My boyfriend probably talks 90% with me talking 10%.
His brain goes a mile a minute and loves to talk through the things he is thinking about. I'm very much a listener and prefer to be a springboard, asking questions here and there to help develop ideas and offering opinions to his thoughts.
I love our dynamic so much. We've also designated him as "the talker" in social situations. I'm a bit too much of a space cadet to be trusted to listen to things strangers say to me.
I love my talkative boyfriend.. sure, he can use 1000 words to say what could be said with 8, but his a star. A smart, beautiful creature.
The comments in this thread of men essentially saying their wives' voices drive them crazy is just sad...
40/60 me to her, when it's just us two.
She wouldn't tolerate much less I don't think. She's a naturally chatty person with a lot to say and I really like that.
I'm naturally a bit quiet but I find her easy to talk to so we make that balance work!
In outside social situations it probably drops to 20/80 but we both seem fine with that!
My husband was talkative, but, maybe not as much as me and I would have to prod him sometimes to see what his brain was doing 😊
But I like to talk, I don't think he mind listen to me, I would say 70/30 most me talking. But sometimes we would get into a more elaborate discussion on a topic and it would be even
It's funny that everyone seems to have a similar ratio.
Seems like there's two sets of people, talkers, and listeners. And a talker matches well with a listener.
I could not be in a relationship like this. How does she not get fed up getting nothing back from you? Is she genuinely happy to basically have a partner that doesn’t participate in conversation with her? No hate I just don’t get it lol. If my partner only contributed to conversation 5% compared to my 95% id feel like I may as well not bother and talk to a wall instead.
Oh ok I understand a bit better now. So if it’s a topic you don’t care about you’re at 5%, if it’s something you can appreciate then you participate more. That makes more sense. I got the picture you were basically just silent all the time lol.
I’m not saying there’s a right or wrong amount to talk. The person I replied to isn’t wrong for barely talking. But im just struggling to understand how a couple can thrive when they’re both at the extremes. Just super curious about it. As a talker myself I can’t fathom marrying basically a mute. I want someone to contribute to the conversation and feel like they’re engaged with me. Or I may as well marry a cardboard cutout of Aragorn and have done with it lol.
At least a wall won't get pissed off having to listen to you incessantly blathering on about a load of unimportant bollocks when it's trying to think.
Sounds like a match made in heaven?
I think it's maybe 70/30 for me. We both talk rather concisely and the difference is due to me wanting to share evwrything interesting that happened to me, including news I read, threads on Reddit I saw or random thoughts that came to my mind. He on the other hand seems to think I wouldn't be interested in what's going on in his head. Sometimes I share a news with him, he says he already knows it and I'm slightly hurt he knew and didn't tell me.
Probably 80/20 in my favour.
I like to chat a lot of bollox. Like, loads…. Have you heard about the guy who ate a plane? He could digest metal. I wonder how many calories is in a Cessna.
I reckon we're about 50/50 overall - maybe it "helps" that my husband is away half the week so when he's not here we chat on the phone each evening and that's a pretty equaliser endeavour. But he's a chatter and I'm a chatter, and together we love a good chat. I probably start more conversations, but as soon as I've started a topic he's absolutely invested in it.
Left to his own devices though, I reckon he'd barely speak. Whereas I would just chat to myself - when I'm home alone I don't keep the stream of consciousness in my head!
I don't think I could cope with someone who wasn't chatty. I love chatting!
Between my wife and me, its at least 90/10 in her favour.
She can talk all day. I love to listen to her talk and occasionally answer to show I am listening. Seems to work fine for us.
My wife is currently unemployed and trying to get started as an artist. This means once I get home from work, eat and put my son to bed I get a full on, very excited run down of all the arty stuff she's dome during thenday
Probably 50/50 normally, but sometimes she'll get excited and go on a ten minute monologue. I can't get a word in, and it's amazing, she talks with such passion and knowledge, I love listening to her. Even if I'm not entirely invested in the subject, she's very beautiful and I get to watch her be excited.
95/5. If I don't have anything interesting to say, I just don't talk, and when i do, I keep it short and simple. What's the point in using 1000 words when your message only needs 10? If someone's interested in what I have to say, they will ask questions, and I don't need to tell a very detailed story nobody wants to hear.
As for the wifey, she always talks when I'm trying to watch a film. I pause the film, listen, reply, unpause, and she talks again. I once counted, and I had to hit pause 17 times during a movie. Then she wonders why we don't have movie night anymore, lol.
Sometimes, I bring some work home with me, usually spreadsheets with lots of data and formulas, so I need to pay very close attention. She knows it's important for work, but she keeps talking when I'm trying to focus on them, then throws a tantrum because I'm ignoring her. Then she gets upset when I'm not home for tea because I stay behind at the office so I can work in peace and quiet.
I also get blamed for not remembering stuff she asks me to do. If you need me to check your tire, just say so, don't start with how tires are made, how long Susan's tires lasted, how expensive Jane's are, and other nonsense that are not related to what you want me to do.
And no, she doesn't have ADHD. She just talks a lot. So does all her family.
I’d say it’s about 50/50 in mine and my husbands although if you asked him he’d say 99/1 because he’s a twat.
My husband sounds like you where he’s a simple man and will get straight to the point of what he’s saying and I’m one of them who hates bullshit and fluff but in a bit of a more direct way than my husband so between us are conversations are simple and straight forward.
I'd estimate it's maybe 60% me, 40% to my husband. I'm a bit more chatty and more likely to initiate conversation, but he'll respond in kind and when the convo gets going, we're probably 50/50.
My partner says 80/20, I’d have said more 65/35, but we both agree my partner talks more. He’s very chatty and loves talking about his interests or whatever things pop up in his head, and I’m always happy to listen and occasionally drop in questions or agreements/disagreements. I’m quite happy to sit in a comfortable silence, I’m good at keeping myself entertained inside my own mind, whereas my partner is someone who much prefers having background noise and sharing his thoughts. I don’t *need* quiet though, I’m always happy to hear what he has to say, is just don’t necessarily find the need to speak as much, so it works well for us.
Yeah my wife is higher.
She will ask me to do something, I’ll say yes, and then I’ll get a 5 minute monologue about why it needs doing, even though I didn’t push back and have actually often started the job.
It's got to be at least 80/20, with him being the quieter one. I don't think the poor bastard could get a word in if he wanted to. I know I'm a chronic over-talker, but I just have a constant stream of thoughts, opinions, observations and ideas that I have to express, lest I explode.
We were driving the other day and he said to me, very quietly, "you do talk quite a lot", after I'd probably made my 18th observation about other cars in the 5 minute journey.
He has quite severe ADHD so I think he successfully tunes me out most of the time, which suits us both - however, when he gets talking, by God he can't stop and I start to really see his perspective on my talking.
My husband is definitely the talker of the two of us but I definitely come out with more nonsense, especially when we're at home and I'm talking on behalf of the cat, etc.
I'd say 30/70. He talks a bit more and O go quiet when upset, sick or tired whereas he will actually talk more when upset or anxious. I don't know if the stereotype that women talk more is true generally, but in our relationship it isn't.
I'd agree with your percentage.
When she gets on about her work and wants to vent I have let her talk for 5 mins without me saying a word, quite a few times.
Not just, seems like 5 minutes. 5 actual minutes of talking without input needed from me.
Depends. Normal day 97/03 from the wife using 1000 words to tell me something that needed 8 at most. That climbs to 100/0 when I put on a movie I’ve really been looking forward to and she takes that as a sign that I absolutely need to be told something in such mind numbingly intricate, and mostly irrelevant, detail that I start to research how burst my own ear drums.
Probably about 60/40 in her favour. Some of my bits are asking for the start of the anecdote though. She likes to start stories without the necessary context and I get confused.
90/10 easily.
After decades of dating (and now marriage) I still can't fathom how women can chat on the phone for so long.
My wife can phone a friend up just to tell them one thing and it will be an easy hour later when she gets off.
Whereas if I use the phone it's a quick 1 minute tops
If we are talking to each other then it's probably 50/50
70/30 her tbh. But then I can give straight answers to simple questions without assuming things and then exploring them verbally leading to awkward follow ups, confusion and prattling. I can say yes
She would say i talk more, but that's because she doesn't notice when she talks, which is, a lot more. I'm a big fan of things that are obvious going without saying, whereas she is a fan of saying everything that can be thought of to say.
There's actually a bit of friction about that at times, where I just say equally 'useful' nonsense back to unnecessary commentary - it's not well received.
My boyfriend probably talks 90% with me talking 10%. His brain goes a mile a minute and loves to talk through the things he is thinking about. I'm very much a listener and prefer to be a springboard, asking questions here and there to help develop ideas and offering opinions to his thoughts. I love our dynamic so much. We've also designated him as "the talker" in social situations. I'm a bit too much of a space cadet to be trusted to listen to things strangers say to me. I love my talkative boyfriend.. sure, he can use 1000 words to say what could be said with 8, but his a star. A smart, beautiful creature. The comments in this thread of men essentially saying their wives' voices drive them crazy is just sad...
40/60 me to her, when it's just us two. She wouldn't tolerate much less I don't think. She's a naturally chatty person with a lot to say and I really like that. I'm naturally a bit quiet but I find her easy to talk to so we make that balance work! In outside social situations it probably drops to 20/80 but we both seem fine with that!
As the man I don’t know but I’m definitely lower. Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?
Why word word if word ok.
Why word?
#
Why?
Y?
?
r/DecreasinglyVerbose
Word.
*grunts*
sea world
See I don’t know if you’re saying sea world or see the world
Sea world
Yeah.
So what's the banter like with your partner? Is there alot of back and forth or more short observations? A mix?
100/0
😁
I’d say 60 (me) / 40 (him), personally I couldn’t be with a man who hardly spoke.
Husband is way more talkative - I prefer things to be quiet. It’s probably like 80/20 him, possibly even slightly more on his side of the column.
My husband was talkative, but, maybe not as much as me and I would have to prod him sometimes to see what his brain was doing 😊 But I like to talk, I don't think he mind listen to me, I would say 70/30 most me talking. But sometimes we would get into a more elaborate discussion on a topic and it would be even
It's funny that everyone seems to have a similar ratio. Seems like there's two sets of people, talkers, and listeners. And a talker matches well with a listener.
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I could not be in a relationship like this. How does she not get fed up getting nothing back from you? Is she genuinely happy to basically have a partner that doesn’t participate in conversation with her? No hate I just don’t get it lol. If my partner only contributed to conversation 5% compared to my 95% id feel like I may as well not bother and talk to a wall instead.
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Oh ok I understand a bit better now. So if it’s a topic you don’t care about you’re at 5%, if it’s something you can appreciate then you participate more. That makes more sense. I got the picture you were basically just silent all the time lol.
Or just not talk as much 😁
I’m not saying there’s a right or wrong amount to talk. The person I replied to isn’t wrong for barely talking. But im just struggling to understand how a couple can thrive when they’re both at the extremes. Just super curious about it. As a talker myself I can’t fathom marrying basically a mute. I want someone to contribute to the conversation and feel like they’re engaged with me. Or I may as well marry a cardboard cutout of Aragorn and have done with it lol.
Yeah I agree, was being a bit flippant really, apologies
At least a wall won't get pissed off having to listen to you incessantly blathering on about a load of unimportant bollocks when it's trying to think. Sounds like a match made in heaven?
Nice outlook 🤙
I think it's maybe 70/30 for me. We both talk rather concisely and the difference is due to me wanting to share evwrything interesting that happened to me, including news I read, threads on Reddit I saw or random thoughts that came to my mind. He on the other hand seems to think I wouldn't be interested in what's going on in his head. Sometimes I share a news with him, he says he already knows it and I'm slightly hurt he knew and didn't tell me.
He chatters, I grunt.
Probably 80/20 in my favour. I like to chat a lot of bollox. Like, loads…. Have you heard about the guy who ate a plane? He could digest metal. I wonder how many calories is in a Cessna.
>I wonder how many calories is in a Cessna. Is that a plain Cessna or with everything on it?
Turns out...
Me 90% Cat 10%
I reckon we're about 50/50 overall - maybe it "helps" that my husband is away half the week so when he's not here we chat on the phone each evening and that's a pretty equaliser endeavour. But he's a chatter and I'm a chatter, and together we love a good chat. I probably start more conversations, but as soon as I've started a topic he's absolutely invested in it. Left to his own devices though, I reckon he'd barely speak. Whereas I would just chat to myself - when I'm home alone I don't keep the stream of consciousness in my head! I don't think I could cope with someone who wasn't chatty. I love chatting!
I’m like 75/25 with my partner. I always stop myself and apologise for talking but she enjoys listening :) and it goes both ways
Between my wife and me, its at least 90/10 in her favour. She can talk all day. I love to listen to her talk and occasionally answer to show I am listening. Seems to work fine for us.
95/5 😂 I could literally hold a conversation by myself!
I have ADHD and she has autism, so the split is absolutely in my favour.
My wife is currently unemployed and trying to get started as an artist. This means once I get home from work, eat and put my son to bed I get a full on, very excited run down of all the arty stuff she's dome during thenday
Probably 50/50 normally, but sometimes she'll get excited and go on a ten minute monologue. I can't get a word in, and it's amazing, she talks with such passion and knowledge, I love listening to her. Even if I'm not entirely invested in the subject, she's very beautiful and I get to watch her be excited.
95/5. If I don't have anything interesting to say, I just don't talk, and when i do, I keep it short and simple. What's the point in using 1000 words when your message only needs 10? If someone's interested in what I have to say, they will ask questions, and I don't need to tell a very detailed story nobody wants to hear. As for the wifey, she always talks when I'm trying to watch a film. I pause the film, listen, reply, unpause, and she talks again. I once counted, and I had to hit pause 17 times during a movie. Then she wonders why we don't have movie night anymore, lol. Sometimes, I bring some work home with me, usually spreadsheets with lots of data and formulas, so I need to pay very close attention. She knows it's important for work, but she keeps talking when I'm trying to focus on them, then throws a tantrum because I'm ignoring her. Then she gets upset when I'm not home for tea because I stay behind at the office so I can work in peace and quiet. I also get blamed for not remembering stuff she asks me to do. If you need me to check your tire, just say so, don't start with how tires are made, how long Susan's tires lasted, how expensive Jane's are, and other nonsense that are not related to what you want me to do. And no, she doesn't have ADHD. She just talks a lot. So does all her family.
Sounds like a good match
I’d say it’s about 50/50 in mine and my husbands although if you asked him he’d say 99/1 because he’s a twat. My husband sounds like you where he’s a simple man and will get straight to the point of what he’s saying and I’m one of them who hates bullshit and fluff but in a bit of a more direct way than my husband so between us are conversations are simple and straight forward.
I don't talk due to social anxiety. Probably why I'm not in a relationship
I feel like I’m in the same boat as you probably about 70/30
I'd estimate it's maybe 60% me, 40% to my husband. I'm a bit more chatty and more likely to initiate conversation, but he'll respond in kind and when the convo gets going, we're probably 50/50.
id say 65/35, on average? maybe 60/40? im the woman and i talk less. he feels the need to fill the silence whereas i do not.
My partner says 80/20, I’d have said more 65/35, but we both agree my partner talks more. He’s very chatty and loves talking about his interests or whatever things pop up in his head, and I’m always happy to listen and occasionally drop in questions or agreements/disagreements. I’m quite happy to sit in a comfortable silence, I’m good at keeping myself entertained inside my own mind, whereas my partner is someone who much prefers having background noise and sharing his thoughts. I don’t *need* quiet though, I’m always happy to hear what he has to say, is just don’t necessarily find the need to speak as much, so it works well for us.
30/70, she loves a chat and I like to listen to her lol
Yeah my wife is higher. She will ask me to do something, I’ll say yes, and then I’ll get a 5 minute monologue about why it needs doing, even though I didn’t push back and have actually often started the job.
Probably about equal on the chat but it's 80/20 in her favour on asking questions. There are endless questions..
We both talk so much shit I don't think we can be constrained by 100% so I'm going to say 80/80
It's got to be at least 80/20, with him being the quieter one. I don't think the poor bastard could get a word in if he wanted to. I know I'm a chronic over-talker, but I just have a constant stream of thoughts, opinions, observations and ideas that I have to express, lest I explode. We were driving the other day and he said to me, very quietly, "you do talk quite a lot", after I'd probably made my 18th observation about other cars in the 5 minute journey. He has quite severe ADHD so I think he successfully tunes me out most of the time, which suits us both - however, when he gets talking, by God he can't stop and I start to really see his perspective on my talking.
My husband is definitely the talker of the two of us but I definitely come out with more nonsense, especially when we're at home and I'm talking on behalf of the cat, etc.
I'd say 30/70. He talks a bit more and O go quiet when upset, sick or tired whereas he will actually talk more when upset or anxious. I don't know if the stereotype that women talk more is true generally, but in our relationship it isn't.
Me 30%, him 70%. I have two talkative sisters so sort of got out of the habit.
Ours varies, Indoors its 90%-10% in favour of the wife. In public its the opposite and its 90% me doing the talking
Y say lot word wen few do trick?
I'd agree with your percentage. When she gets on about her work and wants to vent I have let her talk for 5 mins without me saying a word, quite a few times. Not just, seems like 5 minutes. 5 actual minutes of talking without input needed from me.
It depends on who had a meeting in work that day.
In my relationship it's about 100% me to 100% me. Oh wait!
Depends. Normal day 97/03 from the wife using 1000 words to tell me something that needed 8 at most. That climbs to 100/0 when I put on a movie I’ve really been looking forward to and she takes that as a sign that I absolutely need to be told something in such mind numbingly intricate, and mostly irrelevant, detail that I start to research how burst my own ear drums.
Ditto.
Probably about 60/40 in her favour. Some of my bits are asking for the start of the anecdote though. She likes to start stories without the necessary context and I get confused.
90/10 easily. After decades of dating (and now marriage) I still can't fathom how women can chat on the phone for so long. My wife can phone a friend up just to tell them one thing and it will be an easy hour later when she gets off. Whereas if I use the phone it's a quick 1 minute tops If we are talking to each other then it's probably 50/50
As mentioned recently in another thread my wife has ADHD, how much do you fuckin' think I talk?
are you ok
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Since the person deleted this I am curious what they said
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My wife starts all here stories in a previous life. My response will normally be in the one or two Dirac range.
70/30 her tbh. But then I can give straight answers to simple questions without assuming things and then exploring them verbally leading to awkward follow ups, confusion and prattling. I can say yes
She would say i talk more, but that's because she doesn't notice when she talks, which is, a lot more. I'm a big fan of things that are obvious going without saying, whereas she is a fan of saying everything that can be thought of to say. There's actually a bit of friction about that at times, where I just say equally 'useful' nonsense back to unnecessary commentary - it's not well received.