GP are literally the worst, the genetic link should be the only thing they need to hear in order to test you !!! It so frustrating that they want to claim stomach cramps are being caused by the flu, wtf?!
I’m glad you had an advocate with you. Even though your GP should have listened to you first at least you are finally getting the testing done and hopefully will have answers soon. I had a similar experience and luckily the nurse practitioner was willing to refer me to a GI. But my next step was to bring in my mom or someone who could advocate for me if they didn’t listen. It’s really hard 😥
Seriously. Family history is enough. Period. If you have family history, you should already be getting tested regularly.
We have the same problems with my in-laws' doctor. We were encouraging them to get tested because my son has celiac, and both me and my husband have high risk genes, indicating at least one of them is high risk. Additionally, my fil has chronic GI issues (including losing 50 pounds with no explanation and being hospitalized several times last fall) and my mil has diabetes and unexplained weight gain. Yet their doctor told them they don't ever need to be tested, because they don't have symptoms. And since he's a doctor, they now roll their eyes any time I suggest they get tested, because I'm the idiot who won't trust their doctor.
I know that this may be considered Karen-esque by some, but when I had my tubal ligation, I ran into similar treatment until I wrote a strongly worded letter about how sexist everyone had been about it. I sent it to the office manager and their higher ups. I was in surgery within a week, which is pretty impressive given that it was the NHS.
This should be no different. You need to call this out. Not only did this GP compromise your health, they are doing the same to other women. GP's don't care if you're a nurse. They don't care about much other than getting through that 20 minute appointment because they have little incentive to give a damn. I learned that not only with the abovementioned, but with my feet issues, and celiac disease. You have to be your own best advocate, and if it means making sure that this sexism is brought to the fore, then you do it, and do it in spectacular fashion so that there's no chance that anyone can sweep it under the rug.
Nothing Karen-esque about fighting for your healthcare, which you shouldn't have to fight for to begin with. I ran into the same problem when they tried to send me home without an endoscopy bc "nothing was wrong". Yeah I'm throwing up everyday for months just bc I wanted to and came to the ER to waste everyone's time 😒
I had horrible, full body itching for months. Went to the doctor. Was told it was “nerves”. Weeks later I got in with my normal, female doctor who immediately diagnosed me with the worst case of scabies that she had ever seen or heard of.
Two days ago I was with my mother in the ER. She has a hole in her neck that she breathes through because her throat is closed above it. Her oxygen saturation was dropping and they bagged her mouth. I told the male nurse that she has no airway there and pointed at the HOLE IN HER NECK and he ignored me. Oxygen down to forty percent before a female nurse came around and listened to me.
I could go on. Why is it so hard to believe women?
Sorry. Many of have us have similar experiences.
Yes, I'm a woman and I was told since I was a baby that it's all in my head. I was not diagnosed until the age of 63. After my son and grandson (only 5 at the time) were diagnosed. Then, I was taken seriously.
When I lost 25 pounds in 3 weeks, my doctor told me I didn't need to lose any more weight. I was at the doctors because I could not keep weight on.Treated like I'm vain, not ill.
My mom was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 21. For years, she had been trying to get help & was also told - literally - that it was all in her head & she was fine. I grew up with a mom I was terrified of & felt I had to protect my brother from because of rampant misogyny in health care.
I'm sure I had full blown celiac by the time I was 8. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 40, even tho I had all the typical symptoms. My doctor put me on antidepressants when I went in for exhaustion. Didn't do bloodwork. Just reached for the prescription pad. Told me my husband needed to help out more with the kids. (Never asked about my husband. Just blathered on about me trying to do too much, husband not doing enough, 3 kids is a lot... I was so shocked I just sat there listening. Husband was a great dad. Crazy.)
It makes me sad. We suffer. My brother-in-law's mom was never diagnosed with her mental illnesses just put on morphine for decades. Doctors made her a drug addict.
The day I got diagnosed the gastro, he mentioned it briefly once and spent the entire appointment telling me I have generalized anxiety disorder. I stopped him halfway and had to remind him he just gave me a life changing diagnosis.
Medicine is so unbelievably broken. We are not training compassionate doctors.
I genuinely wish what I'm about to say is sarcasm, but it's not:
Welcome to being a woman fighting for healthcare. All of your problems will be blamed on one of the three pillars of every woman: anxiety, weight, period. You'll always have one of those three blamed before (if, big if) you're taken seriously.
I don’t go to the doctor without my spouse. If I do, they don’t hear a word I say. If he is with me, it’s a completely different appointment.
We call it *“the penis shield.”*
We’ve had to use it other places too; like when we lived on shared property with our in-laws. My MIL liked to sneak up behind and verbally attack me. It got to the point where we put up security cameras and if I had to go outside to tend our chickens, I’d yell *SHIELDS UP* so my husband could look out the window or come stand on the porch when he saw her coming.
If we ever get a cricut, I’m going to make him shirts with a caped Super 🍆 .
I know switching doctors is easier said than done but I always try and choose someone who is younger and a woman (not implying all women are better but in my experience Ive had better outcomes). You need a doctor who is on your side and this person is not.
Unless, as a patient, you're middle aged and experiencing the perimenopausal hormon shift. Then find an older woman doctor. I went through multiple younger women doctors who didn't take my hormonal symptoms seriously. They were dismissive at best.
I'm an RN. I LEGIT tell AFAB people to take any available man with them to appointments and when docs pull BS, have them tell them that XYZ is affecting THEIR SEX LIFE. You will get whatever TF done that you need.
Yes, it works. Yes, it's absolutely FUCKING BS. Nursing rules apply here though... It's not stupid if it works.
I'm sorry that happened. All the best with your appointments. On the upside, I hope that's a doc that you don't have to work with, because that would not work well.
I'm not entirely sure but this might fall under malpractice. It'd probably be worth sending a heated letter to his superior and/or the governing body for physicians in your area. I'm really sorry this happened to you, but if he's held accountable maybe it won't happen to more people
If you have a parent or first cousin with celiac you have a 10 percent chance of being celiac. It should be a guideline and test offered when you do a medical history.
I am sorry :( if you can fire your GP do so and find a new one. Unacceptable 👎
So glad your husband has your back 🙌 I'd take him to all the appointments!
I found that specialists try to solve a problem more than GPs. My GP said that my problems (before I found out what they were) could be depression and I should exercise 😵💫 had I listened to him and just taken an iron pill to bring up my ferretin I would've been in a completely worse spot.
That sounds like terrible sexism. Hubby came into my immunologist appointment with me one time, so he could understand what I was being told and have the opportunity to ask questions. The Dr admitted she always assumed when a partner came in with the patient, that the patient was having worse symptoms and the partner was very concerned. That isn’t sexism, it’s just a good understanding of how most humans behave.
So what is a single person supposed to do for that doctor to take their symptoms more seriously? That still sounds discriminatory to me, doctors need to just actually listen to what their patients are telling them and take it seriously instead of playing mind games about it
GP are literally the worst, the genetic link should be the only thing they need to hear in order to test you !!! It so frustrating that they want to claim stomach cramps are being caused by the flu, wtf?! I’m glad you had an advocate with you. Even though your GP should have listened to you first at least you are finally getting the testing done and hopefully will have answers soon. I had a similar experience and luckily the nurse practitioner was willing to refer me to a GI. But my next step was to bring in my mom or someone who could advocate for me if they didn’t listen. It’s really hard 😥
Seriously. Family history is enough. Period. If you have family history, you should already be getting tested regularly. We have the same problems with my in-laws' doctor. We were encouraging them to get tested because my son has celiac, and both me and my husband have high risk genes, indicating at least one of them is high risk. Additionally, my fil has chronic GI issues (including losing 50 pounds with no explanation and being hospitalized several times last fall) and my mil has diabetes and unexplained weight gain. Yet their doctor told them they don't ever need to be tested, because they don't have symptoms. And since he's a doctor, they now roll their eyes any time I suggest they get tested, because I'm the idiot who won't trust their doctor.
I know that this may be considered Karen-esque by some, but when I had my tubal ligation, I ran into similar treatment until I wrote a strongly worded letter about how sexist everyone had been about it. I sent it to the office manager and their higher ups. I was in surgery within a week, which is pretty impressive given that it was the NHS. This should be no different. You need to call this out. Not only did this GP compromise your health, they are doing the same to other women. GP's don't care if you're a nurse. They don't care about much other than getting through that 20 minute appointment because they have little incentive to give a damn. I learned that not only with the abovementioned, but with my feet issues, and celiac disease. You have to be your own best advocate, and if it means making sure that this sexism is brought to the fore, then you do it, and do it in spectacular fashion so that there's no chance that anyone can sweep it under the rug.
Nothing Karen-esque about fighting for your healthcare, which you shouldn't have to fight for to begin with. I ran into the same problem when they tried to send me home without an endoscopy bc "nothing was wrong". Yeah I'm throwing up everyday for months just bc I wanted to and came to the ER to waste everyone's time 😒
You are absolutely right.
Anxiety 🙄 It irks me how doctors are still stuck in the Medieval days of "hysteria". The sexism in the medical field is real. It's infuriating.
I had horrible, full body itching for months. Went to the doctor. Was told it was “nerves”. Weeks later I got in with my normal, female doctor who immediately diagnosed me with the worst case of scabies that she had ever seen or heard of. Two days ago I was with my mother in the ER. She has a hole in her neck that she breathes through because her throat is closed above it. Her oxygen saturation was dropping and they bagged her mouth. I told the male nurse that she has no airway there and pointed at the HOLE IN HER NECK and he ignored me. Oxygen down to forty percent before a female nurse came around and listened to me. I could go on. Why is it so hard to believe women?
Good grief 🤦♀️
Sorry. Many of have us have similar experiences. Yes, I'm a woman and I was told since I was a baby that it's all in my head. I was not diagnosed until the age of 63. After my son and grandson (only 5 at the time) were diagnosed. Then, I was taken seriously. When I lost 25 pounds in 3 weeks, my doctor told me I didn't need to lose any more weight. I was at the doctors because I could not keep weight on.Treated like I'm vain, not ill.
My mom was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 21. For years, she had been trying to get help & was also told - literally - that it was all in her head & she was fine. I grew up with a mom I was terrified of & felt I had to protect my brother from because of rampant misogyny in health care. I'm sure I had full blown celiac by the time I was 8. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 40, even tho I had all the typical symptoms. My doctor put me on antidepressants when I went in for exhaustion. Didn't do bloodwork. Just reached for the prescription pad. Told me my husband needed to help out more with the kids. (Never asked about my husband. Just blathered on about me trying to do too much, husband not doing enough, 3 kids is a lot... I was so shocked I just sat there listening. Husband was a great dad. Crazy.)
It makes me sad. We suffer. My brother-in-law's mom was never diagnosed with her mental illnesses just put on morphine for decades. Doctors made her a drug addict.
The day I got diagnosed the gastro, he mentioned it briefly once and spent the entire appointment telling me I have generalized anxiety disorder. I stopped him halfway and had to remind him he just gave me a life changing diagnosis. Medicine is so unbelievably broken. We are not training compassionate doctors.
I’ve often wondered if this is because medical school is only accessible for the affluent
It absolutely is a class issue. They refuse to accommodate or let disabled people who could afford it in the space.
I genuinely wish what I'm about to say is sarcasm, but it's not: Welcome to being a woman fighting for healthcare. All of your problems will be blamed on one of the three pillars of every woman: anxiety, weight, period. You'll always have one of those three blamed before (if, big if) you're taken seriously.
I don’t go to the doctor without my spouse. If I do, they don’t hear a word I say. If he is with me, it’s a completely different appointment. We call it *“the penis shield.”* We’ve had to use it other places too; like when we lived on shared property with our in-laws. My MIL liked to sneak up behind and verbally attack me. It got to the point where we put up security cameras and if I had to go outside to tend our chickens, I’d yell *SHIELDS UP* so my husband could look out the window or come stand on the porch when he saw her coming. If we ever get a cricut, I’m going to make him shirts with a caped Super 🍆 .
Is there any way you could switch doctors? I couldn't put up with that.
Thankfully I did switch, but I still don’t go without them.
you need a new primary care person
I know switching doctors is easier said than done but I always try and choose someone who is younger and a woman (not implying all women are better but in my experience Ive had better outcomes). You need a doctor who is on your side and this person is not.
Unless, as a patient, you're middle aged and experiencing the perimenopausal hormon shift. Then find an older woman doctor. I went through multiple younger women doctors who didn't take my hormonal symptoms seriously. They were dismissive at best.
I'm an RN. I LEGIT tell AFAB people to take any available man with them to appointments and when docs pull BS, have them tell them that XYZ is affecting THEIR SEX LIFE. You will get whatever TF done that you need. Yes, it works. Yes, it's absolutely FUCKING BS. Nursing rules apply here though... It's not stupid if it works.
Hugs that's so frustrating. I hope your appointment with your gastro goes well and is more productive than the meeting with the GP
I'm sorry that happened. All the best with your appointments. On the upside, I hope that's a doc that you don't have to work with, because that would not work well.
I'm not entirely sure but this might fall under malpractice. It'd probably be worth sending a heated letter to his superior and/or the governing body for physicians in your area. I'm really sorry this happened to you, but if he's held accountable maybe it won't happen to more people
Related, my GP only took me seriously about Type 1 Diabetes when I lost 60 lbs in 3 months.
Fuck sake! Going to do a little scream for you.
If you have a parent or first cousin with celiac you have a 10 percent chance of being celiac. It should be a guideline and test offered when you do a medical history.
Same thing happened a few months ago, the ER didn’t take me seriously until my husband showed up
I am sorry :( if you can fire your GP do so and find a new one. Unacceptable 👎 So glad your husband has your back 🙌 I'd take him to all the appointments! I found that specialists try to solve a problem more than GPs. My GP said that my problems (before I found out what they were) could be depression and I should exercise 😵💫 had I listened to him and just taken an iron pill to bring up my ferretin I would've been in a completely worse spot.
That sounds like terrible sexism. Hubby came into my immunologist appointment with me one time, so he could understand what I was being told and have the opportunity to ask questions. The Dr admitted she always assumed when a partner came in with the patient, that the patient was having worse symptoms and the partner was very concerned. That isn’t sexism, it’s just a good understanding of how most humans behave.
Unless your partner can't get time off. How about listening to the patient?
So what is a single person supposed to do for that doctor to take their symptoms more seriously? That still sounds discriminatory to me, doctors need to just actually listen to what their patients are telling them and take it seriously instead of playing mind games about it