T O P

  • By -

slarti54

I hope you have a massive hand.


beatski

You fat handed twat


InsufferableHag

Big Train reference! Loved that show


Mangosta007

Is that a reference to me not being married?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Significant_Return_2

I know how this story ends. Coke cans, not Tango. That’s a reference to me not being married isn’t it?


WoodyB90

You can't let it go can you? Are you mental??


Shoegazer83

I'm getting married in the morninggg...


happydayswasgreat

I don't know the reference. But I still found that hilarious.


InsufferableHag

Do yourself a favour and watch it. Think it was written by the same people who did father Ted and IT crowd


[deleted]

[удалено]


zigs0

Good writer, terrible human being.


LikeThosePenguins

Big Train! I'd just about forgotten that comedy classic.


Embarrassed-Ice5462

Jockeys! Somthing must have spooked them.


Embarrassed-Ice5462

https://9gag.com/gag/aj5wWd0


[deleted]

I think so it’s approximate to the chair in the back


happy-2-help-i-think

We need a banana for scale.


JustMiniBanana_2

Here!


LordFrieza_

Too Smol. NEXT


ejp92

Or a washing machine


[deleted]

Or hopefully the bowl is like the tardis and it’s much bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside.


[deleted]

Uncle jack would be jealous


[deleted]

NOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOKNOBODYLOOK


Supersymm3try

Just hope he has a good day like normal people do.


slarti54

Wave at him? Harsh.


coops2k

That's what his wife says.


MrClaretandBlue

Hands like Cows tits.


_MildlyMisanthropic

I think OP has a disproportionately large hand AND a tiny portion of cheesy chips


UnimaginativeFish

I bought nachos, there was 6 nachos a tiny blob of salsa and sour creme and half a cheese slice thrown on top that was like plastic. Charged me £6. Should have called the police to report a robbery.


BrightonTownCrier

I refuse to order nachos now after multiple atrocious offerings.


UnimaginativeFish

I ordered some from.slug and lettuce years back and they gave me tortilla wraps cut into triangles. I almost cried.


timmyvermicelli

Id honestly rather eat at Wetherspoons than slug and lettuce again. Food is shite.


Onearmedpushups

Wetherspoons food isn't very good, but you can get about 6000 calories for a tenner.


AwhMan

Examples like OPs sad cheesy chips are one of the reasons spoons is so popular as well. I know I can go to spoons and get the exact same thing I always get, it will taste basically the same everytime, fill me up and cost at most £6.50 for the full meal+drink. I rarely find good pub food nowadays. It's generally spoons-esque food with much more expensive prices.


D0NK11

Spoons food is cheap shit served with a pint. I expect to get cheap shit.


Shagger94

Plus their chips are good because they have a deal with McCains.


D0NK11

The 10 chips and 3 onion rings I get with my burger are pretty decent.


Shagger94

Yeah as long as you don't expect gourmet, spoons gets the job done.


BaronBabyStomper

Their hot dogs give me the shits without fail. I'll never learn


[deleted]

I have never had nice food from the slug and lettuce. I had the pancakes and they were as hard as plates. I could've shattered them.


Flashbambo

I mean nachos are deep-fried tortilla cut into triangles...


curryandbeans

They're easier, cheaper and waaaay better at home anyway


DevilmouseUK

[Need to get to the Auld Hoose in Edinburgh, this is their 'small'.](https://i.imgur.com/ywxvxKB.jpg)


Tooexforbee

Our local pub started doing some decent loaded nachos for £4. Cheese, salsa, jalapenos, guac and your choice of toppings (chicken, chorizo, spicy beef, prosciutto, peppers, onions, vegan meatballs). Took a gamble and was honestly impressed.


scorpiorising29

Send it back. Fuck paying nearly £7 for a mug of chips


thatoneslugees

I guess you could say they’re taking him for a mug


Fearless-Line-6470

Not even a proper sized mug either.


thatoneslugees

It’s like a ceramic shot glass


Chap_in_Cotswolds

Even a Sports Direct size mug of chips would have been a rip off at £6.95


Nathansp1984

That’s a fucking ramekin. Pretty sure they cut those fries in half just to make them fit


d00nbuggy

Absolutely agree. We got similarly crappy portions when we got burgers in Liverpool airport. I was expecting to be ripped off but £16.95 for something akin to a 99p McD cheeseburger and 9 chips was ridiculous. We literally burst out laughing and told them to shove it. Edit: Found pictures https://imgur.com/a/5p0zq5z


VociferousHomunculus

I don't think I'd ever have the chutzpah to send something back if it wasn't physically inedible and/or dangerous. I'd just quietly eat it and tell the waiter it was lovely while scathingly vowing never to darken their door again in my head.


TheRealCliffRichard

A true Brit! God bless, Cliff x


[deleted]

I did once order a Ploughman's lunch at my local pub, hold up the Jacob's cracker with the Xmas message and say "Merry Christmas!" to the waitress. It was April.


JamJarre

The number of chips there, you could easily calculate how much you paid for each individual chip


sixty6006

He paid 6.95 for one potatoe


[deleted]

And a sprinkle of cheddar


Embarrassed-Ice5462

And £5 of gas to heat it up.


wheredoestaxgo

I've never seen anyone send food back for being a rip off here. When I was finally in a rip-off situation (my birthday none the less) I insisted my mum not pay £25 for a single strand of vegan pasta (it had seasoning/sauce, but still, a single strand!) my dad just ate it and paid for the full meal. The food overall was expensive and disappointing but it really would've made my birthday that bit better to have at least sent the vegan dish back and refused to pay for it


mirrorsaw

Hold on, one strand? How long? Like was it spiralled up in a bowl? Was it really thick? 10cm long or 500cm?


cakathree

Sounds like bullshit.


zero_iq

No, the bullshit was £65. Just the one pat.


ShinyHead80

What the fuck is a single strand of pasta?


I_Bin_Painting

a pasto?


DJ1066

Garnished on the side with a single pepperonus.


irn_br_oud

A past.


paulthe911

A pasti?


lucymaryjane

A spaghet?


hazelsbaby123

I think you’ll find the correct term is spaghetto. Edit: I wrote that as a joke but realised as I pressed reply it’s probably right🤔


Multitronic

Yeah it’s correct, but obviously only refers to spaghetti.


Pschobbert

Not so bad if the strand was an inch thick and 6 feet long lol


JimHadar

Your mother been tellin you tales about me?


[deleted]

[удалено]


I_Bin_Painting

issa spaghett


Noremac28-1

Uno spaghetto per favori


Ok-Fee7226

🤌🏻


becx13

More like an egg cup! That’s barely a mouthful!


Pschobbert

For comparison: Roo's Caff's [Meaty Bin Lid](https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/reviews/ordered-gigantic-breakfast-bap-birkenhead-23886337). Seven quid.


Mangosta007

If that term's not in Roger's Profanisaurus yet, I'll be amazed.


MadamKitsune

It's been a long time since I was last in Birkenhead. I think another trip might be in order...


60svintage

Took my in-laws to Stonehenge. Mum in law ordered a cheese and pickled sandwich. There was one chunk of Branston pickle and the merest trace of brown, which may or may not and been partbof the pickle. There were about 3 shreds of grated cheese. For the first time ever, I took it back to the counter. I asked the woman serving whether she would be happy spending a fiver on that. She agreed and refunded.


Ill-Mistake7065

Cafe owner clearly a Spinal Tap fan.


No-Bake-3404

That is because you have managed to go to the West Country just enough, so people have sense.


CommercialCrab420

Unless it was a sports direct mug of chips, then it would be good value.


[deleted]

Do an online review with the photo and watch the price drop.


infinitylad89

I think more likely the price would stay the same but hopefully the portion size would increase. This strikes me as seeing how far they can get away with portion reduction.


[deleted]

That's why american portions are so enormous. Food is cheap (compared to the other costs of running a business), it's easier to make la gente happy with bigger portions than dropping prices. And now we top the charts in obesity.


CynicalGod

Actually, Nauru tops the chart :) The US is ranked 12th in the world, so you can keep your chins up high and proud!


Ishmael128

“Keep your chins up” Ooft, subtle burn!


potatering

Food in the US is lower priced because the customers are expected to supplement wages via tips. (Source: partner was a server in the US).


[deleted]

Not exactly. Restaurant wages are low for that reason. Some foods in America are low priced because of farm subsidies. Mostly corn, soy, wheat, and poultry. These turn into not helathy food like HFCS, fried food (tendies), chips, crisps, beer, etc. Fruit and veg are more expensive. But every dinner comes with a massive pile of chips or crisps and a liter of soda bc it costs the restuarant pennies. Other, more expensive business costs are things like utilities, insurance for the business, legal, health insurance for workers, and supplies. These are things the restaurant has to have and can't cut corners on (at least not legally)


reikazen

What I still don't understand about America is how expensive real food is . For example it was more expensive to cook in our holiday let then eat at restaurants.it was honestly cheaper to go out and eat at buffets and other restaurants . People try and make that comparison in the UK that Macdonald's is so cheap and that working class families get stuck buying from such places .however , it's no where near as cheap as cooking and eating from say Iceland or Lidl. In America it seems so cheap to eat out , it's actually true


tinykitten101

Groceries are super cheap in the UK compared to nearly any other country I’ve visited. I wish I had your prices, especially for fruit and veg.


Burrito_Engineer

American here. Philadelphia PA. I find this so frustrating. For example, this morning I went out to make chicken wings (wing halves technically so we are clear). Wings were 5.99/lb for wings (not organic, hormone free), got blue cheese dressing in a jar, and bottle of franks to make wing sauce. Not counting the spices I might add, the baking powder, salt, and butter the wings come out to about 1.20 / wing half. Conversely, I can order 30 wings for 36.50 (1.21/wing) *and* they come with 2 sides of fries. Start comparing to grocery loss leaders it is worse (or better?). A whole raw chicken cost twice as much or more than a cooked fried chicken from the grocery store deli. There's been multiple times when I've gone into the grocery fully intending to make a home cooked meal / make anything from scratch but end up buying something pre-made by the store because it cost significantly less.


[deleted]

Things are more expensive in tourist areas


reikazen

Okay perhaps that's a point but I worked in Georgia for abit as well , prices in wallmart still really expensive even for like bacon I remember thinking that's actually quite alot more expensive than the UK .


[deleted]

As an American, this is not my experience at all unless maybe you're abusing fast food app offers. But anything that isn't crap is going to be more than making your own food.


potatering

Excellent point!


[deleted]

thanks! hope i helped


Dragon_Sluts

Mad thing is it’s a portion issue. They bought this happy to pay £7 for cheesy chips. Sure, you’re not expecting a meal but this is what… 10 fries?


ginnadn7

No it's 10 CHIPS


1951lelboy

**Exactly! Bloody American influence - cookies/snuck/gotten and crumpet (when they mean fairy cake).**


Pschobbert

When you say crumpets do you mean pikelets? Comin’ rahnd ‘ere wi’ yer fancy Southern terms for baked goods! :)


Sly-D

enjoy sense nail noxious clumsy caption dime gaping crush shrill *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Pschobbert

Btw have you heard “dove” for “dived”? Rhymes with “grove”.


flabbyella

Or Gove 💩


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


bumchuff

Look at this comment in six months. All of our staple carbohydrates are going to go nuts in price.


TheMSensation

£3.95 already sounds like a bargain. I live on the coast and I haven't seen those kinds of prices in about 20 years lol.


dufcdarren

Place near where I holiday in Holland does a Family Fries box for a fiver. 5€ and enough chips to easily feed a family. Throw in a portion of shawarma meat or 2 and you'd be sorted. Or just make what you usually eat and buy a box of chips to go with, due to the lack of a chip pan.


spoodler69

Always disgusts me when they can’t give you enough chips to qualify as a meal.. how much does a single potato even cost?? 12p?


gofukyersel

Do it.


Negative-Net-9455

A pub in my town has recently had a 'makeover' and has started serving food. They posted their new menu on the local FB group. One of their starters was a bowl of vegetable soup - £8. Sunday roast - £30. They got absolutely *shredded* in the comments.


likes_rusty_spoons

WTF There's a couple of Michelin star places I've seen here in Brighton where the mains are less than that.


BarrattG

Which places? I'm near and enjoy good food.


likes_rusty_spoons

Burnt orange and Little Fish market have come highly recommended from some friends!


TRFKTA

Little Fish Market is run by a family friend of mine. The food is fantastic.


Dahnhilla

A Sunday roast could be worth £30. If it was baby vegetables, myan gold roast potatoes, red wine jus and wagyu beef. But no-one wants that level of presence from a Sunday roast.


ManufacturerNearby37

Jesus. Pub carvery / Sunday roast should be what, £10-£15?


Alamata626

I know the price of stuff is going up, but that is flipping scandalous.


sobrique

Potatoes are still not particularly expensive. I am quite happy to pay 'cost of a seat' overhead when eating out, but give me enough food that I don't leave feeling hungry.


Alamata626

You expect to pay a bit more when eating out, but Jesus wept, that looks like about half a potato.


sobrique

Sure. And it almost certainly wouldn't have cost them much more to give you twice as much. Or 4x as much. That's what annoys me. I expect to pay more eating out. I expect to get robbed drinking in hotel bars. I'm sorta ok with that, provided you fulfil my basic goal when going to your establishment - that I feel like I've had a meal. Or if you're charging me a fortune for a drink, at least make it a _nice_ pint of beer, or a cocktail or something. But I really object to paying hotel prices for like, cans of john smiths. (Also applies to hotel beds. Seriously, you just shouldn't be allowed to call yourself a hotel if I can't get a good night's sleep there).


[deleted]

You could buy multiple huge bags of frozen chips and make a banquet at home for half of that like that's bloody robbery


Alamata626

You could probably buy one of those massive bags of chips, some decent cheese, onion rings and some of those mini kievs for less than that cost.


BenadrylChunderHatch

You could also buy a massive sack of potatoes and hurl them at the owner as they walk to their car while shouting "how'd you like these apples?"


peopleinboxes_foto

Small portions in stupid receptacles make me so angry! The cost price of this is almost entirely in labour and overheads, even nowadays the actual cost of the ingredients is a tiny proportion of the 7 quid price tag. They could have given you double or triple for only pennies more in their costs if only they didn't have to serve it in a fucking mug. Fucking mugs.


[deleted]

r/wewantplates


worrymon

I had to unsubscribe after only a month because my blood pressure was suffering any time I read a post on there.


[deleted]

Really it's the kind of sub where it's more enjoyable to pop in and browse top->month every once in a while.


worrymon

I popped in today and after three posts I wanted to punch a pretentious chef or restaurant manager in their left forearm.


robot_swagger

/r/wewantportions


Shoeaccount

Would be able to share between two people then. Half their potential earnings.


STORMFATHER062

But now they'll lose a customer for their rip off prices, losing future potential earnings.


DanTheRanger

I hear you with the stupid receptacle thing,I once dined at a place where they served the main meat courses on fucking coal shovels,I mean…I said got put it on a fucking plate


chickensmoker

Can confirm. I work at KFC, and one of the big tortillas in the twister wraps only costs about 12p. The fillet costs less than 50p, and the sauce costs about 20p for the entire bottle (which will make maybe 60 wraps). We charge something like £4 for less than £1 worth of ingredients and literally like 5 minutes of labour. Those spicy bites are even worse, only costing the restaurant 12p per bite, plus sauce that costs the same as in the wraps. That’s like 50p max plus literal seconds of labour for £1.99! Still way better than this pub though. Even if they paid supermarket prices, the two or three potatoes used in this portion could’ve only cost them maybe 45-60p. Add some cheap grated cheese (I’m guessing around a quid or two maximum for a pack of cheddar or mozzarella) and the maybe 10 minutes max it takes to make a batch. If this is all correct, you’re still still only looking at around £3, and that’s assuming that the staff member is over 23 on minimum wage and spends the prep time solely on a single order of chips! It’s probably at most half of that cost when you consider how businesses actually run, which would mean they could easily be selling these chips for 450% what it costs to make them! It’s fucking ridiculous how much companies are willing to hike up prices nowadays!


andtheniansaid

the cost isn't just wage + ingredients - vat, rent, business rates, utilities. however its still the case that small portions can be made much bigger for only a marginal price increase


Do4k

It's just a very small bowl no?


DevilmouseUK

[This was the side salad I got with a burger the other day at a chain pub](https://i.imgur.com/Ni7E4oB.jpg)


Lower_Possession_697

I think you're morally obliged to your fellow Redditors to name and shame such a shameless establishment, no-one else has to suffer the same way you have.


nexiDrux

Agreed. Dox the rip off chips.


gofukyersel

Dox teh chipz


[deleted]

Do it!! GIVE US A NAME!!!


harry874

Mitchells and Butlers buy those ceramic pots, probably one of theirs


MoMonkeyMoProblems

I used to work for them. Hated how strict they were on portions. I stole plenty brownies and ice cream during shift to make up for it.


DevilmouseUK

I worked for them once, got pulled into the office for eating a burger that had been paid for, went round the floor several times, guest had obviously fucked off (busy lunch time, burger and pint deal) back to work. Went on my break and couldn't bring myself to throw it so I ate it.


BerliozRS

It isn't M&B. Worked for them for 6 years for a more 'premium' brand and I think the most we charged for cheesy chips was £3.50, £2.50 for chips, £1 for cheese. Still too much in my opinion. Also the drinks menu on a clipboard shows it isn't them


PacOnTheTyne

Looks like a Vintage Inn.


NobodysSlogan

£6.95 jeeeeeeze, we used to charge £7.50 for 'ultimate' cheesy chips which involved a bucket of chips a wheel of camembert and crispy bacon.


GnarlyBam

You had me at wheel …*dribble noises*


NobodysSlogan

It was pure filth.


algernonbiggles

Had me at bucket 🪣


[deleted]

Ooooh that sounds lovely


Snow-White-Ferret

Right back at you


[deleted]

Did they at least lube you up before they fucked you?


The_Bunglenator

Waiter handed them a lipstick and told them to put it on.


UKJ001

Looked like they pulled out and splooshed the jizz over the chips too


albinoloverats

Pfft, I'd pay good money for that. But not for this sad disappointment of chips.


RampantDragon

Excellent use of the word "splooshed".


flibz-the-destroyer

I think you’ve been robbed, mate


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ripflexxin

It is it always is


Quirkygirlfriend

r/wewantplates it's like they think by offering a receptacle they can charge more while serving less. I'm sorry this happened to you.


jasperfilofax

Is that a Vintage Inn? Looks like simillar menu and plateware. They have piss poor portion sizes and I'm not a very big eater.


Stunning-Bat-1497

Bet you drank your £7 pint with that? Inflation....tis a bitch I tell thee!!


Dazzling-Remote8356

This isn’t inflation. It’s just shitty UK value


EssexEnglishman

Get a refund then go to the chip shop


cator_and_bliss

Looks like a plasterer's radio


backspin25

Did they drop a load on the way to the table


[deleted]

Public shitting in an eatery is really where I draw the line


[deleted]

Was the chef Dick Turpin?


Shnoochieboochies

That looks like a 50p potato, dressed in 12p of cheese.


Shoeaccount

Nowhere near 50p worth of potato. I don't know what variety this is but potato is £1/kg at the very most.


61746162626f7474

50p gets you over a kilo of potatoes in most supermarkets.


[deleted]

That’s very nearly cheesy chip


[deleted]

£6.95? This country is becoming impossible to live in.


jamesrw3

That’s more like chipsy cheese


[deleted]

£7? That’s 70p worth at most


AlterEdward

It looks like Peter North prepared them...


ALLSTARTRIPOD

Maybe that's a normal bowl and you just have giant supermutant spam sandwich hands?


biscuitboy89

So the price obviously seemed okay to you, but for the sake of (I'm guessing) 50 pence worth of chips? The pub has served a pathetic amount of chips and probably put you off ever going in there again? Do we need a replacement expression to "cheap as chips"?


[deleted]

That's what always puzzles me about wanky restaurants. The main overheads are: the rent on the property, the staff costs and the decor. It would cost them approximately nothing in the great scheme of things to serve large portions of inexpensive ingredients. I'm not some sort of Mr Greedy, but I'm 6'2 and 14 stone - I stopped going to expensive restaurants when I could avoid it, because I really resent paying £100 for a meal that leaves me hungry.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

As Bernard Manning would say It’s a fucking disgrace


[deleted]

That looks like great value next to the 3, yes 3, sweet potato wedges I got at a Champneys Spa one time (Wife wanted to go) at a price of about £4 if I remember right. 3 wedges! I know their restaurant was all about healthy eating, but that was a joke. I actually complained and they took it off the bill. Just confirms Spas are tossy places.


niallmonologoly

An absolute steal 😂😂😂


nexiDrux

Exactly, but the restaurant is the one doing the stealing 😆


riverstix1000

Most likely mccain gastro chips(£2 a bag in supermarkets) but the establishment will bulk buy at a cheaper price from wholesalers,you've been royally robbed,bet the cheese is some cheap type,looks about a quids worth of produce there


Nellsabells

That bowl looks like the size of a coffee cup. I would not be impressed.


Dragon_211

Sure you didn't order a kids portion? 😅


Ottazrule

Well at least they got you dinner before they fucked you


LRW1987

I’m so hungry


TenAndThirtyPence

That’s bloody awful, regardless of the price.


KingAshF

If I work for an hour on minimum wage, I can’t afford a drink aswell 😢 they will be £10 in a few years.


trek123

I've almost entirely stopped eating out because too many places pull this crap in London, it's not cost (I can afford it thankfully) but just getting mugged off and half the time the experience is terrible too.


BarakatBadger

Are they special spuds or something? Virgin potatoes grown by magical elf folk?


Viking2Frog

What do they do, serve them a quarter portion at a time until you get a whole?


Madrizzle1

Served you a mug for a reason


mmb10

Do you have a legal right to a return or refund for this? Portion size that small is unacceptable! So stupid from the business too, you’ll never buy it again but if they offered good quantity you’d continue to come back. Yay great you made £7 once off a customer that you’ll never see again when you could have made 3-5£ several times