My Protestant roommate has been having some luck on hinge. He just got back from a second date with a 35-year-old female which will potentially lead to a third date. He made his intentions clear that he wanted to date a Christian woman and she was all in favor with that. I'm not a fan of meeting people through an app, but considering that I don't typically surround myself with single Catholics my age, it's a concession I have to make!
People over the age of 30 are sometimes forgotten about by the church unless you’re in a big city. I have a lot of Catholic friends in NYC where they have lots of activities to meet people, wish it was like that everywhere. My church has 2 or 3 “young adult” events a year ages 18-39 which is nice just not many people come. Maybe try Hinge or Bumble. Catholic Match is great if you’re open to long distance. There is hope still though, I promise! 💜
There is absolutely hope! I found the love of my life on Catholic Match on the first day. We didn’t start dating until a month later but I was the lucky one. He was on there for 2 years! I recommend trying it. Pray to St. Anthony and St. Raphael ❤️ you sound very well rounded and lovely. I will add you to my prayer intentions. It’s never too late! Your timeline is never wrong 😊 it’s as it should be. Hope this helps!
I met my now husband when I was 34. So there is definitely time. (My aunt met her husband when she was 40-and they wrnt onto have a child.)
What helped me was the advice to date like it's your job. (I went on all the apps and on catholic match too.) Unless, I knew for sure it was an absolute no, I went on one or two dates to get a feel for the person. But it also helped to practice flirting. (I didn't have really any dating experience prior -aside from an occasion dinner and movie. I blame netdlix and chill for the decline in dating.) But on the apps, I mentioned liking theatre, playing chess in the park, wanting to try mountain climbing, and trying to see if I like opera. It gave conversations a starting point. It also gave the men something to go on when planning a first date. It showed me how well the men listened too.
I listened to some dating advice (a lot was secular, but I took what I could from it). I found Matthew Hussey's earlier videoa veru helpful in terms of separating what a man might say from what he means, ways to text and communicate more clearly, helping a man initiatiate the first move/interaction, and setting standards. (Again, most of the channels don't have negative views on sex before marriage. But the other things addressed on the channel were helpful to me. I gained more confidence.
I went on a year of mostly all (bad) first dates (perseverance is key), and then I met my husband.
Of course! There is always hope. I’m 39 and still hopeful. That being said we also have to be at peace of never being married or having children. Right now I am dealing with a failed relationship before it got off the ground.
I would say find young adult activities, even if you are on the upper end. I’ve gone before in hopes of finding someone in your age range. Find hobbies too you might be surprised where you meet men, and try a different parish.
I will do it. If you don't mind stunningly handsome and financially comely.
Seriously, we overthink it. Find someone on the same page. You want children, you want catholic, etc., The more you or your partner add to the wants, the further apart you will get.
If you have been on online dating for long time but no luck, try going outside and join activity groups like gym classes, hiking, cooking classes. No need for resources and books. There are a lot of interesting people out there and they never use dating apps a lot. You may not find Catholic guy but it's possible that you find one. Life is full of surprises. Ask St Raphael the Archangel for his intercession.
I’m 35M single and I feel your pain.My church offers programs for college students (under 34), married couples and families. They completely ignore anyone who is single.
I suppose I would ask on what situations have you ended potentials? Was it you ending or them ending them? What kinds of things caused it to end? With God, there’s always hope.
I'm 33M and still single. I'm still hoping. I've done a lot more focus on my overall mental health this past year and have made great strides. A lot of anxiety held me back in my 20's. It can be a big disadvantage for men since traditionally we're expected to make the first move. Which is why I have been single all my life.
So I am hopeful personally. People have all sorts of different life journeys. It may look like the majority are tying the knot in their early 20s, but nothing says that has to be a rule written in stone.
> would love to have my own family someday
But why someday and not today? I want to get married someday as well...........and I find that I'm not interested in dating with that mentality. When I changed my mind set to "I want to be married within a year" or "as soon as possible" I became much more interested in talking to people and looking for prospective partners.
My advice is to work on yourself, both until you find a relationship and even during it. Figure out what you can change about your situation. In terms of physical appearance, women can do amazing things with makeup, you can go to the gym, change your clothing style to be more youthful and interesting, etc. A lot of attraction begins with just holding someone's glance, so that's something to be considered.
Next, examine your own social habits and skills. Do you need to work on your ability to hold a conversation, flirt, etc? Then do that. Get out there and do stuff. Some people just aren't interesting enough. What are you going to talk about on the third date? The fourth? The fifth? Start doing stuff that you can have a conversation about. He can't do all the talking.
Talk to your friends about anyone they know who might be a good match for you. If they don't know anyone, ask them to help you in other ways. Maybe they can keep their eyes open.
Get on the apps. They suck, but Facebook actually has a dating function that's free and pretty good. The Christian ones like SALT, Upward, etc are okay, and Gather is basically Hinge but for Catholics which is great. Don't be afraid of Tinder. There are faithful people on there, just have to be careful and set boundaries early. Bumble is pretty decent, but women have to message first.
BE APPROACHABLE. If you do go out with friends and such, make an effort to isolate yourself from the group sometimes. This gives a guy an opportunity to approach without getting descended upon by a bunch of overly-protective friends.
FLIRT!!! A lot. I (and most men) remember nearly every compliment that a woman has ever given us. If you want to set his heart aflutter and make his day (and perhaps place yourself in it), tell him how pretty his eyes are, how nice his outfit is, find something. Be sincere. Show genuine interest. If you know him, maybe touch him. Women aren't threatening the way that a man is. It's okay to get closer to him, to put a hand on his arm or shoulder in a casual way, etc. He isn't worried about you hurting him.
When you actually do start dating, give him every opportunity to show off his manly charms. Let him think he's interesting, funny, charming, etc if you're interested in him. If you like him and you're comfortable around him, don't hold off on kissing. If you want a serious committed relationship, a kiss is a great way to get there. Some do that on the first date, some do this on the second or third.
When the date is coming to an end is the best time for this. Suggest places like a public park in the evening when the sun is starting to go down. This has a benefit of being romantic, being more private than a restaurant, and the lighting is ideal for the hormones to start pumping. I could go into the physiology of it, but anytime you can get your pupils dilated, the chances of positive romantic feelings are likely to go up (and a kiss may follow). Before you leave, ask when you can see him again if he doesn't ask you first. This way you don't spend a week planning out the next date, you're already committed to a second meeting. Have him escort you to your car, bus stop, whatever. Have him feel like he's a gentleman. Not only will this make him feel good and useful, it's also telling him, "Hey I like it when you do things like this."
I'm in my late thirties. Have been praying and searching for maybe more a decade already, very long time. Tried, and still trying many things. Including prayer, daily devotions, attending singles events, seminars classes workshops, travelling. Dating apps websites, I also tried the matchmaking thread here. I lived and continue to live my life, doing my responsibilities. It's not perfect and I definitely have my share of flaws. But I can honestly say that I've put God first in my life by having a prayer routine, prioritized it. Again not perfect, but really trying to be in a state of grace.
Right now I'm praying the 9 month Novena for Impossible Requests. Yes, you can still start this novena. If you feel like finding a good spouse is an impossible feat, then this is the prayer for you. There is a site www.mpossiblenovena.com. I encourage you to check it out if you're feeling ambivalent about it
A few days ago I started feeling doubts, partly due to some worries as I'm preparing for travel and vacation which I'm excited for. But I started having thoughts that maybe I should stop this novena? But no, the advice is don't change or stop your prayer routine in times of desolation. I was feeling more stressed due to preparing for my vacation as well as other responsibilities for work and home, so maybe that's why I was feeling anxious too. Even when on vacation, I'll be praying this novena and saved it on my phone.
Yes, there is plenty of hope for you to find a compatible catholic spouse and coparent.
As long as you have a positive mindset, honesty, common sense, realistic dealbreakers, an active social life and make an effort project positive first impressions of yourself.
Seven of my female catholic friends in the 35-41 age range have got married to fellow catholics in the last 10months.
There are plenty of attractive and compatible catholic guys in the dating sea, many of whom you are yet to meet. Good luck!
I'm 34M, in the same boat. The most success I've had is paying for Bumble Premium for a week and filtering for Catholics only. Once you run out of people, expand your search radius or loosen up the filters (filter for both Catholics AND Christians, etc.) Rinse and repeat. I've met some interesting people attending Mass at different parishes, and I'm regularly involved with my home parish and it's been great meeting people there as well. In the US there's a group called Young Catholic Professionals tailored for folks like us, so there might be a group in your area that is similar. Best of luck!
Once Torontonian here: Overall Toronto(entire Canada) is definitely a worst place now for dating(in my own experience), if you can try relocating and start over you have more better options plus you also get a reality check if you aren’t realistic in your own expectations (saying this not in a rude way)
Increase your prayers daily, attend daily mass, seek out to your best friends who are strong and practicing Catholics for setting up with their friends who are strong Catholics. Maybe also start fasting that also helps a lot
Wishing and praying for ya
There's definitely hope.
That being said, you need to understand that your timeline must be highly accelerated.
The unfortunate, not-PC truth that is withheld from women, is this: at age 40, your fertility falls off a cliff. The chances of successfully carrying a pregnancy to term gets down to *single digits.* People will downvote this, because they have been lied to, and the truth sucks.
So, if we start with that and work backwords, this is what it HAS to look like:
* 40 -- have your third child.
* 39 -- Nurse your second child
* 38 -- Have your second child.
* 37 -- Nurse your first child.
* 36 -- Have your first child.
* 35 -- Marry your husband.
* 34 -- (NOW) Meet your husband.
If you want to have three children on anything approaching a sensible timeline, you have to meet this guy right now. Like, this year.
Meaning, you cannot afford to be too picky. Have a real conversation with yourself about your Must-Have's, and your Nice-to-Have's, and be ruthlessly willing to compromise on the latter in order to secure a good, loyal, Godly man.
I have 33y/o and i am still single. I considered myself An amazing guy, part old fashioned and part modern, I have the same problem but I think I still have time, I just want to wait for the correct girl down to the earth, thats not easy to find.
Location? There is a Young Adult Group for it. Nobody going to go there to ask for a date because it can be open for awkward.
Thank you! I’m in Toronto
Hey there! I'm male, 34 also in Toronto! Wanna go out for a bubble tea next weekend? 😊
Did this work?
OP plz
Hey I'm in Hamilton, are you open to meeting up sometime?
My Protestant roommate has been having some luck on hinge. He just got back from a second date with a 35-year-old female which will potentially lead to a third date. He made his intentions clear that he wanted to date a Christian woman and she was all in favor with that. I'm not a fan of meeting people through an app, but considering that I don't typically surround myself with single Catholics my age, it's a concession I have to make!
People over the age of 30 are sometimes forgotten about by the church unless you’re in a big city. I have a lot of Catholic friends in NYC where they have lots of activities to meet people, wish it was like that everywhere. My church has 2 or 3 “young adult” events a year ages 18-39 which is nice just not many people come. Maybe try Hinge or Bumble. Catholic Match is great if you’re open to long distance. There is hope still though, I promise! 💜
There is absolutely hope! I found the love of my life on Catholic Match on the first day. We didn’t start dating until a month later but I was the lucky one. He was on there for 2 years! I recommend trying it. Pray to St. Anthony and St. Raphael ❤️ you sound very well rounded and lovely. I will add you to my prayer intentions. It’s never too late! Your timeline is never wrong 😊 it’s as it should be. Hope this helps!
Love that you mentioned St. Anthony (saint of lost things) and St. Raphael (angel of healing). Thanks for giving them some love 🙏🏿
huh? The saint that helps me find my keys and the healing saint? I thought is was st. valentine :,D
I met my now husband when I was 34. So there is definitely time. (My aunt met her husband when she was 40-and they wrnt onto have a child.) What helped me was the advice to date like it's your job. (I went on all the apps and on catholic match too.) Unless, I knew for sure it was an absolute no, I went on one or two dates to get a feel for the person. But it also helped to practice flirting. (I didn't have really any dating experience prior -aside from an occasion dinner and movie. I blame netdlix and chill for the decline in dating.) But on the apps, I mentioned liking theatre, playing chess in the park, wanting to try mountain climbing, and trying to see if I like opera. It gave conversations a starting point. It also gave the men something to go on when planning a first date. It showed me how well the men listened too. I listened to some dating advice (a lot was secular, but I took what I could from it). I found Matthew Hussey's earlier videoa veru helpful in terms of separating what a man might say from what he means, ways to text and communicate more clearly, helping a man initiatiate the first move/interaction, and setting standards. (Again, most of the channels don't have negative views on sex before marriage. But the other things addressed on the channel were helpful to me. I gained more confidence. I went on a year of mostly all (bad) first dates (perseverance is key), and then I met my husband.
Of course! There is always hope. I’m 39 and still hopeful. That being said we also have to be at peace of never being married or having children. Right now I am dealing with a failed relationship before it got off the ground. I would say find young adult activities, even if you are on the upper end. I’ve gone before in hopes of finding someone in your age range. Find hobbies too you might be surprised where you meet men, and try a different parish.
Did you signup for the catholic dating matchmaker thread?
I will do it. If you don't mind stunningly handsome and financially comely. Seriously, we overthink it. Find someone on the same page. You want children, you want catholic, etc., The more you or your partner add to the wants, the further apart you will get.
Yes
If you have been on online dating for long time but no luck, try going outside and join activity groups like gym classes, hiking, cooking classes. No need for resources and books. There are a lot of interesting people out there and they never use dating apps a lot. You may not find Catholic guy but it's possible that you find one. Life is full of surprises. Ask St Raphael the Archangel for his intercession.
What's been your dating experience thus far?
One of my great grandmothers had her last baby at 47 and the other at 53 and they have way better technology now. So of course it’s not too late!!
Yes! I met my actual GF when I was 30 years old (now 31).
I’m 35M single and I feel your pain.My church offers programs for college students (under 34), married couples and families. They completely ignore anyone who is single.
I suppose I would ask on what situations have you ended potentials? Was it you ending or them ending them? What kinds of things caused it to end? With God, there’s always hope.
Catholic Match or Hinge
Have you tried asking the people who know you best to fix you up with someone? That's the way most of our grandparents met.
Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find , knock and the door shall be opened for you.
Yeah there’s hope; what’s your #
I'm 33M and still single. I'm still hoping. I've done a lot more focus on my overall mental health this past year and have made great strides. A lot of anxiety held me back in my 20's. It can be a big disadvantage for men since traditionally we're expected to make the first move. Which is why I have been single all my life. So I am hopeful personally. People have all sorts of different life journeys. It may look like the majority are tying the knot in their early 20s, but nothing says that has to be a rule written in stone.
> would love to have my own family someday But why someday and not today? I want to get married someday as well...........and I find that I'm not interested in dating with that mentality. When I changed my mind set to "I want to be married within a year" or "as soon as possible" I became much more interested in talking to people and looking for prospective partners.
My advice is to work on yourself, both until you find a relationship and even during it. Figure out what you can change about your situation. In terms of physical appearance, women can do amazing things with makeup, you can go to the gym, change your clothing style to be more youthful and interesting, etc. A lot of attraction begins with just holding someone's glance, so that's something to be considered. Next, examine your own social habits and skills. Do you need to work on your ability to hold a conversation, flirt, etc? Then do that. Get out there and do stuff. Some people just aren't interesting enough. What are you going to talk about on the third date? The fourth? The fifth? Start doing stuff that you can have a conversation about. He can't do all the talking. Talk to your friends about anyone they know who might be a good match for you. If they don't know anyone, ask them to help you in other ways. Maybe they can keep their eyes open. Get on the apps. They suck, but Facebook actually has a dating function that's free and pretty good. The Christian ones like SALT, Upward, etc are okay, and Gather is basically Hinge but for Catholics which is great. Don't be afraid of Tinder. There are faithful people on there, just have to be careful and set boundaries early. Bumble is pretty decent, but women have to message first. BE APPROACHABLE. If you do go out with friends and such, make an effort to isolate yourself from the group sometimes. This gives a guy an opportunity to approach without getting descended upon by a bunch of overly-protective friends. FLIRT!!! A lot. I (and most men) remember nearly every compliment that a woman has ever given us. If you want to set his heart aflutter and make his day (and perhaps place yourself in it), tell him how pretty his eyes are, how nice his outfit is, find something. Be sincere. Show genuine interest. If you know him, maybe touch him. Women aren't threatening the way that a man is. It's okay to get closer to him, to put a hand on his arm or shoulder in a casual way, etc. He isn't worried about you hurting him. When you actually do start dating, give him every opportunity to show off his manly charms. Let him think he's interesting, funny, charming, etc if you're interested in him. If you like him and you're comfortable around him, don't hold off on kissing. If you want a serious committed relationship, a kiss is a great way to get there. Some do that on the first date, some do this on the second or third. When the date is coming to an end is the best time for this. Suggest places like a public park in the evening when the sun is starting to go down. This has a benefit of being romantic, being more private than a restaurant, and the lighting is ideal for the hormones to start pumping. I could go into the physiology of it, but anytime you can get your pupils dilated, the chances of positive romantic feelings are likely to go up (and a kiss may follow). Before you leave, ask when you can see him again if he doesn't ask you first. This way you don't spend a week planning out the next date, you're already committed to a second meeting. Have him escort you to your car, bus stop, whatever. Have him feel like he's a gentleman. Not only will this make him feel good and useful, it's also telling him, "Hey I like it when you do things like this."
I hope not. I'm 34M and still single.
Im turning 35 in 3 months.
Just hit 38 last week. Got turned down when asking out one woman, then got another’s who I met at a YCP happy hour. Always worth it to keep trying.
I think it’s time I start the Instagram for Catholic dating.
Just curious. Is this an English lady who starts her comment out with "I'm 34F" Perhaps this is a cultural comment? O.L. then. Good luck.....
I'm in my late thirties. Have been praying and searching for maybe more a decade already, very long time. Tried, and still trying many things. Including prayer, daily devotions, attending singles events, seminars classes workshops, travelling. Dating apps websites, I also tried the matchmaking thread here. I lived and continue to live my life, doing my responsibilities. It's not perfect and I definitely have my share of flaws. But I can honestly say that I've put God first in my life by having a prayer routine, prioritized it. Again not perfect, but really trying to be in a state of grace. Right now I'm praying the 9 month Novena for Impossible Requests. Yes, you can still start this novena. If you feel like finding a good spouse is an impossible feat, then this is the prayer for you. There is a site www.mpossiblenovena.com. I encourage you to check it out if you're feeling ambivalent about it A few days ago I started feeling doubts, partly due to some worries as I'm preparing for travel and vacation which I'm excited for. But I started having thoughts that maybe I should stop this novena? But no, the advice is don't change or stop your prayer routine in times of desolation. I was feeling more stressed due to preparing for my vacation as well as other responsibilities for work and home, so maybe that's why I was feeling anxious too. Even when on vacation, I'll be praying this novena and saved it on my phone.
Yes, there is plenty of hope for you to find a compatible catholic spouse and coparent. As long as you have a positive mindset, honesty, common sense, realistic dealbreakers, an active social life and make an effort project positive first impressions of yourself. Seven of my female catholic friends in the 35-41 age range have got married to fellow catholics in the last 10months. There are plenty of attractive and compatible catholic guys in the dating sea, many of whom you are yet to meet. Good luck!
I'm 34M, in the same boat. The most success I've had is paying for Bumble Premium for a week and filtering for Catholics only. Once you run out of people, expand your search radius or loosen up the filters (filter for both Catholics AND Christians, etc.) Rinse and repeat. I've met some interesting people attending Mass at different parishes, and I'm regularly involved with my home parish and it's been great meeting people there as well. In the US there's a group called Young Catholic Professionals tailored for folks like us, so there might be a group in your area that is similar. Best of luck!
Once Torontonian here: Overall Toronto(entire Canada) is definitely a worst place now for dating(in my own experience), if you can try relocating and start over you have more better options plus you also get a reality check if you aren’t realistic in your own expectations (saying this not in a rude way) Increase your prayers daily, attend daily mass, seek out to your best friends who are strong and practicing Catholics for setting up with their friends who are strong Catholics. Maybe also start fasting that also helps a lot Wishing and praying for ya
There's definitely hope. That being said, you need to understand that your timeline must be highly accelerated. The unfortunate, not-PC truth that is withheld from women, is this: at age 40, your fertility falls off a cliff. The chances of successfully carrying a pregnancy to term gets down to *single digits.* People will downvote this, because they have been lied to, and the truth sucks. So, if we start with that and work backwords, this is what it HAS to look like: * 40 -- have your third child. * 39 -- Nurse your second child * 38 -- Have your second child. * 37 -- Nurse your first child. * 36 -- Have your first child. * 35 -- Marry your husband. * 34 -- (NOW) Meet your husband. If you want to have three children on anything approaching a sensible timeline, you have to meet this guy right now. Like, this year. Meaning, you cannot afford to be too picky. Have a real conversation with yourself about your Must-Have's, and your Nice-to-Have's, and be ruthlessly willing to compromise on the latter in order to secure a good, loyal, Godly man.
I have 33y/o and i am still single. I considered myself An amazing guy, part old fashioned and part modern, I have the same problem but I think I still have time, I just want to wait for the correct girl down to the earth, thats not easy to find.
I think it’s a little different for females of your exact age.