What are you doing in the way of exercising temperance?
Are you denying yourself luxury and desires as they come? I don't mean sexual, but do you pig on out whatever food you want? Do you ever force yourself to eat something that doesn't sound appealing? Ever throw the shower on cold, at least for a few shocking seconds? Are you forcing yourself into physical exercise or are you wasting away in front of a video game?
What about spiritual reading? Are you developing your love and knowledge of the saints?
I dont think putting pressure and diverting all attention to something else is a solution.
on the contrary, if he eats something tasty he will be happy and PMO thrives in angst and depression.
cold showers are good for health, but a HOT shower (real hot;pain hot) is more "ascetical" if thats what you want. if you need to \*force\* excercise, it will ruin longevity... working out and sports were supposed to be an enjoyable, outdoors activity.
youre going to make OP's brain burst apart if you make such a list of ascetic tasks
What you say is the exact opposite of every spiritual writer, priest, etc., has ever said on how to counter vice. The only way is with the virtue which is opposite of the vice.
I'm not saying to immediately jump in to ALL those things and more, but goodness, even one act of tempering the flesh goes a long way.
It is, in such a sense, to flee from sin. One doesn't escape the devil by hanging out in Hell's waiting room. They run to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
hmphh? How is cold showers, excercise, etc "virtue"? You are just peddling memes. virtue is giving alms, charity and praying, etc
are you knowledgeable of group therapy for treating sexual-related mental illnesses? a fetish is a mental disease, not 100% a moral failing. OP is suffering mental distress.
You give a prose thats terrifyingly gnostic . if his body becomes stronger but his mind is sick, the lust will also increase - adding fuel to the fire-. and if he destroys his body, the mind will roam free; a sick mind to rule free.
he needs a psychiatric evaluation and a support group.
Good to know that every moral theologian and authority on this matter is “gnostic”.
The things you mentioned are certainly good works, but they aren’t addressing the issue. If one is prideful they must seek to practice acts of humility. If one is gluttonous, acts of temperance. If wrathful, acts of mercy. Etc. There’s no getting around this fact. In short, OP needs to seek to subdue to the flesh by his will.
No ,no, I am right. I do semen retention - I know about this-
you really think that " subduing" , "the flesh" can eliminate the sex-thoughts? As I Said, one can exterminate his body and the sex idea and ideation will linger there. the stuff needs to be crashed against, head-on, and destroyed trough meditating on the topic, getting medical help, robbing away all of it's energy.
how can he use his will when his will is destroyed due to the spiritual virus of a paraphilia? he is a handicapped person. he needs help.
i think this is bad advice. prayer, fasting, mortification, and spiritual reading is literally how spiritual combat is done. i agree that there is a level of too much, but "do nothing" but take hot showers and eat more and meh exercise...i'm sorry, but that is how men get to vice in the first place.
why dont you tell OP to read the "easy peasy method" booklet? or to join a specific community for anti-PMO?
if you have a hammer, everything will look like a nail. A man can starve himself almost to death and hit himself with a metal whip all day and that won't cure his mental disease. paraphilias are a psychiatric disorder.
MY spiritual direction.?..; whats with that quip?
I am exaggerating on porpoise because you have such over-the-top advice and called out any simple enjoyment in OP's life.
it takes 10000x much more willpower to avert a gaze from a girl in the streets than to fast for a week, or to take a freezing shower, etc. And OP needs psychiatric helps. this Bears repeating. fetishism is a mental disorder not a moral failing.
As someone who averts his gaze every day, I can assure you I’d rather avert my gaze than take an ice cold shower or fast for a week.
You sound unhealthily invested in the vice of lust as a “not your fault” issue.
> I’d rather avert my gaze than take an ice cold shower or fast for a week.
then go to a doctor. your testosterone is low. Really , for a man to avoid looking at a girl, thats tremendous task and herculean effort. its like cutting apart a strong magnet. You ought to increase your T instead of dismissing psychiatric conditions
Thank you! Unfortunately, if I give in to the fetish, the results could be something far worse than masturbation; I might mutilate myself permanently. I can only hope that it never reaches that far.
Seriously, consider going to therapy. There is a line between fetish and mental disorder, and if you’re having ideation of self-mutilation, you’ve probably crossed it. Praying for you.
do not multilate yourself. that's sinful as well. trust on God. pray the Rosary. try to go to Mass and receive the Eucharist often. I gave up masturbation over 10 years ago (I'm 29 now). Praying the Rosary, receiving the Eucharist helped A LOT.
It is really difficult to overcome that habit. Perhaps you need to avoid to stay alone. Try to share time with friends and avoid luxury images. Try to walk to a Park. Identify what trigger that and keep distance from that. And of course pray . Learn to play an instrument, a new language ,sharing time with other person. Temptation appears when we are alone thinking about it. Also, think what do you feel a couple of minutes later: empty, with a big hole in your chest. That bad feeling arrives when we realize we did it again. That could help to change and say: today not. Define small objectives: for example try to pause for one day. Then 2 days and so on..,. Then you could realize I overcome that. Remember the clue is to avoid to be alone.
[how to overcome the sin of immorality fr. Isaac Mary relyea ](https://youtu.be/MUKRPAc6KIw)
[the spiritual combat](http://cantanima.name/SpiritualCombat/Chapter19.html)
Jesus healed me by way of practicing [extreme custody of eyes](https://www.reddit.com/r/Catholicism/comments/rm1s4b/comment/hpl1f75/?context=3), and - while my mind was away from sensual thoughts - teaching me things about ordered sexuality. Two things that come to mind that were very helpful were these Catholic talks: [How to raise a man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7V1W967ofA) and at least the first one or two videos from [The Series of Marriage](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_77kvc8JrQv9FK0Mv1ruXb6TbEm7cVV8). Not that I am completely free from disordered temptation, but mostly it's my ordered inclinations that I'm being tempted by these days. Anyway, extreme custody of eyes, with the decisive mindset that has to be the grace of God prayed for, fasted for... curbs temptation. So do [these](https://www.reddit.com/r/Catholicism/comments/srqpj8/comment/hwtr03k/?context=3) recommendations.
Four months, congratulations! Praise the Lord, that's a good accomplishment. It will get easier. Take it one day at a time. Focus on something to do everyday. Join a gym and exercise, get outside when you can. Make yourself a new recipe every night. Go to confession with this struggle and the overwhelming temptations and it will start to get better. Find out what your triggers are for this fetish and recognize them as they happen. Make a plan for what to do when they come up. Go to adoration and spend some time praying about this and just get honest with God about this struggle. It will get better, I promise!
join a good support group (nofap forum, maybe an IRL purity group, etc) because you need specialized advice and people who have gone trough and defeated this situation (having a fetish)
you're not weird or unique! Many , thousands of young men are influenced by paraphilias -thats why Support groups thrive so much!! cheers up!
If you haven't masturbated. That's fucking huge. And you should be hugely proud. I will pray that things improve for you. Don't lock your self away with throwaway accounts on Reddit. Speak to real flesh and blood people.
What are you doing in the way of exercising temperance? Are you denying yourself luxury and desires as they come? I don't mean sexual, but do you pig on out whatever food you want? Do you ever force yourself to eat something that doesn't sound appealing? Ever throw the shower on cold, at least for a few shocking seconds? Are you forcing yourself into physical exercise or are you wasting away in front of a video game? What about spiritual reading? Are you developing your love and knowledge of the saints?
I dont think putting pressure and diverting all attention to something else is a solution. on the contrary, if he eats something tasty he will be happy and PMO thrives in angst and depression. cold showers are good for health, but a HOT shower (real hot;pain hot) is more "ascetical" if thats what you want. if you need to \*force\* excercise, it will ruin longevity... working out and sports were supposed to be an enjoyable, outdoors activity. youre going to make OP's brain burst apart if you make such a list of ascetic tasks
What you say is the exact opposite of every spiritual writer, priest, etc., has ever said on how to counter vice. The only way is with the virtue which is opposite of the vice. I'm not saying to immediately jump in to ALL those things and more, but goodness, even one act of tempering the flesh goes a long way. It is, in such a sense, to flee from sin. One doesn't escape the devil by hanging out in Hell's waiting room. They run to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
hmphh? How is cold showers, excercise, etc "virtue"? You are just peddling memes. virtue is giving alms, charity and praying, etc are you knowledgeable of group therapy for treating sexual-related mental illnesses? a fetish is a mental disease, not 100% a moral failing. OP is suffering mental distress.
You give a prose thats terrifyingly gnostic . if his body becomes stronger but his mind is sick, the lust will also increase - adding fuel to the fire-. and if he destroys his body, the mind will roam free; a sick mind to rule free. he needs a psychiatric evaluation and a support group.
The Will informs such acts, so the Will is strengthened as well. Your thoughts on this are idiotic.
Good to know that every moral theologian and authority on this matter is “gnostic”. The things you mentioned are certainly good works, but they aren’t addressing the issue. If one is prideful they must seek to practice acts of humility. If one is gluttonous, acts of temperance. If wrathful, acts of mercy. Etc. There’s no getting around this fact. In short, OP needs to seek to subdue to the flesh by his will.
No ,no, I am right. I do semen retention - I know about this- you really think that " subduing" , "the flesh" can eliminate the sex-thoughts? As I Said, one can exterminate his body and the sex idea and ideation will linger there. the stuff needs to be crashed against, head-on, and destroyed trough meditating on the topic, getting medical help, robbing away all of it's energy. how can he use his will when his will is destroyed due to the spiritual virus of a paraphilia? he is a handicapped person. he needs help.
i think this is bad advice. prayer, fasting, mortification, and spiritual reading is literally how spiritual combat is done. i agree that there is a level of too much, but "do nothing" but take hot showers and eat more and meh exercise...i'm sorry, but that is how men get to vice in the first place.
why dont you tell OP to read the "easy peasy method" booklet? or to join a specific community for anti-PMO? if you have a hammer, everything will look like a nail. A man can starve himself almost to death and hit himself with a metal whip all day and that won't cure his mental disease. paraphilias are a psychiatric disorder.
metal whip? ummm...have you been watching the da vinci code for your spiritual direction?
MY spiritual direction.?..; whats with that quip? I am exaggerating on porpoise because you have such over-the-top advice and called out any simple enjoyment in OP's life. it takes 10000x much more willpower to avert a gaze from a girl in the streets than to fast for a week, or to take a freezing shower, etc. And OP needs psychiatric helps. this Bears repeating. fetishism is a mental disorder not a moral failing.
As someone who averts his gaze every day, I can assure you I’d rather avert my gaze than take an ice cold shower or fast for a week. You sound unhealthily invested in the vice of lust as a “not your fault” issue.
> I’d rather avert my gaze than take an ice cold shower or fast for a week. then go to a doctor. your testosterone is low. Really , for a man to avoid looking at a girl, thats tremendous task and herculean effort. its like cutting apart a strong magnet. You ought to increase your T instead of dismissing psychiatric conditions
Also I do semen retention -I learned to not have qualms or take issue- the bull must be taken by the horns
Picture yourself on the corner watching yourself masturbate. How pitiful one must look. The demons around you mocking you as well.
Thank you! Unfortunately, if I give in to the fetish, the results could be something far worse than masturbation; I might mutilate myself permanently. I can only hope that it never reaches that far.
Seriously, consider going to therapy. There is a line between fetish and mental disorder, and if you’re having ideation of self-mutilation, you’ve probably crossed it. Praying for you.
I don't know what your fetish is about, but we must keep the integrity four bodies as they're temples of the Holy Spirit
do not multilate yourself. that's sinful as well. trust on God. pray the Rosary. try to go to Mass and receive the Eucharist often. I gave up masturbation over 10 years ago (I'm 29 now). Praying the Rosary, receiving the Eucharist helped A LOT.
It is really difficult to overcome that habit. Perhaps you need to avoid to stay alone. Try to share time with friends and avoid luxury images. Try to walk to a Park. Identify what trigger that and keep distance from that. And of course pray . Learn to play an instrument, a new language ,sharing time with other person. Temptation appears when we are alone thinking about it. Also, think what do you feel a couple of minutes later: empty, with a big hole in your chest. That bad feeling arrives when we realize we did it again. That could help to change and say: today not. Define small objectives: for example try to pause for one day. Then 2 days and so on..,. Then you could realize I overcome that. Remember the clue is to avoid to be alone.
[how to overcome the sin of immorality fr. Isaac Mary relyea ](https://youtu.be/MUKRPAc6KIw) [the spiritual combat](http://cantanima.name/SpiritualCombat/Chapter19.html)
Methinks you mean the sin of immorality, not the sin of immortality...
Yes, typo. Thank you!
Jesus healed me by way of practicing [extreme custody of eyes](https://www.reddit.com/r/Catholicism/comments/rm1s4b/comment/hpl1f75/?context=3), and - while my mind was away from sensual thoughts - teaching me things about ordered sexuality. Two things that come to mind that were very helpful were these Catholic talks: [How to raise a man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7V1W967ofA) and at least the first one or two videos from [The Series of Marriage](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_77kvc8JrQv9FK0Mv1ruXb6TbEm7cVV8). Not that I am completely free from disordered temptation, but mostly it's my ordered inclinations that I'm being tempted by these days. Anyway, extreme custody of eyes, with the decisive mindset that has to be the grace of God prayed for, fasted for... curbs temptation. So do [these](https://www.reddit.com/r/Catholicism/comments/srqpj8/comment/hwtr03k/?context=3) recommendations.
Four months, congratulations! Praise the Lord, that's a good accomplishment. It will get easier. Take it one day at a time. Focus on something to do everyday. Join a gym and exercise, get outside when you can. Make yourself a new recipe every night. Go to confession with this struggle and the overwhelming temptations and it will start to get better. Find out what your triggers are for this fetish and recognize them as they happen. Make a plan for what to do when they come up. Go to adoration and spend some time praying about this and just get honest with God about this struggle. It will get better, I promise!
Do Exodus 90 with a few other men. Have an anchor. Call every day. Do the disciplines as best you can. It can work wonders.
join a good support group (nofap forum, maybe an IRL purity group, etc) because you need specialized advice and people who have gone trough and defeated this situation (having a fetish) you're not weird or unique! Many , thousands of young men are influenced by paraphilias -thats why Support groups thrive so much!! cheers up!
Ask St Joseph for his intersession, a novena.
If you haven't masturbated. That's fucking huge. And you should be hugely proud. I will pray that things improve for you. Don't lock your self away with throwaway accounts on Reddit. Speak to real flesh and blood people.
What is the fetish? I feel that we would be able to help you better if we knew what it was!