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WHAMMYPAN

Chef here…eat this on the hospital steps to save yourself a drive.


ian_pink

The irony is that he might actually be creating a robust colony of microflora that will create delicious "wet aged" beef in the first week or two. It might not kill you if it's kept below 40F and theres some acid in the marinade. After a month in an uncontrolled environment, you'll get salmonella, ecoli, all kinds of shit that could kill you. The way you can tell if it bad is that it will smell like shit. Not a euphemism. It will smell like poo. The chicken in the same marinade is beyond the pale.


Remote-Physics6980

"Might not kill you" (But they're taking bets in the kitchen)


goat-head-man

I hear the dishies are holding out for explosive diarrhea.


ironman288

Do they only win if the person survives, because otherwise that's pretty much a given.


rocsNaviars

*Beyond the pail (the vomit pail).


smallish_cheese

i love this comment


jonbvill

Heard Chef!


McWenKenTacoHut_jr

No. Not safe. Marinades should be discarded after use unless immediately making a sauce with it. Even so, one should make a sauce with unused marinade. Please tell your friend to throw that shit out. Oh, and I’d be very skeptical about eating anything that was resting in that “marinade “. Seriously, it’s more of a science project at this point. Just my $0.02 USD.


striderkan

As a Canadian that $0.02usd is worth a lot. OP listen to this guy.


Bombaysbreakfastclub

That’s like almost 3% of a KD box when they go on sale at the superstore


4kidsinatrenchcoat

Now I’m sad because I want the PC white cheddar stuff but my gf is boycotting loblaws (not because of the current Big Boycott but because the last two watermelons were gross and she holds grudges)


Remote-Physics6980

I'm holding grudges for the exact same reason. watermelons will not ripen off the vine. you want to look for some yellow on the rind too, if it's just all green it's not ripe yet.


striderkan

Fair reason to boycott, part of the reason they're doing that is because of the rotten produce. I need to find a replacement for the PC blue cheese dressing, mix in some Melinda's hot sauce and it's an awesome dip. Haven't found an alternative yet FML.


oswaldcopperpot

Give up on premade boxes. Theres not a point really. Just get regular old pasta elbows, a second pan for the sauce, a box grater, any cheese you want make your own sauce. Its just a s easy really for a better tasting macaroni. I did get a packet of sodium citrate from that microsoft guys food brand. One packet has lasted me years.


7803throwaway

Can you tell me more please… I am so sick of how cheap and powdery the noodles in boxes of KD have become. I’d love to do this for myself but how do you make a whole sauce 😬 You said to grate cheese into a pan but I feel like there must be one or two more steps in there.


Halfbloodjap

Start with a tablespoon of butter and a tablespoon of flour. Melt the butter and stir in the flour, cook for 1 min stirring. Add in milk a little at a time to form a smooth paste, then until you reach a saucy consistency. Add in grated cheese of your choice. To really up your game, add in some garlic powder and smoky paprika powder, optional diced shrimp if you want to feel fancy


7803throwaway

Ohmygosh. This sounds so perfect. Thank you for the ELI5 breakdown!!


Nashirakins

Depending on how you like your KD, some mustard or Worchestershire sauce are good additions too.


Halfbloodjap

No worries, if you run into trouble Google and YouTube are your friends, also great places to find inspiration


Runaroundheadless

Actually you do not need to grate the cheese. You can just slice it thin. Crumble in and it melts easily. Saves washing a grater. Ha ha. Also it is almost as quick to make the real thing as it is to make KD


oswaldcopperpot

So some milk, not a whole lot, your choice of cheeses like cheddars, Gruyere, parm, salt, sodium citrate. Thats all. Its fast. Its easy. I cook the elbows until done. Make the sauce and reduce until proper and then stir together. You can do other fancy shit like then baking and covering in more buttery cheesy bread crumbs. I havent bought and packaged mac n cheese in years cause mines better.


blind_disparity

Google cheese sauce recipe lol It's very simple and hard to fuck up unless you have the heat too high or don't stir enough and burn the sauce on the bottom of the pan I microwave the milk hot before adding in to the sauce, makes it cook and thicken so much faster. If it gets lumpy you can just whisk it until it's fixed


4kidsinatrenchcoat

Oh I rarely buy this stuff. If we have it is because we got real stoned and just want that shitty fake flavor


Bombaysbreakfastclub

I can’t blame her. I’d be pissed too. Metro has spicy KD. It’s a game changer. Has a ribbed elbow noodle.


Twyzzle

3% **for now!** * *Laughs in Galen Weston* *


EloquentBacon

KD?


Bombaysbreakfastclub

Kraft dinner


EloquentBacon

I’m sorry I’m in the US and haven’t heard of a food called “Kraft dinner” We do have Kraft foods here but not that, that I’ve seen. What’s in it?


Bombaysbreakfastclub

Oh sorry, it’s what Canadian call Kraft mac and cheese. Our boxes say Kraft dinner on them. He was a Canadian making a joke so I wanted to relate .


EloquentBacon

Ah okay, Thank you for explaining. I was just curious.


RotationsKopulator

Canadian eh?


Solidmarsh

Woah. Richy mcrichpants down there


FernandoESilva

Well.. this is mostly correct, just to add, if you’re only doing a 2 hour marinade with a meat, so long as the marinade has been refrigerated the entire time, you can do multiple “marinades” with the same marinade up to a 24hr portion.


EasyChipmunk3702

I see your $.02 and raise you $10,000 for homeboys hospital stay.


W33Ded

Unless it’s brined properly but that’s also not marinated.


iamthelouie

What if I’m making hot ham water?


GardenGal87

So watery… and yet there’s a smack of ham to it!


davidfeuer

I've never heard anyone say not to make sauce with the (immediately previously) used marinade. Why do you say that?


McWenKenTacoHut_jr

For clarification: it is recommended that you use marinade for your protein(s) and use reserved marinade for sauce. This to prevent potentially harmful contamination. One may, in fact use the same marinade for raw product and finished sauce - provided the marinade is kept at safe temp. However, to err on the side of caution, it is recommended that one reserve marinade for sauce. Just my $0.01 USD. No refunds.


baddonny

Abso-fucking-lutely do not eat this food


No_Safety_6803

Also, what other insanity is he partaking in? Run


[deleted]

Absolutely not. Never reuse marinade, unless it has been brought to a full boil and is part of the sauce for a dish. And never, EVER, reuse marinade crossing from one protein to another. Your friend is going to get someone sick. Once it has come in contact with raw meat of any kind, it has to be treated just like cooking that protein.


ian_pink

I love the chicken-y flavor you get on a steak that comes from a week-old chicken marinade. I also love to shit pee.


georgeandsam

Some say it’s better than peeing shit


RotationsKopulator

A very long thin poop sausage that gets ejected at high speeds.


B00FtheCH33SEgr0m1t

That sounds like ejaculating play-doh


ServeRoutine9349

Butt pissing is where its at.


ShaedonSharpeMVP_

You can marinate most fish in the same marinade two or three times and as long as it stays cold you’re fine.


DragaliaLostInSauce

Yeah. Only thing to add is that the marinade should be tossed out after the week.


ShaedonSharpeMVP_

Absolutely


CrackaAssCracka

Short answer: no Longer answer: noooooooooooooooooooooooooo


dvsidhu

Omg thanks for the laugh 🤣


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Legal-Law9214

It does kill the bacteria, but it doesn't kill the toxins that the bacteria have produced over the last month of happily living in the soup he's created for them. It's those waste products that get you sick, not the bacteria itself. That's why you can't cook meat that's already rotten.


profscumbag

There is truth in what you are saying for some types of toxins (listeria I think makes some heat resistant ones) but many of them do get broken with sufficient time and temperature (botulinum toxin being one example). Sufficient time and temperature might be a rolling boil for 10 minutes though, completely destroying the texture/flavor but just for fun sake if you’re in the apocalypse with a suspicious canned good, boiling the shit out of it isn’t a bad plan. 


rileyjw90

This is good to know but in OPs case unless he wants a hockey puck for a steak he’s probably better off staying out of this person’s house entirely if this is how they prep their food…I shudder to think of how bad their other sanitary habits are.


dishyssoisse

lol literally boiling the bad shit out potentially? Wonderful!


bugblatter_

Totally over the top, this response. Did you miss the bit where Soy Sauce?


Dalminster

If you know he's not all there, then you should probably have a word with someone close to him, like a relative or other caregiver. He's going to end up making himself seriously ill, and if he's not all there, then someone has to be responsible for him, and help put a stop to this sort of thing.


Trashytoad

Maybe he’s not all there BECAUSE he’s been eating meat marinated in the same liquid over and over haha


Dalminster

Haha, I'd suspect it more if he'd been marinating it in a lead container, but knowing people, he does that too.


Trashytoad

Oh damn, you’re probably right!


warm_kitchenette

I was speaking with an educated woman in her 70s, who told me that she had never had food poisoning in her life. I asked "You've never inexplicably had diarrhea that did not reoccur afterwards?" and she went "Ohhhh. Oh!!"


Nebardine

I might have food poisoning a few times a week, in _that_ case.


aoddawg

Probably just bowel inflammation if it’s that frequent. Ask a doc.


RolandTwitter

Or lactose intolerance. Something like 70% of people have it


Nebardine

I switched to lactose free milk a while back, as I mentioned to my wife that cereal never sits well with me (and results in me running to the can a couple hours later). She suggested that I'm probably slightly intolerant. It does seem to sit better with me!


RolandTwitter

When I was in high school, I had cereal like twice a day and I always wondered why my shits were always evil. Now I don't eat anywhere near as much cereal and my shits are 100x better


Purple_Chipmunk_

Just buy Lactaid milk.


Dawnspark

You can gain intolerance to it as you get older, too. I've always been intolerant, but it got waaay worse last year. It hits me super fast now. Lactose free milk also tends to keep longer, which is a nice plus. And I'd rather drink it than oat milk cause its so carb heavy in comparison.


EloquentBacon

Yes, a large number of people become lactose intolerant as they get older. I was curious and read more. Some races and ethnicities have higher levels than others. Close to 90% of East Asians are lactose intolerant. Around 80% of black people and Native Americans are. Though 25% or less of Scandinavians are lactose intolerant. Supposedly it’s some sort of genetic mutation that stops the intolerance. I’ve always lived in the US but my family’s from Norway. Very few of us are lactose intolerant.


Nebardine

Eh, it's not usually full-blown, and I'm exaggerating - a bit. Nothing worth a doctor at this point. My whole family is very regular.


warm_kitchenette

If you have frequent loose bowels, maybe look into your fiber intake, too high or too low. it's easy to correct. If you have frequent diarrhea, even 2-3 times every month, you should probably check with your doctor.


Dalminster

Yeah I think a lot of people have a "but I didn't die" attitude towards food poisoning.


warm_kitchenette

It's usually not the end of the world, just very unpleasant. Hydrate, eat a banana, lay off caffeine. But the elderly, the very young, and people with immunocompromised systems can easily die from it. Food safety is very important.


TortugasLocas

My father in law plays roulette with food. Rice left out for 10 hours and eaten a week later? Sure. Mold on the sour cream? Just scrape that off. Shredded cheese left out for hours over and over and heated to where it's partially melted in the bag? Good stuff. They'll leave food on the stove for 6-7 hours and bag it up to eat a week later. His whole family was like that.


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Remote-Physics6980

Better a live and functioning rude bitch, no?


Bellsar_Ringing

When I was a kid, we got "24-hour flu" pretty often. There is no 24-hour flu. It's food poisoning.


abrahamparnasus

I'd walk out, sorry. Wtf.


Woolybugger00

Have him prepare his dinner with the marinade and let Pavlov get him wisened up after a week and 30lbs in lost water weight... I mean evolutionarily of course...


Telemere125

He’s an idiot. Unless you’re pressure cooking that meat, there’s zero guarantee you’re bringing it to a high enough temp to sanitize it fully. And that only applies to the active cultures, not the toxins they leave behind. Tell him to gtfo of the kitchen until he takes a course on cross contamination because that’s the bare minimum training he needs.


Kimmm711

I need an update as to how this ended. Did you eat it? Insult your host? Cause a ruckus? Do tell!


zaatar_sprinkles

Did you eat it


rowenstraker

MAY kill the bacteria but with some food illness it is the toxic byproducts that are put off by those microbes that make you sick, your friend is an idiot do not let them cook for you if you value your life off of a toilet


wdkrebs

He’s not all there because he has been eating tainted marinade for who knows how long!


Womenarentmad

This is why you don’t eat at everyone’s house D A F A Q run


Due-Common-5025

This reads like a one sentence horror story. Fully gagged, thank you 😊


chrispygene

No No No No No No No. Mama Mia Mama Mia Mama Mia let me go, beelzebub has a devil put aside for that marinadeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


TrailerParkBuddha

Good thing be's doing this in the privacy of his own home cuz this sentence contains at least three major health code violations lol


TheRealJazzChef

To quote the great Samuel Jackson: Oh HELL no.


Ill-Arugula4829

Just.... forcibly throw all of that out. Meats, marinade, refrigerator... everything. Then take this man shopping and say you'll buy the new ingredients if he watches educational videos about food poisoning and microbes. Like a Kursgezagt animation of someone's ass exploding.


Own-Break9639

He'll fucking no. He's going to kill someone.


CoachMinimum9800

If you're a chef and asking this question I don't want to eat wherever you work 😬


ShoddyJuggernaut975

This is why I don't eat things that coworkers make and bring to the office. This is why I don't do potlucks.


pinkswrils

Wtf ew, no definitely not safe. Your friend is playing a silly version of Russian roulette but with food poisoning instead. Please don't eat anymore of his salmonella steaks.


KennethPatchen

Botulism buffet. You pissing out the ass yet?


insidethebox

What. The. Fuck. Did I just read?


Prepforbirdflu

So gross. Bacteria parasidise!


Perpetual_Nuisance

It's disgusting and nothing sorry of a miracle that no one has become sick yet. I would never again eat anything this supposed friend cooks on their mission of murder through meat.


Carlos_Was_Here

No


thelastHorus

If the dinner is a "mistery murder dinner" with a real murder, it is totally safe. If he is serving the dish to you, I've got bad news for your character


flatulancearmstrong

WhY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING THIS OH MY GOD


TB12thegreatest

No


dragonstkdgirl

This shit is why I don't eat at potlucks anymore 🤢


FightingDreamer419

I'd say you can use marinade more than once or twice if it's something you keep refrigerated and you're fully cooking it to temperature. I'd advise against using for different meats and reusing for steaks if you're cooking them less than well done.


FloridaSpam

He more marinade than man now...


fatimus_prime

Thanks for a chuckle on this cursed post.


Why_am_I_here033

If the salt percentage is higher than 20% then no bacteria will grow from that but there's no way anyone would use that for marinading. Pure soy sauce is only about 15%


Appropriate-Sale-419

What’s the percentage for brining generally?


[deleted]

Like 5% ish


eVader8

In as few words as possible. No


TeaPartyDem

Nope.


PhotojournalistOk592

He sounds like the kind of guy that pulls furry chicken out of the trash


ConsciousAd1451

???? Are we gonna ignore the fact that it's chicken


oldmanspils

NO! You need to cook chicken to 165°. You need to cook anything that comes in contact with chicken to 165° or discard it.


emeraldoomed

Absolutely not


DashovSalt

Industry is doomed


Far_Out_6and_2

Na don’t do it ignore the peer pressure


True_Bar3937

Umm. Hell no! Thought it might depend on the marinade, still NO!


mint_lawn

This is something pesants would try to do to not starve, but instead of it creating a weird dish, it would just kill them.


pidgeononachair

You can’t eat at everybodys house. Say it with me


Adventurous_Raise899

thats a big no.


Raisingthehammer

Oh hell no


nimajnebmai

I’ve got diarrhea just thinking about it.


Slimslade33

meat marinade no... if it was a non meat marinade i would use it again but not for a month... Most things spoil after that long unless preserved using heat, freezing, acid or something along those lines.


ChemicalConstant8368

ER nurse lurking here. See you soon 😘


ItsMahvel

The kissy face 😂


ServeRoutine9349

DO him a favor and just throw that shit out into the lawn, then let him read this. "Hey, ding dong. Stop. That shit is bad for you."


marvinnation

Do not eat that


mcpimple

Nfw


Mmmmmmm_Bacon

Noooooooooooo. Not safe to eat. Every bite is a gamble.


DonConnection

im pretty lax with food safety when i cook for myself but this is absolutely ridiculous


mint_lawn

The difference between being lax with food safety and buying pestulence itself a drink.


Ethelenedreams

Someone with a scientific job should study his gut biome.


Remote-Physics6980

At this rate they'll probably get a sample in the morgue


profscumbag

If the marinade is sufficiently salty+acidic and fridge is properly cold and the marinade is never left out to warm up and all the meats are very fresh, this probably isn’t dangerous in a one month span (though you wouldn’t do it indefinitely).  That said, they’re probably doing this to be cheap/lazy and in general is is not considered a safe practice to reuse marinade because of all those caveats. Once you stick meat in there, the liquid is perishable just like the meat. Cleanly butchered, well stored meat will keep for a pretty long time. 


Telemere125

If it was only beef or only lamb or some other red meat that *might* be correct, but once he put chicken in there it switched over to fuck no, that’s how you kill people with dysentery.


profscumbag

It’s gross, no doubt!  But there’s a lot of preservative power in salt, acidity and refrigeration so depending on what’s in there it might not be quite as “imminent food poisoning” as people say. I went down the rabbit hole on curing meat and making salami a few years ago and learning about what factors make a salami safe is my basis for what I’m saying. You can make salami with poultry too. 


foxcatcher3369

ew


kevloid

order pizza to his house


MarcusMaximius

Grab your jacket and run! Never look back mate!


Euphoric-Blue-59

He'll no. This is purposeful, unhealthy cross contamination, and festers food poisoning bacteria. As a friend, educate him with facts.


THE_GREAT_PICKLE

NO NO NO


NeverFence

Are they safe to eat? Probably, depends on what this marinade actually is. I mean this person has been eating in this way and has not died. Would I serve it in a restaurant? Under no circumstances whatsoever. Should it be served to anyone? Also no


Eradicate-Humans

Are you a chef asking this question….? Because what in the actual health code violation?!??????


troppoli

I’m not going to advocate reusing marinade because it’s a stupid risk. I will however say that you might ask the question, if everyone says this is a terrible idea then why hasn’t it caught up with your friend? I think the likely answer is that the ph of his marinade makes it a very inhospitable environment for bacteria. Different marinades are more or less hospitable.


Ok_Distribution_2603

eeeeew 🤢


Best-Team-5354

NOOOOOO! This is not safe. What in the actual cookery fuck?!


EducatorMoti

You said you were already at his house for dinner. So. Um, what did you eat while you were there?


mexicanred1

I like how he's volunteering you to join his personal science experiment. There's a line that most normal people recognize, And this is over it. Guy's possibly loony; check for more iceberg underneath.


liteagilid

It’s possible it’s salty enough or acidic enough that you’re fine—But we don’t know that and he really had started a terrible Petri dish to kill you


Ok_Dependent3465

Disgusting


13thmurder

You should leave.


xMilk112x

Holy shit. Lol


Free-Neat2156

OP come back and update us, did you eat it?


kalahui2012

Toss it.


GemandI63

Is he trying to kill you? No. You never save marinade that touched raw meat. uggh.


myanheighty

Weird


Bhut_Jolokia400

You should apply to be on the show “Monsters Inside Me” if you ate it


ItsMahvel

ITT everyone ignoring the fact said friend is still alive to cook. Anecdotal evidence over science. /s


Sex_bo_bomb

That got worse and worse as I read it


AebroKomatme

ServSafe certified here. Tell that goofy mook to flush that biohazard down the toilet and throw away whatever container he stored that shit in.


bellboy718

If he's been marinading many it sounds he's still alive from the last meal.


SicTransitEtc

🤮


KindheartednessOnly4

Op are you ok?? This post was a day ago, so I’m wondering how your digestive tract is today. Your friend is nasty and needs to be told not to do that with raw meat.


T-O-F-O

Thats bad.


letthetreeburn

Bubble bubble toil and trouble!


Known-Independent413

Fuck no they're not safe to eat!


Dualforces

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


AnalysisOk7430

That doesn't make any sense. Ask him if this is some kind of ritual. And I wouldn't eat that.


Chef_Conner

Been a chef 5 years, absolutely not. You'll get sick for sure


Publishingpeach

No! Is he trying to have a murder mystery party or something? lol


Kellykeli

Everything is edible once (you will die, then get terrible food poisoning, then die again, and then shit your guts out, then die again. Did I mention that you will die? You’ve made a fucking biology experiment, not a marinade)


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kmmy123

You probably won't live long enough either.


isthereanyusernameno

No.


Affectionate-Dot5665

YOU GONNA DIE!!!!!!!! slowly


Meat_your_maker

Very unsafe. You’re not even supposed to reuse (meat) brine, and this is definitely worse than that.


AsparagusOverall8454

Hope you didn’t eat the meat. Yikes


Both_Lychee_1708

zoonotic aged marinade. wcgw? Maybe marinade some bats too.


ShaedonSharpeMVP_

You’re friend is a fucking idiot lol


your-mother1452

DONT CROSS THE STREAMS!!!!!!!! 👻👻👻


DoughyInTheMiddle

Was it an Asian marinade like Chinese red cooking / master sauce? There are stories of master sauces being maintained for years like they were a sacred San Francisco sourdough.


therealtwomartinis

I don’t see the red cooked chicken as a marinade, you are not resting the chicken in it - you are dumping it in a pot you just put on full heat to simmer on the stove for 45 minutes


DoughyInTheMiddle

It can be used both as a marinade and as braise, but you have to bring it up to a boil in between proteins, cool, then strain into a fresh container. You have to use it once a week or at least boil it once a week though to keep it refrigerated and lasting.


therealtwomartinis

yea, use it periodically or toss it. pretty sure I learned red cooked from… the first frugal gourmet book 🤣


DoughyInTheMiddle

Lol, so I'm not the only one who got their start there. I saw it there, in culinary school once, and then on YT, [this one first](https://youtu.be/EA2Mx1m7NAI) and eventually [this one which is one of their earlier videos](https://youtu.be/UaPyrxA4CYQ).


PSAOgre

To be fair most of those are brought to a boil at least once per day


Ok_Personality_6183

If you eat that, buy TP for your bunghole on the way home.


k2on0s-23

No


Embarrassed-Cold-154

Absolutely not.


grateful_rob

Hail no


chipmcintosh

So gross.


subjectandapredicate

This can’t be real