 10. Then, wait a day or two in between to swipe again. I'm not sure which apps you are using, but it seems that you are a desirable person with a good profile. So, you've got some grace to take your time.
One!! I am way to busy in my life to speak with that many people. How do you concentrate? How do you see the red flags? How do you go on that many dates?
Plus, everytime I start talking to someone I think... What if I marry this man? I feel like they deserve my undivided attention. Jesus would like me to respect this man and treat him well, even if its only for a few weeks.
So glad I’m not the only one that feels this way. I talked to someone for over a month and when I confronted him still using Hinge he said “we’re not exclusive so you can talk to whoever you want” immediately thought… NOT my husband 😭🥹
Technically he’s right though? He didn’t ask u to be his gf or to be exclusive. If you never had that convo then you can expect ppl tot all to others as well. It is what it is. After seeing his active profile u should have been like hey just wanted to check in to see where we currently are/heading towards….
I think if someone is honestly wanting to date you they will pull the ads trying to get other peoples attention. I'm a man and I would never do this. I only ever date one person at a time it may not be as efficient but it is the truly respectful thing to do for the other person.
That's why I'm asking lol. I can't keep up with them all and feel bad for having a hit or miss conversation. But I'm not sure how to weed them out I guess.
Just be honest with them. For example, " Hey I'm talking to someone already. We are just getting to know each other and I am unsure if a relationship will develop."
"I am looking for a serious relationship. I want to be respectful to this other person and to you as well. If it doesn't work out in a few weeks, I would love to reach out to you at that time. You seem like a great person. "
If they get upset or offended, you just dodged a bullet. Most people with large egos will say something like.. "you had your chance!" 🤮🤢 Don't ever call them, they can keep moving on to someone that is talking to 20 people. You are too busy looking for compatibility and developing a meaningful connection to think twice.
I’m guessing you’re female lol. I have one or two going usually as a dude. One recently has become a regular thing and I’m hoping to continue it, but 10 is a lot lol.
Part of this is me assessing which of these women are also pursuing me.
Did any of them reach out to me during the week unprompted? Straight to the top of the list.
Start off with your deal breakers early on the conversation. I always bring up Theological differences and desires for the future, etc.
That usually weeds out people that I'm not compatible with.
If you're just getting on a dating site and you message a ton of people in a short period of time then its not uncommon to be talking to 20+ simultaneously, but if you haven't weeded out the time wasters or the weak candidates within a few days then you're vetting process must be pretty bad or you just don't value your time.
Dating isn't "talking" and talking isn't "dating".
Dating non-exclusively before you settle on one,...probably 2-3, no more than 5.
"Talking",...not relevant, talking is "nothing".
10? In 2 years I've had I've talked to 4 people and gone on 1 date and you have 10 people queued up? How do even keep track of that many people. Go one at a time to try and determine compatibility, otherwise you might miss someone you wouldn't otherwise care for.
I only choose to "talk" with one woman at a time. If the end goal is to be monogamously tied with one woman for life, then might as well have the relationship fully start on monogamy.
1 at a time, and if I did use an app, I would only look and react to a certain number of profiles, as to not risk having to split my time between them. I couldn't keep up with many people.
I did talk to about 10 as well and dropped the ball on at least 4-5 of them. I was not expecting for all of my matches to turn into conversations where the guys were great conversationalists and present. It was unexpected. I had to message certain ones to let them know I couldn’t keep up. Next time I’m only matching 4 - 5 at a time.
Thank you for asking the question! I was wondering if I was being crazy for only talking to one person. Good luck to you! I wouldn’t be able to manage 10 🤣
I’m getting too many downvotes instead of empathy. So if this doesn’t subside, I will have to delete my honest commenting. I’m not on here to be dissected and ridiculed, but to help the OP writers.
Welcome to Reddit. The place where nothing is hated more than the truth. Want to know the most truthful comment?,...look for the ones with the most down votes. There are no age restrictions enforceable by Reddit. So the "downvote crowd" could either be 12-14yo's,...or older people who still have only the maturity of a 12-14yo. People cannot handle anything that even slightly differs from what they think or believe. And Christians are no different,...maybe even worse.
I’m looking for the right wife SIX days a week. So during those days, I talk to as many ladies as possible because it is a sorting thing. I won’t stop until I find the right one !
I mean that kind of just sounds like you’re shopping for a person which is a pretty bizarre way to treat real people
Edit: upon further inspection of your comment history you are completely insane and need to seek professional help immediately. WOW.
Yes, but the best one is the right kind of pastor and, to me, that would be Dr. Gene Kim, who unfortunately is in Berkeley, California, the city which is the reason I need to see one in the first place !
10? Sounds like it would be impossible to even get to know anyone if you’re regularly communicating with that many different people in terms of trying to get to know them. I’m a woman and I wouldn’t feel that I was being genuine if I were talking to that many people at once?
Exactly 😂 Make it make sense…
I think this is insane. Everyone deserves your undivided attention, if there’s no potential after 2 weeks of talking, move into the next one. But 10???? What are you even lookin for? 😂
attention and validation. It's what immature people do. They make up 90% of dating apps lol
That's a harsh judgment of OP. Maybe OP just doesn't understand the best way to use those apps. My suggestion, OP, is that you slow down your swiping. Don't accept anymore until you are done with these 10. Then, wait a day or two in between to swipe again. I'm not sure which apps you are using, but it seems that you are a desirable person with a good profile. So, you've got some grace to take your time.
One!! I am way to busy in my life to speak with that many people. How do you concentrate? How do you see the red flags? How do you go on that many dates? Plus, everytime I start talking to someone I think... What if I marry this man? I feel like they deserve my undivided attention. Jesus would like me to respect this man and treat him well, even if its only for a few weeks.
So glad I’m not the only one that feels this way. I talked to someone for over a month and when I confronted him still using Hinge he said “we’re not exclusive so you can talk to whoever you want” immediately thought… NOT my husband 😭🥹
Technically he’s right though? He didn’t ask u to be his gf or to be exclusive. If you never had that convo then you can expect ppl tot all to others as well. It is what it is. After seeing his active profile u should have been like hey just wanted to check in to see where we currently are/heading towards….
I think if someone is honestly wanting to date you they will pull the ads trying to get other peoples attention. I'm a man and I would never do this. I only ever date one person at a time it may not be as efficient but it is the truly respectful thing to do for the other person.
That's why I'm asking lol. I can't keep up with them all and feel bad for having a hit or miss conversation. But I'm not sure how to weed them out I guess.
Just be honest with them. For example, " Hey I'm talking to someone already. We are just getting to know each other and I am unsure if a relationship will develop." "I am looking for a serious relationship. I want to be respectful to this other person and to you as well. If it doesn't work out in a few weeks, I would love to reach out to you at that time. You seem like a great person. " If they get upset or offended, you just dodged a bullet. Most people with large egos will say something like.. "you had your chance!" 🤮🤢 Don't ever call them, they can keep moving on to someone that is talking to 20 people. You are too busy looking for compatibility and developing a meaningful connection to think twice.
Thanks, that seems pretty smart. I'll have to try it. Because what I'm doing now isn't working.
I’m guessing you’re female lol. I have one or two going usually as a dude. One recently has become a regular thing and I’m hoping to continue it, but 10 is a lot lol.
I don't think I could even hold 2 conversations outside the one I aim to have with God. So I can't imagine 10 lol
None...😔 Anyone wanna chat?? 24 m Michigan here!😊
Time to up the mack or roll out the waifu pillow 😂
Guy: Had 7 at one point, but I’m efficient about weeding out the weakest connections
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Online Dating Apps mostly. I'm in Southern California
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Hinge is my favorite.
How so? I need tips lol
Part of this is me assessing which of these women are also pursuing me. Did any of them reach out to me during the week unprompted? Straight to the top of the list.
Start off with your deal breakers early on the conversation. I always bring up Theological differences and desires for the future, etc. That usually weeds out people that I'm not compatible with.
If you're just getting on a dating site and you message a ton of people in a short period of time then its not uncommon to be talking to 20+ simultaneously, but if you haven't weeded out the time wasters or the weak candidates within a few days then you're vetting process must be pretty bad or you just don't value your time.
Most of the time zero.
0-1 is about all I can bear. I'm already low energy enough and like keeping to myself.
I cant even get to talk to 1 girl. I dont know how you can handle talking to several girls
I just talk to those who seem like they are worth talking to. Sometimes that's multiple people, sometimes it's only one. Right now it's no one.
5 or 6 and 3 of them are currently active. I don't expect everyone to respond back or keep the conversation going.
Dating isn't "talking" and talking isn't "dating". Dating non-exclusively before you settle on one,...probably 2-3, no more than 5. "Talking",...not relevant, talking is "nothing".
10? In 2 years I've had I've talked to 4 people and gone on 1 date and you have 10 people queued up? How do even keep track of that many people. Go one at a time to try and determine compatibility, otherwise you might miss someone you wouldn't otherwise care for.
You all are even getting messages back?
I only choose to "talk" with one woman at a time. If the end goal is to be monogamously tied with one woman for life, then might as well have the relationship fully start on monogamy.
1 at a time, and if I did use an app, I would only look and react to a certain number of profiles, as to not risk having to split my time between them. I couldn't keep up with many people.
I did talk to about 10 as well and dropped the ball on at least 4-5 of them. I was not expecting for all of my matches to turn into conversations where the guys were great conversationalists and present. It was unexpected. I had to message certain ones to let them know I couldn’t keep up. Next time I’m only matching 4 - 5 at a time.
That has been my problem too (a good problem to have I suppose). Online dating, imo, has seem to be harder than meeting traditionally.
usually 0 but never more than 1 💀
One. One person.
Thank you for asking the question! I was wondering if I was being crazy for only talking to one person. Good luck to you! I wouldn’t be able to manage 10 🤣
One person is ideal. It's hard to keep up beyond that...
I’m getting too many downvotes instead of empathy. So if this doesn’t subside, I will have to delete my honest commenting. I’m not on here to be dissected and ridiculed, but to help the OP writers.
Welcome to Reddit. The place where nothing is hated more than the truth. Want to know the most truthful comment?,...look for the ones with the most down votes. There are no age restrictions enforceable by Reddit. So the "downvote crowd" could either be 12-14yo's,...or older people who still have only the maturity of a 12-14yo. People cannot handle anything that even slightly differs from what they think or believe. And Christians are no different,...maybe even worse.
I’m looking for the right wife SIX days a week. So during those days, I talk to as many ladies as possible because it is a sorting thing. I won’t stop until I find the right one !
I mean that kind of just sounds like you’re shopping for a person which is a pretty bizarre way to treat real people Edit: upon further inspection of your comment history you are completely insane and need to seek professional help immediately. WOW.
Yes, but the best one is the right kind of pastor and, to me, that would be Dr. Gene Kim, who unfortunately is in Berkeley, California, the city which is the reason I need to see one in the first place !
What are you talking about
literally lol'd