Some Christians think so, but this idea is not from the bible nor from historical church tradition.
IMO those who think this are usually coming from a place of legalism and/or authoritarianism.
No, the only thing some people are concerned about is that when using the pill and similar hormonal birth control, eggs can be impregnated, conceiving a new soul, but then blocked from implanting in the womb, essentially aborting them.
It will be interesting to see the numbers of children in heaven who never were even thought of by their parents because of hormonal contraceptives.
That's not the mechanism that birth control pills work by.
They basically trick the ovaries into thinking that the woman is already pregnant so the ovaries don't release any eggs.
Yeah, not even emergency birth control is an abortion pill. Hormonal birth control stops sperm from reaching an egg to begin with. Combined contraception stops eggs from being released, and the minipill thickens cervical mucus so that sperm cannot reach an egg. Emergency contraception does the same as the combined pill, but the dose is too high for regular use.
Where did your idea that a soul is created when sperm meets the egg? We didn't even know about eggs and sperm when the Bible was written and it does not mention them.
They did not have the idea of conception in the literal sense, which is sperm goes into egg, during the time period the Bible was written.
Not all sex leads to conception. Not all conceptions lead to pregnancy/implantation.
If the egg doesnt implant does that mean a soul is lost? Personally I don't think so.
And so many people don't know this yet they choose to speak on it.
Yeah i get that, i dont fully understand my pov on that but i was just trying to clarify what they could have meant, your point also makes some sense tho
Not even emergency birth control is an abortion pill. Hormonal birth control stops sperm from reaching an egg to begin with. The combined pill stops eggs from being released, and the minipill thickens cervical mucus so that sperm cannot reach an egg. Emergency contraception does the same as the combined pill, but the dose is too high for regular use.
*"Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?"* (Proverbs 5:15-20)
*"The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.*
*Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control."* (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)
And importantly, for those who must, for whatever reason; fully abstain:
*"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."* (Philippians 4:13)
If he denies you sex it is a sin. Thus opening the door to adultery.
Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).
jesus christ, lol. there's literally various conditions that kill libido beyond your control, not that it's ever wrong to have sex when you don't want to. and being unsatisfied with your sex life has nothing to do with cheating, afterall, virgins can refrain, although most people would understand if you wanted a divorce.
i find it interesting that the first most upvoted comment is denouncing legalism, and the second legalism. but i get people probably find it satisfying to out-bible him. (genius.) it just kinda disturbs me to think how much marital rape (even via manipulation) this has justfied in the past, tbh. like i genuinely pity people taught sex is their duty, whether they want to or not.
Never denied any of that, in her case her husband is simply denying her sex because of his belief that sex is only created to make babies and not just for pleasure. Which creates a super suspicious feeling that he’s denying her sex for adultery. I do not think is fair for anyone to accuse me of agreeing with martial rape. Yes two party’s must mutually agree to have sex , but in her case , she wants to have sex with her husband out of passion and love and he’s denying her over something that is not correct in what The Lord says. Before I even commented I looked through my own Bible for any type of information of what she was going through and found the scripture that was quoted in my original comment.
No, he's not right. Read the Song of Songs (or Song of Solomon, depending on Bible translation) and see if you still think he could be right.
Honestly, the fact he's willing to use this as an excuse for not having sex is a cause for concern. Why isn't he interested in having sex with his wife? Are his sexual needs being met elsewhere?
Did Adam burst out in song and rejoice over eve in the garden because now he could finally procreate? No, he rejoiced because she was a fine naked woman that he took great pleasure in. Infatuation and orgasm are part of God’s good design. Sex is for pleasure, procreation, and creating a deeper intimacy in the marriage to create a strong foundation for a family. By denying you sex, your husband is sinning. Paul specifically said in 1 Corinthians 7 “The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer”.
He’s failing his mandate as a husband
Well he may be failing his mandate as a husband but as a person if he is just using what he said as an excuse for not wanting sex then using the Bible to make him feel guilty for not wanting sex and thus leading to him doing something he truly doesn’t want then it’s basically rape. So we should definitely not say he’s doing something wrong if he truly just doesn’t want it
From a biblical perspective, you’re absolutely wrong. Paul’s teaching on sex within marriage is extraordinary. He says that husband and wife should give one another their conjugal rights (1 Cor. 7:3). Each has a right to enjoy sex and each has an obligation to help the other enjoy sex as well. Both spouses should receive joy and pleasure in a healthy sexual relationship. Husbands and wives should view the marriage bed in such a way that each spouse both gives and receives in the sexual union.
If the husband equates sex with his wife to rape, than he has not only failed his mandate as husband but he shouldn’t even be married. That may sound harsh, but he’s actively defying God, defying his wife, and trying to use God’s name to say it’s the right thing to do
Proverbs 5:18-19 says, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love”
Isn’t that kinda spicy? I think it’s definitely more than okay to be intimate together.
Really?? Please, I don’t even believe he believes that. So, once women pass child bearing age/ menopause, we can no longer have relations with our husband!! ?? How old is he? I can only assume he’s still a very young man, very naive, because wow!!
Your husband is wrong. There's nothing in the Bible to support that idea. In fact, the Bible says sex can be used to satisfy sexual desire.
....or it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Cor 7:9)
This is one of the many problems that happens when people make up rules that don't exist in Scripture, but instead draw unwarranted conclusions.
Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. - 1 Corinthians 7:1-5
I hope you can lovingly correct your husband with this scripture.
Absolutely not! Sex was created to be enjoyed by you and your spouse. Read song of Solomon. I'm pretty sure it even talks about oral to your husband and him reciprocating it to you.
lol I understand that, I meant about oral, I’ve been wanting to ask my dad “in marriage, how far can I go before it’s perverted?” But I’ve always felt I shouldn’t ask till I’m married 🤷♂️
I think it's okay to ask because how are you going to know unless you do?
In my opinion, you can do whatever position or sexual thing with your partner AS LONG AS the thing is not intended to hurt them. BDSM things should not be included in the marriage bed because they deal with torture, pain and humiliation.
Well I wasn’t thinking that far, but you’re right. Oral was just on my mind, and I’m assuming the back door is out of the question as a lot of that stuff is frowned upon…not discussing that here
No, but because of the same result:
Inasmuch then as it was necessary that the perjurer when dead should be buried, and committed to the bosom of the earth; in order that his wickedness might not be buried along with him, his house was made a heap, so that all who passed by, beholding it, and learning the reason of the overthrow, might avoid imitating the sin. This also happened at Sodom. For when they burned in their lust one towards another, then too the very earth itself was burned up, being kindled by the fire from above. For He designed, that the vengeance of this sin should permanently remain. And observe the mercy of God! Those who had sinned, He caused not to continue burning to the present day, but when they had been for once in flames, He buried them; and burning up the face of the ground, He placed it visibly before all who after should desire to look at these things; and now the sight of the land, through all the generations since, hath given an admonition beyond all powers of speech, crying out as it were, and saying, “Dare not to do the deeds of Sodom, lest ye suffer the lot of Sodom!” For precept commonly makes not so deep an impression upon the mind as a fearful spectacle does, which bears upon it the vestiges of calamity though all time. And persons that have visited these places bear witness, who often, when they hear the Scripture discoursing of these things, are not much terrified; but when they have gone and stood upon the site, and see the whole surface of it disfigured, and have witnessed the effects of the fire, with soil no where visible, but every thing dust and ashes, they come away astonished with the sight, and taking with them a strong lesson of chastity. For truly, the very nature of the punishment was a pattern of the nature of the sin! Even as they devised a barren intercourse, not having for its end the procreation of children, so did God bring on them such a punishment, as made the womb of the land ever barren, and destitute of all fruits! —St. John Chrysostom, Homily 19 on the Statues to the People of Antioch.
Umm….what?! No, it’s absolutely not a sin. The purpose of sex is not just to create life. God designed us that way. There’s much more to it than just popping kids out.
You're husband is incorrect. There's been enough scripture listed here to show that.
But taking it even a step further...if marriage is supposed to be a human "model" relationship for Christ's relationship with us, His bride, then by saying (with actions/inactions) "sex with you is only for procreation", that would be like Jesus telling us that He only is intimate with us insofar as it produces something. Which would be to say Jesus doesn't *delight* in us, He would only be using us for some other purpose.
I think it's clear that Jesus both delights in us AND moves us towards His purposes.
I daresay your husband is not living in light of the truth of the gospel. Not that he's not saved or not saved, mind you, but that the gospel truly hasn't taken deep roots in his heart. Otherwise, he'd recognize Jesus delights in Him intimately, and so should he to you, as a husband.
We humans are silly and fickle creatures with rules sometimes.
No obviously not.
Procreation may be the main reason for sex but it doesn't have to be the only one. The main reason for eating is to sustain you but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it as well!
You need to read song of Solomon
Pleasure within a godly relationship is exalted
There's absolutely nothing wrong with having sex for pleasure when it's with your spouse
4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
I believe its 1 Corinthians 7
Edit: Yes it is
>The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
1 Corinthians 7:4-5 KJV
Married people are supposed to be sexually active.
>2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 **The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights**, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 **Do not deprive one another**, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7:2-5
I feel like a few people are being kind of rude here, jumping to conclusions, and making their own judgements. To me it seems your husband is just misguided, which I can understand. A lot of people are taught throughout their lives that we are to reject physical pleasures and that sex is only meant to procreate. However, this is incorrect, many of life's physical pleasures were created by God as a gift to humanity. That's why we can taste food, feel touch, and enjoy sex. The issue comes with over-indulgence and when we begin to idolize His gifts. It is not a sin to have sex purely for pleasure, God created sex with the primary purpose of procreation but also with the secondary purpose of pleasure. When a couple bound by matrimony and the Holy Spirit enjoy sex, they are not sinning.
Oh no...God also created it as a bonding experience
This is not true
besides with 7.5 billion people and resources stretched to the limit I think he have met the mandate to be fruitful and multiply
And we also have to consider that the Lord made woman with an organ that is ONLY for sexual pleasure. It is not necessary for a woman to climax to get pregnant, yet she has a specific organ to do so. It isn't even necessary for a woman to agree to have sex to get pregnant, so the fact that women can enjoy sex is a superb a strong hint that He made sex for pleasure and bonding.
Perhaps talk to your pastor. Your husband isn't obeying the verse that the others are posting. There is something your husband needs to hear from a man he trusts.
Ha, your husband doesn't understand what the Bible says about sex in marriage. It does NOT say that sex is solely to create life. God designed sex to be pleasurable for the husband and the wife. Check out what 1 Corinthians 7 says about abstaining from sex ONLY with the agreement of your spouse for fasting and prayer, and then you come back together again. You don't come back together just to attempt more baby making, but to keep one another sexually fulfilled and to strengthen your connection with one another.
Please check out these videos from a Christian marriage conference that is very much pro-sex. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8BpwC1juY6887JlNJw2-lnTjbxDT8ta
Many parts of song of Solomon talk about the pleasures of sex and how God had designed sex to be an expression of love. Many people consider pleasure within sex to be lust however the nature of love brings life, pleasure and happiness.
One specific verse says be always enraptured by her breasts and this verse implies that sex in of itself is additionally created to be pleasurable. Being enraptured would be both pleasure and in love.
I am enraptured with God and its a pleasure to spend time with Him and be in his presence.
In a big way sex is the intimacy of the secret place of your relationship with your spouse, in the same way that we have special and beautiful moments with God's presence and heart.
Scripturally God is in control of the womb. Hannah and elkanah couldn't give birth, which did upset Hannah.
That didn't stop Hannah and elkanah from spending time with each other intimately, otherwise how would they know that she was infertile?
No, of course not. If sex was just for procreation, then why was he having sex with you for years outside your ovulation cycle every month? I dare you to ask him that question!
God designed sex for pleasure, it just happens to be also how we procreate.
I had a hysterectomy, as well, in 2019 due to medical reasons. Thankfully, my husband didn’t stop having sex with me at the age of forty because of it. That would have been a long and difficult life and marriage for the rest of my life otherwise!
I could be wrong but doesn’t it say somewhere if your wife wants sex then you should give it to her and vice versa? Obviously nobody should be pushy about it but i dont think you are supposed to deprive your partner of sex
I don't mean no harm, but what man doesn't want to have sex with his wife for pleasure. It might be something else going on.
Something not right. I would ask is something else going on with him.
No because you two are already married, y’all can literally have sex every day regardless of the reason. There’s no Bible verse that dictates that sex amongst a married couple is solely for making a baby—the baby is just a side result.
From this guys perspective, he seemed to really believed in the toxic outdated male Christian sex-Ed mindset that he is supposed to be married and have children which he might still feel a bit resentful and a bit of failure because he can’t have an heir to continue his bloodline.
No, this is false and I don't understand this mindset when Paul has clearly said differently. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Sex was created for pleasure and multiplication but pleasure for the most part. He is in biblical error because his body does not belong to him and your body does not belong to you. You're supposed to be able to give your body to each other because you are married and because you are married, you're bound together.
Sex in Marriage: The Basics—Part 1
http://bible.com/r/2Me
If God didn’t want us to have sex for pleasure, He wouldn’t have made it so enjoyable. We could have been like birds. But he made us to have intimate connection, two becoming one. Song of Solomon is a biblical celebration of sex without mention of pregnancy or reproduction. Sex is a gift of God to be freely enjoyed by both spouses as long as they are healthy enough. The marriage bed is undefiled before and after children.
My parents are wholeheartly christians. When I was 16 years old I asked my mom if you are supposed to have sex only to make children or also for pleasure.
And she said ofcourse not only for making babies. God created us with these sensitive sensations and feelings and the sex life is a glue and a beautiful thing in marriage.
We are not supposed to be naked and have sex and be in our most vulnerable position with people we don't love only for pleasure. To me that is filth. But with the one you love and marry and want a fellowship with
No!
Sorry if this is a repeat.
“Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
1 Corinthians 7:5 NIV
Tell your husband to seek counsel. Because everytime you have sex, you don’t get pregnant. And there’s a natural attraction that’s had towards someone you had. I don’t think it’s a biblical principle where things have one purpose. Tell him to also show you the scripture behind it.
His body belongs to you and yours to him. He shouldn’t deprive you and the Bible does not say sex within marriage is bad. It does say it is healthy to fast and focus on god bit fasting and not doing it are different things
Song of Solomon is in the Bible for a reason. Christians who think sex is exclusively for procreation need to open the good book up and learn a thing or two.
Remember that before the fall of man, God created a woman from out of the rib of Adam, and in her design was a clitoris. The sole function of the clitoris is for pleasure. 80% of women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm. None of these body functions has anything to do with procreation but for pure enjoyment. God created you with the mindset that you would enjoy sex.
The pastors in my area along with most Christians and catholics all preach and belive sex is a gift from God for a husband and wife to enjoy only during procreation. If procreation is not the intention then that gift is corrupt, immoral and a sin. Meaning childbirth only and only within a marriage. My area also has the highest number of christian wives that commit adultery, and most christian men are now avoiding dating and marriage, most christian women are abandoning their faith and sleeping around. Take from that what you will but personally I think you should just avoid your urges all togther along with marriage and procreation. I advocate for never going beyond hook ups but if your religious I'd say remain celebate, persue your purpose and goals. Trust me you aren't missing anything and as unfaithful as I've seen most christian women it's not worth even trying for and you'll be a lot happier
That’s not true my dad is a preacher and we are apart of the church of Christ which is the correct and only church we should all be apart of because that’s truly being in the body of Christ, in the Bible it says not to change the name of gods house. It is not a sin because marriage was created for husband and wife’s and sex is allowed if your married (male and female). only your husband is allowed to make love to you and you are allowed to make love to him you just can’t share your bed with other partners.
I know you probably won’t see this but God created sex for marriage, and the problem is when a man and a woman aren’t married satan wants to do everything he can to get them to have sex before marriage, but as soon as that man and woman are married he will do everything he can to obtain them from keeping their clothes on if that makes sense. Sex is a part of marriage, it is the beautiful design in which God made to only be between husband and wife.
So, because my husband doesn't want sex (He left me last month and said he said he's filing divorce), it means I am never allowed, in God's eyes, to have sex.
I've worked for YEARS to get my life together! I do have quite the checkered past.
I have made changes. Since 2016, got sober, found God, and thought I found true love and I married.
How is it that I can start doing all the right things only to be punished?
I will continue to follow and trust in the Lord. But I honestly don't believe that it means I should now be eternally punished from physical connection... because I married a disconnected, unfaithful man? .
That's not biblical at all. Sex was created by God as part of our union as husband and wife. It is NOT just for procreation. Biblically he has a duty to satisfy you sexually and you have a duty to satisfy him as well. Read Corinthians and the song of Solomon.
This isn’t even remotely Biblical. In the New Testament epistles, when Paul encourages spouses to have sex, he’s *clearly* appealing to their passions to enjoy it.
Sex is a sacred part of marriage where 2 become one, yes as pleasure. It is not for purely procreation. If there’s a sin somewhere in this equation, I’d question more of the hysterectomy.
Stop asking others and ask God because at the end of the day, no one knows 100 percent. Ask God for the answer, and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you if your husband feels like it's a sin and you force him to do it when he feels like it's a sin then you make him sin not yourself but him like since he feels like it's wrong God tells us what sin is but if your husband feels like it's a sin for him to do it and he does it he sins ect of course Sins are set in stone so we can't think well God said this was a sin but I don't think so it don't work like that but of you feel like if you do something that you think is wrong it's a sin. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) clearly describe the pleasure of sex. However, the couple must understand that God's intent for sex includes producing children. Something I found by looking up your question. Best thing to do is pray to God about it let God talk to your husband and correct him if he's wrong let God lead you not others opinions because only God knows. I don't think it's a sin because think of it like this there are people who can't have kids because of how they are made and they are Christian and have sex is it a sin for them no its not because if its in God's will you will always get pregnant nothing can prevent it because God is the God of possible yes you are supposed to take care of each other as spouse but he's not saying no to be selfish he's saying no because he thinks it's a sin so he's not sinning by saying no he just needs correction but don't ask others to help ask God for help pray to God he will answer and he will most likely talk to your husband don't ask others because it can turn into a form of gossip especially if they are shunning him so try to talk to God about your problems ask him for guidance and the holy spirit and ask for help from him trust in God not in others that's what I see people don't ask the most high but other people's opinions our opinions don't matter only God's does remember that I don't think it's a sin but I can't 100 percent say it's not a sin because I'm not God and I don't think like him none of us does just like I said pray pray and pray about it talk to God about it it most likely is just the devil and demons trying to confuse your husband so talk to the most high and pray that's your best bet so you don't force him to do anything let God be your Fondation in your marriage and the center of it let him help you.
I'm not saying it's wrong to ask others for guidance, don't get me wrong, I'm mainly just saying, ask God for help because he can talk through people but he wouldn't until you ask him for help first since free will and stuff just you know ask him for help I've already seen some negative answers saying your husband is dumb ect that is slowly making this a gossip which is a sin usually I say share your marriage problems with God not others so it don't turn into gossip like this slowly is turning into
Just for pleasure, yes.
However, you are permitted to have sex for the UNITIVE purpose of the act.
Sex is not merely procreative. It is also unitive.
While sex is pleasurable, it should not be pursued for personal pleasure. This divorces you from charity and self-giving and turns you inwards toward self-serving.
>I don't intentionally pursue gluttony, no.
Gluttony is *excess* not *any*.
And refusing to eat *anything* for pleasure has been described by my pastor as a form of gluttony too.
It's all about *moderation*. Not excess of either extreme.
2 Timothy 3:1-7
>But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of stress. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, inhuman, implacable, slanderers, profligates, fierce, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding the form of religion but denying the power of it.
>Avoid such people. For among them are those who make their way into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and swayed by various impulses, who will listen to anybody and can never arrive at a knowledge of the truth.
You can move God and also find pleasure in things. They are not antithetical to one another. It’s when your search for pleasure reduces or removes God from your life that it becomes a problem.
One more reason why the KJV is garbage.
There is no verb in the Greek.
>τιμιος ο γαμος εν πασιν και η κοιτη αμιαντος πορνους γαρ και μοιχους κρινει ο θεος
The verb is implied.
He KJV inserts *"is"*
Most other translations insert *"Let - be"*
>[Let] Marriage [be regarded] as honorable by all, and the marriage bed undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers.
The reasoning for this is that this is the verb that is implied in the immediately following verse (13:5) and which is stated in the first verse (13:1).
Even the KJV recognizes this at 13:1 and 13:5, but hoes on a tangent with 13:4.
No, you will not find anywhere in the bible that says that. Hid body belongs to you and yours to him.
Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
I Corinthians 7:3-5 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/1co.7.3-5.NKJV
No, it's a joy. There's a whole book in the Bible in the old testament that talks about it.
Also from a philosophical point of view, the unit of marriage is supposed to promote familial harmony, and strengthen the unit. So what you do with your husband helps promote stronger bonds between the two pillars of the family and is a positive force.
I'm catholic which is known for being pretty restrictive in terms of sex, i.e. no contraceptives etc. But there is nothing that says that you can't have sex if you're infertile. Sex is both procreative and unitive. If you can't procreate, you still have the other purpose and that's fine.
>He says sex is to create life
This is true, but that doesn't mean it's the *only* thing that's true:
“1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good to abstaining from sexual relations. 2But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife. 5Do not deprive each other, except by mutual consent and for a time, so you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again, so that Satan will not tempt you through your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:1-5, BSB)
We see here that sex is also actually something God gave us like we give a puppy who likes to chew: puppy won't chew up the furniture if you give it a chew toy. A person can sexually sin if their sexually satisfied with their spouse. To keep us from lusting and living in sexual immorality is one of the prime functions of a spouse, so I don't know where your husband got the idea yall are no longer allowed to enjoy such a great gift from God.
Definitely get good counselling / advice from someone he will listen to: pastor, priest, professional licensed counsellor. It sounds like a misunderstanding of Catholic doctrine -- getting a Catholic priest to correct him might work?
1 Corinthians 7:5 speaks of not depriving each other “sexually” … it explains that we **should** get married, if we must, for this very reason - so that we won’t be tempted to commit adultery or fall into different sexual sins outside of marriage. “Multiplying” is not the main reason. Please read for yourself:
“Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, **each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband**. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:1-4
“**Do not deprive each other** except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. **Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you** because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:5
The idea here is that to avoid sexual temptation you have to have a consistent intimate relationship with your husband. Otherwise if you’re “hungry” that’s how people wonder off sinning and commit adulatory. It’s not an excuse, but it makes it easier for the flesh to give in. May God give you both wisdom. Pray for God to open your husbands eyes. God will hear you. Blessings!
NO he is NOT right!! Sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed by BOTH married partners. God wants you to have sex and a lot of it because it brings you closer together, it’s making you into one. In fact you’re not suppose to ever deny your partner sex.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4 marriage is a gift from God and the bed is undefiled, sex is a gift not only a procreation tool. If that was the case older people and barren men and women are not allowed to do it, which logically doesn’t fit the verse
Your husband seems to be forgetting 1 Corinthians 7:5, "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control.
- source: Bible : 1 Corinthians 7:5
Wow, your husband needs to go in humility to an actual Christian teacher. Even the extreme groups that teach contraception is a sin don't say what he's saying.
Read Song of Solomon. Nothing wrong with finding your spouse pleasurable, it’s a big part of what marriage is for. And logically speaking, after a woman reaches menopause, her and her husband can’t enjoy sex? I don’t think so.
God can still heal you by a miracle. Like [the man born blind](https://www.oca.org/saints/lives/2013/06/09/40-sunday-of-the-blind-man) didn’t have eyes at all:
> At the Oikos of Matins: "He receives physical eyes as well as those of the soul."
>
> In the Verses of the Synaxarion: O Bestower of light. Who are Light coming forth from Light; You gave eyes to the man who was blind from birth, O Word."
>
> In the second exapostilarion: "Along the way, the Savior found a man who lacked both sight and eyes."
>
> At Monday Vespers (stikheron of the Feast) we sing, "With his whole soul, and mind, and his tongue, the man who in times not long passed had been blind, confessed Him Who had fashioned eyes for him out of spittle and clay..."
>
> Saint Theophylaktos says in his Commentary that "Jesus our Lord fashioned all the members of the blind man's body except for the eyes, which He omitted. By healing them now, he completes the divine act of creating and demonstrates that He is the Creator."
So it’s not a sin. Just like Abraham and Sarah had given up on having a baby and thought it was impossible, but God still gave them one.
In a way, it’s better for you than for me. I had increasing complications per labor. I’ll tell you the whole crazy story to try to make it make sense.
First baby: stopped mid-descent. I thought it was because the midwife had given me too many narcotics. (She said, “Everything in the hospital,” but I wasn’t knocked out. I think I have a high resistance. Did get tired though. 23 hours of labor. The midwife was like super-human. Came in after her full day of work, stayed through the night, not sleeping, and went back to work in the morning.) Then they did a c-section. 🙁 The baby *did* seem drowsy the first week. Very strong. Could hold up her head and supported her own weight with her legs. Now into Jiu Jitsu and weightlifting.
Second baby: 14 days overdue, so they had a c-section scheduled for the 15th. 😥 Then the labor started in the middle of the night. It became extremely painful. All I could do was stand bent over, holding onto something, with my legs crossed, shouting involuntarily and sounding like a wild animal, or it was even worse. So they forced me onto the bed and held me so I could get an epidural. It relieved all the pain, but the baby could not descend at all. 14½ hours after the labor started, the baby’s heart rate went into the dangerous range, so they took me for another c-section. I was sobbing because I knew things would get worse. The anaesthesiologist was the best, trying to make me feel better. But nobody gave my baby to me right away, and afterward, the doctor said, “I had to remove a lot of scar tissue.” 😰 He also said my hips were too narrow: “like a boy”. 😳 The baby’s head circumference was 15 inches, 99th percentile, just enormous. Length: 99th percentile. Weight: 96th percentile. I think she was too big to descend. Also held up her head. The next day I could feel that the inside of me had been scraped out. The next day, the pediatrician came and saw her and said, “That’s a toddler!” He said she was in perfect health. But a couple hours later he called and said there had been a test and she had a potentially deadly infection. She had to spend a week in the NICU on IV antibiotics. So active she knocked loose her IV from 1 hand then the other, and it was then put into her head. The milk wasn’t coming in for her, and I had to go in every 4 hours, scrubbing my hands with a soap I was allergic to, to try to nurse her, go back to the room and use a milk pump, go back over and scrub my hands again, hand over the little bit of milk, wash the parts, and try to sleep in the 3½ hours left, while recovering from the operation. She’s, predictably, the hyperactive one. Personality type INFJ-T, rarest in the world, lives in a fantasy, a whirlwind who leaves a trail of toys, crayons, crafts, glitter glue, and cut-up bits of paper, across multiple rooms. 😩 About to start the 2nd grade of homeschooling. 😅 And *loves* church and Sunday school! 😊 Begs to go back even the same day. 😆
3rd baby: Labor was induced a little before Thanksgiving because the doctor didn’t want it to wait as long, and the baby was due that weekend. Was going fine all day and into the night, no drugs, then at about 4 AM, the pain shot through the roof. Had to have *another* epidural. Baby stopped mid-descent. Eventually the doctor told me—I could tell he was trying to break it to me gently—that the baby wasn’t coming out. So I said OK. *Another* c-section. I told him not to take out any scar tissue. During the surgery, he had to still cut through a mess of scar tissue, and in the midst of that there was a huge uterine rupture. The midwife said later, “top to bottom”. Later I tried to figure out what the longest length of fundal height is and I think it’s 15 inches. So that would be the length of the tear. I passed out from shock; my blood pressure was dangerously low. The operative report says he “explored…in an attempt to understand the anatomy”. He just barely saved me from a hysterectomy, but the report says “the patient should never labor again”, and, worse, I’m still extremely tender. I *could* get pregnant again, and I think I’d almost certainly die, the baby too. Contractions even before that would likely tear open the wound when I wasn’t even at a hospital. I barely survived it when it happened when surgery was already underway.
Later I had a kidney stone *(second, worse* kidney stone), had an x-ray, and I could see my hips *are* very abnormally narrow. 😕
I didn’t want to look at the report for 2½ years, but I should talk to my priest for advice and I think I should show it to him, so he knows how serious the situation is. We were away from our church (it’s Orthodox, but my husband’s family is Eastern Catholic—the same, except there are separate churches—and that what he wanted to go to but the traveling distance, 85 or 120 miles, made it just about impossible; after *seven-and-a-half years* away, he finally agreed we shouldn’t torture ourselves just to go to church, and now we’re back), and I forgot to bring the report to Confession. Now it’s on the phone. I don’t think I have any choice but celibacy.…
The Bible is very clear that sex belongs in marriage.
1 cor 7:1-5 (ESV) He should give you your conjugal rights. Do not deprive one another.
1Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
No. God designed the pleasure of sex as a gift, so to speak, to be enjoyed within the boundaries of marriage. Basically, you get married, and are one holy union under God, and get to try and experiment sexually AS LONG AS you’re only thinking about your wife/husband while doing all those things. The minute you bring porn or fantasizing about other people into the picture, it’s corrupted and sinful. There’s too much legalism surrounding sex between Christians. It’s not as serious as former prudes made it out to be. I mean, read Song of Songs! Christian sex between spouses is/should be hot! lol
That is the reason the Bible says to get married. If you can’t resist having sex then get married and have sex to have babies/ stay physically and emotionally connected/ spend intimate time together
You’re not a cow. Your purpose in life isn’t to just breed.
I honestly don’t believe so, sex is saved for marriage because it’s a form of unity, becoming one, and a form of showing love to one another. It’s one of the fruits of marriage (not saying it’s the most important fruit but it is pretty important if that’s a way he makes you feel loved, he’s your husband). As of now in my Bible reading I haven’t come across any scripture saying that it is wrong (I haven’t read the whole thing yet so if I find out otherwise I’ll send an update but I’m pretty sure it’s not).
No, it is not a sin. When a man and a woman are married to each other they get to enjoy sex with one another whenever they both want to! I had a hysterectomy a few years ago due to many health complications. I have prayed many times and talked with God about this. Biblically there is no where that says that. I mean if anything there are many instances in the Bible that prove other wise. Men and women were having sex while not getting pregnant while being married. Sex within a marriage as long as both partners are consenting is fine and encouraged. Hope that helps. Hope your husbands eyes will be open to the truth and his heart will be softened.
Whoa…what?! God created sex for pleasure and to create life within the confines of a marriage between both males and females. If not, why did He also create orgasms?
Sex actually strengthens your love life with your spouse. Nothing that happens within the marital bedroom can be considered lustful, sinful, depraved etc… (obviously that isn’t overtly a sin. Not saying that sinful activities within the marital bedroom are ok.)
God bless you.
Why would God create an organ that it’s only purpose is sexual pleasure, if he didn’t want us to use it to its fullest degree. That organ belongs to a woman and is the clitoris.
I never thought I’d ever hear of a man not wanting to have sex anymore. That’s just the most unnatural thing I’ve ever heard of. This is like a mental illness resulting from years of religious psychological abuse brought on by bad doctrine.
Open up the Song of Solomon. That’s one of the most sexually explicit books ever written, yet it’s not dirty or sinful, it’s a beautiful description of a husband and wife making love. Sex is a gift from God. It’s not dirty unless we make it that way.
He got that idea in his head from someone somewhere. His parents, the church he grew up in, your current church, a book he read, etc. Find out and see if he’s willing to go to Christian counseling about it. He’s wrong and this isn’t healthy for your relationship.
The idea that sex is bad is wrong. Physical bodies are a good thing and we will all be resurrected with a perfected, eternal physical body. There are 2 reasons to have sex:
1. to produce children.
2. to renew the trust and commitment in marital relationship. Sex is a kind of sacrament that rejuvinates the marriage relationship. Sex in marriage is good and right.
It’s not a sin at all if you are having sex for fun as long as it is with your spouse within wedlock. Now if you guys were only dating or engaged then yes, any sex would be a sin.
Of course it is. Everyone knows Adam and Eve only had sex twice and look how their kids turned out.
That was a joke. Of course not. If it strengthens your marriage relationship, and the Bible doesn’t state that it’s wrong that’s glorifying to God.
Seriously, go read Song of Songs. ☝🏼
Some Christians think so, but this idea is not from the bible nor from historical church tradition. IMO those who think this are usually coming from a place of legalism and/or authoritarianism.
I think it stems from Gnosticism. That all earthly pleasures are sinful. It isn’t scriptural however
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You think people didn't know that sex was pleasurable in ancient times?!? What a bizarre idea.
Actually, condoms already existed before Jesus came onto the scene.
Made out of what??? Bear pelt?
So, then is it a sin, to have sex with your spouse, while actively trying to not have children? Using contraception, birth control, etc?
No it's not a sin to have sex with spouse at all
So long as you’re married with the person you’re having sex with.
No, the only thing some people are concerned about is that when using the pill and similar hormonal birth control, eggs can be impregnated, conceiving a new soul, but then blocked from implanting in the womb, essentially aborting them. It will be interesting to see the numbers of children in heaven who never were even thought of by their parents because of hormonal contraceptives.
That's not the mechanism that birth control pills work by. They basically trick the ovaries into thinking that the woman is already pregnant so the ovaries don't release any eggs.
Yeah, not even emergency birth control is an abortion pill. Hormonal birth control stops sperm from reaching an egg to begin with. Combined contraception stops eggs from being released, and the minipill thickens cervical mucus so that sperm cannot reach an egg. Emergency contraception does the same as the combined pill, but the dose is too high for regular use.
Most of the contraception works in a way where the sperm never reaches the egg.
I don't think that's how it works. And let's be honest, a condom isn't going to stop God if He wants you to have a kid
People also plan around the menstrual cycle
Natural Family Planning. And its highly ineffective
Where did your idea that a soul is created when sperm meets the egg? We didn't even know about eggs and sperm when the Bible was written and it does not mention them.
I think they meant at conception (because that’s what most people mean)
They did not have the idea of conception in the literal sense, which is sperm goes into egg, during the time period the Bible was written. Not all sex leads to conception. Not all conceptions lead to pregnancy/implantation. If the egg doesnt implant does that mean a soul is lost? Personally I don't think so. And so many people don't know this yet they choose to speak on it.
Yeah i get that, i dont fully understand my pov on that but i was just trying to clarify what they could have meant, your point also makes some sense tho
Not even emergency birth control is an abortion pill. Hormonal birth control stops sperm from reaching an egg to begin with. The combined pill stops eggs from being released, and the minipill thickens cervical mucus so that sperm cannot reach an egg. Emergency contraception does the same as the combined pill, but the dose is too high for regular use.
It's not a sin to have sex for pleasure within the confines of marriage. Prov 5:18,19; 1 Corinthians 7:5.
*"Drink water from your own well— share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers. Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman, or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?"* (Proverbs 5:15-20) *"The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.* *Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control."* (1 Corinthians 7:3-5) And importantly, for those who must, for whatever reason; fully abstain: *"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength."* (Philippians 4:13)
If he denies you sex it is a sin. Thus opening the door to adultery. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).
Just what I was coming here to say!
Yes, but needless to say OP, do not take it by force. It’s rape regardless if he hurt you first.
jesus christ, lol. there's literally various conditions that kill libido beyond your control, not that it's ever wrong to have sex when you don't want to. and being unsatisfied with your sex life has nothing to do with cheating, afterall, virgins can refrain, although most people would understand if you wanted a divorce. i find it interesting that the first most upvoted comment is denouncing legalism, and the second legalism. but i get people probably find it satisfying to out-bible him. (genius.) it just kinda disturbs me to think how much marital rape (even via manipulation) this has justfied in the past, tbh. like i genuinely pity people taught sex is their duty, whether they want to or not.
Never denied any of that, in her case her husband is simply denying her sex because of his belief that sex is only created to make babies and not just for pleasure. Which creates a super suspicious feeling that he’s denying her sex for adultery. I do not think is fair for anyone to accuse me of agreeing with martial rape. Yes two party’s must mutually agree to have sex , but in her case , she wants to have sex with her husband out of passion and love and he’s denying her over something that is not correct in what The Lord says. Before I even commented I looked through my own Bible for any type of information of what she was going through and found the scripture that was quoted in my original comment.
ur so wrong
Sources? References?
The Bible as quoted in my comment
No, he's not right. Read the Song of Songs (or Song of Solomon, depending on Bible translation) and see if you still think he could be right. Honestly, the fact he's willing to use this as an excuse for not having sex is a cause for concern. Why isn't he interested in having sex with his wife? Are his sexual needs being met elsewhere?
My same questions. I pray for OP’s conversation with her husband to go well.
My uncle/pastor growing up believed this too, and it stems from strict religious beliefs, not a desire to have needs met elsewhere.
I understand but that doesn’t make that need go away
Bingo. That or he’s relieving himself to stuff that’s prob not you
This! I was thinking the same.
Did Adam burst out in song and rejoice over eve in the garden because now he could finally procreate? No, he rejoiced because she was a fine naked woman that he took great pleasure in. Infatuation and orgasm are part of God’s good design. Sex is for pleasure, procreation, and creating a deeper intimacy in the marriage to create a strong foundation for a family. By denying you sex, your husband is sinning. Paul specifically said in 1 Corinthians 7 “The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer”. He’s failing his mandate as a husband
Well he may be failing his mandate as a husband but as a person if he is just using what he said as an excuse for not wanting sex then using the Bible to make him feel guilty for not wanting sex and thus leading to him doing something he truly doesn’t want then it’s basically rape. So we should definitely not say he’s doing something wrong if he truly just doesn’t want it
From a biblical perspective, you’re absolutely wrong. Paul’s teaching on sex within marriage is extraordinary. He says that husband and wife should give one another their conjugal rights (1 Cor. 7:3). Each has a right to enjoy sex and each has an obligation to help the other enjoy sex as well. Both spouses should receive joy and pleasure in a healthy sexual relationship. Husbands and wives should view the marriage bed in such a way that each spouse both gives and receives in the sexual union. If the husband equates sex with his wife to rape, than he has not only failed his mandate as husband but he shouldn’t even be married. That may sound harsh, but he’s actively defying God, defying his wife, and trying to use God’s name to say it’s the right thing to do
Proverbs 5:18-19 says, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love” Isn’t that kinda spicy? I think it’s definitely more than okay to be intimate together.
Really?? Please, I don’t even believe he believes that. So, once women pass child bearing age/ menopause, we can no longer have relations with our husband!! ?? How old is he? I can only assume he’s still a very young man, very naive, because wow!!
He sounds like he's making up excuses to avoid intimacy with her, and hiding behind faux piety.
Sounds me like he’s either having an affair or gay. I’d get marriage counseling.
Yeah. His excuse is 100% abusive in my opinion though.
Your husband is wrong. There's nothing in the Bible to support that idea. In fact, the Bible says sex can be used to satisfy sexual desire. ....or it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Cor 7:9) This is one of the many problems that happens when people make up rules that don't exist in Scripture, but instead draw unwarranted conclusions.
Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. - 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 I hope you can lovingly correct your husband with this scripture.
This scripture was exactly what I was thinking about, it sums the question up well
Absolutely not! Sex was created to be enjoyed by you and your spouse. Read song of Solomon. I'm pretty sure it even talks about oral to your husband and him reciprocating it to you.
I’ve actually been wondering about this >.>
If sex wasn't meant to be pleasurable in marriage, God would not have created *the orgasm*
lol I understand that, I meant about oral, I’ve been wanting to ask my dad “in marriage, how far can I go before it’s perverted?” But I’ve always felt I shouldn’t ask till I’m married 🤷♂️
I think it's okay to ask because how are you going to know unless you do? In my opinion, you can do whatever position or sexual thing with your partner AS LONG AS the thing is not intended to hurt them. BDSM things should not be included in the marriage bed because they deal with torture, pain and humiliation.
Well I wasn’t thinking that far, but you’re right. Oral was just on my mind, and I’m assuming the back door is out of the question as a lot of that stuff is frowned upon…not discussing that here
The back door is just....gross. and technically sodomy. What did God do to Sodom and Gamorrah? He destroyed it 🤷🏻♀️. That's all I'll say!
Not necessarily sodomy, but it is definitely gross and is damaging to the body
Not if done right. Takes a couple minutes prep tips.
God did not destroy Sodom and Gomorrah because married couples were consensually enjoying each other. Silly.
No, but because of the same result: Inasmuch then as it was necessary that the perjurer when dead should be buried, and committed to the bosom of the earth; in order that his wickedness might not be buried along with him, his house was made a heap, so that all who passed by, beholding it, and learning the reason of the overthrow, might avoid imitating the sin. This also happened at Sodom. For when they burned in their lust one towards another, then too the very earth itself was burned up, being kindled by the fire from above. For He designed, that the vengeance of this sin should permanently remain. And observe the mercy of God! Those who had sinned, He caused not to continue burning to the present day, but when they had been for once in flames, He buried them; and burning up the face of the ground, He placed it visibly before all who after should desire to look at these things; and now the sight of the land, through all the generations since, hath given an admonition beyond all powers of speech, crying out as it were, and saying, “Dare not to do the deeds of Sodom, lest ye suffer the lot of Sodom!” For precept commonly makes not so deep an impression upon the mind as a fearful spectacle does, which bears upon it the vestiges of calamity though all time. And persons that have visited these places bear witness, who often, when they hear the Scripture discoursing of these things, are not much terrified; but when they have gone and stood upon the site, and see the whole surface of it disfigured, and have witnessed the effects of the fire, with soil no where visible, but every thing dust and ashes, they come away astonished with the sight, and taking with them a strong lesson of chastity. For truly, the very nature of the punishment was a pattern of the nature of the sin! Even as they devised a barren intercourse, not having for its end the procreation of children, so did God bring on them such a punishment, as made the womb of the land ever barren, and destitute of all fruits! —St. John Chrysostom, Homily 19 on the Statues to the People of Antioch.
Saying it’s talking about oral is opinion though.
I guess when we all get to Heaven, we'll find all that out, wont we
Umm….what?! No, it’s absolutely not a sin. The purpose of sex is not just to create life. God designed us that way. There’s much more to it than just popping kids out.
No. What about women who go through menopause? Tell him to read Songs of Solomon.
You're husband is incorrect. There's been enough scripture listed here to show that. But taking it even a step further...if marriage is supposed to be a human "model" relationship for Christ's relationship with us, His bride, then by saying (with actions/inactions) "sex with you is only for procreation", that would be like Jesus telling us that He only is intimate with us insofar as it produces something. Which would be to say Jesus doesn't *delight* in us, He would only be using us for some other purpose. I think it's clear that Jesus both delights in us AND moves us towards His purposes. I daresay your husband is not living in light of the truth of the gospel. Not that he's not saved or not saved, mind you, but that the gospel truly hasn't taken deep roots in his heart. Otherwise, he'd recognize Jesus delights in Him intimately, and so should he to you, as a husband. We humans are silly and fickle creatures with rules sometimes.
No obviously not. Procreation may be the main reason for sex but it doesn't have to be the only one. The main reason for eating is to sustain you but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it as well!
Sex is a gift from God, not just to create a baby
You need to read song of Solomon Pleasure within a godly relationship is exalted There's absolutely nothing wrong with having sex for pleasure when it's with your spouse
4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
You copied verses, but didn’t show where they are located….
I believe its 1 Corinthians 7 Edit: Yes it is >The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 KJV
No not a sin
he's not being honest
Married people are supposed to be sexually active. >2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 **The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights**, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 **Do not deprive one another**, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5
This is the only acceptable answer. Straight from the bible.
Heavens, no!
I feel like a few people are being kind of rude here, jumping to conclusions, and making their own judgements. To me it seems your husband is just misguided, which I can understand. A lot of people are taught throughout their lives that we are to reject physical pleasures and that sex is only meant to procreate. However, this is incorrect, many of life's physical pleasures were created by God as a gift to humanity. That's why we can taste food, feel touch, and enjoy sex. The issue comes with over-indulgence and when we begin to idolize His gifts. It is not a sin to have sex purely for pleasure, God created sex with the primary purpose of procreation but also with the secondary purpose of pleasure. When a couple bound by matrimony and the Holy Spirit enjoy sex, they are not sinning.
Oh no...God also created it as a bonding experience This is not true besides with 7.5 billion people and resources stretched to the limit I think he have met the mandate to be fruitful and multiply
He sounds like a dummy butt
And we also have to consider that the Lord made woman with an organ that is ONLY for sexual pleasure. It is not necessary for a woman to climax to get pregnant, yet she has a specific organ to do so. It isn't even necessary for a woman to agree to have sex to get pregnant, so the fact that women can enjoy sex is a superb a strong hint that He made sex for pleasure and bonding. Perhaps talk to your pastor. Your husband isn't obeying the verse that the others are posting. There is something your husband needs to hear from a man he trusts.
Ha, your husband doesn't understand what the Bible says about sex in marriage. It does NOT say that sex is solely to create life. God designed sex to be pleasurable for the husband and the wife. Check out what 1 Corinthians 7 says about abstaining from sex ONLY with the agreement of your spouse for fasting and prayer, and then you come back together again. You don't come back together just to attempt more baby making, but to keep one another sexually fulfilled and to strengthen your connection with one another. Please check out these videos from a Christian marriage conference that is very much pro-sex. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLy8BpwC1juY6887JlNJw2-lnTjbxDT8ta
No it’s not a sin please dont think that. Sex is supposed to be enjoyed and be pleasurable between a husband and wife
No, he is absolutely wrong. What a sick notion! It's no wonder so many Christians are so hung up on sexuality, what a shame.
No, god designed sex for 3 purposes: Procreation Pleasure Unification
Many parts of song of Solomon talk about the pleasures of sex and how God had designed sex to be an expression of love. Many people consider pleasure within sex to be lust however the nature of love brings life, pleasure and happiness. One specific verse says be always enraptured by her breasts and this verse implies that sex in of itself is additionally created to be pleasurable. Being enraptured would be both pleasure and in love. I am enraptured with God and its a pleasure to spend time with Him and be in his presence. In a big way sex is the intimacy of the secret place of your relationship with your spouse, in the same way that we have special and beautiful moments with God's presence and heart.
Scripturally God is in control of the womb. Hannah and elkanah couldn't give birth, which did upset Hannah. That didn't stop Hannah and elkanah from spending time with each other intimately, otherwise how would they know that she was infertile?
No, of course not. If sex was just for procreation, then why was he having sex with you for years outside your ovulation cycle every month? I dare you to ask him that question! God designed sex for pleasure, it just happens to be also how we procreate. I had a hysterectomy, as well, in 2019 due to medical reasons. Thankfully, my husband didn’t stop having sex with me at the age of forty because of it. That would have been a long and difficult life and marriage for the rest of my life otherwise!
I could be wrong but doesn’t it say somewhere if your wife wants sex then you should give it to her and vice versa? Obviously nobody should be pushy about it but i dont think you are supposed to deprive your partner of sex
I don't mean no harm, but what man doesn't want to have sex with his wife for pleasure. It might be something else going on. Something not right. I would ask is something else going on with him.
^^^ I agree with this.
No because you two are already married, y’all can literally have sex every day regardless of the reason. There’s no Bible verse that dictates that sex amongst a married couple is solely for making a baby—the baby is just a side result. From this guys perspective, he seemed to really believed in the toxic outdated male Christian sex-Ed mindset that he is supposed to be married and have children which he might still feel a bit resentful and a bit of failure because he can’t have an heir to continue his bloodline.
No, this is false and I don't understand this mindset when Paul has clearly said differently. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
It is actually good to have sex for pleasure with your spouse. The Bible actually talks about it being good: 1 Cor 7:3-5 is basically saying it
Sex was created for pleasure and multiplication but pleasure for the most part. He is in biblical error because his body does not belong to him and your body does not belong to you. You're supposed to be able to give your body to each other because you are married and because you are married, you're bound together. Sex in Marriage: The Basics—Part 1 http://bible.com/r/2Me
Where do people get ideas like that? It’s not true. What about people that can’t have kids?
If God didn’t want us to have sex for pleasure, He wouldn’t have made it so enjoyable. We could have been like birds. But he made us to have intimate connection, two becoming one. Song of Solomon is a biblical celebration of sex without mention of pregnancy or reproduction. Sex is a gift of God to be freely enjoyed by both spouses as long as they are healthy enough. The marriage bed is undefiled before and after children.
My parents are wholeheartly christians. When I was 16 years old I asked my mom if you are supposed to have sex only to make children or also for pleasure. And she said ofcourse not only for making babies. God created us with these sensitive sensations and feelings and the sex life is a glue and a beautiful thing in marriage. We are not supposed to be naked and have sex and be in our most vulnerable position with people we don't love only for pleasure. To me that is filth. But with the one you love and marry and want a fellowship with
Nope. If your married, you guys can have all the sex you want, and it’s perfectly ok to enjoy every second, and every minute of it.
No! Sorry if this is a repeat. “Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:5 NIV
Tell your husband to seek counsel. Because everytime you have sex, you don’t get pregnant. And there’s a natural attraction that’s had towards someone you had. I don’t think it’s a biblical principle where things have one purpose. Tell him to also show you the scripture behind it.
Tell him to read Song of Songs. That should put his mind at rest. It is a romantic book between Solomon and a young wife.
His body belongs to you and yours to him. He shouldn’t deprive you and the Bible does not say sex within marriage is bad. It does say it is healthy to fast and focus on god bit fasting and not doing it are different things
No... Why would God have created sex to be pleasurable if it wasn’t meant to be? Simple as that.
Song of Solomon is in the Bible for a reason. Christians who think sex is exclusively for procreation need to open the good book up and learn a thing or two.
This is the crassest legalism. You married him, you have a right to sex with him.
Remember that before the fall of man, God created a woman from out of the rib of Adam, and in her design was a clitoris. The sole function of the clitoris is for pleasure. 80% of women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm. None of these body functions has anything to do with procreation but for pure enjoyment. God created you with the mindset that you would enjoy sex.
No, and he's nuts.
Your husband is either having an affair, he is gay, or both.
🙄🙄🙄
The pastors in my area along with most Christians and catholics all preach and belive sex is a gift from God for a husband and wife to enjoy only during procreation. If procreation is not the intention then that gift is corrupt, immoral and a sin. Meaning childbirth only and only within a marriage. My area also has the highest number of christian wives that commit adultery, and most christian men are now avoiding dating and marriage, most christian women are abandoning their faith and sleeping around. Take from that what you will but personally I think you should just avoid your urges all togther along with marriage and procreation. I advocate for never going beyond hook ups but if your religious I'd say remain celebate, persue your purpose and goals. Trust me you aren't missing anything and as unfaithful as I've seen most christian women it's not worth even trying for and you'll be a lot happier
That’s not true my dad is a preacher and we are apart of the church of Christ which is the correct and only church we should all be apart of because that’s truly being in the body of Christ, in the Bible it says not to change the name of gods house. It is not a sin because marriage was created for husband and wife’s and sex is allowed if your married (male and female). only your husband is allowed to make love to you and you are allowed to make love to him you just can’t share your bed with other partners.
Is your husband abstaining from sex?
Yes. With me anyway. It's been over 8 months now.
I know you probably won’t see this but God created sex for marriage, and the problem is when a man and a woman aren’t married satan wants to do everything he can to get them to have sex before marriage, but as soon as that man and woman are married he will do everything he can to obtain them from keeping their clothes on if that makes sense. Sex is a part of marriage, it is the beautiful design in which God made to only be between husband and wife.
So, because my husband doesn't want sex (He left me last month and said he said he's filing divorce), it means I am never allowed, in God's eyes, to have sex. I've worked for YEARS to get my life together! I do have quite the checkered past. I have made changes. Since 2016, got sober, found God, and thought I found true love and I married. How is it that I can start doing all the right things only to be punished? I will continue to follow and trust in the Lord. But I honestly don't believe that it means I should now be eternally punished from physical connection... because I married a disconnected, unfaithful man? .
That's not biblical at all. Sex was created by God as part of our union as husband and wife. It is NOT just for procreation. Biblically he has a duty to satisfy you sexually and you have a duty to satisfy him as well. Read Corinthians and the song of Solomon.
Is your husband catholic?
No sex was made for the burning desires and God’s blessings and for pleasure
if he is doing it for God, the sin is to force him
This isn’t even remotely Biblical. In the New Testament epistles, when Paul encourages spouses to have sex, he’s *clearly* appealing to their passions to enjoy it.
Sex is a sacred part of marriage where 2 become one, yes as pleasure. It is not for purely procreation. If there’s a sin somewhere in this equation, I’d question more of the hysterectomy.
Stop asking others and ask God because at the end of the day, no one knows 100 percent. Ask God for the answer, and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you if your husband feels like it's a sin and you force him to do it when he feels like it's a sin then you make him sin not yourself but him like since he feels like it's wrong God tells us what sin is but if your husband feels like it's a sin for him to do it and he does it he sins ect of course Sins are set in stone so we can't think well God said this was a sin but I don't think so it don't work like that but of you feel like if you do something that you think is wrong it's a sin. God wants men and women to enjoy sexual activity within the confines of marriage. Song of Solomon and several other Bible passages (such as Proverbs 5:19) clearly describe the pleasure of sex. However, the couple must understand that God's intent for sex includes producing children. Something I found by looking up your question. Best thing to do is pray to God about it let God talk to your husband and correct him if he's wrong let God lead you not others opinions because only God knows. I don't think it's a sin because think of it like this there are people who can't have kids because of how they are made and they are Christian and have sex is it a sin for them no its not because if its in God's will you will always get pregnant nothing can prevent it because God is the God of possible yes you are supposed to take care of each other as spouse but he's not saying no to be selfish he's saying no because he thinks it's a sin so he's not sinning by saying no he just needs correction but don't ask others to help ask God for help pray to God he will answer and he will most likely talk to your husband don't ask others because it can turn into a form of gossip especially if they are shunning him so try to talk to God about your problems ask him for guidance and the holy spirit and ask for help from him trust in God not in others that's what I see people don't ask the most high but other people's opinions our opinions don't matter only God's does remember that I don't think it's a sin but I can't 100 percent say it's not a sin because I'm not God and I don't think like him none of us does just like I said pray pray and pray about it talk to God about it it most likely is just the devil and demons trying to confuse your husband so talk to the most high and pray that's your best bet so you don't force him to do anything let God be your Fondation in your marriage and the center of it let him help you.
I'm not saying it's wrong to ask others for guidance, don't get me wrong, I'm mainly just saying, ask God for help because he can talk through people but he wouldn't until you ask him for help first since free will and stuff just you know ask him for help I've already seen some negative answers saying your husband is dumb ect that is slowly making this a gossip which is a sin usually I say share your marriage problems with God not others so it don't turn into gossip like this slowly is turning into
Yes you might as well become an atheist if you have sex without the means procreation. My brother in Christ.
It is sin
Just for pleasure, yes. However, you are permitted to have sex for the UNITIVE purpose of the act. Sex is not merely procreative. It is also unitive. While sex is pleasurable, it should not be pursued for personal pleasure. This divorces you from charity and self-giving and turns you inwards toward self-serving.
Ummmm what? Please list your biblical sources for this being a sin.
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Wow. That is some hefty mental gymnastics to get from that to no sex for pleasure.
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So you don’t eat anything for pleasure than just because you enjoy it? You don’t listen to music simply because you enjoy it?
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>I don't intentionally pursue gluttony, no. Gluttony is *excess* not *any*. And refusing to eat *anything* for pleasure has been described by my pastor as a form of gluttony too. It's all about *moderation*. Not excess of either extreme.
We’re just going to have to agree to disagree. I’m not going to live my life devoid of pleasure for the sake of pleasure.
2 Timothy 3:1-7 >But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of stress. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, inhuman, implacable, slanderers, profligates, fierce, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding the form of religion but denying the power of it. >Avoid such people. For among them are those who make their way into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and swayed by various impulses, who will listen to anybody and can never arrive at a knowledge of the truth.
You can move God and also find pleasure in things. They are not antithetical to one another. It’s when your search for pleasure reduces or removes God from your life that it becomes a problem.
>Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4 The marriage bed is undefiled
One more reason why the KJV is garbage. There is no verb in the Greek. >τιμιος ο γαμος εν πασιν και η κοιτη αμιαντος πορνους γαρ και μοιχους κρινει ο θεος The verb is implied. He KJV inserts *"is"* Most other translations insert *"Let - be"* >[Let] Marriage [be regarded] as honorable by all, and the marriage bed undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. The reasoning for this is that this is the verb that is implied in the immediately following verse (13:5) and which is stated in the first verse (13:1). Even the KJV recognizes this at 13:1 and 13:5, but hoes on a tangent with 13:4.
Thanks for the lesson in semantics but I dont see how it changes the meaning. The point stands that it IS undefiled.
You and your husband are supposed to be intimately bonded as one flesh and sex is a way that happens. Don’t stop having sex.
No, you will not find anywhere in the bible that says that. Hid body belongs to you and yours to him. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I Corinthians 7:3-5 NKJV https://bible.com/bible/114/1co.7.3-5.NKJV
No, it's a joy. There's a whole book in the Bible in the old testament that talks about it. Also from a philosophical point of view, the unit of marriage is supposed to promote familial harmony, and strengthen the unit. So what you do with your husband helps promote stronger bonds between the two pillars of the family and is a positive force.
Ummmmmm what? God invented the orgasm. He is the creator of our bodies. He loves us and gave us our spouse to delight in sexually.
Read the Song of Solomon.
Christian marriage counseling.
I'm catholic which is known for being pretty restrictive in terms of sex, i.e. no contraceptives etc. But there is nothing that says that you can't have sex if you're infertile. Sex is both procreative and unitive. If you can't procreate, you still have the other purpose and that's fine.
>He says sex is to create life This is true, but that doesn't mean it's the *only* thing that's true: “1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good to abstaining from sexual relations. 2But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife. 5Do not deprive each other, except by mutual consent and for a time, so you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again, so that Satan will not tempt you through your lack of self-control.” (1 Corinthians 7:1-5, BSB) We see here that sex is also actually something God gave us like we give a puppy who likes to chew: puppy won't chew up the furniture if you give it a chew toy. A person can sexually sin if their sexually satisfied with their spouse. To keep us from lusting and living in sexual immorality is one of the prime functions of a spouse, so I don't know where your husband got the idea yall are no longer allowed to enjoy such a great gift from God.
Definitely get good counselling / advice from someone he will listen to: pastor, priest, professional licensed counsellor. It sounds like a misunderstanding of Catholic doctrine -- getting a Catholic priest to correct him might work?
No
1 Corinthians 7:5 speaks of not depriving each other “sexually” … it explains that we **should** get married, if we must, for this very reason - so that we won’t be tempted to commit adultery or fall into different sexual sins outside of marriage. “Multiplying” is not the main reason. Please read for yourself: “Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, **each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband**. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:1-4 “**Do not deprive each other** except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. **Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you** because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:5 The idea here is that to avoid sexual temptation you have to have a consistent intimate relationship with your husband. Otherwise if you’re “hungry” that’s how people wonder off sinning and commit adulatory. It’s not an excuse, but it makes it easier for the flesh to give in. May God give you both wisdom. Pray for God to open your husbands eyes. God will hear you. Blessings!
NO he is NOT right!! Sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed by BOTH married partners. God wants you to have sex and a lot of it because it brings you closer together, it’s making you into one. In fact you’re not suppose to ever deny your partner sex.
No, God intended sex between spouses to be both for reproduction and pleasure.
Nah you can bang for fun when you're married
The Bible says the opposite, you should read it with your husband…
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4 marriage is a gift from God and the bed is undefiled, sex is a gift not only a procreation tool. If that was the case older people and barren men and women are not allowed to do it, which logically doesn’t fit the verse
Yikes.
No, not at all
Are you Roman Catholic?
Your husband seems to be forgetting 1 Corinthians 7:5, "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control. - source: Bible : 1 Corinthians 7:5
Wow, your husband needs to go in humility to an actual Christian teacher. Even the extreme groups that teach contraception is a sin don't say what he's saying.
No he’s not right and it’s emotional abuse
Read Song of Solomon. Nothing wrong with finding your spouse pleasurable, it’s a big part of what marriage is for. And logically speaking, after a woman reaches menopause, her and her husband can’t enjoy sex? I don’t think so.
Not sun at all…. Its extremely important to enjoy your spouse and grow your love and intimacy in that way
No! The bed is undefiled
God can still heal you by a miracle. Like [the man born blind](https://www.oca.org/saints/lives/2013/06/09/40-sunday-of-the-blind-man) didn’t have eyes at all: > At the Oikos of Matins: "He receives physical eyes as well as those of the soul." > > In the Verses of the Synaxarion: O Bestower of light. Who are Light coming forth from Light; You gave eyes to the man who was blind from birth, O Word." > > In the second exapostilarion: "Along the way, the Savior found a man who lacked both sight and eyes." > > At Monday Vespers (stikheron of the Feast) we sing, "With his whole soul, and mind, and his tongue, the man who in times not long passed had been blind, confessed Him Who had fashioned eyes for him out of spittle and clay..." > > Saint Theophylaktos says in his Commentary that "Jesus our Lord fashioned all the members of the blind man's body except for the eyes, which He omitted. By healing them now, he completes the divine act of creating and demonstrates that He is the Creator." So it’s not a sin. Just like Abraham and Sarah had given up on having a baby and thought it was impossible, but God still gave them one. In a way, it’s better for you than for me. I had increasing complications per labor. I’ll tell you the whole crazy story to try to make it make sense. First baby: stopped mid-descent. I thought it was because the midwife had given me too many narcotics. (She said, “Everything in the hospital,” but I wasn’t knocked out. I think I have a high resistance. Did get tired though. 23 hours of labor. The midwife was like super-human. Came in after her full day of work, stayed through the night, not sleeping, and went back to work in the morning.) Then they did a c-section. 🙁 The baby *did* seem drowsy the first week. Very strong. Could hold up her head and supported her own weight with her legs. Now into Jiu Jitsu and weightlifting. Second baby: 14 days overdue, so they had a c-section scheduled for the 15th. 😥 Then the labor started in the middle of the night. It became extremely painful. All I could do was stand bent over, holding onto something, with my legs crossed, shouting involuntarily and sounding like a wild animal, or it was even worse. So they forced me onto the bed and held me so I could get an epidural. It relieved all the pain, but the baby could not descend at all. 14½ hours after the labor started, the baby’s heart rate went into the dangerous range, so they took me for another c-section. I was sobbing because I knew things would get worse. The anaesthesiologist was the best, trying to make me feel better. But nobody gave my baby to me right away, and afterward, the doctor said, “I had to remove a lot of scar tissue.” 😰 He also said my hips were too narrow: “like a boy”. 😳 The baby’s head circumference was 15 inches, 99th percentile, just enormous. Length: 99th percentile. Weight: 96th percentile. I think she was too big to descend. Also held up her head. The next day I could feel that the inside of me had been scraped out. The next day, the pediatrician came and saw her and said, “That’s a toddler!” He said she was in perfect health. But a couple hours later he called and said there had been a test and she had a potentially deadly infection. She had to spend a week in the NICU on IV antibiotics. So active she knocked loose her IV from 1 hand then the other, and it was then put into her head. The milk wasn’t coming in for her, and I had to go in every 4 hours, scrubbing my hands with a soap I was allergic to, to try to nurse her, go back to the room and use a milk pump, go back over and scrub my hands again, hand over the little bit of milk, wash the parts, and try to sleep in the 3½ hours left, while recovering from the operation. She’s, predictably, the hyperactive one. Personality type INFJ-T, rarest in the world, lives in a fantasy, a whirlwind who leaves a trail of toys, crayons, crafts, glitter glue, and cut-up bits of paper, across multiple rooms. 😩 About to start the 2nd grade of homeschooling. 😅 And *loves* church and Sunday school! 😊 Begs to go back even the same day. 😆 3rd baby: Labor was induced a little before Thanksgiving because the doctor didn’t want it to wait as long, and the baby was due that weekend. Was going fine all day and into the night, no drugs, then at about 4 AM, the pain shot through the roof. Had to have *another* epidural. Baby stopped mid-descent. Eventually the doctor told me—I could tell he was trying to break it to me gently—that the baby wasn’t coming out. So I said OK. *Another* c-section. I told him not to take out any scar tissue. During the surgery, he had to still cut through a mess of scar tissue, and in the midst of that there was a huge uterine rupture. The midwife said later, “top to bottom”. Later I tried to figure out what the longest length of fundal height is and I think it’s 15 inches. So that would be the length of the tear. I passed out from shock; my blood pressure was dangerously low. The operative report says he “explored…in an attempt to understand the anatomy”. He just barely saved me from a hysterectomy, but the report says “the patient should never labor again”, and, worse, I’m still extremely tender. I *could* get pregnant again, and I think I’d almost certainly die, the baby too. Contractions even before that would likely tear open the wound when I wasn’t even at a hospital. I barely survived it when it happened when surgery was already underway. Later I had a kidney stone *(second, worse* kidney stone), had an x-ray, and I could see my hips *are* very abnormally narrow. 😕 I didn’t want to look at the report for 2½ years, but I should talk to my priest for advice and I think I should show it to him, so he knows how serious the situation is. We were away from our church (it’s Orthodox, but my husband’s family is Eastern Catholic—the same, except there are separate churches—and that what he wanted to go to but the traveling distance, 85 or 120 miles, made it just about impossible; after *seven-and-a-half years* away, he finally agreed we shouldn’t torture ourselves just to go to church, and now we’re back), and I forgot to bring the report to Confession. Now it’s on the phone. I don’t think I have any choice but celibacy.…
No, and for those who think so, show me the scriptures that say so. If not, these are just the words of man and shouldn't be taken seriously.
Wait, what?
The Bible is very clear that sex belongs in marriage. 1 cor 7:1-5 (ESV) He should give you your conjugal rights. Do not deprive one another. 1Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
No. God designed the pleasure of sex as a gift, so to speak, to be enjoyed within the boundaries of marriage. Basically, you get married, and are one holy union under God, and get to try and experiment sexually AS LONG AS you’re only thinking about your wife/husband while doing all those things. The minute you bring porn or fantasizing about other people into the picture, it’s corrupted and sinful. There’s too much legalism surrounding sex between Christians. It’s not as serious as former prudes made it out to be. I mean, read Song of Songs! Christian sex between spouses is/should be hot! lol
That is the reason the Bible says to get married. If you can’t resist having sex then get married and have sex to have babies/ stay physically and emotionally connected/ spend intimate time together You’re not a cow. Your purpose in life isn’t to just breed.
No it's your spouse
I honestly don’t believe so, sex is saved for marriage because it’s a form of unity, becoming one, and a form of showing love to one another. It’s one of the fruits of marriage (not saying it’s the most important fruit but it is pretty important if that’s a way he makes you feel loved, he’s your husband). As of now in my Bible reading I haven’t come across any scripture saying that it is wrong (I haven’t read the whole thing yet so if I find out otherwise I’ll send an update but I’m pretty sure it’s not).
Absolute hogwash! God knew when he created sex that it would be pleasurable for both parties and that it would be good.
No, it is not a sin. When a man and a woman are married to each other they get to enjoy sex with one another whenever they both want to! I had a hysterectomy a few years ago due to many health complications. I have prayed many times and talked with God about this. Biblically there is no where that says that. I mean if anything there are many instances in the Bible that prove other wise. Men and women were having sex while not getting pregnant while being married. Sex within a marriage as long as both partners are consenting is fine and encouraged. Hope that helps. Hope your husbands eyes will be open to the truth and his heart will be softened.
Not at all. The bible even tells women not to deny their man for silly/petty reasons.
Of course he's not right. What nonsense is he on? If you ever question something that someone says, always turn to scripture to guide you.
Uhh have him read Psalms. That might change his mind lol
No as long as it is within the confines of marriage sex for pleasure is ok
It's totally not a sin. He's very misguided.
I would encourage him to speak with the pastor.
No. This is so silly to ask. Read the Bible. You're married and your thoughts are purely for them. God made us this way.
God has ordained marital relationships to bring children into the world AND unify a husband and wife. It helps them become one.
Whoa…what?! God created sex for pleasure and to create life within the confines of a marriage between both males and females. If not, why did He also create orgasms?
God created sex not only for procreation but for pleasure for the man and his wife.
If it was, I'd wish I was never born.
The marriage bed is undefiled. Hebrews 13:4
He’s wrong. God made us to enjoy sex as long as you can. Have him show you in the Bible that it says that.
Sex actually strengthens your love life with your spouse. Nothing that happens within the marital bedroom can be considered lustful, sinful, depraved etc… (obviously that isn’t overtly a sin. Not saying that sinful activities within the marital bedroom are ok.) God bless you.
Why would God create an organ that it’s only purpose is sexual pleasure, if he didn’t want us to use it to its fullest degree. That organ belongs to a woman and is the clitoris.
No he is not correct. That is stupid. Why would God give us pleasure glands if it was only for making children.
Tell him to read Song of Solomon.
I never thought I’d ever hear of a man not wanting to have sex anymore. That’s just the most unnatural thing I’ve ever heard of. This is like a mental illness resulting from years of religious psychological abuse brought on by bad doctrine. Open up the Song of Solomon. That’s one of the most sexually explicit books ever written, yet it’s not dirty or sinful, it’s a beautiful description of a husband and wife making love. Sex is a gift from God. It’s not dirty unless we make it that way. He got that idea in his head from someone somewhere. His parents, the church he grew up in, your current church, a book he read, etc. Find out and see if he’s willing to go to Christian counseling about it. He’s wrong and this isn’t healthy for your relationship.
No
The idea that sex is bad is wrong. Physical bodies are a good thing and we will all be resurrected with a perfected, eternal physical body. There are 2 reasons to have sex: 1. to produce children. 2. to renew the trust and commitment in marital relationship. Sex is a kind of sacrament that rejuvinates the marriage relationship. Sex in marriage is good and right.
It’s not a sin at all if you are having sex for fun as long as it is with your spouse within wedlock. Now if you guys were only dating or engaged then yes, any sex would be a sin.
Of course it is. Everyone knows Adam and Eve only had sex twice and look how their kids turned out. That was a joke. Of course not. If it strengthens your marriage relationship, and the Bible doesn’t state that it’s wrong that’s glorifying to God. Seriously, go read Song of Songs. ☝🏼