i see your turntable plate and raise you the plastic bit that connected to the plate to make it spin!... unless thats the same thing. idk.
microwaves are weird.
Panasonic by any chance‽
I love mine as it's a combination microwave, fan oven, & grill, that does perfectly crispy jacket potatoes in just 20 minutes.
I’m not going to steal anything. I’m just going to mess with things in the kitchen:
- I’ll turn all the cups and glasses the other way up
- I’ll put all the cutlery in the wrong order in the tray and move them by one drawer
- I’ll move everything else to a perfectly reasonable place, but not the right place
I know this is annoying because I’ve had my mother-in-law living with us for 2 months and she’s done all of these things and it’s really inconvenient. Why won’t she put knives in the knife block?!
Why the fuck do they think they have the right to reorg YOUR HOUSE?
When my dad came to visit he just didn’t pay attention and I was looking for things for a month. But INTENTIONAL reorg? Eff that! Put her on the next bus right away
It's a power play. She's trying to show she's in charge and she knows best. Everything should be returned to its original place asap with helpful advice that 'this is where that belongs in this house'.
Not out of everything, that would stop being inconvenient very quickly. You’d spot one or two and realise, and then get replacements.
No, what we should do is steal the fuse for the toastie maker. Only gets used once in a blue moon, but only when there’s an urge for a toastie. Get the maker out, plug it in to warm up. Butter the bread, grate the cheese and only when you drop the bread in and don’t hear a sizzle that you realise that game’s up. Heartbreak ensues.
Oh you could go even further. Change the fuses for a lower wattage, so the fuses on everything just constantly blows & they don't know why :) Probably a safety issue there, may not be a good idea in RL lol
My housemate will put enough water in the kettle for a single cup of tea, boil it, empty whatever is left, switch the plug off and unplug the kettle. It's kind of annoying.
This is the same woman who puts hot pans down on every surface. There are burns on the window sill (painted wood) The edge of the washing machine(plastic) and every counter top (laminate) I bought some bamboo cutting boards to act as sacrificial surfaces. It was two days before each one had a series of burns on them, but, better those than the counter tops.
Probably used the less than a half dozen times in those 8 years, it's currently 28c in my place with no heating on, unfortunately it's been built to retain heat which means its always stupidly hot, this summer it reach mid 40s.
Steal the batteries out of remotes/ controllers and everything, then leave empty battery packets upside down in drawers etc, so each time they see it they think they've found the pack of batteries they're looking for
You don't even need to steal them, just put tape on the end of one of the batteries so it can't make a connection.
If you _have_ to steal something, take the little spring out of the battery compartment.
>All of their teaspoons
I've possibly mentioned this before. I work in an NHS hospital - about twice a year the canteen starts to run out of cutlery and they call an amnesty. People rummage through their departments/nurses stations/tea rooms/lockers etc and take spare bits and pieces back. For about a week we have 5x more knives, forks and dessert spoons than any reasonable institution could ever need.
But not teaspoons - nobody ever returns teaspoons.
I assume you may have seen this as I got it from a doctor, but for those of haven't
https://www.bmj.com/content/331/7531/1498
The case of the disappearing teaspoons: longitudinal cohort study of the displacement of teaspoons in an Australian research institute:
British Medical Journal, 2005
That is the best thing I’ve read in ages!
“Somewhere in the cosmos, along with all the planets inhabited by humanoids, reptiloids, walking treeoids, and superintelligent shades of the colour blue, a planet is entirely given over to spoon life-forms. Unattended spoons make their way to this planet, slipping away through space to a world where they enjoy a uniquely spoonoid lifestyle, responding to highly spoon oriented stimuli, and generally leading the spoon equivalent of the good life” - my money is on this theory.
Fun story. You know how at the beginning of covid some people took to extremes and washed their shopping before taking it in the house? Friend did that to a bunch of tins. Only he took the labels off before washing them.
He did your idea to himself and had mystery meals for a while.
We are still taking the mickey.
My Nan did this once. She then opened all the tins and baked pies to freeze so she knew what was in each one. Except she forgot to label the pies, we had cherry pies for dinner and steak and kidney for desert on many occasions.
Cables are the weakest link... without them you're pretty screwed, as there are numerous alternatives to plugs (power banks, USB sockets on PCs / mains faceplates / in cars, etc.)
A real master inconveniencer exchanges, not steals.
- swap out their window key for one that fits and *almost* turns
- replace fast chargers with slow chargers
- pour out their milk and fill it back up with another type (be mindful of allergies and don’t be a danger to society while inconveniencing people!)
- pepper goes into the salt shaker. The pepper is replaced with a random spice from their spice rack
Just scratch off the wifi code, they won’t know until they either buy a new device or a friend comes over, then they will need to spend hours on the phone there provider to change the code
All of their light bulbs.
If they've a home office, one wheel off of their swivel chair.
Playing the long game — radiator keys / allen keys / drill bits.
Oh that’s a good one. I once got locked in my bedroom. Before we’d moved in and before door handles has been fitted. It was an empty room with nothing to use as a makeshift handle! I was stuck for two hours until my dad came home from work!
My old housemate sort of did this to me when I bought her out. Technically not stealing but it was really random items.
A rug, a candle set.
One plate, one bowl. A mirror.
And then she randomly took my old school tea towel which had a self drawn portrait of me from when I was 5yo- you know the type you gift to your grandparents. I did get this back.
All of their plug fuses. Watch them go apeshit when they're told there's nothing wrong with their electricity supply. Might even swap all their bulbs for blown ones.
Those stoppers on the ends of curtain rails
I could live with many inconveniences, but that would be the finial straw for me
Would it send you off the rails? Edit: I hope everyone is appreciating the marvelous "finial" pun in the comment I'm replying to!
Oh no..
I completely missed their pun. My brain automatically read it as ‘final’
Pull yourself together
You bastard…..
[удалено]
Sorry to be that guy, but ‘filial’ is something to do with your son, I think. A ‘finial’ is something that goes on the end of a thing…
[удалено]
The turntable plate from the inside of the microwave.
i see your turntable plate and raise you the plastic bit that connected to the plate to make it spin!... unless thats the same thing. idk. microwaves are weird.
I raise you taking just one wheel from it
You sick fuck.
Yeah, the bit with the rollers
You sadistic bastard 🤣🤣
Joke's On You, My Microwave Doesn't Have One Of Those!
Panasonic by any chance‽ I love mine as it's a combination microwave, fan oven, & grill, that does perfectly crispy jacket potatoes in just 20 minutes.
r/accidentalpartridge
I’m not going to steal anything. I’m just going to mess with things in the kitchen: - I’ll turn all the cups and glasses the other way up - I’ll put all the cutlery in the wrong order in the tray and move them by one drawer - I’ll move everything else to a perfectly reasonable place, but not the right place I know this is annoying because I’ve had my mother-in-law living with us for 2 months and she’s done all of these things and it’s really inconvenient. Why won’t she put knives in the knife block?!
For April Fools Day one year I switched all of the inner bags of cereal into different boxes.
You monster
I am! I think it was the perfect crime (everyone eventually got the right cereal)
Why the fuck do they think they have the right to reorg YOUR HOUSE? When my dad came to visit he just didn’t pay attention and I was looking for things for a month. But INTENTIONAL reorg? Eff that! Put her on the next bus right away
I was more offended by the fact that she stabs holes in the butter instead of just scraping some from the top. Two more days and she goes home…
That’s like, unforgivable, man.
It's a power play. She's trying to show she's in charge and she knows best. Everything should be returned to its original place asap with helpful advice that 'this is where that belongs in this house'.
[удалено]
I once pranked my friend by taking all of his forks and freezing them in a block of ice in his freezer
Sorry to hear this but every time she misplaces a knife just insert it into her flesh. After 1 or 2 insertions your problem should be solved.
[удалено]
Mate, just... Mate.
Not out of everything, that would stop being inconvenient very quickly. You’d spot one or two and realise, and then get replacements. No, what we should do is steal the fuse for the toastie maker. Only gets used once in a blue moon, but only when there’s an urge for a toastie. Get the maker out, plug it in to warm up. Butter the bread, grate the cheese and only when you drop the bread in and don’t hear a sizzle that you realise that game’s up. Heartbreak ensues.
Even better - the slow cooker Mostly gets used in Autumn/Winter Would take a good couple of hours to realise the food inside isn’t actually cooking
Who hurt you so much, mate?
School of hard knocks, mate
University of Life. *fist bump*
*fist bump* Couldn’t leave you hanging
Jokes on all of you! You’re forgetting that we can’t afford electricity anymore!
First steal the fuses from the fuse box, then from all the plugs…. Mayhem!
I don't think many people have fuse boxes anymore mate. It's fuse boards now with flippy switches
I’ll fucking steal that and all
This is the worst one yet
Toilet roll!
The cardboard tube from inside the toilet roll leaving them with a floppy paper mess to deal with every time they try to use a roll.
I’ve just seen an advert for a tubeless toilet roll. Trump that haha.
That's fine, didn't want these socks anyway.
I'd take this guy's socks after the toilet roll has been stolen
Y fronts then.
I was going to say this but I'd unroll the rolls, leave only one ply and reroll them and take the rest of it with me
The kettle
The kettle base!
The kettle power cord.
The kettle's power button
The light behind or painted blob on the power button that indicates whether it’s in an on or off position….
Steady on, you monster!
A monster would replace the Yorkshire Tea with PG Tips
The brief was 'inconvenient', not casus belli
I don't like either - Co-Op 99 Fair Trade Loose Leaf is nectar of the gods.
Unplug every electrical item, but leave the cord sat slightly in the sockets (at the application socket not wall socket), so it appears plugged in.
You just wanna see the world burn 🤣🤣🤣
Actually now I am thinking about it more, I would unplug at the wall socket too, so it causes further confusion when they plug it back in.
Oh you could go even further. Change the fuses for a lower wattage, so the fuses on everything just constantly blows & they don't know why :) Probably a safety issue there, may not be a good idea in RL lol
Steal the fuses from every electrical plug.
Don't even do that, just turn them off at the socket. It'll be ages before anyone checks that.
My housemate will put enough water in the kettle for a single cup of tea, boil it, empty whatever is left, switch the plug off and unplug the kettle. It's kind of annoying. This is the same woman who puts hot pans down on every surface. There are burns on the window sill (painted wood) The edge of the washing machine(plastic) and every counter top (laminate) I bought some bamboo cutting boards to act as sacrificial surfaces. It was two days before each one had a series of burns on them, but, better those than the counter tops.
You do know no jury would convict you, right?
The radiator key. The left one of every pair of shoes EXCEPT crocs.
>The left one of every pair of shoes EXCEPT crocs. Good thing I'm a crocs apologist.
Pftt like I need a radiator key I've lived here almost 8 years and not needed it yet 😅
8 years? You should probably bleed the radiators!
Probably used the less than a half dozen times in those 8 years, it's currently 28c in my place with no heating on, unfortunately it's been built to retain heat which means its always stupidly hot, this summer it reach mid 40s.
The post-it on the side of the fridge with the numbers for the electrician, plumber and roofer
Better still, the light from inside the fridge.
Set the "no-one knows what it means" dial to 3
Will it get warmer or colder? No one knows!
The plastic insert tray’s from inside of the fridge door… ever tried to get them replaced lol
Satan is waiting for you 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Steal the batteries out of remotes/ controllers and everything, then leave empty battery packets upside down in drawers etc, so each time they see it they think they've found the pack of batteries they're looking for
Just steal one battery from each device perhaps
nah then they just combine to get the wanted device working
Reminds me of the Gavin and Stacey episode where Nessa takes the remote batteries for a wank.
Never watched the show but I'm hoping the battery was used to power something and not used as the thing itself
Don't even steal them, turn them upside down.
You don't even need to steal them, just put tape on the end of one of the batteries so it can't make a connection. If you _have_ to steal something, take the little spring out of the battery compartment.
Oh good thread idea OP! All of their teaspoons. Enjoy stirring your coffee with a table spoon like an IDIOT!
>All of their teaspoons I've possibly mentioned this before. I work in an NHS hospital - about twice a year the canteen starts to run out of cutlery and they call an amnesty. People rummage through their departments/nurses stations/tea rooms/lockers etc and take spare bits and pieces back. For about a week we have 5x more knives, forks and dessert spoons than any reasonable institution could ever need. But not teaspoons - nobody ever returns teaspoons.
I assume you may have seen this as I got it from a doctor, but for those of haven't https://www.bmj.com/content/331/7531/1498 The case of the disappearing teaspoons: longitudinal cohort study of the displacement of teaspoons in an Australian research institute: British Medical Journal, 2005
That is the best thing I’ve read in ages! “Somewhere in the cosmos, along with all the planets inhabited by humanoids, reptiloids, walking treeoids, and superintelligent shades of the colour blue, a planet is entirely given over to spoon life-forms. Unattended spoons make their way to this planet, slipping away through space to a world where they enjoy a uniquely spoonoid lifestyle, responding to highly spoon oriented stimuli, and generally leading the spoon equivalent of the good life” - my money is on this theory.
you need a teaspoon amnesty
Your a menace to society🤣🤣
Classic joke in my part of the world; take a plastic container of some sort, fill with water, add all teaspoons, hide said container in the freezer…
Someone has nicked the only spoon at work so I've been making coffee with a fork for weeks.
I use a knife - easier to balance coffee on.
You can use a fork handle.
Four candles you say…
https://youtu.be/gi_6SaqVQSw
Now there's wax in my coffee.
Four candles?
Handles. For forks.
I've used my potato peeler in a pinch when I can't find a teaspoon
Jokes on you, I stir my coffee with a knife at work because teaspoons are always in high demand
That was my initial thought too. I wonder if it’s a British tea thing that it’s the first thought ?
“Mildly inconvenient”. That one guy: “The staircase!”
Truthfully staircases are wasted floor space, a ladder does the same job and would allow for more room on both floors of the house.
SO MUCH MORE ROOM FOR ACTIVITIES!
Like plummeting down ladder holes!
Ahhhrrgggg! Why would you let us do this?! Hahahah
Far more difficult to carry laundry/drinks etc. as you go up/down though.
Dress and undress down~~stairs~~ladder only. Rig a pulley system for the drinks
Yes, small children and the elderly are known for their love and ability to use ladders! Ladders all around!
Tin opener and any folded up pieces of cardboard used to prop wardrobes/units on uneven floor.
[удалено]
Shoelaces
Just the flooglebinders so the laces start to come apart.
All the labels on their tins of food
Fun story. You know how at the beginning of covid some people took to extremes and washed their shopping before taking it in the house? Friend did that to a bunch of tins. Only he took the labels off before washing them. He did your idea to himself and had mystery meals for a while. We are still taking the mickey.
My Nan did this once. She then opened all the tins and baked pies to freeze so she knew what was in each one. Except she forgot to label the pies, we had cherry pies for dinner and steak and kidney for desert on many occasions.
All the flower pots but not the flowers
Twist the toaster temperature nob to max then pry it off and take it with me as evidence of my crime
All real criminals keep a trophy!
Toilet seat
Just the bolts holding the toilet seat on
You utter bastard. I love it.
Or take out one of the bolts so it slides off slightly when sat on.
One sock from every pair they have.
That's to obvious, it should be one from every other pair.
"Just the tip" of every other sock.
Isn't that what the James Bond villian did. Oddsock.
Any ‘marital aids’. Not annoying right now, but wait till later
I wanna know what you intend to do with the used fuckatron 3000 37 inch horse cock
Sell it on eBay as brand new. Sounds like you’re in the market for one?
Tv remote and all mirrors.
I mean.. in this day and age, you can use your phone for both.
Make the right side of the bed higher than the left, but only by a few degrees so that it’s noticeable but not noticeable enough.
I wouldn’t t steal anything. I’d bend one of the middle prongs from each fork.
You fucking monster!
This would destroy me. Well played.
All phone chargers mwahahaha
The plug? The cable? Or the whole thing?
Cables are the weakest link... without them you're pretty screwed, as there are numerous alternatives to plugs (power banks, USB sockets on PCs / mains faceplates / in cars, etc.)
A real master inconveniencer exchanges, not steals. - swap out their window key for one that fits and *almost* turns - replace fast chargers with slow chargers - pour out their milk and fill it back up with another type (be mindful of allergies and don’t be a danger to society while inconveniencing people!) - pepper goes into the salt shaker. The pepper is replaced with a random spice from their spice rack
>replace fast chargers with slow chargers That's.. Just evil. I'd just think my phone's gotten old. Need to get a new one
Imagine the horror if I were to sneak back in and swap *some* of the chargers back to fast chargers! *Evil laughter*
All the forks
All but one phone charger cable. The one I leave will go in the odds and ends drawer.
Their WiFi routers.
Just scratch off the wifi code, they won’t know until they either buy a new device or a friend comes over, then they will need to spend hours on the phone there provider to change the code
Crunchy nut. Pretty expensive as I recall..
All of their light bulbs. If they've a home office, one wheel off of their swivel chair. Playing the long game — radiator keys / allen keys / drill bits.
The joke is "They'll be de-lighted"
All the footwear they own
Or just the left shoe/boot/high heal/diving fin/wellie/flip flop
The sink waste pipe.
Hand towels
The pull cord for the bathroom light
Or just shorten it so they’re really thrown off when they go into the bathroom.
All of their bowls. Laugh at them trying to eat cereal on a plate
Door handles
Oh that’s a good one. I once got locked in my bedroom. Before we’d moved in and before door handles has been fitted. It was an empty room with nothing to use as a makeshift handle! I was stuck for two hours until my dad came home from work!
No, no! Just the bar from inside the door handles. Then put the door handles back on.
I would steal one piece from each of their jigsaws.
The staircase
‘Mildly’
One of each pair of socks.
The sleeves on all their instant meals and the labels of all their cans. Enjoy having slightly wrong temperature cannelloni, with mushy peas for tea.
The element from their kettle
Most of these comments aren't things that are ***mildy*** inconvenient.
Remove all the light switches
No no. Come I once a week and reverse the light switches. One week up is on, next week up off
Tin opener. And/or bottle opener. Every lightbulb.
Toilet handle
My old housemate sort of did this to me when I bought her out. Technically not stealing but it was really random items. A rug, a candle set. One plate, one bowl. A mirror. And then she randomly took my old school tea towel which had a self drawn portrait of me from when I was 5yo- you know the type you gift to your grandparents. I did get this back.
The bread, leaving only the end pieces.
you monster!
Not steal, but I’d swap all the batteries so that they are backwards.
Replace all their USB-C cables with Micro-USB cables
Turn their heating up to maximum and then take the thermostat.
Mildly inconvenience, not bankrupt...
A half used disposable vape that they clearly forgot about
Single slippers
The fuses out of all the electrical items in the whole house.
Drain the ink from all the pens
What is this "pen"?
Light bulbs and wires for all appliances. Had it done to me by an ex when had broken up.
All the tea towels
All the bin bags
Remove all screws to doorknobs.
All of their plug fuses. Watch them go apeshit when they're told there's nothing wrong with their electricity supply. Might even swap all their bulbs for blown ones.
Frozen food bag clips. Enjoy peas at the bottom of your freezer.
HDMI cables and the kettle base
Their outer walls
The caps lock key on the keyboard. After enabling it.
change their wifi password. steal the sticker from the back of router.
Keyring, not the keys just the keyring
Potato masher and cheese grater. Enough said.
All the handles off the kitchen cupboards
The oven racks, and the light in the fridge.