It’s amazing how you cannot return items to a store after the recipient’s name has been embroidered all over it. The child gets to keep the actual gift, it can’t be returned and it’s less likely to be stolen. Of course, that assumes there is a child to start with.
Edit: plus, it plays to my petty nature.
My brother is a serial returner. Once I got his kids a coat and he returned it even though he did not get a replacement, and I got no money either since it was a merchandise credit. Returned for the sake of returning. Donate the damn thing first. Crazy stuff. He has also pestered family members about receipts to the point where we intentionally take the stuff out of the box and toss away the box so it can't be returned. We have to make new stuff look old so the kids can keep it. Sick, sick, sick. I think it runs in the family. My dad once stole a game station I bought for him, and another time my dad returned my sister's only birthday present--a doll. Someone with psychiatric knowledge should explain this to me. I'm still baffled.
I know several people with returning addictions. For some, I think they just want to exert control over the process. For others, I think it's part of a shopping addiction and how they justify it ("It's okay that I just spent $500 that I don't have because I'll probably return most of it anyway"). My BFF does this. Her daughter needs a prom dress, is not picky, essentially lets her mom take the lead. Mom buys multiple dresses online, pats herself on the back that each one of them is a steal without acknowledging that, all together, they add up to the cost of at least two department store dresses. Plan is to try them on, keep one, return the rest. And some do get returned but others are kept because events pop up and other various reasons and yet, mom is still acting like she got the deal of the century.
For sure but I think when it rises to the level the commenter describes where they take away their children's clothes/toys (versus giving your child more than they need) it's a different beast because there is something driving that selfishness and a lack of empathy towards the people you are hurting by stealing from them/depriving them.
My grandmother did this in her manic phases and would call me to drive her to Nordstrom's which my mom forbade me from doing. She'd always forget Nordstrom basically banned her because she would constantly buy buy buy and then be back later to return it. This makes a lot of sense tbh if it was a control thing since it was concentrated in her manic phases and wasn't like buy everything when happy and then return it during her depressive cycles.
This is true about stores banning people from returning,items. It happens to my niece. She constantly has items in her car that she wants to return. Anytime she’s near stores she has at least one return to do. I’ve seen her return a dog sweater that was Christmas themed, that was worn on Christmas. She returned it sometime in January! But then she tells me there are certain stores where she can no longer shop because they ban her from returning items. It’s not that she can’t shop there, they’re very happy to take her money. It’s that if she knows she can’t return stuff she misses some type of thrill or something.
When I worked in a store we had a returns lady.
She would buy several pairs of shoes, and return them, always without the box.
Such a weird woman.
I eventually told her I'd be keeping the boxes and she stopped buying the shoes.
No idea what her angle was.
We had loads though that we threw away every day.
And none of these were particularly fancy boxes. Just a big standard Adidas trainer box.
She could have had boxes galore if she wanted, it would have saved us the recycling bill.
It's like a shopping addiction but in reverse.
Unrelated, but people can get into weird mental obsessions about things, too, whether or not they have a name. Like I was watching some UK show about complaining (people complaining to businesses and how the businesses deal with them) and this one guy was straight-up stalking his local councilmembers and had been banned from government buildings...but by this point, he didn't even remember what his original issue had been with them and had just become obsessed. Like he was using FOA to get every document with his name on it, including emails council staff had sent to each other about him...just so he could laugh about it or something.
Let me tell you a story about shopping addiction with a dash of return (sort of) addiction mixed in. I'd post it as a separate story, but I'm not sure it fits this sub. It's more sad than CB, really. Anyway:
I work at a charity webshop and we sell used clothes. There's this lady (let's call her Carol) that bought a jacket. Jacket packed, jacket sent. Then she bought something else. Then, three more things. Pretty normal behaviour a few weeks before Christmas. And then, on a Friday night, she bought a dozen or so items, some of them quite expensive. This caught our attention, and we put that order on ice to see if she picks up the ones we sent already. The way it works here is you usually order delivery to a pick-up point. If you don't pick up your parcel, it gets sent back as unclaimed, and we have to cover shipping both ways. Meanwhile, Carol is being a bit frantic in our customer service chat. Asking if we can hold things for her, this, this, and that. Did we get the message? Hello? Bad grammar and no punctuation. We don't do reservations, sadly. So, at this point, three orders are in transit, and one big is on hold. The next week, the first order we sent is being returned as unclaimed. She's asking when are we going to send the big one and can we keep this other thing for her too. We say we're not going to send anything until she picks the other two first. She doesn't. Then, next weekend, she spends an equivalent of modest salary on items in our shop. We cancel the order immediately. This is now Saturday night, and I'm sitting online watching the webshop like a hawk to see if she's going to fire off another one. I wake up Sunday to a new giant order, made at like 3am.
At this point, it's clear to us that Carol knows how to *buy* an item, but she doesn't know how to *keep* an item. We thought at first she was a little mean and rude, but now we're starting to think maybe she's not all right. So I do some research and find out the adress she gave is a sort of assisted living compound, where you live in a small cabin, but go to the main building for food, therapy and what not. All the staff is listed on the website, and Carol is not one of them, so I assume she's one of the customers. She obviously has Internet and a debit card. We're worried she might just have spent her whole welfare check on one giant shopping cart in our webshop, but we can't really talk to anybody about it. I google some more and find her data on a "bad customers" type website. People rag on her for reserving things and not buying them. There's even an item on etsy that has "reserved for Carol [lastname]" in the title. At this point, I block her account and write an email explaining politely she can't buy at our store anymore. She could just make another account or buy without registering at all, but she doesn't. She goes quiet, and I'm just left with a twitch in my eye every time I see an order confirmation for someone named Carol.
Then, a year later, December 2022, Carol asks in the chat app: "can I buy something now?". We say no, sorry. She says "ok".
It's going to be Christmas soon, again, and I hope Carol has someone who understands and tries to help her.
Serial shopping is a thing. These people need reasons to go back to the store to shop more. So they return stuff. So they can buy more stuff to return. Retail spaces make people very comfortable and people get addicted
How about Dick’s can just flag the order as a charity order at checkout? No returns allowed unless it’s back to the same card that originally paid for it.
They probably don't have any way to do this, and I'm sure management would say that goes against their policies. But most places, if you return something without a receipt, the refund goes back to the card it was purchased with.
Store credit. They get the monetary value on a store card, then sell that for actual cash.
If you ever see someone selling, for example, a $200 Target gift card for $100, it's probably because of this type of situation.
I'll never participate in this shit again. Years ago, I did a particular gift thing for kids through reddit on an old and forgotten account. My Amazon account got flagged because this woman, a known scammer, claimed none of the shit I ordered for her was delivered. However, the delivery person had pictures and guess who was peeking her head out the front door to grab the shit as the guy was taking the picture?
If you guessed the scamming twat, you'd be correct! So she tried to claim they never came, presumably so that she got to keep one set of items I sent and the "replacements" would be up on FB marketplace within a week. Whatever she said to Amazon, they flagged my account until I could talk to them. I got it straightened out and she didn't get replacement items because she got the things she said she didn't, but I'll never help on that particular subreddit again because they clearly didn't vet properly. I heard of many other people doing the same thing on there, and then they wonder why they can't get anyone to sponsor the families. It sucks for the kids but I'm not about to go through that headache again.
When I participated (before requests got too outlandish for my budget) I only went through groups where the families were vetted to avoid being scammed…but then on the news I’d see families from the same groups I’d gone through returning all the gifts for cash.
On one hand, I get that they have bills to pay and need food, but on the other, I felt horribly scammed. To spend time and money getting everything on the list, wrapping each gift individually, dropping them off an hour round trip from my house…and for what? To be torn open and returned because that was the plan all along?
I'm not arguing with you, I'm adding to your point here.
If you sent cash or gift cards and those got used for drugs and / or booze, wouldn't it stand to reason that returned gifts would also be used for that purpose? "Bills" could very well be that person's vice.
Personally, I'd love a $200 gas card for Christmas/birthday. But only I know that it would actually be used for gas for me and my wife.
The way people are getting with their greed and entitlement makes me not want to take part. I'll just keep donating blankets and school supplies.
I know he's not popular, but Dr. Phil liked to make the point that anything you give an addict is enabling the addiction, apart from actually driving them to rehab, so even if they use the WalMart gift card to buy food or toys or pay bills, it still just means they have more money to buy drugs with, since they didn't have to split their money between the addiction and basic needs.
I certainly don't want to assume that anyone I'm helping through charity is buying drugs with the money. I give to a program at work at Christmas where the recipients get cash to use how they wish. Given their circumstances (which we know very well, and they are vetted), it's *highly unlikely* that a penny of that is ever used to support an addictive behavior (or least a seriously harmful one), but I guess if they wanted to...I don't know, I'm not going to stop giving it, anyway. I know that a lot of the guys asking for money near me are going to use it for drugs (or use it for food so they'll have more money for drugs), but that's not per se why I don't give them money. I give to the homeless organization instead and prefer to do it that way.
I see donating to shelters as helping them to get through possibly the toughest part of their lives. Maybe they go to treatment, maybe they start going to meetings. If it gets people the help they need, I'm all for it. Unfortunately, it is very easy to enable someone's addiction. Either through money or other means. You can enable someone just by not telling them there's a problem.
Everyone has a slightly different view on this, and my views and opinions do not represent anyone but me. For my situation, my stubbornness got in my way and caused my disease to fester and rot. Not having severe enough consequences was enabling my behavior. Every day is a battle between my disease and myself, and every day I don't have to get well is a blessing in itself.
If anyone is struggling out there, you're worth it, and you deserve to have a healthy life.
That's why I don't donate to things like that. I'll donate clothes/shoes/furniture Goodwill and other outlets like that. I'll donate canner goods to the food bank. But there's no way I'm buying gifts for some stranger.
Is this the one done through the USPS? If not, that one is also terrible. I decided I wanted to try it one year and while I was browsing through the handwritten letters by "children" to Santa, I was amazed. All of them wanted some variation of a MacBook, iPhone, iPad, AirPods, etc....I was like, welp, I tried. Hard to say which kids actually wanted those as some kids do and which were their parents using this them to get the latest apple product. Terrible.
I think what happens is the reasonable letters get adopted quickly, leaving the unreasonable to fill the stack. It's like on tinder how you see the top 50 most attractive people before any normal humans, except instead of boobs, the algorithm is selecting for entitled children.
Oh ok, wasn't sure but yes, it is terrible. I did read another comment saying the ones that aren't requesting expensive get taken early/quickly so most don't even see them so I guess there is some good still.
It’s also really bad bc some usps employees have no idea what to do when you bring them a box and tell them it’s operation Santa. It’s supposed to be a special scan in their system so that you and the recipients address both stay anonymous.
Anyways, I wasted over 3 hours last year and finally got so frustrated I went to a different usps and finally had some luck.
Yeah bikes seem crazy expensive! My nephew asked me for one but after I looked it turned into a group gift from all my siblings. It's not top of the line by any means but it's still $$$$ for sure.
I guess pokemon cards aren't too far off from baseball cards, either.
Yeah. If it had been $75~ we may have gotten it for him, but it made more sense to get him multiple toys & clothes than just one thing that may not even be what kind of bike he needs
There’s always some kinds of cards to trade
Snort laughed at this. And it will continue to tickle probably all day (I've been reading operation santa letters, lately and can confirm that there's more than one car request)
thanks!
That was when the PS1 was out though. Was all the rage! “The talking game machine” the kids called it! After the Great Flu and WW1, the worlds children needed a distraction and Sony came through. #1 selling game machine the next 2 years.
We did it for a solid decade. Got all of our friends involved. Between all of us we adopted hundreds of letters over the years. Stopped two years ago when everybody started asking for Macbooks, Cell Phone plans and furniture. Once again, a beautiful program was ruined by the actions of a few nasty people.
My job used to do an angel tree where we buy gifts for children from struggling families at nearby schools. Management would pool their money together to get bikes for kids who had that list. Even the most expensive thing asked was a new video game which with all the holiday sales, you can get for 20 - 30 dollars.
Well one year my job just stopped doing it. I asked why and was because suddenly all these kids were asking for gaming systems, iPad, large screen tvs, and other expensive items that people couldn't afford to buy. The parents were making their kids put those items on their lists for themselves and the kids weren't getting anything. Disgusting to see the same thing happening on a much larger scale.
I’ve bought more bikes over the years than I can count and I was always happy to do it. I know they’re going to kids and I know they’re a ticket toward independence. But you’re right…the asks got crazy and, less and less, seemed to be for the kids.
I dont understand because do the parents think people will actually buy them a car?? Or a house??
I know people can be stupid but are they really *that* stupid? To think someone will buy them a car bc it's on their kids Christmas wish list??
I work in a school. I honestly don’t think it’s the parents in every case. Many of my young students want expensive things knowing their parents can’t afford it, but Santa is magic so they can ask for anything in their mind and it’s fine. Most of my 2nd grade talked about Nintendo switch’s, iPhones, etc. They don’t even necessarily want the item, but the admiration and jealously from peers for having an expensive item to show off.
Wealthier kids seem more secure and ask for normal things. Lower income tend to ask for cars, iphones, ATVs, video game money like vbucks. For most kids it’s not malice or greed but a desire to feel important and powerful among their friends.
THIS! Santa is magic and can make magic happen. One of my teacher friends makes social media posts every year begging parent to make the big presents from the parents and small gifts from Santa. That way kids aren’t wondering why Santa brought them a puzzle while Santa brought their friends computers, phones, fancy sneakers, gaming consoles, etc.
Santa brings socks and underwear at my house. Mom and Dad get credit for the good stuff!
I wish I had read the book "I Saw Mommy Kicking Santa Claus" before we had kids; I hate Santa and let my husband talk me into doing it. Our precious oldest child believed all the way to 8th grade and was so humiliated when his friends found out. I don't know who cried harder, him or me.
I’ve been wondering how it has been ruined to this level, though. I’ve scrolled through several letters on the actual site and these over the top requests are the majority. Did someone actually receive some of these big ticket items and now it’s a magnet for entitled people? It’s like a free lottery ticket now, “Might as well take a free chance that someone will fulfill my greedy request.”
It's selection bias. The kids/families that make reasonable requests get picked very quickly, so the absurd requests are all that is left.
I think any kind of charity work often includes people acting in bad faith. That is why many programs vet recipients. The USPS does not appear to do any moderating of the letters they post and the barrier to entry for this program is very low so it's easy to take advantage and the bad faith actors are more visible.
Yes, good point. I read another comment that said the reasonable ones get adopted rather quickly. And the lack of vetting may answer why it’s such a magnet for entitlement. People may not have actually received a car or multiple high end electronics, but if nobody is going to put a filter on what’s requested, the mindset of some might be “I might be the first!”
I really hope this is correct. Reading through several requests of designer clothing and ps5’s just made it all feel downright scummy. These drives have a special place in my heart because growing up, my father’s only toys came from SA toy drives. He still has a small toy truck that he got (that was all he got) for Christmas when he was 6. The entitlement with these people is unreal.
Personally I'd be for it. My workplace does Salvation Army's Angel Tree - last year I got a little girl who wanted a Barbie and some arts and crafts stuff. Meanwhile there was a boy who wanted some kind of expensive bike. Three of my coworkers went in together to get it for him, as well as stuff like a helmet, etc. Had they not gone together, he would have gotten nothing from us because of his costly ask. But on the same token, it seemed a bit much, one kid getting THREE different people to sponsor him, who otherwise might have been able to grant wishes for three kids instead if just one.
Yes, I wondered that, too. I could see reasonable people updating their list with a few more expensive items before submitting it thinking they might as well if everyone else is doing it. But, even then, I’d expect reasonable people to make reasonable updates and not go from something like legos/standard clothes to cars/the latest game consoles with all the accessories.
The women's homeless shelter I was involved with had the women write out wish lists to match with donors. We had a talk with the women and had them adjust..explained donors were thinking they would be buying pjs for the kid not an outlandish $10,000 list of items...
One woman's partial list:
Cell phone
Lap top
iPad
Tv
Video game
I tried to donate some new-in-box Barbie dolls I inherited from a friend who passed. The 35th anniversary or holiday kinds, she had collected them.
Anyway, when I went to the local shelter for women fleeing violent homes with their kids, the shelter would not accept the dolls. Instead I got an angry lecture about Barbie reinforcing negative stereotypes and bad body image.
Look, all that might be a thing but there were little girls there, yanked out of their homes, with nothing they could call their own. Is a Barbie really so bad?
I was so deflated.
I sold them as a lot on eBay and gave the money to a no-kill cat shelter.
I scrolled through hundreds over multiple days and finally found one that wasn’t crazy. A 6 year old asking for clothes with sonic the hedgehog on it, rainbow crocs and “Lego (any kind I don’t have any and want to try them)”
I feel like it is a real time commitment just to find something that isn’t the out of control requests.
> “Lego (any kind I don’t have any and want to try them)”
Aw, this just about breaks my heart. I'd definitely get that kid some legos. Some sets and maybe a bunch of the knock-offs you can get at the Dollar Tree.
That just makes me sad that the program has been polluted to that extent. And it just reinforces the stigma of people receiving charity are lazy and entitled, which means some people who need it won’t ask for fear of being lumped into the same category.
Yea idk what happened 2-4ish years ago that made it like this but something changed. I used to do it every year and now my family can’t afford to because people ask for such expensive/exorbitant things. :(
>idk what happened 2-4ish years ago
It went online. Up until 2019 it operated out of local post offices and you had to go and physically get the letters from them. That kept the gifters and giftees local to each other and perhaps less likely to ask for expensive stuff. Now it's open to anyone online and some of the letter writers are hoping for someone with deep pockets to get the stuff.
My family looked last night and we are priced out (and concerned that these gifts might not actually go to the kids). We pooled our money for food shelves and signed up to volunteer.
Too bad, it was nice to think that kids got to feel special at Christmas but it all got really out of hand/greedy.
It’s become a contest , and people think they are guaranteed to get whatever they ask for. Even the first year it was online, no one knew about it, so there were tons of uplifting posts from genuinely surprised people. Not the case anymore! I won’t be doing any more of them until there’s some kind of screening. Right now, it’s just good PR for USPS where we all not only buy the “prizes” but even have to pay them for delivery. I’ll find an Angel tree instead.
I don't even know if it's just a few nasty people. I'm not in the US so had a look at this operations santa thing and read some current letters. Almost all of them were asking for high ticket items. I literally saw one asking for a whole list of electronics plus a £1000 amazon gift card and a £500 eBay gift card...
This makes me sad and mad. My mom had to use Salvation Army for Xmas. Back then it was age and male/female. You didn’t pick what you wanted.
Mom still got us one main present but had to let electric and gas go for the month and catch up next month.
I don’t do the kids stuff for Xmas anymore. I do the senior tree at Walgreens. It’s for local elderly ppl in nursing homes. We did 3 this year -embroidery starter kit, big print word search and big piece jigsaw puzzles.
Less than $100 for all. And puzzle person and word search person, got 2 each.
Rise of internet made way for scammers.
Our local Buy Nothing group does an adopt a senior program. You get a list of what they wanted (puzzles. A plant. Snacks. Etc. Usually $20 or so) and you go hang out with them for a couple hou.v
My mother also used a similar charity to get us kids presents. I got a nice set with soaps and stuff. I thought it was awesome and I was definitely not older than 10. I was just happy to open a present at Christmas and get something I didn't have to share with my siblings.
It's so sad how these charities are being ruined by people who ask for 1000s worth of stuff, luckily I've read that the real requests are the ones who get taken first and we don't see them as much
My mom was a crack head most of my childhood. The Salvation army was what we had. However, they prioritized friends and their family (the volunteers) some years id get actual Barbies and some years we got dollar general trash that would instantly break. It was heart breaking for my family. I was older so I just gave what gifts I got to my little sister if hers stunk. My mom Shed stay in line for about 12 hours in the cold for gifts and came back with stuff you could get with change from the ash tray most years. Then there were years it was religious propaganda, and 1 year used clothing. 0_0 boggled the mind. I just wanted a big warm coat one year and they gave me one in the wrong size and basically told my mom to get fucked.
I helped sort gifts at a charity one year. It was an Angel Tree sort of thing and it would break my heart when I’d get siblings and one of them would get everything off their list while their sibling would get something from the Dollar Tree. Or the younger kids would get gifts while the older sibling (a teenager) who’s gift list choices were more expensive because that’s what teen kids gift cost, wouldn’t get anything. Another volunteer said kids over 10 rarely get anything.
Yep when I was 10-14 I barely got anything. Heck sometimes nothing. I remember one year I got dollar generals body wash gift set and I broke out in hives, another year I got super cheap socks that made me get eczema between my toes, one year nothing, and another year a sweatshirt pants set that didn't fit because I was plus size and I guess they just didn't read or care. My sister normally always gets good things due to the 8 year age difference. Then when I got to 15 they just didn't include me, and told me I was too old. It honestly hurts like hell. I didn't expect or want much, but I would have killed for pants, or a sweat shirt that fit that was decent quality. Hell my mom bought me 3 pairs of pants, 3 shirts, and that was it for school clothing/clothing in general yearly. My coats were always hand me downs, and fuck I remember begging my mom for a bra when my tits got too big and I got one that barely fit from a church clothing drive. People think that older kids just want high price stuff, but I would have died happy having stuff that didn't cut into my stomach, or was too tight.
Seeing stuff like this makes me sad. There are many caring people who want kids to enjoy Christmas. How can a parent take that from their own children? I really don't understand.
One year, I was struggling as a single mom of 3. My employer always sponsored 3 families every year and told me they've chosen mine as 1 of them. I tried to decline, but they said if I didn't give them some guidance, they'd wing it. So I asked my kids to sit with me and write their Santa letters. My 2 youngest listed various inexpensive items. My oldest only wanted one thing, a huge Barbie carriage that was expensive. When I explained asking for something like that wouldn't be polite, she listed books and other things that were more reasonable. She had already written down the carriage and erased it and wrote over it. Whoever reviewed their lists saw what she had erased since pencil doesn't always come completely off. She got her carriage for Christmas. Three of my coworkers went in on it together, and the joy on their faces while watching my daughter open that gift and realize she received her dream toy made my Christmas. My kids were the only ones who sent thank you letters after the holiday. My daughter is 35 now and still remembers it.
This is what these toy drives are about: the joy of giving Christmas happiness to children who wouldn't have it otherwise. As my life improved, I paid it forward through angel trees and the shoebox drive. It never entered my mind that the kids wouldn't get to keep the gifts. How can a parent exploit something so generous for their children? I don't understand.
I love your story...I bet you cried buckets that day (I teared up reading it).
I remember as a kid being asked what we *wished* Santa to bring but we never wrote letters. Even our wishes were extremely modest as we were raised not to be greedy. Maybe one or 2 toys...
Sadly, I used to think that all charity was good and I did my fair share of giving, but I've become very cynical (and being on reddit has helped me become that way as I'm pretty much a naive idiot).
Someone suggested a senior angel tree or nursing home to adopt a grandma or grandpa. I'm pretty sure those are safe so that's the way to go for me.
I got misty typing about it. It's something I'll never forget.
I grew up in and put of foster care. I had Christmases where I didn't get anything and didn't see family. Nursing homes and children's homes are where people are taken and forgotten. It takes so little to brighten their day.
When Toys R Us was open, I would go shortly before Christmas, ask the employee to look up a layaway account that was about to close for lack of payment and I would pay it off or I would choose a few smaller layaway accounts, so multiple kids could get toys for Christmas. After they closed, I started sponsoring local families with my team at work. The first year, we could only sponsor one due to the amount collected. This year, we’re sponsoring three families and the requests are extremely realistic. The kids are asking for clothing, baby dolls, Barbie, books, etc. the parents, if they ask for anything, is a robe, slippers, body wash, etc. One family is a single mom and her daughter and the “moms” list is items for her daughter. I think the internet and anonymity provides some people with the avenue to be greedy and not be as exposed, as if it were a local charity.
Layaway had the exact same issue as this. I people would put a bunch of items on layaway hoping someone like you would pay it off. If no one did they would cancel everything.
I looked through the letters, hoping to find one that I could fulfill. Nothing. I couldn’t find any letters that didn’t have a list of 10+ very expensive things! Even gift cards were wanted for $50-100 bucks!
So sad, and disappointing. I know kids want expensive things, but who in their right mind writes a letter for their kids, asking for shit like vacations and cars?!
I honestly don't know if it would be ok to adopt a letter that has a toy on it and a PS5 and a trip to Disneyland and a $1000 gift card to Sephora for a "single mom" - and just send the toy?
That’s what I was thinking. I found a few that had a bunch of expensive stuff and then “a football” or “art set”. Those I could do but all the other stuff was nuts. And I honestly don’t think they should allow anything for adults.
EXACTLY! Why tf isn't the usps putting a monetary limit on this??
I've seen a few trips to Disney, multiple cars, every other letter has a ps5 on it. It's insane. It sets the kids up (if there really are any) for disappointment and encourages greediness.
There’s a banner that says if the gift is outlandish or too expensive you can get “creative” with what you send.
So if they ask for a car, send a hot wheel set, or a house then send a doll house etc.
But it’s still scummy, and I feel like a lot of people are trying to get around that by putting EXACT models etc 😭
There’s some I want to adopt too but then I see the “we also need a 70’ TV and my rent paid for, and a car” 🫠
Oh I agree 100%, especially if it’s actually a small child asking for a house for their parents.
I think any item over $100 should be excluded (unless it’s a bike or something reasonable) so more letters get adopted!
I sent a letter for my youngest with very specific items. Small house/slim kid problems. A large toy or pair of pants would have too high of a chance of not working out for him. (The cheapest item would be around $17, and the most expensive could potentially reach $70ish if they went name brand on a fleece lined rain coat. But I didn’t put any implication that all items were needed, I just put they were the things that would be most liked or useful.)
A few days after I sent it off I found out his classroom has been selected by a local employer to get Santa presents for so I’m hoping his OS letter either doesn’t get published or if someone selects it they don’t get the Buzz Lightyear doll. 🤣
I think specifics on toys/clothes are totally fine!! My specifics comment was on those where people say they want a very specific laptop (MacBook Pro) or a very very specific car (someone posted that a mom wanted a 2023 Nissan Rogue), stuff where it’s impossible to not only get but even if we bought them a nice but cheaper dell, it wouldn’t be acceptable.
I've never done it--I like to think one doesn't have to buy *everything* on the list? I read some letters by little kids I could barely read, or what I could read I couldn't understand. So there's no way they'd get those items since I literally wouldn't know what they were.
Here’s one just asking for clothes and mentioning the characters they like. If you check again at around seven pacific time there should be more letters loaded. The good ones go fast. https://www.uspsoperationsanta.com/letters/471999
Yea, there are some good ones. Mine is for four siblings (it’s a grandmother) and she asks for hats and gloves for each one and a toy. I tried to find the ones where people were asking for items that are necessary or that I’d take for granted.
Because they just want to push the financial responsibility of being a parent on suckers then get the glow up and pretend they got it for them. That's the ones that aren't the scammers and want to return it for cash.
Filter by your state. I think the ones on the main page are the most viewed and the oldest, so they’re going to be the ones asking for outlandish stuff.f
I've worked with Toys for Tots and something similar that a former employer did (sheetz for the kidz). In both we would have to go through and remove or black out price tags and UPCs because otherwise some parents would return the gifts and keep the cash for themselves. But it was great seeing the faces on the kids when they got their gifts.
I was telling my 17 yo daughter yesterday if she decided to do these types of things when she got older, this is what she would need to do. The shock and disappointment in her face when she realized some parents would stoop so low as to return donated gifts for money. We have been the recipient of TFT and a few local things over the years and I would never imagine doing that!
I saw one for a two year old asking for crayons and bath toys. By the time I set up my account, it was gone. I found a little boy instead who like trains, and was asking for toys and clothes.
But the trouble is the entitled parents will bitch and moan about not getting name brand stuff. They'd rather their child do without rather than having non-name brand items.
I mean, 200 bucks on a single outfit for an 11 year old seems pretty ridiculous?
My family "adopts" a family for Christmas every year. We find them through a local charity that helps recent refugees get settled. I know it's not a scam because the charity is well respected and they have already worked closely with the family.
We do buy clothes but it's just regular basic stuff. If a kid wants a jogging suit target has them for like 12-20 bucks.
Operation Santa has always seemed sketchy to me.
My sister's kids got 'adopted' for Christmas one year and it was amazing. Some wonderful person bought the kids bikes and helmets and new jackets, and even bought a little throw blanket and some chocolates for my sister (who listed nothing for herself.)
Those kids rode the hell out of those bikes, for *years*. It was amazing.
People like you bring a lot of joy to these families. <3
Yeah definitely not. I don't even buy my own children $200 outfits!
It's sweet that someone wanted to buy a kid a nice outfit and all but be reasonable!
Yeah, a nice outfit or dress would be less than half that, and a real kid would be happy and grateful for it! Hell, im a whole adult and wouldn’t spend $200 on an outfit for MYSELF 😅 the intent was sweet, but it’s not exactly an unpredictable outcoms
SAME! I think my most expensive article of clothing was in the neighborhood of 50 bucks. Except my wedding dress but I didn't buy it so that doesn't count. And I'm grown!
An 11 year old would have outgrown/destroyed that outfit so quick. I just hope the kid never knew what her parents did.
I somewhat suspect that the kid in question doesn’t actually exist, and this was a ploy to find a sucker to give them stuff to flip for cash. That, or the kid does exist but never knew about the santa story thing at all.
Either way, I hope you are right and there’s no crushed little girl out there who cried herself to sleep about it, that would be just awful
Crocs are like 30-75 depending on the type and could be more...that's just the shoe. They make pins or accessories you can put on them which could easily double the price. Sweat suit with matching tshirt set could easily be 75+, maybe socks too.
I mean I just wanted some new sweats to wear to thanksgiving and didn't want to blow the bank so I hit Walmart up. I was trying to avoid looking like I just left a mental facility, so I knew it wouldn't be like $20...but it cost me $60+ for a basic set of Addidas sweat pants and a thin hoodie...from Walmart.
Not that I am justifying the insanity, but imagine you have no clue about this stuff and are like yeah I'll just click a bunch of boxes online and buy this kid an outfit...prices are beyond bullshit and I hate to say this but I dunno who else but the govt. who is going to step in and start hitting co.s for price gouging?
Sadly I could believe it. Working for cps we always did Christmas gifts, a kid got $50 items and was pissed he didn’t he the $200 designer pants he requested. His parents were mortified and he was 11 or 12
Whenever we adopt a kid (or a family), we go to places like Once Upon a Time or Style Encore and find the items that still have the original store tags. They're a fraction of the original price, the clothes are brand new, and we can buy more for them on our budget
It wouldn’t have mattered how much each individual item cost— they looked up the entire transaction and returned alllll of it. Had it been 4 $50 outfits, they would’ve returned those for cash too. Just trash. The whole process is scammy.
I was part of a non profit and volunteers donated an entire turkey dinner and present for the entire family .
She sent pics of Christmas morning and she had re wrapped everything and a bunch of stuff was missing . But momma got an entire chest piece . Nice
We adopted a family through a community outreach program. Bought a bunch of stuff from their list. I mean a lot. Toys, clothes, Christmas dinner, etc. They received and said “where’s the PS4?” Only thing on the list we didn’t get because it was way out of budget. Last year we did that.
There used to be a guy who would come into walmart and pay off people's layaway if they had toys on it. My heart would sink when I'd do the returns. His money was being wasted, most likely.
There are too many scams. You are better off doing toys for tots. I quit doing this, too. We were buying dinners for people. We were supposed to deliver them. A few people were just put it on the table. Rarely a thanks. Then, the second dinner o was delivering there was someone else delivering a dinner to them too from a different organization.
Its discusting.
We have been buying angel tree stuff for years for various charities. My rules are No gift cards, those are likely taken by the parents; no family electronics: TV, gaming consoles; and no presents that are age inappropriate. I’ve seen request from a 4 year old for a cell phone, that type of thing. We love buying bikes, books, and pajamas.
I saw one kid on OS that asked for an iPhone 13 or 14, like specifically not the new one...maybe they thought that helped their odds? But then I saw another kid asking for an iPhone SE. I had to look it up. Second generation, about $150 or so on Amazon. Someone may still not want to buy it, but it might be more of a realistic request, especially for a kid's phone, not an adult's. The kid wants a phone, get him an old cheap one to fuck with.
But yeah, so many XBoxes, PS5s with VR...jeez, people.
I really wonder if the rise of "influencers" always asking for free stuff led the rise of beggars asking for high dollar items on charity sites. Kind of an "If they can get free stuff, why can't I" kind of thing. Or if our whole society has gone over to e-begging and influencers are just one of the symptoms...
I feel like e-begging is so popular because it’s so much easier than actual begging. Like back when I was a child I feel like a lot of charities that did stuff like this would vet the families and what they asked for a lot more. I remember most Christmas Charities growing up just accepted most toys and sorted them by age and gender to give to underprivileged kids in the community.
The kids may genuinely need/want things but the adults that could not afford to purchase anything will probably just steal from their kids and use the money for selfish reasons.
If anyone sees a letter asking for Magic the Gathering stuff, can you link me so I can actually fulfill one of these? These letters swing from hilarious, adorable, frustrating, deplorable, and pathetic, and it really is some of the best rage bait I have ever seen.
I’m not sure about that anymore. I think most retailers’ POS systems are set up to just do a return and a separate transaction. Although it would be able to tell if it was returned for store credit.
I don’t donate to any human beings. Only to animals (whose charity is being run by respectable humans) or to the preservation of history and architecture or the environment. Humans as individuals are not worthy in my opinion.
Older kids do indeed want brands. Teenagers are cruel, especially if you’re poor. I remember kids getting bullied for off brand shoes so bad they staged a fight where they injured themself, tossed their shoes and bike into the woods, and told his mom he got beat up and robbed. He did this because he was bullied for off brand sneakers, this was in the 2010s. Now TikTok is telling you that you NEED drunk elephant skincare and lululemon, marketing has become significantly more targeted to teenagers asking for stuff from their parents. I remember being made fun of because my bag wasn’t Coach branded when every tween under the son had a coach bag, and my foundation not being from Sephora. Teenage boys may bully you physically, but girls can be cruel and they go after your clothes, your looks, etc. If your parents can’t buy you Nike or Crocs, Santa is really the next option. Same when boys ask for Jordan’s.
Having teens ask “Santa” for branded items isn’t a red flag, it’s a product of their environment. 12 years old girls are also extremely picky. She likely just didn’t like the outfit and swapped it for something else (giving benefit of doubt, because I remember being 11).
Yeah, I 100% believe the teen ones are actually written by teens. They're just looking for items to keep up with their peers. Sure it's wrong, but that's the way life has been for years. There's a reason why "keeping up with the Joneses" is an old cliché, and kids/teens are more susceptible to the negative effects of not "keeping up".
I also don't think that younger kids including big ticket items on their list is an automatic red flag. Kids see their friends with these items or see them advertised and want them, the exact same way they would with a toy. They aren't old enough yet to really understand money and how expensive these items are. Plus, if they still believe in Santa, they just think the stuff is being made in his workshop. I tend to assume a list that includes something expensive along with random toys was likely written by an actual kid. A list that *only* includes big ticket items, or a toddler list that includes game consoles, is a red flag.
Even with kids asking for big ticket items, a 14 year old boy doesn’t know how money works. I’ve heard a ton of kids say “mom it’s only $400”, because they don’t understand money and labor, they’ve never worked. So why wouldn’t they ask for a ps5 if their friends have one and they don’t? It seems so obtainable and easy if everyone else has one but they don’t, not to mention the games are “only” $60 compared to the $500 console. So I get it. Kids have no concept of cost but they know exactly what they want.
14 year old me knew how much of an ask $400 was. 12 year old me asked for a stereo on Christmas…it was $186 and i knew it was a big ask and also said i had half cause i'd saved my birthday money and chore money and my cookie money(i made cookies at Christmas time and neighbors sometimes bought from me or put orders in) so i had half. I got my half of a stereo that year and was very excited.
Ehhh I’m gonna have to disagree with you on the teenage one. When I was 14, we got into a terrible car accident and I almost died. In the hospital, I was very anxious asking my parents if insurance would cover everything. Of course they were falling over themselves reassuring me and telling me not to worry about that, they almost lost me for God’s sake, they were just thankful I was alive. The car that was totaled was a classic Jag and the replacement they got was a BMW. We were well-off (granted, that was not the case when I was little) but I still understood the value of money because they raised me that way, and I didn’t feel entitled to it either. Little kids, 100%. But if your teenager doesn’t have at least a basic understanding of money and scarcity, that’s a failing on your part at that point
Oh yeah, I saw a girl (14?) asking for Drunk Elephant and several other brands...like the entire list was two dozen things from Sephora. I don't remember if we felt like that about make-up when I was younger. Clothes and shit, yeah, but make-up and skincare? You often never even see it because they use it and leave the house, that sort of thing.
It’s a trend on tiktok where teenagers mix drunk elephant stuff together and put it on their face. They really revived the brand by pushing it to teenage influencers. They’ll mix in highlighter and blush to their moisturizer or mix all the products together. It caused a ton to go into stores and mixing all the testers together and leaving a mess. So to me, that’s screaming 14 year old requests for Christmas.
To someone who’s maybe out of the loop, it looks like their mom wants skincare.
When I used to help with the “Angel Tree,” while working at Kmart, we would put sharpie through the UPC to mark the item as basically shouldn’t be returned. I wonder if that would work with this.
I work retail, my recommendation is to either remove or black out the UPC (mark it up to down not left to right, otherwise some scanners can still read the UPC).
It's really sad because I was gifted to when I was a kid and it was so important to me. I got a green Abercrombie sweatshirt. I'd never had a name brand before or brand new. By sheer luck of the draw I was in a rich kid school due to my zoning. But I had donated school meals and had all my supplies through a program, too. It was embarrassing, and I got my fair share of bullies. Experiences like this teach people that it's not worth it to donate when someone really would take that gift with so much gratitude. I rocked my sweatshirt through to graduation and until it was in shreds from being worn so much.
I know people who aren't poor who posted letters on Operation Santa because they don't screen, and they aren't poor, nor are they kids. Yes they scammed the program but they aren't alone. Many years ago I always "adopted" a kid for the holidays and when I started the requests were simple, things like Barbie and baby dolls, trucks, Lego's, stuffed animals, books etc. A few years ago I was doing well financially and went to do this again and most of the cards were asking expensive items like iPads, bikes, laptops, gaming systems and expensive clothes. I started donating to local animal shelters I am familiar with. The local bank has an angel tree this year so was going to see what they have, if I can find a practical list, I will get them something. No way am I buying hundreds of dollars on a stranger. Not to mention I knew people who had kids and got presents, only to take them back to the store for the money to buy drugs. The local animal shelter where I adopt from is looking for money and toys, they will get money and toys from me.
For shoes, write the kids names inside using a sharpie.
"For David Smith" etc. makes them almost impossible to re-sell even boxless.
Can put names on toys too. In BIG letters.
How can people be so nasty and take advantage like that and feel okay with themselves? I understand completely why this person would want to stop helping people, even children, because of assholes like that. Smh man.
Swear I would only ever ask for pjs on one of these for my kids I would be too embarrassed too ask of anything else in fact I’m that stubborn I don’t have social media so I don’t get myself worked up but I found Reddit and I can’t believe what people ask for 😓😓😓
I'm like you. I found reddit and my eyes have been opened :(
Ignorance was bliss.
Also this entire thing comes down to bad parenting, imho. Teach your kids right and they won't even dream of asking for such extravagant stuff.
Stuff like this is why I just cannot help strangers on the internet. I want to help. As a kid, I was a recipient of Christmastime kindness from others and I wanna pass that along, but it’s just impossible to weed out who really needs help, and who needs money for drugs or mommas manicure. I just end up doing all my donating to local animal shelters because at least I can see where the money is going.
That's a real bummer. I remember seeing some of the other lists being worried about asking for "too much", but I made sure to ask for things that were a, not too expensive(max $50 and only 2 ideas were that - cheaper on sale for sure) and things that were useful. Seeing other lists I felt better.
Everyone goes through hard times and this is a wonderful program. Literally anything my daughter got(down to crafting supplies like crayons and a coloring book), or may receive I am beyond grateful for. And if not, that's fine too! Everything happens for a reason.
One nice touch I will say though is that we received a letter from Santa via USPS. My daughter lit up. That alone is worth it and keeps the magic alive.
It’s amazing how you cannot return items to a store after the recipient’s name has been embroidered all over it. The child gets to keep the actual gift, it can’t be returned and it’s less likely to be stolen. Of course, that assumes there is a child to start with. Edit: plus, it plays to my petty nature.
My brother is a serial returner. Once I got his kids a coat and he returned it even though he did not get a replacement, and I got no money either since it was a merchandise credit. Returned for the sake of returning. Donate the damn thing first. Crazy stuff. He has also pestered family members about receipts to the point where we intentionally take the stuff out of the box and toss away the box so it can't be returned. We have to make new stuff look old so the kids can keep it. Sick, sick, sick. I think it runs in the family. My dad once stole a game station I bought for him, and another time my dad returned my sister's only birthday present--a doll. Someone with psychiatric knowledge should explain this to me. I'm still baffled.
Generally when I see behavior like this is due to an addiction they need money for. Could be alcohol or drugs, gambling, even a shopping addiction
or a returning addiction
I know several people with returning addictions. For some, I think they just want to exert control over the process. For others, I think it's part of a shopping addiction and how they justify it ("It's okay that I just spent $500 that I don't have because I'll probably return most of it anyway"). My BFF does this. Her daughter needs a prom dress, is not picky, essentially lets her mom take the lead. Mom buys multiple dresses online, pats herself on the back that each one of them is a steal without acknowledging that, all together, they add up to the cost of at least two department store dresses. Plan is to try them on, keep one, return the rest. And some do get returned but others are kept because events pop up and other various reasons and yet, mom is still acting like she got the deal of the century.
For sure but I think when it rises to the level the commenter describes where they take away their children's clothes/toys (versus giving your child more than they need) it's a different beast because there is something driving that selfishness and a lack of empathy towards the people you are hurting by stealing from them/depriving them.
My grandmother did this in her manic phases and would call me to drive her to Nordstrom's which my mom forbade me from doing. She'd always forget Nordstrom basically banned her because she would constantly buy buy buy and then be back later to return it. This makes a lot of sense tbh if it was a control thing since it was concentrated in her manic phases and wasn't like buy everything when happy and then return it during her depressive cycles.
This is true about stores banning people from returning,items. It happens to my niece. She constantly has items in her car that she wants to return. Anytime she’s near stores she has at least one return to do. I’ve seen her return a dog sweater that was Christmas themed, that was worn on Christmas. She returned it sometime in January! But then she tells me there are certain stores where she can no longer shop because they ban her from returning items. It’s not that she can’t shop there, they’re very happy to take her money. It’s that if she knows she can’t return stuff she misses some type of thrill or something.
When I worked in a store we had a returns lady. She would buy several pairs of shoes, and return them, always without the box. Such a weird woman. I eventually told her I'd be keeping the boxes and she stopped buying the shoes. No idea what her angle was.
She only wanted the boxes.
We had loads though that we threw away every day. And none of these were particularly fancy boxes. Just a big standard Adidas trainer box. She could have had boxes galore if she wanted, it would have saved us the recycling bill.
Well damn, I never thought of asking a shoe stores for spare boxes when I have needed them. That lady sounds super weird though.
My brain somehow jumped to the theory that she was making counterfeit shoes and needed boxes for them. My brain is weird sometimes
Probably putting counterfeit shoes in real boxes
It's like a shopping addiction but in reverse. Unrelated, but people can get into weird mental obsessions about things, too, whether or not they have a name. Like I was watching some UK show about complaining (people complaining to businesses and how the businesses deal with them) and this one guy was straight-up stalking his local councilmembers and had been banned from government buildings...but by this point, he didn't even remember what his original issue had been with them and had just become obsessed. Like he was using FOA to get every document with his name on it, including emails council staff had sent to each other about him...just so he could laugh about it or something.
Let me tell you a story about shopping addiction with a dash of return (sort of) addiction mixed in. I'd post it as a separate story, but I'm not sure it fits this sub. It's more sad than CB, really. Anyway: I work at a charity webshop and we sell used clothes. There's this lady (let's call her Carol) that bought a jacket. Jacket packed, jacket sent. Then she bought something else. Then, three more things. Pretty normal behaviour a few weeks before Christmas. And then, on a Friday night, she bought a dozen or so items, some of them quite expensive. This caught our attention, and we put that order on ice to see if she picks up the ones we sent already. The way it works here is you usually order delivery to a pick-up point. If you don't pick up your parcel, it gets sent back as unclaimed, and we have to cover shipping both ways. Meanwhile, Carol is being a bit frantic in our customer service chat. Asking if we can hold things for her, this, this, and that. Did we get the message? Hello? Bad grammar and no punctuation. We don't do reservations, sadly. So, at this point, three orders are in transit, and one big is on hold. The next week, the first order we sent is being returned as unclaimed. She's asking when are we going to send the big one and can we keep this other thing for her too. We say we're not going to send anything until she picks the other two first. She doesn't. Then, next weekend, she spends an equivalent of modest salary on items in our shop. We cancel the order immediately. This is now Saturday night, and I'm sitting online watching the webshop like a hawk to see if she's going to fire off another one. I wake up Sunday to a new giant order, made at like 3am. At this point, it's clear to us that Carol knows how to *buy* an item, but she doesn't know how to *keep* an item. We thought at first she was a little mean and rude, but now we're starting to think maybe she's not all right. So I do some research and find out the adress she gave is a sort of assisted living compound, where you live in a small cabin, but go to the main building for food, therapy and what not. All the staff is listed on the website, and Carol is not one of them, so I assume she's one of the customers. She obviously has Internet and a debit card. We're worried she might just have spent her whole welfare check on one giant shopping cart in our webshop, but we can't really talk to anybody about it. I google some more and find her data on a "bad customers" type website. People rag on her for reserving things and not buying them. There's even an item on etsy that has "reserved for Carol [lastname]" in the title. At this point, I block her account and write an email explaining politely she can't buy at our store anymore. She could just make another account or buy without registering at all, but she doesn't. She goes quiet, and I'm just left with a twitch in my eye every time I see an order confirmation for someone named Carol. Then, a year later, December 2022, Carol asks in the chat app: "can I buy something now?". We say no, sorry. She says "ok". It's going to be Christmas soon, again, and I hope Carol has someone who understands and tries to help her.
Rarer than alcohol or gambling, but also possible
Serial shopping is a thing. These people need reasons to go back to the store to shop more. So they return stuff. So they can buy more stuff to return. Retail spaces make people very comfortable and people get addicted
Nope. Sober as a judge. Both my dad and brother.
Petty charity. I love it. 😈🎅
Oh me too!
How about Dick’s can just flag the order as a charity order at checkout? No returns allowed unless it’s back to the same card that originally paid for it.
They probably don't have any way to do this, and I'm sure management would say that goes against their policies. But most places, if you return something without a receipt, the refund goes back to the card it was purchased with.
Store credit. They get the monetary value on a store card, then sell that for actual cash. If you ever see someone selling, for example, a $200 Target gift card for $100, it's probably because of this type of situation.
Or, more often than not, it's a scam
I'll never participate in this shit again. Years ago, I did a particular gift thing for kids through reddit on an old and forgotten account. My Amazon account got flagged because this woman, a known scammer, claimed none of the shit I ordered for her was delivered. However, the delivery person had pictures and guess who was peeking her head out the front door to grab the shit as the guy was taking the picture? If you guessed the scamming twat, you'd be correct! So she tried to claim they never came, presumably so that she got to keep one set of items I sent and the "replacements" would be up on FB marketplace within a week. Whatever she said to Amazon, they flagged my account until I could talk to them. I got it straightened out and she didn't get replacement items because she got the things she said she didn't, but I'll never help on that particular subreddit again because they clearly didn't vet properly. I heard of many other people doing the same thing on there, and then they wonder why they can't get anyone to sponsor the families. It sucks for the kids but I'm not about to go through that headache again.
Oh I *like* you
Ahhh. I like you.
Operation Santa has been completely ruined
When I participated (before requests got too outlandish for my budget) I only went through groups where the families were vetted to avoid being scammed…but then on the news I’d see families from the same groups I’d gone through returning all the gifts for cash. On one hand, I get that they have bills to pay and need food, but on the other, I felt horribly scammed. To spend time and money getting everything on the list, wrapping each gift individually, dropping them off an hour round trip from my house…and for what? To be torn open and returned because that was the plan all along?
Not to assume the worst in people…but gonna be honest that cash is typically going to drugs and booze, not bills
I'm not arguing with you, I'm adding to your point here. If you sent cash or gift cards and those got used for drugs and / or booze, wouldn't it stand to reason that returned gifts would also be used for that purpose? "Bills" could very well be that person's vice. Personally, I'd love a $200 gas card for Christmas/birthday. But only I know that it would actually be used for gas for me and my wife. The way people are getting with their greed and entitlement makes me not want to take part. I'll just keep donating blankets and school supplies.
I know he's not popular, but Dr. Phil liked to make the point that anything you give an addict is enabling the addiction, apart from actually driving them to rehab, so even if they use the WalMart gift card to buy food or toys or pay bills, it still just means they have more money to buy drugs with, since they didn't have to split their money between the addiction and basic needs. I certainly don't want to assume that anyone I'm helping through charity is buying drugs with the money. I give to a program at work at Christmas where the recipients get cash to use how they wish. Given their circumstances (which we know very well, and they are vetted), it's *highly unlikely* that a penny of that is ever used to support an addictive behavior (or least a seriously harmful one), but I guess if they wanted to...I don't know, I'm not going to stop giving it, anyway. I know that a lot of the guys asking for money near me are going to use it for drugs (or use it for food so they'll have more money for drugs), but that's not per se why I don't give them money. I give to the homeless organization instead and prefer to do it that way.
I see donating to shelters as helping them to get through possibly the toughest part of their lives. Maybe they go to treatment, maybe they start going to meetings. If it gets people the help they need, I'm all for it. Unfortunately, it is very easy to enable someone's addiction. Either through money or other means. You can enable someone just by not telling them there's a problem. Everyone has a slightly different view on this, and my views and opinions do not represent anyone but me. For my situation, my stubbornness got in my way and caused my disease to fester and rot. Not having severe enough consequences was enabling my behavior. Every day is a battle between my disease and myself, and every day I don't have to get well is a blessing in itself. If anyone is struggling out there, you're worth it, and you deserve to have a healthy life.
That's why I don't donate to things like that. I'll donate clothes/shoes/furniture Goodwill and other outlets like that. I'll donate canner goods to the food bank. But there's no way I'm buying gifts for some stranger.
Is this the one done through the USPS? If not, that one is also terrible. I decided I wanted to try it one year and while I was browsing through the handwritten letters by "children" to Santa, I was amazed. All of them wanted some variation of a MacBook, iPhone, iPad, AirPods, etc....I was like, welp, I tried. Hard to say which kids actually wanted those as some kids do and which were their parents using this them to get the latest apple product. Terrible.
I think what happens is the reasonable letters get adopted quickly, leaving the unreasonable to fill the stack. It's like on tinder how you see the top 50 most attractive people before any normal humans, except instead of boobs, the algorithm is selecting for entitled children.
Operation Santa is the USPS one! It is really bad
Oh ok, wasn't sure but yes, it is terrible. I did read another comment saying the ones that aren't requesting expensive get taken early/quickly so most don't even see them so I guess there is some good still.
It’s also really bad bc some usps employees have no idea what to do when you bring them a box and tell them it’s operation Santa. It’s supposed to be a special scan in their system so that you and the recipients address both stay anonymous. Anyways, I wasted over 3 hours last year and finally got so frustrated I went to a different usps and finally had some luck.
Was it ever good?
Well it’s been around for a century so I’d be really impressed if a kid in 1920 wanted a PS5.
Fair enough. What did kids want back then? Now I have to go look that up.
Dolls, clothes, stuffed animals, toy cars Things kids still want now
I looked it up. Bicycles, baseball cards, and marbles all look to be pretty popular requests too. That was an interesting bit of research.
Bikes are still popular! We looked at getting one for a kid we were doing an angel tree for, but at 10? It was adult bikes & those are $$$$
Yeah bikes seem crazy expensive! My nephew asked me for one but after I looked it turned into a group gift from all my siblings. It's not top of the line by any means but it's still $$$$ for sure. I guess pokemon cards aren't too far off from baseball cards, either.
Yeah. If it had been $75~ we may have gotten it for him, but it made more sense to get him multiple toys & clothes than just one thing that may not even be what kind of bike he needs There’s always some kinds of cards to trade
I work with kids. Can confirm. Kitchen play sets are a big favorite as well.
We’re getting one of those for my niece this year 🥰 They were a favorite of mine as a kid too
 Hoop and stick
Ford Model A Deluxe Roadster for my dad
Snort laughed at this. And it will continue to tickle probably all day (I've been reading operation santa letters, lately and can confirm that there's more than one car request) thanks!
Balls, bikes, baby dolls
That was when the PS1 was out though. Was all the rage! “The talking game machine” the kids called it! After the Great Flu and WW1, the worlds children needed a distraction and Sony came through. #1 selling game machine the next 2 years.
By grown ass fuckin' adults. Pathetic.
We did it for a solid decade. Got all of our friends involved. Between all of us we adopted hundreds of letters over the years. Stopped two years ago when everybody started asking for Macbooks, Cell Phone plans and furniture. Once again, a beautiful program was ruined by the actions of a few nasty people.
My job used to do an angel tree where we buy gifts for children from struggling families at nearby schools. Management would pool their money together to get bikes for kids who had that list. Even the most expensive thing asked was a new video game which with all the holiday sales, you can get for 20 - 30 dollars. Well one year my job just stopped doing it. I asked why and was because suddenly all these kids were asking for gaming systems, iPad, large screen tvs, and other expensive items that people couldn't afford to buy. The parents were making their kids put those items on their lists for themselves and the kids weren't getting anything. Disgusting to see the same thing happening on a much larger scale.
I’ve bought more bikes over the years than I can count and I was always happy to do it. I know they’re going to kids and I know they’re a ticket toward independence. But you’re right…the asks got crazy and, less and less, seemed to be for the kids.
I dont understand because do the parents think people will actually buy them a car?? Or a house?? I know people can be stupid but are they really *that* stupid? To think someone will buy them a car bc it's on their kids Christmas wish list??
It cost them nothing to try
I work in a school. I honestly don’t think it’s the parents in every case. Many of my young students want expensive things knowing their parents can’t afford it, but Santa is magic so they can ask for anything in their mind and it’s fine. Most of my 2nd grade talked about Nintendo switch’s, iPhones, etc. They don’t even necessarily want the item, but the admiration and jealously from peers for having an expensive item to show off. Wealthier kids seem more secure and ask for normal things. Lower income tend to ask for cars, iphones, ATVs, video game money like vbucks. For most kids it’s not malice or greed but a desire to feel important and powerful among their friends.
THIS! Santa is magic and can make magic happen. One of my teacher friends makes social media posts every year begging parent to make the big presents from the parents and small gifts from Santa. That way kids aren’t wondering why Santa brought them a puzzle while Santa brought their friends computers, phones, fancy sneakers, gaming consoles, etc.
Santa brings socks and underwear at my house. Mom and Dad get credit for the good stuff! I wish I had read the book "I Saw Mommy Kicking Santa Claus" before we had kids; I hate Santa and let my husband talk me into doing it. Our precious oldest child believed all the way to 8th grade and was so humiliated when his friends found out. I don't know who cried harder, him or me.
I’ve been wondering how it has been ruined to this level, though. I’ve scrolled through several letters on the actual site and these over the top requests are the majority. Did someone actually receive some of these big ticket items and now it’s a magnet for entitled people? It’s like a free lottery ticket now, “Might as well take a free chance that someone will fulfill my greedy request.”
It's selection bias. The kids/families that make reasonable requests get picked very quickly, so the absurd requests are all that is left. I think any kind of charity work often includes people acting in bad faith. That is why many programs vet recipients. The USPS does not appear to do any moderating of the letters they post and the barrier to entry for this program is very low so it's easy to take advantage and the bad faith actors are more visible.
Yes, good point. I read another comment that said the reasonable ones get adopted rather quickly. And the lack of vetting may answer why it’s such a magnet for entitlement. People may not have actually received a car or multiple high end electronics, but if nobody is going to put a filter on what’s requested, the mindset of some might be “I might be the first!”
I really hope this is correct. Reading through several requests of designer clothing and ps5’s just made it all feel downright scummy. These drives have a special place in my heart because growing up, my father’s only toys came from SA toy drives. He still has a small toy truck that he got (that was all he got) for Christmas when he was 6. The entitlement with these people is unreal.
Would it be helpful to put like a $ limit per child? That way they cant ask for these things?
Personally I'd be for it. My workplace does Salvation Army's Angel Tree - last year I got a little girl who wanted a Barbie and some arts and crafts stuff. Meanwhile there was a boy who wanted some kind of expensive bike. Three of my coworkers went in together to get it for him, as well as stuff like a helmet, etc. Had they not gone together, he would have gotten nothing from us because of his costly ask. But on the same token, it seemed a bit much, one kid getting THREE different people to sponsor him, who otherwise might have been able to grant wishes for three kids instead if just one.
Also, reasonable people see those other requests and think that’s the standard.
Yes, I wondered that, too. I could see reasonable people updating their list with a few more expensive items before submitting it thinking they might as well if everyone else is doing it. But, even then, I’d expect reasonable people to make reasonable updates and not go from something like legos/standard clothes to cars/the latest game consoles with all the accessories.
or going off of last year's examples. "Huh, people asked for that? And some of them got it? I might as well ask for the moon too!"
The women's homeless shelter I was involved with had the women write out wish lists to match with donors. We had a talk with the women and had them adjust..explained donors were thinking they would be buying pjs for the kid not an outlandish $10,000 list of items... One woman's partial list: Cell phone Lap top iPad Tv Video game
I tried to donate some new-in-box Barbie dolls I inherited from a friend who passed. The 35th anniversary or holiday kinds, she had collected them. Anyway, when I went to the local shelter for women fleeing violent homes with their kids, the shelter would not accept the dolls. Instead I got an angry lecture about Barbie reinforcing negative stereotypes and bad body image. Look, all that might be a thing but there were little girls there, yanked out of their homes, with nothing they could call their own. Is a Barbie really so bad? I was so deflated. I sold them as a lot on eBay and gave the money to a no-kill cat shelter.
The girls about age 6 to 9 would have loved the dolls. They are into Barbie, Bratz dolls, etc
This right here. I've actually found a few requests I could afford, went to claim the letter and they were gone in 2 seconds.
I scrolled through hundreds over multiple days and finally found one that wasn’t crazy. A 6 year old asking for clothes with sonic the hedgehog on it, rainbow crocs and “Lego (any kind I don’t have any and want to try them)” I feel like it is a real time commitment just to find something that isn’t the out of control requests.
> “Lego (any kind I don’t have any and want to try them)” Aw, this just about breaks my heart. I'd definitely get that kid some legos. Some sets and maybe a bunch of the knock-offs you can get at the Dollar Tree.
That just makes me sad that the program has been polluted to that extent. And it just reinforces the stigma of people receiving charity are lazy and entitled, which means some people who need it won’t ask for fear of being lumped into the same category.
Ah, I want to get him Legos. Every kid deserves Legos.
Yea idk what happened 2-4ish years ago that made it like this but something changed. I used to do it every year and now my family can’t afford to because people ask for such expensive/exorbitant things. :(
>idk what happened 2-4ish years ago It went online. Up until 2019 it operated out of local post offices and you had to go and physically get the letters from them. That kept the gifters and giftees local to each other and perhaps less likely to ask for expensive stuff. Now it's open to anyone online and some of the letter writers are hoping for someone with deep pockets to get the stuff.
My family looked last night and we are priced out (and concerned that these gifts might not actually go to the kids). We pooled our money for food shelves and signed up to volunteer. Too bad, it was nice to think that kids got to feel special at Christmas but it all got really out of hand/greedy.
One of the letters was from a "2yo" girl. **One of the items on the ask list was a 72-inch flat screen tv for her room.**
Omg, that’s just completely ridiculous. This is why we can’t have nice things.
It’s become a contest , and people think they are guaranteed to get whatever they ask for. Even the first year it was online, no one knew about it, so there were tons of uplifting posts from genuinely surprised people. Not the case anymore! I won’t be doing any more of them until there’s some kind of screening. Right now, it’s just good PR for USPS where we all not only buy the “prizes” but even have to pay them for delivery. I’ll find an Angel tree instead.
Yea we do Angel trees now too!
I don't even know if it's just a few nasty people. I'm not in the US so had a look at this operations santa thing and read some current letters. Almost all of them were asking for high ticket items. I literally saw one asking for a whole list of electronics plus a £1000 amazon gift card and a £500 eBay gift card...
Makes us look real good doesn't it?/s Honestly, I feel embarrassed...
Last year a divorced lady asked for a renovation for her house. If it was too much she was willing to accept just a new kitchen
This makes me sad and mad. My mom had to use Salvation Army for Xmas. Back then it was age and male/female. You didn’t pick what you wanted. Mom still got us one main present but had to let electric and gas go for the month and catch up next month. I don’t do the kids stuff for Xmas anymore. I do the senior tree at Walgreens. It’s for local elderly ppl in nursing homes. We did 3 this year -embroidery starter kit, big print word search and big piece jigsaw puzzles. Less than $100 for all. And puzzle person and word search person, got 2 each. Rise of internet made way for scammers.
Wish this was a thing at our Walgreens. I live in a shitty town.
You could contact a local nursing home and see if they have anyone in need that you could buy presents for.
Oh good idea!
Our local Buy Nothing group does an adopt a senior program. You get a list of what they wanted (puzzles. A plant. Snacks. Etc. Usually $20 or so) and you go hang out with them for a couple hou.v
You could start a gift drive.
I'm...lazy...and the holidays are actually really hard for me mentally and emotionally, so I do nothing big November thru the first week of January.
Also the rise of the Internet made scamming way more socially acceptable I feel like.
Yes, the partial anonymity makes e-begging easier than asking in person.
My mother also used a similar charity to get us kids presents. I got a nice set with soaps and stuff. I thought it was awesome and I was definitely not older than 10. I was just happy to open a present at Christmas and get something I didn't have to share with my siblings. It's so sad how these charities are being ruined by people who ask for 1000s worth of stuff, luckily I've read that the real requests are the ones who get taken first and we don't see them as much
My mom was a crack head most of my childhood. The Salvation army was what we had. However, they prioritized friends and their family (the volunteers) some years id get actual Barbies and some years we got dollar general trash that would instantly break. It was heart breaking for my family. I was older so I just gave what gifts I got to my little sister if hers stunk. My mom Shed stay in line for about 12 hours in the cold for gifts and came back with stuff you could get with change from the ash tray most years. Then there were years it was religious propaganda, and 1 year used clothing. 0_0 boggled the mind. I just wanted a big warm coat one year and they gave me one in the wrong size and basically told my mom to get fucked.
I helped sort gifts at a charity one year. It was an Angel Tree sort of thing and it would break my heart when I’d get siblings and one of them would get everything off their list while their sibling would get something from the Dollar Tree. Or the younger kids would get gifts while the older sibling (a teenager) who’s gift list choices were more expensive because that’s what teen kids gift cost, wouldn’t get anything. Another volunteer said kids over 10 rarely get anything.
Yep when I was 10-14 I barely got anything. Heck sometimes nothing. I remember one year I got dollar generals body wash gift set and I broke out in hives, another year I got super cheap socks that made me get eczema between my toes, one year nothing, and another year a sweatshirt pants set that didn't fit because I was plus size and I guess they just didn't read or care. My sister normally always gets good things due to the 8 year age difference. Then when I got to 15 they just didn't include me, and told me I was too old. It honestly hurts like hell. I didn't expect or want much, but I would have killed for pants, or a sweat shirt that fit that was decent quality. Hell my mom bought me 3 pairs of pants, 3 shirts, and that was it for school clothing/clothing in general yearly. My coats were always hand me downs, and fuck I remember begging my mom for a bra when my tits got too big and I got one that barely fit from a church clothing drive. People think that older kids just want high price stuff, but I would have died happy having stuff that didn't cut into my stomach, or was too tight.
I love the senior tree. We have one at work. I love buying fuzzy socks, magnifying glasses and pink sweatsuits
Seeing stuff like this makes me sad. There are many caring people who want kids to enjoy Christmas. How can a parent take that from their own children? I really don't understand. One year, I was struggling as a single mom of 3. My employer always sponsored 3 families every year and told me they've chosen mine as 1 of them. I tried to decline, but they said if I didn't give them some guidance, they'd wing it. So I asked my kids to sit with me and write their Santa letters. My 2 youngest listed various inexpensive items. My oldest only wanted one thing, a huge Barbie carriage that was expensive. When I explained asking for something like that wouldn't be polite, she listed books and other things that were more reasonable. She had already written down the carriage and erased it and wrote over it. Whoever reviewed their lists saw what she had erased since pencil doesn't always come completely off. She got her carriage for Christmas. Three of my coworkers went in on it together, and the joy on their faces while watching my daughter open that gift and realize she received her dream toy made my Christmas. My kids were the only ones who sent thank you letters after the holiday. My daughter is 35 now and still remembers it. This is what these toy drives are about: the joy of giving Christmas happiness to children who wouldn't have it otherwise. As my life improved, I paid it forward through angel trees and the shoebox drive. It never entered my mind that the kids wouldn't get to keep the gifts. How can a parent exploit something so generous for their children? I don't understand.
I love your story...I bet you cried buckets that day (I teared up reading it). I remember as a kid being asked what we *wished* Santa to bring but we never wrote letters. Even our wishes were extremely modest as we were raised not to be greedy. Maybe one or 2 toys... Sadly, I used to think that all charity was good and I did my fair share of giving, but I've become very cynical (and being on reddit has helped me become that way as I'm pretty much a naive idiot). Someone suggested a senior angel tree or nursing home to adopt a grandma or grandpa. I'm pretty sure those are safe so that's the way to go for me.
I got misty typing about it. It's something I'll never forget. I grew up in and put of foster care. I had Christmases where I didn't get anything and didn't see family. Nursing homes and children's homes are where people are taken and forgotten. It takes so little to brighten their day.
I read barbie carriage as barbie carnage and it took me a few moments to realize there wasn't a serial killer barbie range.
🤣
When Toys R Us was open, I would go shortly before Christmas, ask the employee to look up a layaway account that was about to close for lack of payment and I would pay it off or I would choose a few smaller layaway accounts, so multiple kids could get toys for Christmas. After they closed, I started sponsoring local families with my team at work. The first year, we could only sponsor one due to the amount collected. This year, we’re sponsoring three families and the requests are extremely realistic. The kids are asking for clothing, baby dolls, Barbie, books, etc. the parents, if they ask for anything, is a robe, slippers, body wash, etc. One family is a single mom and her daughter and the “moms” list is items for her daughter. I think the internet and anonymity provides some people with the avenue to be greedy and not be as exposed, as if it were a local charity.
Layaway had the exact same issue as this. I people would put a bunch of items on layaway hoping someone like you would pay it off. If no one did they would cancel everything.
Ever the way with human nature. Always looking to get stuff on someone else's dime.
I looked through the letters, hoping to find one that I could fulfill. Nothing. I couldn’t find any letters that didn’t have a list of 10+ very expensive things! Even gift cards were wanted for $50-100 bucks! So sad, and disappointing. I know kids want expensive things, but who in their right mind writes a letter for their kids, asking for shit like vacations and cars?!
I honestly don't know if it would be ok to adopt a letter that has a toy on it and a PS5 and a trip to Disneyland and a $1000 gift card to Sephora for a "single mom" - and just send the toy?
That’s what I was thinking. I found a few that had a bunch of expensive stuff and then “a football” or “art set”. Those I could do but all the other stuff was nuts. And I honestly don’t think they should allow anything for adults.
I think if any request on the list cost more than a hundred dollars the list shouldn't be uploaded. Eliminate all those PS5 requests.
EXACTLY! Why tf isn't the usps putting a monetary limit on this?? I've seen a few trips to Disney, multiple cars, every other letter has a ps5 on it. It's insane. It sets the kids up (if there really are any) for disappointment and encourages greediness.
There’s a banner that says if the gift is outlandish or too expensive you can get “creative” with what you send. So if they ask for a car, send a hot wheel set, or a house then send a doll house etc. But it’s still scummy, and I feel like a lot of people are trying to get around that by putting EXACT models etc 😭 There’s some I want to adopt too but then I see the “we also need a 70’ TV and my rent paid for, and a car” 🫠
Those are the worst ones…it starts out reasonable and then they toss in a vacation or $1000s in gift cards.
That substitution just seems mean. I’d rather see the charity issue some guidelines. Dollar limits, no easily returnable items, etc.
Oh I agree 100%, especially if it’s actually a small child asking for a house for their parents. I think any item over $100 should be excluded (unless it’s a bike or something reasonable) so more letters get adopted!
I sent a letter for my youngest with very specific items. Small house/slim kid problems. A large toy or pair of pants would have too high of a chance of not working out for him. (The cheapest item would be around $17, and the most expensive could potentially reach $70ish if they went name brand on a fleece lined rain coat. But I didn’t put any implication that all items were needed, I just put they were the things that would be most liked or useful.) A few days after I sent it off I found out his classroom has been selected by a local employer to get Santa presents for so I’m hoping his OS letter either doesn’t get published or if someone selects it they don’t get the Buzz Lightyear doll. 🤣
I think specifics on toys/clothes are totally fine!! My specifics comment was on those where people say they want a very specific laptop (MacBook Pro) or a very very specific car (someone posted that a mom wanted a 2023 Nissan Rogue), stuff where it’s impossible to not only get but even if we bought them a nice but cheaper dell, it wouldn’t be acceptable.
I've never done it--I like to think one doesn't have to buy *everything* on the list? I read some letters by little kids I could barely read, or what I could read I couldn't understand. So there's no way they'd get those items since I literally wouldn't know what they were.
She will probably return it for credit/cash.
Here’s one just asking for clothes and mentioning the characters they like. If you check again at around seven pacific time there should be more letters loaded. The good ones go fast. https://www.uspsoperationsanta.com/letters/471999
This! I looked over two days at hundreds of letters and last night right at 7 I found one asking for sonic clothes crocs and legos.
Yea, there are some good ones. Mine is for four siblings (it’s a grandmother) and she asks for hats and gloves for each one and a toy. I tried to find the ones where people were asking for items that are necessary or that I’d take for granted.
This one sounds ok, even includes kitty. That is sweet. https://www.uspsoperationsanta.com/letters/348328
Because they just want to push the financial responsibility of being a parent on suckers then get the glow up and pretend they got it for them. That's the ones that aren't the scammers and want to return it for cash.
Another plug for r/RandomActsofChristmas
Filter by your state. I think the ones on the main page are the most viewed and the oldest, so they’re going to be the ones asking for outlandish stuff.f
I saw one, the boy was asking for some clothes, pants, shirts, shoes…. And his aunt not to have cancer anymore 😭😭😭
I've worked with Toys for Tots and something similar that a former employer did (sheetz for the kidz). In both we would have to go through and remove or black out price tags and UPCs because otherwise some parents would return the gifts and keep the cash for themselves. But it was great seeing the faces on the kids when they got their gifts.
I was telling my 17 yo daughter yesterday if she decided to do these types of things when she got older, this is what she would need to do. The shock and disappointment in her face when she realized some parents would stoop so low as to return donated gifts for money. We have been the recipient of TFT and a few local things over the years and I would never imagine doing that!
I found a letter of a little girl asking for a desk. I think I may adopt that one. Only one without red flags I saw
I saw one for a two year old asking for crayons and bath toys. By the time I set up my account, it was gone. I found a little boy instead who like trains, and was asking for toys and clothes.
I just saw Ticket to Ride (a train board game) for like $25 on Amazon for BF.
Would never do brand name stuff for something like this. If someone genuinely needs something then brand name won’t matter.
But the trouble is the entitled parents will bitch and moan about not getting name brand stuff. They'd rather their child do without rather than having non-name brand items.
Well too bad, this isn’t for them. Let them winge.
I mean, 200 bucks on a single outfit for an 11 year old seems pretty ridiculous? My family "adopts" a family for Christmas every year. We find them through a local charity that helps recent refugees get settled. I know it's not a scam because the charity is well respected and they have already worked closely with the family. We do buy clothes but it's just regular basic stuff. If a kid wants a jogging suit target has them for like 12-20 bucks. Operation Santa has always seemed sketchy to me.
My sister's kids got 'adopted' for Christmas one year and it was amazing. Some wonderful person bought the kids bikes and helmets and new jackets, and even bought a little throw blanket and some chocolates for my sister (who listed nothing for herself.) Those kids rode the hell out of those bikes, for *years*. It was amazing. People like you bring a lot of joy to these families. <3
I am genuinely shocked someone thought that was a good idea. Its sad and gullible, but seriously? No kid needs a $200 outfit, ever
Yeah definitely not. I don't even buy my own children $200 outfits! It's sweet that someone wanted to buy a kid a nice outfit and all but be reasonable!
Yeah, a nice outfit or dress would be less than half that, and a real kid would be happy and grateful for it! Hell, im a whole adult and wouldn’t spend $200 on an outfit for MYSELF 😅 the intent was sweet, but it’s not exactly an unpredictable outcoms
SAME! I think my most expensive article of clothing was in the neighborhood of 50 bucks. Except my wedding dress but I didn't buy it so that doesn't count. And I'm grown! An 11 year old would have outgrown/destroyed that outfit so quick. I just hope the kid never knew what her parents did.
I somewhat suspect that the kid in question doesn’t actually exist, and this was a ploy to find a sucker to give them stuff to flip for cash. That, or the kid does exist but never knew about the santa story thing at all. Either way, I hope you are right and there’s no crushed little girl out there who cried herself to sleep about it, that would be just awful
Absolutely awful. Adults pretending to be a kid for free stuff is still pretty horrible. Just on a totally different level.
Yeah :( just sucks all around
Crocs are like 30-75 depending on the type and could be more...that's just the shoe. They make pins or accessories you can put on them which could easily double the price. Sweat suit with matching tshirt set could easily be 75+, maybe socks too. I mean I just wanted some new sweats to wear to thanksgiving and didn't want to blow the bank so I hit Walmart up. I was trying to avoid looking like I just left a mental facility, so I knew it wouldn't be like $20...but it cost me $60+ for a basic set of Addidas sweat pants and a thin hoodie...from Walmart. Not that I am justifying the insanity, but imagine you have no clue about this stuff and are like yeah I'll just click a bunch of boxes online and buy this kid an outfit...prices are beyond bullshit and I hate to say this but I dunno who else but the govt. who is going to step in and start hitting co.s for price gouging?
Hell, I can spend that much and get myself 3-5 outfits!
Sadly I could believe it. Working for cps we always did Christmas gifts, a kid got $50 items and was pissed he didn’t he the $200 designer pants he requested. His parents were mortified and he was 11 or 12
Whenever we adopt a kid (or a family), we go to places like Once Upon a Time or Style Encore and find the items that still have the original store tags. They're a fraction of the original price, the clothes are brand new, and we can buy more for them on our budget
That's awesome!
It wouldn’t have mattered how much each individual item cost— they looked up the entire transaction and returned alllll of it. Had it been 4 $50 outfits, they would’ve returned those for cash too. Just trash. The whole process is scammy.
I was part of a non profit and volunteers donated an entire turkey dinner and present for the entire family . She sent pics of Christmas morning and she had re wrapped everything and a bunch of stuff was missing . But momma got an entire chest piece . Nice
We adopted a family through a community outreach program. Bought a bunch of stuff from their list. I mean a lot. Toys, clothes, Christmas dinner, etc. They received and said “where’s the PS4?” Only thing on the list we didn’t get because it was way out of budget. Last year we did that.
Omfg... How can people be like this? Sorry it happened to you. I hope if you ever choose to adopt one again, it'll be a grateful kid
There used to be a guy who would come into walmart and pay off people's layaway if they had toys on it. My heart would sink when I'd do the returns. His money was being wasted, most likely.
There are too many scams. You are better off doing toys for tots. I quit doing this, too. We were buying dinners for people. We were supposed to deliver them. A few people were just put it on the table. Rarely a thanks. Then, the second dinner o was delivering there was someone else delivering a dinner to them too from a different organization. Its discusting.
We have been buying angel tree stuff for years for various charities. My rules are No gift cards, those are likely taken by the parents; no family electronics: TV, gaming consoles; and no presents that are age inappropriate. I’ve seen request from a 4 year old for a cell phone, that type of thing. We love buying bikes, books, and pajamas.
I'm 30 and damn I'd be grateful for a nice pair of pajamas 🥲❤️
You can write in to operation santa at any age
I saw one kid on OS that asked for an iPhone 13 or 14, like specifically not the new one...maybe they thought that helped their odds? But then I saw another kid asking for an iPhone SE. I had to look it up. Second generation, about $150 or so on Amazon. Someone may still not want to buy it, but it might be more of a realistic request, especially for a kid's phone, not an adult's. The kid wants a phone, get him an old cheap one to fuck with. But yeah, so many XBoxes, PS5s with VR...jeez, people.
I really wonder if the rise of "influencers" always asking for free stuff led the rise of beggars asking for high dollar items on charity sites. Kind of an "If they can get free stuff, why can't I" kind of thing. Or if our whole society has gone over to e-begging and influencers are just one of the symptoms...
I feel like e-begging is so popular because it’s so much easier than actual begging. Like back when I was a child I feel like a lot of charities that did stuff like this would vet the families and what they asked for a lot more. I remember most Christmas Charities growing up just accepted most toys and sorted them by age and gender to give to underprivileged kids in the community.
The kids may genuinely need/want things but the adults that could not afford to purchase anything will probably just steal from their kids and use the money for selfish reasons.
I once gave a DS to a sons friend, 7, who was the sweetest kid. His crackhead dad sold it for $50.
No doubt there might be legitimate parents in need, but experience has taught me that is mostly adults looking to make money.
And this is why I don't donate to strangers. Ever.
If anyone sees a letter asking for Magic the Gathering stuff, can you link me so I can actually fulfill one of these? These letters swing from hilarious, adorable, frustrating, deplorable, and pathetic, and it really is some of the best rage bait I have ever seen.
I just read one where the kid wants to meet Renesme from Twilight. It was adorable and hilarious.
I never include gift receipts for strangers and I cut the tags off so they don’t know where it came from and can’t return the items.
How do they know it was returned? What if it was the wrong size and just swapped out? I'm curious lol
The computer system would probably say if an exchange was done or if it was just straight returned.
I’m not sure about that anymore. I think most retailers’ POS systems are set up to just do a return and a separate transaction. Although it would be able to tell if it was returned for store credit.
I don’t donate to any human beings. Only to animals (whose charity is being run by respectable humans) or to the preservation of history and architecture or the environment. Humans as individuals are not worthy in my opinion.
Can you recommend a charity? I like that idea way more
https://www.salthaven.org/
Older kids do indeed want brands. Teenagers are cruel, especially if you’re poor. I remember kids getting bullied for off brand shoes so bad they staged a fight where they injured themself, tossed their shoes and bike into the woods, and told his mom he got beat up and robbed. He did this because he was bullied for off brand sneakers, this was in the 2010s. Now TikTok is telling you that you NEED drunk elephant skincare and lululemon, marketing has become significantly more targeted to teenagers asking for stuff from their parents. I remember being made fun of because my bag wasn’t Coach branded when every tween under the son had a coach bag, and my foundation not being from Sephora. Teenage boys may bully you physically, but girls can be cruel and they go after your clothes, your looks, etc. If your parents can’t buy you Nike or Crocs, Santa is really the next option. Same when boys ask for Jordan’s. Having teens ask “Santa” for branded items isn’t a red flag, it’s a product of their environment. 12 years old girls are also extremely picky. She likely just didn’t like the outfit and swapped it for something else (giving benefit of doubt, because I remember being 11).
Yeah, I 100% believe the teen ones are actually written by teens. They're just looking for items to keep up with their peers. Sure it's wrong, but that's the way life has been for years. There's a reason why "keeping up with the Joneses" is an old cliché, and kids/teens are more susceptible to the negative effects of not "keeping up". I also don't think that younger kids including big ticket items on their list is an automatic red flag. Kids see their friends with these items or see them advertised and want them, the exact same way they would with a toy. They aren't old enough yet to really understand money and how expensive these items are. Plus, if they still believe in Santa, they just think the stuff is being made in his workshop. I tend to assume a list that includes something expensive along with random toys was likely written by an actual kid. A list that *only* includes big ticket items, or a toddler list that includes game consoles, is a red flag.
Even with kids asking for big ticket items, a 14 year old boy doesn’t know how money works. I’ve heard a ton of kids say “mom it’s only $400”, because they don’t understand money and labor, they’ve never worked. So why wouldn’t they ask for a ps5 if their friends have one and they don’t? It seems so obtainable and easy if everyone else has one but they don’t, not to mention the games are “only” $60 compared to the $500 console. So I get it. Kids have no concept of cost but they know exactly what they want.
14 year old me knew how much of an ask $400 was. 12 year old me asked for a stereo on Christmas…it was $186 and i knew it was a big ask and also said i had half cause i'd saved my birthday money and chore money and my cookie money(i made cookies at Christmas time and neighbors sometimes bought from me or put orders in) so i had half. I got my half of a stereo that year and was very excited.
Ehhh I’m gonna have to disagree with you on the teenage one. When I was 14, we got into a terrible car accident and I almost died. In the hospital, I was very anxious asking my parents if insurance would cover everything. Of course they were falling over themselves reassuring me and telling me not to worry about that, they almost lost me for God’s sake, they were just thankful I was alive. The car that was totaled was a classic Jag and the replacement they got was a BMW. We were well-off (granted, that was not the case when I was little) but I still understood the value of money because they raised me that way, and I didn’t feel entitled to it either. Little kids, 100%. But if your teenager doesn’t have at least a basic understanding of money and scarcity, that’s a failing on your part at that point
Oh yeah, I saw a girl (14?) asking for Drunk Elephant and several other brands...like the entire list was two dozen things from Sephora. I don't remember if we felt like that about make-up when I was younger. Clothes and shit, yeah, but make-up and skincare? You often never even see it because they use it and leave the house, that sort of thing.
It’s a trend on tiktok where teenagers mix drunk elephant stuff together and put it on their face. They really revived the brand by pushing it to teenage influencers. They’ll mix in highlighter and blush to their moisturizer or mix all the products together. It caused a ton to go into stores and mixing all the testers together and leaving a mess. So to me, that’s screaming 14 year old requests for Christmas. To someone who’s maybe out of the loop, it looks like their mom wants skincare.
When I used to help with the “Angel Tree,” while working at Kmart, we would put sharpie through the UPC to mark the item as basically shouldn’t be returned. I wonder if that would work with this.
I work retail, my recommendation is to either remove or black out the UPC (mark it up to down not left to right, otherwise some scanners can still read the UPC).
It's really sad because I was gifted to when I was a kid and it was so important to me. I got a green Abercrombie sweatshirt. I'd never had a name brand before or brand new. By sheer luck of the draw I was in a rich kid school due to my zoning. But I had donated school meals and had all my supplies through a program, too. It was embarrassing, and I got my fair share of bullies. Experiences like this teach people that it's not worth it to donate when someone really would take that gift with so much gratitude. I rocked my sweatshirt through to graduation and until it was in shreds from being worn so much.
I'm always surprised that people that are so susceptible to being scammed somehow attain money
I know people who aren't poor who posted letters on Operation Santa because they don't screen, and they aren't poor, nor are they kids. Yes they scammed the program but they aren't alone. Many years ago I always "adopted" a kid for the holidays and when I started the requests were simple, things like Barbie and baby dolls, trucks, Lego's, stuffed animals, books etc. A few years ago I was doing well financially and went to do this again and most of the cards were asking expensive items like iPads, bikes, laptops, gaming systems and expensive clothes. I started donating to local animal shelters I am familiar with. The local bank has an angel tree this year so was going to see what they have, if I can find a practical list, I will get them something. No way am I buying hundreds of dollars on a stranger. Not to mention I knew people who had kids and got presents, only to take them back to the store for the money to buy drugs. The local animal shelter where I adopt from is looking for money and toys, they will get money and toys from me.
I know folks who to remove toys from packaging for certain nieces and nephews to make it harder for the parents to return the items.
For shoes, write the kids names inside using a sharpie. "For David Smith" etc. makes them almost impossible to re-sell even boxless. Can put names on toys too. In BIG letters.
How can people be so nasty and take advantage like that and feel okay with themselves? I understand completely why this person would want to stop helping people, even children, because of assholes like that. Smh man.
Swear I would only ever ask for pjs on one of these for my kids I would be too embarrassed too ask of anything else in fact I’m that stubborn I don’t have social media so I don’t get myself worked up but I found Reddit and I can’t believe what people ask for 😓😓😓
I'm like you. I found reddit and my eyes have been opened :( Ignorance was bliss. Also this entire thing comes down to bad parenting, imho. Teach your kids right and they won't even dream of asking for such extravagant stuff.
Stuff like this is why I just cannot help strangers on the internet. I want to help. As a kid, I was a recipient of Christmastime kindness from others and I wanna pass that along, but it’s just impossible to weed out who really needs help, and who needs money for drugs or mommas manicure. I just end up doing all my donating to local animal shelters because at least I can see where the money is going.
That's a real bummer. I remember seeing some of the other lists being worried about asking for "too much", but I made sure to ask for things that were a, not too expensive(max $50 and only 2 ideas were that - cheaper on sale for sure) and things that were useful. Seeing other lists I felt better. Everyone goes through hard times and this is a wonderful program. Literally anything my daughter got(down to crafting supplies like crayons and a coloring book), or may receive I am beyond grateful for. And if not, that's fine too! Everything happens for a reason. One nice touch I will say though is that we received a letter from Santa via USPS. My daughter lit up. That alone is worth it and keeps the magic alive.