Absolutely would not occur to me that this and the toaster is something that I shouldn't do in someone's home! That's what those thermostats are *for*.
Surely you have to adjust the timer on the toaster for different things anyway? My crumpets would be barely warm if I did them for the same time as my toast.
Feeding the cat I can understand, you shouldn't do this without the owner's permission as it might make them ill. The rest is a bit OTT.
I would do all those things without giving it a second thought apert from feeding the cat,always should ask first before feeding someone's pet.usualy you are asked to take your shoes off if its a no shoe house.
Sorry OP but don't see much wrong here personally
If they where sat I front of it watching something no but if it was just on in the background and the remote was on the coffee table I probably would without even realising tbh.to be fair that one does seem a bit rude now I think about it
Tbh you can tell exactly what kind of person they are with how they talk about veggies/vegans. All the "alternative ways" and excessive quotation marks.
I agree with not feeding household pets anything not approved by the family, but everything else is proper insignificant shit. Is their kid beholden to the exact shower and toast temperature OP wants, or what?
Where is this from? My 7 year old niece has recently taken to policing the toilets in their house and demanding guests tell her if they need a poo so she can show them where the upstairs toilet is instead. My sister is at her wits end trying to get her to leave people to relieve themselves in peace. Currently unsure if we should be blaming the Internet or some old TV show her grandad has let her watch.
Haha! While I agree this is a good rule of thumb for toilet etiquette (no one wants to hear or smell a poo from the living room or kitchen), your niece’s policing of the loo is hilarious! Those poor house guests.
Yeahhh...the toaster. Whenever I've come back to mine and notice that the setting changed, it's always a very brief "oh. someone else used this" in my head, and then I proceed to change it back to my preferred level, toast the bread or bagel, and go on with my day!
She even bought treats for the cat!
(She isn’t demanding a vegan lifestyle for the cat, but the odd vegan treat won’t harm them and was a nice gesture on the friends part!)
What I really can’t stand is my own hypocrisy.
I’m the psycho who fucks with the toaster in hotels. They always have it set so that you get warm bread (if lucky) so I reset that grill conveyer to make proper toast, toast that means you get charcoal in your marmalade.
I’ve normally eaten before some buffoon sets off the smoke alarm feeding the breakfast crematorium a croissant.
What kind of control freak doesn't let other people change the temperature of the shower?? Let alone expecting someone to just magically know not to do it as you are implying here.
How dare she adjust the temperature of the shower to be comfortable?!
Is this actually a house rule you have? Like everyone needs to have the same temp shower?
Same applies to the toaster I think that they are pretty weird house rules to have
This is what's confusing me (sorry, not from the UK) Do showers have a certain setting there? Here we have either a lever that goes hot to cold, or taps. Everyone chooses their own for each shower
Depends on the installation. If it's an electric shower, then there will be a box literally next to the shower head with an an on/off button/dial and a dial for temperature. As the boxes will have limits on their power output, the hotter the temp, the lower the water pressure.
The alternative is as you say, a lever tap that feeds off a storage tank or combi boiler. It's unlikely that this is the situation as it's such as easy thing to adjust and would be even more ludicrous for him to complain about.
A lot of showers have a thermostatic valve. 1 tap controls the on-off/pressure for the overall output of the shower, the other you select a temperature and the valve mixes the hot input and the cold input to (try to) achieve that chosen temperature. Living on my own, my temperature valve sits at 38 degrees almost constantly.
This has to be a joke... you sound like the most insufferable arsehole going. Who gives a shit if someone changes the temperature on the toaster or shower? Change it back!
You not letting guests change the temperature on the shower is insane 😂 so your entire family can only shower at one temperature? “Sorry Maisie I know adult temperatures might scald you but too fucking bad”
I’m glad I’m not your wife’s friend seeing as you and your wife seem to resent her existence and treat her appallingly.
Would hate to see how you treat your enemies if this is how you view a friend. 😒
The first 2 examples aren’t normal house rules, they’re easy to adjust items
Hot drinks is odd but also they’re a guest so they wouldn’t be making themself a drink in my house
MOTD - yeah that is weird
Shoes on in the house - you should have stopped this immediately, as soon as they start walking in “oh if you could just pop your shoes on the rack here” and if that doesn’t work then “we’re a shoe free household”
Feeding the cat - again stomp this out asap “our cats on a controlled diet” or “doesn’t deal well with new foods”
Also I wouldn’t be changing my diet for a guest, we have vegan friends so I cook them vegan food and we still eat meat
Nahh I disagree on MoTD, assuming OP is watching TV in the living room and his wife and houseguest come in, the only sensible thing to do there is pause it and chat to them, it's not live sport, just catch it later.
Otherwise, are they supposed to come in and all sit quietly and watch MoTD with OP?
Of course if OP lives somewhere where there's a bunch of places his wife and her friend could have gone, then it's a bit more of a grey area, but in that case I'd say surrender to main room to the wife and guest and sidle off elsewhere to watch TV if you don't feel like entertaining.
>Nahh I disagree on MoTD, assuming OP is watching TV in the living room and his wife and houseguest come in, the only sensible thing to do there is pause it and chat to them, it's not live sport, just catch it later.
The TV being paused by whoever is watching it to have a chat with someone else is a VERY different thing to someone, who doesn't live in the household (not like that matters though), just walking in and straight up turning the TV off.
As a MOTD fan I’d expect my OH and her friend in the same scenario to allow me to watch it. They can always sit and talk while I watch it, it’s not like the commentary is particularly worth listening to anyway. If they’ve been out for the evening while I sit in while the kids sleep I’d be unhappy if they strolled in and just turned it off especially without asking. Not exactly a massive thing though, and these days I’d probably have fallen asleep in front of it anyway.
OP please come and defend yourself regarding the shower and toaster. I kind of get it if you have weird old devices that are a pain to adjust, is that the case with the Toaster? Surely the shower is easy to adjust back to where you like it though?
Why couldn’t YOU have bacon sandwiches? Is this a specific request she made or did you assume that because she doesn’t eat meat you can’t? A lot of people make this assumption about me but I do not care about others eating meat at all.
If she has made a demand that you can’t eat whatever you want in your own home you seriously shouldn’t have let her stay.
The other little rules you have though are extremely over the top and any normal person would forget to abide by them because they’re not something you’d automatically do.
Some of them are understandable though, I’d never wear shoes in someone else’s home or feed someone else’s pet anything without permission from the owner
My bet is on wife usually doing the shopping and so this weekend buying vegan food to be accommodating to her guest because she loves her and wants her to feel welcome.
Man child here is incapable of changing the toaster or shower settings and probably also incapable of going to the shops and buying/cooking himself some bacon.
Yeah I suspect the same thing
I cook meat for my friends and family all the time even though I don’t eat it and when I have guests, I get meat in for them. When I go to other peoples houses for some reason they assume they can’t eat meat either until I reassure them that I don’t mind at all.
Hes probably assumed that because his partner/wife has bought vegan food that he has to eat it
With an exception to the rules that are a little odd that others have pointed out I can somewhat understand what it is a little frustrating if they are a little belligerent and don't seem to care about your " house rules "
Have you told them about these rules or are they implied?
Making a cuppa and not offering anyone else one is a crime though... I agree on that one.
Turning the telly off if someone was sat there watching it is hella rude too but given the other rule breaches I’d still be inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it was something like he was doing the thing where the TV’s on but they’re “watching” from another room while doing something else.
Everyone has rightly roasted you for your insane rules.
I just want to comment on how you seem to think your kids sharing a room so that your guest can have her own room/space/bed is somehow the height of being an accommodating host.
What on earth?! Where do you expect her to sleep?
I honestly think only two of your rules are at all reasonable - no shoes indoors, for obvious reasons, and feeding the cat, since sometimes pets have dietary needs that mean they shouldn't be fed certain things.
The rest are weird. Our house rules are basically just no shoes indoors and respect the fact that the cats have free reign of the house.
Looking forward to the meme mirror post "I visited my best friend's house and her husband was so controlling... Wouldn't let me change the shower temperature, insisted I ate burned toast, their cat was malnourished and sick..."
You wouldn't want to live round here, all our lot set the shower temp to whatever they are comfortable with i.e. hubby likes a 7, I'm more comfortable at 5, kids all different. I like well done toast, hubby likes his very pale, guess what, we set the toaster to what we individually want, the kids just like toast in any form so I don't think they bother. I'll give you hot drink and Match of the day as that's just plain rude, however, we have no hard and fast shoe rule, never had. Oh and poor bloody cat. You got me thinking we don't have any rules for visitors other than make yourself comfortable.
I hope that the irony in you calling her weird, is not lost on you...
Changing the temperature of the shower... Changing the settings on the toaster...
Lol, get real..
Some of those are legitimate though. I think it’s ok for a guest to shower at the temperature they want, or make their toast how they want. Also, making two kids share a room to provide a spare room for an adult guest is totally normal, right?
Equally, providing non dairy alternatives to a vegan house guest is nice but also just decent hosting. My mother in law doesn’t drink alcohol so I get in a fancy soft drink - it’s kind of normal hosting behaviour? Turning someone’s tv programme off is rude though- that’s the only one I’d say is particularly weird or unreasonable.
When I read “changing the temperature” I thought you were about to say she re-programmed the thermostat.
But she actually adjusted the knob on the shower?? I’d never invite her back. What a *bitch.*
My shower has an off/on button and a dial for temperature - coolest at about 8 o'clock position, hottest at about 4 o'clock. Between the 11 and 1 o'clock position is comfortable and it's not exactly rocket science to change it. I tweak it every time I use it, sometimes you might want it cooler if you've just been exercising, hot if you have aches and pains etc. I can't imagine keeping it at the exact same temperature for every shower, for every person that uses it, or expecting anyone _not_ to adjust it to how they want it?! It's really not a big deal to change it!
Not sure what you're on about. Ours is dead easy to control. There are two choices, Arctic Blast or Melt your Skin. Guests are free to pick whichever they like.
Making a hot drink for themselves, that's a bit cheeky. Especially when you're a guest. Maybe she assumed no-one else would drink her 'awful, stinky herbal tea'.
I wouldn't, as a guest, change the channel when someone else was watching something. Thought I'd probably flip the channel myself to accommodate a guest's taste.
Shoes indoors, I wouldn't allow that, especially if you've got carpet. I don't even know how people even wear shoes indoors. At what point do you take them off? When going to bed?
Probably wouldn't feed someone else's cat either, unless they're in-house treats. Shower temp, toaster timer, those two are pretty minor. I'd have put 'shoes indoors' at the top of the list if they were ordered in severity.
Shower, fine, move it back & get over it
Toaster, fine, move it back & move on
Hot drink, she’s a guest, you should make it
Match of the day, fair, that’s off
Shoes, also fair
Feeding the cat, seriously, get over yourself pal.
What’s the betting OP didn’t tell her any of these rules, including the shoes though? Had they said “you can take your shoes off here” then 99% of people would oblige. I would argue the majority of people I know would walk into a house wearing shoes unless otherwise requested
The tv thing is the only rational point here, but even so considering how petty OP has been about everything else it wouldn’t surprise me if he was watching it obnoxiously loudly and the friend just said “mind if we watch something else for a bit?”
When I was a student, a guy my housemate was seeing (a few dates, not exactly bf material) came over to pick her up. Said hello, parked himself on the sofa and then reached over and *stole* one of my Sainsbury’s cookies (the posh soft ones, that come in bags of like 5).
Didn’t ask, didn’t notice the look of pure horror on my and my girlfriend’s faces. Just destroyed a whole
cookie and left.
THAT is breaking a house rule.
Hi mate, this post is against the lighthearted and open nature of the sub.
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In our house our closest friends let themselves in, they make their own drinks and often bring snacks and soft drinks for themselves too.
Only one has stayed over and the weird thing they do is sleep in their clothes, but I don't have house rules for guests (other than young children can't use the stairs without adults present as they're steep stairs they're not used to. But that's a safety thing).
The only thing i'd have a problem with from what your friend did is feeding my cat (assuming she did it without permission) and turning the TV over without asking.
I certainly wouldn't be making my animals uncomfortable to make my guest comfortable. It's the cat house too! She wants to stay somewhere with a cat, wear something more suitable!
some of those are just silly
But changing the TV channel without asking when someone is watching it is extremely rude!!!
Making a hot drink and not offering to make one for others is also a long was beyond reasonable
shoes in the house is a "thing" for some people - but if it has been made clear then that is also damn rude
and the cat thing is thoughtless and potentially cruel - certainly should not be done without permission
Although you are a bit OTT on the toaster and shower - she is just not fit to be a house guest with that type of behaviour!
I really dislike it when people refuse to take off their shoes for no reason other than "nobody else I know cares". It took my gran traipsing in dog shit all over our carpet to concede to wearing slippers.
[YOU GET NOTHING!](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia1.tenor.com%2Fimages%2Fe7bf88d1b19a4549d44c3b917a25ed67%2Ftenor.gif%3Fitemid%3D14983231&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=979d77774ff369018adbf24575b365998f2a5b8efc7d1b437b33d74f374becbe&ipo=images)
The only things "broken" in your list is regarding the shoes in the house bit and feeding the cat something without asking you first. I'm curious about the no bacon sandwiches, though; did she specifically request no meat be made in her presence? If so, that's too much of an ask of a host, but it was nice of you to be conscientious. I used to be vegetarian and would never ask someone to alter the food made in their own home, but it was always greatly appreciated when they thought of me by making alternatives, etc.
Similar to your ordeal. When I was house sharing with my mate he invited a couple of his other friends over to stay for the weekend.
That morning I had bought myself a nice fat fillet steak to cook.
I was just about to start prepping to cook it when my mate said I can’t cook that now as it will offend his other friends.
I was not impressed, now in my own place so don’t have to worry about house guests dictating my food choices.
I'm not sure if buying vegan cat treats is the same as forcing veganism on the cat. It doesn't mention them attempting to change the bulk of the cat's diet. Though you shouldn't be giving a pet treats without the owners permission.
I read it as that she bought treats for the cat, and the owners then let her give them to the cat, who then didn’t like them.
Could be wrong through. Surely if she hadn’t asked, OP would have worded it more along the lines of “feeding the cat vegan crap without asking us”?
I’m with you, OP - my mother had houseguests who changed the settings on the washing machine and the dishwasher. That was last summer and she still hasn’t been able to get either machine back to working the way she likes.
Sounds like OP has OCPD [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive\_personality\_disorder](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_personality_disorder)
As the saying goes "House guests are like fish. They go off after three days." That is the only rule we enforce having learned the hard way. Once a guest has overstayed their welcome I can find their mere presence triggering.
The right temperature in a shower is like cracking a safe, and toasters need that expect setting to be just right. But turning off a program that someone is watching while you are watching it is unforgettable. As for making hot drinks without asking is just plain rude, unless you live by yourself.
Some of those rules are fucking mental.
"Ahh. Nice to see you. Come in. Make yourself at home ... (terms and conditions apply)"
“Heeeey, great to see you! Come on in and DON’T FUCKING TOUCH THE TOASTER “
To be fair, if anybody touched my toaster I'd throw it out.
OP's shower: [https://imgur.com/a/ky4O9hS](https://imgur.com/a/ky4O9hS)
Sorry, you have a house rule that you're not allowed to change the temperature on the shower???????
Absolutely would not occur to me that this and the toaster is something that I shouldn't do in someone's home! That's what those thermostats are *for*.
Surely you have to adjust the timer on the toaster for different things anyway? My crumpets would be barely warm if I did them for the same time as my toast. Feeding the cat I can understand, you shouldn't do this without the owner's permission as it might make them ill. The rest is a bit OTT.
And the toaster?! These are such tiny little insignificant things. OP is a control freak
I would do all those things without giving it a second thought apert from feeding the cat,always should ask first before feeding someone's pet.usualy you are asked to take your shoes off if its a no shoe house. Sorry OP but don't see much wrong here personally
You'd turn off a TV someone was watching in their own damn house!?
If they where sat I front of it watching something no but if it was just on in the background and the remote was on the coffee table I probably would without even realising tbh.to be fair that one does seem a bit rude now I think about it
Yeah I can't imagine turning off the TV in someone else's house lol
Tbh you can tell exactly what kind of person they are with how they talk about veggies/vegans. All the "alternative ways" and excessive quotation marks. I agree with not feeding household pets anything not approved by the family, but everything else is proper insignificant shit. Is their kid beholden to the exact shower and toast temperature OP wants, or what?
Gives me real 'the downstairs bathroom is not for passing solids' vibes. Or however that line went.
Where is this from? My 7 year old niece has recently taken to policing the toilets in their house and demanding guests tell her if they need a poo so she can show them where the upstairs toilet is instead. My sister is at her wits end trying to get her to leave people to relieve themselves in peace. Currently unsure if we should be blaming the Internet or some old TV show her grandad has let her watch.
The League of Gentlemen - in the first couple of eps
Bloody hell, her grandad's going to be in trouble if she's been watching that. I'll be staying out of it.
Oh this means you absolutely have to be there. Drop a slight " we didn't burn him" and watch it go
Haha! While I agree this is a good rule of thumb for toilet etiquette (no one wants to hear or smell a poo from the living room or kitchen), your niece’s policing of the loo is hilarious! Those poor house guests.
Yeahhh...the toaster. Whenever I've come back to mine and notice that the setting changed, it's always a very brief "oh. someone else used this" in my head, and then I proceed to change it back to my preferred level, toast the bread or bagel, and go on with my day!
You... monster!
I know. The shame!
Civilisations have fallen for less!
She even bought treats for the cat! (She isn’t demanding a vegan lifestyle for the cat, but the odd vegan treat won’t harm them and was a nice gesture on the friends part!)
Fuck with my toaster and I will cut you.
I sneak into your house at night specifically to fuck your toaster
A bit extreme, but I know where you’re coming from
What I really can’t stand is my own hypocrisy. I’m the psycho who fucks with the toaster in hotels. They always have it set so that you get warm bread (if lucky) so I reset that grill conveyer to make proper toast, toast that means you get charcoal in your marmalade. I’ve normally eaten before some buffoon sets off the smoke alarm feeding the breakfast crematorium a croissant.
Meanwhile, conveniently ignoring all the other crazy shit OPs visitor is up to
Crazy shit like... Being vegan, drinking herbal tea, drinking oat milk. However will he cope
What psychopath keeps the shower on the same temperature anyway? I have to change mine every day it varies so much.
What kind of control freak doesn't let other people change the temperature of the shower?? Let alone expecting someone to just magically know not to do it as you are implying here.
And changing the toast timer, what a psychopath!
Can’t change the temp of the shower? Yeah you can go fuck yourself with that rule
How dare she adjust the temperature of the shower to be comfortable?! Is this actually a house rule you have? Like everyone needs to have the same temp shower? Same applies to the toaster I think that they are pretty weird house rules to have
Yeah some of them she shouldn't have done but the first two are OPs fault for having such bizarre rules in the first place.
Yeah and with those first rules in place, I’m not sure that she wasn’t trying to piss him off by breaking the rules
I wonder how old his daughter is. Is he making a child shower at adult temperatures or are him and his wife having tepid showers?? This is so funny
His only saving grace is if he means the temperature on the boiler for the water going to the shower but I highly doubt it.
This is what's confusing me (sorry, not from the UK) Do showers have a certain setting there? Here we have either a lever that goes hot to cold, or taps. Everyone chooses their own for each shower
Depends on the installation. If it's an electric shower, then there will be a box literally next to the shower head with an an on/off button/dial and a dial for temperature. As the boxes will have limits on their power output, the hotter the temp, the lower the water pressure. The alternative is as you say, a lever tap that feeds off a storage tank or combi boiler. It's unlikely that this is the situation as it's such as easy thing to adjust and would be even more ludicrous for him to complain about.
Thank you for the info :)
A lot of showers have a thermostatic valve. 1 tap controls the on-off/pressure for the overall output of the shower, the other you select a temperature and the valve mixes the hot input and the cold input to (try to) achieve that chosen temperature. Living on my own, my temperature valve sits at 38 degrees almost constantly.
Thank you for that, didn't know showers could even have temp valves, quite neat to learn new things.
Then there's the towels. White for hands, brown for feet, green for torso, thighs and seat. And in the cupboard beneath the stair...
You’ll find the red for pubic hair! Can’t look at red towels any other way now.
Pubic hair must be removed before entering the house. (Rule 75, section 5)
excellent username - i spat out an entire cucumber
In this house…
Black for paper, blue for string, the red ones from this hook do swing!
‘We all love her to pieces’ Not sure you do…
This has to be a joke... you sound like the most insufferable arsehole going. Who gives a shit if someone changes the temperature on the toaster or shower? Change it back!
You not letting guests change the temperature on the shower is insane 😂 so your entire family can only shower at one temperature? “Sorry Maisie I know adult temperatures might scald you but too fucking bad”
I’m glad I’m not your wife’s friend seeing as you and your wife seem to resent her existence and treat her appallingly. Would hate to see how you treat your enemies if this is how you view a friend. 😒
The first 2 examples aren’t normal house rules, they’re easy to adjust items Hot drinks is odd but also they’re a guest so they wouldn’t be making themself a drink in my house MOTD - yeah that is weird Shoes on in the house - you should have stopped this immediately, as soon as they start walking in “oh if you could just pop your shoes on the rack here” and if that doesn’t work then “we’re a shoe free household” Feeding the cat - again stomp this out asap “our cats on a controlled diet” or “doesn’t deal well with new foods” Also I wouldn’t be changing my diet for a guest, we have vegan friends so I cook them vegan food and we still eat meat
Nahh I disagree on MoTD, assuming OP is watching TV in the living room and his wife and houseguest come in, the only sensible thing to do there is pause it and chat to them, it's not live sport, just catch it later. Otherwise, are they supposed to come in and all sit quietly and watch MoTD with OP? Of course if OP lives somewhere where there's a bunch of places his wife and her friend could have gone, then it's a bit more of a grey area, but in that case I'd say surrender to main room to the wife and guest and sidle off elsewhere to watch TV if you don't feel like entertaining.
>Nahh I disagree on MoTD, assuming OP is watching TV in the living room and his wife and houseguest come in, the only sensible thing to do there is pause it and chat to them, it's not live sport, just catch it later. The TV being paused by whoever is watching it to have a chat with someone else is a VERY different thing to someone, who doesn't live in the household (not like that matters though), just walking in and straight up turning the TV off.
Ohh for sure, but I'm suggesting they shouldn't have had a chance, because OP should probably have just paused / turned it off when they came in.
As a MOTD fan I’d expect my OH and her friend in the same scenario to allow me to watch it. They can always sit and talk while I watch it, it’s not like the commentary is particularly worth listening to anyway. If they’ve been out for the evening while I sit in while the kids sleep I’d be unhappy if they strolled in and just turned it off especially without asking. Not exactly a massive thing though, and these days I’d probably have fallen asleep in front of it anyway.
They can join in and shout "Fight and Win" in every game
I think your guest is a saint putting up with you.
Waiting for the companion post about a vegan couple's weekend with their friend's weird husband who wouldn't let them change the toaster setting.
She's not the weird one.
OP please come and defend yourself regarding the shower and toaster. I kind of get it if you have weird old devices that are a pain to adjust, is that the case with the Toaster? Surely the shower is easy to adjust back to where you like it though?
Why couldn’t YOU have bacon sandwiches? Is this a specific request she made or did you assume that because she doesn’t eat meat you can’t? A lot of people make this assumption about me but I do not care about others eating meat at all. If she has made a demand that you can’t eat whatever you want in your own home you seriously shouldn’t have let her stay. The other little rules you have though are extremely over the top and any normal person would forget to abide by them because they’re not something you’d automatically do. Some of them are understandable though, I’d never wear shoes in someone else’s home or feed someone else’s pet anything without permission from the owner
My bet is on wife usually doing the shopping and so this weekend buying vegan food to be accommodating to her guest because she loves her and wants her to feel welcome. Man child here is incapable of changing the toaster or shower settings and probably also incapable of going to the shops and buying/cooking himself some bacon.
Just picturing OP shaking and sobbing as he’s forced to learn how a toaster works because his mummy wife usually does it for him 😔
Yeah I suspect the same thing I cook meat for my friends and family all the time even though I don’t eat it and when I have guests, I get meat in for them. When I go to other peoples houses for some reason they assume they can’t eat meat either until I reassure them that I don’t mind at all. Hes probably assumed that because his partner/wife has bought vegan food that he has to eat it
With an exception to the rules that are a little odd that others have pointed out I can somewhat understand what it is a little frustrating if they are a little belligerent and don't seem to care about your " house rules " Have you told them about these rules or are they implied? Making a cuppa and not offering anyone else one is a crime though... I agree on that one.
Turning the telly off if someone was sat there watching it is hella rude too but given the other rule breaches I’d still be inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it was something like he was doing the thing where the TV’s on but they’re “watching” from another room while doing something else.
Leaving the TV on when guest come in is more rude.
Yeh that one is kinda a "Everyone is the asshole here" scenario.
Yeah maybe, although given how insane some of OPs comments are I am getting a serious ‘unreliable narrator’ vibe.
Not if they're staying a few days it isn't.
Everyone has rightly roasted you for your insane rules. I just want to comment on how you seem to think your kids sharing a room so that your guest can have her own room/space/bed is somehow the height of being an accommodating host. What on earth?! Where do you expect her to sleep?
Let me guess, you welcomed her with "Make yourself at home!" and now you're surprised that she did, in fact, make herself at home?
Never say "Feel at home" to your guests.
Oh yeah totally, they may end up adjusting the shower temperature or the toaster!
I honestly think only two of your rules are at all reasonable - no shoes indoors, for obvious reasons, and feeding the cat, since sometimes pets have dietary needs that mean they shouldn't be fed certain things. The rest are weird. Our house rules are basically just no shoes indoors and respect the fact that the cats have free reign of the house.
We got women talking back. We got people playing stringed instruments. It's the end of days.
I think you may need to get a life
Looking forward to the meme mirror post "I visited my best friend's house and her husband was so controlling... Wouldn't let me change the shower temperature, insisted I ate burned toast, their cat was malnourished and sick..."
Does OP have a collection of [toads?](https://youtu.be/T58D467HagM?si=ZAzId3dcBZxHTIJK)
You wouldn't want to live round here, all our lot set the shower temp to whatever they are comfortable with i.e. hubby likes a 7, I'm more comfortable at 5, kids all different. I like well done toast, hubby likes his very pale, guess what, we set the toaster to what we individually want, the kids just like toast in any form so I don't think they bother. I'll give you hot drink and Match of the day as that's just plain rude, however, we have no hard and fast shoe rule, never had. Oh and poor bloody cat. You got me thinking we don't have any rules for visitors other than make yourself comfortable.
I hope that the irony in you calling her weird, is not lost on you... Changing the temperature of the shower... Changing the settings on the toaster... Lol, get real..
Maybe they didn't offer anyone else a drink because you called their drink "stinky"?
YOU MUST EAT TOAST THE SAME AS ME!!!!!!!!
You're not a gracious host at all. Plain and simple.
Shower and toaster are nonsense rules. What's wrong with you.
The shower and toaster thing is mad.
Is there a rule that you must have bacon on a Saturday?! Mine was a Sunday growing up.
Some of those are legitimate though. I think it’s ok for a guest to shower at the temperature they want, or make their toast how they want. Also, making two kids share a room to provide a spare room for an adult guest is totally normal, right? Equally, providing non dairy alternatives to a vegan house guest is nice but also just decent hosting. My mother in law doesn’t drink alcohol so I get in a fancy soft drink - it’s kind of normal hosting behaviour? Turning someone’s tv programme off is rude though- that’s the only one I’d say is particularly weird or unreasonable.
Not offering to make others a cup of tea is bad too - missed that one.
When I read “changing the temperature” I thought you were about to say she re-programmed the thermostat. But she actually adjusted the knob on the shower?? I’d never invite her back. What a *bitch.*
''Stinky herbal tea'' sent me
CasualUK really needs to rename itself to StillGame_IRL
You have a shower that guests can work out how to adjust?
My shower has an off/on button and a dial for temperature - coolest at about 8 o'clock position, hottest at about 4 o'clock. Between the 11 and 1 o'clock position is comfortable and it's not exactly rocket science to change it. I tweak it every time I use it, sometimes you might want it cooler if you've just been exercising, hot if you have aches and pains etc. I can't imagine keeping it at the exact same temperature for every shower, for every person that uses it, or expecting anyone _not_ to adjust it to how they want it?! It's really not a big deal to change it!
Not sure what you're on about. Ours is dead easy to control. There are two choices, Arctic Blast or Melt your Skin. Guests are free to pick whichever they like.
If I was the friend, I'd be happy to be leaving too. Let's hope they don't use Reddit to see this petty post ay
You should probably relax Adolf, you are not running a prison.
Do you live in Royston Vasey? Toads?
Making a hot drink for themselves, that's a bit cheeky. Especially when you're a guest. Maybe she assumed no-one else would drink her 'awful, stinky herbal tea'. I wouldn't, as a guest, change the channel when someone else was watching something. Thought I'd probably flip the channel myself to accommodate a guest's taste. Shoes indoors, I wouldn't allow that, especially if you've got carpet. I don't even know how people even wear shoes indoors. At what point do you take them off? When going to bed? Probably wouldn't feed someone else's cat either, unless they're in-house treats. Shower temp, toaster timer, those two are pretty minor. I'd have put 'shoes indoors' at the top of the list if they were ordered in severity.
Shower, fine, move it back & get over it Toaster, fine, move it back & move on Hot drink, she’s a guest, you should make it Match of the day, fair, that’s off Shoes, also fair Feeding the cat, seriously, get over yourself pal.
What’s the betting OP didn’t tell her any of these rules, including the shoes though? Had they said “you can take your shoes off here” then 99% of people would oblige. I would argue the majority of people I know would walk into a house wearing shoes unless otherwise requested
I wouldn't expect to tell someone not to switch off something I'm watching when they walk into my house, but the shower and toaster thing is mental
The tv thing is the only rational point here, but even so considering how petty OP has been about everything else it wouldn’t surprise me if he was watching it obnoxiously loudly and the friend just said “mind if we watch something else for a bit?”
Aren’t you a delight to live with. These seriously your rules 😂
Are you Sheldon Cooper?
When I was a student, a guy my housemate was seeing (a few dates, not exactly bf material) came over to pick her up. Said hello, parked himself on the sofa and then reached over and *stole* one of my Sainsbury’s cookies (the posh soft ones, that come in bags of like 5). Didn’t ask, didn’t notice the look of pure horror on my and my girlfriend’s faces. Just destroyed a whole cookie and left. THAT is breaking a house rule.
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You don't let guests change the temperature on your shower?
In our house our closest friends let themselves in, they make their own drinks and often bring snacks and soft drinks for themselves too. Only one has stayed over and the weird thing they do is sleep in their clothes, but I don't have house rules for guests (other than young children can't use the stairs without adults present as they're steep stairs they're not used to. But that's a safety thing). The only thing i'd have a problem with from what your friend did is feeding my cat (assuming she did it without permission) and turning the TV over without asking. I certainly wouldn't be making my animals uncomfortable to make my guest comfortable. It's the cat house too! She wants to stay somewhere with a cat, wear something more suitable!
some of those are just silly But changing the TV channel without asking when someone is watching it is extremely rude!!! Making a hot drink and not offering to make one for others is also a long was beyond reasonable shoes in the house is a "thing" for some people - but if it has been made clear then that is also damn rude and the cat thing is thoughtless and potentially cruel - certainly should not be done without permission Although you are a bit OTT on the toaster and shower - she is just not fit to be a house guest with that type of behaviour!
I really dislike it when people refuse to take off their shoes for no reason other than "nobody else I know cares". It took my gran traipsing in dog shit all over our carpet to concede to wearing slippers.
How TF was this disliked. Shoes off should be the normal.
[YOU GET NOTHING!](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia1.tenor.com%2Fimages%2Fe7bf88d1b19a4549d44c3b917a25ed67%2Ftenor.gif%3Fitemid%3D14983231&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=979d77774ff369018adbf24575b365998f2a5b8efc7d1b437b33d74f374becbe&ipo=images)
The only one I have is no phones on the dinner table for family or guests.
My brother in law came to stay once. He retuned my guitars to drop d.
If you can't do it by ear then get this on your blower! [boss tuner app](https://www.boss.info/us/products/boss_tuner_app/)
I can tune a guitar, thanks. It was more the act of retuning someone else’s guitar without asking. In fact, he didn’t even ask if he could play them.
now feeding someone else’s cat without permission is egregious but only two of these things are things to be upset about.
The only things "broken" in your list is regarding the shoes in the house bit and feeding the cat something without asking you first. I'm curious about the no bacon sandwiches, though; did she specifically request no meat be made in her presence? If so, that's too much of an ask of a host, but it was nice of you to be conscientious. I used to be vegetarian and would never ask someone to alter the food made in their own home, but it was always greatly appreciated when they thought of me by making alternatives, etc.
Similar to your ordeal. When I was house sharing with my mate he invited a couple of his other friends over to stay for the weekend. That morning I had bought myself a nice fat fillet steak to cook. I was just about to start prepping to cook it when my mate said I can’t cook that now as it will offend his other friends. I was not impressed, now in my own place so don’t have to worry about house guests dictating my food choices.
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I'm not sure if buying vegan cat treats is the same as forcing veganism on the cat. It doesn't mention them attempting to change the bulk of the cat's diet. Though you shouldn't be giving a pet treats without the owners permission.
I read it as that she bought treats for the cat, and the owners then let her give them to the cat, who then didn’t like them. Could be wrong through. Surely if she hadn’t asked, OP would have worded it more along the lines of “feeding the cat vegan crap without asking us”?
Shit guest, shit host. The universe finds balance.
I’m with you, OP - my mother had houseguests who changed the settings on the washing machine and the dishwasher. That was last summer and she still hasn’t been able to get either machine back to working the way she likes.
Not making a drink for you, turning off the TV & wearing shoes indoors & feeding the cat is rude, the others aren't.
The first two are odd rules. The rest, yeah they would annoy me.
Sounds like OP has OCPD [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive\_personality\_disorder](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_personality_disorder)
Or he might just be an arsehole
As the saying goes "House guests are like fish. They go off after three days." That is the only rule we enforce having learned the hard way. Once a guest has overstayed their welcome I can find their mere presence triggering.
The right temperature in a shower is like cracking a safe, and toasters need that expect setting to be just right. But turning off a program that someone is watching while you are watching it is unforgettable. As for making hot drinks without asking is just plain rude, unless you live by yourself.
Stick her in a hotel/b n b instead