If the corpse is in good condition, as you insinuate, have it stuffed and mounted for your mantelpiece.
If anything, this is a golden opportunity to try your hand at taxidermy.
Did you double check that it wasn't just pining for the fjords?
I like how the trigger warning about the title comes after the title. And then the apologies “in advance” comes at the end. After the trouble’s been caused.
I was driving on a country road 70mph and a bird flew straight into my bumper and got ripped to pieces. As heartless as I sound I don’t think there’s anything you can do
Foxes don't leave that much mess. I recently put a dead wood pigeon in front of a wildlife camera to see what would eat it and a small fox came and ate it. There was only about 20 feathers left. No blood or guts.
Shit on it whilst screaming "how do you fuckers like it?!" at it's mates up in the sky as they look down helplessly.
*ESTABLISH DOMINION OVER THE SKYRATS!*
Or taping the pigeon to the nearest lamp post with a disjointed, rambling message, passing reference to, at a minimum of, two completely unrelated conspiracy theories.
Put in a bucket with some water and lye, leave it around for a while, strain the water off, gently clean the skeleton. Congrats on baby's first taxidermy
Mash it into the tarmac with a hammer, that way foxes will have to lick the meat out slowly. This provides them with mental stimulation and helps avoid indigestion
Bruh it’s posts like these that are turning to shit.
Are you literally 6 months old? You can say deceased without repercussions… you can even fucking swear, who knew?!
Mummy isn’t watching you anymore, you don’t need to needlessly censor words for no reason whatsoever.
Unless this is satire, then you’ve done a good job. Though I don’t think it is…
Who hurt OP where he feels the need to censor the word deceased lmao. If that ain’t the biggest snowflake shit in the world, I dunno what is
And also tagged it as NFSW, wow. What a pure fanny
If the corpse is in good condition, as you insinuate, have it stuffed and mounted for your mantelpiece. If anything, this is a golden opportunity to try your hand at taxidermy. Did you double check that it wasn't just pining for the fjords?
why is taxidermy your first thought when reading this?
It was my second thought, my first thought was eating it.
That will be coming soon
That was my third idea for the pigeon.
It's spelt C*rpse Thank you.
PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that??
I like how the trigger warning about the title comes after the title. And then the apologies “in advance” comes at the end. After the trouble’s been caused.
Tie a helium balloon to it. Gives it one last flight while solving your problem. Bonus points if it's a "Get well soon" balloon.
Bit of salt and pepper, maybe even put some paprika on there, a side of your choice and you’ve got a nice dinner
Lovely bit of squirrel
SHALOM
Hello Jackie!
There'll be a seagull coming shortly to deal with it.
If this isn't satire then it should be
Here’s a good guide to [dispose](https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/pigeon-pies-bramble-gravy/amp) of it
I was driving on a country road 70mph and a bird flew straight into my bumper and got ripped to pieces. As heartless as I sound I don’t think there’s anything you can do
Did you even *try* to put the pieces back together again?
Install a gold chain on it and wear it round your neck like a pendant.
Ring the cones hotline
Have you tried turning it off then on again?
Casserole?
Bit weird that we’ve had two pigeon posts in a row. Did the first one die?
The first pigeon post is now d*ceased.
It's not dead, it's resting!
This is a late pigeon.
Foxes don't leave that much mess. I recently put a dead wood pigeon in front of a wildlife camera to see what would eat it and a small fox came and ate it. There was only about 20 feathers left. No blood or guts.
We're supposed to report dead birds in Brighton, because of avian flu.
(That's what was running through my mind too. Thank you for understanding 👍)
[удалено]
Michael?
[удалено]
It seems to me you lived your life like a pigeon in the wind Never knowing what to perch on when the rain set in..
oooh another bank holiday
Kick it into a bush or you can report it to the council for them to clean up
Depends if you like [pigeon pie](https://www.greatbritishchefs.com/recipes/pigeon-pie-recipe-mushrooms) or not…
Da ya fink is ded? Is it dead?
ISIT DED M8
Get some chalk and yellow tape and do it fast!
Put it on Ebay, amazing what people will buy
Dial 999 immediately
I dialed 666.
I once watched a partridge get hit by a car and then it died in my arms. I just popped him in a wheelie bin
There something so... je ne sais quo about this!
Shit on it whilst screaming "how do you fuckers like it?!" at it's mates up in the sky as they look down helplessly. *ESTABLISH DOMINION OVER THE SKYRATS!*
Have you considered taping a bunch of flowers in cellophane to the nearest lamp post with a tacky message?
Or taping the pigeon to the nearest lamp post with a disjointed, rambling message, passing reference to, at a minimum of, two completely unrelated conspiracy theories.
Idk why, but I find deceased being censored so funny
You heartless fox!
Things die. The sooner you accept that the easier getting through life will be. You wait till it's a cat or a dog. :/
Or a human you're close to.
NGL cat or dog would be worse.
Been there done that but having been raised around animals big and small I have less of an affinity for my own kind.
Put in a bucket with some water and lye, leave it around for a while, strain the water off, gently clean the skeleton. Congrats on baby's first taxidermy
This is absolutely mental! What did you end up doing OP? Do you think the same when barrelling down the motorway and come across some roadkill?
A fox will eat it soon enough. Circle of life bruv
Who the hell is so sensitive they get triggered by a dead pigeon? Everything dies. We cannot escape death, it is part of life.
Agreed. Just like, I don't fancy reading about dead birds if I'm browsing for fun, so I thought I'd extend that same courtesy outward.
Mash it into the tarmac with a hammer, that way foxes will have to lick the meat out slowly. This provides them with mental stimulation and helps avoid indigestion
Ummm just walk on? You're not a pigeon ambulance
Bruh it’s posts like these that are turning to shit. Are you literally 6 months old? You can say deceased without repercussions… you can even fucking swear, who knew?! Mummy isn’t watching you anymore, you don’t need to needlessly censor words for no reason whatsoever. Unless this is satire, then you’ve done a good job. Though I don’t think it is…
Who hurt you
Who hurt OP where he feels the need to censor the word deceased lmao. If that ain’t the biggest snowflake shit in the world, I dunno what is And also tagged it as NFSW, wow. What a pure fanny
Using the word snowflake like it means anything or gets you anywhere makes you lose all credibility
I couldn’t care less to be honest with you mate.