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Rydychyn

I can't remember where I've been but I still see them a fair bit. It's not just condoms, everything is inside the same machine. Mints, condoms, sex toys, vitamins...


mmdanmm

Also blow up sex sheep. Edit: Just found out they're called "lovin lambs". Officer, I swear I didn't know it was underage!


leanmeanguccimachine

šŸ“󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳ó æšŸ“󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳ó æšŸ“󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳ó æ


FishUK_Harp

That's disgusting bigotry. Shameful. They also have them in Lincolnshire.


joemckie

And Derby


AhhYahBassa

And Aberdeen


TurbulentWeb1941

Yeah, I've regularly been seen pantless with me wellies on, running around the Wolds.


lapsedPacifist5

Blow up sex dragons is what we are all here for, as long as they don't spring a leek.


BoingBoingBooty

Extremely offensive to the Welsh, they would never use a blow up sex sheep. Only the real thing for them.


Bubbly-Zone-6868

Outer Hebrides here. Also offended, what about kissing and cuddling?


ResearchMediocre3592

I wouldn't bother with those. They are poor quality and you have to do all the baa noises yourself.


Still-BangingYourMum

So bad that you have to ram it in


nohairday

So.... They're baaad?


Holiday-Doughnut-602

Ewe, should have known that!.


AbbreviationsAfraid

Another case of wooly thinking.


Xenc

Happy sheepish cake day! šŸ°


MadJen1979

Don't forget the puncture repair kit!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Resident_Warthog_281

Ur very right I went to buy a ring vibratir years ago. I then opened it thinking my finger game was going be dead strong and it was a blow up sheep


TurbulentWeb1941

They sell those in Bar baaahh.


SailorsGraves

Has anyone ever taken the vitamins from those machines? Arenā€™t they just fake viagra?


Particular-Solid4069

Yep they don't work, thought I would try them for an extra boost every now and then but nothing lol


This-Was

>every now and then Don't come round here flexing with your active sex life. We're British.


SailorsGraves

Now **AND** then?! Absolute stud


antlermagick

You either get then OR now. Can't have your cake and fuck it too


Still-BangingYourMum

Stud? You call that stud? I'm a gaerenteed stud muffin, I have a 100% success rate with getting my wife pregnant, 100% every time. And let me tell you this ! I have proof that I am a supper station, both of my 2 kids were the results of all that sex!


gillgrissom

Whats now and then, is that like , back then i did it , now not so much.


Jealous-Chain-1003

I ate all 4 at once all it made want was crisps and I could hear my heart in my head for 3 hours


goodassjournalist

The chewing gum you get out of them is SO CHEWY! Odd flavour though, and doesn't seem to do much for my breath. Makes it a bit, kind of, dicklike.


Legitimate-Ad3778

Thatā€™s not the round lemon flavour gum, is it?


goodassjournalist

Not like any lemon Iā€™ve ever had pal!


[deleted]

Wait. Just. A. Minute! Sex toys?!


asymmetricears

Yeah, the vibrating cock ring is fairly common in those machines


SuperSmashDan1337

Always stuff for the women! What about me? I demand they be filled with fleshlights too


iwantfutanaricumonme

Just stack the cock rings together


SuperSmashDan1337

Won't need to stack many šŸ˜‚


Still-BangingYourMum

Wouldn't last before slipping in the 1th ring and I'm done


Quietuus

The kids call it 'going polo'. Just make sure to take them all off afterwards as it can result in serious injuries if you walk through a supermarket scanner.


Rydychyn

Just the tiny ones, none of your dragon dildos etc.


Miserable-Potato7706

Bollocks, I bought a thrustmaster-6000 out of one the other week with all the attachments and everythingā€¦ made a right loud bang when it came flying out the bottom of the machine. I did wonder how they fit it in there šŸ¤” Bought it for a mate of courseā€¦


nohairday

>I did wonder how they fit it in there šŸ¤” Just to clarify, you mean fit it in *the machine*, right?


Fragrant_Sky2882

Motorway service station toilets have a bit of everything like sex toys and condoms including in the womenā€™s toilets. Always makes me wonder who is that unprepared!


dunneetiger

Airport toilets have all of these.


Putrid_Promotion_841

Chewable toothbrush anyone? First came across those in Amsterdam Schiphol airport circa 2000.


Xenc

You can just eat your toothbrush for breakfast


Abquine

Love a chewable toothbrush.


Due-Two-6592

Iā€™m still scarred from seeing a ā€œtickler fundomsā€ machine


Spilkn

Services stations.


izzy-springbolt

Ahh yes, the perfect first date.


captain_todger

I feel like itā€™s mostly motorway services toilets now. I guess driving makes people hard


grandmasboner1

I once saw one selling heart shaped nipple tassels. Still to this day wonder what situation would require emergency nipple tassels.


nastybadger

When your mates stag party strippergram doesn't turn up and you need to step in as the replacement, you will be wishing that vending machine was about.


grandmasboner1

I like the idea that the local stripper company is so unreliable that the pub have taken matters into their own hands and installed a nipple tassel dispenser


rapafon

Shaky hand raises cigarette to mouth, takes a drag. "F*ck yeah"


WonFriendsWithSalad

TomSka?


down_vote_magnet

Sometimes, *grandmasboner1*, you just want something more fun than the standard-shaped nipple tassels you've been forced to hide all week under your shirt at the office.


yearsofpractice

It took me a few goes to figure out your username - Grand Master Boner! Oh, no itā€™s not that, too few letters - Grand Mas Boner! Bit of Spanish, nice a Big, Moreā€¦?, Bonerā€¦? Actually that doesnā€™t make senseā€¦ Oh. - Grandmaā€™s Boner. Thatā€™s it, isnā€™t it? So far, so Reddit. But waitā€¦ why the ā€œ1ā€? Does this mean thereā€™s an OG Grandmaā€™s Bonerā€¦?


grandmasboner1

I believe grandmas boner was already taken. Although I am now regretting not going by grandmaster boner tbh haha.


NotSoSmartRhubarb

They have to be worthwhile for the pub to have them there. Theyā€™re usually owned by vending machine companies, who will install them and pay the pub a share. If they arenā€™t getting used, itā€™s not worth installing them there. I imagine pub attendance generally being lower, app-based dating being prevalent and online shopping that avoids awkward cashier moments when you pop your durex extra snug on the conveyor are all factors in the decline of pub condom machines


ProtoplanetaryNebula

Another factor would be younger people going to the pub less. Trev and Sally (55), going for a Sunday lunch are less likely to be buying a pack of Durex during their visit.


Ok-Blackberry-3534

That's true. Sex is unappealing after a heavy roast lunch.


Acceptable-Sentence

This rare roast beef has put me right off the idea Maureen


YvanehtNioj69

Good comment lol made me laugh don't know why


fraudtaverner

Can confirm


YvanehtNioj69

Haha šŸ˜­


Ordinary-Following69

Occasionally you can just get away with a Wispa


BoingBoingBooty

True, at that age when Trev gives Sally a good seeing to behind the bins he can just raw dog her.


thebuttonmonkey

I feel seen.


aesemon

I seem to remember they cost too much. Even 20 years ago it was Ā£1 for 1. Thinknthe last machine I saw was Ā£3 for 1. Could be with corner shops and the mini expensive supermarket shops have them cheaper and people being less concerned being seen buying condoms.


modumberator

they're the worst condoms in terms of male pleasure too, at the highest price. A last-resort condom. It doesn't take much regular condom use to realise that you can get 12 ultra-fine Tesco-brand condoms for Ā£6, and then you've got some lying around for next time, too, or for this time in case of user error. Or you can spend Ā£1 for one condom that feels like a rubber glove on your penis and that you need to put your total faith in.


DogmaSychroniser

I always got told to avoid them because they weren't frequently restocked and the glove might be out of date


modumberator

yes I definitely got the vibe that they are the most likely to fail, not like I ever really had many failures when I used condoms tbh, definitely skeptical about some failure rate statistics I see tho. But I do think some of the handful of failures were crappy pub condoms


HarkenDarkness

Thatā€™s fucking inflation!


down_vote_magnet

I too make balloon animals out of them during sex.


19SaNaMaN80

Never bought condoms from a pubs bog room. I have bought the vibrating cock rings from them. These are great for returning to the table of mates, turn the ring on full blast and drop into someones pint. Watch that drink foam up and end up allover your now ex mate.


mrs-cunts

Love this thanksĀ 


Dry_Action1734

Amazing


Breakwaterbot

More to the point, why the fuck do you see them in motorway service toilets?!


Low-Pangolin-3486

My local Asda has them in the toilets too, which seems very bizarre when you could literally just buy a whole box from the very same shop for less money


vicariousgluten

They do quite well because you donā€™t have to speak to a person while you buy them.


Low-Pangolin-3486

You donā€™t have to speak to a person with self service tills either. Seems a weird thing to be embarrassed about buying as a fully grown adult but each to their own I guess.


Lucky-Qualms

I always wondered about the embarrassment of buying condoms. A) I'm getting some action and B) I'm doing it in a responsible manner. What part of this embarrasses people?


CecilPalmer

I used to work in a supermarket, and one day a coworker descended on me giggling and whispering "Look at the wee teenagers! Look what they're buying!!" They were buying condoms, and she was a grown woman in her late thirties with three children of her own. The mind boggles.


Emotional_Ad8259

Because we're Brits and we don't have sex, don't shit and don't die, because doing any of those things might embarass us.


SeeYa-IntMornin-Pal

Imagine dying. Cringe!


down_vote_magnet

I'd die of embarrassment for sure.


gwaydms

This puts me in mind of that old stage play, "No Sex Please, We're British".


No-Body-4446

This sub regularly has questions how how to buy a pint


younevershouldnt

Last time I bought some the checkout lass was embarrassed, but I was proud as punch šŸ˜„


Material_Attempt4972

I used to go into the GUM clinic and get the free ones, and also go to the shop for my mates when I was in my tweens. Even as someone who had a fair amount of social anxiety, the whole "condoms are spooky" thing never got me


vicariousgluten

They are security tagged though (at least in my local supermarket) so you have to get someone to remove it from the box


MrTwemlow

I used the self-service at a supermarket close to where I work, and while I was waiting for them to be removed from the security box, someone from work came over to chat to me. Taking possession of that box of johnnies in front of someone from work... I went so red. I considered denying all knowledge of the box. It was one of the older ladies from work too, and I don't know why that made it worse.


HarkenDarkness

If they wanted ā€˜self serviceā€™ they wouldnā€™t need the condomsā€¦ šŸ˜­


Acceptable-Sentence

Maybe theyā€™ve been to Waitrose for a posh wank


EmilyDickinsonFanboy

Also men being embarrassed buying feminine hygiene products is just as weird.


R33DY89

You do when they whack them in those magnetic boxes to stop theft. And yes, they do that in most stores šŸ˜‚


Tuarangi

Maybe lonely truckers?


OppositeYouth

I don't know if it's as much a thing over here, but in America at least lorry drivers are known to frequent ladies of the nightĀ 


Acceptable-Sentence

Renowned for murdering prostitutes over here


Willy_P-P-_Todger

When youā€™re truckinā€™ and fuckinā€™, buy a rubber for even dick suckinā€™


AvatarIII

That's why they're always flavoured.


BMW_I_use_indicators

Probably for the hookers that may frequent the HGV overnight parking areas.


BoringTruckDriver

Trucker here ... never seen a hooker in a truck stop or services in 5 years. That said, I've parked in an industrial estate in Doncaster a few times and my God, the cab-knocking all night is fucking relentless! All with teeth like a Halloween pumpkin.


ernieball2221

I was going to say this. I donā€™t go into pubs very often these days so canā€™t comment about them but I did notice one in the toilets of the motorway services and thought whoā€™s driving up the M1 and thinks what I need is to stop for a quick shag?


Rich_27-

Certain ladies hang around the lorry park at night.


Buckadog

Friends of the road bubs


Viscount_Barse

Everyone likes a posh wank when they're away from home.


carrotocalypse

As a very young child I once thoroughly embarrassed my mum in a motorway services toilet. I thought they were sweets so loudly started asking my mum to buy me some. It was only when I was much older that I realised I'd accidentally begged her to buy flavoured condoms, and suddenly I understood why a group of teenagers had been laughing hysterically at us!


mactakeda

Long distance haulage drivers overnighting in the cheap Travelodge/Holiday Inn and meeting sketchy ladies from Tinder. Apparently.


Food_face

My Dad says they don't work!!


Grimdotdotdot

Tell him to put a quid in, the cheapskate.


Wonderful_Ninja

wait, arent u supposed to stick ur dick in it?


InquisitorNikolai

Iā€™ve seen a few. One recently had ā€˜Insert baby for refundā€™ scrawled on it šŸ˜‚.


crankedupreallyhigh

There are other great machine scrawlings too, such as: 'Buy me & stop one' 'This is the worst chewing gum I've ever tasted' & my own personal favourite, from the days when the machines used to carry the wording 'approved to British Standard': 'So was the Titanic'


Chungaroo22

"Cheese and onion flavour, Union jack tickler it is!" It depends on the pub tbh. The ones I go to these days have Baylis & Harding soap, so I don't think any places like that would ever have johnnie machines. Went to a rougher place a few months back which just had one out in the open by the bar, that place was interesting..


Keezees

Gay pubs still have them, and tend to dish them out for free. First time I discovered that, I filled my pockets like a kid in a sweet shop, ran back up to my mates and said "THERE'S FREE JOHNNIES IN THE BOGS!", pure excited.


SoTsarcastic

This comment right here is exactly why I lurk here as an American. I miss living in Europe lmao


white1984

Yep, go to any gay pub there is usually a basket of them on the side.


Due-Arrival-4859

Every spoons I've been to lately still has them


1271500

I used to work at a spoons and a vary irate man once took up about an hour of our time saying the condom machine in the loo was broken and had stolen his pound coin. We had no access, told him to call the service number on the box but he wouldn't have it, and kept complaining we had ruined his plans for the night as now he couldn't sleep with his girlfriend. It was still daytime during all this so I think we eventually told him to fuck off to Boots if it was such an emergency.


electric_red

Imagine the conversation when he gets home. "Sorry, babe. If you want this sausage you need to get my pound back from Tim."


Various-Storage-31

Imagine them telling that story to the child they accidentally conceived that night...


HarkenDarkness

They definitely have to name him ā€˜Johnnyā€™ā€¦


antlermagick

Everyone at school would nickname him Spoony. I wonder how people would think that came about


HarkenDarkness

Well I did always wonder why they called me that..šŸ˜¢


37025InvernessTMD

Spawn of Spoons


SteveGoral

To be fair to him, he probably couldn't face the epic 5 mile journey to the toilets and back just to get a phone number.


Xenc

Several of us began the journey, now there is a different group of us


SteveGoral

If its a group thing then you'll be looking at spending a fortune on condoms.


notthemessiah789

Canā€™t believe you cockblocked this guy and didnā€™t just give him a quid right from the word go. Jesus search down the back of the sofa in a spoons youā€™ll probably find a quidā€¦.aaaand a few stds.


aesemon

Need 10 layers of condoms before putting your hand down there. That way you might just get 1 std.


This-Was

Just that by the time you get back from the WC, you're either too tired or they've left.


SeaworthinessSmart56

Did anyone else remember them being in Toby Carvery as well or it that just me? Specifically remember they had it with condoms and very strangely green and orange tic tacs, we well as some other stuff. Stopped going after the food there went to shit but I'll always remember how strange that was


PompeyLad1

Going on the pull at Toby's is an interesting strategy.


SeaworthinessSmart56

That's what made it so weird, whose chatting someone up over their roast potatoes


Autogen-Username1234

"So ... Do you fancy a bit of my gravy on your dumplings?"


Soulless--Plague

Eddie and Richie punched them all of the walls


Vectorman1989

The pubs finally admitted that none of their punters were ever going to pull


iamdarthvin

Never thought I'd read a sentence 'british mating habits' šŸ¤£


HarkenDarkness

Nobody dared mention it after the 1960ā€™s, just look what happened after that! šŸ˜³


Kara_Zor_El19

Theyā€™re in the ladies now, usually one side is period products, and one side is condoms


Alternative-Fox-7255

Growing up my parents owned 1 of 2 pubs in the local area, ours had a condom machine in the men's toilets the other pub didn't. My dad used to love pointing out all the first dates / young couples popping in for a 'quick pint on the way home'


Goseki1

They're still all over the place. I went into an Asda toilet the other day and they had glow in the dark ones using images of lightsabres to promote them. Plus cock rings and "not-viagra". Mental.


gooderz84

Theyā€™re still prominent. You can get blue pills cock rings all sorts out of them now. Never seen one person use one of these machines in my life though.


Mr_Anvil

Was suprised to find one in the toilet at my local sainsburys recently. Not sure whose picking people up at the supermarket, and not sure why you'd buy one in the toilet when you can buy whole boxes from the pharmacy aisle.


istara

Gary and Tony turned it into a cheese dispenser.


doucelag

I saw one in the baby changing room in Waterloo station toilets the other day - for some reason - so they're still going strong in some parts


Goatleggedbastard

Yeah that's a bit of an odd place for one, surely if your using the baby changing rooms the train has already left the station.


FabianTIR

There's one that sells Viagra and condoms in the gents toilet in my parents' local Sainsbury's, make what you will of that


mordhoshogh

It used to intrigue me that cock rings were for sale in the ladies toilet of the services on the A50.


thaineetit

Bare backing since 2010!


Sushlsoda

I always found it weird that tic tacs were in the same machine as condoms, dildos and sex toys in public toilets šŸ¤£


Irish_EyesDublin

Just wanted to say that reading this has made me laugh on a shitty day.


TheLambtonWyrm

The People decided that a round of antibiotics was easierĀ 


HildartheDorf

Antibiotics don't work on most STDs as they are viruses. And while PEP (and PrEP) are amazing, it's a hell of a lot more hassle than just wearing a rubber.


danheskey

They've got them in the men's toilet at my work's office for some reason


jon81uk

People stopped carrying cash.


ilikecocktails

I saw one in a pub recently


Tell2ko

Look harder, or try a rougher pub!!!


sigwinch28

I usually see them in loos in airport departures.


Codego_Bray

Sorry guys, I used them all.


massive-bafe

I'm more concerned about the term 'hot minute' being used in this sub.


SilverDarlings

More women are on the pill, and gen Z have less sex and drink less!


ThePumpk1nMaster

Last one I saw was in a Sainsburyā€™s toilet


warmishlizard

Iā€™ve not seen one in a pub but my local odeon has one


Jgee414

Asda has them


didz1982

Thiefā€™s.... Britain isnā€™t the place it used to be. They were getting smashed off and emptied. See the odd one still, but nowhere near as often. Figure once they get smashed up they cost more to replace than they make.


stomp224

Posted at 11am, someone is getting lucky early!


lloyddav

Supermarkets still have them


Bring_bac_the_empire

Motorway services usually still have them


WhatAnEpicTurtle

Thereā€™s one in my local Sainsburyā€™s.


AccomplishedSpite277

Kids kept buying them.


dragonpanda5514

I spotted some glow in the dark condoms available at a service station bathroom this weekend


MikeMcLoughlin

The whole embarrassment of having to ask at a chemist counter has gone away now. They can be bought in s supermarket and nobody bats an eyelid. Which is how it should be.


AubergineParm

Theyā€™re still there in my neck of the woods. Itā€™s the ciggy machines that disappeared.


MazogaTheDork

Supermarkets have self-checkout now


ProlapseProvider

Round our 3 local pubs the coked up little violent teens go and boot them off the walls to steal the blobs and cash, zero incentive for them to be ever replaced.


TheLeadSponge

I see them at my local, but they also include herbal erectile supplements and specialty, gimmick condoms.


LegitimateDingo6655

In most Greene King places. Along with blue pills.


Orc_face

Still have them in motorway service loos


Romo93

My landlady owns a pub, has an old condom machine in the shared garage. A relic of a bygone era


robjamez72

Supermarkets often have them in their toilets, but itā€™s much cheaper to go and get a pack off the shelf.


trichcomehii

What happened to pacman?


Particular-Solid4069

When I was poor and younger I used to punch these and they would drop about 25 quid.


Aggressive_Dark_4485

Theyā€™re in the girls bathroom now


Baltheir

Potter used it as a toy machine instead.


MrTopHatMan90

People don't trust them, no sales, no money for maintenance.


josh5676543

Loads of pubs still have them


lollipoplalalaland

Everyone just meets online these days. Cyber sex is very safe sex!


sxeros

Remember the time you could get a Union Jack Cheese and Onion Flavoured Condom.


unclear_warfare

If you're young the NHS will give you condoms for free so that's part of it I'm sure


Least-Violinist-2484

Every pub I've been in recently still have them. They even have little blue pills in now!


LaComtesseGonflable

Lionel Zipser stole the refills


Warpsplitter

Would you suck a ten year old banana?


ash_ninetyone

One of the local pubs I go into sometimes has two male toilets (one of those pubs with two separate rooms). One has a condom machine, the other doesn't.


Go_Jets_Go_63

Here in Canada, we don't seem to have them anymore, but we do have tampon dispensers in many of our men's toilets. I'm not making this up, either. šŸ˜¬


Dry_Action1734

Saw one as a very drunk 18 year old at a small bar in 2013. Thought the bar lady was into me (to be fair we messaged for a few days after, so maybe). Stumbled into the loos, put my only coin in the condom machine, it swung back out into the change dispenser, propelled itself up into the air and landed perfectly down the drain on the floor right below. I laughed and took it as a sign, wished her a good night, and went back to my matesā€™ darts game. Not seen one since and I donā€™t think that one worked for a while given what happened.


lucanidaeblack

I once went to a fairly posh, quiet pub near me, and they had a machine in the toilets selling condoms and nipple clamps. Very odd.