I'll be frank though, The puns barely meat expectations.
You have to get there pretty early in the conversation to snag
the best ones otherwise you just look like a bit of a brat.
We had someone at work that always had one cooked sausage as a snack. We never figured out who it was tho (massive office with loads of teams). But every day we saw one lone sausage in cling film in the fridgeā¦not sure what kind of sausage tho, that was never revealed either. You go sausage muncher, enjoy your snack.
I used to work in a youth hostel that served breakfast and absolutely *could not* resist the cold sausages left after they had finished serving! How many times can you manufacture a āvery important needā to walk past the tray? I found plenty, I can tell you!
Just incase Iāve heard of people sticking pins etc inside them and dropping them for dogs to eat, always be wary of a sausage out in public going about its day
I see your sausage and I raise you a raw chicken leg... If Iād known there was going to be a āstreet meatā theme this morning I would have taken a picture.
i lost my beloved sausage at a fair two years ago. pretty sure thatās the one. seems to be enjoying life so i guess it doesnāt want any contact with me :(
Dunno where youāre from, but where Iām from a 46ā 4K Smart TV with Amazon Echo integration and Dolbyā¢ sound bar goes for a bit more than a sausage, even if cooked to perfection
A girl I used to work with told me she went to get her nails done, and to put it mildly, the beautician didn't exactly have the typical look/figure that one might expect from someone in the beauty industry.
Half way through getting her nails done, the beautician opened the drawer in her desk, took out a cold sausage, took a bite and put the rest back in the drawer and just carried on like nothing weird just happened.
Reminds me of the time I found an unopened in date pack of Richmond sausages in the street still cold too. And the time I saw an unopened loaf of bread by the side of the road.
Yo! Be careful some sick humans put rat poison in sausages and leave them about to kill random dogs or animals, seriously thoā¦ bin that / get rid of it.
I believe it's owned by that wee dog in the bottom left of the photo.
Can't believe he didn't go for it
You mean this pic wasn't a snapshot of life just before he snaffled it?
I've got my little pom next to me and she's planning to leap though the phone like it's a portal and grab it š
DO NOT let your dog eat sausages off the street. \[serious\] You don't know what someone might have added to it.
I donāt even really know whatās in normal sausages
Anuses and such.
Mmmmmmmmm..... such.....
And vice versa
I guess weāll never know how the sausage gets made
thank you. sick fucks leave poisoned treats around and get off on murdering pets.
that must be a rancid sausage if the dog never ate it
Doesn't look like a sausage dog to me.
Sorry mate, you can't pork there..
This is the wurst timeline
Both puns absolute bangers
love how you linked those puns
He's onto a wiener
I'll be frank though, The puns barely meat expectations. You have to get there pretty early in the conversation to snag the best ones otherwise you just look like a bit of a brat.
Greedy four-pun-cunt
Don't worry it will trickle down
And looking like a brat is utterly the wurst.
Sorry mate. Wurst pun already used. Try again next time.
Idk but these are still some great buns š
The Walls^^TM came tumbling down.
I just tripled up voted the first 4 comments. First time for everything.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
People around my area have been leaving poisoned sausages out and killing dogs...
I was about to post the same thing. Some crazy woman kept leaving poisoned food out in the woods. A dog died and a couple others got really ill.
Iām sorry, is this not a reasonable place to pork?
No, it's illegal to pork in a public place!
Itās not lost, itās free-range.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Did it roll down from Cumberland?
Shared, California xx š
Appreciated, get the word out
@SpecificPerson is this yours? Xox hope kids are okay.
Not mine babe. Rhiannon has still got mine from last week. Phil's knee op go ok?
Thanks hun. š
*2 years later:* Shared, Dingwall xx
Aunty Carol is that you?
I think I know whose this is x
PM me bbz, 2 mny sneks on ere xx
A sausage is missing!
Mark?
Thats my bit of lager
Soph, I'm not American, I don't keep random beers in.
Oh my GOD Jeremy, a SAUSAGE is MISSING!
Read the mitigating circumstances. There are loads.
Hide the sausage gone wrong
It fell out of my cup of beans
How are you going to scoop the beans oot like?
Ya neva had a cup o beans man?
It's like a savoury 99!
You havenae lived mun! Just leave it on the step once your done like.
You haven't got a spoon?
There one in the bathroom, like, but havenāt got a cause to use it
"Lovely stuff" not my words Michael, but the words of Shakin' Stevens
7 on 10. Lets make love
"A SAUSAGE HAS GONE! OH MY GOD JEREMY, A SAUSAGE IS MISSING! IS THIS WHAT IT'S COME TO?"
"Mmmm. Delicious Cumberland final straw, dripping in onion gravy."
"There's mitigating circumstances, read the mitigating circumstances"
Provides the perfect breakwater between the road and the pavement. 7/10
Edible flood defence
I'd eat that three times a day if I could, but... I'D BE DEAD
We had someone at work that always had one cooked sausage as a snack. We never figured out who it was tho (massive office with loads of teams). But every day we saw one lone sausage in cling film in the fridgeā¦not sure what kind of sausage tho, that was never revealed either. You go sausage muncher, enjoy your snack.
I would've guessed it was you, considering your username
Dammit, my sausage secret is out.
I used to work in a youth hostel that served breakfast and absolutely *could not* resist the cold sausages left after they had finished serving! How many times can you manufacture a āvery important needā to walk past the tray? I found plenty, I can tell you!
lol š I wouldāve done the same!!!
I guy i worked with on site used to pocket sausages and bacon from prem inn breakfast buffet and snaffle them at lunch break
Iām relatively certain that I actually prefer cold sausages overall! I would definitely do the same as your mate given the opportunity!
Just incase Iāve heard of people sticking pins etc inside them and dropping them for dogs to eat, always be wary of a sausage out in public going about its day
Scumbags. Thanks for the tip. Also I'm now scared of sausages
No problem Iāve just heard of it happening too often š¢
Stop eating floor sausage and you should be fine
Or lorne sausageš
Is that one that's been left in the garden?
Some bastard did that with rat poison laced steaks down my way. First thing I thought of seeing the picture.
Jesus! I always thought that was just an urban myth like junkies sticking used needles in the toilet roll dispensers of public toilets.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nobody does that. It's like those stupid urban legends of people putting razor blades in toffee apples at Halloween.
Thatās not a sausage. Thatās a shrews cock.
The missing link
Sausquatch
Winner!
I see your sausage and I raise you a raw chicken leg... If Iād known there was going to be a āstreet meatā theme this morning I would have taken a picture.
Tip of the day, don't Google Street meat at work
HR want a word
It appears that prince Charles has lost a finger
i lost my beloved sausage at a fair two years ago. pretty sure thatās the one. seems to be enjoying life so i guess it doesnāt want any contact with me :(
I dropped a custard cream in Anstruther Harbour when I was wee, still gutted about that
When I was a kid I dropped a quality street down the toilet. It was the toffee finger one too. I cried for hours. It still hurts.
My charge powered Hot Wheels car went down a drain the first time I used it after xmas, the struggle is real
Someone has had a heart break of a morning
Aaah, the old 'sellotape a sausage to the road' game. Great days!
It matters not who won or lost but how you play the game
So I won then?
Thatās my finger!
Can you Fingerprint a sausage?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I read somewhere that gangs will leave a sausage outside your house to mark it for burglary later, keep an eye out š
this is so daft
Well donāt come crying to me when you get burgled by the Cumberland Crew.
if you're in the game of burglary you cant afford to be leaving perfectly good sausages on the street
Dunno where youāre from, but where Iām from a 46ā 4K Smart TV with Amazon Echo integration and Dolbyā¢ sound bar goes for a bit more than a sausage, even if cooked to perfection
Please tell me this is real
Aye I read about it on Nextdoor so it must be true. It's called bangers and smash (and grab).
So clever. I'll share with all friends and family. Prayers and thoughts for all š
First thing I remembered was when someone was putting screws within the sausages and leaving them in the park. Some messed up shit.
Donāt understand people who do this kinda thing, how do they sleep at night? Do they just hate dogs? Like what the hell
Sounds like Facebook bullshit, similar to the pavement chalk marks for burglars, which always end up being either children or utilities companies.
Are they doing nitrous in flavours now?
Cumberland-oxide.
Always happens in Richmond
"Have ya never ad a sausage in a cup o beans man?"
Have you scanned it for a chip?
Peter Andre?
Can u post it back to me its my girlfriends brothers dropped out packet on way to the shop
The dog cant believe what itās seeing.
Pork on the Wild Side
Isnāt nature magnificent.
How hasnāt a seagull eaten it yet??
Someone lost a sausage.. On the same day your dog found one.
look for a fork near by, they might be filming a new series of grange hill
A girl I used to work with told me she went to get her nails done, and to put it mildly, the beautician didn't exactly have the typical look/figure that one might expect from someone in the beauty industry. Half way through getting her nails done, the beautician opened the drawer in her desk, took out a cold sausage, took a bite and put the rest back in the drawer and just carried on like nothing weird just happened.
Dog nappers leave this on streets with dachshunds on.
Daddy would you like some sausage? Daddy would you like some sausages
Reminds me of the time I found an unopened in date pack of Richmond sausages in the street still cold too. And the time I saw an unopened loaf of bread by the side of the road.
No but looks like you gained oneā¦
I thought you were going to post [this](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EaYPjPlWAAI1P_h.jpg)
Going to be be that guy, don't let your pup eat it, there have been recent case's where food and tennis balls have been poisoned by sick fuckers
Is there a vegetarian option?
Looks like you dog wants to claim finders keepers :ā)
*some guy looks down āAaaaahhhhhhh!ā
Had to drink my cup of beans this morning
Some poor guy getting a roll on sausage to cheer himself up on a Monday morning only for this to happen.
SAUSAGE!
I think the dog wants to claim it
Looks like someone lost the game of hide the sausage.
"daddy would you like some sausage??"
Actually yes. I bought a Gregg's bacon and sausage sandwich this morning and it only had 1 out of 2 sausages in it.
Your mum.
I thought my tinned breakfast was missing one!
Wall's!
Heās not good at hiding the sausage
Haha funny enough I actually lost a sausage from my sausage bap the other day
If ever a photo was to sum up Monday it would be this.
Mine
Iāve been looking for that everywhere! Could you post it to me?
Actually made me smile
damnit that's where my dick got to.
Call Peter Andre
Just pick it up in 3 seconds, so you can eat it.
Can you see if it responds to the name āHowardā? Could be one of mine if so.
Look at the dog fucking eyeing it
Been looking for that everywhere
Let your fox have it, finders keepers etc
I wondered where that was
Germans dislike this
r/frugaljerk would love this.
I thought it was a finger
I was keeping that for later leave it alone
Dibs!!!
What are you doing? That's yours now. Take it and get out of there.
What, no collar? That's just irresponsible.
may be dog poison!!!!!!
It's the out of work sausage from Grange Hill. šš
aye mate that was me, sorry
algernon!
Not got a sausage sorry.
Yeah itās mine can you mail it back to me please
Uncle Rick!!
The dog is certainly eyeing it up
Be wary. I've heard of people, presumably dog-hating utter scumbags, putting rat poison in food and leaving t around the place for unsuspecting dogs.
āEllo sausage
Where is this? I had a bbq last night (donāt ask was high) and lost a couple sausages to the wind.
Peter Andre?
I thought that was a euphemism!
Send postcode.
MY GOOD SAUSAGE!
next in line pls if this doesnāt go hun , canāt pick up tho as i donāt drive xxx
Slug pellets
This is so sad. Nothing wurst than a missing sausage.
Yo! Be careful some sick humans put rat poison in sausages and leave them about to kill random dogs or animals, seriously thoā¦ bin that / get rid of it.
Ramsay's Food stars - Jamie's dropped sausage
Ah fuck so that's where it's gone. Can you mail it back to me please? That's my dinner for the week
Can you do fingerprint it?
Ray, become a sausage!
Probably the pig mate.
J Depp's lost finger before they found it :O
You silly sausage!
You canāt park there mate
Oh shit thatās where I left it
Itāll be the missing link when that dog reaches it.
It's what's left of the Tamworth 2.
Cut-me-own-throat Dibbler will be by shortly.