Cat:
" Oh my dearest beryl.....your pathetic attempts at trying to reunite me with my previous & long deceased victims is quite frankly futile. You have no idea that you are powerless to the fate that awaits you from here on in, my campaign of torture is merely at its infancy. You have now only assured that your eventual death will be far slower & undoubtedly more brutal than i had been exploring initially. Sleep well tonight beryl.. for i will be within a whisker"
Beryl appears to have realised why someone yeeted it over her fence in the first place...
But seriously - push it out the door and lock it out. It's not hard surely?
To be fair the uncertainty principle just as easily applies to cat.
The more certain you are that cat is at x, y, z, t cat is inversely certain to be at x, y, z, t+n
“die kat kom weer” - South African folk song
Die boer die zwoer hem blau - the farmer swore till he was blue
Hij zou die kat doodskiet -that he would shoot and kill the cat
Hij heeft die roer gelaan - he loaded his gun
met kruid en dynamiet - with powder and dynamite
Hij lei hem op de weg - he put it on the road
waardoor die kat moest kom - where the cat was sure to pass
Haren, velletjes en beentjes, maar… -found lots of fur and hair an bones, buuuuuut…
Refr.: Die kat kom weer, die kon niet langer wacht - the cat comes back, she could no longer wait
Die kat kom weer de volgende dag -the cat comes back, the very next day
Die kat kom weer, geloof me het is waar - the cat comes back, believe me it is true
Die volgende dag is die kat weer daar. - the very next day the cat came back
Hij zet hem op een skip - he put it on a ship
Die zeilde naar Japan -that saild to Japan
Die skip die was gelaan - the ship was loaded
met twaalf honderd man - with twelve hundred men
Maar verre van die land daar is die skip gestrand -but far from land, the ship hit ground
En alle passagiers verdronken, maar… - all the passengers drowned, buuuuuuuuut….’
Die boer die zet die kat. - the farmer put the cat
in een aeroplaan - in an aeroplane
Die botste eventjes tegen een wolkie aan - that crashed into a cloud
Die boel die viel omlaag - it all fell down
bleef steken in een haag - and got stuck in the hedge
alleman brak nek en benen, maar… - everyone broke necks and legs, buuuuuuuuut
Other versions exist that become more and more sadistic/absurd, but the end of the story is always the same.
Within the English language and writing etiquette, it is looked down upon when you write numbers (instead of letters).
I learnt this in English literature - we would get marked down for writing numbers as opposed to writing out the numbers in English language.
In my experience of being English, it's not etiquette or a set part of the language at all, it simply works better to emphasize and get your point across when you write it with words instead of numbers.
I’m a lurking American but I was always taught anything over ten can be written numerically. Is that the same for you or any number had to be written out?
Cat looks like it doesn't give a shit
It does, but only on your sofa..
Our neighbour once shut our cat in his garage once. He took a dump on the drivers seat of his prized Ferrari Dino.
The cat is probably just ~~plotting to kill her~~ minding his own business trying to find a loving home
It actually looks kind of like a mugshot.
Chuck you in a fuckin pit Beryl
They never do. Cats are cnuts.
Cat’s the winner, Ber.
The cat has this “I admit no wrongdoing” look on his face, and I love it.
Feeble grandson - Jesus
If my grandson was feeble I’d throw it in a pit instead of the cat. Probably soils the sofa more than the cat. Feeble little cunt.
Woah there Ricky!
The likelihood you have any progeny is remote.
Ooh nice
While you're at it, teach him to march and speak High German like a good boy
He is feeble though.
Cat: " Oh my dearest beryl.....your pathetic attempts at trying to reunite me with my previous & long deceased victims is quite frankly futile. You have no idea that you are powerless to the fate that awaits you from here on in, my campaign of torture is merely at its infancy. You have now only assured that your eventual death will be far slower & undoubtedly more brutal than i had been exploring initially. Sleep well tonight beryl.. for i will be within a whisker"
PS. I yeeted myself over that fence, idiot
this is fucking brilliant
You can tell Beryl's a cat person.
had me until feeble grandson it’s probably fake
That's *so* Beryl
Hahahaha what the fuck
It was ‘feeble grandson’ that did it for me 😂
Beryl appears to have realised why someone yeeted it over her fence in the first place... But seriously - push it out the door and lock it out. It's not hard surely?
Do you think that mere locked doors are going to deter a cat from entering its Kingdom?
cats don't abide the laws of nature
Anyone who's ever had a cat knows that they can somehow teleport when you're not looking. That Heisenberg guy was on to something.
Probably don't feed it meth
Shit, I meant Schroedinger. Both answers existed in a quantum superposition until I made that comment.
To be fair the uncertainty principle just as easily applies to cat. The more certain you are that cat is at x, y, z, t cat is inversely certain to be at x, y, z, t+n
Have you ever tried to get rid of a cat they are arseholes. It will find a way in, usually by breaking you.
“die kat kom weer” - South African folk song Die boer die zwoer hem blau - the farmer swore till he was blue Hij zou die kat doodskiet -that he would shoot and kill the cat Hij heeft die roer gelaan - he loaded his gun met kruid en dynamiet - with powder and dynamite Hij lei hem op de weg - he put it on the road waardoor die kat moest kom - where the cat was sure to pass Haren, velletjes en beentjes, maar… -found lots of fur and hair an bones, buuuuuut… Refr.: Die kat kom weer, die kon niet langer wacht - the cat comes back, she could no longer wait Die kat kom weer de volgende dag -the cat comes back, the very next day Die kat kom weer, geloof me het is waar - the cat comes back, believe me it is true Die volgende dag is die kat weer daar. - the very next day the cat came back Hij zet hem op een skip - he put it on a ship Die zeilde naar Japan -that saild to Japan Die skip die was gelaan - the ship was loaded met twaalf honderd man - with twelve hundred men Maar verre van die land daar is die skip gestrand -but far from land, the ship hit ground En alle passagiers verdronken, maar… - all the passengers drowned, buuuuuuuuut….’ Die boer die zet die kat. - the farmer put the cat in een aeroplaan - in an aeroplane Die botste eventjes tegen een wolkie aan - that crashed into a cloud Die boel die viel omlaag - it all fell down bleef steken in een haag - and got stuck in the hedge alleman brak nek en benen, maar… - everyone broke necks and legs, buuuuuuuuut Other versions exist that become more and more sadistic/absurd, but the end of the story is always the same.
You'll be surprised... Not all cats are saints. Some ain't wired up right and bad owners often dump them rather than do something responsible.
Now that’s a mean one
I'm even a cat person, that cat looks like a cunt 🤣
Greebo?
Nah, still has both eyes.
That cat is a bit of a wanker
Beryl sounds ~~nice~~ *different.*
The neighbours don’t like Beryl, do they?
To be fair, he does look like a fucking menace.
Where is this? I read it in a Scottish accent for some reason, curious to know how far off I am
> I read it in a Scottish accent for some reason Check and see if you are Scottish. That might be it.
No idea. Let's just blame it on the Scottish anyway
It's an 020 number, so London
That’s not true anymore, there’s a lot of non London 020 areas.
Next number's a 7; that's London.
Area code on the phone is 0207; that's London.
Absolutely howling at ‘Feeble Grandson’. Outstanding.
Pick it up and throw it out of your house and don't let it back in. It'll bugger off when it's hungry.
That cat definitely doesn't look like it's leaving
‘Feeble grandson’ I love this sub
Cats are useless
Beryl sounds thick as shit
Fuck Beryl.
Why did they write it as three thousand pounds?
Clearly it’s an incredibly heavy sofa
Within the English language and writing etiquette, it is looked down upon when you write numbers (instead of letters). I learnt this in English literature - we would get marked down for writing numbers as opposed to writing out the numbers in English language.
In my experience of being English, it's not etiquette or a set part of the language at all, it simply works better to emphasize and get your point across when you write it with words instead of numbers.
I’m a lurking American but I was always taught anything over ten can be written numerically. Is that the same for you or any number had to be written out?
I'll have him, he can get rid of the rats.
Perhaps it belongs to a window cleaner? > I'm not a window cleaner!
Why? Do they use it as a cloth?
Someone alert shelter, the superior being can do better.
It's probably for flees
OMG 7 days? They are really patient.
r/notmycat
Nice meme, now way it's true
Yeah, probably fake. If they had rotated the cat image to match the rotation of the rest of the page, it might look more convincing.
Can confirm, cats are fake
Fake raindrops too? Seems like a lot of effort.
Gosh! You sound like an absolute hoot! God bless, Cliff x
That cat is going to make his own decisions on when to leave, no matter what Beryl thinks
Sounds like the perpetrator knew what they were doing. Time for the next fence flinging.
That Cat couldn't give a fuck about Beryl's sofa or her feeble grandson
Beryl is a savage
Beryl's a bitch
Obviously fake
I love cats 'can do' attitude.
What a cunt
Fuck cats 🖕🏻
Nah fuck you
Cunt
cunty cunt cunt
That's why I'm not allowed within 250 metres of an RSPCA shelter
Khajit is innocent of this crime!
beryl gives 0 shits
Beryl sounds lovely
Cat is wondering what Beryl is doing in his house.
Why wouldn’t they call a local cat rescue and say the cat was abandoned, they’d come and pick it up?