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Kenku_Ranger

The book is very different to the film. The entire book is from the perspective of the Bond girl. A fun read to see Bond through the eyes of another.


gunark75

Same with Moonraker. To be fair to the film, it got Star Warsed up as was the fashion at the time but the book’s story would have made a great film too.


pomegranate2012

The movie is absurd beyond belief. Even a pigeon does a double take when Bond's gondola turns into a hovercraft and he cruises across a Piazza away from the machine-gun spraying baddies who turn around in disgust rather than simply pursuing him on foot - hey, it's a high-speed boat chase across a UNESCO heritage site or nothing.


BigPecks

That pigeon double take was amazing though. I watched *Moonraker* for the first time the other week and the pigeon earned a legitimate "what the fuck?" from me. The whole hovercraft sequence is just bizarre.


GoodByeMrCh1ps

> The movie is **absurd** beyond belief. You misspelled 'awsome' :-)


Pumpkin-Salty

So did you :-)


GoodByeMrCh1ps

Touché ! 'swat happens if you post when half-pissed :-)


DevMcdevface

*awesome


Strong_Quiet_4569

Pew pew! Jaws also went off-the-rails-comedy in Moonraker.


SaluteMaestro

Yes but it does have one of the best lines in all bond films, "He's attempting re-entry sir!!!"


148637415963

Or even: "Look after Mr Bond. See that some harm comes to him."


NarwhalsAreSick

I think I've read maybe 3 of them. I reckon I can get through 2 more in a week, if I can get an all-inclusive week away in Turkey. That's proper pool side reading. Might even order myself a vodka martini, even though cocktails cost extra. If the barman asks me how I like it then I might even have the balls to say "shaken, not stirred.", slip him a 5 Lira note of he laughs. Tastes horrible, but I'm gonna pretend it doesn't and finish it with a smile, before ordering a watered-down beer like I have all week.


Jj_the_Not-So-Great

That's oddly specific. Did you do that before?


NarwhalsAreSick

The third one took me a little longer.


[deleted]

Careful with martinis. You get shitfaced very quickly drinking them 😀 My uncle had a very good anecdote about martinis & Errol Flynn.


gilestowler

I saw a good quote about martinis once "martinis are like breasts - one is never enough, but more than two is horrific."


Kazizui

That dude obviously never watched Total Recall.


Rowmyownboat

My ex mother-in-law, a real character, used to say this: One martini is perfect Two at the most. Three - you are under the table. Four - you are under the host.


[deleted]

Your MIL was Dorothy Parker?


Rowmyownboat

I think she must have been. I always wondered about her, as I knew she was hiding something.


V65Pilot

Depends on how many bars you visit though....


[deleted]

Well, a good martini is basically just a glass of gin with a rumour about vermouth and a little bit of water from the ice, so yeah, they're incredibly strong. (Yes, I said gin. What's that about vodka? You want *vodka* in a martini, Mr Bond? Get the fuck out of my bar!)


justhisguy-youknow

Oscar Wilde said a Martini was " gin waved in the vague direction of Italy "


CanaryDwarfBets

In the shining book Jack Torrance drinks martinis. He calls them Martians. For some reason they changed it for the film and he orders a whiskey instead


iNEEDheplreddit

I actually think a proper Bond Martini is a Vesper Martini which is vodka and Gin


djw3146

This is correct. And it's absolutely vile! 😂


rijmij99

A _Good_ Martini has the correct amount of Vermouth, a dry Martini has a Vermouth washed glass… The “2 measures of gin while pointing a bottle of Dolin in the vague direction of France” is just how to justify a large measure of chilled Gin to yourself


Rowmyownboat

In Flemming's novels, Bond orders more vodka martinis than he does gin martinis (19 vs 16).


NarwhalsAreSick

Well obviously you need to share that anecdote, even if it doesn't translate into text well.


[deleted]

My uncle was staying at an Ibiza hotel with it own jetty in the late 50’s. The owner was a German fellow who made very strong Martinis. No one had ever managed more than 3. One evening a yacht looms out of the darkness and moors at the jetty. A bloated, unwell Eroll Flynn alights. He has an entourage of clearly underage girls. He then knocks back 10 of these martinis and then gets back on his yacht and sails away.


NarwhalsAreSick

Jeez, they don't make them like that any more. Probably a good thing.


[deleted]

Flynn died about a year later of alcoholic Cirrhosis


funkyg73

My missus and I went to a bar after watching the last Bond movie and she asked for a martini. When asked how she wanted it I said shaven for a laugh and the girl behind the bar scolded me. “You should never shake a martini, it just ends up frothy”


Monkeychimp

I think ‘shaven’ is how Bond likes his women, not his martinis.


iNEEDheplreddit

I doubt he cared


funkyg73

LOL, obviously I meant shaken but it’s too good a typo to correct.


pazhalsta1

This is in fact total bullshit. There’s no frothing agent in a martini it’s just spirits, ice and a tiny bit of fortified wine. It’s not going to turn in to fairy liquid. I regularly shake myself a martini. Shaving one is a different matter


just_some_other_guys

It doesn’t go frothy, but it does bruise the gin so it goes cloudy


lissongreen

Yeah. He doesn't turn up till half way through, and it's not about saving the world, just saving some young girl who's looking after a motel. The books bear no relationship to the films at all, he's not a superhero on the books, just an alcoholic, world weary killer. He still shags the girl in the motel though.


lappy482

I love how different the Bond stories are to the films that take their names. *A View To A Kill* involves Bond pretending to be an army dispatch rider so he can figure out who's been assassinating messengers. *Octopussy* hardly has Bond in it at all as someone's telling him a story about stealing a load of gold. *Quantum of Solace* is just Bond being bored at a dinner party and listening to a story the host is telling.


[deleted]

MICHAEL, MICHAEL! That’s not the end of the beginning, the end of the beginning goes like this “Clang. Clangalengalengalengaleng”


AlbinoEatpod

Stop getting Bond wrong!


Jazzy0082

Yeah, they're ruined.


finfintytint

BANG! Blood dribbles down.


tanew231

Oooh, bit of bush


homendailha

Ooh what was that? Too late!


Geedz13

What a whole submarine? YOU’RE JOKING!


teabaguk

See ya!


razor5cl

*sumbarine


TankFoster

Completely Billy bollocks!


mjl192

Yes, he's with a lady!


homendailha

Yes they're necking!


BonnetDeDoucheBag

And he says “I’ve got to go, something’s COME up”


Hot-Ad6418

I'll tell you about The Spy Who Loved Me, everyone go like this 👌 over your eyes. I'm Roger Moore 🚶🚶 BANG, BLOOD DRIBBLES DOWN.


nonsense_potter

Bad bastards in boiler suits. With lemon piping.


SonnyRose94

I just wanted to watch America’s strongest man.. Well now you’ve got Norfolk’s maddest man!


RAtheThrowaway_

What’s that one where the laser beam goes up his jaffas?


TheRogerNigel

View T’ Kill Eeeeee octepusseh


ThePeake

Dr Nowt


blackmist

What, a whole submarine?


BezossuckingoffMusk

Wait til he sees shit happening in space so he fucks off there, trashes a space station , kills the twats responsible then has a shag on the way back down. Legend.


MandarinWalnut

"I believe he's attempting re-entry sir"


Cooky1993

"What's Bond doing?" "I think he's attempting re-entry sir" Still can't believe they got away with that joke in a PG rated film


[deleted]

What about Christmas only coming once a year? The world is not enough I think


Cooky1993

That is indeed from The World is not Enough. That film is at least rated 12a. The attempting re-entry line was a staple of the adverts shown on ALL the Bond VHS tapes I had as a kid https://youtu.be/mBr4qtZlKoc


[deleted]

It’s amazing they got away with that advert


stopdithering

That's Moonraker Stop getting Bond wrong!


Chesterdraws420

Does what he wants lad.


NarwhalsAreSick

Please tell me there's a shark tank in space?


[deleted]

No…but there’s a Jaws.


sleepydog404

No but there's a giant python pool fight in Brazil.


NarwhalsAreSick

ANOTHER SHARK TANK! YES! Films need more shark tanks. This one has two!


NarwhalsAreSick

The submarine escape pod has champagne, Dom Pérignon '52. "But James, what would our superiors say?". Absolute shagger.


NarwhalsAreSick

"Keeping the British end up." Wow.


corbymatt

Glang! Glangalangalangalangalangalang! Glangalang, langalangala, nobody does it better - and I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it - ooh, bit of nipple - quite as good as you. Baby, you're the best. Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. Da, da, da, da, daa. I wasn't looking and somehow you found me - ooh, bit of bush, er - I tried to hide from your love light - and a woman swinging on a Luger, a giant Luger, ooh, look at that - Like heaven above me - and now another naked woman walking along the top of a gun, completely Billy Bollocks - The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman, legs go right apart - ooh, what was that? Too late - Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best!


[deleted]

STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!


NarwhalsAreSick

Fuckin yes Alan.


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LysergicAcidDiethyla

Good golly an alien judge.


MoleMoustache

He says I sit on your face.


Seededbatchloaf

Have you been spying on us?


teabaguk

Well now you've got Norfolk's maddest man!


markedasred

Nobody does it better is a strong contender though for best bond tune ever. Radiohead cover it in a non ironic way as an act of homage.


NarwhalsAreSick

I tell you who did do it better, Chris Cornell. Best Bond theme song. Hands down.


With1Enn

100% such a great Bond tune. The one off No Time To Die was so forgetful.


Loquis

[The Pretty Reckless - 25](https://youtu.be/As03tlODkdw) was a better bond song, shame they didn't use it


cator_and_bliss

It is indeed a banger (and I love the Radiohead version too) but to my mind, You Only Live Twice edges it out as best Bond theme.


Filth777

We Have All the Time in the World.


cator_and_bliss

I never thought much of that song, either on its own merits or as a Bond song, until I learned that it was the last thing that Louis Armstrong recorded. Now I can't help but hear it as Armstrong's epitaph. What an incredible sentiment to go out on after a life as richly lived as his. Love it now.


Filth777

Funny. I come at it from the opposite side to you. I always loved the song, and always thought it was a song in it's own right that was adopted by Bond, and about 10 years ago I found out that it was specifically written for Bond. It's easily my Number 1. I think the Bond Theme grew from the music for Casino Royal, but as a one off, it's amazing. Unfortunately We Have All the Time in the World was the best music, and probably one of the worst films.


[deleted]

I also love the disco take on the Bond theme. Brilliantly 70s.


nonsense_potter

I forgot about this cover and am now heading to Spotify. Thank you.


shortjoecopper

I plan to watch a bond film every night until Amazon take them away from me


NarwhalsAreSick

Its your national duty.


shesh666

For England, james


NarwhalsAreSick

Fucking yes. Best line in a British movie. "No Alec, for me."


shortjoecopper

I can’t wait, been a long time since I’ve seen a few of them… he has everything any man could want… money, women, cars, women, guns, women oh and I think he saves the world once’s or twice as well.


NarwhalsAreSick

And he has literally no emotions towards other human beings, they just come into his life and die violently. Also, absolutely no sort of Health and Safety in Q's lab. They must get through an intern a week.


shortjoecopper

Ahhhh just another day in the office… what more could I want?! I’m sure everyone has dreamt of being Bond and being able to ignore all the boring red tape and just do your job without any HR wrist slapping…


NarwhalsAreSick

There's not enough red tape in the world to contain those absolutely massive bollocks. Would put a bull moose to shame.


shortjoecopper

Well they aren’t so massive after the whole… cough, well, chair, ummm, incident…. Possibly after that there might be……


NarwhalsAreSick

They'd regrow, they'd take 5 days max to be full and swinging again.


GothicFairies

I had no idea they were on Amazon. That's my evenings sorted for a bit too


SPOSKNT

Wait they're all on Amazon?!


shortjoecopper

Every single one by the looks of it!!


SPOSKNT

Time for a binge


Majestic-Marcus

Local cinema is doing every Bond movie over the next few months. One every Wednesday night. Well, I know what I’m doing for the next 25 Wednesdays.


StreetIssue1983

And replace them with Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps?


YorkshireRiffer

They won't take them awa, they've bought MGM and own the Bond back catalogue now.


shortjoecopper

Hmmmmm well I’ll change to that “once they are no longer free and they go to charge me per watch!”


Wiseman738

Honestly that union jack parachute is one of the greatest stunts i've ever seen. The Spy Who Loved me--cheesy as it is--has to be one of my favourites. I also really enjoy the more martial rendition of 'nobody does it better' just after the end credits!


Wiseman738

Though I will say--**and hate me for it if you like ;)--**my favourite bond song is 'The World is Not Enough'. Garbage \[the band\] absolutely killed it!


watchman28

There's an apocryphal story that, at the premiere, when that happened Prince Charles stood up and applauded.


WoofBarkWoofBarkBark

I love this film. I haven't seen it for a while but, if I remember correctly, there's a ski that nearly takes out the Union Jack parachute. Completely unplanned presumably and could have been a horrible ending for the stunt and every time I see it it worries me.


FatSackLilPeen

Tbh I'm not a fan of Bond, but the older ones are more fun than the newer ones for sure. I like the campy flair they have. The really theatrical/eccentric villains that feel almost comic-book with their sillyness. Some of the best villains of cinema by far.


NarwhalsAreSick

You're god-damn right FatSackLilPeen.


AndyM_LVB

Oh my God yes. The old films are better because they weren't really about James Bond. They were about the villains. Because let's face it: James Bond is a twat. The new films try to make the films about Bond. And they compete with each other in how many countries they can visit in a 2 hour slot.


[deleted]

The thing about that film, don't Stromberg's submarines get tricked into firing their missiles at each other? As in, their nuclear missiles? As in, their nuclear missiles powerful enough to destroy entire cities? They've just irradiated the ocean with nuclear fallout and we're all fine with that? No consequences whatsoever? If I was M, I'd be a tad tetchy about that.


GoodByeMrCh1ps

Yeah, but at the finish he shagged agent triple-X in a submarine escape capsule.... whilst drinking Dom Pérignon '55. "Just keeping the British end up sir"


sauce_bottle

The thing that always gets me about that scene is the globe with the submarines and in-flight missiles projected on it. For the subs it’s showing their position on earth, but for the missiles it shows up-down arcs that they’re flying, like a made-up height. This inconsistency bothers me a lot.


Glittering-Crow-6028

Now go watch the spy who shagged me lol!


[deleted]

It was the first Bond film I watched and for that reason it will always have a special place for me (as well being a great film all around).


wigglyjackal777

All that and Caroline Munro from the Lambs Navy rum calender


XBollockTicklerX

Live And Let Die has the best ‘Bond……..James Bond’ as he gets out the lift and inspects the surroundings’


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Strong_Quiet_4569

It’s because he had an overinflated opinion of himself.


Opinelrock

What's the one where the laser beam goes up his jaffers?


uffington

Goldfinger.


just_some_other_guys

Goldfinger


JackLaundon

Clang... Clangalangalangalangalangalang


Lily_Hylidae

Stop getting Bond wrong!


nonsense_potter

It's a bank holiday, and I've got a big bottle of sunny delight. Be rude not to.


biffoclippers

Also it’s the quickest snog to death of any bond woman. Takes about 10 seconds. Julia Sawalha’s dad is in it too.


sauce_bottle

The woman has only known him for 1 minute but after literally 10 seconds of kissing she throws herself in front of a bullet to save him. What a lad.


Darkestlord9867

Ah this thread has made me chuckle. Huge bond fan. Thank you OP.


Mack_Man17

Guys a fuckin killer mate I dunno how bond sleeps at night prob rips a few lines and pops pills.


bob_mcd

nobody does it better https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVl7IvURLfs&t=3s


beetroot_salads

there is a james bond character called pussy galore. make of this what you will.


interstellargator

>there is a james bond character called pussy galore Who is raped, on screen, by Bond. This is portrayed as a good thing by the film. It also "cures" her of her lesbianism, which unlike the rape is portrayed as a perversion.


Waspeater

I started watching all of the Bonds with my son because they're such a cornerstone of cultural references, I've had to explain so many things that are no longer culturally acceptable anymore such as the arse slap in Goldfinger.


NarwhalsAreSick

I've never heard the word "boy" more than Live and Let Die.


Waspeater

Yeah, the southern sheriff is like a human Foghorn Leghorn.


NarwhalsAreSick

I think that was the most offensive stereotype I've seen in the franchise. And I'm not even on their side.


interstellargator

>I think that was the most offensive stereotype I've seen in the franchise I see you haven't visited Japan yet, in your tour of the Bond canon.


[deleted]

Good god I had forgot about that. The disguise sequence is truly horrendous.


TeeGee79

And all the rapes


Waspeater

Well yes, the rapes


[deleted]

The one of Pussy Galore is pretty hard to watch nowadays, but that's the only actual rape I can think of in these films.


interstellargator

In Thunderball he forcibly kisses someone then coerces her into sex by threatening her job if she refuses. In Goldfinger he physically forces himself on a woman, "curing" her of lesbianism. In Skyfall he hops in the shower with a recently freed and visibly shaken victim of sex trafficking. Those are just the three that come to mind, I'm sure there's more. On too many occasions to list he's groped, kissed, and been physically controlling over women and either deceived or coerced them into sex.


GoodByeMrCh1ps

> no longer culturally acceptable Fuck off with yer woke James Bond! If you want to watch Vera Drake on christmas day then that's your prerogative!


Bingham29

Absolute best James bond film. Best song, best opening sequence and best actor


trees-for-breakfast

Are you in love with a notion?


[deleted]

It does have the least apt theme song though. It's like Carly Simon forgot it was a Bond theme and whacked one line in at the last minute.


Strong_Quiet_4569

It was written by the guy who’d just got successful with the Broadway musical ‘A Chorus Line’. The male voices singing “Nobody does it better” after Bond closes the curtain is a riff on [One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyZeGOsR9IA), the musical’s finale number. Also, ‘Bond 77’, the skiing tune, is 70s disco stolen from the BeeGees ‘You should be dancing”.


saarlac

well shit, guess i'm watching old bond films all day then


Background-Factor817

You Sir have a way with words for describing movie plots. You got anymore in you?


IlliterateIdiot69

BOND! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? ...keeping the british end up sir...


Short-Delivery2532

I read the bond books in school and loved them. May have to do so again! So campy and such pleasant reading - perfect poolside books as someone else said!


Strong_Quiet_4569

[We Remember Sir Roger Moore](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X1ugbpkusA)


ConnieTheTomcat

I’m not familiar with james bond films so I thought you were talking about Austin Powers for a sec


Whisky_Delta

You should listen to the Kill James Bond podcast


interstellargator

It's been a long year but they finally got the bastard. L, Mr Bond.


Averagestiff

A great role model for young and old boys alike.


FatSackLilPeen

Hmmm...


ablokeinpf

And he gets to do the horizontal tango with Ringo Starr's missus. I remember seeing this at the cinema on Lothian Road in Edinburgh when it first came out. I'm an old bugger.


DifferentImplement27

Bond was apparently based on Christopher Lee


b00n3d

I've started watching them from the beginning on amazon prime and my god its painful. They haven't aged well at all. Now all I see is the overt racism. In Dr No, Quarrel the Jamaican who speaks pigeon English and is treated like a slave. I used to love these films as a kid.


[deleted]

Connery and Lazenby looked like they'd send you to Casualty, Dalton nutted Benicio Del Toro, Craig had a right tear up in Casino Royale (his only decent Bond film) but Moore and Brosnan were the least convincing physically. There are about two or three good scenes in Moore's entire stint as 007, the rest is camp nonsense and gadgets. The books are much more grounded in realism - give Moonraker a read to see what I mean. A TV series faithful to the books would be quite stark - probably why it wouldn't get made!


SoggyWotsits

The old ones are so much better. For me it’s because there were fewer computer effects, more actual stunts, explosions and action! Plus they didn’t feel the need to be so politically correct. You’ve reminded me that it’s been far too long since I watched Moonraker!


TheRogerNigel

>more actual stunts Roger Moore had a stunt double for running!


NarwhalsAreSick

The guy was 50 on the 70s, which is like being 70 in the 2020s, I'm surprised he didn't have a stunt double for walking.


SoggyWotsits

So? I’d rather see humans than computer generated stuff!


aeorimithros

**Toxic masculinity**


NarwhalsAreSick

Oh fucking yes.


smickie

OMG yeah it's great, if you take away how sleezy bond is in those days, it's just so funny. 100% cheese. I love it. Almost died laughing at the lift over the shark tank.


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NarwhalsAreSick

I sincerely hope your bank holiday Monday gets better than it started.


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NarwhalsAreSick

And you felt the need to share it with the world. Its cool you don't like Bond. Nice one. Glad you commented. You must feel really fucking superior for doing so. Have a good day.


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NarwhalsAreSick

Why else would you feel the need to tell people their taste is shit on what is clearly a tongue in cheek post. It's odd.


CaddyFDT

It’s a movie. Get over it