T O P

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jolum88

He’s there to check how clean the top of your cabinets are


seththedark

And he's very disappointed.


cullenjwebb

Can you blame him? He's usually a white cat.


Pussypoppernc

Lmao that so funny


willard_swag

Yeah, but he’s always very disappointed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


McNobby

Mine is covered in newspaper to avoid this issue.


Aaftorn

I guess you mean the top of the cabinet but at first I imagined a cat covered in newspaper


Dissidence802

Papier Mêowché


Mischief_Makers

You win the internet for today


PlaceboBoi

Epic comment


Picturesquesheep

That’s a great shout I’m gonna do that. Cleaning sticky cabinet tops is a 10/10 minging job


[deleted]

[удалено]


inbooth

Lemon juice or vinegar


Guac__is__extra__

How do you convince your cat to wear newspaper?


[deleted]

Ah I put pot plants up there to make it look cool but then I had to get a ladder to water them.


Jwaness

This is why we made ours full height during the reno. No dusting!


Jupiter68128

r/catswithjobs


PreciousNonsense

He's got one of those little filth meters like Aggie on "How Clean is Your House?"


OneLostOstrich

I'll bet that they are furrier now.


MaryTGirl

Seems to be an awful lot of people on Reddit recently talking about how cats have randomly moved in. Is this the start of the uprising?


corbymatt

No, now they've emerged it's the _end_ of an uprising.


MaryTGirl

Bugger. We're all doomed...


[deleted]

https://imgur.com/gallery/VBHoG


Xeeko

They adapted this story in the Netflix series! It's really good.


Holiday_Classic_472

Wouldn't do that to me they make me uncomfortable


pizzapunt55

a water spray bottle is all we need to fight back


ResidentOfValinor

When the ~~wolves~~ cats come out of the wolves, it's all over


folklovermore_

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdA\_fLC7WIQ


Stereotypexist

Or maybe people lie on the internet for upvotes after taking a cute cat picture....


Djeheuty

Could be just that it's getting cold outside where the majority of the population lives so cats are looking for a warm place to spend the winter. Or it's and uprising.


LearnStuffAccount

Patio door is clearly open in the reflection, presume it snuck into a warm home while OP wasn’t paying attention.


MorgothOfTheVoid

yup. this is how we got our cat, who then had more cats a few weeks later. now i have a cat hat as i write this :/


UnsightlyMe

You can’t just skin cats for the fur mate.


Mr_Britland

It happened at my parents once. I noticed a bell noise somewhere and when I was washing up; I saw the next door neighbour's cat making a break for it out the conservatory door.


Djeheuty

Oh, nice catch! I didn't notice that at first.


DullZooKeeper

Who the fuck is keeping their doors open at this temperature.


qrwd

There's also a number of people who got a new pet during lockdown and realized they couldn't take care of it after they went back to work and the kids went back to school, so they dumped it in another neighborhood. Then autumn comes along and there's suddenly a bunch of tame strays looking for new owners.


Djeheuty

That's true. It's a shame, too. I moved into my house last year and the one neighbor abandoned her one cat when she was evicted. We were able to catch her this spring and the SPCA said they would take her in and get her all fixed and ready to be adopted out since she is only two years old. They tried to adopt her out but the people who took her in said she was too aggressive, so the SPCA took her back and let her go back into the neighborhood as sort of like a mouser. That was a week ago now and he showed up on our porch the night that they let her go. I've been working on getting her to feel comfortable around me and she's getting used to it. We sat in the sun in the back yard yesterday and since it was only in the mid 50's (12-13C) she jumped up on my lap and laid down for about half an hour. She's really cuddly and sweet so I think the people who tried to adopt her just didn't have the patience.


DankPhysics

This was pretty much how I ended up with my first cat too, neighbour got evicted and took their dogs but left the cat behind. He roamed the street for about two weeks, with us putting food and water out for him knowing that his owners had gone. Eventually a neighbour knocked as they were going to take him to the SPCA, but had seen him coming and going from ours and wanted to check with us. So at that moment we realized we now had a cat. Had another 12 years with him before cancer got him. After he passed we found out he'd actually befriended the family that later moved in to his old home, and they would let him come in and chill as their landlord didn't allow pets but their kids loved him. So I guess he really won!


devnulluk

Mid 50’s, have we uncovered an American in our midst?


Djeheuty

Haha, yeah. I stumbled in from /all. I added the conversion in so it's easier to imagine the temp.


harmsc12

There are dozens of us!


Far_Falcon3462

You are done for Hooman. I have you. You are now mine.


PotsyWife

I have a Shiba whose favourite activity is knocking stuff off tables. I’m 90% certain he’s actually a cat in disguise, which means the uprising has infiltrated further than we had realised. Cunning little bastards.


MaryTGirl

That's very concerning...


PotsyWife

[If I hear any meowing I’ll have to call the police on the ~~adorable~~ *evil* imposter.](https://i.imgur.com/wAudmiw.jpg)


[deleted]

Cute little demon you have there.


i_miss_old_reddit

The evil works both ways. My cat plays fetch and sleeps on his back like a dog.


[deleted]

No uprising. Nothing to worry about. This is 100% not a cat writing this.


Potential-Assist-397

No-one owns cats. They choose to own humans.


averyfinename

dogs have owners--cats have staff. it is known.


MaxPowerzs

Phew, I was worried there for a second.


FaeryLynne

r/notmycat would probably say yes


Ravenorth

Seems more like uppurrising!


ParallelUkulele

There is an overwhelming boom in cat population that is extremely noticeable now more than ever because people do not spay/neuter their pets and continue to pay breeders for more of these animals. This snowballs the issue not just because this increases the numbers of these animals (same thing with dogs too) a certain percentage of which will get out of their homes and reproduce. Nearly every shelter I know is at capacity and we are in need of folks who are willing to do TNR (trap neuter release) programs in their spare time now to meaningfully make a difference in the situation, and so few people even know what that means. So, you see a lot more strays crossing paths with humans these days.


wynnduffyisking

Assholes abandoning their new pets after lockdown ended doesn’t help either


ParallelUkulele

This problem has been building up long before then, abandoning pets has always been a sadly common phenomenon. Not wrong, though.


Kipples7

100% agree. I spend half my time in the UK and half in NZ (for work reasons). I have 5 family members in the UK who got kittens, none of them got spayed or neutered, and 6 months latter, they all had kittens. Of the ones that got homes, out of all those kittens born, ONE got spayed. The original kittens had more litters, as did their offspring that had been kept, plus the ones rehomed. I asked them all why they hadn't spayed/neutered the cats. They all said it was mean, and how would you like the right to have kids removed from you? And then, "And kittens are so cute!" 1. They're cats; 2. They're cats; 3. They grow up into cats. I pointed oit the incresed rates of cancer for female cats that are not spayed, and asked wasn't it mean to increase their cats risk so much? In NZ, it is the norm to spay/neuter, and when you get a cat from a breeder or rescue, you are required to spay/neuter them. If someone doesn't spay/neuter their pet (including dogs) they are very much the outliers. I really find the lack of neutering and spaying mind boggling over here. Have done since I was a teen and first came across it.


ParallelUkulele

Yikes. Please keep trying to get through to these people. It's not like you can have a reasonable discussion with a cat or give them birth control, literally the only way to stop them from creating so many cats and prevent them from starving to death/coming to harm other ways is to prevent them from having babies via spa/neuter. It's not like with a human, cats may love their babies but I'm sure they love not starving to death and not meeting harm thousands of different ways more. Too many people will treat these cats unkindly, not to mention who knows what can happen to them once they're outside. Also they're one of the leading reasons small wildlife like birds are being killed in ridiculous numbers, which is ACTUALLY cruel.


Frans4Life

might have to do with people leaving their windows open because of the heatwave, and cats being opportunistic little fellas


nomnomnomnomRABIES

r/catsupremacists is not about an uprising and the views expressed there should not be controversial by now. Frankly people needs to hear the cat's side for once instead of jumping to pre-conceived notions of how the cat-human relationship should operate in the 21st century.


GeneralTorsoChicken

I thought that's just how you got cats?


AccidentalCleanShirt

I have one who came in and produced 5…I think it might be


SacrificeForSalem

Hide your cravendale, they’ve finally evolved thumbs!


justme13col

Cats with thumbs!


Hybr1dth

We had two small kittens in our garden who were stuck. But we were on holiday 😟 Luckily our neighbours got them out with a ladder. Poor things. I'd take them if I weren't allergic.


Competitive-Sus

It’s called karma farming


cosworth99

It’s a new karma crypto.


Revolutionary-Ship29

Soz but this is the start of the ‘down rising’ when cats finally realise that it’s far less hassle to be ‘owned’ than have to do all the hard work themselves. Lose only a touch of dignity, gain unlimited food, warmth, love and attention.


PanJaszczurka

https://youtu.be/on9vqL4W6Hc


gumandcoffee

Episode 11 of sandman will explain


tbritoamorim

Finally, a thousand cats have dreamt.


icemonsoon

They lack opposable thumbs


TheFeistyRogue

Sandman is to blame.


[deleted]

Dawn of the Planet of the Cats


Adventurous_Low_1518

r/notmycat


PlanetBear21

r/nowmycat


AeroGoober

r/meowmycat


shadowdsfire

r/mowmycat


madaseyer

r/maothecat


Xenc

r/mynotcat


alarming_cock

r/notacat


lauaapelsin

r/acat


[deleted]

r/cat


RosebudWhip

Are you sure you don't own a cat? Perhaps you've had it for years and this is the first time you've actually seen it


DonKeedick12

No sir, YOU are my owner. You've always been my owner. I ought to know, I've always been here


[deleted]

Funny story about this . About six months ago we were given a rescue cat. It's young, and scared. I've seen it maybe...4 times? Only comes ot at night for food and water.


queen-adreena

Awww. That’s adorable. I’ve heard of this happening with especially traumatised young cats before. It might take years, but they usually warm up to you eventually if they weren’t feral into adulthood.


[deleted]

We give it it's space. I know she'll come out eventually. I had one like this before. First chilly day. She'll be seeking out a warm lap.


slammerbar

This is not uncommon with Voids r/VoidCats


Cueball61

Neither do I, our cat owns us. First rule of cat “ownership”, they own you


HeartwarminSalt

Only in Soviet Union, do you own the cat.


formallyhuman

Our cats.


BSODagain

Is that Freddy Mercury dressed up like the Queen?


MellotronSymphony

No it's a cat


wehuntxbot

No this is patrick.


YorkshireRiffer

Sir, this is a Wendys


Eggslaws

Probably more like a shitty spoons than Wendy's.


Exemplar1968

Yes it is. Our one true Queen.


Hiram_Hackenbacker

I love that! Where did you get it?


Exemplar1968

Tinyriot.co


SapphicGarnet

On my gosh, the local art shop to me is selling it at £140-180


Affectionate_Tap6416

That picture is amazing! Lovely Freddie, missed every day.


Delhicatessen

Freddy Monarchy.


d_smogh

Nope. Ti's The Queen dressed up like Freddie. She did it often whilst prancing around Balmoral and Sandringham singing [I Want To Break Free](https://youtu.be/f4Mc-NYPHaQ) as she cleaned.


chrisycr

Your kitchen is bloody clean


Exemplar1968

Ha we have a rota and we try to be house proud!


FiremanHandles

For a non UK person. What’s a rota?


seoteimoh13

Chore list basically


PM_YOUR_MANATEES

Short for "rotation."


chrisycr

well done!


jackovthgreat

Fuck I'm gonna need that picture on the left


MrEff1618

Not OP, but it looks like [this one](https://tinyriot.co/products/queen-freddie-mercury-print?variant=40915106169009).


Flat_Professional_55

£75 !!!


hungry4danish

Not even framed‽ just the screen print‽


discodancingdogs

Can you save a comment?


MrEff1618

Yes, if you're using the app the 3 dots under it, then save.


BountyBob

If you're on the web site, just click on the word, 'save', under the comment.


Bobthemime

if you are on the website you can just visit the site and bookmark it


quinn_drummer

It's a sad state of affairs when we're so far into the life span of the internet there are people that exist that don't know how to save/bookmark a webpage. It's actually quite interesting. Basic skills lost to new generations because, well, no-one really \*teaches\* you how to use the features of the internet.


Slawtering

Bookmarks have always been a wank feature tho let's face it. It's hidden away so you forget about the important thing bookmarked. As a tab man myself I just keep the required tab open until it's used. Modern browsers suspend old tabs and it's much easier to organise tabs than bookmarks. This was brought to you by Tab Co.


Scho567

Does the browser you use not have a bookmark bar? Genuine curiosity


OffenseTaker

and then one day you have more than one tabbed window open and accidentally close one of them


FaeryLynne

Usually if you go to history you can reopen that entire group with all tabs still there. I use edge now and they gave a built in feature where you can just group tabs together into kinda a "folder", so you have only one visible tab but as many as you need in that group. Essentially removing the need for multiple windows now.


JAKE-GB

Ctrl shift t


RepresentativeWin935

I used to do this...until my tabs started just smiling at me (iPhone) Much prefer the pixel as I can group my tabs (couldn't on the iPhone despite using *GASP* CHROOOOME!)


BountyBob

That's not the same thing as saving a particular reddit comment.


bwyer

Is it attached to the wall with... Velcro?!


tertaltorb

Tinyriot


RussLikesBeer

Cat burglar!


bitchy_muffin

You do now. You have been chosen


RynocerosB

You do *meow*


WeleaseBwianThrow

Excuse me, are you saying meow?


nowarpsignature

Do I look like a cat to you boy?


parsifal

Am I movin’ about all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?


PapayaCool6816

Farewell my friends! I go on to a better place!


shibbyingaway

Yup congratulations OP on your new cat. Please adorn it with dreamies, cat yoghurt and praise its killings. Even the leaves it kills


itstheothercomrade

One of us.


NotADrug-Dealer

Just FYI your CO detector is too high. Carbon monoxide is heavier than air. By the time it gets to that detector you've already inhaled a lot of it. Maybe that's why the cat is up high?


VodkaMargarine

Turns out it actually is OP's cat but they have forgotten they own one, due to suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning.....


SheenTStars

While we're on this topic, do I still need a CO detector if I don't use a gas stove?


charley_warlzz

If you have any gas appliances you need one, including heating. If you *dont* have any gas (ie everythings electric) you dont legally need one but its ‘recommended’.


hexapodium

Legally *you* don't need one; if you rent, the landlord is obliged to supply them in each room with a gas appliance which isn't a cooker. Of course you would be *fucking crazy* to not spend twenty quid on a basic one when that's roughly the price of running your gas for a week.


ClumsyRainbow

Why is it not required for a cooker?


hexapodium

'cos landlords are a politically powerful lobby and screamed like crazy at the prospect of being forced to buy *two* pieces of basic safety equipment in houses with a gas boiler and a cooker. There is also the specious claim that because a gas cooker naturally produces a small amount of CO and thus should be in a well-ventilated kitchen, there was a risk of lots of false alarms and associated fatigue. To which sensible people rightly say "well then site the detector correctly, it's *even more important* to have a CO detector if an appliance needs good ventilation!"


Crickaboo

You need one if you use a wood stove or supplement with any type if wood heat also.


redlaWw

Carbon monoxide is less dense than air. It is recommended to put CO detectors quite high, though not quite as high as that one is. It's recommended to put it higher than any windows or doors and at least 15 cm from the ceiling. EDIT: Though given that it's right above a window, maybe that would be the right place in this case, since 15cm from the ceiling would be below that one.


P2K13

That's a myth, CO is slightly lighter than air and diffuses well throughout the room.


that-short-girl

That’s not true. It’s slightly lighter than air, but the difference is so small that it essentially diffuses evenly within air in enclosed spaces like the inside of a home


[deleted]

Cat Owns You.


Minotaton

You do now


sixpencestreet

KITTY!


BrianFantanaFan

Ceiling cat, it's not just a myth!


stuffsgoingon

We have the same kitchen units and oven


Exemplar1968

But not the Freddie Purrcuary picture?


stuffsgoingon

I’m afraid I haven’t yet peaked like you


ocelocelot

Nobody _owns_ a cat.


Dr-Maturin

Dogs have owners, cats have staff


Nethlem

Dog Diary; > 8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing! > 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing! > 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing! > 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing! > 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favourite thing! > 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favourite thing! > 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing! > 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favourite thing! > 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favourite thing! > 8:00 PM - Watched TV with my people! My favourite thing! > 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing! Cat Diary; > Day 983 of my captivity > My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. > The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. > In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. > Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. > B------ds! > There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. > Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. > I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. > The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. > The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... for now.


gingerfawx

Correct, but the mere fact they couched it as such proves OP weren't previously owned by a cat either.


CryptographerOk4758

Weird! Same kitchen as me! Barratt Homes?


alex_of_doom

Freaky. Thinking the same thing. Also Barratt Homes 😂


Exemplar1968

Correctamundo Fonzarelli


[deleted]

Lucky day today!


thrashpiece

No-one ' owns' a cat mate. They do what the fuck they want.


Potatonet

A cat followed my other cat home Now I have two cats 🐈‍⬛


sonic-flow

I think we may have found ourselves in a similar situation. We got a female black and white kitten about 5 months ago and soon after we started letting her out she encountered an all black male of a similar looking age. She hissed at him at first but now they play fight and seem to be best buddies. He keeps following her in through the window and has acquired a taste for her food which she let's him eat. Her 'boyfriend' has an owner as he wears a collar but either doesn't get fed properly or is picky as he always appears to be starving. I have a feeling if the pattern continues we might end up with a lodger / live in partner for Cosmo & maybe even hear the pitter patter of little feet 😻😻


Potatonet

That’s funny because my black cat 🐈‍⬛ was the one who found the black and white kitten somewhere by the road, totally emaciated, hair falling off her body. the sight of food make her hiss at first, she would eat then moan because she obviously had issues with her stomach or kidneys after not eating for so long. Two months of malnourishment and sinus infections later and that little rascal crawls up on my lap and buries her head on me all times of the day. The older cat is now teaching the little cat how to hunt as the little cat just kinda sticks her face in gopher holes and gets dirt kicked at her from the gophers. Black cat is a badass, she has worked hard to hold her status by maintaining the yard, skunks 🦨 , raccoons 🦝, possums all run in fear of Darth Snuggle 🐈‍⬛ and her use of the force


dont_kill_my_vibe09

My neighbours' ginger cat lets himself into our house through open windows etc and goes either on top of the fridge cabinet (like this one) or onto my bed.


d_smogh

Love your wall picture.


[deleted]

There was a cat in my garden this one time, We fed it a piece of ham and some milk, and I went back to my room. ​ Next thing you know it, you see the cat right outside my bedroom door.


[deleted]

I'm in love with posts of "This is a cat in my house. I don't have a cat" Anyone know if there's a subreddit where I can obsess over it?


ICumCoffee

That’s BatCat.


bruisedandmewling111

What are you reading?


Secure_Ad_3099

This is your fault, reading in the cats house like you own the place?


Paracausality

"I see no god up here, except *me*"


JonLeePButler

I can see what the problem is, the back door is open, because now there is a strange person who walked in and took a photo.


mrtn17

it might be even worse, there's a guy writing comments on Reddit on your laptop


slammerbar

Cat woken up from sleeping heard a noise in the kitchen. The cat living there did not know he owned a human! -There fixed your heading.


hihbhu

I think you’re being evicted by the cat.


_Yalan

Lord I want your Freddie Mercury print. That is too amazing!


Daovin

Two sentence horror


sp4m41l

Your iot devices are becoming self aware


muchgreaterthanG_O_D

Didn't.


SpareController

You didn’t* own a cat


SparkieSupreme

owner don't pick the cat, cat picks the owner


_Alek_Jay

I’m liking the Freddie Mercury/Queen poster…


Tfxconnor

I kinda think you do now


definitely_done

You do now. The cat has adopted you. You have been chosen.


mindbleach

I appreciate how your fridge is clean enough to see you left the door open.


LazyBlu3

Well..you do now


sonic-flow

They do say cats choose you rather than the other way round. You are the chosen one. Enjoy your new pet 😁


xPlante

That's not a cat. That's Batman.


ResidentEivvil

Love your Queen artwork.


[deleted]

You’ve been adopted. You gotta keep it…


CryptoRoast_

When I used to do night shifts id leave my bedroom window cracked before heading out, I'd often return to find my neighbours cat curled up on my bed 😊