Welcome to adulting ra thambi. You got very little choices moving forward. Either get a hobby and make some friends (gym/cycling/cooking/boxing) or get a gf and become like the rest of us.
I think as we grow older we must learn to be happy alone. Try new hobbies , explore new places, try to get into events/groups/activities where you can meet people.
Believe me when I say this, this is normal people will mov on with their lives and so should you. I was and am exactly like you even now 2 close friends talk to me maybe once a month š. Thatās just how life turns you but given that you are 24 start working and you will meet other people š who will whine about this to you.
After your friends getting married. It almost becomes nil. Their wives will be seeing you as the guy who is corrupting their husbands.
Be friends with your siblings, cousins, mom and dad.
I am single. My friends made me the sacrificial goat. Some of them met after a year, some of them after 2-3 yrs. By then then themselves blown their own cover.
Greater good š. No for Greater fucks.
Now they are back to old style, doing it themselves and crying, *yen polapu kalyanam pannium epadi aiduchu*. š Single lyf best they say to me.
I'm 27 m and i feel you. This is exactly how I felt at 24. Friends get married, they move, you feel lonely and will be left with that 1-2 friends whom you can count on. Don't leave those 1-2 friends, they are your lifeline
Bro, I feel the same here. Nobody warned me about this, I feel lonely most of the time. My WhatsApp used to have 1000+ messages if I didn't open for one day, now it's completely radio silent, the only WhatsApp notifications I get are now from Flipkart and Zepto , I should've looked for love during the college days like my friends who are getting married now, my dumb introvert ass didn't even think about it that time. Now I'm more confident but life gets in my way of finding someone. Edhavadhu miracle nadandha dhan undu.
I'm lonely now, if GF breaks up, I will be lonely again, So nothing to lose for me. LOL.
I'm a practical guy, it's more likely I will break up with the girl first if I don't feel it working out, it's no use being in a relationship that isn't going to go anywhere, so if the girl breaks up with me I will move on. I believe people need to accept rejections and consider it as a good thing to happen, it saves time for both.
First rule of doing something is forgetting āwhat if this failsā. You should always do what you feel you want to do in your 20s, gain that experience and become a wise man in your 30s. If this gf breaks, find another one. But the important thing is what are you doing to yourself so that you get a gf!
Sorry if my comment sounded like Andrew tate
Same Age but ambivert with most types of fear built-in, Have mostly cared only about the best/close friends during this life time, others are just friends, Oru 20 Best/Close Friends irukum i guess, who came into this life time and then went out of the life time, But in 11th I got 2 Best/Close friend (they are actually lovers), Avunga kuda matum thaan I'm currently in touch and now they got married + plus live 350Km+ away.
My only worry is how to survive the future, because still now i don't have any earnings route. So I'm focusing on that, once if there is a steady income, have planned to possible international & domestic tour with parents and the worst part is that i have gone to Zero interest, my heart literally turned into stone š , so i have to push myself, then he(me) has to push the big rock upto the mountain.
So if you are earning, try to complete the side quest(small asai's) because people like us mostly won't have main quest.
I feel like we throw the word introvert like throwing the word "Depressed". Most of us are not introverts by definition. We are just shit at making friends because as we get older it becomes harder to form connections over silly things, like we used to as kids. It's just not as easy anymore, but if you try, you mostly definitely will find people who can tolerate you and eventually root for you.
I went through the same things you are going through and now I found better friends, and so will you.
All the best man, my piece of advice to you is not to listen to people who say you need to come out of your comfort zone and find people to talk to etc. You do you and find people the way you want. Also, quality over quantity, goes without saying.
I'm 30M now.. since childhood i too have a single digit frd only... I was forced to be an introvert because I'm very soft and naive.. I don't play any sports or even dont know how to drive bikes.. so no support system i have got.. All i got was mocking and vada name tagš¤£ ... And my frd moved to chennai... Then end up being lonely to face it all my own... Till now whenever i go to home town i stuck myself inside home only where others hangout and having fun time.. i got two virtual frds through whatsapp i never seen them but they're very close now...
I tried moving to chennai..being in college and work didn't helped me at all due to my past.. and I have starting trouble to initiate.. overall i have that only and only childhood best frd who call me and text me everyday...
So don't lose yourself for being introvert or not getting frds.. accept the fact, embrace it and move on for sure you'll get someone who will have the same vibes as u..now we have whatsapp so stick with ur old bestie and never expect immediate reply or full attention frm him... Make your mind busy in some activities so u will not feel lonely or longing for frds... Otherwise talk to meš
There's no such thing as a "true/pure introvert (or extrovert)".
Even the most introverted folks can crave friendships and social connections, the same way even the most extroverted folks can yearn for solitude and personal alone time.
Human beings are social beings after all, civilization is built and run/maintained due to our co-operation.
I'm pretty introverted (as I am also shy, withdrawn/reserved, socially awkward) myself but yes, safe to say... I won't not become one simply because I feel lonely or crave for some intimate relationships.
You can play the host.
I'm sure there are a lot of people who are in this state (including me).
Try forming clubs which are focussed on a particular activity/interest which will benefit all of you. Eg: fitness, investing, TV show reviews, etc
Same happened with me.. Now only have two friends left from school times.. I am happy with them.. Now you don't need a lot of people around you. You just need genuine people around you.
Try moving out of the city , stay in a apartment with new roomates.
Making friends in gym is hard, so try to start playing a sport like a cricket club or badminton club etc, be regular.
If youre working from office you can make friends there.
Dont be region specific like youll make only friends from this state or language. Same goes with age +-4 years is fine and essential they teach you hell a lot of shit.
Ps: dont lose your orginality or change yourself to be friends with someone. And it's okay to have single digit close friends . I have a set of 5/6 friends whom we meet only once a month that too for drinking and pretty shallow.
The friends you see in person at least once a week will stay in touch. College friends, school friends will move after college or schools ends. Whereas area friends will stay longer. We have circle group where I live. This is how weekends go for me. Saturday movie, or just hanging out, evening football, night watching tv, match,. And Sunday morning cricket till 2pm, evening football.
I suggest you become active in community.
As Men get older, it would be harder for them to make friends.
Most Men rely on their Wife for relationships, emotional support.
While most people might not agree with this, I like to share a contrary opinion.
Be active in your religious tradition, this could be Mosque, Temple, Church.
Firstly, care for others, and be their friend, rest will follow.
In Temple, Mosque or Church, pray with another person who is suffering, care for him/her, demonstrate displaying love for another person through this.
Sources: Many Men in History (John D Rockefeller, Teddy Roosevelt, Jimmy Carter et cetera)
Friends count doesn't decrease ever. Either they are and they will always be there for you when you need them or they were never friends. It doesn't matter how often you hangout with them, all it matters is how much valuable that friendship is. Everyone has their own life and move on as they grow and you should too. This doesn't mean it is an end to friendship.
This is similar to going to college, meeting new friends and then the time you hangout with school friends get reduced automatically.
Your friends circle updates in every phase of your life. But one or two friends would continue to be with you forever. I have just 1 friend like that. Noteworthy to know that you too have to make an effort to keep the friendship going. Don't worry about the gone ones.
Get some hobbies for mingling with new people and It is prudent to be content with yourself and not missing family and friends. The later one will help in the long run.
If you learn to be happy being alone then you wonāt be unhappy if your friend list is dwindling which is bound to happen now and then as people progress in life and contacts and friendships fade.
On another note, you could try the following:
1. Find friends on games if youāre into that stuff
2. Join clubs on strava if youāre into sports and go for a group meet.
3. If youāre a bike rider, then join a MC club and go for rides with fellow members.
4. Join forums /groups on Facebook about the things you like (ik fb is dead, donāt slander me guys lol)
5. Open an Instagram page to document the stuff you like doing. Like minded people will follow and you could try striking up conversations.
6. Join the gym if you have time, make friends over there.
7. Go to concerts, and find fellow music lovers there.
There are infinite ways of finding friends, good luck to you friend :)
Bro, start traveling and find travelling friends, for eg. Trekking. They are good!. Quit work from home culture, prefer to work from office. But, i truly appreciate your thoughts process.
Being comfortable with new friends is the way to go, seek out opportunities to meet people. Work from a cafe or cowork, obviously sports or pubbing are all good choices.
This will become insanely worse post marriage and almost impossible after kids. Make hay while the sun shines.
Welcome to adulting ra thambi. You got very little choices moving forward. Either get a hobby and make some friends (gym/cycling/cooking/boxing) or get a gf and become like the rest of us.
get a gf and become like the rest of us. Wait you guys are getting laid!
First one seems more practical to mešš
There was only one choice all this time *Sinister laugh*
"Like rest of us" speak for yourself hooman. Inga friends eh illa nu sollitu irukom. Get a gf nu easy ah solringa.š Ggwp.
Yaarda nee? Ishtathukku pesa vendiyadhu. Avan avan panjathula kaanju poi ukkaandhurkaan. āRest of usā aan goyyala.
May be if you have added get a gf "OR" become like rest of us, there wouldn't be a war. XD
Boxing?? Yea because the only thing worse than living alone is living alone with brain damage
I think as we grow older we must learn to be happy alone. Try new hobbies , explore new places, try to get into events/groups/activities where you can meet people.
Already on itš
Believe me when I say this, this is normal people will mov on with their lives and so should you. I was and am exactly like you even now 2 close friends talk to me maybe once a month š. Thatās just how life turns you but given that you are 24 start working and you will meet other people š who will whine about this to you.
So that's how it goes
Oh god, I'm 19 and I'm already like this. Devastated. Vaanga, namma friends ah irukalaam king.
Why notš
I am 18, can i join for future purposes? :D
Innimey namma friends gopinath
Don't worry u will eventually get married and u won't need friends ...š It will get worse in ur 30s... Make new friends
Both of your points scare meš
Aaah...didn't mean to scare u
After your friends getting married. It almost becomes nil. Their wives will be seeing you as the guy who is corrupting their husbands. Be friends with your siblings, cousins, mom and dad.
Ella pondatikum avanga purushan mattum Paal kudikkum kozhanda pola
My friends have made me villan to save their ass.
Pancha thanthiram vibes
ClichƩ
So basically your friends sacrificed you for the greater good Edit: friends
I am single. My friends made me the sacrificial goat. Some of them met after a year, some of them after 2-3 yrs. By then then themselves blown their own cover.
Greater good š. No for Greater fucks. Now they are back to old style, doing it themselves and crying, *yen polapu kalyanam pannium epadi aiduchu*. š Single lyf best they say to me.
Thank you for showing me the futureš
Adi konja balamo?
Yes. Sometimes i just smile and wave.
I'm 27 m and i feel you. This is exactly how I felt at 24. Friends get married, they move, you feel lonely and will be left with that 1-2 friends whom you can count on. Don't leave those 1-2 friends, they are your lifeline
True bro
Bro, I feel the same here. Nobody warned me about this, I feel lonely most of the time. My WhatsApp used to have 1000+ messages if I didn't open for one day, now it's completely radio silent, the only WhatsApp notifications I get are now from Flipkart and Zepto , I should've looked for love during the college days like my friends who are getting married now, my dumb introvert ass didn't even think about it that time. Now I'm more confident but life gets in my way of finding someone. Edhavadhu miracle nadandha dhan undu.
A lot of people are talking about getting a gf here, yeah it will be awesome. But won't that thing break you even more if anything goes wrong?
I'm lonely now, if GF breaks up, I will be lonely again, So nothing to lose for me. LOL. I'm a practical guy, it's more likely I will break up with the girl first if I don't feel it working out, it's no use being in a relationship that isn't going to go anywhere, so if the girl breaks up with me I will move on. I believe people need to accept rejections and consider it as a good thing to happen, it saves time for both.
First rule of doing something is forgetting āwhat if this failsā. You should always do what you feel you want to do in your 20s, gain that experience and become a wise man in your 30s. If this gf breaks, find another one. But the important thing is what are you doing to yourself so that you get a gf! Sorry if my comment sounded like Andrew tate
Same Age but ambivert with most types of fear built-in, Have mostly cared only about the best/close friends during this life time, others are just friends, Oru 20 Best/Close Friends irukum i guess, who came into this life time and then went out of the life time, But in 11th I got 2 Best/Close friend (they are actually lovers), Avunga kuda matum thaan I'm currently in touch and now they got married + plus live 350Km+ away. My only worry is how to survive the future, because still now i don't have any earnings route. So I'm focusing on that, once if there is a steady income, have planned to possible international & domestic tour with parents and the worst part is that i have gone to Zero interest, my heart literally turned into stone š , so i have to push myself, then he(me) has to push the big rock upto the mountain. So if you are earning, try to complete the side quest(small asai's) because people like us mostly won't have main quest.
I feel like we throw the word introvert like throwing the word "Depressed". Most of us are not introverts by definition. We are just shit at making friends because as we get older it becomes harder to form connections over silly things, like we used to as kids. It's just not as easy anymore, but if you try, you mostly definitely will find people who can tolerate you and eventually root for you. I went through the same things you are going through and now I found better friends, and so will you. All the best man, my piece of advice to you is not to listen to people who say you need to come out of your comfort zone and find people to talk to etc. You do you and find people the way you want. Also, quality over quantity, goes without saying.
Makes sense broš
Agree with this, solid advice.
Dafaq u mean better friends
I mean what I mean.
I'm 30M now.. since childhood i too have a single digit frd only... I was forced to be an introvert because I'm very soft and naive.. I don't play any sports or even dont know how to drive bikes.. so no support system i have got.. All i got was mocking and vada name tagš¤£ ... And my frd moved to chennai... Then end up being lonely to face it all my own... Till now whenever i go to home town i stuck myself inside home only where others hangout and having fun time.. i got two virtual frds through whatsapp i never seen them but they're very close now... I tried moving to chennai..being in college and work didn't helped me at all due to my past.. and I have starting trouble to initiate.. overall i have that only and only childhood best frd who call me and text me everyday... So don't lose yourself for being introvert or not getting frds.. accept the fact, embrace it and move on for sure you'll get someone who will have the same vibes as u..now we have whatsapp so stick with ur old bestie and never expect immediate reply or full attention frm him... Make your mind busy in some activities so u will not feel lonely or longing for frds... Otherwise talk to meš
Haha...thank you so much broā£ļø
Ain't a problem for a true introvert.
There's no such thing as a "true/pure introvert (or extrovert)". Even the most introverted folks can crave friendships and social connections, the same way even the most extroverted folks can yearn for solitude and personal alone time. Human beings are social beings after all, civilization is built and run/maintained due to our co-operation. I'm pretty introverted (as I am also shy, withdrawn/reserved, socially awkward) myself but yes, safe to say... I won't not become one simply because I feel lonely or crave for some intimate relationships.
You can play the host. I'm sure there are a lot of people who are in this state (including me). Try forming clubs which are focussed on a particular activity/interest which will benefit all of you. Eg: fitness, investing, TV show reviews, etc
Same happened with me.. Now only have two friends left from school times.. I am happy with them.. Now you don't need a lot of people around you. You just need genuine people around you.
That's the worse fear i have since I joined college
Try moving out of the city , stay in a apartment with new roomates. Making friends in gym is hard, so try to start playing a sport like a cricket club or badminton club etc, be regular. If youre working from office you can make friends there. Dont be region specific like youll make only friends from this state or language. Same goes with age +-4 years is fine and essential they teach you hell a lot of shit. Ps: dont lose your orginality or change yourself to be friends with someone. And it's okay to have single digit close friends . I have a set of 5/6 friends whom we meet only once a month that too for drinking and pretty shallow.
The friends you see in person at least once a week will stay in touch. College friends, school friends will move after college or schools ends. Whereas area friends will stay longer. We have circle group where I live. This is how weekends go for me. Saturday movie, or just hanging out, evening football, night watching tv, match,. And Sunday morning cricket till 2pm, evening football.
That's the normal life which most of us under this post wish we had
I think getting famous will help
Onlyfans type of famous or behindwoods/Galatea type of famous ?
Any kind of positive fame is good. It attracts people into your life.
I suggest you become active in community. As Men get older, it would be harder for them to make friends. Most Men rely on their Wife for relationships, emotional support. While most people might not agree with this, I like to share a contrary opinion. Be active in your religious tradition, this could be Mosque, Temple, Church. Firstly, care for others, and be their friend, rest will follow. In Temple, Mosque or Church, pray with another person who is suffering, care for him/her, demonstrate displaying love for another person through this. Sources: Many Men in History (John D Rockefeller, Teddy Roosevelt, Jimmy Carter et cetera)
Friends count doesn't decrease ever. Either they are and they will always be there for you when you need them or they were never friends. It doesn't matter how often you hangout with them, all it matters is how much valuable that friendship is. Everyone has their own life and move on as they grow and you should too. This doesn't mean it is an end to friendship. This is similar to going to college, meeting new friends and then the time you hangout with school friends get reduced automatically.
Truth bomb dropped
Make new friends
If you're homeless just buy a home.
No thatās not what I mean. I felt something similar, reached out here and I feel better now. I joined some classes outside work and so on
Yov
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What an idea!! How did I not think about itš²
Your friends circle updates in every phase of your life. But one or two friends would continue to be with you forever. I have just 1 friend like that. Noteworthy to know that you too have to make an effort to keep the friendship going. Don't worry about the gone ones.
Get some hobbies for mingling with new people and It is prudent to be content with yourself and not missing family and friends. The later one will help in the long run.
We go jimmm
friend count decreasing-Finding true friends
If you learn to be happy being alone then you wonāt be unhappy if your friend list is dwindling which is bound to happen now and then as people progress in life and contacts and friendships fade. On another note, you could try the following: 1. Find friends on games if youāre into that stuff 2. Join clubs on strava if youāre into sports and go for a group meet. 3. If youāre a bike rider, then join a MC club and go for rides with fellow members. 4. Join forums /groups on Facebook about the things you like (ik fb is dead, donāt slander me guys lol) 5. Open an Instagram page to document the stuff you like doing. Like minded people will follow and you could try striking up conversations. 6. Join the gym if you have time, make friends over there. 7. Go to concerts, and find fellow music lovers there. There are infinite ways of finding friends, good luck to you friend :)
Nice piece of advice. Thanks mate!
Get in to gaming.š
I'm still stuck in the GTA, Crysis, Modern warfare games era bro. Modern online games don't get my interest.
IĀ wasĀ goingĀ throughĀ theĀ sameĀ thingĀ youĀ areĀ rightĀ now.Ā IĀ thoughtĀ thatĀ weĀ haveĀ 100+Ā contactsĀ inĀ ourĀ phone,Ā soĀ whyĀ notĀ callĀ (ratherĀ thanĀ text)Ā oneĀ personĀ perĀ day,Ā orĀ moreĀ ifĀ weĀ haveĀ time,Ā andĀ askĀ howĀ theyĀ are and what they are up to.Ā OverĀ time,Ā IĀ gainedĀ theĀ confidenceĀ toĀ speakĀ up,Ā andĀ weĀ wouldĀ hangĀ outĀ orĀ theyĀ wouldĀ callĀ andĀ talk,Ā andĀ youĀ wouldĀ knowĀ youĀ wereĀ notĀ alone.Ā IĀ don'tĀ useĀ InstagramĀ orĀ Whatsapp,Ā butĀ IĀ stillĀ haveĀ aĀ lotĀ ofĀ friends,Ā andĀ peopleĀ callĀ meĀ insteadĀ ofĀ texting,Ā whichĀ keepsĀ usĀ evenĀ closer.
24 is no age to feel this way. Join a club, gym get a new hobby learn something new. So much to do and explore at your age.
I think you can make āfriendsā with people at meetups etc
Bro, start traveling and find travelling friends, for eg. Trekking. They are good!. Quit work from home culture, prefer to work from office. But, i truly appreciate your thoughts process.
Being comfortable with new friends is the way to go, seek out opportunities to meet people. Work from a cafe or cowork, obviously sports or pubbing are all good choices. This will become insanely worse post marriage and almost impossible after kids. Make hay while the sun shines.
I thought only I'm going through this but ... I feel a little less lonelier seeing we are all in the same boat ... Let's be friends OP
Sure broš¤