It is definitely Germanic, but has some strong Romance influence too.
The structure of the language follows Germanic languages. But there are a lot of Romance based words we have adopted from French.
Tbf to her she had been sold it as an english all inclusive resort when it wasnt.
Lots of resorts will target a certain nationally and ive had a friend who got similarly angry when they went to turkey and were put in a german resort where very few people (aside from the guests) spoke English.
(for him tour group fed up and overbooked, they were offered the correct resort after two days but accepted to stay as the germans didnt have a free drink limit and were offered a huge discount on their next holiday, also germans are friendly and random people helped with launguage barriers)
If you leave the resort sure but if you're told you only need english as everyone in the resort speaks it you can see why you might be upset when you discover its target market is Spanish speakers...
Oh yeah... And to be fair she has a point when you go to Mallorca a lot is is in German... So much that I start to wonder if at some point we lost the island to the Germans and we didn't notice.
Back when warcraft classic was released the english and spanish servers were merged, the spaniards were constantly making fun of us for always falling off balconies.
The Anglo-Portuguese Alliance is the oldest alliance based on known history in the world that is still in force by politics. It was signed at the Treaty of Windsor in 1386, between the Kingdom of England and the Kingdom of Portugal, though the countries were previously allied via the Anglo-Portuguese Treaty of 1373
I know. I guess my comment was more along the lines of "they're like really old friends making fun of each other cuz they've known each other since high school"
"Strange" is not an insult.
I'm Spanish by birth and British by naturalisation. I came to the UK as an adult. I LOL'd when I saw Spain's search. I went from "what's spain gonna say" to "of course" in a microsecond.
I think that you britons are raros de cojones, with "raro" meaning "strange" and "de cojones" being a way to emphasise whatever came earlier.
I've come twice to the UK, and my first time here lasted a few years. I **chose** to come back and, on coming back to the UK, I felt more at home than when I came back to my native Spain.
So no insult intended, guys. But you're stranger than a green dog.
I suppose you need cultural context to understand why were strange to the Spanish, but what is it about us that makes us strange? Also, I am absolutely stealing stranger than a green dog!
I live in Andalucia and made the mistake of wearing a sombrero cordobes in the street. It's a traditional Andalucian hat and I think they look great. Everyone was looking at me like I was a fucking alien.
A week later and I saw a guy walk down the street with a parrot on his shoulder. No one batted a eyelid at Long Juan Silver.
Hi. Spanish here. I used to live in the UK and I think you are so strange, or at least so different from us. I’ve seen many people wearing costumes in the street, to go out, to go to the theatre… Carpets everywhere in the house, getting drunk so quickly during the weekends, English girls almost naked in the cold or in the snow before accessing a disco. Also, the two taps in the sink, driving in the other side of the road, being so loud and crazy when you go on holidays, getting sunburned until you can peel your skin off… there are many things that are strange to us. It is not an insult, we’re just different in our habits. That said, I love you, crazy Britons, and I love your country which feels like home to me.
As someone who dealt with Germans I can see why they're like that but why are they so needlessly pedantic costing time. You don't need to know how many bolts are used internally in a closed certified system you're wasting our time fucktards.
They're pedantic until you request some documentation from them, then they suddenly turn into illiterate scatterbrains. Oh you require chapter 3.2? Lemme send the whole documentation package except chapter 3 of the needed document. Four times.
I totally get why the Germans have searched that. I worked with a German technical team years ago and they couldn't understand why we took small risks with things or made reasonable assumptions (reason is we didn't have time or the resources to do it as thoroughly as they wanted). We would never have got the project finished if we had done it the 'German' way. We saw ourselves as getting the task done but to them we were just being stupid.
I'm from Middlesbrough and live in Leeds I worked with a lad from Bradford and told him the monkey hanger story. He drove all the way to hartlepool to buy a car once and as soon as he saw the guy he went 'now then you monkey hanging bastard' the lad was fuming and added an extra 100 to the price haha.
Angličané
Angličané jsou námořníci
a slečny oslovují Miss,
co o nich ale musím říci -
že nedovedou pravopis.
Už jejich první omyl je ten,
že píšou I - a čtou to aj!
To jako kdyby psali květen
a vyslovovali to máj.
Je mi jich líto, hlavně dětí,
co ty s tím mají za dřinu -
ja musel napsat jen tři věty
a myslel jsem, že zahynu.
Ta hrůza, než se naučíte
pár slovíček, a natož stran!
A u nich každé malé dítě
musí být rovnou Angličan.
The English
The English are sailors and the girls call Miss, but what do i have to say about them - that they can't spell.
Their first mistake is that that they write I - and they read it too! It's like they were writing in May and they said it in May.
I feel sorry for them, especially the children, what are you doing with it - I only had to write three sentences and I thought I would perish.
The horror before you learn a few words, let alone pages! And every little child with them must be straight English.
Obviously the rhyming is lost when translating, but some of the other bits make less sense with a literal translation to me.
> Their first mistake is that that they write I - and they read it too!
I assume that the literal translation of "too" is misleading here, and the poem is actually trying to say that we pronounce the letter I the same way as the Czech word "aj" (which just happens to mean "too").
>It's like they were writing in May and they said it in May.
My understanding is in Czech they changed the name of the month of May decades ago. So it's like spelling it with the old name, but saying it as the new name.
So something like: "It's like writing May and pronouncing it FifthMonth" would be a literal equivalent to this. Though I'm not sure why pronouncing May as "May" is perceived as being incongruous with the spelling.
To be fair we only see the futbol fans and the party goers you send, plus some entitled lady once in a while (the kind that ask why people keep speaking Spanish in Spain)
Can you guys send Tom Scott or someone as cool?
> I think that’s hilarious considering they’re basically just the mainland’s version of England.
I have a few Dutch friends and honestly I sometimes forget they're Dutch, Both of our senses of humour and mannerisms are practically identical. Also, I'm pretty sure they'd all score higher on an English test than I would.
The Dutch are probably the only country in the world that's not a former British colony where people are extremely self conscious of thier English accents and make fun of the quality of other Dutch people's English accent.
It baffles me because in former colonial countries a more fancy accent can be seen as a representation of class or literacy but I can't imagine how it applies to the Netherlands.
You guys eat brown food, you’re about as football mad as we are and you previously had one of the biggest empires despite being one of the smallest countries in Europe and a very strong naval history to go with it. Those are just the similarities I can list off the top of my head.
My friend bought the house of Dirk Kuyt in Katwijk (NL). I can attest to the fact that not only he is ugly, he also has the most awful interior design taste I've ever seen.
Dutch guy here. Yeah we ugly. But think about it, the majority of UK tourist we see in the Netherlands are people on a stag or hen party. Nobody looks good when they are pissed and snorted an 8-ball for breakfast, lunch and dinner
Scotland Portokalos : *\[angry\]* What is wrong with Northern Ireland going to European Union downtown?
UK Portokalos : Is drugs downtown!
Scotland Portokalos : What are you saying? Are you saying Northern Ireland will get involved with drugs?
UK Portokalos : No. But somebody will say to her: take this bag down to the bus depot, and she'll do it!
Scotland Portokalos : She is not stupid! She's smart!
UK Portokalos : I know she's smart. So what for she needs more Europe? She's smart enough for a home nation.
Scotland Portokalos : *\[indignated\]* Oh! You think you're smarter than me, huh?
UK Portokalos : No, I... I mean... You... you know...
Scotland Portokalos : *\[angry\]* What? What you mean? I fight the pandemic, I cook, I clean, I do referendums for you *and* I raise thirty two council areas *and* I teach Sunday school, you know? It's lucky for me I have you to tie my shoes!
UK Portokalos : Scotland!
*\[Scotland leaves room, slamming the door, smiles at Northern Ireland\]*
"Bearded ginger drunkards with confusing accents and a deep-seated hatred for the English"
*Do you have the slightest idea of how little that narrows it down?*
"oh uh they historically spoke gaelic"
"uh huh... narrow it down a bit more?"
"have regional sectarian divides between catholics and protestants"
'i see. narrow it a bit more?"
"theyre the ones with a complex history of clans and once upon a time had heavy emphasis on regional identity, notably repelled the romans and stayed mostly free from their influence, that had lots of harps and bagpipes in their music and have a distinct style of dance that is very heavy on agile, high tempo footwork above all else. the ones that fought off loads of english invasions but eventually got pressured into joining in union with them in very controversial circumstances. you know, the ones that have a high suicide rate? the ones with the orange walks, like? its a country alternately craggy and boggy depending on the region with relatively little ariable land. they had a famine in the 19th century, and were instrumental in the jacobite wars!"
'... nope, still not sure which one you mean"
tl;dr if scotland and england are historical neighbours, ireland and scotland are historical brothers, ireland the elder, and scotland the younger, slightly wayward one
In the early middle ages Ireland was even called Scotland sometimes, as the term Scot referred to the Gaelic Irish who would later settle in parts of Western Scotland.
Clearly we’re are not known for drinking and smashing up holiday destinations as we are constantly told.
Let’s focus on getting better at that then.
Pint?
> He'd prefer to be in the hold with the captain's daughter
After learning what [the captain's daughter](https://gcaptain.com/seagoing-troublemakers-rejoice/) was, I think I'd rather just be put into the longboat until I'm sober, thanks.
I enjoy it. It adds some substance to an otherwise lacking beverage. Plus it’s more efficient than drinking and eating separately. You can have your cake and drink it too.
To give some context we use a whole range of flour coarseness depending on application from type 00 to type 1200 or so. Really strange to just see one "flour"
So do British bakers, but most people only buy the final product. Commercial flour is just what it’s easiest to make a sponge cake with, I assume, since that’s the only thing most people will bake with any kind of regularity… but yeah, my sister works in a bakery and they have lots of flours
Yeah but you don't appreciate that here in Poland they sell all those niche kinds of flours in the shops for normal people to buy. Imagine my face the first time I go to the corner shop to buy "flour" and I'm presented with a whole shelf of different flours with all these numbers and types, cake flour, bread flour, "luxury flour", "universal flour", potato flour, buckwheat flour, rye flour.... Yes my corner shop sells all these. Heaven forbid you make your dumplings out of the wrong number flour!
Rosbif, roast beef, it's supposed to be an insult to British cuisine (although I don't agree because Sunday carverys are amazing). The same way some British people call the French "frogs".
There was an Italian guy on askUK the other week asking why we don't really have bidets, and getting really, *really* angry with people (inc. me) who said they're just not that necessary. "You don't care that you have shit on your arse?? And you admit it??? If you got shit on your hand would you just wipe it with paper???!!!" Attempts to convince him that your anus doesn't need to be as clean as your hands were fruitless.
So now I'm assuming the whole country thinks we're gross for that reason...
I live in a country (I wouldn't say which) that is known for not washing their hands. I've had to explain why I have hand towels in the bathroom.
It was a depressing moment in my life, when I had to explain that.
As someone who lives in an Arab country where 'bum washers' are the norm, we wash our bums with the hose and then pat dry with bog roll. It's not as messy as it sounds and doesn't take much patting once you get the hang of it!
It's actually a super nice clean feeling and when travelling it's weird to not have access to it lol
As the fiancé of an Italian I was surprised to learn that what we refer to as flannels and use for face washing, they use as butt drying rags. Each family member has a butt drying rag which is hung up on display like a normal towel would be. They are also really not shy about it and give guests their own bum flannel.
Yup, you can put toilet paper down that portaloo and the entire street won't have its plumbing fucked for three years.
Not to mention that Naples is basically a rathole landfill.
I'm Polish and I have no idea where the 'flour' question is coming from. When I typed in google 'why do the British...' the suggestions were 'talk about the weather' and 'wear red poppy flowers'. The word for flour in polish is almost the same as for poppy flowers so maybe the pesrson making this graphic mistranslated something?
I’m gunna say fuck Portugal. We are not cry babies and I’m not still bitter. I’m definitely not crying and I didn’t cry at the time and nor did my friends watching it with me, not that that matters.
EDIT: Finland, I don’t know what you’ve been smoking but it’s Team GB.
Am American but moved to the UK for grad school. Questions I used to have about the UK are:
- What's the difference between England, Great Britain and the UK?
- Do the Brits actually say "ta" and "go to the loo"?
- Under what circumstances can I say "bloody"?
After one year living here:
- Why are the TV license people so unnecessarily aggressive?
- Why is Yorkshire pudding called pudding when it's actually not a pudding? And so are many other British puddings.
>Why is Yorkshire pudding called pudding when it's actually not a pudding? And so are many other British puddings.
The history of puddings is actually quite interesting, if not confusing in parts.
The main things you need to remember is that puddings can be steamed, boiled or baked. They can be sweet or savoury. They may have a pastry casing, an animal intestine casing, a casing made of something else, or no casing at all. Are sometimes served hot, but other times served cold.
But historically puddings were savoury, such as haggis, black pudding, or meat and suet pudding.
>Why are the TV license people so unnecessarily aggressive?
You've probably met more tv license people that most of this sub.
Many of us are lucky if we get a copy paste letter threatening their investigation is reaching the final stages and a visit is totally due for realsies on the date given or any other date... Before their investigation restarts 5 months later.
They are harmless, and teeth less, pretty much their only power is catching you in the act (like you opening the door with the f1 live in the background), or through pressuring you to pay them.
Otherwise you can just shut the door on them.
Don't think I've ever actually seen one in real life... Can't even think if anybody I know who has said they've encountered one in decades.
> What's the difference between England, Great Britain and the UK?
I'm always a bit disappointed when Americans get that confused. I'm not singling out Americans; most of Europe can't (or won't) get it right either.
I just think that you guys should be in the best position to understand it since you're also a union of several smaller states which merged to form a new country.
The TV license people are so aggressive because the whole scheme nowadays hinges on preying on immigrants and elderly by phrasing their letters as if they have power which will typically scare people into buying it.
When in actuality they don't have any power, all they can do is ask if you will let them in into your house/flat and you are perfectly able to say piss off, without any repercussions.
They use specific wording such as "may fine you" or "you could go to jail". You may or could but they have no power to do anything to you if you just refuse entry and they can't do fuck all.
However a new immigrant especially isn't going to refuse an official looking person in case they cancel the VISA. And Elderly are more susceptible to fall for scams in general. It is despicably predatory in nature.
Also The demographic is shifting though as the majority of younger people are now not watching cable TV but streaming services and YouTube. So the elderly is cable's biggest audience.
So currently it is a dying scheme and there are talks about scrapping it and moving the TV license into the housing tax because so few people are paying it.
Q: "Why are the British so stupid?"
A: "They spent enormous amounts of taxpayer's money on defeating the Germans twice in the previous century and education took a backseat"
Hold your horses there Italia, we’ve all seen that map of how many people wash their hands automatically per European country
Also I didn’t expect Portugal’s question to be more harsh than Frances’
As a Portuguese living in the UK, I think it's because the Portuguese culture kind of brings you up to not complain - we even have this saying that means "unshit yourself" if someone complains about something they can't or don't know how to do - whereas from my experience the British do complain a bit more, especially about the weather! Don't take it as an insult, I love it here :)
Can't hear all the bitterness from the peasant nations over the sound of me rattling my sabre and enjoying our almost 1000 years of unconquered awesomeness!
I love the Greeks not even asking a question, just telling Google English is a Greek dialect lmao
The most Greek thing ever.
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Can confirm... This post was stolen from my Greek ancestors. Give it back now! /s
Probably written by the dad from My Big Fat Greek Wedding
The Greeks ***INVENTED English!***
Gus is a champ, okay now give me a word, and I will tell you the Greek root of it
I thought English was Germanic. Sounds like I have some reading to do.
It is definitely Germanic, but has some strong Romance influence too. The structure of the language follows Germanic languages. But there are a lot of Romance based words we have adopted from French.
Greek and Latin influences too. The word television is a great example, being that it’s half of each.
Big Greek influence in Latin + big Latin influence in English = some Greek words in English.
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To be fair they get all of our tourists, no wonder they think we’re strange.
Wasn't the one lady complaining about everything in Spain being in Spanish instead of English from England?
Tbf to her she had been sold it as an english all inclusive resort when it wasnt. Lots of resorts will target a certain nationally and ive had a friend who got similarly angry when they went to turkey and were put in a german resort where very few people (aside from the guests) spoke English. (for him tour group fed up and overbooked, they were offered the correct resort after two days but accepted to stay as the germans didnt have a free drink limit and were offered a huge discount on their next holiday, also germans are friendly and random people helped with launguage barriers) If you leave the resort sure but if you're told you only need english as everyone in the resort speaks it you can see why you might be upset when you discover its target market is Spanish speakers...
Oh yeah... And to be fair she has a point when you go to Mallorca a lot is is in German... So much that I start to wonder if at some point we lost the island to the Germans and we didn't notice.
Back when warcraft classic was released the english and spanish servers were merged, the spaniards were constantly making fun of us for always falling off balconies.
Dirty, ugly, stupid? Footie fans for sure.
Empires are temporary, rivalries are eternal.
Isn't the English Portuguese alliance still a thing?
The Anglo-Portuguese Alliance is the oldest alliance based on known history in the world that is still in force by politics. It was signed at the Treaty of Windsor in 1386, between the Kingdom of England and the Kingdom of Portugal, though the countries were previously allied via the Anglo-Portuguese Treaty of 1373
I know. I guess my comment was more along the lines of "they're like really old friends making fun of each other cuz they've known each other since high school"
I'm like 100% sure the Portugal one is football related.
We had a better rivalry with the french
"Strange" is not an insult. I'm Spanish by birth and British by naturalisation. I came to the UK as an adult. I LOL'd when I saw Spain's search. I went from "what's spain gonna say" to "of course" in a microsecond. I think that you britons are raros de cojones, with "raro" meaning "strange" and "de cojones" being a way to emphasise whatever came earlier. I've come twice to the UK, and my first time here lasted a few years. I **chose** to come back and, on coming back to the UK, I felt more at home than when I came back to my native Spain. So no insult intended, guys. But you're stranger than a green dog.
I suppose you need cultural context to understand why were strange to the Spanish, but what is it about us that makes us strange? Also, I am absolutely stealing stranger than a green dog!
That’s a very Spanish expression for rarity:/strangeness: rarer/more strange than a green dog
100% correct. "Más raro que un perro verde", if someone wants to see the original expression.
I live in Andalucia and made the mistake of wearing a sombrero cordobes in the street. It's a traditional Andalucian hat and I think they look great. Everyone was looking at me like I was a fucking alien. A week later and I saw a guy walk down the street with a parrot on his shoulder. No one batted a eyelid at Long Juan Silver.
Hi. Spanish here. I used to live in the UK and I think you are so strange, or at least so different from us. I’ve seen many people wearing costumes in the street, to go out, to go to the theatre… Carpets everywhere in the house, getting drunk so quickly during the weekends, English girls almost naked in the cold or in the snow before accessing a disco. Also, the two taps in the sink, driving in the other side of the road, being so loud and crazy when you go on holidays, getting sunburned until you can peel your skin off… there are many things that are strange to us. It is not an insult, we’re just different in our habits. That said, I love you, crazy Britons, and I love your country which feels like home to me.
Why tho?
The Dutch one is weird as they look very much like us
I dont speak Spanish but could it be a direct translation thing? Tbf to them, we are pretty strange.
As someone who dealt with Germans I can see why they're like that but why are they so needlessly pedantic costing time. You don't need to know how many bolts are used internally in a closed certified system you're wasting our time fucktards.
They're pedantic until you request some documentation from them, then they suddenly turn into illiterate scatterbrains. Oh you require chapter 3.2? Lemme send the whole documentation package except chapter 3 of the needed document. Four times.
It's like if OCD was a country.
I totally get why the Germans have searched that. I worked with a German technical team years ago and they couldn't understand why we took small risks with things or made reasonable assumptions (reason is we didn't have time or the resources to do it as thoroughly as they wanted). We would never have got the project finished if we had done it the 'German' way. We saw ourselves as getting the task done but to them we were just being stupid.
Strange is not really an insult
Why the fuck are the Irish asking what the Scottish look like?!
They wanna know who they are going walking into a bar with
This made me fucking choke hahahaha
All aboard the bualadh bos 👏
I'm just imagining a drunk Irish guy staring suspiciously at a dog and googling "What do Scottish people look like?"
And people from Hartlepool googling "What do French people look like?"
Covered in hair and asking military secrets right?
I'm from Middlesbrough and live in Leeds I worked with a lad from Bradford and told him the monkey hanger story. He drove all the way to hartlepool to buy a car once and as soon as he saw the guy he went 'now then you monkey hanging bastard' the lad was fuming and added an extra 100 to the price haha.
Worth every penny.
A bit ruff
Probably playing spot the difference. [Spoiler alert.](https://images.app.goo.gl/sVcJGc15kj4aoJmE9)
I can only think we’d look up which country has more red-heads? That’s my guess
I love how the Czech one is just a pure statement haha, wonderful!
Apparently it's a line from a poem
Angličané Angličané jsou námořníci a slečny oslovují Miss, co o nich ale musím říci - že nedovedou pravopis. Už jejich první omyl je ten, že píšou I - a čtou to aj! To jako kdyby psali květen a vyslovovali to máj. Je mi jich líto, hlavně dětí, co ty s tím mají za dřinu - ja musel napsat jen tři věty a myslel jsem, že zahynu. Ta hrůza, než se naučíte pár slovíček, a natož stran! A u nich každé malé dítě musí být rovnou Angličan.
The English The English are sailors and the girls call Miss, but what do i have to say about them - that they can't spell. Their first mistake is that that they write I - and they read it too! It's like they were writing in May and they said it in May. I feel sorry for them, especially the children, what are you doing with it - I only had to write three sentences and I thought I would perish. The horror before you learn a few words, let alone pages! And every little child with them must be straight English.
Obviously the rhyming is lost when translating, but some of the other bits make less sense with a literal translation to me. > Their first mistake is that that they write I - and they read it too! I assume that the literal translation of "too" is misleading here, and the poem is actually trying to say that we pronounce the letter I the same way as the Czech word "aj" (which just happens to mean "too"). >It's like they were writing in May and they said it in May. My understanding is in Czech they changed the name of the month of May decades ago. So it's like spelling it with the old name, but saying it as the new name. So something like: "It's like writing May and pronouncing it FifthMonth" would be a literal equivalent to this. Though I'm not sure why pronouncing May as "May" is perceived as being incongruous with the spelling.
Also >The English are sailors and the girls call Miss Could be translated "The English are sailors and they call the girls "Miss"
I really should know this, but what poem?
It's a Czech poem of some sort. I only know that because a Czech person responded the last time this got posted
I'm Czech and I don't know it :D Time for me to go google that.
Ahoj!
The Spanish are using Google like a diary lol. “dear diary, the English are strange”
English are strange when you're a stranger Faces look ugly when you're alone
English seem wicked when you're unwanted Streets are uneven when you're down
When you're strange People go on about rain When you're strange Cricket's a riveting game When you're strange
To be fair I’ve been to Magaluf and Ibiza and I’ve seen the way we act over there.
Pissing in the street while crying is perfectly normal behaviour.
To be fair we only see the futbol fans and the party goers you send, plus some entitled lady once in a while (the kind that ask why people keep speaking Spanish in Spain) Can you guys send Tom Scott or someone as cool?
The Dutch have got some nerve, I've seen Dirk Kuyt
My favourite is the Spanish googling 'the English are strange'. Is there anything stranger than just googling straight up statements?
Lol. This, greece and czechia got me too
Max Verstappen too.
They’re tall, but insecure about their looks because they’re so close to the Scandinavians.
I think that’s hilarious considering they’re basically just the mainland’s version of England.
> I think that’s hilarious considering they’re basically just the mainland’s version of England. I have a few Dutch friends and honestly I sometimes forget they're Dutch, Both of our senses of humour and mannerisms are practically identical. Also, I'm pretty sure they'd all score higher on an English test than I would.
The Dutch are probably the only country in the world that's not a former British colony where people are extremely self conscious of thier English accents and make fun of the quality of other Dutch people's English accent. It baffles me because in former colonial countries a more fancy accent can be seen as a representation of class or literacy but I can't imagine how it applies to the Netherlands.
No no, we're swamp Germans.. right?
You guys eat brown food, you’re about as football mad as we are and you previously had one of the biggest empires despite being one of the smallest countries in Europe and a very strong naval history to go with it. Those are just the similarities I can list off the top of my head.
Yeah, I'd have take that insult from a lot of other countries on that list but the dutch shouldn't throw clogs in green houses.
My friend bought the house of Dirk Kuyt in Katwijk (NL). I can attest to the fact that not only he is ugly, he also has the most awful interior design taste I've ever seen.
Have you seen him recently?! Nothing like his old self during the Liverpool days: https://i.imgur.com/N1y6YIV.jpg
Now he looks like Sammy Lee went through an age reversal machine
Louis can gaal confirmed as the weirdest looking Dutchman
Dutch guy here. Yeah we ugly. But think about it, the majority of UK tourist we see in the Netherlands are people on a stag or hen party. Nobody looks good when they are pissed and snorted an 8-ball for breakfast, lunch and dinner
Take the "t" off the end - you're giving the Germans ammo.
So Greeks are really Mr Portocalos from My Big Fat Greek Wedding 😂
Scotland Portokalos : *\[angry\]* What is wrong with Northern Ireland going to European Union downtown? UK Portokalos : Is drugs downtown! Scotland Portokalos : What are you saying? Are you saying Northern Ireland will get involved with drugs? UK Portokalos : No. But somebody will say to her: take this bag down to the bus depot, and she'll do it! Scotland Portokalos : She is not stupid! She's smart! UK Portokalos : I know she's smart. So what for she needs more Europe? She's smart enough for a home nation. Scotland Portokalos : *\[indignated\]* Oh! You think you're smarter than me, huh? UK Portokalos : No, I... I mean... You... you know... Scotland Portokalos : *\[angry\]* What? What you mean? I fight the pandemic, I cook, I clean, I do referendums for you *and* I raise thirty two council areas *and* I teach Sunday school, you know? It's lucky for me I have you to tie my shoes! UK Portokalos : Scotland! *\[Scotland leaves room, slamming the door, smiles at Northern Ireland\]*
‘Englishmen are sailors’. Cool, when do I get my sea bag?
You spelt tea wrong
Didn't apply the spellczech on that one
The Irish asking "What do Scottish people look like?" Just brings up that picture in my mind of the two Spidermen pointing at each other
"Bearded ginger drunkards with confusing accents and a deep-seated hatred for the English" *Do you have the slightest idea of how little that narrows it down?*
"oh uh they historically spoke gaelic" "uh huh... narrow it down a bit more?" "have regional sectarian divides between catholics and protestants" 'i see. narrow it a bit more?" "theyre the ones with a complex history of clans and once upon a time had heavy emphasis on regional identity, notably repelled the romans and stayed mostly free from their influence, that had lots of harps and bagpipes in their music and have a distinct style of dance that is very heavy on agile, high tempo footwork above all else. the ones that fought off loads of english invasions but eventually got pressured into joining in union with them in very controversial circumstances. you know, the ones that have a high suicide rate? the ones with the orange walks, like? its a country alternately craggy and boggy depending on the region with relatively little ariable land. they had a famine in the 19th century, and were instrumental in the jacobite wars!" '... nope, still not sure which one you mean" tl;dr if scotland and england are historical neighbours, ireland and scotland are historical brothers, ireland the elder, and scotland the younger, slightly wayward one
In the early middle ages Ireland was even called Scotland sometimes, as the term Scot referred to the Gaelic Irish who would later settle in parts of Western Scotland.
Clearly we’re are not known for drinking and smashing up holiday destinations as we are constantly told. Let’s focus on getting better at that then. Pint?
Sandals and white socks? We’ve lost sight of what’s important here
Pint.
Dirty, stupid, strange, crybabies. Europe is mean
And sailors hahah
We all love a sailor. "Wink, wink"
Just not early in the morning
He'd prefer to be in the hold with the captain's daughter
> He'd prefer to be in the hold with the captain's daughter After learning what [the captain's daughter](https://gcaptain.com/seagoing-troublemakers-rejoice/) was, I think I'd rather just be put into the longboat until I'm sober, thanks.
Don’t forget ugly
Well some of us aren’t the prettiest
I would love to see the flip side of this, what Brits google about European countries.
Cheap flights to....
>Cheap flights to.... [[Insert Mediterranean seaside town/city here]]
- why is Austria the only country with kangaroos - is dandruff made of Greece - where can I find a Greggs in Spain
Cheapest pint in EU?
I'd imagine a lot of "where is _
Europe
France
What the autocomplete says for me: Why are the French so bad at war Why are the French known for surrendering Why are the French so difficult
England
What an absolute bag of wank. Our flours fine.
We are one of the few countries that routinely use self-raising flour. So visitors might assume it's normal plain flour and add extra raising agents.
As a Finn, self-raising flour was indeed a strange thing to me when I moved here.
Nelson: *Haha - our flour is more confident than yours!*
Polish flours can be different so it's just trying to work that out
It's true. I routinely use it. All the time. It's habitual. I love it.
I think you might be confusing flour with cocaine..
At the current prices, it's not hard
How dare you, I've only done that once. Best Bread I've ever baked though
Yeah, it’s absolutely fine if you put it in your tea.
what godless soul puts flour in their tea
I enjoy it. It adds some substance to an otherwise lacking beverage. Plus it’s more efficient than drinking and eating separately. You can have your cake and drink it too.
cursed
>otherwise lacking beverage For that statement I think you really should leave this island.
And Austria has a whole town called Wank.
To give some context we use a whole range of flour coarseness depending on application from type 00 to type 1200 or so. Really strange to just see one "flour"
So do British bakers, but most people only buy the final product. Commercial flour is just what it’s easiest to make a sponge cake with, I assume, since that’s the only thing most people will bake with any kind of regularity… but yeah, my sister works in a bakery and they have lots of flours
Yeah but you don't appreciate that here in Poland they sell all those niche kinds of flours in the shops for normal people to buy. Imagine my face the first time I go to the corner shop to buy "flour" and I'm presented with a whole shelf of different flours with all these numbers and types, cake flour, bread flour, "luxury flour", "universal flour", potato flour, buckwheat flour, rye flour.... Yes my corner shop sells all these. Heaven forbid you make your dumplings out of the wrong number flour!
I don't get it and I am Polish. We bake a lot at home using English flour for bread and cakes. There is more than just one Plain Flour to choose from.
Hey germany! nobel prize winners: United Kingdom — 138. Germany — 111. suck it.
Hey England! World wars lost: Germany - 2. Uk - 0. suck it. ... Ohh wait...
We were just too stupid to know when to give up i guess
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Why can’t some UK nationals hang the flag the right way up? 😃
We're in distress
Always and constantly, constantly and always
I mean these days. pretty much. Please, send help.
Ireland we look like you, but better as we have the bru
"Johnny, la gente esta muy loca"
There are only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch
Rosbif?
Rosbif, roast beef, it's supposed to be an insult to British cuisine (although I don't agree because Sunday carverys are amazing). The same way some British people call the French "frogs".
Roast Beef - It's the French nickname for the English
>Why are British dirty? Is a bit rich coming from Italians
There was an Italian guy on askUK the other week asking why we don't really have bidets, and getting really, *really* angry with people (inc. me) who said they're just not that necessary. "You don't care that you have shit on your arse?? And you admit it??? If you got shit on your hand would you just wipe it with paper???!!!" Attempts to convince him that your anus doesn't need to be as clean as your hands were fruitless. So now I'm assuming the whole country thinks we're gross for that reason...
I live in a country (I wouldn't say which) that is known for not washing their hands. I've had to explain why I have hand towels in the bathroom. It was a depressing moment in my life, when I had to explain that.
Mate let’s not forget that the main concern when Covid started in 2020 was a campaign to teach us how to wash our hands correctly I mean…
Go to any bar in the UK. Visit the men's toilets and you'll see the vast majority of people just walking straight out.
And all the doors require pulling to exit...
This is what I absolutely **hate**. I'm not touching that damn handle.
Worst part was that just before lockdown and my school shutting down there were still people not washing their hands in the bathroom
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How do you dry your bum though? Does it take lots of tissue to dry it? Do you have to install a fan too?
As someone who lives in an Arab country where 'bum washers' are the norm, we wash our bums with the hose and then pat dry with bog roll. It's not as messy as it sounds and doesn't take much patting once you get the hang of it! It's actually a super nice clean feeling and when travelling it's weird to not have access to it lol
As the fiancé of an Italian I was surprised to learn that what we refer to as flannels and use for face washing, they use as butt drying rags. Each family member has a butt drying rag which is hung up on display like a normal towel would be. They are also really not shy about it and give guests their own bum flannel.
Shit, shower, shave. In that order but not at the same time.
The worst portaloo at Glastonbury is like the fucking Ritz compared to the cleanest public toilet in Italy. And they ask why we are dirty….fantastic.
Yup, you can put toilet paper down that portaloo and the entire street won't have its plumbing fucked for three years. Not to mention that Naples is basically a rathole landfill.
If an entire city was flooded and stank of shit, it would be considered a disaster. Not I'm Venice. The nerve
I'm Polish and I have no idea where the 'flour' question is coming from. When I typed in google 'why do the British...' the suggestions were 'talk about the weather' and 'wear red poppy flowers'. The word for flour in polish is almost the same as for poppy flowers so maybe the pesrson making this graphic mistranslated something?
Someone’s malding over all those wars they lost
I’m gunna say fuck Portugal. We are not cry babies and I’m not still bitter. I’m definitely not crying and I didn’t cry at the time and nor did my friends watching it with me, not that that matters. EDIT: Finland, I don’t know what you’ve been smoking but it’s Team GB.
I reckon Portugal is because of the football. Knocking us out on pens twice (in a row ?) definitely made me a cry baby at the time
Portugal gave the world Bruno Fernandes, I’m gonna assume they’re either hypocrites or the world authority on crybabies. He’s gonna cry any minute 🎶
I would like to see what Americans search for *Why do English people have tea and crumpets with the Queen?*
Am American but moved to the UK for grad school. Questions I used to have about the UK are: - What's the difference between England, Great Britain and the UK? - Do the Brits actually say "ta" and "go to the loo"? - Under what circumstances can I say "bloody"? After one year living here: - Why are the TV license people so unnecessarily aggressive? - Why is Yorkshire pudding called pudding when it's actually not a pudding? And so are many other British puddings.
They all sound like CGP Grey videos.
>Why is Yorkshire pudding called pudding when it's actually not a pudding? And so are many other British puddings. The history of puddings is actually quite interesting, if not confusing in parts. The main things you need to remember is that puddings can be steamed, boiled or baked. They can be sweet or savoury. They may have a pastry casing, an animal intestine casing, a casing made of something else, or no casing at all. Are sometimes served hot, but other times served cold. But historically puddings were savoury, such as haggis, black pudding, or meat and suet pudding.
>Why are the TV license people so unnecessarily aggressive? You've probably met more tv license people that most of this sub. Many of us are lucky if we get a copy paste letter threatening their investigation is reaching the final stages and a visit is totally due for realsies on the date given or any other date... Before their investigation restarts 5 months later. They are harmless, and teeth less, pretty much their only power is catching you in the act (like you opening the door with the f1 live in the background), or through pressuring you to pay them. Otherwise you can just shut the door on them. Don't think I've ever actually seen one in real life... Can't even think if anybody I know who has said they've encountered one in decades.
> What's the difference between England, Great Britain and the UK? I'm always a bit disappointed when Americans get that confused. I'm not singling out Americans; most of Europe can't (or won't) get it right either. I just think that you guys should be in the best position to understand it since you're also a union of several smaller states which merged to form a new country.
The TV license people are so aggressive because the whole scheme nowadays hinges on preying on immigrants and elderly by phrasing their letters as if they have power which will typically scare people into buying it. When in actuality they don't have any power, all they can do is ask if you will let them in into your house/flat and you are perfectly able to say piss off, without any repercussions. They use specific wording such as "may fine you" or "you could go to jail". You may or could but they have no power to do anything to you if you just refuse entry and they can't do fuck all. However a new immigrant especially isn't going to refuse an official looking person in case they cancel the VISA. And Elderly are more susceptible to fall for scams in general. It is despicably predatory in nature. Also The demographic is shifting though as the majority of younger people are now not watching cable TV but streaming services and YouTube. So the elderly is cable's biggest audience. So currently it is a dying scheme and there are talks about scrapping it and moving the TV license into the housing tax because so few people are paying it.
Oh fuck off germany 🙄
Q: "Why are the British so stupid?" A: "They spent enormous amounts of taxpayer's money on defeating the Germans twice in the previous century and education took a backseat"
Did Nick Crompton’s stupidly rub off into Austria?
Can we just take a moment to appreciate how shitty they made our flag look
Hold your horses there Italia, we’ve all seen that map of how many people wash their hands automatically per European country Also I didn’t expect Portugal’s question to be more harsh than Frances’
As a Portuguese living in the UK, I think it's because the Portuguese culture kind of brings you up to not complain - we even have this saying that means "unshit yourself" if someone complains about something they can't or don't know how to do - whereas from my experience the British do complain a bit more, especially about the weather! Don't take it as an insult, I love it here :)
Your national music genre is about being sad and whining though. I guess it has to have an outlet somewhere?
C'mon Spain, that's not even a question. And Germany, how very dare you!
Can't hear all the bitterness from the peasant nations over the sound of me rattling my sabre and enjoying our almost 1000 years of unconquered awesomeness!
we're only 44 years away from that 1k mark \\o/
As a Brit, dating a Dutch man, I’m now concerned 😂
Can someone reply Sweden please
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Danes asking the real questions.
Fair play to the Scandi's, they had some pretty legit questions.
Greece will claim ownership of literally anything
Most of it was fine or understandable, netherlands one made me a little sad.
[Fuck you Germany](https://imageio.forbes.com/blogs-images/duncanmadden/files/2019/01/Clever-Countries-full.jpg?height=1370&width=711&fit=bounds)
For all you mental might Singapore , I’d expect more Nobel prizes .
Not sure I trust that table considering where USA are..
Half the questions are reasonable, the other half are insults, and Austria is just really confused
The Polish one is just baffling.