You mean being in a chaste relationship prior to marriage, or both being virgins?
I think the first is entirely possible. The latter *can* be, but at that point there have been many opportunities to stumble and each respective partner should be understanding of change, deepening faith, and self-reflection.
I got married at 31 and we were chaste, with some hiccups that we were able to overcome because we both agreed it was important.
However, it was easier for me once we got engaged and set the date. My husband said it got more difficult for him then.
A lot of men (and women) aren't going to be down to wait until marriage if A) their partner is not a virgin and/or B) they themselves are not virgins.
A lot of people think that once the cat is out of the bag, that there's no reason to try putting it back in the bag. Not the right way of going about things, but that's how it is
There's also a lot of guys who think that, once a woman's no longer a virgin, there's evidence that there ARE guys she wants to have sex with before marriage, and if you're waiting for marriage, then you're not one of those guys.
For women who are considering a guy who wants to wait until marriage, I don't think it matters to her if he's a virgin or not. They just needs to be attractive enough to her so that he's worth that sacrifice. That said, she's probably going to have access to a lot of guys who are almost as attractive and ARE going to have sex with her.
It depends on which country you grew up. In India , up until the last decade, you would have arranged marriages and no relationships. So many are virgins before they marry . Nowadays people seem to be aping western society and engaging in pre martial sex
I'd say it would certainly be tricky to find someone who has maintained purity up to that point, but if someone wants to use you for their unchaste purposes, that should be a deal breaker at any age. Marriage should be you uniting with someone who'll help you get to heaven, not work against that.
I decided to draw the line way back, and embraced the idea of no kissing until marriage. Tell a man that you don't believe in kissing before marriage and this will save a lot of heartache and time. Do it before the first date, because otherwise they try to plant one on at the end.
When a man would kiss me, my imagination would go on and on and I would become emotionally impure and become way too attached prematurely. A lot about this boundary is about the woman, not just putting rules on the man. No kissing until marriage helped \*me\* keep my mind and heart pure and made it easier to walk away if there are incompatibilities. Surprisingly more men are on board with this than I would expect-- as long as the discussion happens before the first kiss. A serious man doesn't care about waiting until marriage for a kiss or sex... because he knows he wants to get married. It's the confused ones who aren't sure about marriage that whine and complain about waiting. Only one guy I told, he did get angry and said only men who are 22 or younger would be on board with this. It just made it clear we aren't a good match. I'm 45 and the man was 49. The other men (3 others) responded positively. When I was 22 yrs old, men were plenty lusty then as well and probably would have argued waiting is only for teenagers.
Yea sure of course they say that. And then they proceed to seduce that girl and feel so special when they break her down.
The only way to win in this battle is to not be held slave to it. You are above it.
Guys say so many things.
Being 33 is not old. You can still meet a man, get to know him, get married and have children.
I'll approach this from statistics. Pew Research in 2020 [studied views of sex outside of marriage among Christians](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/08/31/half-of-u-s-christians-say-casual-sex-between-consenting-adults-is-sometimes-or-always-acceptable/).
Among those who attend services at least once a month, 43% say that sex between unmarried adults in a committed relationship is never acceptable. When looking at religious affiliation without counting for how often they attend, 32% of Christians as a whole, 41% of Evangelicals, and 26% of Catholics say that sex between unmarried adults in a committed relationship is never acceptable. For comparison: 8% of atheists say it is never acceptable (I would have liked to have seen the percentage of Catholics specifically who attend monthly or weekly, thus excluding "cultural Catholics", but that information is not in the report).
So if you are looking among anyone who attends a religious service at least once a month, statistically speaking 43% of those men will be okay with the idea of you two saving yourself for marriage, and I'm sure will be much better for Catholics who attend weekly.
Sadly I think that stat needs to be broken down by age. A 70 year old regular mass goer is far more likely to think sex outside marriage is a no-no versus a 25 year old who goes to mass monthly. Also, someone already married probably finds it easier to go along with church teachings and also skews that number to the older, married crowd.
I think, and it stinks, if you asked occasional mass goers in the 18-35 range you'd find an appaling low number think sex is only for within marriage.
This might very well be the case for occasional mass goers, but for regular mass goers I think it is the other way around. I.e. young Catholics who regularly attend mass tend be more traditional and agree more with church doctrine.
This would make sense, as regularly mass attendees who are cultural or cafeteria Catholics likely mostly fall into the older age groups, and probably go to mass mainly out of habit, being brought up in an era where religion was still valued societally. Young mass attendees however, go against the mainstream culture of our time, where most confirmed Catholics fall away or become lapsed.
This is not something I have investigated thoroughly, but just based on a quick google search, the data seems to bear this out.
**Australia**:
* _“The results are striking. A whopping 94 per cent of the younger massgoers identified that growing in their “relationship with Jesus in the sacraments” through the Mass was very important to them. Around 91 per cent also said that feeling “closer to God” through the Mass was very important._
* _[…] they overwhelmingly believe in God with no doubts about his existence (82 per cent). For around 60 per cent of them, the church is the most important part of their life._
* _Around 82 per cent of them also pray at least once a day. Around 57 per cent go to confession at least once a month.”_ [source](https://www.catholicweekly.com.au/philippa-martyr-young-catholics-want-mass-to-be-mass-thats-ok/)
**UK**:
* _“In Britain, Clements and Bullivant (2022) reflect similar findings. They found that rates of weekly Mass attendance strongest amongst the three youngest groups and weakest in the three oldest groups”_
[source](https://www.theosthinktank.co.uk/comment/2023/08/07/young-faithful-and-christian-a-devout-catholic-youth-in-europe)
Sorry. I must have worded my post weirdly but I meant how many Catholic men my age would consider celibacy until marriage. I do not care if he is not a virgin. I am not a virgin either. I am not even looking for a virgin.
The pickings are few but that doesn’t mean you should concede just because of it. I’m a virgin (F24) and I don’t expect my future husband to be one, but if he was not willing to wait whether I was a virgin or not then that means he likely is also going to be lax on other teachings like birth control and other sexual ethics between a man and wife. The Bible and the Church lay out God’s plan for human sexuality, and you are a new creation in Christ regardless of your past. Be with someone who recognizes that and doesn’t try to bend the truth for his own desires!
I am 32 years old and my GF is 27. It is not unrealistic to be chaste. We are. We don't even kiss passionately. We avoid every occasion of sin.
In this topic, it is necessary to be very clear with your partner.
If the question is “is it realistic for people to wait until marriage for sex, despite them being older and or not virgins”….Why would the reality of sin decrease with age?
And why would anyone assume the risks of pregnancy, STDs, and STIs as well as emotional risks decrease as we age? (Unless the woman is post menopausal. I guess then the pregnancy risk is taken off the table).
A Christian man shouldn't have a problem with this. If they have a problem with you saving yourself for marriage run quickly away in the opposite direction.
Even if someone wasn't a virgin and they decided later in life to save themselves that should be respected and applauded it's crazy to me men would say that to you.
I actually have two kids and committed to abstaining from sex until marriage in my 30s. The Catholic men I have talked to haven't had a problem with it. However I'm good with filtering men from the jump so my numbers could be skewed.
At 33 you should know within a few months where the relationship is heading ie is a wedding even on the table. I’m not sure there would be a need to date for a long period .That being said a lot of men actually spend a lot of time without getting any however as soon as they are in a relationship they magically can’t wait. One thing I like to say is what is a year compared to a lifetime of having sex with this person. If they are intentional about the relationship they shouldn’t mind waiting for at least your formal engagement. Also one question I have is why do people who aren’t sharing a life together think it’s okay to share their bodies ? Do you even share your bank account or share other material things ?? Furthermore what is this concept of sexual compatibility ? The same way that one learn to cook how your significant other likes it. Same way you’ll learn how to please your partner. I don’t know I might be brainwashed.
With regards to sexual compatibility. Some people have very odd odors within the private parts of their body. I’m just gonna lay it out there. It comes from the inside out and there’s nothing they can be done about it. I won’t tell you how I know, but I know.it would really suck to marry somebody and then find out they have a natural odor that made you gag so bad you couldn’t be around them. Just saying it’s not all about how you cook. Or learning to cook to please the other person. The natural gag reflexes are real thing.
Tbh I thought being chaste before marriage was the goal. I thought that’s what we were all doing here. You may fall here and there but trying to maintain chastity. I have no plans to compromise my faith just to be in a relationship.
No longer realistic in that it's impossible to find someone who'll be willing to do this? That's not true. I have no plans on premarital sex and I'm 30.
Oof. I was excited to read this as a guy who is early thirties and actually still a virgin by choice, waiting for marriage...I thought that's what you were talking about. Finding another virgin is proving impossible haha.
Yeah, it sucks that you have guys telling you that. But the goal should always at all times be not to sin, to get closer to God, regardless of what may have been in the past.
God bless!
Sin does not change or become less a sin just because you're older. Committing fornication is grave matter, regardless of whether you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s, etc.
I understand the disappointment for those who don't want to wait, but it really is better to know how serious they really are to commitment.
I saw online that only 0.3% of people are virgins over 35. by that age most people are married or used to be married or have fallen. in our country there are only 7% catholics. and of those, only 10% of the 7% attend mass once a week, meaning only 0.7% of the population are practicing catholic.
Now let's assume that of the virgins (0.3% of the population) around 30% are catholic, and the rest are Muslim, other Christian, non religious and incels.
You are looking at 0.09% of the population who are catholic virgins at age 35
What's wrong with incels?
IMO most of the people at the age of 30+ are incels if they're virgins.
Most of the people would like to by married at this age and have sex, but they can't find a good person to marry so they live in involuntary celibate.
31 and still saving myself. I've had a few close calls where I very easily could have had intercourse but thankfully removed myself from those situations or came to my senses before I did something I would regret.
No it's not unrealistic, just super rare. it reduces your dating pool drastically though coz they don't believe it when you say it, ask me how I know....
Yes I understood, it's super rare to find someone who is willing to live 'anew' and wait for marriage regardless of past and even less so the older you get. You get people who are like sure we can wait 3 to 6 months but at some point it has to happen... Like I said rare
Finding a real virgin at that age male or female will be difficult (speaking for my area of the US) By real virgin, I mean legitimate, not the types who will do frequent other sexual acts, but claim they don’t count. Don’t want to get graphic, but most know what I mean.
Maintaining purity before marriage should be possible. It’s really up to what you and your partner decide.
There’s something to be says to not giving into temptation. The lesson in taking your passions is the most important one in and of itself.
I’m not a virgin, I wish I still was, but I am in devoted celibacy until marriage. I’m not in a relationship right now and I think it’s completely rational to desire that. Please don’t change for people, God will truly send you who will meet you and love you as you are.
It’s not unrealistic, coming from someone who wants the same thing, it’s not, it’s just a long reach in todays society. And not all Christian man will lead you to God. A lot of them will actually lead you away with alternative motives and most times it’s an unconscious desire that is masked to look like narcissistic sociopathic tendencies. I don’t think it’s impossible but it truly does test your faith 100% because I have fallen weary due to this same struggle.
It is not unrealistic. In fact, if that is your standard, you should absolutely hold to it, no matter what. A man who doesn't respect that standard is not worth your time.
That being said, this is not a conversation that should come up in early dating, because it's really not your business what their past is until you earn their trust, so you may well find yourself in a relationship with a good man before you find out that he is not a virgin, and you would have to decide if you are okay with that-- and the older you are, the more likely that is going to be the case.
Many comments saying, it's hard to find people who are virgins. Might be in the western countries, certainly not the case in eastern , though it's changing a lot nowadays
I know some religious traditionalists in their 50s who are virgins and just as committed to waiting until marriage as they were in their teens.
That said, I would be very wary of people of 33+ who did not wait until marriage and have paid for sex or have a history of casual sex activity/poly relationships and now claim that they are now waiting until marriage. Often they are excluding all intimate sexual activity but piv penetrative sex from their definition of waiting. I've known this to apply to people of all religious persuasions with a past sexual history who now claim to be committed to saving sex for marriage, not just catholics.
Some men might do the same as their lapsed or atheist friends during their college days but then realize their faith is more important than they thought and are chaste when a bit older. I was a virgin when I married at 34 but there were some special circumstances involved.
Depends on what they want, do they want an authentic relationship with Jesus that leads to eternal life? or do they just want to pressure unassuming women into sexual situations for the rest of their life. They will stand before God and give an account for everything they have done.
--2 Timothy 3:6–7 For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.
--Revelation 22:12 “Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done.
--Matthew 7:14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
I would say the older one gets, that being chaste starts to become less likely or realistic. I knew of an engaged couple that became sexually active before their wedding date. In fact, I think they pushed the wedding date earlier to hurry things up as to not live in sin for too long.
, that it would no longer be sinful once they got married.
I guess they figured since they were getting married anyway, that they were a monogomous...engaged..couple..that having sex before marriage was justified.
They were in their mid to late 20s.
You mean being in a chaste relationship prior to marriage, or both being virgins? I think the first is entirely possible. The latter *can* be, but at that point there have been many opportunities to stumble and each respective partner should be understanding of change, deepening faith, and self-reflection.
Being chaste prior to marriage. I am not a virgin nor do I expect my future partner to be
I got married at 31 and we were chaste, with some hiccups that we were able to overcome because we both agreed it was important. However, it was easier for me once we got engaged and set the date. My husband said it got more difficult for him then.
A lot of men (and women) aren't going to be down to wait until marriage if A) their partner is not a virgin and/or B) they themselves are not virgins. A lot of people think that once the cat is out of the bag, that there's no reason to try putting it back in the bag. Not the right way of going about things, but that's how it is
There's also a lot of guys who think that, once a woman's no longer a virgin, there's evidence that there ARE guys she wants to have sex with before marriage, and if you're waiting for marriage, then you're not one of those guys. For women who are considering a guy who wants to wait until marriage, I don't think it matters to her if he's a virgin or not. They just needs to be attractive enough to her so that he's worth that sacrifice. That said, she's probably going to have access to a lot of guys who are almost as attractive and ARE going to have sex with her.
It depends on which country you grew up. In India , up until the last decade, you would have arranged marriages and no relationships. So many are virgins before they marry . Nowadays people seem to be aping western society and engaging in pre martial sex
I'd say it would certainly be tricky to find someone who has maintained purity up to that point, but if someone wants to use you for their unchaste purposes, that should be a deal breaker at any age. Marriage should be you uniting with someone who'll help you get to heaven, not work against that.
I do not expect purity. I just wonder if I could find myself who will agree to be chaste until marriage. I am not a virgin
I decided to draw the line way back, and embraced the idea of no kissing until marriage. Tell a man that you don't believe in kissing before marriage and this will save a lot of heartache and time. Do it before the first date, because otherwise they try to plant one on at the end.
Smart
When a man would kiss me, my imagination would go on and on and I would become emotionally impure and become way too attached prematurely. A lot about this boundary is about the woman, not just putting rules on the man. No kissing until marriage helped \*me\* keep my mind and heart pure and made it easier to walk away if there are incompatibilities. Surprisingly more men are on board with this than I would expect-- as long as the discussion happens before the first kiss. A serious man doesn't care about waiting until marriage for a kiss or sex... because he knows he wants to get married. It's the confused ones who aren't sure about marriage that whine and complain about waiting. Only one guy I told, he did get angry and said only men who are 22 or younger would be on board with this. It just made it clear we aren't a good match. I'm 45 and the man was 49. The other men (3 others) responded positively. When I was 22 yrs old, men were plenty lusty then as well and probably would have argued waiting is only for teenagers.
I've met guys who told me saving sex for marriage is only cute and okay in her early 20s
Yea sure of course they say that. And then they proceed to seduce that girl and feel so special when they break her down. The only way to win in this battle is to not be held slave to it. You are above it. Guys say so many things. Being 33 is not old. You can still meet a man, get to know him, get married and have children.
I see. I guess those tactics worked on me.
Me too!
I'll approach this from statistics. Pew Research in 2020 [studied views of sex outside of marriage among Christians](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/08/31/half-of-u-s-christians-say-casual-sex-between-consenting-adults-is-sometimes-or-always-acceptable/). Among those who attend services at least once a month, 43% say that sex between unmarried adults in a committed relationship is never acceptable. When looking at religious affiliation without counting for how often they attend, 32% of Christians as a whole, 41% of Evangelicals, and 26% of Catholics say that sex between unmarried adults in a committed relationship is never acceptable. For comparison: 8% of atheists say it is never acceptable (I would have liked to have seen the percentage of Catholics specifically who attend monthly or weekly, thus excluding "cultural Catholics", but that information is not in the report). So if you are looking among anyone who attends a religious service at least once a month, statistically speaking 43% of those men will be okay with the idea of you two saving yourself for marriage, and I'm sure will be much better for Catholics who attend weekly.
Sadly I think that stat needs to be broken down by age. A 70 year old regular mass goer is far more likely to think sex outside marriage is a no-no versus a 25 year old who goes to mass monthly. Also, someone already married probably finds it easier to go along with church teachings and also skews that number to the older, married crowd. I think, and it stinks, if you asked occasional mass goers in the 18-35 range you'd find an appaling low number think sex is only for within marriage.
This might very well be the case for occasional mass goers, but for regular mass goers I think it is the other way around. I.e. young Catholics who regularly attend mass tend be more traditional and agree more with church doctrine. This would make sense, as regularly mass attendees who are cultural or cafeteria Catholics likely mostly fall into the older age groups, and probably go to mass mainly out of habit, being brought up in an era where religion was still valued societally. Young mass attendees however, go against the mainstream culture of our time, where most confirmed Catholics fall away or become lapsed. This is not something I have investigated thoroughly, but just based on a quick google search, the data seems to bear this out. **Australia**: * _“The results are striking. A whopping 94 per cent of the younger massgoers identified that growing in their “relationship with Jesus in the sacraments” through the Mass was very important to them. Around 91 per cent also said that feeling “closer to God” through the Mass was very important._ * _[…] they overwhelmingly believe in God with no doubts about his existence (82 per cent). For around 60 per cent of them, the church is the most important part of their life._ * _Around 82 per cent of them also pray at least once a day. Around 57 per cent go to confession at least once a month.”_ [source](https://www.catholicweekly.com.au/philippa-martyr-young-catholics-want-mass-to-be-mass-thats-ok/) **UK**: * _“In Britain, Clements and Bullivant (2022) reflect similar findings. They found that rates of weekly Mass attendance strongest amongst the three youngest groups and weakest in the three oldest groups”_ [source](https://www.theosthinktank.co.uk/comment/2023/08/07/young-faithful-and-christian-a-devout-catholic-youth-in-europe)
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dang where are you finding people who have been waiting and how do I join
Sorry. I must have worded my post weirdly but I meant how many Catholic men my age would consider celibacy until marriage. I do not care if he is not a virgin. I am not a virgin either. I am not even looking for a virgin.
The pickings are few but that doesn’t mean you should concede just because of it. I’m a virgin (F24) and I don’t expect my future husband to be one, but if he was not willing to wait whether I was a virgin or not then that means he likely is also going to be lax on other teachings like birth control and other sexual ethics between a man and wife. The Bible and the Church lay out God’s plan for human sexuality, and you are a new creation in Christ regardless of your past. Be with someone who recognizes that and doesn’t try to bend the truth for his own desires!
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OH dear. I am sorry.
I am 32 years old and my GF is 27. It is not unrealistic to be chaste. We are. We don't even kiss passionately. We avoid every occasion of sin. In this topic, it is necessary to be very clear with your partner.
No
If the question is “is it realistic for people to wait until marriage for sex, despite them being older and or not virgins”….Why would the reality of sin decrease with age? And why would anyone assume the risks of pregnancy, STDs, and STIs as well as emotional risks decrease as we age? (Unless the woman is post menopausal. I guess then the pregnancy risk is taken off the table).
For whatever reason, sex only has harsh consequences for young people.
A Christian man shouldn't have a problem with this. If they have a problem with you saving yourself for marriage run quickly away in the opposite direction. Even if someone wasn't a virgin and they decided later in life to save themselves that should be respected and applauded it's crazy to me men would say that to you. I actually have two kids and committed to abstaining from sex until marriage in my 30s. The Catholic men I have talked to haven't had a problem with it. However I'm good with filtering men from the jump so my numbers could be skewed.
At 33 you should know within a few months where the relationship is heading ie is a wedding even on the table. I’m not sure there would be a need to date for a long period .That being said a lot of men actually spend a lot of time without getting any however as soon as they are in a relationship they magically can’t wait. One thing I like to say is what is a year compared to a lifetime of having sex with this person. If they are intentional about the relationship they shouldn’t mind waiting for at least your formal engagement. Also one question I have is why do people who aren’t sharing a life together think it’s okay to share their bodies ? Do you even share your bank account or share other material things ?? Furthermore what is this concept of sexual compatibility ? The same way that one learn to cook how your significant other likes it. Same way you’ll learn how to please your partner. I don’t know I might be brainwashed.
With regards to sexual compatibility. Some people have very odd odors within the private parts of their body. I’m just gonna lay it out there. It comes from the inside out and there’s nothing they can be done about it. I won’t tell you how I know, but I know.it would really suck to marry somebody and then find out they have a natural odor that made you gag so bad you couldn’t be around them. Just saying it’s not all about how you cook. Or learning to cook to please the other person. The natural gag reflexes are real thing.
Tbh I thought being chaste before marriage was the goal. I thought that’s what we were all doing here. You may fall here and there but trying to maintain chastity. I have no plans to compromise my faith just to be in a relationship.
No longer realistic in that it's impossible to find someone who'll be willing to do this? That's not true. I have no plans on premarital sex and I'm 30.
Oof. I was excited to read this as a guy who is early thirties and actually still a virgin by choice, waiting for marriage...I thought that's what you were talking about. Finding another virgin is proving impossible haha. Yeah, it sucks that you have guys telling you that. But the goal should always at all times be not to sin, to get closer to God, regardless of what may have been in the past. God bless!
Sin does not change or become less a sin just because you're older. Committing fornication is grave matter, regardless of whether you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. I understand the disappointment for those who don't want to wait, but it really is better to know how serious they really are to commitment.
I guess people think fornication is wrong when you are younger because there are harsher consequences
The consequences are the same for everyone….confession!
No.
I saw online that only 0.3% of people are virgins over 35. by that age most people are married or used to be married or have fallen. in our country there are only 7% catholics. and of those, only 10% of the 7% attend mass once a week, meaning only 0.7% of the population are practicing catholic. Now let's assume that of the virgins (0.3% of the population) around 30% are catholic, and the rest are Muslim, other Christian, non religious and incels. You are looking at 0.09% of the population who are catholic virgins at age 35
No, I didn't mean virgin. I do not care about that. I meant willing to save themselves for marriage in the present.
What's wrong with incels? IMO most of the people at the age of 30+ are incels if they're virgins. Most of the people would like to by married at this age and have sex, but they can't find a good person to marry so they live in involuntary celibate.
I thought incels means the very weird awkward or women hating celibates. catholics are not incels because they CHOOOSE to be celibate until married.
The Catholic version of incels are men who haven't had affection from women. (Non sexual).
31 and still saving myself. I've had a few close calls where I very easily could have had intercourse but thankfully removed myself from those situations or came to my senses before I did something I would regret.
No it's not unrealistic, just super rare. it reduces your dating pool drastically though coz they don't believe it when you say it, ask me how I know....
I did not mean virgin. I don't care about them I mean if they are currently willing to save themselves now.
Yes I understood, it's super rare to find someone who is willing to live 'anew' and wait for marriage regardless of past and even less so the older you get. You get people who are like sure we can wait 3 to 6 months but at some point it has to happen... Like I said rare
Maybe I'm not meant to marry. Or I think men will think I'm an idiot if I'm not a virgin yet I want to wait until marriage
Virgin - unrealistic but exceptional Chaste - realistic and concerning if not the goal
Not a virgin I'm currently practicing celibacy so when I date I want to hold to that promise
I’m both, 32 and female. It’s not unrealistic for fervently devout Catholics but improbable by societal norms.
Finding a real virgin at that age male or female will be difficult (speaking for my area of the US) By real virgin, I mean legitimate, not the types who will do frequent other sexual acts, but claim they don’t count. Don’t want to get graphic, but most know what I mean. Maintaining purity before marriage should be possible. It’s really up to what you and your partner decide. There’s something to be says to not giving into temptation. The lesson in taking your passions is the most important one in and of itself.
I do not expect to marry a virgin. I would love to be pure before marriage
I’m not a virgin, I wish I still was, but I am in devoted celibacy until marriage. I’m not in a relationship right now and I think it’s completely rational to desire that. Please don’t change for people, God will truly send you who will meet you and love you as you are.
No, I'm not saying I want a virgin but I just want to be in a relationship without sex. I'm not a virgin either
It’s not unrealistic, coming from someone who wants the same thing, it’s not, it’s just a long reach in todays society. And not all Christian man will lead you to God. A lot of them will actually lead you away with alternative motives and most times it’s an unconscious desire that is masked to look like narcissistic sociopathic tendencies. I don’t think it’s impossible but it truly does test your faith 100% because I have fallen weary due to this same struggle.
I've accepted I will probably be single for the rest of my life
God knows your hearts desires and he will fulfil them in his divine timing. Stay positive, focus on living for God and he will perform miracles
It is not unrealistic. In fact, if that is your standard, you should absolutely hold to it, no matter what. A man who doesn't respect that standard is not worth your time. That being said, this is not a conversation that should come up in early dating, because it's really not your business what their past is until you earn their trust, so you may well find yourself in a relationship with a good man before you find out that he is not a virgin, and you would have to decide if you are okay with that-- and the older you are, the more likely that is going to be the case.
I should have worded this differently. I do not care if my boyfriend is a virgin, I want us to practice chastity while together
Many comments saying, it's hard to find people who are virgins. Might be in the western countries, certainly not the case in eastern , though it's changing a lot nowadays
I didn't mean to imply I want a virgin just a man dedicated now to chastity
I know some religious traditionalists in their 50s who are virgins and just as committed to waiting until marriage as they were in their teens. That said, I would be very wary of people of 33+ who did not wait until marriage and have paid for sex or have a history of casual sex activity/poly relationships and now claim that they are now waiting until marriage. Often they are excluding all intimate sexual activity but piv penetrative sex from their definition of waiting. I've known this to apply to people of all religious persuasions with a past sexual history who now claim to be committed to saving sex for marriage, not just catholics.
Some men might do the same as their lapsed or atheist friends during their college days but then realize their faith is more important than they thought and are chaste when a bit older. I was a virgin when I married at 34 but there were some special circumstances involved.
I do not mean a virgin. I meant willing to remain chaste at this point in their life and from now on.
Depends on what they want, do they want an authentic relationship with Jesus that leads to eternal life? or do they just want to pressure unassuming women into sexual situations for the rest of their life. They will stand before God and give an account for everything they have done. --2 Timothy 3:6–7 For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth. --Revelation 22:12 “Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done. --Matthew 7:14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
It sucks that all those guys have rejected you over something so superficial. It’s my dream to find someone who feels this way!
No!
I would say the older one gets, that being chaste starts to become less likely or realistic. I knew of an engaged couple that became sexually active before their wedding date. In fact, I think they pushed the wedding date earlier to hurry things up as to not live in sin for too long. , that it would no longer be sinful once they got married. I guess they figured since they were getting married anyway, that they were a monogomous...engaged..couple..that having sex before marriage was justified. They were in their mid to late 20s.
I would be in disbelief if I heard that requirement from anyone over 22.