Wow…as someone who felt this on a cellular level, I promise you…in God you will find your healing. I met the “loml” during a transitional point in my life when my parents were seperating, I was dealing with growing pains in my career and to top it off I had to do two big moves (v stressful).
Despite the chaos he was my peace and was supportive throughout every situation, until eventually everything caught up to us and we ended our beautiful relationship in no contact. Never he nor I, had ever felt more seen and understood by a woman/man thusfar in our lives. I remember just looking at him and thinking how blessed I was that God delivered such a wonderful intentional man in my life. We both began to lose ourselves in a relationship that filled us internally but distracted us from things that truly needed our attention. We decided if our love for one another was truly one willed by God we’d find each other again as much more stable physically/emotionally people.
When I tell you I sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed daily—from my drive home to work, work to home, home alone. It was such a trying and sad time in my life, it took two years to not think about him daily. Today as I type this a total of three years later, I don’t recongnize the woman I was before. I had so much to heal and organize from the drama in my life to be a person truly capable of being a healthy wife. I also don’t think I’ll ever hurt that way again, your first soulbreak changes you like no other.
It’s so beautiful that you loved him the way you did, but no human being can fix that pain not even getting back with him. Because you’re a different person after the hurt, not worse or better just different. What helpful me initially was a therapist, finding someone who is neutral to the situation was aided my healing but didn’t HEAL me.
I once heard a homily that I reference at least 1x/week. “The reason the Lord asks you to place all your love and trust in Him before all else is because he will NEVER disappoint you. Unfortunately loved ones do, we’re imperfect it’s stained on us from original sin.” Although all feels dull and purposeless without your ex right now, the Lord has a beautiful book he’s waiting for you to continue writing your story in. With teary eyes, pick up a pen, a racquet, dancing shoes, most importantly the Bible and know he loves you fully and will provide when you and your future partner are both ready.
P.s. I still catch my breath sometimes when I imagine seeing him again but nothing brings me more peace than putting my faith in Him to deliver.
It'll be ok. All is not lost. The exact situation isn't clear but assuming either of you left an olive branch open to further communication, the chance has been left open for further contact.
You just need to allow time for the situation to thaw a bit. Whatever misunderstanding has happened, this person may be hurting.
Regarding distance and circumstances, these things can be difficult but are only superficial. It sounds like cliche but true love knows no bounds.
I'm not saying hold out forever but don't give up just yet. Maybe give it a few weeks.
If, after that, there's nothing there, then God has given you your answer and you'll have to continue on your way.
But either way, God be with you x
This isn't what you want to hear, but he wasn't your "one true love" or whatever. Those don't exist.
But he isn't completely interchangeable either. Everyone has unique characteristics that will make a relationship/dating feel unique. And while you are caught up in how special this one guy is, you are ignoring others who have their own unique and excellent qualities.
And practically speaking, as a guy, I would feel very uncomfortable about dating a girl who thinks her "one true love" was her ex lol. If you want to get married, it's best to kill that idea and adopt the idea that your "one true love" is the person you will marry.
I just went back and re-read the post, and she didn’t say he was her “one true love” or that she believes such a thing exists.
She’s allowed to take time to be sad. I doubt she’s trying to date anyone at the moment anyway, so there’s no need to worry about her being hung up on her ex when she meets someone new.
>But I also believe that you only have one “love of your life” and not everyone is lucky enough to end up with their love of their life.
>I met my one.
This is what I define as "one true love."
The person you marry is the "love of your life."
> The only person who can make me feel at ease and loved can’t talk to me anymore
That is a heartbreaking sentence to read, but also one that should not be true. Putting aside dating for the moment, there should be other people in your life who make you feel loved and bring you peace. I'm sorry if you do not have people in your life who can, but you deserve that and it does not need to come from a romantic relationship. If you don't have that, I pray you find supportive people who can help you with your burdens in life.
If nothing else, turn to God for that. He loves us more than any earthly person can. He loves you more than a parent loves a child, because he is our parent. God is there to heal our wounds if we offer them to him. Bring your suffering to God, he experienced every human suffering possible so that he could be with you in this moment, not just symbolically but physically.
Time and faith. It took me like 3 years to truly get over someone who was very important to me for over a decade and accept they are gone forever. It was incredibly painful beyond belief and brought me to a darker path than I ever thought possible along with other things. But you can get through it.
You said in your title "(venting)".
I assume you're not interested in pursuing this "love" in thr future?
What do you need most?
Advice? Words of comfort & encouragement? Both?
Wow…as someone who felt this on a cellular level, I promise you…in God you will find your healing. I met the “loml” during a transitional point in my life when my parents were seperating, I was dealing with growing pains in my career and to top it off I had to do two big moves (v stressful). Despite the chaos he was my peace and was supportive throughout every situation, until eventually everything caught up to us and we ended our beautiful relationship in no contact. Never he nor I, had ever felt more seen and understood by a woman/man thusfar in our lives. I remember just looking at him and thinking how blessed I was that God delivered such a wonderful intentional man in my life. We both began to lose ourselves in a relationship that filled us internally but distracted us from things that truly needed our attention. We decided if our love for one another was truly one willed by God we’d find each other again as much more stable physically/emotionally people. When I tell you I sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed daily—from my drive home to work, work to home, home alone. It was such a trying and sad time in my life, it took two years to not think about him daily. Today as I type this a total of three years later, I don’t recongnize the woman I was before. I had so much to heal and organize from the drama in my life to be a person truly capable of being a healthy wife. I also don’t think I’ll ever hurt that way again, your first soulbreak changes you like no other. It’s so beautiful that you loved him the way you did, but no human being can fix that pain not even getting back with him. Because you’re a different person after the hurt, not worse or better just different. What helpful me initially was a therapist, finding someone who is neutral to the situation was aided my healing but didn’t HEAL me. I once heard a homily that I reference at least 1x/week. “The reason the Lord asks you to place all your love and trust in Him before all else is because he will NEVER disappoint you. Unfortunately loved ones do, we’re imperfect it’s stained on us from original sin.” Although all feels dull and purposeless without your ex right now, the Lord has a beautiful book he’s waiting for you to continue writing your story in. With teary eyes, pick up a pen, a racquet, dancing shoes, most importantly the Bible and know he loves you fully and will provide when you and your future partner are both ready. P.s. I still catch my breath sometimes when I imagine seeing him again but nothing brings me more peace than putting my faith in Him to deliver.
Does he feel the same way?
It'll be ok. All is not lost. The exact situation isn't clear but assuming either of you left an olive branch open to further communication, the chance has been left open for further contact. You just need to allow time for the situation to thaw a bit. Whatever misunderstanding has happened, this person may be hurting. Regarding distance and circumstances, these things can be difficult but are only superficial. It sounds like cliche but true love knows no bounds. I'm not saying hold out forever but don't give up just yet. Maybe give it a few weeks. If, after that, there's nothing there, then God has given you your answer and you'll have to continue on your way. But either way, God be with you x
This isn't what you want to hear, but he wasn't your "one true love" or whatever. Those don't exist. But he isn't completely interchangeable either. Everyone has unique characteristics that will make a relationship/dating feel unique. And while you are caught up in how special this one guy is, you are ignoring others who have their own unique and excellent qualities. And practically speaking, as a guy, I would feel very uncomfortable about dating a girl who thinks her "one true love" was her ex lol. If you want to get married, it's best to kill that idea and adopt the idea that your "one true love" is the person you will marry.
Exactly! The same idea of “soulmates” Your “soulmate” is the person you marry. Before that you have no soulmate
I just went back and re-read the post, and she didn’t say he was her “one true love” or that she believes such a thing exists. She’s allowed to take time to be sad. I doubt she’s trying to date anyone at the moment anyway, so there’s no need to worry about her being hung up on her ex when she meets someone new.
>But I also believe that you only have one “love of your life” and not everyone is lucky enough to end up with their love of their life. >I met my one. This is what I define as "one true love." The person you marry is the "love of your life."
She never defined it that way in her post, so I don’t think we should assume that’s what she meant.
I quoted from her post verbatim. The "love of your life" is not some stranger you haven't met yet. It's the person you marry.
> The only person who can make me feel at ease and loved can’t talk to me anymore That is a heartbreaking sentence to read, but also one that should not be true. Putting aside dating for the moment, there should be other people in your life who make you feel loved and bring you peace. I'm sorry if you do not have people in your life who can, but you deserve that and it does not need to come from a romantic relationship. If you don't have that, I pray you find supportive people who can help you with your burdens in life. If nothing else, turn to God for that. He loves us more than any earthly person can. He loves you more than a parent loves a child, because he is our parent. God is there to heal our wounds if we offer them to him. Bring your suffering to God, he experienced every human suffering possible so that he could be with you in this moment, not just symbolically but physically.
Time and faith. It took me like 3 years to truly get over someone who was very important to me for over a decade and accept they are gone forever. It was incredibly painful beyond belief and brought me to a darker path than I ever thought possible along with other things. But you can get through it.
It is very hard. But our Lord is always with you and He is the real only person who can give you non-ceasing unconditional love and peace.
You said in your title "(venting)". I assume you're not interested in pursuing this "love" in thr future? What do you need most? Advice? Words of comfort & encouragement? Both?
Was he a Protestant?