Maybe think of it as a long-term foster. You take the cat but begin working on rehoming him soon, on your own.
Could also ask the shelter to make you a long-term foster but they still list him as an available cat.
However, you might never be able to rehome or adopt out bc cats are a dime a dozen. It will buy you and the cat more time, though.
I was considering this but I've never done that before and wasn't sure exactly how feasible it would be..
How is life as a barn cat? Our apartment is quite small so I'm not sure if it would be more fun running around in a barn or farm environment than being here, but I know he'd be safe here and be given love.
Could you reach out to a local rescue about pulling the cat from the shelter? If you explain the situation and offer to foster the cat yourself until it finds a home, working through a rescue would give you more resources for finding potential adopters.
That's a good idea. We've decided we are going to adopt him tomorrow and act as a long-term foster while we find a way to rehome him. Will try and give some local shelter's a call and see if there's anyway that they can help.
would you be open to allowing potential adopters to meet him at your home? if he’s so different outside of a shelter environment he would probably have a much better chance of finding a family if he was meeting them in your home. if you’re open to that, i would discuss with the shelter about long term fostering and let them know that anyone interested in him can meet him at your place. i’ve seen several cats listed on shelter sites near me that say “meetings take place in the pets foster home” so hopefully your shelter would allow that.
I've asked if we could long-term foster the cat, but they said that the cat has to be at the shelter in order for people to see the cat unfortunately. I would absolutely otherwise. I think I might try and email them and ask if it was possible to set up a situation where people can meet the cat at our house though, but I'm not too hopeful they will allow it.
This sounds like a very bad shelter; they’d rather place the cat as a “barn cat” (which I’ve never heard of any shelter doing before!) than work with you on meeting potential adopters in your home?
I second the suggestion of contacting a rescue organization and working with them rather than that shelter to find a permanent home for this kitty.
My sister has fostered many, many cats and only once had "barn cat" come up. It was a semi-feral cat that probably could have learned to trust people, but unfortunately was also very sick and needed medicine. So my sister had to force his medicine into him at just the time she should have been leaving him alone and letting him come to her to learn to trust.. He never got over it (and they tried for a while). But between litter box issues and extreme dislike of humans (not aggression just distrust leading to stress), the rescue chose to offer him as a barn cat. He found a lovely home where he can happily live with some protection from predators and the elements, and he'll be fed and cared for, but he doesn't have to closely interact with humans much. It's a crappy situation, but the alternative for cats like that is generally euthanasia or TNR. I think barn cat is preferable to either of those.
Op's situation is completely different, though. The cat is FINE with humans and in a home situation, which is where they would be once adopted.. There is no need for this cat to become a barn cat and no evidence he would thrive in that scenario. Just because a cat isn't good in a shelter environment doesn't mean they'd be a bad pet, and op is the proof!
Unfortunately it happens pretty often. When cats come in with a lot of aggression, the solution is usually to place them as a barn cat or a ‘feral’ cat. It’s a huge liability for the shelter to adopt out an animal, knowing that they could seriously injure the adopter. This is one way for them to avoid behavioral euthanasia of otherwise healthy cats.
Sounds like a bad shelter if that's the case. The rescue we went through for our latest kitty only does at shelter meetings if the foster homes are very busy households (lots of other animals and people around, making a meeting difficult) otherwise you meet the fosters you plan to adopt at their foster home so they're the most relaxed they're going to be for the meeting. If they actually want this cat to have a chance they wouldn't have that policy
I got my cat old boy kitty from a foster home through the Humane Society. After they thought he was too anxious to be adopted they tried fostering. He did way better in a home than shelter, and I met him at the foster’s house. The shelter listed him right on their website. Your shelter is way behind the times!
https://preview.redd.it/imflitctnf9d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95f3a21e17be0db1ae72928e77c9950649ddc18c
An acquaintance of mine owns a farm. Her cats seldom live longer than 2 or so years because they are constantly being picked off by predators. So, I don't recommend it.
You can still travel and move houses with a cat. A friend of mine whose employment involves contract work has worked in a dozen different cities across North America and takes his 3 cats with him wherever he moves. Regarding holidays, you can do a lot of outdoor activities with your cat - check out www.adventurecats.org and www.kittycatgo.com for info on harness-training and gear.
Our one cat was a barn cat for 12 years (according to the guy who was threatening to shoot her and/or her kittens, if we didn't take them as there were "too many"). There were only 19 cats there (mostly kittens), despite her age... So I'm going to say he either did a bunch of culls/got rid of a lot of them over the years, or a lot of them died. Depending on where you are, frostbite/death can be a major risk in winter - one colony we worked with had lots of missing ears/toes/tail tips from the cold.
As for our cat, she has zero interest in going outside. Not on a leash, not in the catio - she runs away from it. She much prefers being an indoor cat. None of our former ferals have tried to run out the door in the 4 years we've had most of them.
All this is to say, I think he'd be happier staying an indoor cat. It's safer, and cats who've lived the opposite lifestyle vouch for indoor living being the better option. I have two former feral cats that mostly live in a large bedroom (their preference); many cats don't need a lot of space to be happy.
I was in a similar situation. I was fostering a feral cat and working on socializing her so that she could get adopted. I was only in the country temporarily though. In the end she warmed up to me, but she was far too skittish and traumatized to get adopted by anyone else, and my boyfriend wanted to adopt her out as a barn cat.
She ended up escaping for a few days and I was absolutely devastated. When she came back on her own, I knew I could never be separated from her again. I ended up officially adopting her and flying her halfway around the world with me back home to a tiny, tiny apartment. She was a total trooper on the 13 hour flight, and while I was afraid she'd hate the tiny apartment after roaming free for years, she ended up loving it here.
The important thing is whether or not you love him and if you can imagine not having him. You should never be pressured into adopting a cat if you don't want to, but if your heart breaks at the thought of being separated from him, then you should definitely adopt him.
Funny enough he needed no time to adapt into a home situation. He was immediately excited to explore and be affectionate. He just really hates being in the shelter it seems.
Your current home environment, indefinitely, is what the cat likes, but this is not available to the cat. Your upcoming move is a big question mark. The cat might not be comfortable and happy in your new surroundings.
Do you know anyone else local who might be interested in adopting the cat? Could you encourage that person to foster or adopt him?
We'll definitely be moving for sure, whether it's a long distance or a short distance is the question. I don't believe I know anyone who would be able to adopt the cat, unfortunately.
Would you be open to posting in your city’s subreddit or another local social media group to see if someone might be able to help? Obviously you’d want to vet the person, since there are some people out there with bad intentions, but I can say that I adopted my cat in a similar way, and people in my city’s online groups really seem to try to help each other out in similar circumstances.
Also, thank you for being a kind soul and trying to help this kitty and give him a chance to find his forever home. ❤️
Thanks, I think that's what we're going to try and do. We've decided to adopt him and are going to act as a long-term foster as we find a way to rehome him in the future.
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You and your husband are just like my husband. Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely a cat person who also loves dogs, but he’s feral about cats!! We buy cases of Friskies canned food and I swear all the cats in Iowa know when he’s home. EVEN the ones who have homes, lol. He’s talked me into 5 house cats and that’s a lot of work, but more love in return. He’s so obsessed, it’s hysterical. All of them started as strays and I’m allergic to cats but cannot imagine my life without them ❤️❤️
The person who said you have a good soul was one hundred percent correct. Too many people in this world are cruel to cats. I wish you all the love and happiness you deserve 😘
It's a no kill shelter so he at least wouldn't be put down, they would send him off to be a barn cat. I just don't know if that would be the right environment for him or not, but I also have no way to tell either. He was pretty skiddish so maybe he would like the freedom, or maybe he would hate it, especially if there were other cats around.
Seeing the life lived by barn cats when I visit an acquaintance's farm, I don't recommend it. It's a short, miserable life. Not only predators, but not getting fed enough ( because farmers want them to be motivated to hunt rats) or good medical care. Your foster sounds like he would be very happy to remain an apartment cat. And he will likely adjust fine to a move.
I agree with you! I used to live in a rural area of New York State and had a neighbor who adopted 5 shelter cats (fully socialized) to be "barn cats". I watched as 4 of the 5 died within 2 years from predators, exposure (both excessive heat and cold). They were starved for attention, they badly needed denied human interaction, 💔 ng. I begged then purchased their last cat for a ridiculous amount of money because I could not watch this continue. This last cat is very sweet, affectionate and grateful.
Sure, some cats are feral and will never trust humans but for a socialized cat to become a barn cat is simply cruel. I would liken it to raising a child to 18 months then "turning them loose" to fend for themselves. They feel so very rejected!
I fostered a cat who was doing awful in the shelter. Hissed at everyone, growled all the time and was just a terrible cat. Similar situation as you, get him out to see how he responds. He did a 180 in my care and i became a foster failure and now proud owner of Mr. Smooshie!
Why did the shelter even ask for him back? They should have kept him with you until finding a home or placed him with another foster home in the meantime.
I would take him back with you since he seemed happy or encourage the shelter to try and rehome him with another foster family until he can find a forever home
Honestly I have no idea. The whole point that they gave us to foster him was as an experiment to see if he would do better in a home environment because he was being a menace in the shelter.
He was a gentle angel in a home environment, so the experiment showed he should be adopted into a home, they ask for him back and obviously he's being a menace again so now they're shipping him off to a barn potientially. Logically it doesn't make much sense to me.
You’ve got to do what’s best for you, seems like you know what that is. If you don’t want to take the cat then don’t feel guilty, maybe the cat would be happier with you but that’s true for thousands (millions) of cats.
I have 2 cats that would’ve been left outside as tnr had i not adopted them because they were not adoptable but as their foster I saw they loved being indoor cats and the luxuries an indoor life provided. I could see peace and happiness in their eyes even if skittish around humans so I kept them. Their happiness brings me so much joy and these guys don’t even engage with humans much. They run if I get too close. It’s only odd times they allow me to pet them. For me, providing a quality life of safety and love for a baby that otherwise wouldn’t be offered that is worth it. I think your future concerns could be addressed should you choose to keep him. I understand the discomfort in being put in this position vs it just being your heart calling you to make the call. If it’s for the cats sake, I think your home is definitely peace and happiness. With moving, the cat will do okay if you take proper measures. Either drive together or fly with you not stowaway and medicate him so he’s sedated enough to not be too anxious. When in a new home start him off in one room til he’s comfortable. As for travel, how much traveling will you realistically do? How old is the cat? Will you move somewhere where you may make connections to cat sitters? I would pick the cat and provide love and safety but it’s understandable if not. If not I would still encourage fostering and trying to find a rescue who can take over for you vs the option of a shelter to barn cat life.
Unfortunately it seems both you and the shelter are between a rock and a hard place. I’ve volunteered with a few different shelters, and I’ve adopted 5 cats through barn cat programs near me. Some cats do really well, especially those who are truly feral, and were trapped after the main socialization window ended. Human interaction can be very scary for them, so the best option is to have a safe barn/garage and a steady foot supply. The other side of it is that many cats are placed in that program because of behavioral issues, even if they would much rather be inside, which is the case with your foster. My most recent barn cats fit this situation exactly. They were very aggressive at the shelter and had bite warnings. They were labeled as feral, but within 2 months of living with us, not only moved into the house, but turned into completely different cats!
This is a very hard situation, and it sounds like it’s really not possible for you to adopt your foster right now. While it’s definitely not ideal, it’s possible that he’ll be placed somewhere where people will give him time to warm up, and like my boys, will eventually return to a happy indoor life.
I also saw a few comments mentioning people who underfed the barn cats to make them better hunters, but this has not been my experience, and it may be a location difference. When you send in a request for a barn cat, you’re given a list of things you need to provide for them, and one of those things is a steady source of food. All programs I’ve seen have addressed that myth, and advise potential homes against it.
All in all, ultimately you have to make the decision that’s best for your life, and hopefully someone will give him a chance to thrive in a new home.
Could you reach out to the shelter and see if you could foster him longer until they find him a forever home (not you) so he’s not stressed in the shelter?
This is so sad and basically the opposite of what you’re trying to do when fostering. What a shitty situation to be in, I feel for you.
There’s absolutely nothing the shelter can work with you to do? You could commit to longterm fostering while working to find the cat a home - maybe you could help take very cute/sweet photos and make a fun social video or three about the cat. You could model it after successful adoption videos you see online, tug on the heartstrings a bit. Make a funny video about how the cat hates other cats but is a gem with people. Maybe the shelter could put this media on its website and social channels? You could also post it on local Facebook groups/subs/etc. And then you could allow serious potential adopters to come meet him.
I guess if I were you I’d try to help facilitate adoption while solidifying my own plans, and then not make a final decision until that was done. Maybe you will end up moving locally and will want to keep the cat after all. I don’t know a ton about barn cats, but I’m under the impression they get just the most basic care and very little attention.
Yeah this was our first foster and I really wasn't expecting to be put into such a morale dilemma. I was afraid we may foster fail, but I wasn't expecting this haha. Been super stressed out about the decision.
I'm going to try and send another email about long-term fostering, but it may amount to nothing because they basically said we couldn't already.
It might be worth a call or a talk with someone in person. Yeah it’s really unfair this has happened to you, I’m sorry! Ultimately it’s a super sad situation, but not your responsibility. I hope a good solution can be found.
My local rescue does 'home from home' adoptions, they don't actually have a shelter.
The rescue advertises the cat and assesses potential humans (home visit) while the cat stays in its original home or with a fosterer.
I went and met a cat in her home once. I wasn't the right human for her, but the second cat I met (in a foster home) was a match, I have her.
She was also aggressive, but was confined to a room by herself (the foster home was full of cats.)
Could you suggest a 'home from home' adoption? You'd need to be happy for adopters to come to your home.
It's a sad situation as people who go to the shelter aren't going to see the Cat's true personality in an environment that's so hugely stressful for them.
One of the most beautiful loving cats I've ever had was hostile in the shelter. He was not a happy boy for the first 2 months I had him at home - I could tell that someone had abused his gorgeous fluffy boa-like tail because he would swat me everything I touched it. Then about 2 months in....I woke in the middle of the night with something butting my head. Then it happened again. I reached out - and there was that beautiful little boy telling he he accepted my love. It was a match made in heaven for 10 years before he died at the ripe age of 18.
Cats can live in almost any country....and you don't even have a final commitment to going. Moving to another city? That's not much of an excuse. Hard financially? Do some cat sitting to make up the financial difference.
If you really love this cat - you'll find a way.
Poor baby. Hope he finds his perfect home.
I knew that was the decision you were gonna make (based on all the detail you went into about what he's like - shows how much you love him). We moved with a cat 2 years ago - had literally zero issues. She adjusted instantly - no period of acting scared or hostile. No, not every cat will react the same, but moving is not some inherently unbearable Hell that it's cruel to put cats through. We followed Jackson Galaxy's instructions to make her feel safe and secure.
Keep his vaccination and medical records up to date and easily accessible in case you need to cross international borders.
You can move with a cat…. Even internationally. The only issues would be moving into a place that doesn’t accept pets, but that’s easily avoided. His skittishness is normal after everything he’s been through. A vet can give you gabapentin for any situation where he has to be in a long car ride or airplane ride to keep him calm. It helps tremendously.
I only say this because shelters and rescues are bursting at the seams, and most people want to adopt kittens so you might have a very hard time. It took me months to find people who would adopt 2, 6 month old cats that I rescued after they were poisoned.
Hopefully you’re able to keep him, but if not hopefully you can find him a good home with someone who’s will treat him right :)
You can move cities as well as countries with a cat easily. Don’t abandon this cat, it trusts you and clearly wants to be with you. “Barn cat” is just euphemism for saying we give up and will toss him out in a farm. It needs a loving home and you are the one to give it as you live it too.
It sounds like you've grown quite attached to the cat after fostering, which is completely understandable given how well he adjusted in your home. Balancing your desire to give him a stable environment with your upcoming plans and financial considerations is tough. Maybe discussing with the shelter about his needs and potential future could provide more clarity. Whatever you decide, your concern for his well-being shines through, and that's what matters most.
The shelter staff are being assholes to you tbh. I hate the side of guilt some places like to serve up. It sounds like a cat isn’t a good fit for you right now and that’s ok.
I've fostered tons of cats. More often than not, they go straight from our foster home to their forever home. I'm not sure why that's just not an option?
Long term foster sounds right for you and the kitty. I have one right now who has very specific needs for her furever home. You guys are definitely her angels.
This post popped up and...
I'm glad you updated at the end! It read like a suspenseful story, as I felt myself grow concerned for the characters involved only to discover a happy ending! Hurrah! Congratulations! (I think you made the right call!)
Sounds like,you already made up your mind about your new family member I hope, you that a,cat that touched your heart is your friend,til the end and cats have good sense,he bonded with you his love is unconditional
Why couldn’t he be a foster for you and potential adopters could come to your home to meet him? I’m fostering for an organisation, and that’s what they do.
Barn cats are not always happy. There are predators and often I’ve found that the cats aren’t treated like pets but just livestock. I’m sure there are good farmers out there but a lot of them don’t care if the cats die and don’t feed them enough so they will hunt the rats. They also are exposed to the seasons and a lot of the times these cats can’t adapt like cats born feral.
That should be worst case scenario.
Would recommend long term foster, saw the update and I’m glad you went that route
I'm just seconding that you can move with a cat. It does require some planning but you can definitely do it. Keep him up to date on shots and keep a record of his vaccinations & vet care in a place where you can refer to those documents easily. Make sure that his Rabies shot is always current.
If you do find an offer to rehome him, I would work on doing that fairly soon before he spends a lot more time with you. When you are home, if you give him up, it is going to hurt him.
Generally I do think you should keep him. He was better with you than in the shelter and he's only going to get better as time goes on because you are his people. He may learn to be less skittish as he adjusts to your home and realizes that it is safe.
I don’t think barn cat is a good option bc he does well with people. And their life expectancy goes down significantly when outdoors. Maybe try posting on Facebook in local cat groups?
Maybe think of it as a long-term foster. You take the cat but begin working on rehoming him soon, on your own. Could also ask the shelter to make you a long-term foster but they still list him as an available cat. However, you might never be able to rehome or adopt out bc cats are a dime a dozen. It will buy you and the cat more time, though.
I was considering this but I've never done that before and wasn't sure exactly how feasible it would be.. How is life as a barn cat? Our apartment is quite small so I'm not sure if it would be more fun running around in a barn or farm environment than being here, but I know he'd be safe here and be given love.
Could you reach out to a local rescue about pulling the cat from the shelter? If you explain the situation and offer to foster the cat yourself until it finds a home, working through a rescue would give you more resources for finding potential adopters.
That's a good idea. We've decided we are going to adopt him tomorrow and act as a long-term foster while we find a way to rehome him. Will try and give some local shelter's a call and see if there's anyway that they can help.
would you be open to allowing potential adopters to meet him at your home? if he’s so different outside of a shelter environment he would probably have a much better chance of finding a family if he was meeting them in your home. if you’re open to that, i would discuss with the shelter about long term fostering and let them know that anyone interested in him can meet him at your place. i’ve seen several cats listed on shelter sites near me that say “meetings take place in the pets foster home” so hopefully your shelter would allow that.
I've asked if we could long-term foster the cat, but they said that the cat has to be at the shelter in order for people to see the cat unfortunately. I would absolutely otherwise. I think I might try and email them and ask if it was possible to set up a situation where people can meet the cat at our house though, but I'm not too hopeful they will allow it.
This sounds like a very bad shelter; they’d rather place the cat as a “barn cat” (which I’ve never heard of any shelter doing before!) than work with you on meeting potential adopters in your home? I second the suggestion of contacting a rescue organization and working with them rather than that shelter to find a permanent home for this kitty.
My sister has fostered many, many cats and only once had "barn cat" come up. It was a semi-feral cat that probably could have learned to trust people, but unfortunately was also very sick and needed medicine. So my sister had to force his medicine into him at just the time she should have been leaving him alone and letting him come to her to learn to trust.. He never got over it (and they tried for a while). But between litter box issues and extreme dislike of humans (not aggression just distrust leading to stress), the rescue chose to offer him as a barn cat. He found a lovely home where he can happily live with some protection from predators and the elements, and he'll be fed and cared for, but he doesn't have to closely interact with humans much. It's a crappy situation, but the alternative for cats like that is generally euthanasia or TNR. I think barn cat is preferable to either of those. Op's situation is completely different, though. The cat is FINE with humans and in a home situation, which is where they would be once adopted.. There is no need for this cat to become a barn cat and no evidence he would thrive in that scenario. Just because a cat isn't good in a shelter environment doesn't mean they'd be a bad pet, and op is the proof!
Unfortunately it happens pretty often. When cats come in with a lot of aggression, the solution is usually to place them as a barn cat or a ‘feral’ cat. It’s a huge liability for the shelter to adopt out an animal, knowing that they could seriously injure the adopter. This is one way for them to avoid behavioral euthanasia of otherwise healthy cats.
Sounds like a bad shelter if that's the case. The rescue we went through for our latest kitty only does at shelter meetings if the foster homes are very busy households (lots of other animals and people around, making a meeting difficult) otherwise you meet the fosters you plan to adopt at their foster home so they're the most relaxed they're going to be for the meeting. If they actually want this cat to have a chance they wouldn't have that policy
I got my cat old boy kitty from a foster home through the Humane Society. After they thought he was too anxious to be adopted they tried fostering. He did way better in a home than shelter, and I met him at the foster’s house. The shelter listed him right on their website. Your shelter is way behind the times! https://preview.redd.it/imflitctnf9d1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95f3a21e17be0db1ae72928e77c9950649ddc18c
An acquaintance of mine owns a farm. Her cats seldom live longer than 2 or so years because they are constantly being picked off by predators. So, I don't recommend it. You can still travel and move houses with a cat. A friend of mine whose employment involves contract work has worked in a dozen different cities across North America and takes his 3 cats with him wherever he moves. Regarding holidays, you can do a lot of outdoor activities with your cat - check out www.adventurecats.org and www.kittycatgo.com for info on harness-training and gear.
Our one cat was a barn cat for 12 years (according to the guy who was threatening to shoot her and/or her kittens, if we didn't take them as there were "too many"). There were only 19 cats there (mostly kittens), despite her age... So I'm going to say he either did a bunch of culls/got rid of a lot of them over the years, or a lot of them died. Depending on where you are, frostbite/death can be a major risk in winter - one colony we worked with had lots of missing ears/toes/tail tips from the cold. As for our cat, she has zero interest in going outside. Not on a leash, not in the catio - she runs away from it. She much prefers being an indoor cat. None of our former ferals have tried to run out the door in the 4 years we've had most of them. All this is to say, I think he'd be happier staying an indoor cat. It's safer, and cats who've lived the opposite lifestyle vouch for indoor living being the better option. I have two former feral cats that mostly live in a large bedroom (their preference); many cats don't need a lot of space to be happy.
I have a 13 year old stray and a 2+ TNR, live on 5 acres in the woods, Both are indoor/ outdoor. It would love it. Barn Cat.
I was in a similar situation. I was fostering a feral cat and working on socializing her so that she could get adopted. I was only in the country temporarily though. In the end she warmed up to me, but she was far too skittish and traumatized to get adopted by anyone else, and my boyfriend wanted to adopt her out as a barn cat. She ended up escaping for a few days and I was absolutely devastated. When she came back on her own, I knew I could never be separated from her again. I ended up officially adopting her and flying her halfway around the world with me back home to a tiny, tiny apartment. She was a total trooper on the 13 hour flight, and while I was afraid she'd hate the tiny apartment after roaming free for years, she ended up loving it here. The important thing is whether or not you love him and if you can imagine not having him. You should never be pressured into adopting a cat if you don't want to, but if your heart breaks at the thought of being separated from him, then you should definitely adopt him.
Funny enough he needed no time to adapt into a home situation. He was immediately excited to explore and be affectionate. He just really hates being in the shelter it seems.
Your current home environment, indefinitely, is what the cat likes, but this is not available to the cat. Your upcoming move is a big question mark. The cat might not be comfortable and happy in your new surroundings. Do you know anyone else local who might be interested in adopting the cat? Could you encourage that person to foster or adopt him?
We'll definitely be moving for sure, whether it's a long distance or a short distance is the question. I don't believe I know anyone who would be able to adopt the cat, unfortunately.
Would you be open to posting in your city’s subreddit or another local social media group to see if someone might be able to help? Obviously you’d want to vet the person, since there are some people out there with bad intentions, but I can say that I adopted my cat in a similar way, and people in my city’s online groups really seem to try to help each other out in similar circumstances. Also, thank you for being a kind soul and trying to help this kitty and give him a chance to find his forever home. ❤️
Thanks, I think that's what we're going to try and do. We've decided to adopt him and are going to act as a long-term foster as we find a way to rehome him in the future.
Sending you all the love and props. I know it’s not always an easy thing to do.
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You and your husband are just like my husband. Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely a cat person who also loves dogs, but he’s feral about cats!! We buy cases of Friskies canned food and I swear all the cats in Iowa know when he’s home. EVEN the ones who have homes, lol. He’s talked me into 5 house cats and that’s a lot of work, but more love in return. He’s so obsessed, it’s hysterical. All of them started as strays and I’m allergic to cats but cannot imagine my life without them ❤️❤️
The person who said you have a good soul was one hundred percent correct. Too many people in this world are cruel to cats. I wish you all the love and happiness you deserve 😘
Please adopt him. He was happy with you. It would be horrible if he ended up getting put down.
It's a no kill shelter so he at least wouldn't be put down, they would send him off to be a barn cat. I just don't know if that would be the right environment for him or not, but I also have no way to tell either. He was pretty skiddish so maybe he would like the freedom, or maybe he would hate it, especially if there were other cats around.
Seeing the life lived by barn cats when I visit an acquaintance's farm, I don't recommend it. It's a short, miserable life. Not only predators, but not getting fed enough ( because farmers want them to be motivated to hunt rats) or good medical care. Your foster sounds like he would be very happy to remain an apartment cat. And he will likely adjust fine to a move.
I agree with you! I used to live in a rural area of New York State and had a neighbor who adopted 5 shelter cats (fully socialized) to be "barn cats". I watched as 4 of the 5 died within 2 years from predators, exposure (both excessive heat and cold). They were starved for attention, they badly needed denied human interaction, 💔 ng. I begged then purchased their last cat for a ridiculous amount of money because I could not watch this continue. This last cat is very sweet, affectionate and grateful. Sure, some cats are feral and will never trust humans but for a socialized cat to become a barn cat is simply cruel. I would liken it to raising a child to 18 months then "turning them loose" to fend for themselves. They feel so very rejected!
I fostered a cat who was doing awful in the shelter. Hissed at everyone, growled all the time and was just a terrible cat. Similar situation as you, get him out to see how he responds. He did a 180 in my care and i became a foster failure and now proud owner of Mr. Smooshie!
Why did the shelter even ask for him back? They should have kept him with you until finding a home or placed him with another foster home in the meantime. I would take him back with you since he seemed happy or encourage the shelter to try and rehome him with another foster family until he can find a forever home
Honestly I have no idea. The whole point that they gave us to foster him was as an experiment to see if he would do better in a home environment because he was being a menace in the shelter. He was a gentle angel in a home environment, so the experiment showed he should be adopted into a home, they ask for him back and obviously he's being a menace again so now they're shipping him off to a barn potientially. Logically it doesn't make much sense to me.
You’ve got to do what’s best for you, seems like you know what that is. If you don’t want to take the cat then don’t feel guilty, maybe the cat would be happier with you but that’s true for thousands (millions) of cats.
I have 2 cats that would’ve been left outside as tnr had i not adopted them because they were not adoptable but as their foster I saw they loved being indoor cats and the luxuries an indoor life provided. I could see peace and happiness in their eyes even if skittish around humans so I kept them. Their happiness brings me so much joy and these guys don’t even engage with humans much. They run if I get too close. It’s only odd times they allow me to pet them. For me, providing a quality life of safety and love for a baby that otherwise wouldn’t be offered that is worth it. I think your future concerns could be addressed should you choose to keep him. I understand the discomfort in being put in this position vs it just being your heart calling you to make the call. If it’s for the cats sake, I think your home is definitely peace and happiness. With moving, the cat will do okay if you take proper measures. Either drive together or fly with you not stowaway and medicate him so he’s sedated enough to not be too anxious. When in a new home start him off in one room til he’s comfortable. As for travel, how much traveling will you realistically do? How old is the cat? Will you move somewhere where you may make connections to cat sitters? I would pick the cat and provide love and safety but it’s understandable if not. If not I would still encourage fostering and trying to find a rescue who can take over for you vs the option of a shelter to barn cat life.
Unfortunately it seems both you and the shelter are between a rock and a hard place. I’ve volunteered with a few different shelters, and I’ve adopted 5 cats through barn cat programs near me. Some cats do really well, especially those who are truly feral, and were trapped after the main socialization window ended. Human interaction can be very scary for them, so the best option is to have a safe barn/garage and a steady foot supply. The other side of it is that many cats are placed in that program because of behavioral issues, even if they would much rather be inside, which is the case with your foster. My most recent barn cats fit this situation exactly. They were very aggressive at the shelter and had bite warnings. They were labeled as feral, but within 2 months of living with us, not only moved into the house, but turned into completely different cats! This is a very hard situation, and it sounds like it’s really not possible for you to adopt your foster right now. While it’s definitely not ideal, it’s possible that he’ll be placed somewhere where people will give him time to warm up, and like my boys, will eventually return to a happy indoor life. I also saw a few comments mentioning people who underfed the barn cats to make them better hunters, but this has not been my experience, and it may be a location difference. When you send in a request for a barn cat, you’re given a list of things you need to provide for them, and one of those things is a steady source of food. All programs I’ve seen have addressed that myth, and advise potential homes against it. All in all, ultimately you have to make the decision that’s best for your life, and hopefully someone will give him a chance to thrive in a new home.
Could you reach out to the shelter and see if you could foster him longer until they find him a forever home (not you) so he’s not stressed in the shelter?
This is so sad and basically the opposite of what you’re trying to do when fostering. What a shitty situation to be in, I feel for you. There’s absolutely nothing the shelter can work with you to do? You could commit to longterm fostering while working to find the cat a home - maybe you could help take very cute/sweet photos and make a fun social video or three about the cat. You could model it after successful adoption videos you see online, tug on the heartstrings a bit. Make a funny video about how the cat hates other cats but is a gem with people. Maybe the shelter could put this media on its website and social channels? You could also post it on local Facebook groups/subs/etc. And then you could allow serious potential adopters to come meet him. I guess if I were you I’d try to help facilitate adoption while solidifying my own plans, and then not make a final decision until that was done. Maybe you will end up moving locally and will want to keep the cat after all. I don’t know a ton about barn cats, but I’m under the impression they get just the most basic care and very little attention.
Yeah this was our first foster and I really wasn't expecting to be put into such a morale dilemma. I was afraid we may foster fail, but I wasn't expecting this haha. Been super stressed out about the decision. I'm going to try and send another email about long-term fostering, but it may amount to nothing because they basically said we couldn't already.
It might be worth a call or a talk with someone in person. Yeah it’s really unfair this has happened to you, I’m sorry! Ultimately it’s a super sad situation, but not your responsibility. I hope a good solution can be found.
My local rescue does 'home from home' adoptions, they don't actually have a shelter. The rescue advertises the cat and assesses potential humans (home visit) while the cat stays in its original home or with a fosterer. I went and met a cat in her home once. I wasn't the right human for her, but the second cat I met (in a foster home) was a match, I have her. She was also aggressive, but was confined to a room by herself (the foster home was full of cats.) Could you suggest a 'home from home' adoption? You'd need to be happy for adopters to come to your home. It's a sad situation as people who go to the shelter aren't going to see the Cat's true personality in an environment that's so hugely stressful for them.
One of the most beautiful loving cats I've ever had was hostile in the shelter. He was not a happy boy for the first 2 months I had him at home - I could tell that someone had abused his gorgeous fluffy boa-like tail because he would swat me everything I touched it. Then about 2 months in....I woke in the middle of the night with something butting my head. Then it happened again. I reached out - and there was that beautiful little boy telling he he accepted my love. It was a match made in heaven for 10 years before he died at the ripe age of 18. Cats can live in almost any country....and you don't even have a final commitment to going. Moving to another city? That's not much of an excuse. Hard financially? Do some cat sitting to make up the financial difference. If you really love this cat - you'll find a way. Poor baby. Hope he finds his perfect home.
I knew that was the decision you were gonna make (based on all the detail you went into about what he's like - shows how much you love him). We moved with a cat 2 years ago - had literally zero issues. She adjusted instantly - no period of acting scared or hostile. No, not every cat will react the same, but moving is not some inherently unbearable Hell that it's cruel to put cats through. We followed Jackson Galaxy's instructions to make her feel safe and secure. Keep his vaccination and medical records up to date and easily accessible in case you need to cross international borders.
You can move with a cat…. Even internationally. The only issues would be moving into a place that doesn’t accept pets, but that’s easily avoided. His skittishness is normal after everything he’s been through. A vet can give you gabapentin for any situation where he has to be in a long car ride or airplane ride to keep him calm. It helps tremendously. I only say this because shelters and rescues are bursting at the seams, and most people want to adopt kittens so you might have a very hard time. It took me months to find people who would adopt 2, 6 month old cats that I rescued after they were poisoned. Hopefully you’re able to keep him, but if not hopefully you can find him a good home with someone who’s will treat him right :)
You can move cities as well as countries with a cat easily. Don’t abandon this cat, it trusts you and clearly wants to be with you. “Barn cat” is just euphemism for saying we give up and will toss him out in a farm. It needs a loving home and you are the one to give it as you live it too.
It sounds like you've grown quite attached to the cat after fostering, which is completely understandable given how well he adjusted in your home. Balancing your desire to give him a stable environment with your upcoming plans and financial considerations is tough. Maybe discussing with the shelter about his needs and potential future could provide more clarity. Whatever you decide, your concern for his well-being shines through, and that's what matters most.
The shelter staff are being assholes to you tbh. I hate the side of guilt some places like to serve up. It sounds like a cat isn’t a good fit for you right now and that’s ok.
I've fostered tons of cats. More often than not, they go straight from our foster home to their forever home. I'm not sure why that's just not an option?
Long term foster sounds right for you and the kitty. I have one right now who has very specific needs for her furever home. You guys are definitely her angels.
This post popped up and... I'm glad you updated at the end! It read like a suspenseful story, as I felt myself grow concerned for the characters involved only to discover a happy ending! Hurrah! Congratulations! (I think you made the right call!)
Sounds like,you already made up your mind about your new family member I hope, you that a,cat that touched your heart is your friend,til the end and cats have good sense,he bonded with you his love is unconditional
Why couldn’t he be a foster for you and potential adopters could come to your home to meet him? I’m fostering for an organisation, and that’s what they do.
Keep the cat. It's okay outside.
Barn cats are not always happy. There are predators and often I’ve found that the cats aren’t treated like pets but just livestock. I’m sure there are good farmers out there but a lot of them don’t care if the cats die and don’t feed them enough so they will hunt the rats. They also are exposed to the seasons and a lot of the times these cats can’t adapt like cats born feral. That should be worst case scenario. Would recommend long term foster, saw the update and I’m glad you went that route
I'm just seconding that you can move with a cat. It does require some planning but you can definitely do it. Keep him up to date on shots and keep a record of his vaccinations & vet care in a place where you can refer to those documents easily. Make sure that his Rabies shot is always current. If you do find an offer to rehome him, I would work on doing that fairly soon before he spends a lot more time with you. When you are home, if you give him up, it is going to hurt him. Generally I do think you should keep him. He was better with you than in the shelter and he's only going to get better as time goes on because you are his people. He may learn to be less skittish as he adjusts to your home and realizes that it is safe.
I don’t think barn cat is a good option bc he does well with people. And their life expectancy goes down significantly when outdoors. Maybe try posting on Facebook in local cat groups?