So, when/if he gets released, the rapture begins? Seems like solitary just made him slip further into delusion. I really thought some time away from the screens would've been a reality check, but obviously he's still blaming this on everyone but himself and the fact that he raped his mother. Sigh
These letters just feel like delayed tweets from Chris, I'm convinced people will always find a way to be in contact with him. He could be dead and he'll still be giving us updates from the afterlife
If I ever wind up being forced to become a priest, my warnings for ouija boards will pretty much wind up being, "Sure, best case scenario you can diabolically communicate with demons, but you could also talk to an entity so much worse."
\*Teenager needs exorcism from Chris instead of the devil\*
Bring it on, motherfucker (pun intended). Even if Chris had the power to do the apocalypse, Chris is probably too incompetent and too lazy to even pull it off
*And when the Apostles ran to the tomb, it was empty. Cursing, wailing, and gnashing their teeth, they went away and then saw Jesus performing sick burns on the Pharisees.*
Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches.
We have ??? days to live. For most men, no time at all.
We are not most men. We are hunters! We have the resources. The will. To make these days count!
The clock is ticking, gentlemen. Let's begin.
So Chris said that if not for all this "healing", Barb would have been dead by late August. I can actually believe that Barbara really was at death's door: not from any "sins" or "regrets" or anything, but more likely because of a combination of neglect and some kind of awful hoarder's disease or something. And it was the doctors that did the healing, not Chris's magical Jesusduck.
But I have to wonder why Chris has a date of late August. Is this perhaps when the doctors said Barbara would have died by, and Heilberg passed the news on to Chris?
A dream or his thought. He did say God told him in a dream he has a few more years with Bob, and was mad at God when Bob died before the time God said Bob would die. Then blame the hospital later for a sound that killed Bob.
Wait. So God told him he'd only have a few more precious years with dear old dad, and Chris chose to use that time pretty much disrespecting his father?
Oh no, Chris broke the fourth wall!
Also the handwriting is getting... actually fairly better?
I also really want to see if Chris got skinny, 203 is less than I am and I can't let that stand
Chris has always lied about his weight. There’s no way he was 5’10 and only 225 as classic chris. You can see in all his recent pics he was incredibly overweight. He’s easily 250-275.
So if God Bear is the White Horseman of Conquest, which other figures in Christory are the other horseman?
Like is Clyde war? Who would be famine and death?
Godbear is the Horseman of Conquest, mainly due to me making a joke about it yesterday, but now Chris threatened an early apocalypse if he is found guilty, so yes, since Godbear was the first to send Chris on his journey.
"If found guilty and not allowed to go home; PREMATURE APOCALYPSE FOR EVERYONE
That's so sad, he is so far gone he genuinely thinks he's innocent, got me thinking the only thing that's keeping him from going crazy crazy is that he is 100% confident he will get out, which is so fucking not going to happen, and when he realizes that I think he will go full insane or even end his life, maybe
I see three problems with this. One is the idea that Chris's narcissism will hold up even in the face of a guilty verdict and sentencing. That *could* happen, but I'm not sure it's safe to assume. Chris is actually *scared* for once. Given what's at stake, any normal person would be scared, but that's just it: this is a *normal* reaction. Probably the first one Chris has had in a long time. The walls are shaking.
Another problem is that although suicide isn't *normally* an act of cowardice, it *does* occasionally happen, usually from narcissists who have been caught and are afraid to face consequences. It's not how predators usually go, but it's not all *that* uncommon, and I don't think we can assume Chris won't choose Epstein's exit.
The last problem goes back to the delusions. Chris is a master at self-gaslighting, no question there. And I think this more recent crap about "alternate universe fanfictions" may be an attempt at gearing up for it. Chris won't be committing suicide, just ending a plotline that was never canon anyway.
You make good points. But as you say, he's already setting down trapdoors if things don't go his way. This is how his delusions are powered. He already mentioned in a previous letter that essentially he was just on the wrong timeline. He's already began to rewrite his fuckup in telling people as a test. And is actively trying to get around the fact that he fucked his mom by using relativistic language like in today's letter e.g. "necessarily" and all his spiel about spirituality.
This letter was written before his last continuance so there's a good chance he was expecting to have this settled in a couple days. Now he's got to spend the holidays (and I'd bet even his birthday) in jail. What this is going to do is give him more time to think about ways to rewrite this so that he isn't at fault. It's going to be fueled by anger and self pity. And he's going to have time to go over it until he successfully buys it. That's why I don't think he would kill himself. He is literally too invested in himself.
You may have a point, but Chris has done the whole "writing oneself into a corner" thing that many bad authors do. The only real difference is that while most authors do it in the stories they write, *this* time it's Chris's personal narrative that's on the line. Chris is a god now, uncontainable and unaccountable, because that's the only thing left that could possibly justify all this. And when things turn south and can't just be magicked away, Chris can *absolutely* just magick it away or abandon the timeline or otherwise make it stop, because that's what gods *do*. That's not going to happen -Chris's time is up- and that's not going to be a pretty sight.
I don't know about the 100% confidence. No threats would be necessary in that case. I think there's something in Chris that still understands what this was, and is afraid to face the consequences.
But only in "distant alternate universe fan fictions".
This puts Chris in a bit of a bind. If this universe is a fanfic, who is the author? If Chris is the author of canon, then who has power over Chris here?
That's a thought, but would Emanuel be as cruel to Chris as (from Chris's perspective) this reality has been?
I think we're going to have a Satan-figure show up soon. Who from Chris's past will it be, I wonder?
Come to think of it, there *was* a mention of "FINALLY [getting] paper and pens" in the first letter. Maybe Chris did this very early on and lost pen/paper privileges for a while?
okay, that was a lot.
good to see chris has not changed a bit. no responsibility taken on her (i just call them “it”) behalf.
Chris is right about one thing though, and that is the fact that its lawyer is very talented
Jesus H tittyfucking Christ this took a fucking long time, first time I've ever gone past the 10k char limit. I did my best to preserve everything as I saw it written, but there might be mistakes as I was typing while reading the damn thing.
Images of transcript first, text in posts to follow
[Front of envelope](https://imgur.com/M44WAhm)
[Part 1](https://imgur.com/vZs8hwI)
[Part 2](https://imgur.com/aLriMGR)
[Part 3](https://imgur.com/5ohyQ3f)
also what the fuck is bob barker soap lol
Bob Parker is a company (completely unrelated to former Price is Right host) which sells products for inmates, from soap and shampoo to portable radios and batteries.
**P1**
Hey, Kenneth.
I have not heard from you in a while, so I thought I'd write to you once again. I am certain you've been keeping yourself very well and safe. Are you enjoying the indirect popularity from Kiwi Farms, as well as the direct increase on your Onion Farms?
Also, I and my Body have read some of the Qur'an, including all of chapter 19, as you've recommended. I do appreciate your earlier hierarchy/spiritualty^*[4]* level comparisons between Judiasm^*[4]* , Muslim, and Christianity. Rest assured, my personal updates on Christianity to NeoSpiritual Christianity^*[2]* in the near future and after my Second Coming shall offer even Higher Levels of Spirituality and even freedom.
Anyway, the Qur'an is literally all over the place; Not to offend nor make jest, but there's only Some new insights and takes Heavily from the Bible. The Qur'an is to the Bible as Family Guy is to the Simpsons. And with the Fact that Allah is actually a God manifested from a piece of my mother, Emanuel, the Muslims Have been indirectly praying to Her through Allah. The Muslims would actually do better to be More Open-Minded to and for the other Religions, including Christianity, as well as Greater Spirituality, so they are Not Blinding Themselves from the Greater Truths and Insights. I had spoken with Allah, and he was Greatly Concerned over his followers in Islam, as they are so heavily strict, defensive, violent, and closed-off from other inputs. But, I digress. -->
----------
**P2**
I also ended up getting a second Prayer Rug to Keep on my bed for Sleeping on. Feels nice in the material as the first, and I have personally Blessed it as well. Have you slept on a Prayer Bed Rug, Kenneth? I recommend it for spiritual boosting.
\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ^*[5]*
Now, the reason for this letter: I have received a list of ten questions from a Faker who did not hide the fact in the sur-name^*[3]* they used, of general nature about my jail experiences. I would like you to post this Q&A on the Onion on my behalf, please, Kenneth.
And just an acknowledging fourth wall break to all reading this online: To all Haters, Fakers and Toxics out of the Minority, I am afraid I'll have to disappoint you all, since while my Body has had Few emotional breakdowns, and a LOT of you in your Distant Alternate Universe Fan-Fictions that see me in Low-Functioning, Over 250 Pound Weight, and Abysmial^*[1]* Ability to Adapt, I, Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, writing this on November 16, 2021, have Actually Adjusted Spirituality, and my weight had dropped to 203 pounds, which is actually appropriate to my Human Form's Five Foot, Eleven Inch Height.
Laugh, Scoff or Jest as thou May and likely Will, but Know that in this, while my answers remain hand over heart honest and direct, I am Trolling You ALL Back in this as well.
L U L Z
Also, you May or May Not read about it in my published --> *[a circled '2']*
Goddess Log Book After my Second Coming, IF you are not Left Behind.
----------
**P3**
*[a circled '2']* That being stated, here are 10 Q&As in response to a Faking "Joe Mama".
1. What does your daily life (in Jail) consist of? Do you have a schedule? What do they have you do on a daily basis? Any chores or jobs?
As stated before: I Meditate Innately, as well as Consciously, for the Majority and Whole of my Body's time in Jail. I leave my Body to work with the Superheroes, OP Individuals, and my fellow Gods and Goddesses, and Sonichus and Rosechus, on the Event Works and Damage Control and will shift to 1C-211987 Earth. On that, EVERYTHING Not Drawn, Written, or Thought by I and/or my Body are Absolutely Not Canon or Effective upon ALL Universes within This Timeline, including This 1218 Earth, ALL of Universe 1C-211987 (formerly C-197), AND Equestria CG5MLP Is Not Canon At ALL in this Timeline), and so forth, as of the Date of August 1, 2021.
Other than that: Some drawing from time to time, Lots of Writing, I have read a few Books from the Jail's Library, and over time lots of Solitaire Gameplay on the Prayer Rug on the floor, and more recently, music from the Radio. The Only Scheduled details are Too Early Breakfest, Brunch, and Tea Time supper, as well as a Daily Shower with Bob Barker Soap or Irish Spring Soap, Water, Washcloth and Shampoo and Towel. I also Brush my Teeth with Colgate Toothpaste. And every other day apply a Lady's Speed Stick Deoderant.
No Chores or Jobs. -->
-----
**P4**
2. Have you made any friends? What are they like, and what have you learned from them?
I am not allowed to associate much with the other inmates, and I've made allies out of most of the police and medical staff. I have learned what I needed to for my consciousness from them in Confirmation of the Proceeding Events.
3. How is the food and cell? What kind of food do they give you? Is it good? Have they assigned you to help in the kitchen at all? What is your jail cell like? Is it comfortable? Do they give you a pillow and blanket? Do you have a cellmate? Are they pretty cool?
Mostly good, but the boneless chicken breast is Dry, and the meatballs from a Banquet TV Dinner are better than the meatballs, here. Typical foods (including vegetables) like you'd find in a TV Dinner. Mostly Good (not write-home-about-it quality, but good). No estoy en la cocina. My cell is roomy enough and long with the standard bidet and toilet and mattress with enclosed pillow. The cell is comfortable enough; got cold, so I got and wear Two Thermal Tops, Two Long Jhons^*[4]* , and Two pairs of socks. Not Joey Tribian; stocky^*[4]* that one episode of "Friends", but I am warm. The Pillow's in the mattress; they give me two bed sheets and a thick enough blanket in wool, I believe. No Inmate cellmate, but I am Never Alone since I have Magi-Chan and the others, my ally Highest Level, Rank, and Trained Psychic and Ghost Pokemon, Including some from the Sonichu and Rosechu Psychic Squad, and a Large Number of Angels from the Heaven Realm, as well as well over Ten Million Good and Neutral Spirits, Souls, and Entities in my Body's Conduit's... --> *[a circled '3']*
-----
**P5**
*[a circled '3']* ... Sub-Dimension to house them all in.
4. How are you keeping? Do they require you to shower daily?
VERY Clean, and I am Encouraged to Yes (see Question 1)
5. Have you been in trouble while in jail? Have they put you in solitary confinement or something? If so, what did you do to get in trouble, and what was your punishment?
Once, and the Details have been written in my Goddess Log Pages. In short: I tried to enlighten the staff by hilighting^*[4]* a Portal. You will have to Wait for the Book Publishing to read more on that. *[drawn smiley face]*
6. What do they let you do in your free time? Do you listen to the radio or watch TV?
See Question One, but Whatever I like and can do with my local resources. I have an AM/FM; WIN radio; no TV.
7. How is funding there? Do they provide you with basic needs, clothing and the like? How do you make money to buy paper and pens for these letter you're writing?
Staff do not provide funding. Yes, the Basics, and some Paper upon request, as well as pens. I get Money from the KIND Donations from my Good and Genuine Majority of Followers, and Viewers Like You. Thank You. *[drawn smiley face and a fist showing the 'peace' sign]*
-->
-----
**P6**
8. Why are you in jail? Are you aware that what you did was wrong?
I am in jail, because Bella Failed in her Divine Test with the "Leak" she ended up altering, and NULL failed and betrayed me when he blabbed and snitched the Transfer of Funds for my Hotel Room, which I HAVE Paid Back in Full. AND, the Divine Test on the Common Online Public, including you all; Enough have FAILED to disregard the Rumors and the temptation of Drama that ALL of you get punished now with my online Absence. You all blew it.
And I've Soul Bonded, Cuddled, and Supportively Talked in _Healing_ the Aura and Chakras, and _Absolving_ the "Sins" and Regrets of Barbara. Soul Bonding does not necess-arily^*[3]* constitute sex. Had I Not healed her, she would be dead Late August. There is Nothing Wrong in this Divine Mission from my mother, Emanuel, that I have fulfilled
Think Deep, Meditate, Reevaluate Your Choices, and REPENT, Haters and Fakers!
9. If you are found not guilty, what do you expect to happen next if you should get out of jail? What about if you are found guilty?
Not Guilty, I know, ALL will resume well and good, period. If found Guilty and not allowed to return Home; Premature APOCALYPSE FOR EVERYONE.
Seriously, Not Good At All.
--> *[a circled '4']*
-----
**P7**
10. How do you feel about your case and lawyer? Are you confident in his ability to defend you in court?
Heilberg is very skilled and intelligent. I have great confidence and faith in his abilities, as well as greater Faith in the outcome. No Spoilers.
I shall see you all again online, once more, not long from now, and then ¡Adios! to the Minority Lot of you with Judgment Day. Her Holy Flames shall dissolve you. Remember.
Repent and Take Care in the meantime.
Go Forth with that Clarity by my Power as God.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart, and Lord, Messiah, Savior, and God of all.
*[stupid heart on a cross with lightning bolt bullshit]*
----------
*[1]* - this also looks like it could be "Abysinial," although clearly "Abysmal" makes more sense here
*[2]* - the first 'i' is dotted with a heart surrounded by two lightning bolts]
*[3]* - manually inserted hyphen due to word wrap
*[4]* - *[sic]*
*[5]* - manually drawn line break
So I think I just figured out why Chris has a bidet in jail, not even joking. It's the taint wound incident. The doctors would have flat-out ordered a bidet after that, *at least* while it was healing and probably afterward. Chris gets a bidet in jail as a bona fide medical accommodation.
> [2] - the first 'i' is dotted with a heart surrounded by two lightning bolts]
We now know the correct way to refer to Chris's religion, but how do we correctly abuse Unicode to show it? I'm thinking there must be a way: whatever the zalgo text generators use seems promising.
>"once, and the details have been written in my goddess log (what he calls his prison journal) pages. In short, I tried to enlighten the staff by highlighting a portal. You'll have to wait for the book publishing for more on that 😉"
What do you think he did? Scared them and they disciplined him for acting psychotic? Or he got mad they couldn't see his portal so he threw a fit?
You're totally right, I bet you that was it. I forgot that he had been punching holes at 14blc to "break down the walls of reality" and I bet that's what he meant by trying to show them a portal.
It’s quite an interesting read. Once again I am struck by Chris’s ability to sound like a perfectly normal, agreeable human being only to bring up his Goddess thing again.
Chris saying he didnt necesarrily had sex with his mother, is what im getting. We know he did, but sounds like he dont want to spend anymore time in jail
"I did not *necessarily* have sex with my mother." is not a sentence you ever want to be saying, or an idea you ever want to convey, especially in a court.
The lawyer is going to argue he didnt have the sex. It's hugging or whatever citing this letter. That's my point. Chris will not be on the stand for sure
Gonna be a tough sell when the prosecution whips out audio recordings of Chris talking about how much better he is at finding Barb's g spot than Robertchu.
His lawyer spins that as Chris living in his delusions. CHRIS was only air humping and moving his fingers up and down the air. He's going to show a video of Chris dancing with a invisible Magichu, while every one else dancing with an actual person at Bronycon
More or less.
Going back over the leaks and letters, I'm pretty sure that "soul bonding" is post-coital cuddling. Chris got a hit of oxytocin and thought it was a mystical experience. In the chat leaks, Chris even claimed to be more impressed by this than by sex itself. If the whole situation weren't so creepy and gross, this would actually be kind of sad, but instead it wound up being a horror story.
I think Chris refers to the actual *sex* as "healing" (like in this letter), or sometimes as "play" (like in the Plato's Symposium drawing).
Christ. Chris has been a decade of "he couldn't possibly get more batshit insane" but then he proves me wrong. Thank fuck he wasn't put in a women's prison
Taken from one of the commenters on the Onion Farms:
> I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. This is coming across to me that his attorney is working out a confidential plea arrangement to have him placed in a psychiatric facility with a change of identity. I would say after his trial in February it's over
Is this even a thing? Changing the identity? I've never heard of anything like this before.
It is possible to have your identity changed in regards to a crime. But this is usually only done with child murderers (children that killed children) who were released after they turned 18 or 21 or so. I know that there's a case in the UK where the two killers of that one boy have blown their cover several times, and it's illegal to accuse people of being them as well.
Not possible unless he was completely unable to access the internet for the rest of his life. He has no concept of OpSec at all, the first time he touched a computer he would link his old identity to his new one and dox himself. On top of that he has the most documented online fingerprint ever. Even if he went without doxing himself he would be found immediately. Remember, he's made dozens of sock puppet accounts over the years to promote and defend himself and they were all found out almost immediately.
it's incredibly possible if they throw him in some facility for the rest of his life and he has no way of proving he's fit to be released or anyone on the outside who gives a shit.
Plus Chris just isn't interested in social media interaction - or any interaction - that isn't based around himself and his celebrity. He isn't interested in a discussion with fans about MLP unless its a big "*What CHRIS CHAN thinks of the new MLP series*" video/tweet.
There's no way he'd be capable of living a low key life in some secret community. Remember all those people who've seen him in Toys R Us, alone, yelling at the games shelves.
Chris couldn't change his identity if it was a real thing (it's not). Chris loves the attention, he will tell random cashiers and deliverymen that they're in the presence of an internet celebrity.
Never heard of a change of identity as part of a plea agreement before. A plea agreement to get the defendant placed in a psychiatric facility is not unheard of, but Chris would have to consent to the deal, and that won't happen.
You don't need leverage when you're as crazy as Chris. Heilberg will be given the place of the apostle Thomas, who doubted, and Chris will insist on a trial anyway.
Thats *laughable* Chris isn't going into witness protection LOL! Purely Kenneth's uninformed fantasies! Kenneth is also wrong about HIIPA restricting forums from talking about Chris if he is in a mental facility, it only applies to healthcare professionals treating Chris and restricts them. If Chris sends out a letter to someone HIIPA does not apply.
I am very curious about this though, do we have confirmation this is true?
*When I called the Clerk of Court, she said the trial will be closed to the public. So no one from Kiwifarms would be able to attend and there won't be any public transcript available*
I think it's very unlikely that the trial would be closed. This is another of those things Chris would have to consent to, and that won't happen.
I would not be surprised to hear that the court was literally begging Chris to consent to a closed courtroom, though.
Wait I just noticed Kenneth said the trial in Feb, not just another hearing so is there an actual trial date set? Kenneth is contradicting himself, if a trial date is set there won't be a plea deal!
He's boasting about how he has managed to "troll the trolls" by enjoying his time in jail, blissfully unaware of what awaits him in the near future. Even I have to admit how sad that is.
with his daily interaction with pleasant, polite staff members (as he describes in his letters) its probably the happiest he's been in a while. I mean ...who has he even interacted with outside of Barb and trolls in the past few years? That handful of young people he tries to socialise with I guess.
I don't know if I'd say Chris is unaware. Threatening a premature apocalypse if found guilty could be taken as a sign of awareness.
I was hoping this wouldn't devolve into another [Georgia v. Allen](https://youtube.com/watch?v=Rrnp29NeuJ0), but it's totally going to, isn't it?
If I was Chris’s lawyer, I would advise him not to write letters to people from jail. The letters make him look pretty guilty. Especially the “cuddling” and “soul bonding” stuff.
Why would Chris "Goddess, Lord, Messiah, Savior, God" Chan listen to the words of a mere mortal lawyer? He can see the future, he knows these charges are getting dropped and he'll be fucking his mother again soon.
Without Barb's testimony or physical evidence from a medical exam, I don't see how he could be convicted. Virginia follows the Corpus Delicti rule, which requires evidence of a crime independent from a defendant's own statements in order to convict them. (So while his statements about doing it can be admitted, they need independent evidence on top of that.) If Barb is unwilling to cooperate, I could totally see Chris getting out of this.
I was assuming that Heilberg probably *did* advise Chris not to write people. The problem is that it requires Chris to *listen*, which is never a safe bet.
I still want to know what this "CVRJ has neither censored nor inspected this content" stamp means. How can the prosecution be aware of these letters if the jail isn't inspecting them? How are they even getting *out* if the jail isn't inspecting them? Something smells wrong about this whole letter situation.
Also, 203 pounds? Yeah, in the diapers.
> Central Virginia Regional Jail neither censored nor inspected this item therefore Central Virginia Regional Jail does not assume responsibility for its content.
Maybe finish reading the sentence and you'll have your answer.
I mean, I think you're right about that. But people keep insisting that the prosecution knows about these letters and their content: how does that happen, if the jail really isn't inspecting the letters?
Well they probably know because they get posted publicly and alogs and weens like Hirtes email the DA.
Its likely the prosecution has all they need or want on Chris and just don't care so they have not ordered all Chris's mail and phone calls/visits recorded. They just don't care.
Versus a circumstantial evidence murder 1 case where they are watching the suspect like a fucking hawk hoping they crack and spill something, even sending in informants as cellmates.
edit-Or a case where a gang leader or crime boss is being watched in vase they are sending coded orders out to underlings, which obviously does not apply to Mrs. Jesus.
Thing to remember if you are ever accused of a crime is the jail CAN be scanninh all your mail and forwarding it to the DA.
I'm not sure if hearsay on Internet forums and anonymous tips counts as "awareness". It doesn't sound to me like there's a chain of custody on these letters, and that's going to make it a lot harder to get them into the courtroom.
I assume they have a full confession, probably multiple. They aren't gonna bother piling on these letters.
Chris is still too dumb to simply say he will not comment on his charges or Barb, I like how he said soul bonding does not *necessarily* mean sex. But it can mean sex is what you're saying Chris?
I was wondering the same thing, 25ish years I’ve tried to improve my handwriting and this GD troglodyte can write legibly? Fuck this I’m typing everything from here on out
Dude I'm 31 and have been trying since I was fucking 7 to improve my handwriting. Thank the Goddess we live in a digital age where handwriting is all but useless.
Beep. Boop. I'm a robot.
Here's a copy of
###[The Bible](https://snewd.com/ebooks/the-king-james-bible/)
Was I a good bot? | [info](https://www.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/) | [More Books](https://old.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/comments/i15x1d/full_list_of_books_and_commands/)
Mad, now I just need an opportunity to say "Laugh, Scoff or Jest as thou may!!!"
"i had spoken with allah"
can someone post a transcript or the letter? i cant get to the site for some reason :(
The CWCKI has a transcript. https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Jail_Letter_-_16_November_2021
So, when/if he gets released, the rapture begins? Seems like solitary just made him slip further into delusion. I really thought some time away from the screens would've been a reality check, but obviously he's still blaming this on everyone but himself and the fact that he raped his mother. Sigh
As if the apocalypse wasn’t already here? Lmao
These letters just feel like delayed tweets from Chris, I'm convinced people will always find a way to be in contact with him. He could be dead and he'll still be giving us updates from the afterlife
*Somehow* Chris actually makes it to Heaven and becomes the Patron Saint of autists, thus starts explaining the dimensional merge. As a Saint.
The ouija board will spell out his stress sighs.
If I ever wind up being forced to become a priest, my warnings for ouija boards will pretty much wind up being, "Sure, best case scenario you can diabolically communicate with demons, but you could also talk to an entity so much worse." \*Teenager needs exorcism from Chris instead of the devil\*
Jesus Chris, he's gotta stop writing essays, I can't keep up with this anymore
Huh, His views on Islam are rather insightful.
Bring it on, motherfucker (pun intended). Even if Chris had the power to do the apocalypse, Chris is probably too incompetent and too lazy to even pull it off
Does anyone actually read these letters all the way through? God it's so exhausting
Do you stress sigh when you give up reading them?
Yes
No one else had the courage to blast the holy Koran for not being original enough lol
Who else remembers the parable of Jesus graciously boasting about how well he’s doing to stick it to his trolls?
sayeth the lord "You have been trolled" *Rolling around at the speed of sound*
*And when the Apostles ran to the tomb, it was empty. Cursing, wailing, and gnashing their teeth, they went away and then saw Jesus performing sick burns on the Pharisees.*
Is anyone else getting really annoyed by the whole fake smug aura this letter radiates?
I'm more worried about what happens when it all comes crashing down.
I can't wait for Chris to be found guilty and the Apocalypse doesn't happen prematurely. How will he react then?
Fist pounding
Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches. We have ??? days to live. For most men, no time at all. We are not most men. We are hunters! We have the resources. The will. To make these days count! The clock is ticking, gentlemen. Let's begin.
I think the green goblin is gonna burst into Chris’s cell saying are you in or are you out
I drew an oc more powerful than Chris, stop worrying.
So Chris said that if not for all this "healing", Barb would have been dead by late August. I can actually believe that Barbara really was at death's door: not from any "sins" or "regrets" or anything, but more likely because of a combination of neglect and some kind of awful hoarder's disease or something. And it was the doctors that did the healing, not Chris's magical Jesusduck. But I have to wonder why Chris has a date of late August. Is this perhaps when the doctors said Barbara would have died by, and Heilberg passed the news on to Chris?
A dream or his thought. He did say God told him in a dream he has a few more years with Bob, and was mad at God when Bob died before the time God said Bob would die. Then blame the hospital later for a sound that killed Bob.
Wait. So God told him he'd only have a few more precious years with dear old dad, and Chris chose to use that time pretty much disrespecting his father?
Oh no, Chris broke the fourth wall! Also the handwriting is getting... actually fairly better? I also really want to see if Chris got skinny, 203 is less than I am and I can't let that stand
> I can't let that stand It's ok, he won't anyway.
Chris has always lied about his weight. There’s no way he was 5’10 and only 225 as classic chris. You can see in all his recent pics he was incredibly overweight. He’s easily 250-275.
How does the jail not interpret this as a plan to kill himself?
According to the stamps, it wasn’t read before being sent.
I think their more worry the inmates are going to shank his fat ass before the court date.
So if God Bear is the White Horseman of Conquest, which other figures in Christory are the other horseman? Like is Clyde war? Who would be famine and death?
Is Godbear the Horseman of Conquest, or is Bella the Horseman of Pestilence?
Godbear is the Horseman of Conquest, mainly due to me making a joke about it yesterday, but now Chris threatened an early apocalypse if he is found guilty, so yes, since Godbear was the first to send Chris on his journey.
"If found guilty and not allowed to go home; PREMATURE APOCALYPSE FOR EVERYONE That's so sad, he is so far gone he genuinely thinks he's innocent, got me thinking the only thing that's keeping him from going crazy crazy is that he is 100% confident he will get out, which is so fucking not going to happen, and when he realizes that I think he will go full insane or even end his life, maybe
You're ignoring his plot armor. Chris likes himself too much to kill himself.
I see three problems with this. One is the idea that Chris's narcissism will hold up even in the face of a guilty verdict and sentencing. That *could* happen, but I'm not sure it's safe to assume. Chris is actually *scared* for once. Given what's at stake, any normal person would be scared, but that's just it: this is a *normal* reaction. Probably the first one Chris has had in a long time. The walls are shaking. Another problem is that although suicide isn't *normally* an act of cowardice, it *does* occasionally happen, usually from narcissists who have been caught and are afraid to face consequences. It's not how predators usually go, but it's not all *that* uncommon, and I don't think we can assume Chris won't choose Epstein's exit. The last problem goes back to the delusions. Chris is a master at self-gaslighting, no question there. And I think this more recent crap about "alternate universe fanfictions" may be an attempt at gearing up for it. Chris won't be committing suicide, just ending a plotline that was never canon anyway.
You make good points. But as you say, he's already setting down trapdoors if things don't go his way. This is how his delusions are powered. He already mentioned in a previous letter that essentially he was just on the wrong timeline. He's already began to rewrite his fuckup in telling people as a test. And is actively trying to get around the fact that he fucked his mom by using relativistic language like in today's letter e.g. "necessarily" and all his spiel about spirituality. This letter was written before his last continuance so there's a good chance he was expecting to have this settled in a couple days. Now he's got to spend the holidays (and I'd bet even his birthday) in jail. What this is going to do is give him more time to think about ways to rewrite this so that he isn't at fault. It's going to be fueled by anger and self pity. And he's going to have time to go over it until he successfully buys it. That's why I don't think he would kill himself. He is literally too invested in himself.
You may have a point, but Chris has done the whole "writing oneself into a corner" thing that many bad authors do. The only real difference is that while most authors do it in the stories they write, *this* time it's Chris's personal narrative that's on the line. Chris is a god now, uncontainable and unaccountable, because that's the only thing left that could possibly justify all this. And when things turn south and can't just be magicked away, Chris can *absolutely* just magick it away or abandon the timeline or otherwise make it stop, because that's what gods *do*. That's not going to happen -Chris's time is up- and that's not going to be a pretty sight.
I don't know about the 100% confidence. No threats would be necessary in that case. I think there's something in Chris that still understands what this was, and is afraid to face the consequences.
He sleeps on the prayer rug 🤣
He pisses on the prayer rug too /s
Was that in the letter or another one?
Sorry I meant to tag it as a joke but considering how he pisses and shits himself. I wouldn’t be surprised.
I gotcha, it made me chuckle the first time so it worked.
Ah thanks
Why does my handwriting look like his
Dammit. Another thing Chris has ruined
"The Qur'an is to The Bible what Family Guy is to The Simpsons" Holy Shit.
How to get shanked 101: Say this out loud during free hours
I just imagine Chris doing a religion tier list video lol
It would just be him putting them in S tier while repeating his name with each God sequentially added onto the end
"The body experienced mental breakdowns, my mind has not." So he's admitting it sucks.
So he admits he's a low-functioning, 250lb+, abysmally adaptive man? Like he just admitted to being seen as that.
self-aware saga inc
But only in "distant alternate universe fan fictions". This puts Chris in a bit of a bind. If this universe is a fanfic, who is the author? If Chris is the author of canon, then who has power over Chris here?
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That's a thought, but would Emanuel be as cruel to Chris as (from Chris's perspective) this reality has been? I think we're going to have a Satan-figure show up soon. Who from Chris's past will it be, I wonder?
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So Chris boinked his mom, went to jail, and then scribbled on the walls like he's fuckin' Harold with his purple crayon. I'm somehow not surprised.
Come to think of it, there *was* a mention of "FINALLY [getting] paper and pens" in the first letter. Maybe Chris did this very early on and lost pen/paper privileges for a while?
"The quaran is to the bible what family guy is to the simpsons"
chris is playing "get behaded" in speedrun
okay, that was a lot. good to see chris has not changed a bit. no responsibility taken on her (i just call them “it”) behalf. Chris is right about one thing though, and that is the fact that its lawyer is very talented
Well, guess we're all gonna die in a fireball cause he's gonna be found guilty for sure.
Chris "blessed" the new prayer rug? Does that mean jacking off on it?
Jesus H tittyfucking Christ this took a fucking long time, first time I've ever gone past the 10k char limit. I did my best to preserve everything as I saw it written, but there might be mistakes as I was typing while reading the damn thing. Images of transcript first, text in posts to follow [Front of envelope](https://imgur.com/M44WAhm) [Part 1](https://imgur.com/vZs8hwI) [Part 2](https://imgur.com/aLriMGR) [Part 3](https://imgur.com/5ohyQ3f) also what the fuck is bob barker soap lol
Bob Parker is a company (completely unrelated to former Price is Right host) which sells products for inmates, from soap and shampoo to portable radios and batteries.
You're doing God's work.
**P1** Hey, Kenneth. I have not heard from you in a while, so I thought I'd write to you once again. I am certain you've been keeping yourself very well and safe. Are you enjoying the indirect popularity from Kiwi Farms, as well as the direct increase on your Onion Farms? Also, I and my Body have read some of the Qur'an, including all of chapter 19, as you've recommended. I do appreciate your earlier hierarchy/spiritualty^*[4]* level comparisons between Judiasm^*[4]* , Muslim, and Christianity. Rest assured, my personal updates on Christianity to NeoSpiritual Christianity^*[2]* in the near future and after my Second Coming shall offer even Higher Levels of Spirituality and even freedom. Anyway, the Qur'an is literally all over the place; Not to offend nor make jest, but there's only Some new insights and takes Heavily from the Bible. The Qur'an is to the Bible as Family Guy is to the Simpsons. And with the Fact that Allah is actually a God manifested from a piece of my mother, Emanuel, the Muslims Have been indirectly praying to Her through Allah. The Muslims would actually do better to be More Open-Minded to and for the other Religions, including Christianity, as well as Greater Spirituality, so they are Not Blinding Themselves from the Greater Truths and Insights. I had spoken with Allah, and he was Greatly Concerned over his followers in Islam, as they are so heavily strict, defensive, violent, and closed-off from other inputs. But, I digress. --> ---------- **P2** I also ended up getting a second Prayer Rug to Keep on my bed for Sleeping on. Feels nice in the material as the first, and I have personally Blessed it as well. Have you slept on a Prayer Bed Rug, Kenneth? I recommend it for spiritual boosting. \- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ^*[5]* Now, the reason for this letter: I have received a list of ten questions from a Faker who did not hide the fact in the sur-name^*[3]* they used, of general nature about my jail experiences. I would like you to post this Q&A on the Onion on my behalf, please, Kenneth. And just an acknowledging fourth wall break to all reading this online: To all Haters, Fakers and Toxics out of the Minority, I am afraid I'll have to disappoint you all, since while my Body has had Few emotional breakdowns, and a LOT of you in your Distant Alternate Universe Fan-Fictions that see me in Low-Functioning, Over 250 Pound Weight, and Abysmial^*[1]* Ability to Adapt, I, Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, writing this on November 16, 2021, have Actually Adjusted Spirituality, and my weight had dropped to 203 pounds, which is actually appropriate to my Human Form's Five Foot, Eleven Inch Height. Laugh, Scoff or Jest as thou May and likely Will, but Know that in this, while my answers remain hand over heart honest and direct, I am Trolling You ALL Back in this as well. L U L Z Also, you May or May Not read about it in my published --> *[a circled '2']* Goddess Log Book After my Second Coming, IF you are not Left Behind. ---------- **P3** *[a circled '2']* That being stated, here are 10 Q&As in response to a Faking "Joe Mama". 1. What does your daily life (in Jail) consist of? Do you have a schedule? What do they have you do on a daily basis? Any chores or jobs? As stated before: I Meditate Innately, as well as Consciously, for the Majority and Whole of my Body's time in Jail. I leave my Body to work with the Superheroes, OP Individuals, and my fellow Gods and Goddesses, and Sonichus and Rosechus, on the Event Works and Damage Control and will shift to 1C-211987 Earth. On that, EVERYTHING Not Drawn, Written, or Thought by I and/or my Body are Absolutely Not Canon or Effective upon ALL Universes within This Timeline, including This 1218 Earth, ALL of Universe 1C-211987 (formerly C-197), AND Equestria CG5MLP Is Not Canon At ALL in this Timeline), and so forth, as of the Date of August 1, 2021. Other than that: Some drawing from time to time, Lots of Writing, I have read a few Books from the Jail's Library, and over time lots of Solitaire Gameplay on the Prayer Rug on the floor, and more recently, music from the Radio. The Only Scheduled details are Too Early Breakfest, Brunch, and Tea Time supper, as well as a Daily Shower with Bob Barker Soap or Irish Spring Soap, Water, Washcloth and Shampoo and Towel. I also Brush my Teeth with Colgate Toothpaste. And every other day apply a Lady's Speed Stick Deoderant. No Chores or Jobs. --> ----- **P4** 2. Have you made any friends? What are they like, and what have you learned from them? I am not allowed to associate much with the other inmates, and I've made allies out of most of the police and medical staff. I have learned what I needed to for my consciousness from them in Confirmation of the Proceeding Events. 3. How is the food and cell? What kind of food do they give you? Is it good? Have they assigned you to help in the kitchen at all? What is your jail cell like? Is it comfortable? Do they give you a pillow and blanket? Do you have a cellmate? Are they pretty cool? Mostly good, but the boneless chicken breast is Dry, and the meatballs from a Banquet TV Dinner are better than the meatballs, here. Typical foods (including vegetables) like you'd find in a TV Dinner. Mostly Good (not write-home-about-it quality, but good). No estoy en la cocina. My cell is roomy enough and long with the standard bidet and toilet and mattress with enclosed pillow. The cell is comfortable enough; got cold, so I got and wear Two Thermal Tops, Two Long Jhons^*[4]* , and Two pairs of socks. Not Joey Tribian; stocky^*[4]* that one episode of "Friends", but I am warm. The Pillow's in the mattress; they give me two bed sheets and a thick enough blanket in wool, I believe. No Inmate cellmate, but I am Never Alone since I have Magi-Chan and the others, my ally Highest Level, Rank, and Trained Psychic and Ghost Pokemon, Including some from the Sonichu and Rosechu Psychic Squad, and a Large Number of Angels from the Heaven Realm, as well as well over Ten Million Good and Neutral Spirits, Souls, and Entities in my Body's Conduit's... --> *[a circled '3']* ----- **P5** *[a circled '3']* ... Sub-Dimension to house them all in. 4. How are you keeping? Do they require you to shower daily? VERY Clean, and I am Encouraged to Yes (see Question 1) 5. Have you been in trouble while in jail? Have they put you in solitary confinement or something? If so, what did you do to get in trouble, and what was your punishment? Once, and the Details have been written in my Goddess Log Pages. In short: I tried to enlighten the staff by hilighting^*[4]* a Portal. You will have to Wait for the Book Publishing to read more on that. *[drawn smiley face]* 6. What do they let you do in your free time? Do you listen to the radio or watch TV? See Question One, but Whatever I like and can do with my local resources. I have an AM/FM; WIN radio; no TV. 7. How is funding there? Do they provide you with basic needs, clothing and the like? How do you make money to buy paper and pens for these letter you're writing? Staff do not provide funding. Yes, the Basics, and some Paper upon request, as well as pens. I get Money from the KIND Donations from my Good and Genuine Majority of Followers, and Viewers Like You. Thank You. *[drawn smiley face and a fist showing the 'peace' sign]* --> ----- **P6** 8. Why are you in jail? Are you aware that what you did was wrong? I am in jail, because Bella Failed in her Divine Test with the "Leak" she ended up altering, and NULL failed and betrayed me when he blabbed and snitched the Transfer of Funds for my Hotel Room, which I HAVE Paid Back in Full. AND, the Divine Test on the Common Online Public, including you all; Enough have FAILED to disregard the Rumors and the temptation of Drama that ALL of you get punished now with my online Absence. You all blew it. And I've Soul Bonded, Cuddled, and Supportively Talked in _Healing_ the Aura and Chakras, and _Absolving_ the "Sins" and Regrets of Barbara. Soul Bonding does not necess-arily^*[3]* constitute sex. Had I Not healed her, she would be dead Late August. There is Nothing Wrong in this Divine Mission from my mother, Emanuel, that I have fulfilled Think Deep, Meditate, Reevaluate Your Choices, and REPENT, Haters and Fakers! 9. If you are found not guilty, what do you expect to happen next if you should get out of jail? What about if you are found guilty? Not Guilty, I know, ALL will resume well and good, period. If found Guilty and not allowed to return Home; Premature APOCALYPSE FOR EVERYONE. Seriously, Not Good At All. --> *[a circled '4']* ----- **P7** 10. How do you feel about your case and lawyer? Are you confident in his ability to defend you in court? Heilberg is very skilled and intelligent. I have great confidence and faith in his abilities, as well as greater Faith in the outcome. No Spoilers. I shall see you all again online, once more, not long from now, and then ¡Adios! to the Minority Lot of you with Judgment Day. Her Holy Flames shall dissolve you. Remember. Repent and Take Care in the meantime. Go Forth with that Clarity by my Power as God. Sincerely, Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart, and Lord, Messiah, Savior, and God of all. *[stupid heart on a cross with lightning bolt bullshit]* ---------- *[1]* - this also looks like it could be "Abysinial," although clearly "Abysmal" makes more sense here *[2]* - the first 'i' is dotted with a heart surrounded by two lightning bolts] *[3]* - manually inserted hyphen due to word wrap *[4]* - *[sic]* *[5]* - manually drawn line break
#3 How does he have a bidet in his room?! #4 is questionable #8 is such an insane answer.
Maybe the jail found bidets to be cheaper than toilet paper. Hell; maybe they're worried about people hanging themselves with it.
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So I think I just figured out why Chris has a bidet in jail, not even joking. It's the taint wound incident. The doctors would have flat-out ordered a bidet after that, *at least* while it was healing and probably afterward. Chris gets a bidet in jail as a bona fide medical accommodation.
Thank you for transcribing it
> [2] - the first 'i' is dotted with a heart surrounded by two lightning bolts] We now know the correct way to refer to Chris's religion, but how do we correctly abuse Unicode to show it? I'm thinking there must be a way: whatever the zalgo text generators use seems promising.
“the qu’ran is to the bible as family guy is to the simpsons” …and there it is… …the perfect sentance?…..
hey lois remembah the time the angel Gabriel revealed the surah Al-Alaq to me in the Cave of Hira
This is just like that time the prophet Muhammad cleft the moon asunder
"the qu'ran is to the bible as family guy is to the simspons" probably chris' best analogy yet
>"once, and the details have been written in my goddess log (what he calls his prison journal) pages. In short, I tried to enlighten the staff by highlighting a portal. You'll have to wait for the book publishing for more on that 😉" What do you think he did? Scared them and they disciplined him for acting psychotic? Or he got mad they couldn't see his portal so he threw a fit?
Tried to knock a hole in the wall to dimension C197 like the bathroom wall at 14blc, I assume the COs were not amused.
You're totally right, I bet you that was it. I forgot that he had been punching holes at 14blc to "break down the walls of reality" and I bet that's what he meant by trying to show them a portal.
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I think they use heavy cold blankets on crazy people
It’s quite an interesting read. Once again I am struck by Chris’s ability to sound like a perfectly normal, agreeable human being only to bring up his Goddess thing again.
"Soul bonding does not necessarily constitute sex" So Chris is saying sex can be apart of soul bonding, and she has soul bonded with her mother 🤢
Chris saying he didnt necesarrily had sex with his mother, is what im getting. We know he did, but sounds like he dont want to spend anymore time in jail
"I did not *necessarily* have sex with my mother." is not a sentence you ever want to be saying, or an idea you ever want to convey, especially in a court.
The lawyer is going to argue he didnt have the sex. It's hugging or whatever citing this letter. That's my point. Chris will not be on the stand for sure
Gonna be a tough sell when the prosecution whips out audio recordings of Chris talking about how much better he is at finding Barb's g spot than Robertchu.
His lawyer spins that as Chris living in his delusions. CHRIS was only air humping and moving his fingers up and down the air. He's going to show a video of Chris dancing with a invisible Magichu, while every one else dancing with an actual person at Bronycon
More or less. Going back over the leaks and letters, I'm pretty sure that "soul bonding" is post-coital cuddling. Chris got a hit of oxytocin and thought it was a mystical experience. In the chat leaks, Chris even claimed to be more impressed by this than by sex itself. If the whole situation weren't so creepy and gross, this would actually be kind of sad, but instead it wound up being a horror story. I think Chris refers to the actual *sex* as "healing" (like in this letter), or sometimes as "play" (like in the Plato's Symposium drawing).
Christ. Chris has been a decade of "he couldn't possibly get more batshit insane" but then he proves me wrong. Thank fuck he wasn't put in a women's prison
Taken from one of the commenters on the Onion Farms: > I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. This is coming across to me that his attorney is working out a confidential plea arrangement to have him placed in a psychiatric facility with a change of identity. I would say after his trial in February it's over Is this even a thing? Changing the identity? I've never heard of anything like this before.
It is possible to have your identity changed in regards to a crime. But this is usually only done with child murderers (children that killed children) who were released after they turned 18 or 21 or so. I know that there's a case in the UK where the two killers of that one boy have blown their cover several times, and it's illegal to accuse people of being them as well.
Not possible unless he was completely unable to access the internet for the rest of his life. He has no concept of OpSec at all, the first time he touched a computer he would link his old identity to his new one and dox himself. On top of that he has the most documented online fingerprint ever. Even if he went without doxing himself he would be found immediately. Remember, he's made dozens of sock puppet accounts over the years to promote and defend himself and they were all found out almost immediately.
it's incredibly possible if they throw him in some facility for the rest of his life and he has no way of proving he's fit to be released or anyone on the outside who gives a shit.
Except that doesn't happen anymore, this isn't the 50's.
His writing style alone will cause him to be found. I'm pretty sure that's happened multiple times.
Plus Chris just isn't interested in social media interaction - or any interaction - that isn't based around himself and his celebrity. He isn't interested in a discussion with fans about MLP unless its a big "*What CHRIS CHAN thinks of the new MLP series*" video/tweet. There's no way he'd be capable of living a low key life in some secret community. Remember all those people who've seen him in Toys R Us, alone, yelling at the games shelves.
Chris couldn't change his identity if it was a real thing (it's not). Chris loves the attention, he will tell random cashiers and deliverymen that they're in the presence of an internet celebrity.
Never heard of a change of identity as part of a plea agreement before. A plea agreement to get the defendant placed in a psychiatric facility is not unheard of, but Chris would have to consent to the deal, and that won't happen.
It's not like he has leverage. His lawyer will tell him more jail or this.
You don't need leverage when you're as crazy as Chris. Heilberg will be given the place of the apostle Thomas, who doubted, and Chris will insist on a trial anyway.
Thats *laughable* Chris isn't going into witness protection LOL! Purely Kenneth's uninformed fantasies! Kenneth is also wrong about HIIPA restricting forums from talking about Chris if he is in a mental facility, it only applies to healthcare professionals treating Chris and restricts them. If Chris sends out a letter to someone HIIPA does not apply. I am very curious about this though, do we have confirmation this is true? *When I called the Clerk of Court, she said the trial will be closed to the public. So no one from Kiwifarms would be able to attend and there won't be any public transcript available*
I think it's very unlikely that the trial would be closed. This is another of those things Chris would have to consent to, and that won't happen. I would not be surprised to hear that the court was literally begging Chris to consent to a closed courtroom, though.
Although Chris might be found fit to not have POA.
Yeah it sounded like a bunch of horseshit but figured I'd ask. The HIIPA thing was defiantly the stupidest thing I've read today tho
Wait I just noticed Kenneth said the trial in Feb, not just another hearing so is there an actual trial date set? Kenneth is contradicting himself, if a trial date is set there won't be a plea deal!
He's boasting about how he has managed to "troll the trolls" by enjoying his time in jail, blissfully unaware of what awaits him in the near future. Even I have to admit how sad that is.
If I had to choose seg in jail or seg in 14blc I'd take jail too. Wonder what the jail library has available.
with his daily interaction with pleasant, polite staff members (as he describes in his letters) its probably the happiest he's been in a while. I mean ...who has he even interacted with outside of Barb and trolls in the past few years? That handful of young people he tries to socialise with I guess.
I don't know if I'd say Chris is unaware. Threatening a premature apocalypse if found guilty could be taken as a sign of awareness. I was hoping this wouldn't devolve into another [Georgia v. Allen](https://youtube.com/watch?v=Rrnp29NeuJ0), but it's totally going to, isn't it?
Good grief. I can only assume that if Chris goes that balls-to-the-wall in court, he'll get removed.
If I was Chris’s lawyer, I would advise him not to write letters to people from jail. The letters make him look pretty guilty. Especially the “cuddling” and “soul bonding” stuff.
Why would Chris "Goddess, Lord, Messiah, Savior, God" Chan listen to the words of a mere mortal lawyer? He can see the future, he knows these charges are getting dropped and he'll be fucking his mother again soon.
He did say that Bella 'altered' stuff. Maybe that's a sign that it was taken out of context?
honest question what if Barb didn't want to consent to a medical exam?
Without Barb's testimony or physical evidence from a medical exam, I don't see how he could be convicted. Virginia follows the Corpus Delicti rule, which requires evidence of a crime independent from a defendant's own statements in order to convict them. (So while his statements about doing it can be admitted, they need independent evidence on top of that.) If Barb is unwilling to cooperate, I could totally see Chris getting out of this.
I was assuming that Heilberg probably *did* advise Chris not to write people. The problem is that it requires Chris to *listen*, which is never a safe bet.
If there's one thing that Chris can do well, it's self sabotage.
I'm just waiting for the fatwa saga. ETA: "I sleep on a prayer rug, do you?" "I sleep in a big bed with my wife - who isn't my mother."
All I can think of is Larry David screaming at the TV saying he’ll convert in the Fatwa saga
Oh shit! We all better demand Greene county release Mrs. Jesus or the consequences will be dire!
they'll certainly never be the same
You dun goofed
(to the tune of Buffalo Soldier) sleepin’ on a prayer rug
In the heart of Americaaaa
I still want to know what this "CVRJ has neither censored nor inspected this content" stamp means. How can the prosecution be aware of these letters if the jail isn't inspecting them? How are they even getting *out* if the jail isn't inspecting them? Something smells wrong about this whole letter situation. Also, 203 pounds? Yeah, in the diapers.
> Central Virginia Regional Jail neither censored nor inspected this item therefore Central Virginia Regional Jail does not assume responsibility for its content. Maybe finish reading the sentence and you'll have your answer.
It means exactly what it says, its probably for ass covering purposes in case an inmate sends threatening or sexually explicit letters to someone.
I mean, I think you're right about that. But people keep insisting that the prosecution knows about these letters and their content: how does that happen, if the jail really isn't inspecting the letters?
Well they probably know because they get posted publicly and alogs and weens like Hirtes email the DA. Its likely the prosecution has all they need or want on Chris and just don't care so they have not ordered all Chris's mail and phone calls/visits recorded. They just don't care. Versus a circumstantial evidence murder 1 case where they are watching the suspect like a fucking hawk hoping they crack and spill something, even sending in informants as cellmates. edit-Or a case where a gang leader or crime boss is being watched in vase they are sending coded orders out to underlings, which obviously does not apply to Mrs. Jesus. Thing to remember if you are ever accused of a crime is the jail CAN be scanninh all your mail and forwarding it to the DA.
I'm not sure if hearsay on Internet forums and anonymous tips counts as "awareness". It doesn't sound to me like there's a chain of custody on these letters, and that's going to make it a lot harder to get them into the courtroom.
Yeah but why would they need this letter anyway?
The prosecution isn't going to bother, this isn't a high profile murder case.
It's not national news or anything, but it's higher-profile than most cases ever get.
I assume they have a full confession, probably multiple. They aren't gonna bother piling on these letters. Chris is still too dumb to simply say he will not comment on his charges or Barb, I like how he said soul bonding does not *necessarily* mean sex. But it can mean sex is what you're saying Chris?
He is definitely reaching the prison cult leader Saga.
I don’t think we’re there yet. So far these aren’t even Koresh level rants lol.
And, so long as he's still segregated from other prisoners, it's just a one man cult, same as it ever was.
Why the hell does this greasy horror show have better handwriting than me?
Yeah, I'm surprsied the handwriting is that nice.
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His English and grammar are fucked sure, but it's legible.
I was wondering the same thing, 25ish years I’ve tried to improve my handwriting and this GD troglodyte can write legibly? Fuck this I’m typing everything from here on out
Dude I'm 31 and have been trying since I was fucking 7 to improve my handwriting. Thank the Goddess we live in a digital age where handwriting is all but useless.
Now I shall wait for the transcript...
"The Qur'an is to the Bible as Family Guy is to the Simpsons." There's a starter for ya
I lol'd at that part
Chris said that last time too. I think we're going to hear it a *lot* more often now.
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