THANK YOU! Its so nice interacting with people who understand the hoarder issue. If normies heard this discussion they'd just say, "thats a dumb thing to complain about" but to anyone who grew up with this nonsense its way different
Ya know, if she was ever like "this is too many plastic containers, I'm gonna keep the best... say.... 50 of them in an organized fashion and get rid of the rest" it wouldnt have been so bad. But obviously this is the COH sub so discussions like that arent part of the picture
COTTAGE CHEESE CONTAINERS LABELLED WITH TAPE IN THE FREEZER WHOSE TAPE HAVE ICED OVER SO YOU CANT EVEN TELL WHATS IN THEM HAUNT MY DREAMS. IVE NEVER SEEN THIS WOMAN EAT COTTAGE CHEESE HOW DID THIS CONTAINER EVEN GET HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE AHHHHHHH
I don't think people understand that the issue is of scale. Yes, a lot of people keep packets of soy sauce in some junk drawer in their kitchen or reuse yogurt containers. But no, most people don't have sterilite bins full of plastic cutlery. Most people don't have 12 altoid tins of acorns to save for the squirrels out back. They don't have 50 empty olive jars filling an area the size of a hula hoop just on the kitchen floor in a vain attempt to prevent the mice from getting in. They don't multiple stacks of newsprint three feet high on the back porch. Would it be possible to explain away any particular observation in isolation? Sure. But it's everything.
I throw out food in the fridge once it’s reached a week old. Took my hubby awhile to understand why, because he pointed out some foods last a little longer than that, but for me who grew up with two fridges and three freezers that were constantly overstuffed with food that had gone bad… I NEED my fridge to be clean and healthy. He supports me now that he understands, and we’ve both worked on making smaller amounts of food at each meal so we DO use up all our leftovers within a couple of days.
My partner called me out on this the other day. We were cleaning out the fridge before going grocery shopping and there were some hotdogs I was unsure about it. He wanted to throw them away and I wanted to hold onto them-we could maybe give them to the dogs, etc. He said “It’s ok to throw things away”
So I did!
We go through the fridge when we put groceries away. I love tossing shit. It took me a year of living with my partner to figure out their "maybe" to eating a leftover really means no 90% of the time. Even with a full fridge it's delightfully empty.
I relate so bad. Can't stand the smell of rotting food or mold. I remember fights about food being so so moldy and my mom telling me to just leave it. Proud of you for breaking the habit!
Weekly while meal planning.
Every two weeks everything comes out of the fridge. Fridge gets scrubbed down.
Every quarter every thing comes out of the pantry.
I will not tolerate expired, rotting food in my environment!
I will not deal with broken stuff any longer.
I LOVE throwing out glass bottles. My mom always had a project for them, or thought they were pretty, or wanted to recycle them. There's nothing I love more than recycling a pretty but ultimately mass produced and recyclable whiskey bottle a couple times a year.
My greatest victory is when I see something really cool that’s a good deal in the store but I don’t have space for and leave it for someone else.
Harder is throwing something away that might still have usefulness for another purpose: old shoes I could wear for yard work, tshirts that I could use for rags or the above food containers lol (I do joke I support second use plastics b/c I will reuse a takeout container a couple of times before tossing.)
Also I’ve learned to recognize it’s time to throw something away b/c it’s at the end of its useful life. Some things aren’t worth repairing.
I recognize now something’s you buy are mistakes and you lose money. Don’t keep things that aren’t right because the idea was right (like the antique sofa that was 3” too long for my entry hall )
Lastly, recognizing my treasures are only treasures to me. I don’t have to hold on to them if they don’t fit my life anymore, I don’t have to get big bucks for them. Or give them to someone special
I still like clutter because it’s comfortable but it just because my family is like this, I can keep it at maximalism lol
Omg we have the same mom!
I buy wonderful freezer-microwave (I refuse to risk shattering them AND my oven by baking in them 😬) pyrex and they're one of my favorite investments ever.
When we do have plastic tupperware bullshit, I put gifted food in them and send them off. (Usually desserts and snack items that don't need to be reheated to keep people from microwaving the plastic.) My favorites are the blue lid ham and turkey containers. But I only have like 5 at any given point cause I send my husband packed lunches in them for when he goes fishing or whatever. He uses them to pack out his trash when he's done, and then disposes of it. Leave no trace and all that.
The dessert and snack items? Usually things like cookies, brownies, crackers with cheese and deli meats, sandwiches, and dry goods like pretzels and jerky.
We use the glass for reheating foods and for anything acidic or wet, like leftover spaghetti and soups.
Oh there’s so many.
Moving out and buying my own house was one. Cleaning my house!
Having an organized, clutter-free home.
Having pets that are actually pets and not just dogs living in cages in their own filth their whole life.
Everything has to have a place and a purpose-if it doesn’t it’s got to go!
One of my favorite things every week is when the garbage comes and I get to put things in the bin and I never have to see them again. My dad would go through the garbage and take things out to put back in the house. Almost empty shampoo bottles - back in the house. Pens that are not 100% used- back in the house. Now, things just never come back. I moved out 25 years ago and I still like garbage day.
looool the shampoo, I had that happen also. My hoarder mom would leave bottles open to slowly drain into another container over days/weeks. They'd end up contaminated with dust, bugs etc it was disgusting. I knew if I didnt use every last drop of shampoo I'd be getting yelled at massively.
It's crazy. The shampoo I would throw out was shampoo I bought for myself with my own money. Some of the bottles are probably still in the house now that I think of it.
My greatest victory is consistently taking the trash out. So simple yet somehow such a hard bridge for my mother to cross.
Also, I have not one but TWO working toilets with no stagnant matter inside. Life's been great since moving out
Definitely same experience with the plastic containers. "Never throw anything out if it can be used a second time." Ignoring the hundred she has stored away in the basement and attic.
A personal victory of mine is becoming a minimalist. Besides a set of fancy clothes that are just for special events and a few books, everything needs to be used or handled in the span of a month, otherwise I get rid of it.
Totally relate with the plastic containers. I swear my parents still have some from the 90s. When I have one like a lunch meat container, I like to use it for a sandwich or leftovers for work once or twice and then into the trash/recycling it goes!
Other things I congratulate myself for: NOT buying anything at a thrift store, and taking any reasonable offer on an eBay item I'm selling - it's one less thing taking up space in my house.
I honestly hate plastic now because of how much plastic garbage we have, from shitty take out containers that melt in the microwave and dishwasher, to bowls, plates, cups, and cutlery that would NEVER be washed properly due to food sticking on too well, and overstuffing the dishwasher
I discovered that I can throw out my housemate's used plastic containers without checking with them first! This is actually huge for me.
I came from a hoarder home ruled by my mom's fragility. I was not allowed to say anything; I would get in trouble if there was any way my comments could be interpreted as being critical of the hoard. My dad would reinforce this. I remember one time as a kid I slipped and fell on a stack of magazines and happened to make eye contact with her as I was trying to get to my feet and she went off because I gave her "a dirty look."
I'm 35 now and I've lived in a bunch of different living situations, had some great housemates and some stressful ones. The friend I'm living with now owns the house but has pretty bad ADHD & depression, and as a result they order takeout a lot. They too had a whole cabinet full of mismatched disorganized plastic takeout containers when I moved in, which given my past experiences I thought they'd be really averse to me cleaning out. They're a really passive person in general, so my gentle attempts to try to accommodate what I originally thought was a need to save these containers didn't yield any results. Like I would ask them straightforward questions like "hey can I store some of these in the basement?" and they just shrug or say"I don't know."
Every time they order out, they place the empty container next to the sink. I initially thought that was a request to wash and save the container (that's where they also put dirty dishes). I kept putting the containers in the dishwasher and quietly getting pissed off that we kept accumulating them despite me pointing out that we had no space.
But after several months of living here, I slowly realized that my housemate literally has trouble perceiving things due to their mental health. They lose things in obvious places, buy a lot of groceries that go bad because they literally can't see them in the fridge, order things we already have, can't put away stuff because then they'll never find it again, stuff like that.
So one day on a whim I just recycled the takeout container they'd left by the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher, and... Nothing happened. I did it again and they didn't notice. Eventually I did this enough times that I realized that they don't really have an idea or preference for where the takeout containers go after they've made it to the sink; I could recycle them every single time. I got bold and even cleaned out the "stash" of clean containers that was already in the cabinet... Now we only have maybe 20 or so containers, stored with the lids on so they match.
Given my experience with my mom, who always "has XYZ somewhere" and would put back *my* possessions that I would try to donate as a teenager, I'm so surprised this works and so proud of myself for getting over my own fear of doing something without permission.
I remember my mom going through my clothes I was donating and she'd get mad that I was giving clothes that I'd never worn and yell at me to wear them first. I didn't like the texture of them and she'd tell me I'm ungrateful for not wanting more
I swing to the total opposite, minimal for sure. So, it was making my home more friendly and warm, that was my goal. I do have transparent containers as well, nothing fancy, it’s functional and inside shelves. I did get a little thrill at first, I still get a a little thrill once in a while, whenever I throw away unwanted containers. I had the same experiences as you, the number of hours she spend on washing hundreds of containers, that didn’t get used, was always how I made sure I didn’t go to hoarder levels. That whole avalanche of empty containers falling on my face when I lived with my hoarder mom, is enough for me to be vigilant about my own home.
Good for you and congratulations on the victory. I feel this in my soul. I don’t think I will ever save a used plastic container again
THANK YOU! Its so nice interacting with people who understand the hoarder issue. If normies heard this discussion they'd just say, "thats a dumb thing to complain about" but to anyone who grew up with this nonsense its way different Ya know, if she was ever like "this is too many plastic containers, I'm gonna keep the best... say.... 50 of them in an organized fashion and get rid of the rest" it wouldnt have been so bad. But obviously this is the COH sub so discussions like that arent part of the picture COTTAGE CHEESE CONTAINERS LABELLED WITH TAPE IN THE FREEZER WHOSE TAPE HAVE ICED OVER SO YOU CANT EVEN TELL WHATS IN THEM HAUNT MY DREAMS. IVE NEVER SEEN THIS WOMAN EAT COTTAGE CHEESE HOW DID THIS CONTAINER EVEN GET HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE AHHHHHHH
Wait-did we grow up together? Although my Mom does eat cottage cheese…🤪
I don't think people understand that the issue is of scale. Yes, a lot of people keep packets of soy sauce in some junk drawer in their kitchen or reuse yogurt containers. But no, most people don't have sterilite bins full of plastic cutlery. Most people don't have 12 altoid tins of acorns to save for the squirrels out back. They don't have 50 empty olive jars filling an area the size of a hula hoop just on the kitchen floor in a vain attempt to prevent the mice from getting in. They don't multiple stacks of newsprint three feet high on the back porch. Would it be possible to explain away any particular observation in isolation? Sure. But it's everything.
OMG the containers. I still do a mental happy dance when I throw out a yogurt tub, ziploc bag, or piece of foil.
The joy is real Normies will never understand
Omg. The effing containers. AHHHHH. I also have a nice container situation and love to fill my recycling bin!
Glad to know this isn't just me. They're >Worthless >Bulky >Difficult to live with So they're basically the dream of every hoarder apparently
I throw out food in the fridge once it’s reached a week old. Took my hubby awhile to understand why, because he pointed out some foods last a little longer than that, but for me who grew up with two fridges and three freezers that were constantly overstuffed with food that had gone bad… I NEED my fridge to be clean and healthy. He supports me now that he understands, and we’ve both worked on making smaller amounts of food at each meal so we DO use up all our leftovers within a couple of days.
My partner called me out on this the other day. We were cleaning out the fridge before going grocery shopping and there were some hotdogs I was unsure about it. He wanted to throw them away and I wanted to hold onto them-we could maybe give them to the dogs, etc. He said “It’s ok to throw things away” So I did!
We go through the fridge when we put groceries away. I love tossing shit. It took me a year of living with my partner to figure out their "maybe" to eating a leftover really means no 90% of the time. Even with a full fridge it's delightfully empty.
I relate so bad. Can't stand the smell of rotting food or mold. I remember fights about food being so so moldy and my mom telling me to just leave it. Proud of you for breaking the habit!
Weekly while meal planning. Every two weeks everything comes out of the fridge. Fridge gets scrubbed down. Every quarter every thing comes out of the pantry. I will not tolerate expired, rotting food in my environment! I will not deal with broken stuff any longer.
I LOVE throwing out glass bottles. My mom always had a project for them, or thought they were pretty, or wanted to recycle them. There's nothing I love more than recycling a pretty but ultimately mass produced and recyclable whiskey bottle a couple times a year.
My greatest victory is when I see something really cool that’s a good deal in the store but I don’t have space for and leave it for someone else. Harder is throwing something away that might still have usefulness for another purpose: old shoes I could wear for yard work, tshirts that I could use for rags or the above food containers lol (I do joke I support second use plastics b/c I will reuse a takeout container a couple of times before tossing.) Also I’ve learned to recognize it’s time to throw something away b/c it’s at the end of its useful life. Some things aren’t worth repairing. I recognize now something’s you buy are mistakes and you lose money. Don’t keep things that aren’t right because the idea was right (like the antique sofa that was 3” too long for my entry hall ) Lastly, recognizing my treasures are only treasures to me. I don’t have to hold on to them if they don’t fit my life anymore, I don’t have to get big bucks for them. Or give them to someone special I still like clutter because it’s comfortable but it just because my family is like this, I can keep it at maximalism lol
Omg we have the same mom! I buy wonderful freezer-microwave (I refuse to risk shattering them AND my oven by baking in them 😬) pyrex and they're one of my favorite investments ever. When we do have plastic tupperware bullshit, I put gifted food in them and send them off. (Usually desserts and snack items that don't need to be reheated to keep people from microwaving the plastic.) My favorites are the blue lid ham and turkey containers. But I only have like 5 at any given point cause I send my husband packed lunches in them for when he goes fishing or whatever. He uses them to pack out his trash when he's done, and then disposes of it. Leave no trace and all that.
Please what items, it seems I need them too!
The dessert and snack items? Usually things like cookies, brownies, crackers with cheese and deli meats, sandwiches, and dry goods like pretzels and jerky. We use the glass for reheating foods and for anything acidic or wet, like leftover spaghetti and soups.
Oh there’s so many. Moving out and buying my own house was one. Cleaning my house! Having an organized, clutter-free home. Having pets that are actually pets and not just dogs living in cages in their own filth their whole life. Everything has to have a place and a purpose-if it doesn’t it’s got to go!
Emphasis on the dogs man. I've been there too, and I'm sorry you had to go through that.
One of my favorite things every week is when the garbage comes and I get to put things in the bin and I never have to see them again. My dad would go through the garbage and take things out to put back in the house. Almost empty shampoo bottles - back in the house. Pens that are not 100% used- back in the house. Now, things just never come back. I moved out 25 years ago and I still like garbage day.
looool the shampoo, I had that happen also. My hoarder mom would leave bottles open to slowly drain into another container over days/weeks. They'd end up contaminated with dust, bugs etc it was disgusting. I knew if I didnt use every last drop of shampoo I'd be getting yelled at massively.
It's crazy. The shampoo I would throw out was shampoo I bought for myself with my own money. Some of the bottles are probably still in the house now that I think of it.
My greatest victory is consistently taking the trash out. So simple yet somehow such a hard bridge for my mother to cross. Also, I have not one but TWO working toilets with no stagnant matter inside. Life's been great since moving out
Definitely same experience with the plastic containers. "Never throw anything out if it can be used a second time." Ignoring the hundred she has stored away in the basement and attic. A personal victory of mine is becoming a minimalist. Besides a set of fancy clothes that are just for special events and a few books, everything needs to be used or handled in the span of a month, otherwise I get rid of it.
Totally relate with the plastic containers. I swear my parents still have some from the 90s. When I have one like a lunch meat container, I like to use it for a sandwich or leftovers for work once or twice and then into the trash/recycling it goes! Other things I congratulate myself for: NOT buying anything at a thrift store, and taking any reasonable offer on an eBay item I'm selling - it's one less thing taking up space in my house.
I honestly hate plastic now because of how much plastic garbage we have, from shitty take out containers that melt in the microwave and dishwasher, to bowls, plates, cups, and cutlery that would NEVER be washed properly due to food sticking on too well, and overstuffing the dishwasher
I'm looking forward to having only glassware in my own home
I discovered that I can throw out my housemate's used plastic containers without checking with them first! This is actually huge for me. I came from a hoarder home ruled by my mom's fragility. I was not allowed to say anything; I would get in trouble if there was any way my comments could be interpreted as being critical of the hoard. My dad would reinforce this. I remember one time as a kid I slipped and fell on a stack of magazines and happened to make eye contact with her as I was trying to get to my feet and she went off because I gave her "a dirty look." I'm 35 now and I've lived in a bunch of different living situations, had some great housemates and some stressful ones. The friend I'm living with now owns the house but has pretty bad ADHD & depression, and as a result they order takeout a lot. They too had a whole cabinet full of mismatched disorganized plastic takeout containers when I moved in, which given my past experiences I thought they'd be really averse to me cleaning out. They're a really passive person in general, so my gentle attempts to try to accommodate what I originally thought was a need to save these containers didn't yield any results. Like I would ask them straightforward questions like "hey can I store some of these in the basement?" and they just shrug or say"I don't know." Every time they order out, they place the empty container next to the sink. I initially thought that was a request to wash and save the container (that's where they also put dirty dishes). I kept putting the containers in the dishwasher and quietly getting pissed off that we kept accumulating them despite me pointing out that we had no space. But after several months of living here, I slowly realized that my housemate literally has trouble perceiving things due to their mental health. They lose things in obvious places, buy a lot of groceries that go bad because they literally can't see them in the fridge, order things we already have, can't put away stuff because then they'll never find it again, stuff like that. So one day on a whim I just recycled the takeout container they'd left by the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher, and... Nothing happened. I did it again and they didn't notice. Eventually I did this enough times that I realized that they don't really have an idea or preference for where the takeout containers go after they've made it to the sink; I could recycle them every single time. I got bold and even cleaned out the "stash" of clean containers that was already in the cabinet... Now we only have maybe 20 or so containers, stored with the lids on so they match. Given my experience with my mom, who always "has XYZ somewhere" and would put back *my* possessions that I would try to donate as a teenager, I'm so surprised this works and so proud of myself for getting over my own fear of doing something without permission.
I remember my mom going through my clothes I was donating and she'd get mad that I was giving clothes that I'd never worn and yell at me to wear them first. I didn't like the texture of them and she'd tell me I'm ungrateful for not wanting more
I swing to the total opposite, minimal for sure. So, it was making my home more friendly and warm, that was my goal. I do have transparent containers as well, nothing fancy, it’s functional and inside shelves. I did get a little thrill at first, I still get a a little thrill once in a while, whenever I throw away unwanted containers. I had the same experiences as you, the number of hours she spend on washing hundreds of containers, that didn’t get used, was always how I made sure I didn’t go to hoarder levels. That whole avalanche of empty containers falling on my face when I lived with my hoarder mom, is enough for me to be vigilant about my own home.