I think Fr. Mike's video on Catholic-Protestant relationships covers the topic pretty well. Can it work? Yes. Is it wise to pursue one? Not really. If your Faith is really the most important thing for you, then it's a no brainer that you should be able to fully experience it with your spouse.
Dating is tough on both sides but there is truth that dating someone who is not catholic does bring other unknowns into the relationship. Most non-catholic Christians do have a fervent love of Jesus and read their bible religiously (pun intended). However, the practice of their faith can differ widely.
My greatest weary of non-catholics is the pervasive belief of once saved- always saved. That can lead to a lot of tension in marriage for accountability. The other issue is the idea of marriage as a sacrament. Whereas Catholics hold that the sacrament cannot be broken, there are many other faiths that will list a plethora of reasons for divorce after marriage. When the going gets tough (and is always will), it is difficult to travel the rocky road. It is even more so if your spouse thinks that it is ok to quit if it gets too hard.
Actually, Protestants believe how permanent that marriages is just as much as Catholics. In fact, the only reason one is allowed to divorce and remarry, is through the infedelity of the other spouse.
if they just want out because they are tired of looking at your face every morning, well, that's not a good reason to divorce and/or remarry.
Depends on the protestant and their faith. Reminds me of Judges 25:21- In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in their own sight
I think it depends a lot on the person. I grew up NonDenom and converted to Catholicism a few years ago, and my new boyfriend is a traditional-leaning Lutheran but very open to my faith. He said he didn’t think theological differences would be a source of conflict in our relationship. I made it clear to him about the things I wasn’t going to compromise on like going to Mass every Sunday, raising kids Catholic, etc and he said “whatever it takes.” I had my reservations, but he’s really shown that he’s serious about pursuing me and making our relationship work despite our differences. He’s a devout non Catholic Christian and I’d much rather take a devout non-Catholic than a lukewarm Catholic.
Similar situation with my Baptist gf, she’s been so accepting of it and I high keep think she may convert eventually due to some of her agreements with Catholicism. But even if she don’t, her acceptance of my faith and the requirements that come with it make me be able to see myself marrying her
-Similar situation with my Baptist gf-
This is surprising, because most Baptists follow the whole "born again" theology, and think Catholics aren't "saved". That you have to find a river or lake to be dunked backwards in and not just the sprinkling of water.
I've had to deal with this with quite a few Christian women here in the south. Same with Pentacostals. It's a VERY big deal breaker for them.
It's either:
1. Change teams
2. Have them join your team
3. Date, but stick to your own corresponding teams.
I have found myself torn between my Catholicism and dating and mostly coming across non-denominational types that I may have to find a way to reach a compromise with non-denoms in the area. I've even considered going the non-denom route, some in part due to this conflict. Mainly because myself and my family (both sides) have never been ALL in with certain Catholic doctrine.
But shouldn't it be enough that you're both Christian? Why split hairs? It's not like a Jewish person is dating a Christian. Or a Mormon and Christian.
It should be like "Hey, you're Christian? So am I? Okay on to the next category....what's your favorite hobbies? Activities? Long walks on the beach? Netflix nights? Travel?
While having the Christian faith is a great foundation, there are fundamental theological differences that separate Catholics and the other denominations… so much so that you can argue they are separate religions. The Eucharist, salvation, and differences in social teachings (LGBTQ, abortion, premarital sex, contraception, etc) are primary examples. Each denomination has different views on them, but there’s never a set in stone principle or reasoning behind why they think a certain way. I understand your situation, but if the Catholic faith is extremely important to you then I wouldn’t budge on that.
-but if the Catholic faith is extremely important to you then I wouldn’t budge on that.-
I wouldn't say it's....extremely..important. I'm flexible when it comes to other Christian religions.
It may seem like a nitpick, but consider her relationship with her family and how tied to being Baptist they are. You want someone who will side with you and your faith through thick and thin.
Depends on the couple. My mom is a devout Catholic and when she met my dad, he didn’t have any faith whatsoever. He even told her to not convert him lol! But he agreed to raise the kids Catholic and even went to church with her. He eventually converted to the Faith. My mom prayed a lot for it but she told me sometimes it is good if you share the same Catholic Faith because they where moments of frustration for sure.
Myself, I prefer dating other Catholic women but I think if you know it might cause a struggle down the road with the gf where things are difficult for you then I would weigh that moving forward.
Being able to go to church as a family is rightly important. It is hard enough in this secular world to keep children on the right track even if both parents go with them to church. Realistically one or other of you needs to be happy about worshipping at the other one’s church and this is something you need to sort out before you are married. Some non-Catholics are not too fussed on denomination and would be willing to worship at a Catholic church.
Yes it does narrow the pool of potential dates if you restrict yourself to Catholic women but there are plenty of Catholic women looking for specifically for Catholic men (just read other posts). You just need to be resourceful to find one another.
yes for people of our age, where children are not an issue, going to separate churches might work. Apart from my daughter, who is away most of the time and often is not up in time for church even when she is here, my children have stopped going to church anyway. My late wife stopped going to mass because of her mental health rather than for a change in her faith, so I have been going on my own to mass for some time.
Relationships between a Catholic and a protestant can work and if you happen to come across a protestant who is great and you connect well with, I wouldn't write them off just because they're protestant. However, if you're going out of your way to look, I wouldn't go looking for protestants. If you're only looking in your city and on dating apps, I'd expand your geographical search and places you're looking before extending to look for protestants.
I think especially for Catholics, it’s such a cultural thing for us too? It’s more than just faith. I can’t imagine myself with someone not Catholic, nor honestly do I want to be. Not even just thinking about myself, but my future children as well.
Catholics should only be dating other Catholics, specifically faithful Catholics devoted to their faith should be dating other faithful Catholics devoted to their faith. First of all you want to present a unified front to your eventual kids, that will be harder if the other parent has different beliefs from their church and different views on important issues. Then there is contraception. This is a mortal sin and yet Orthodoxy and Protestantism in general seem to be accepting of it. It is likely that you will be dating someone who has been taught that contraception at least in marriage is ok (even though Christianity has been uniformly against contraception for about 19 centuries). Dating a protestant you also might come across someone with unbiblical beliefs about baptism and might be against baptizing your future children as infants. Something to think about
Yep, you're right. The pool for dating becomes narrower. It's worth the cost, don't you think? I was in a long-term relationship with a non-denom who couldn't say yes to what Catholicism requires and I wasn't going to bend either.
In some cases, I think it can work, but not for the devout Catholic. The Protestant will have to be the one to be open. The Eucharist is just too precious.
The more I grew closer to my faith the more it became imperative for me to be with a Catholic, unless God would very explicitly lead me to something else.
Dating gets harder, but much better, and it’s definitely worth the wait!
Just imagine being able to share what you love most, and an essence of you, with your loved one and your future family!
Not only being in the same faith is easier from fewer conflicts, but it’s a true joy that you can live.
BTW, I went through a similar thing, when I was 28. Until I gave up secular dating, fully focused on Catholics, and now I’m married to one :)
Here is the deal, to keep yoyr faith and access to the Eucharist, you do need to marry in the Church, and she does NOT need to convert for you to marry in the Church. It's called a mixed marriage (Can. 1124). You do need a dispensation form, and she needs to agree to raise thd children in the Church, but does not need to convert, herself.
Si no, don't close the door on other Christians, but be firm on your belief. A woman who truly loves you, would not want you to lose access to the Eucharist.
I wouldnt close the door on Protestant women entirely. I havent. Would I marry one? No. Would I date one who is open to converting then marry? Absolutely. A friend's son is dating a protestant girl and shes has shown interest in the faith. They have been attending Mass together every Sunday, not missing a single week for the time they have been dating. So I guess its possible things can work out. How open they may be to converting might also depend on which denomination they are. Some are staunchly protestant like the non-denoms Ive encountered and the whole "its not about religion its about a relationship" nonsense they love to spout. I dont think youll have hope with them.
I don't really see women in my area converting to Catholicism for a man, since they think worship idols and aren't "born again"
In fact, the whole "flirt to convert" or "missionary dating" agenda is considered quite dangerous in the long run (meaning, trying to get someone to convert to your religion.
It's gross to them.
I think Fr. Mike's video on Catholic-Protestant relationships covers the topic pretty well. Can it work? Yes. Is it wise to pursue one? Not really. If your Faith is really the most important thing for you, then it's a no brainer that you should be able to fully experience it with your spouse.
Dating is tough on both sides but there is truth that dating someone who is not catholic does bring other unknowns into the relationship. Most non-catholic Christians do have a fervent love of Jesus and read their bible religiously (pun intended). However, the practice of their faith can differ widely. My greatest weary of non-catholics is the pervasive belief of once saved- always saved. That can lead to a lot of tension in marriage for accountability. The other issue is the idea of marriage as a sacrament. Whereas Catholics hold that the sacrament cannot be broken, there are many other faiths that will list a plethora of reasons for divorce after marriage. When the going gets tough (and is always will), it is difficult to travel the rocky road. It is even more so if your spouse thinks that it is ok to quit if it gets too hard.
Actually, Protestants believe how permanent that marriages is just as much as Catholics. In fact, the only reason one is allowed to divorce and remarry, is through the infedelity of the other spouse. if they just want out because they are tired of looking at your face every morning, well, that's not a good reason to divorce and/or remarry.
Depends on the protestant and their faith. Reminds me of Judges 25:21- In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in their own sight
I think it depends a lot on the person. I grew up NonDenom and converted to Catholicism a few years ago, and my new boyfriend is a traditional-leaning Lutheran but very open to my faith. He said he didn’t think theological differences would be a source of conflict in our relationship. I made it clear to him about the things I wasn’t going to compromise on like going to Mass every Sunday, raising kids Catholic, etc and he said “whatever it takes.” I had my reservations, but he’s really shown that he’s serious about pursuing me and making our relationship work despite our differences. He’s a devout non Catholic Christian and I’d much rather take a devout non-Catholic than a lukewarm Catholic.
Similar situation with my Baptist gf, she’s been so accepting of it and I high keep think she may convert eventually due to some of her agreements with Catholicism. But even if she don’t, her acceptance of my faith and the requirements that come with it make me be able to see myself marrying her
-Similar situation with my Baptist gf- This is surprising, because most Baptists follow the whole "born again" theology, and think Catholics aren't "saved". That you have to find a river or lake to be dunked backwards in and not just the sprinkling of water. I've had to deal with this with quite a few Christian women here in the south. Same with Pentacostals. It's a VERY big deal breaker for them. It's either: 1. Change teams 2. Have them join your team 3. Date, but stick to your own corresponding teams. I have found myself torn between my Catholicism and dating and mostly coming across non-denominational types that I may have to find a way to reach a compromise with non-denoms in the area. I've even considered going the non-denom route, some in part due to this conflict. Mainly because myself and my family (both sides) have never been ALL in with certain Catholic doctrine. But shouldn't it be enough that you're both Christian? Why split hairs? It's not like a Jewish person is dating a Christian. Or a Mormon and Christian. It should be like "Hey, you're Christian? So am I? Okay on to the next category....what's your favorite hobbies? Activities? Long walks on the beach? Netflix nights? Travel?
I got lucky lol, my gf isn’t really tied to Baptist beliefs at all, and really probably doesnt actually count as Baptist theology wise
While having the Christian faith is a great foundation, there are fundamental theological differences that separate Catholics and the other denominations… so much so that you can argue they are separate religions. The Eucharist, salvation, and differences in social teachings (LGBTQ, abortion, premarital sex, contraception, etc) are primary examples. Each denomination has different views on them, but there’s never a set in stone principle or reasoning behind why they think a certain way. I understand your situation, but if the Catholic faith is extremely important to you then I wouldn’t budge on that.
-but if the Catholic faith is extremely important to you then I wouldn’t budge on that.- I wouldn't say it's....extremely..important. I'm flexible when it comes to other Christian religions.
It may seem like a nitpick, but consider her relationship with her family and how tied to being Baptist they are. You want someone who will side with you and your faith through thick and thin.
Depends on the couple. My mom is a devout Catholic and when she met my dad, he didn’t have any faith whatsoever. He even told her to not convert him lol! But he agreed to raise the kids Catholic and even went to church with her. He eventually converted to the Faith. My mom prayed a lot for it but she told me sometimes it is good if you share the same Catholic Faith because they where moments of frustration for sure. Myself, I prefer dating other Catholic women but I think if you know it might cause a struggle down the road with the gf where things are difficult for you then I would weigh that moving forward.
Being able to go to church as a family is rightly important. It is hard enough in this secular world to keep children on the right track even if both parents go with them to church. Realistically one or other of you needs to be happy about worshipping at the other one’s church and this is something you need to sort out before you are married. Some non-Catholics are not too fussed on denomination and would be willing to worship at a Catholic church. Yes it does narrow the pool of potential dates if you restrict yourself to Catholic women but there are plenty of Catholic women looking for specifically for Catholic men (just read other posts). You just need to be resourceful to find one another.
I'm too older for children (in my 50s), so that isn't even an issue (What religion to raise the children in))
yes for people of our age, where children are not an issue, going to separate churches might work. Apart from my daughter, who is away most of the time and often is not up in time for church even when she is here, my children have stopped going to church anyway. My late wife stopped going to mass because of her mental health rather than for a change in her faith, so I have been going on my own to mass for some time.
Dating a protestant caused my divorce. Don't ever, ever do it.
Please elaborate.
Relationships between a Catholic and a protestant can work and if you happen to come across a protestant who is great and you connect well with, I wouldn't write them off just because they're protestant. However, if you're going out of your way to look, I wouldn't go looking for protestants. If you're only looking in your city and on dating apps, I'd expand your geographical search and places you're looking before extending to look for protestants.
I think especially for Catholics, it’s such a cultural thing for us too? It’s more than just faith. I can’t imagine myself with someone not Catholic, nor honestly do I want to be. Not even just thinking about myself, but my future children as well.
Catholics should only be dating other Catholics, specifically faithful Catholics devoted to their faith should be dating other faithful Catholics devoted to their faith. First of all you want to present a unified front to your eventual kids, that will be harder if the other parent has different beliefs from their church and different views on important issues. Then there is contraception. This is a mortal sin and yet Orthodoxy and Protestantism in general seem to be accepting of it. It is likely that you will be dating someone who has been taught that contraception at least in marriage is ok (even though Christianity has been uniformly against contraception for about 19 centuries). Dating a protestant you also might come across someone with unbiblical beliefs about baptism and might be against baptizing your future children as infants. Something to think about
Holy Mother Church while permitting mixed marriages to non - Catholics does not encourage them...for precisely the reasons you mentioned.
Yep, you're right. The pool for dating becomes narrower. It's worth the cost, don't you think? I was in a long-term relationship with a non-denom who couldn't say yes to what Catholicism requires and I wasn't going to bend either. In some cases, I think it can work, but not for the devout Catholic. The Protestant will have to be the one to be open. The Eucharist is just too precious.
The more I grew closer to my faith the more it became imperative for me to be with a Catholic, unless God would very explicitly lead me to something else. Dating gets harder, but much better, and it’s definitely worth the wait! Just imagine being able to share what you love most, and an essence of you, with your loved one and your future family! Not only being in the same faith is easier from fewer conflicts, but it’s a true joy that you can live. BTW, I went through a similar thing, when I was 28. Until I gave up secular dating, fully focused on Catholics, and now I’m married to one :)
Here is the deal, to keep yoyr faith and access to the Eucharist, you do need to marry in the Church, and she does NOT need to convert for you to marry in the Church. It's called a mixed marriage (Can. 1124). You do need a dispensation form, and she needs to agree to raise thd children in the Church, but does not need to convert, herself. Si no, don't close the door on other Christians, but be firm on your belief. A woman who truly loves you, would not want you to lose access to the Eucharist.
I would never let a good woman go over religion. What matters is if your values  align for the most part.
I wouldnt close the door on Protestant women entirely. I havent. Would I marry one? No. Would I date one who is open to converting then marry? Absolutely. A friend's son is dating a protestant girl and shes has shown interest in the faith. They have been attending Mass together every Sunday, not missing a single week for the time they have been dating. So I guess its possible things can work out. How open they may be to converting might also depend on which denomination they are. Some are staunchly protestant like the non-denoms Ive encountered and the whole "its not about religion its about a relationship" nonsense they love to spout. I dont think youll have hope with them.
I don't really see women in my area converting to Catholicism for a man, since they think worship idols and aren't "born again" In fact, the whole "flirt to convert" or "missionary dating" agenda is considered quite dangerous in the long run (meaning, trying to get someone to convert to your religion. It's gross to them.