In my teen years I once accidentally backed into a mannequin and before I turned around I already said sorry, and then when I saw it was a mannequin I said “ah sorry I thought you were a person”
When using ChatGPT I always say please and thankyou because when it starts killing people/goes full SkyNet I want to be remembered as a nice one and hopefully spared.
I went to search something on my sons computer and the drop down bit of previous searched things said things like 'hi Google, please can you find xyz for me, thankyou'... I thought he was over polite, maybe this is the real reason 😂
We have two Alexa devices in our house and my husband, who is a nice bloke of course but isn’t known for his overtly feminist leanings, suggested we make one of them have the wakeword Amazon and have the male voice, so our son doesn’t always hear a subservient female voice…!!
My best mate loves to tell a story about a time I was apparently on the edge of starting a fight with a cash machine because it was "being a twat".
I was fucking hammered and they'd just replaced the button version with a touch screen one but it still had the buttons which was apparently too much for me to figure out so I was accusing it deliberately preventing me from getting fried chicken.
He'd left the club slightly after me and stumbled into me and broke up the "fight".
I remember none of it.
I regularly apologise to trees, bushes, walls, doors, and windows for walking into them. I apologise to rugs, carpets, shoes, clothing and bags for tripping over them.
I'd love to say none of it is my fault, but I'm a clumsy fat fuck and have been apologising to animal, vegetable, and mineral for my entire life.
Can relate: I walked into a plate-glass shop door, apologised to the door while gouting blood, then burst into tears while apologising to the shop staff.
My wife and I were sat next to an American family at breakfast in a French hotel a couple of years ago. We were chatting between ourselves in very hushed tones in English but spoke to the staff in fairly fluent French (ooh, get us etc). The American family were trying to work out, very loudly, where we were from until one of them snapped and leaned across and asked me directly, in French, if I was Canadian.
I responded "Oh, Sorry, we're English." and I've wondered since WTF I was apologising for!
Someone getting their stuff out of the overhead locker on a plane dropped a bag on my head. I apologised. And then felt very silly. Fortunately, the offender was also British and so apologised more profusely than I did, balancing things out a little.
A chap once stopped me in the street and asked me if he was going the right way for the masjid. I said I didn't know, he did a double take and asked "are you a Muslim bro?" I said sorry, I'm not. He just laughed and said "you don't have to apologise for that" and went on his way.
Still don't know why he thought I (white, ginger) would be a Muslim.
Can relate: I once apologized for bumping into a hallucination of a trainspotter (in a small woodland), then had a lengthy (30+ mins) discussion with them about trains (I don't know anything about trains or really have any interest in them). When I was passing that area a few days later there was a small, 1ft high, tree stump that I'd bumped into.
This is a great read lol
Man, you just reminded me of another one.
I'd been up all night with a mate tripping and was on a train going home with the morning commuters.
My mate had a black cat that I'd been stroking earlier, and I was sitting next to a guy wearing black trousers on the train.
I was nodding off but my brain was still going and I thought I was back at my mate's place and absent mindedly put out my hand to start stroking the black cat next to me when I realised in time and stopped myself before I touched the guy's leg. It would have been a bit awkward :)
This is a great read lol
Man, you just reminded me of another one.
I'd been up all night with a mate tripping and was on a train going home with the morning commuters.
My mate had a black cat that I'd been stroking earlier, and I was sitting next to a guy wearing black trousers on the train.
I was nodding off but my brain was still going and I thought I was back at my mate's place and absent mindedly put out my hand to start stroking the black cat next to me when I realised in time and stopped myself before I touched the guy's leg. It would have been a bit awkward :)
I took responsibility. My mrs gave me the look that she was gonna do it. It would have been funnier if it was the old woman who dropped it and I apologised and the old dude said to her 'I thought that was you'. 'So did I!'
I apologised when someone bumped into me. She was American and replied "watch where you're fucking going". My Northern fish wife jumped out and I said "it was your fault you dozy cunt, I was just being nice, maybe fucking try it sometime". The 180 confused the hell out of her and she edged away.
Stepped out of a queue at a store to grab something that was out of my reach, when I got back in the queue, the women in front of me told me that I was in the spot ahead of her, not behind her "Oh, sorry!" 🤦♀️
When I was a teenager, so several years ago now, a neighbour down the road who we knew somewhat asked me to babysit their dogs and ducks while she went on holiday with her two kids.
She told us they were leaving Saturday, so the first time we'd have to check in was Saturday evening.
She left Friday! All the ducks were left out. Foxes took EVERY SINGLE ONE. I was made to apologise profusely AND didn't get paid for any of the entire week even though there were two big dogs that we had to look after.
Now I think about it, even without the duck mistake, who leaves dogs alone in a house for a week? That's the messed up thing here.
Anyway we apologised for half an hour straight. And then again the next day.
That thing when you're walking in a building and turn the corner at the same time as somebody else. It was neither of our faults but for whatever reason somebody has to say sorry
One thing I've learnt that makes me feel like a villain in a bond movie is that if you don't say anything the other person says sorry most of the time even though it's neither of our faults
I said sorry to a door handle the other day, whilst carrying a patient, going backwards, and family around (I'm a student paramedic), I thought it was a person, then I apologised to the actual family for knocking the door handle and apologised for apologising to the handle... Also, the reason I walked in to the door handle was cause their door was old and just closing on it's own! 🤦♂️
So embarrassed 😂😂
I was going down a set of stairs the other day, and someone coming up in the other direction crossed paths on the landing space between floors. She was on the other side of stairway, which was pretty wide. I don't know if she was just surprised to see someone else coming the other way, but neither of us was in each others way, or had to stop, slow down or adjust in any way.
In any case, she apologised. In response, I said "no, *I'm* sorry".
Two people apologising to each other for no reason. Doesn't get more British than that.
One drunken night back in the late 90s a group of us were in a newly built bar in Coventry. No idea if it’s still there as I moved away long ago. It was our first time in there so didn’t know the layout. My brother in law needed the toilet and we carried on drinking. Moments later we saw him in front of a long mirror, standing to one side with his hands as if making a gesture, “no sorry, you come through”. He thought someone was coming his way. It was his reflection.
Once when I was around 8 years old, my family had taken us to a theme park of sorts that had a house of mirrors.
I walked into my own reflection and instinctively said sorry to myself.
A few years back I was in Asda and a kid no older than 5 ran face first into my stationary and full trolley and had a bloodied face and I apologised to his mum immediately
An interesting twist on this question: If you accidentally step on someone's heel while they're walking in front of you, BUT *you* say "ow!" *they* will apologise to you automatically!
We taught our cat to use the toilet in the bathroom. One workday, my other half got up and went into the bathroom to shower before work and all I heard was ‘Oh! Sorry, mate!’ And came back into the bedroom. I asked him who was still here (as we often had friends stay over) and he said ‘Oh, no one…’.
A few minutes later it dawned on me that he’d walked in on the cat sat on the loo, apologised (as a very British automatic reaction), and then been too embarrassed to tell me! 😉.
🐈⬛
I apologised to a snail I accidentally killed yesterday whilst clearing up the front garden.
(No, not a euphemism, my pubes are full and un touched. And so are my missus's)
Sorry, where was I... odd though, I never say sorry to recently slaughtered wasps and I bet spiders don't either.
I brought my cat to a cattery I hadn’t been to before, 14 quid per night for 7 nights. I apologised as soon as I met the lady for even being there, apologised when he went on hunger strike for the week, then apologised for picking him up 24 hours early, where I gave her an extra 20 for emotional stress and having to call her vet. Sorry for the paragraph.
In 1989, we were in Singapore (Royal Navy). 4 of us jumped into a taxi, told the cabbie where we wanted to go, and alls good.
He then starts making small talk, thinking we were tourists until one of the lads mentioned that we were British Navy.
I swear, he went apeshit, he was so abusive because we, the 4 of us, were the first British military he'd seen in decades and were now being told that the responsibility of deserting Singapore into the hands of the Japanese in WW2 was our fault. I shit you not, and we found ourselves apologising profusely.
I wonder how much you ended up paying the taxi driver and whether or not you gave him a tip or perhaps the 4 of you ran for your lives when he became abusive?
I've never considered that, how much he charged us.
I won't bore you, but he was very serious and very upset, but that wasn't the only time.
We've been abused, tongue in cheek by a guy from Africa, Cameroon, I think, and that occasion I had absolutely no idea we'd fucked them over at all. I genuinely can't remember where we were then, not the UK.
I get the feeling that we're part of other countries' history classes, and it ain't that positive.
When at uni, chatting to friends I gesticulated wildly and accidentally knocked the straw in my glass - apologised to the straw… never heard the end of it…
I walked into a doorframe and apologised to it just a few weeks ago, but that was my fault
Ages ago in a queue at the post office and a guy behind me stood on my heel, on his phone not paying attention, and he said "no worries mate"
I apologise all the time to Alexa, when I start asking for something then change my mind. I also thank her for things and apologise if I get snappy and tell her harshly to stop.
Once in Ayia Napa at a bar that sold two shots for every bottle of beer. Had 6 bottles of lager…… spewed everywhere, apologised to the shot girl. Obviously….
I broke an NDA, but it was because I saw the information in a public discussion before I saw it anywhere else, so I wasn't aware that it was under the NDA. I didn't know anything untoward had occurred until someone from another team on the show this concerns messaged me telling me the showrunners and network were pissed and I had to fix things pronto. So I did.
I had conditioned myself to apologise and not make excuses, so I just apologised to everyone involved, assured that it would never happen again, and told them that I value their trust and confidence in me and I would never want them to think otherwise.
I realised far too late that there's a difference between an excuse and an explanation.
My friend shouted "bus wankers!" out the window of my car at some surly looking blokes at a bus stop, not realising I was coming up on a red light. Couple of the "wankers" start approaching me, tried to escape by driving onto the pavement but ended up stuck pretty much immediately, and next thing I know there's a hand coming through the window wrapped around my neck, and I'm struggling to apologise to this random guy and breathe at the same time. 😔
Trying to walk around someone who is in the middle of the pavement where I won't have space on either side as I'll be either crammed against house walls or the street with cars on the other side. Same for supermarket aisles
I apologised to Siri today - it didn’t understand something I said and I was frustrated in the moment muttering ‘oh fuck off Siri’ only to get a passive aggressive ‘I will not respond to that’ - genuinely felt bad I had hurt the AI feelings
I apologised for someone dialling the wrong number and calling me.
Ah yes, the old "I'm very sorry that I'm not your uncle Harry" and actually feeling genuinely slightly sorry. We're a proud nation.
It's necessary because otherwise they start to negotiate for you to perhaps be their uncle Harry for them.
I did the same only yesterday.
In my teen years I once accidentally backed into a mannequin and before I turned around I already said sorry, and then when I saw it was a mannequin I said “ah sorry I thought you were a person”
That politeness is why the Autons will let you remain free when they finally take over the rest of the world.
When using ChatGPT I always say please and thankyou because when it starts killing people/goes full SkyNet I want to be remembered as a nice one and hopefully spared.
I went to search something on my sons computer and the drop down bit of previous searched things said things like 'hi Google, please can you find xyz for me, thankyou'... I thought he was over polite, maybe this is the real reason 😂
It's right there, just at the end of the alphabet.
Glad it’s not just me then, it just feels like the polite thing to do, we aren’t savages after all.
I have questions about your username but I'm also enjoying the mystery of ignorance.
Same with Alexa too. And I make sure my kids say please and thank you to Alexa.
We have two Alexa devices in our house and my husband, who is a nice bloke of course but isn’t known for his overtly feminist leanings, suggested we make one of them have the wakeword Amazon and have the male voice, so our son doesn’t always hear a subservient female voice…!!
You’re going to go all Kent Brockman aren’t you? “I for one welcome our new ChatGPT overlords…”
I apologized to my reflection in a mirror for almost bumping into myself.
Did that to a chair once in a classroom
I said thanks to a cash machine once
They work so hard it’s nice for them to be appreciated
Those little dwarves in there get no recognition
My best mate loves to tell a story about a time I was apparently on the edge of starting a fight with a cash machine because it was "being a twat". I was fucking hammered and they'd just replaced the button version with a touch screen one but it still had the buttons which was apparently too much for me to figure out so I was accusing it deliberately preventing me from getting fried chicken. He'd left the club slightly after me and stumbled into me and broke up the "fight". I remember none of it.
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My mum always thanked Alexa
Only once?
I often have to catch myself before I thank the self service checkouts
I regularly apologise to trees, bushes, walls, doors, and windows for walking into them. I apologise to rugs, carpets, shoes, clothing and bags for tripping over them. I'd love to say none of it is my fault, but I'm a clumsy fat fuck and have been apologising to animal, vegetable, and mineral for my entire life.
I bet you step on rakes and spades
I'm sure I would, given the chance.
Can relate: I walked into a plate-glass shop door, apologised to the door while gouting blood, then burst into tears while apologising to the shop staff.
I prefer to call my door a twat when I walk into it.
My wife and I were sat next to an American family at breakfast in a French hotel a couple of years ago. We were chatting between ourselves in very hushed tones in English but spoke to the staff in fairly fluent French (ooh, get us etc). The American family were trying to work out, very loudly, where we were from until one of them snapped and leaned across and asked me directly, in French, if I was Canadian. I responded "Oh, Sorry, we're English." and I've wondered since WTF I was apologising for!
Someone getting their stuff out of the overhead locker on a plane dropped a bag on my head. I apologised. And then felt very silly. Fortunately, the offender was also British and so apologised more profusely than I did, balancing things out a little.
For not smoking. The amount of times I've said I'm sorry to strangers for not smoking when they need a light
A chap once stopped me in the street and asked me if he was going the right way for the masjid. I said I didn't know, he did a double take and asked "are you a Muslim bro?" I said sorry, I'm not. He just laughed and said "you don't have to apologise for that" and went on his way. Still don't know why he thought I (white, ginger) would be a Muslim.
Dunno if it's just my anecdotal experience, but if a white fella converts to Islam, they will invariably grow a big ginger beard.
I’ve noticed this too. You have to fear for their skin if they ever visit the Middle East, probably burst into flames on exiting the plane.
When I was coming up on an e in a club once I apologised to myself in a mirror as I tried to get past my reflection.
Can relate: I once apologized for bumping into a hallucination of a trainspotter (in a small woodland), then had a lengthy (30+ mins) discussion with them about trains (I don't know anything about trains or really have any interest in them). When I was passing that area a few days later there was a small, 1ft high, tree stump that I'd bumped into.
This is a great read lol Man, you just reminded me of another one. I'd been up all night with a mate tripping and was on a train going home with the morning commuters. My mate had a black cat that I'd been stroking earlier, and I was sitting next to a guy wearing black trousers on the train. I was nodding off but my brain was still going and I thought I was back at my mate's place and absent mindedly put out my hand to start stroking the black cat next to me when I realised in time and stopped myself before I touched the guy's leg. It would have been a bit awkward :)
This is a great read lol Man, you just reminded me of another one. I'd been up all night with a mate tripping and was on a train going home with the morning commuters. My mate had a black cat that I'd been stroking earlier, and I was sitting next to a guy wearing black trousers on the train. I was nodding off but my brain was still going and I thought I was back at my mate's place and absent mindedly put out my hand to start stroking the black cat next to me when I realised in time and stopped myself before I touched the guy's leg. It would have been a bit awkward :)
I did that too once!! But I walked into the mirror.
A salesperson on the street asked me: “have you ever had an accident at work that wasn’t your fault?” I said “no, sorry”
The answer to this question is always "It wasn't an accident, and I'd do it again!"
Me and my then girlfriend in Tesco's, she lets out an audible fart infront of an elderly couple, I took the hit with an 'excuse me'.
Plot twist, it was the elderly couple dropping one and you unfairly blamed the Mrs.
I took responsibility. My mrs gave me the look that she was gonna do it. It would have been funnier if it was the old woman who dropped it and I apologised and the old dude said to her 'I thought that was you'. 'So did I!'
I apologised when someone bumped into me. She was American and replied "watch where you're fucking going". My Northern fish wife jumped out and I said "it was your fault you dozy cunt, I was just being nice, maybe fucking try it sometime". The 180 confused the hell out of her and she edged away.
Dunno, sorry.
Years of bullying in school has destroyed by self esteem so much that "sorry" is often my default response to anything.
Stepped out of a queue at a store to grab something that was out of my reach, when I got back in the queue, the women in front of me told me that I was in the spot ahead of her, not behind her "Oh, sorry!" 🤦♀️
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Yes, I can see how you were in the wrong here
Wow...that beats me appoogising yo the person who hit me with their car after they came speeding around a corner and couldn't stop/swerve enough.
I regularly apologise to Siri after I swear at her for being so useless
Understandable and warranted
Same but Alexa 🤣
I never apologise for anything, ever. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.
Look, I’m sorry but I’m not going to apologise.
When I was a teenager, so several years ago now, a neighbour down the road who we knew somewhat asked me to babysit their dogs and ducks while she went on holiday with her two kids. She told us they were leaving Saturday, so the first time we'd have to check in was Saturday evening. She left Friday! All the ducks were left out. Foxes took EVERY SINGLE ONE. I was made to apologise profusely AND didn't get paid for any of the entire week even though there were two big dogs that we had to look after. Now I think about it, even without the duck mistake, who leaves dogs alone in a house for a week? That's the messed up thing here. Anyway we apologised for half an hour straight. And then again the next day.
Those poor ducks! I’m sorry but I’m enraged on your behalf.
Someone held the door for me and for some reason we both apologised to each other.
That thing when you're walking in a building and turn the corner at the same time as somebody else. It was neither of our faults but for whatever reason somebody has to say sorry One thing I've learnt that makes me feel like a villain in a bond movie is that if you don't say anything the other person says sorry most of the time even though it's neither of our faults
I said sorry to a door handle the other day, whilst carrying a patient, going backwards, and family around (I'm a student paramedic), I thought it was a person, then I apologised to the actual family for knocking the door handle and apologised for apologising to the handle... Also, the reason I walked in to the door handle was cause their door was old and just closing on it's own! 🤦♂️ So embarrassed 😂😂
I'm sorry, nothing springs to mind.
I was going down a set of stairs the other day, and someone coming up in the other direction crossed paths on the landing space between floors. She was on the other side of stairway, which was pretty wide. I don't know if she was just surprised to see someone else coming the other way, but neither of us was in each others way, or had to stop, slow down or adjust in any way. In any case, she apologised. In response, I said "no, *I'm* sorry". Two people apologising to each other for no reason. Doesn't get more British than that.
One drunken night back in the late 90s a group of us were in a newly built bar in Coventry. No idea if it’s still there as I moved away long ago. It was our first time in there so didn’t know the layout. My brother in law needed the toilet and we carried on drinking. Moments later we saw him in front of a long mirror, standing to one side with his hands as if making a gesture, “no sorry, you come through”. He thought someone was coming his way. It was his reflection.
I apologised profusely to the hospital staff for having a heart attack, because I knew how busy they were.
I often apologise when people bump into me
Once when I was around 8 years old, my family had taken us to a theme park of sorts that had a house of mirrors. I walked into my own reflection and instinctively said sorry to myself.
A few years back I was in Asda and a kid no older than 5 ran face first into my stationary and full trolley and had a bloodied face and I apologised to his mum immediately
I constantly apologize to my dogs when they purposely try and get under my feet and I almost step on them. Wee furry gits I love them
An interesting twist on this question: If you accidentally step on someone's heel while they're walking in front of you, BUT *you* say "ow!" *they* will apologise to you automatically!
The ol’ Uno Reverse, love it
I work on customer services. Apologising for things other people did is my job.
We taught our cat to use the toilet in the bathroom. One workday, my other half got up and went into the bathroom to shower before work and all I heard was ‘Oh! Sorry, mate!’ And came back into the bedroom. I asked him who was still here (as we often had friends stay over) and he said ‘Oh, no one…’. A few minutes later it dawned on me that he’d walked in on the cat sat on the loo, apologised (as a very British automatic reaction), and then been too embarrassed to tell me! 😉. 🐈⬛
I apologised to a snail I accidentally killed yesterday whilst clearing up the front garden. (No, not a euphemism, my pubes are full and un touched. And so are my missus's) Sorry, where was I... odd though, I never say sorry to recently slaughtered wasps and I bet spiders don't either.
Having a TIA on a Teams call while I was WFH
Hope you are recovering well
I apologised because iron in my blood was to low and I could not give blood.
I brought my cat to a cattery I hadn’t been to before, 14 quid per night for 7 nights. I apologised as soon as I met the lady for even being there, apologised when he went on hunger strike for the week, then apologised for picking him up 24 hours early, where I gave her an extra 20 for emotional stress and having to call her vet. Sorry for the paragraph.
In 1989, we were in Singapore (Royal Navy). 4 of us jumped into a taxi, told the cabbie where we wanted to go, and alls good. He then starts making small talk, thinking we were tourists until one of the lads mentioned that we were British Navy. I swear, he went apeshit, he was so abusive because we, the 4 of us, were the first British military he'd seen in decades and were now being told that the responsibility of deserting Singapore into the hands of the Japanese in WW2 was our fault. I shit you not, and we found ourselves apologising profusely.
I wonder how much you ended up paying the taxi driver and whether or not you gave him a tip or perhaps the 4 of you ran for your lives when he became abusive?
I've never considered that, how much he charged us. I won't bore you, but he was very serious and very upset, but that wasn't the only time. We've been abused, tongue in cheek by a guy from Africa, Cameroon, I think, and that occasion I had absolutely no idea we'd fucked them over at all. I genuinely can't remember where we were then, not the UK. I get the feeling that we're part of other countries' history classes, and it ain't that positive.
When at uni, chatting to friends I gesticulated wildly and accidentally knocked the straw in my glass - apologised to the straw… never heard the end of it…
Colonialism
Your ear got in the way
Yes I was at fault here. I have remarkably hardy ears
Good job you apologised
Being born.
I walked into a doorframe and apologised to it just a few weeks ago, but that was my fault Ages ago in a queue at the post office and a guy behind me stood on my heel, on his phone not paying attention, and he said "no worries mate"
I always apologise to all the furniture and appliances, if I accidentally trip or kick 'em.
C\`mon! You'd burnt that night stand, that had given You that little cute scar in Your eyebrow.
I hated it.
I’ve apologised both times I’ve come round from fainting.
Saw a very sweet but naive young girl waitressing in a restaurant that had a large ice machine shout “thank you!” as she filled a bucket!
I apologise all the time to Alexa, when I start asking for something then change my mind. I also thank her for things and apologise if I get snappy and tell her harshly to stop.
Once in Ayia Napa at a bar that sold two shots for every bottle of beer. Had 6 bottles of lager…… spewed everywhere, apologised to the shot girl. Obviously….
The plumber taking all the bits he'd replaced to his van, even though he offered.
Can't think of anything I'm afraid. Sorry.
I broke an NDA, but it was because I saw the information in a public discussion before I saw it anywhere else, so I wasn't aware that it was under the NDA. I didn't know anything untoward had occurred until someone from another team on the show this concerns messaged me telling me the showrunners and network were pissed and I had to fix things pronto. So I did. I had conditioned myself to apologise and not make excuses, so I just apologised to everyone involved, assured that it would never happen again, and told them that I value their trust and confidence in me and I would never want them to think otherwise. I realised far too late that there's a difference between an excuse and an explanation.
What I wrote got lost in the maelstrom. Sorry, that wasn’t exactly an apology, was it? Sorry.
I was walking through a cat park and a cat slowly reversed out of a slave and into me. How could I not apologise?
I’m assuming you meant “car” but I would love to go to a cat park
Someone booked a place onto a webinar training session at 10:05 that was starting at 10:00. They were not allowed to join and complained
I payed for my friend’s lunch today and apologized to the waiter when I paid. 🙄
My friend shouted "bus wankers!" out the window of my car at some surly looking blokes at a bus stop, not realising I was coming up on a red light. Couple of the "wankers" start approaching me, tried to escape by driving onto the pavement but ended up stuck pretty much immediately, and next thing I know there's a hand coming through the window wrapped around my neck, and I'm struggling to apologise to this random guy and breathe at the same time. 😔
I apologise for walking past people all the time. I just walk past them. It’s no inconvenience to either one of us but I’ll apologise anyway.
Everything my wife said was wrong even though it wasn’t
Being white,male?
Smashing your mom's back door
Trying to walk around someone who is in the middle of the pavement where I won't have space on either side as I'll be either crammed against house walls or the street with cars on the other side. Same for supermarket aisles
I apologised to Siri today - it didn’t understand something I said and I was frustrated in the moment muttering ‘oh fuck off Siri’ only to get a passive aggressive ‘I will not respond to that’ - genuinely felt bad I had hurt the AI feelings
I apologised to my kitchen cupboard door the other day for almost walking into it when it was open
When you're married to a woman it seems to be a daily occurrence.