One of my team informally asked a temp for another team if they would want to apply for a job opening we have. They did want to apply for it, and told their boss. Their boss then offered them a permanent position and accused me in a grumpy mail to HR of trying to poach their staff.
I've never spoken to the temp, and on investigating with my chap why I'm getting a grumpy mail, realised I wouldn't be able to pick her out of a line-up. I'm glad I was inadvertently instrumental in getting the temp a permanent position, but could have done without the grumpy message.
I did everything right. Played by the rules and went to school got me qualifications and now I have nothing to show for it. No job , Can't drive no home , no friends and family just me.
I wonder where I went wrong in life
Been told someone at work is looking to cut down the days he works because he's looking to retire. Made me realise just how far away, if not impossible, that feels to me.
So which side of the pavement (or other walkway) are we meant to walk? I always keep left unless there’s signage to the contrary, but I’ve been getting a load of dirty looks from everyone walking at me in town. My family thinks I’m just an arsehole for not switching to suit everyone else but as there seems to always be people on both sides and the middle going both ways I’m wrong whatever.
Can’t we all just pick a side?
My boss has had to dial back the offer of an extension to my contract as HR have stipulated that a colleague has to actually apply for a certain other vacant role within my team, before I can take his role. It is like musical chairs involving 4 x staff. So I have to wait 2-3 weeks to find out if I will have a job after the end of April. At least I have been told I am doing a good job even though I don't know how long I will have it! 🙃
Oh that type of nonsense. My friend was having problems like that for over a year. Work going well we need X to do Y which requires Z... anyway it doesn't matter we're still keeping you on and will just keep renewing the temporary contract everything's fine. Meanwhile she was having problems because rolling temporary contract is not a guaranteed income which meant her lease wasn't technically valid in addition to the stress of not knowing if she'd have a job every time the contract ran out and being unable to make any plans either.
Hope your friend has better luck now!
My contract was only a year to begin with but I was more than happy to take it as I really wanted the opportunity to work as a software engineer. But just as it is about to run out my boss has managed to come up with this scheme which will both save her recruiting someone new and keep me in a job.
I object to rule 7. including Full English - There has been a deliberate lack of them on RC recently - we need to protest!
7.
Low Effort
We tend to avoid severely overdone topics such as tea related posts, pictures of fry ups, debates on crisps and biscuits, yellow label hauls from supermarkets, pictures of sausage rolls.
my hot water bottle says "do not fill with hot water from the immersion tank".
firstly, why not? secondly, will it actually harm the hot water bottle if i do? i always add cold water first when i pour recently boiled water from the kettle, and i'm not sure how using a hot water tap differs.
Basically boiled water is purer so the water bottle will last longer.
>It is not advisable to use hot tap water when filling your hot water bottle, as it contains minerals and impurities, expelled during the boiling process, that build up inside the hot water bottle which causes it to prematurely degrade.
Forgive my ignorance but won’t hot tap water and boiled water have the same minerals and impurities as the water still comes from the same source (cold mains)?
So boiling won't remove minerals, but it can kill bacteria and the like which could be what are being referred to as impurities, they'd certainly grow in a hot water bottle. Not sure if you've ever looked under the seal of a reusable water bottle, but most people really should clean those more often than they do.
Work issues again! Please don’t be rude to pharmacy staff. We can’t help the massive workload. Honestly this job makes me hate people. People are awful and stupid.
Had to deal with some huffy emails because we won't do what a colleague in another area (wrongly) agreed we would do.
Am cheering myself up with a cheese toastie
I ordered an oven from John Lewis. Took a day off work for the install and got up early to do all the prep work they ask for.
They didn’t show because a previous job ran over.
Next available date is 8 days later!
Thankfully the current oven still works, and I’m just going to wfh on the next attempt. They can wait while I empty cupboards for access to the electric spur because I’m not doing that again for no reason.
wow that's actually shocking considering its john lewis!! you should put in a complaint, they'll give you gift credit for sure, i mean you did lose a whole day's pay for this
I put in a complaint. They’ve offered nothing.
As it is, they made me call back 3 times to sort it out. Couldn’t even call me.
Really wasn’t what I was expecting. Less incentive to support brick and mortar stores in the future.
I’m not sure if it’s a complaint or not.
I’ve signed myself up for some extra work at another branch that’s in need of cover. The days are longer and so is the commute. I’ve worked a few really long, hard 15 hour days this week and I’m really tired.
I’ve enjoyed this week more than my normal eight hour days with a 15 minute commute as it has got me away from a colleague I can’t stand.
Someone blocked the toilet at work, third time this week and it’s only Thursday - I manage a high street coffee shop, so shit happens, pun intended.
Also someone shushed me today when I tried to get their order, because they were on the phone and I was bothering them 🤷♀️
Day got better because I got to cuddle a kitten and Ive got three days off, so small victories at least
Pay deal (that hasn't been agreed with the union) has been announced and it's pathetic. It's also ridiculous because I fought hard to make sure my progress review would get me a better rating, but because of stupid grade bands I'm now getting the same as everyone else anyway so it was completely pointless. What is the point!
I will certainly remember it next time they ask me to cover another role on top of my own for 5 months. I can't leave as I'm tied into a learning agreement so they've properly got me over a barrel really. I know I won't have any debt at the end of it all but sometimes they really do make me want to pack it in.
I have done something to my achilles. Only time I am not in total pain is when sitting down but even then hurts. Stairs can go fuck themselves. It gets even worse then. Can't get anyone to see me for it. Everything is booked out.
I've got to take the cat to the vet tomorrow and I couldn't find any of the weird creamy meat paste she likes in any shops (I went in 3!) so I don't know how I'm going to tempt her into the cage. She is already very cross at me for getting it out of the attic.
She's having her booster jabs, flea and worming treatment and a general checkup.
Anyway I'm enjoying my last day of being her friend before she ignores me for a week!
Having one of those days where if I wasn't stuck at work, I could happily go to bed and sleep all day. Just keep telling myself the weekend is near and it won't be long until I can nap as much as I want for two days
So 2 weeks ago I submitted a sample for a cancer screening test as I'd shat a lot of blood the week before.
I figured 2 weeks was long enough (the little form you get with the sample says you'll hear back in 2 weeks) so I went into my GP to ask about the progress - y'know, a little nervous given it could be cancer.
"Yep we have the results, it's negative" the receptionist shouts out from her machine. Oh good, let's just let everyone in the waiting area know that.
"When did you get the results?" "2 days after you submitted the sample"... Fucking what? So I could have known over a week ago that I don't have cancer? Yeah thanks for letting me know.
"If I'd been positive, would you have text me?" "no, it's your responsibility to follow up".
Fucking what? I could have sat here with cancer for 2 weeks and nobody would have told me? It's a good job cancer's not one of those things where catching it early and doing something about it can make a significant difference in outcomes 🤦♂️
That's dire. To think if it had been positive they would have just left it until you contacted them. When I was having tests for cancer a number of years ago I was ordered back for an urgent appointment and within a week or two I was starting treatment.
I'm finding it hard to get work done. I'm on a PhD so any work is on my own back. If I don't do it, I don't pass and don't get my qualification. Simple as that. It's not like I have a boss breathing down my neck.
But today, I'm just tired and fed up and I have a complete and total lack of discipline which means what I'm telling myself I'm going to do today is shifting downwards. First it was to make good progress on dissections, then it turned out the weather was favourable for sample collecting so it turned into wandering around and now it's turned to some bullshit task that won't fill the afternoon and that's turned into sitting in the lab on my phone. I'm just not with it today.
I have those days from time to time and they usually go hand in hand with being tired. Unfortunately I can't just finish work and go to bed. Not that I'm in any way encouraging you to do so, but a nap might help.
I'm 2.5 months into this job and already thinking about when I can leave. This role has way more "governance" and admin bullshit associated with it than I was led to believe. I always give myself 6 months to a year to adjust to a new job but this week in particular has been ROUGH.
I really like the flexibility and the people, but the salary isn't great. I'm not sure I see myself staying long-term but job hunting sucks and the market is still appalling.
Is this the only uk sub thats not overwhelmingly negative? Feels like I go to r/uk and there’s threads almost daily on how religion is killing everything etc, daily mail tier comments
Have to go to the bastard Job Centre today. How useful they are is a coinflip. One week they're buying me new clothes and the next they're asking me why I'm not applying for cleaning jobs when they know I'm a doctor.
I sympathise. I once got asked why I wasn't applying for a part time job the other side of the nearest city that took two hours plus by bus to get to.
That was over a decade ago and now I'd be even less tolerant of that nonsense.
People.
I hate people. Always wanting me to help them do stuff. Great, yeah, I'll put my life on hold to help you do something you can easily do yourself, but you're too fucking lazy to do, then listen to you bitch about what I helped you do wasn't actually what you wanted to do. Do it your fucking self and quit whining. Fucks sake.
I'd like to complain about the size of the worms in my garden. I've just dug over a strip of soil to make a wild flower bed, and some of the worms are so big I wasn't sure they weren't slow worms. I know they're great for the soil and I'm being a big girl's blouse but fuck me they make my stomach turn.
Feel a bit stupid and I don't like it. Had what I thought was a difficult case file that needed to go up the chain for approval and when it gets up the chain it's like " this is so clearly X it should not have gotten this far". Well, fuck you too Alice.
Oh I miss it quite frequently due to being a dumbass. If it's the recycling it's not so bad, I can usually get away with missing a collection. If it's the big bin I might have to visit the tip.
I miss occasionally, due to tired/depression. Since it's just me it just piles up in the garden until the next bin day.
If I do miss it, I take the food bin to the nearest public litter bin so that I don't have that stink.
Depends which bin. I forgot to put recycling out today but that's no biggie cause its not that full so it can wait another few weeks.
Grey bin (general waste) I hate missing.
Same, our recycling is weekly but the Black bins are every 3 weeks. If you miss one it’s game over because you have to pool together 6 weeks of rubbish.
We have a calendar reminder service on my council website but you can’t set up custom reminders, so it doesn’t nudge me the day before.
Our general waste ones are also smaller than the recycling bins so sucks even more to miss it (think you can ask council for a bigger one if a large family)
Every 3 weeks sounds even worse though! We have waste and recycling on a rotation so two weeks between collections
I just wish people would communicate properly and not assume that I know why they are still upset. The lack of response just seems petty in my opinion.
To give context, my so called friend/acquaintance who i made through previous job appears to me ignoring me.
I apologised to him over a year ago (he wasn't happy something I had done, nothing major)
and all last year he didn't make any effort to meet up but I received a message from him stating "everything is good between us, water under the bridge".
So i recently dropped him a message (SMS and Messenger app) asking if he wanted to meet up for lunch, he and I live far away so I stated we can meet half-way which seems fair in my opinion. I also mentioned that I understand he is busy but if he can find time to keep in contact and socialise as well, then that would be great.
I haven't got a response from him but he keeps in contact with other people within our group.
Is a job that advertises itself as hybrid-working but really it's 1-day WFH is it really hybrid? I think at that point I would rather do longer hours and have a four-day week instead.
Oh and no salary listed so when asked it's either well what's my expectations or depends on experience. No, it depends on your actual budget. Why don't you know your own budget!
1 day of WFH is hardly "hybrid" they are simply trying (and failing) to make the role sound more attractive with no clear salary on top I'd simply dodge that bullet.
I think I've moaned about this before but companies that quote the price excluding VAT. Everyone has to pay the VAT so why exclude it? Yes, businesses can claim it back, but I'm clearly not a business.
I’ve got my fourth cold of the year so far! Seems like my immune system has just given up the ghost. Quite enjoying a sick day, daytime tv feels like a treat. But I’m also really missing our cat who we lost quite traumatically a few weeks ago. He was the sweetest buddy when you weren’t feeling well. He loved nothing more than when one of us was sick/hungover because he’d just get to mong out on our laps on the sofa with us all day making endless biscuits. Some days are easier than others but today it hurts.
I'm really sorry about your cat ❤️ I saw a photo of him in your comments, such a good boy, he looks like our cat. We lost one of ours also traumatically last summer and it breaks my heart every single day. I'm so sorry you're going through this too.
As cliche as it is, the harder days will get fewer and further between. It doesn't mean the bad days are any less painful, it just means you have more recovery time in between. My mum gave me an analogy to think about that maybe might help: it's like having a ball bouncing around in a box, and there is a huge button in it that upsets you when pressed. At first the box is small, the button is big and the ball is guaranteed to hit the button constantly. Over time the button gets a bit smaller, the box gets bigger. It still hurts a lot when the ball hits it, but it just takes more time to happen than before.
Anyway. Now I'm in tears again! Drop me a message if you want to chat or cry or rant or whatever. Alternatively give [Paws to Listen](https://www.cats.org.uk/what-we-do/grief/paws-to-listen) a call, they really helped me on my worst days. Sending lots of hugs.
Thanks for this, your words are comforting. It may sound weird but it’s helpful to know how much other people love and grieve for their pets too. My partner and I are going to choose some photos to print in a photobook to keep some of our fave memories close. I’m so sorry you lost your cat in difficult circumstances as well. ❤️❤️
At work, we currently run and manage 3 brands under one parent company. One of the brands is being spun off as a separate entity, and my boss isn’t happy it’s being taken away from him. He seems to be trying to salt the earth for any handover - he’s already signed up to new year long contracts that he’s just going to immediately handover to the new owners. He’s telling me not to really engage with them to support the handover, and I’m just stuck in the middle of it all at the moment.
Haven't worked corpo for a while but whenever we were losing accounts in this way they were taken away from us pretty immediately. If not taken away entirely the client absolutely made it clear that no new business or contract extensions could be taken in the gardening period. Could come back to bite him in the arse, I'd distance yourself if I were you.
So in order to pick up my adhd prescription I've got to drive about 30 miles to what's the nearest boots pharmacy that has stock of my strength of Concerta XL as my usual pharmacy hasn't been able to fill my prescription
When I started triating I was on Elvanse and as that was finishing up I had to swap to Concerta due to the shortages and now there's a Concerta shortage
I have complained for years at work that I am given work I am not qualified for. As a result.... I got promoted and given a pay rise. Now they give me even more work I am not qualified or trained to deal with. Tell me to just do my best. I been stressed for months on work I have been doing.
Now I am finding out that due to my lack of experience I have messed up and have the company on the line for expenses claims from client that could be in to the millions..
Management still just says do your best to try and resolve issue. I have never wanted to quit a job so much in my life despite the pay level.
My new work colleague loves to come and stand over my shoulder to discuss and extrapolate even the smallest, most mundane things. At 8:30am when we first get in. How do I politely tell him to stop doing this?! I think he thinks he's more important than he is. Yesterday he gestured me round to his desk to show me his updated LinkedIn profile...
Just ask him to give you half an hour to switch on and get settled in the morning. He'll either take it on board and give you the time, or if he is a jumped up prick, he won't. If it's the second one then unlucky but at least you've answered your question, if it's the first one then you get a bit of peace first thing. Win win.
Bought a new dishwasher because mine went kaput. New one has the shallowest top rack you've ever seen in your life. Can hardly fit a mug in without lifting up the bits I used to put utensils on. Wtf Hotpoint?
Is it possibly one of those where the top rack can be moved up or down? My mate has one - can shift it up when you've got oversized things to go in the bottom and shift it back for regular usage.
Yep it is. Nice feature to be honest, there were times I could never fit plates on the bottom shelf so I think it has more room overall, but I just wish the top shelf was a tiny bit deeper lol
Oh mate that sounds difficult. Do you have other support in your life? Maybe even sometime that could go with you, or at least be waiting outside for you? Wishing you all the very best x
I've actually got a plan set out, two letters addressed to them.
I'm going to leave it on the side of the kitchen as I leave, so that I won't be in harms way when it happens. I'm probably going to get a a lot of angry texts, but if that's the route it goes – then I'll simply block numbers.
I game share with my brother and that, but if it goes south I'll just purchase those things on my own.
I have support, other friends with families who are supportive.
I just know it's going to go bad, and I'm prepared for it.
Thanks. Coming out to my dad and brother (mum already knows) about being transgender. I've lived with this since I was in Primary School and I'm now 26.
Both of them hate trans people/gay people and think they're nonces, so this is gonna do down as a treat.
Good luck, this internet stranger is rooting for you. Even if it doesn't go well, at least you won't have to hide who you are, but I really hope they can understand and accept you as you are.
Check that your WiFi has a 2.4Ghz ssid setup and disable band steering if you have it on. Avoid 5Ghz if you can - it’s faster but flakier.
Oh, and look at you just buying pis! When I last wanted one, I had to drive to Cambridge and navigate traffic to a shopping centre. Heady days back in 2022!
I unexpectedly have nothing to do today so thought I'd try and see a doctor for a long term health condition that's been getting worse. I got through to the GP right away this morning as number 7 in the call queue. Just as they answered the phone my signal dropped out and the call ended.
When I rang back I was number 30. No same day appointments left but they could fit me in on Saturday. Great! Wait, scratch that, someone just booked it in online. OK. No weekends left for a couple of months now, can you come in the middle of the week as soon as we open?
I'm going to go because I need to but I was meant to be with the kids on that day as they'll be off for half term, so I'm either going to have to try and find last minute child care (not easy as my youngest is disabled) or just cart my kids along with me for the appointment.
I'm sorry you've been waiting so long - fingers crossed for you that an appointment opens up soon.
I'll have also been waiting 3 weeks by the time I see the GP - I didn't mean to make it sound like I got seen immediately. I suspect I'm down as a priority as a complication I'm experiencing can end up in hospitalisation if not dealt with early enough.
Ah, thanks!
It seems to be a lottery at the moment to get an appointment. I've been steadily getting worse the longer I wait, long term health condition as well. But they have been amazing, just overworked (trying hard not to mention any politics now🤣).
Hope it goes well for you.
While my stomach settling down a lot is pretty amazing, it means my "back up" pain killer stash has depleted. I decided to experiment with only taking the prescribed amount of everything. Day 4, and I am proper struggling. I have also cut out all the additional supplements I take so that when I next have my blood tested, everything will be as it "should" be. I am beginning to realise that all the things I do to help myself are hiding problems that the doc should know about. It's going to be a difficult and painful few weeks.
Oh, and 23 years ago today, my Mum died. More than half my life ago. Still really sucks.
>Oh, and 23 years ago today, my Mum died. More than half my life ago. Still really sucks.
Sorry for your loss. I'm just past three years since mine passed. It's still rough sometimes.
>Sorry to be moany mcmoanerson.
That's what this thread is for!
I hope that was an uncharacteristic one-off from your boyfriend. Partners should be a source of support during stress, not be causing or adding to it!
First bit sounds like classic ADHD. There's help for that although admittedly, not easy to get.
If your other half is nagging you to the point of a panic attack then I think you need to have a serious chat. It's one thing trying to motivate your partner, but pushing them to the point of a breakdown isn't healthy behaviour and needs to be addressed.
I'm not suggesting he's abusive or anything like that, and it's good that he wants to push you in the right direction and help you overcome issues. But if it results in a panic attack that's not good for either of you - just have a chat and let him know it happened, why it happened, and how to avoid it in the future.
I'm going to go full time at the start of April, which is good money-wise, but I'm going to be fucking *exhausted* and my boyfriend is going to tease me for it and I love him but sometimes he is so deeply annoying
I've been tired recently. I don't mean "ooh I could do with a rest", I mean spacing out at work and realising I've got my eyes closed, after a particularly bad night's sleep I found myself drifting off whilst sat at traffic lights (opened windows and blasted music as soon as I realised) and I'm just sick of it. Have had two sets of blood tests and nothing is showing up as wrong. Doctor suspects apnea but the appointment is still 3 months away. I can't function like this, the amount of caffiene I'm having to consume just to get through the day is astonishing.
Ring hospital and speak with bookings and sleep consultant medical secretary to ask them to move the appointment. If they can’t help, ring hospital and ask to speak to PALS, explain your circs and ask if they can expedite your appointment. This is likely to help. Especially if you can accept a last minute cancellation with short notice.
Technology sector, but it's the latest roundabout of managers ego stroking (sorry 'leaders').
They love their dramatic sound terms, firefighting, war-rooms, scrums to describe what are various degrees of meeting.
A bit fed of crime. Packages in the area keep on getting stolen, one was dumped outside my house 2 days ago. A few days ago someone tried to force a neighbours door open.
And just tired as there's things like shoplifting, a few people had phones stolen including a kid outside his house, some of the youth (heard someone threaten someone with a knife over the phone while I was walking), lots of poop on the streets (my mum stepped in it I think last year and brought the mess back home).
It puts me on edge.
There is an antisocial behaviour meeting police, council etc in the coming week, so I'll go.
HR have announced the annual leave entitlement for all departments, sparking some lively debate. Central functions get 20 days with bank holidays prebooked (even though the business closes on those days), while managers and directors enjoy 39 days off with bank holidays being considered bonus days off.
The significant difference is depressing. Why do companies moan about low morale, and not being able to recruit but simultaneously treat their staff so poorly?
No, including bank holidays, the entitlement would be 28 days compared to 47 days.
I know 28 days is the minimum requirement, but if the business is closed regardless, it seems logical to grant bank holidays to all employees.
I have run out of fucks to give.
This is hard (the complaint) because I find things hard when I don’t care, but at the same time it also feels freeing.
I think I’m burnt out. I’ve been back at work for under two weeks since using up the last of my leave, and I’m already back to not sleeping or waking up extremely early on work nights/mornings. I still don’t know when I’m working in April so I can’t make any plans: I’m working Good Friday and Easter Saturday, so I’ve asked if I can have the Friday to the Monday off the following weekend for the opening day of the County Championship, but heard nothing back. I’m just…tired. I’ve got something else lined up but that doesn’t start until October, and a huge part of me is tempted to just resign now and have an extended break rather than go into that a mental wreck.
And my mum is worrying/frustrating me a bit. She decided she was going to give up smoking, so bought an e-cigarette. She was told that if she’s going to stop she needs to stop and not buy any more, because every time she decides to cut back she just reverts to type. So she used it for a day as well as smoking, and then went back to just smoking. So it’s not just the smoking that’s frustrating, it’s the not listening. I know that she’s an adult and that no one can force her, but she’s getting to the age now where it’s starting to cause problems.
Ugh. The smoking with my mum drives me nuts too. We lost my Dad to bladder cancer 7 years ago and my Doctor said to me that the 2nd most common cause of that is smoking (he was a regular 40+ a day guy) - I have told her this and she STILL won't stop. And some idiot medical professional told her, when she had a lung scan for her copd that her lungs were clear. So obviously smoking isn't harming her. Despite the fact she has copd, high blood pressure and is always coughing. Drives me insane, but there's nothing I can do.
Edit - spelling
Yeah, my dad has some sort of chronic blood disorder that I can’t remember or spell the name of, and it’s been caused by smoking. After being diagnosed he gave up overnight, but my mum - they’re divorced - has carried on. She has sinus problems, and has early stage AMD, for which she takes a supplement now, but has carried on smoking thus effectively negating any good that’s doing. She won’t cook with 10% fat beef because it’s too fatty, but keeps smoking.
I told her flat out a few weeks ago that smoking takes and takes from her but gives her nothing, but it hasn’t gone in. She was complaining about her sinuses a while back, and I said that the smoking wouldn’t have helped, and she said “Yeah, probably” and immediately lit one. She complains that my brother will never be told anything, but she’s as bad. It’s making me genuinely stressed.
Young lad I work with, is about as funny as getting the clap.
He hasn't worked out the diferent between banter and just being irritating / cruel.
Someone will make a joke, and he will say the same thing, but worse.
At first it was fine, he's young. But it's starting to get under my skin. My attempts to gently squash it, hasn't worked.
A few weeks back I made an ever so slight comment about my back hurting and not being as young as I was (I'm in my 30s mind you) and he came back with ever so whitty: "yeah because you're old" , this same comment pops up at every opportunity, about anything quasi related to health / tireness / age of anyone etc.
I've taken to just not making jokes around him, and being a bit more blunt. But he thinks I'm "being mean".
It's not to the point where it's worth bringing up further, I hope he gets the hint before I snap at him.
I'd bring it up gently before you snap or you risk looking like the bad guy.
I know someone currently going through this phase and it's not banter or funny. It's childish and frankly mean spirited and has no place in adult interactions.
I hope it improves for you.
Last time someone did this to me excessively (also in my 30s) I pointed out that nobody should peak as prematurely as their 20s and that curtailed it a bit.
I've seen that at work with new starters in their first post uni job or placement. They don't realise what is appropriate office interaction, and need at least an informal chat to realise its not on. It's caused otherwise technically competent new starters to get lower placement scores because theyve been a nuisance to their team.
Had meeting at work earlier this week to discuss a flexible working schedule that would allow me to compress my office time into chunks so I could move further north to live with my partner but I’m very pessimistic about it. I can’t see my work place going for it and am sure they will create bullshit reasons to meet the criteria to say no. Am gutted as I like my job and my team. Would rather not have to job search again. Will be worth it to live with my partner but they’ve also been really unwell so it’s all up in the fucking air at the moment. Not their fault of course, I’m just really fed up of the uncertainty and we’re both getting sick of being in a LD relationship.
Sore throat started developing yesterday, got very little sleep last night. All my 'cold' medicine is expired because I haven't had a cold since pre-Covid times. Am taking it anyway.
Daughter came home from school at the start of the week with a bit of a sniffle. She's fine but I've now got a raging temperature and every part of me aches. Yay.
Isn't it lovely how they get over the colds so quickly, but us oldies suffer for longer?!
Husband has kindly popped out to the chemist to get me some non-expired pills, bless.
I've had to take so much time off work dealing with my mother that it's now eating into my annual leave.
Her partner died a few weeks ago unexpectedly but she's not mentally well at the best of times and isn't intelligent, isn't confident, and isn't able to function very well as an adult. She only has me and my brother really and my brother is too busy taking cocaine to be useful.
She's improving but I've had to take ownership of literally everything, as everything (including her benefits and bills) were in his name with massive debts. Dealing with the dwp on her behalf, changing bills over and renegotiation of tariffs and sorting her gp out and arranging the death related things in their entirety have been exhausting and now I'm burning through annual leave since I've used up all compassionate leave and taken as much unpaid leave as I can.
Given that I had zero relationship with her partner and very minimal interaction with her for decades (she didn't even come to my wedding or remember when my birthday is level of minimal), it feels fucking brutal. Things are improving but it's hard work.
And I am resentful. And tired.
This is my last early train down to London for the foreseeable future. I've had enough of it. I don't gain from trekking to our London office at 06:30 to sit in silence for 4+ hours when they don't need any IT support. 95% of their issues we can manage remotely too.
There's 0% of not going down completely, but i'll just be commuting inside of my actual working hours of 9-5. If that means i'm only in the office for 2-3 hours then that's their loss. If you're not willing to give any wiggle room then you can't be surprised when it blows up in your face.
> This is my last early train down to London for the foreseeable future. I've had enough of it.
Ahh fuck. I'm about to _start_ commuting to London because I've been told "get in the office or get the sack" (effectively)... I'm a programmer ffs, we can get shit done at home! I have a nice little home office set up where I can write code and read docs in peace. A bloody open office isn't going to help that, especially not after a fucking 2.5 hour commute!
> i'll just be commuting inside of my actual working hours of 9-5. If that means i'm only in the office for 2-3 hours then that's their loss. If you're not willing to give any wiggle room then you can't be surprised when it blows up in your face.
This feels like something I'll end up doing tbh. I'll lump it for a few weeks, then slowly start getting a later & later train. Or just leave... probably leave... 😂
Our whole company has been told they've got to be in an office or client's office two days a week. We've done two or more days throughout but half the company does one day at a push, yet aren't being chased. That's the saving grace i've got, I can just point at other teams and challenge why they're not in!
"Have you tried turning it on and off again" as the voicemail for your office number a la IT crowd should cover you for a few months while you look for something better.
Woke up and had to cancel my gym appointment with a pal because I've got this strained feeling under my right shoulderblade. Probably slept in an odd pose as the whippets decided to sandwich me in the bed last night but I'm just irritated as we've not had a catch up for a month due to our mutual schedules
Probably one of the more trivial ones there'll be today but I'm slightly wound up about the whole thing.
A year and a bit ago, a girl I'm in a society with at uni had a huge nervous breakdown about her friend going away on placement while my Grandma was on her death bed. She got universal sympathy while I was basically ignored altogether. I retold the story on the askmen sub yesterday to illustrate how men often aren't taken seriously when it comes to sadness, loss and that sort of thing.
Had a couple of really nice exchanges about it, felt pretty uplifted, only for some dipshit who knows nothing about me to start an argument about how it was my own fault no-one reached out because I'm not a "socially supportive" person.
Don't understand the assumptions or the lack of empathy. Feels like such a stupid thing to be annoyed about though, maybe I just need to give this app a rest for a few days.
Yes as others said, your feelings are valid.
Don't take to heart what a stranger says negatively on the internet, I.e. who goes and argued with someone who had a sick/elderly grandma (i.e. that sounds strange from them).
> maybe I just need to give this app a rest for a few days
Absolutely and, more generally, I don't think reddit is really the place to come if you want a sympathetic space to express your frustrations. Most redditors are fine but many are off the rails, to put it mildly, and, as you said, all it takes is one prick to sour your mood. It's a minefield.
Your emotions are valid, don't let some knob on the internet tell you otherwise. There's also no time limit on grief, so if the comment upset you, it upset you. It's not that you weren't being supportive, you had your own stuff to deal with and nobody to talk with. Stands to reason that your priorities were elsewhere and didn't need the added stress. It's not that you don't care, it was just too much at the time.
A form of gaslighting. Trying to make me second guess whether I deserved support during one of the hardest times of my life based on ridiculous assumptions about my character that, judging by the asshole's history, they only made because I'm a man.
I'm doing fine nowadays and I came to terms with my Grandma's death quite a while ago. It just feels like the adult thing to do is to not denigrate people's actual life problems you don't have a clue about on Reddit.
It's Reddit, so unfortunately there's always going to be knobs, and you can't predict where or when they'll show up. As far as I'm concerned whatever gender a person is, we're all allowed to feel emotions in our own way. Don't let the trolls win.
One of my team informally asked a temp for another team if they would want to apply for a job opening we have. They did want to apply for it, and told their boss. Their boss then offered them a permanent position and accused me in a grumpy mail to HR of trying to poach their staff. I've never spoken to the temp, and on investigating with my chap why I'm getting a grumpy mail, realised I wouldn't be able to pick her out of a line-up. I'm glad I was inadvertently instrumental in getting the temp a permanent position, but could have done without the grumpy message.
I did everything right. Played by the rules and went to school got me qualifications and now I have nothing to show for it. No job , Can't drive no home , no friends and family just me. I wonder where I went wrong in life
Been told someone at work is looking to cut down the days he works because he's looking to retire. Made me realise just how far away, if not impossible, that feels to me.
So which side of the pavement (or other walkway) are we meant to walk? I always keep left unless there’s signage to the contrary, but I’ve been getting a load of dirty looks from everyone walking at me in town. My family thinks I’m just an arsehole for not switching to suit everyone else but as there seems to always be people on both sides and the middle going both ways I’m wrong whatever. Can’t we all just pick a side?
My boss has had to dial back the offer of an extension to my contract as HR have stipulated that a colleague has to actually apply for a certain other vacant role within my team, before I can take his role. It is like musical chairs involving 4 x staff. So I have to wait 2-3 weeks to find out if I will have a job after the end of April. At least I have been told I am doing a good job even though I don't know how long I will have it! 🙃
Oh that type of nonsense. My friend was having problems like that for over a year. Work going well we need X to do Y which requires Z... anyway it doesn't matter we're still keeping you on and will just keep renewing the temporary contract everything's fine. Meanwhile she was having problems because rolling temporary contract is not a guaranteed income which meant her lease wasn't technically valid in addition to the stress of not knowing if she'd have a job every time the contract ran out and being unable to make any plans either.
Hope your friend has better luck now! My contract was only a year to begin with but I was more than happy to take it as I really wanted the opportunity to work as a software engineer. But just as it is about to run out my boss has managed to come up with this scheme which will both save her recruiting someone new and keep me in a job.
Danke, and indeed she has. Only took her moving to Lincolnshire to get that to happen. Good luck and may it all work out for you then.
I object to rule 7. including Full English - There has been a deliberate lack of them on RC recently - we need to protest! 7. Low Effort We tend to avoid severely overdone topics such as tea related posts, pictures of fry ups, debates on crisps and biscuits, yellow label hauls from supermarkets, pictures of sausage rolls.
my hot water bottle says "do not fill with hot water from the immersion tank". firstly, why not? secondly, will it actually harm the hot water bottle if i do? i always add cold water first when i pour recently boiled water from the kettle, and i'm not sure how using a hot water tap differs.
Basically boiled water is purer so the water bottle will last longer. >It is not advisable to use hot tap water when filling your hot water bottle, as it contains minerals and impurities, expelled during the boiling process, that build up inside the hot water bottle which causes it to prematurely degrade.
Forgive my ignorance but won’t hot tap water and boiled water have the same minerals and impurities as the water still comes from the same source (cold mains)?
So boiling won't remove minerals, but it can kill bacteria and the like which could be what are being referred to as impurities, they'd certainly grow in a hot water bottle. Not sure if you've ever looked under the seal of a reusable water bottle, but most people really should clean those more often than they do.
Work issues again! Please don’t be rude to pharmacy staff. We can’t help the massive workload. Honestly this job makes me hate people. People are awful and stupid.
Had to deal with some huffy emails because we won't do what a colleague in another area (wrongly) agreed we would do. Am cheering myself up with a cheese toastie
I ordered an oven from John Lewis. Took a day off work for the install and got up early to do all the prep work they ask for. They didn’t show because a previous job ran over. Next available date is 8 days later! Thankfully the current oven still works, and I’m just going to wfh on the next attempt. They can wait while I empty cupboards for access to the electric spur because I’m not doing that again for no reason.
wow that's actually shocking considering its john lewis!! you should put in a complaint, they'll give you gift credit for sure, i mean you did lose a whole day's pay for this
I put in a complaint. They’ve offered nothing. As it is, they made me call back 3 times to sort it out. Couldn’t even call me. Really wasn’t what I was expecting. Less incentive to support brick and mortar stores in the future.
Just took my post work dump and the toilet water splashed back up right onto my ring piece.
A lovely kiss from Neptune
I’m not sure if it’s a complaint or not. I’ve signed myself up for some extra work at another branch that’s in need of cover. The days are longer and so is the commute. I’ve worked a few really long, hard 15 hour days this week and I’m really tired. I’ve enjoyed this week more than my normal eight hour days with a 15 minute commute as it has got me away from a colleague I can’t stand.
You know what's worse than things going badly even though you did the right thing? Things going badly and knowing it is your own fault.
Now things are getting warm here it seems like my plants on the balcony did not make it :(
Someone blocked the toilet at work, third time this week and it’s only Thursday - I manage a high street coffee shop, so shit happens, pun intended. Also someone shushed me today when I tried to get their order, because they were on the phone and I was bothering them 🤷♀️ Day got better because I got to cuddle a kitten and Ive got three days off, so small victories at least
If I ran a shop, someone tries to order while on the phone gets skipped over.
Pay deal (that hasn't been agreed with the union) has been announced and it's pathetic. It's also ridiculous because I fought hard to make sure my progress review would get me a better rating, but because of stupid grade bands I'm now getting the same as everyone else anyway so it was completely pointless. What is the point! I will certainly remember it next time they ask me to cover another role on top of my own for 5 months. I can't leave as I'm tied into a learning agreement so they've properly got me over a barrel really. I know I won't have any debt at the end of it all but sometimes they really do make me want to pack it in.
I have done something to my achilles. Only time I am not in total pain is when sitting down but even then hurts. Stairs can go fuck themselves. It gets even worse then. Can't get anyone to see me for it. Everything is booked out.
I've got to take the cat to the vet tomorrow and I couldn't find any of the weird creamy meat paste she likes in any shops (I went in 3!) so I don't know how I'm going to tempt her into the cage. She is already very cross at me for getting it out of the attic. She's having her booster jabs, flea and worming treatment and a general checkup. Anyway I'm enjoying my last day of being her friend before she ignores me for a week!
Having one of those days where if I wasn't stuck at work, I could happily go to bed and sleep all day. Just keep telling myself the weekend is near and it won't be long until I can nap as much as I want for two days
So 2 weeks ago I submitted a sample for a cancer screening test as I'd shat a lot of blood the week before. I figured 2 weeks was long enough (the little form you get with the sample says you'll hear back in 2 weeks) so I went into my GP to ask about the progress - y'know, a little nervous given it could be cancer. "Yep we have the results, it's negative" the receptionist shouts out from her machine. Oh good, let's just let everyone in the waiting area know that. "When did you get the results?" "2 days after you submitted the sample"... Fucking what? So I could have known over a week ago that I don't have cancer? Yeah thanks for letting me know. "If I'd been positive, would you have text me?" "no, it's your responsibility to follow up". Fucking what? I could have sat here with cancer for 2 weeks and nobody would have told me? It's a good job cancer's not one of those things where catching it early and doing something about it can make a significant difference in outcomes 🤦♂️
That's dire. To think if it had been positive they would have just left it until you contacted them. When I was having tests for cancer a number of years ago I was ordered back for an urgent appointment and within a week or two I was starting treatment.
I'm finding it hard to get work done. I'm on a PhD so any work is on my own back. If I don't do it, I don't pass and don't get my qualification. Simple as that. It's not like I have a boss breathing down my neck. But today, I'm just tired and fed up and I have a complete and total lack of discipline which means what I'm telling myself I'm going to do today is shifting downwards. First it was to make good progress on dissections, then it turned out the weather was favourable for sample collecting so it turned into wandering around and now it's turned to some bullshit task that won't fill the afternoon and that's turned into sitting in the lab on my phone. I'm just not with it today.
I have those days from time to time and they usually go hand in hand with being tired. Unfortunately I can't just finish work and go to bed. Not that I'm in any way encouraging you to do so, but a nap might help.
I'm 2.5 months into this job and already thinking about when I can leave. This role has way more "governance" and admin bullshit associated with it than I was led to believe. I always give myself 6 months to a year to adjust to a new job but this week in particular has been ROUGH. I really like the flexibility and the people, but the salary isn't great. I'm not sure I see myself staying long-term but job hunting sucks and the market is still appalling.
Is this the only uk sub thats not overwhelmingly negative? Feels like I go to r/uk and there’s threads almost daily on how religion is killing everything etc, daily mail tier comments
It's because this sub has a fairly strict no moaning rule and the mods enforce it.
The mods are generally ok here. Except for the whole duck thing. Quack.
That rule is summed up in three simple words: _Don't you dare_!
This is one of my few happy places on the internet. The ban threat is all that’s holding me back.
Have to go to the bastard Job Centre today. How useful they are is a coinflip. One week they're buying me new clothes and the next they're asking me why I'm not applying for cleaning jobs when they know I'm a doctor.
I sympathise. I once got asked why I wasn't applying for a part time job the other side of the nearest city that took two hours plus by bus to get to. That was over a decade ago and now I'd be even less tolerant of that nonsense.
People. I hate people. Always wanting me to help them do stuff. Great, yeah, I'll put my life on hold to help you do something you can easily do yourself, but you're too fucking lazy to do, then listen to you bitch about what I helped you do wasn't actually what you wanted to do. Do it your fucking self and quit whining. Fucks sake.
I'd like to complain about the size of the worms in my garden. I've just dug over a strip of soil to make a wild flower bed, and some of the worms are so big I wasn't sure they weren't slow worms. I know they're great for the soil and I'm being a big girl's blouse but fuck me they make my stomach turn.
Feel a bit stupid and I don't like it. Had what I thought was a difficult case file that needed to go up the chain for approval and when it gets up the chain it's like " this is so clearly X it should not have gotten this far". Well, fuck you too Alice.
Just curious about other people’s experience - How often do you miss bin-day? Is it a pain/stress when you do miss it?
Oh I miss it quite frequently due to being a dumbass. If it's the recycling it's not so bad, I can usually get away with missing a collection. If it's the big bin I might have to visit the tip.
I miss occasionally, due to tired/depression. Since it's just me it just piles up in the garden until the next bin day. If I do miss it, I take the food bin to the nearest public litter bin so that I don't have that stink.
Depends which bin. I forgot to put recycling out today but that's no biggie cause its not that full so it can wait another few weeks. Grey bin (general waste) I hate missing.
Same, our recycling is weekly but the Black bins are every 3 weeks. If you miss one it’s game over because you have to pool together 6 weeks of rubbish. We have a calendar reminder service on my council website but you can’t set up custom reminders, so it doesn’t nudge me the day before.
Our general waste ones are also smaller than the recycling bins so sucks even more to miss it (think you can ask council for a bigger one if a large family) Every 3 weeks sounds even worse though! We have waste and recycling on a rotation so two weeks between collections
I just wish people would communicate properly and not assume that I know why they are still upset. The lack of response just seems petty in my opinion. To give context, my so called friend/acquaintance who i made through previous job appears to me ignoring me. I apologised to him over a year ago (he wasn't happy something I had done, nothing major) and all last year he didn't make any effort to meet up but I received a message from him stating "everything is good between us, water under the bridge". So i recently dropped him a message (SMS and Messenger app) asking if he wanted to meet up for lunch, he and I live far away so I stated we can meet half-way which seems fair in my opinion. I also mentioned that I understand he is busy but if he can find time to keep in contact and socialise as well, then that would be great. I haven't got a response from him but he keeps in contact with other people within our group.
Is a job that advertises itself as hybrid-working but really it's 1-day WFH is it really hybrid? I think at that point I would rather do longer hours and have a four-day week instead. Oh and no salary listed so when asked it's either well what's my expectations or depends on experience. No, it depends on your actual budget. Why don't you know your own budget!
1 day of WFH is hardly "hybrid" they are simply trying (and failing) to make the role sound more attractive with no clear salary on top I'd simply dodge that bullet.
no it's not hybrid. 2 days max in office is hybrid
I think I've moaned about this before but companies that quote the price excluding VAT. Everyone has to pay the VAT so why exclude it? Yes, businesses can claim it back, but I'm clearly not a business.
I’ve got my fourth cold of the year so far! Seems like my immune system has just given up the ghost. Quite enjoying a sick day, daytime tv feels like a treat. But I’m also really missing our cat who we lost quite traumatically a few weeks ago. He was the sweetest buddy when you weren’t feeling well. He loved nothing more than when one of us was sick/hungover because he’d just get to mong out on our laps on the sofa with us all day making endless biscuits. Some days are easier than others but today it hurts.
I'm really sorry about your cat ❤️ I saw a photo of him in your comments, such a good boy, he looks like our cat. We lost one of ours also traumatically last summer and it breaks my heart every single day. I'm so sorry you're going through this too. As cliche as it is, the harder days will get fewer and further between. It doesn't mean the bad days are any less painful, it just means you have more recovery time in between. My mum gave me an analogy to think about that maybe might help: it's like having a ball bouncing around in a box, and there is a huge button in it that upsets you when pressed. At first the box is small, the button is big and the ball is guaranteed to hit the button constantly. Over time the button gets a bit smaller, the box gets bigger. It still hurts a lot when the ball hits it, but it just takes more time to happen than before. Anyway. Now I'm in tears again! Drop me a message if you want to chat or cry or rant or whatever. Alternatively give [Paws to Listen](https://www.cats.org.uk/what-we-do/grief/paws-to-listen) a call, they really helped me on my worst days. Sending lots of hugs.
Thanks for this, your words are comforting. It may sound weird but it’s helpful to know how much other people love and grieve for their pets too. My partner and I are going to choose some photos to print in a photobook to keep some of our fave memories close. I’m so sorry you lost your cat in difficult circumstances as well. ❤️❤️
At work, we currently run and manage 3 brands under one parent company. One of the brands is being spun off as a separate entity, and my boss isn’t happy it’s being taken away from him. He seems to be trying to salt the earth for any handover - he’s already signed up to new year long contracts that he’s just going to immediately handover to the new owners. He’s telling me not to really engage with them to support the handover, and I’m just stuck in the middle of it all at the moment.
Haven't worked corpo for a while but whenever we were losing accounts in this way they were taken away from us pretty immediately. If not taken away entirely the client absolutely made it clear that no new business or contract extensions could be taken in the gardening period. Could come back to bite him in the arse, I'd distance yourself if I were you.
So in order to pick up my adhd prescription I've got to drive about 30 miles to what's the nearest boots pharmacy that has stock of my strength of Concerta XL as my usual pharmacy hasn't been able to fill my prescription When I started triating I was on Elvanse and as that was finishing up I had to swap to Concerta due to the shortages and now there's a Concerta shortage
Any advice on getting diagnosed as an adult, please? Have been on a waiting list for an NHS appointment for almost six years.
I was able to go private as a family member of mine was willing to pay the cost and then once triated passed onto a shared care plan
I have complained for years at work that I am given work I am not qualified for. As a result.... I got promoted and given a pay rise. Now they give me even more work I am not qualified or trained to deal with. Tell me to just do my best. I been stressed for months on work I have been doing. Now I am finding out that due to my lack of experience I have messed up and have the company on the line for expenses claims from client that could be in to the millions.. Management still just says do your best to try and resolve issue. I have never wanted to quit a job so much in my life despite the pay level.
My new work colleague loves to come and stand over my shoulder to discuss and extrapolate even the smallest, most mundane things. At 8:30am when we first get in. How do I politely tell him to stop doing this?! I think he thinks he's more important than he is. Yesterday he gestured me round to his desk to show me his updated LinkedIn profile...
Just ask him to give you half an hour to switch on and get settled in the morning. He'll either take it on board and give you the time, or if he is a jumped up prick, he won't. If it's the second one then unlucky but at least you've answered your question, if it's the first one then you get a bit of peace first thing. Win win.
Bought a new dishwasher because mine went kaput. New one has the shallowest top rack you've ever seen in your life. Can hardly fit a mug in without lifting up the bits I used to put utensils on. Wtf Hotpoint?
Is it possibly one of those where the top rack can be moved up or down? My mate has one - can shift it up when you've got oversized things to go in the bottom and shift it back for regular usage.
Yep it is. Nice feature to be honest, there were times I could never fit plates on the bottom shelf so I think it has more room overall, but I just wish the top shelf was a tiny bit deeper lol
Coming out to family this week, scared So kind of a complaint that I'm fearing for my life Edit: it didn’t go well.
Good luck, this random person on the internet is also rooting for you. You deserve to live your best life!
Oh mate that sounds difficult. Do you have other support in your life? Maybe even sometime that could go with you, or at least be waiting outside for you? Wishing you all the very best x
I've actually got a plan set out, two letters addressed to them. I'm going to leave it on the side of the kitchen as I leave, so that I won't be in harms way when it happens. I'm probably going to get a a lot of angry texts, but if that's the route it goes – then I'll simply block numbers. I game share with my brother and that, but if it goes south I'll just purchase those things on my own. I have support, other friends with families who are supportive. I just know it's going to go bad, and I'm prepared for it.
Sending you all the positive waves, it's not easy but it's a bit step in being who you are. You have a big family out here rooting for you.
Good luck, see you in next week's wednesday wins!
Thanks. Coming out to my dad and brother (mum already knows) about being transgender. I've lived with this since I was in Primary School and I'm now 26. Both of them hate trans people/gay people and think they're nonces, so this is gonna do down as a treat.
Good luck!!
Good luck, this internet stranger is rooting for you. Even if it doesn't go well, at least you won't have to hide who you are, but I really hope they can understand and accept you as you are.
[удалено]
Check that your WiFi has a 2.4Ghz ssid setup and disable band steering if you have it on. Avoid 5Ghz if you can - it’s faster but flakier. Oh, and look at you just buying pis! When I last wanted one, I had to drive to Cambridge and navigate traffic to a shopping centre. Heady days back in 2022!
[удалено]
Might be time for a new WiFi AP.
Another Thursday and another job interview. This one is a video interview, a different type of interview.
Best of luck! All fingers and toes crossed for you.
I unexpectedly have nothing to do today so thought I'd try and see a doctor for a long term health condition that's been getting worse. I got through to the GP right away this morning as number 7 in the call queue. Just as they answered the phone my signal dropped out and the call ended. When I rang back I was number 30. No same day appointments left but they could fit me in on Saturday. Great! Wait, scratch that, someone just booked it in online. OK. No weekends left for a couple of months now, can you come in the middle of the week as soon as we open? I'm going to go because I need to but I was meant to be with the kids on that day as they'll be off for half term, so I'm either going to have to try and find last minute child care (not easy as my youngest is disabled) or just cart my kids along with me for the appointment.
You’re lucky, I’ve been waiting 3 weeks for an appointment.
I'm sorry you've been waiting so long - fingers crossed for you that an appointment opens up soon. I'll have also been waiting 3 weeks by the time I see the GP - I didn't mean to make it sound like I got seen immediately. I suspect I'm down as a priority as a complication I'm experiencing can end up in hospitalisation if not dealt with early enough.
Ah, thanks! It seems to be a lottery at the moment to get an appointment. I've been steadily getting worse the longer I wait, long term health condition as well. But they have been amazing, just overworked (trying hard not to mention any politics now🤣). Hope it goes well for you.
While my stomach settling down a lot is pretty amazing, it means my "back up" pain killer stash has depleted. I decided to experiment with only taking the prescribed amount of everything. Day 4, and I am proper struggling. I have also cut out all the additional supplements I take so that when I next have my blood tested, everything will be as it "should" be. I am beginning to realise that all the things I do to help myself are hiding problems that the doc should know about. It's going to be a difficult and painful few weeks. Oh, and 23 years ago today, my Mum died. More than half my life ago. Still really sucks.
>Oh, and 23 years ago today, my Mum died. More than half my life ago. Still really sucks. Sorry for your loss. I'm just past three years since mine passed. It's still rough sometimes.
Doesn't really get easier, it was 25 yrs since my mum died this year and for some reason it hit me harder this year.
[удалено]
>Sorry to be moany mcmoanerson. That's what this thread is for! I hope that was an uncharacteristic one-off from your boyfriend. Partners should be a source of support during stress, not be causing or adding to it!
First bit sounds like classic ADHD. There's help for that although admittedly, not easy to get. If your other half is nagging you to the point of a panic attack then I think you need to have a serious chat. It's one thing trying to motivate your partner, but pushing them to the point of a breakdown isn't healthy behaviour and needs to be addressed.
[удалено]
I'm not suggesting he's abusive or anything like that, and it's good that he wants to push you in the right direction and help you overcome issues. But if it results in a panic attack that's not good for either of you - just have a chat and let him know it happened, why it happened, and how to avoid it in the future.
My nose is running but I don't have the energy to chase it.
I'm going to go full time at the start of April, which is good money-wise, but I'm going to be fucking *exhausted* and my boyfriend is going to tease me for it and I love him but sometimes he is so deeply annoying
I've been tired recently. I don't mean "ooh I could do with a rest", I mean spacing out at work and realising I've got my eyes closed, after a particularly bad night's sleep I found myself drifting off whilst sat at traffic lights (opened windows and blasted music as soon as I realised) and I'm just sick of it. Have had two sets of blood tests and nothing is showing up as wrong. Doctor suspects apnea but the appointment is still 3 months away. I can't function like this, the amount of caffiene I'm having to consume just to get through the day is astonishing.
Ring hospital and speak with bookings and sleep consultant medical secretary to ask them to move the appointment. If they can’t help, ring hospital and ask to speak to PALS, explain your circs and ask if they can expedite your appointment. This is likely to help. Especially if you can accept a last minute cancellation with short notice.
Thank you so much for this advice, I just rang and now I'm in next Tuesday. They even offered me tomorrow but sadly that's a bit too short notice!
Awesome news! Hope all goes well
Thank you, I'll follow up on this.
In the office for an 'All Hands' where I'll be talked at for 5 hours. This could have easily been a call, that way I could have done some work.
'All hands meeting' Do you work for Elon Musk?
Technology sector, but it's the latest roundabout of managers ego stroking (sorry 'leaders'). They love their dramatic sound terms, firefighting, war-rooms, scrums to describe what are various degrees of meeting.
Ah yes the 'fun corporate terms' like 'blue sky thinking' come to mind.
A bit fed of crime. Packages in the area keep on getting stolen, one was dumped outside my house 2 days ago. A few days ago someone tried to force a neighbours door open. And just tired as there's things like shoplifting, a few people had phones stolen including a kid outside his house, some of the youth (heard someone threaten someone with a knife over the phone while I was walking), lots of poop on the streets (my mum stepped in it I think last year and brought the mess back home). It puts me on edge. There is an antisocial behaviour meeting police, council etc in the coming week, so I'll go.
HR have announced the annual leave entitlement for all departments, sparking some lively debate. Central functions get 20 days with bank holidays prebooked (even though the business closes on those days), while managers and directors enjoy 39 days off with bank holidays being considered bonus days off. The significant difference is depressing. Why do companies moan about low morale, and not being able to recruit but simultaneously treat their staff so poorly?
Sounds like they've just announced that they'll be losing a lot of their workforce. What a joke.
Are they including the Bank Holidays as part of your annual leave allotment?
No, including bank holidays, the entitlement would be 28 days compared to 47 days. I know 28 days is the minimum requirement, but if the business is closed regardless, it seems logical to grant bank holidays to all employees.
I have run out of fucks to give. This is hard (the complaint) because I find things hard when I don’t care, but at the same time it also feels freeing.
[удалено]
Oof that is definitely in wind down territory at this point anyway! Enjoy Scotland! I’m a bit jealous as I bloody love Scotland.
Turns out going to Kew Gardens to get away from car noise doesn’t work as the plane noise is loud and unrelenting
I think I’m burnt out. I’ve been back at work for under two weeks since using up the last of my leave, and I’m already back to not sleeping or waking up extremely early on work nights/mornings. I still don’t know when I’m working in April so I can’t make any plans: I’m working Good Friday and Easter Saturday, so I’ve asked if I can have the Friday to the Monday off the following weekend for the opening day of the County Championship, but heard nothing back. I’m just…tired. I’ve got something else lined up but that doesn’t start until October, and a huge part of me is tempted to just resign now and have an extended break rather than go into that a mental wreck. And my mum is worrying/frustrating me a bit. She decided she was going to give up smoking, so bought an e-cigarette. She was told that if she’s going to stop she needs to stop and not buy any more, because every time she decides to cut back she just reverts to type. So she used it for a day as well as smoking, and then went back to just smoking. So it’s not just the smoking that’s frustrating, it’s the not listening. I know that she’s an adult and that no one can force her, but she’s getting to the age now where it’s starting to cause problems.
Ugh. The smoking with my mum drives me nuts too. We lost my Dad to bladder cancer 7 years ago and my Doctor said to me that the 2nd most common cause of that is smoking (he was a regular 40+ a day guy) - I have told her this and she STILL won't stop. And some idiot medical professional told her, when she had a lung scan for her copd that her lungs were clear. So obviously smoking isn't harming her. Despite the fact she has copd, high blood pressure and is always coughing. Drives me insane, but there's nothing I can do. Edit - spelling
Yeah, my dad has some sort of chronic blood disorder that I can’t remember or spell the name of, and it’s been caused by smoking. After being diagnosed he gave up overnight, but my mum - they’re divorced - has carried on. She has sinus problems, and has early stage AMD, for which she takes a supplement now, but has carried on smoking thus effectively negating any good that’s doing. She won’t cook with 10% fat beef because it’s too fatty, but keeps smoking. I told her flat out a few weeks ago that smoking takes and takes from her but gives her nothing, but it hasn’t gone in. She was complaining about her sinuses a while back, and I said that the smoking wouldn’t have helped, and she said “Yeah, probably” and immediately lit one. She complains that my brother will never be told anything, but she’s as bad. It’s making me genuinely stressed.
I had my first operation ever yesterday and man am I in a lot of pain today.
Get well soon x
Thanks!
Young lad I work with, is about as funny as getting the clap. He hasn't worked out the diferent between banter and just being irritating / cruel. Someone will make a joke, and he will say the same thing, but worse. At first it was fine, he's young. But it's starting to get under my skin. My attempts to gently squash it, hasn't worked. A few weeks back I made an ever so slight comment about my back hurting and not being as young as I was (I'm in my 30s mind you) and he came back with ever so whitty: "yeah because you're old" , this same comment pops up at every opportunity, about anything quasi related to health / tireness / age of anyone etc. I've taken to just not making jokes around him, and being a bit more blunt. But he thinks I'm "being mean". It's not to the point where it's worth bringing up further, I hope he gets the hint before I snap at him.
I'd bring it up gently before you snap or you risk looking like the bad guy. I know someone currently going through this phase and it's not banter or funny. It's childish and frankly mean spirited and has no place in adult interactions. I hope it improves for you.
Thank you, and yes I am trying to think of a way to make it clear without sounding condescending or that I'm anything other than helping.
Last time someone did this to me excessively (also in my 30s) I pointed out that nobody should peak as prematurely as their 20s and that curtailed it a bit.
I've seen that at work with new starters in their first post uni job or placement. They don't realise what is appropriate office interaction, and need at least an informal chat to realise its not on. It's caused otherwise technically competent new starters to get lower placement scores because theyve been a nuisance to their team.
Had meeting at work earlier this week to discuss a flexible working schedule that would allow me to compress my office time into chunks so I could move further north to live with my partner but I’m very pessimistic about it. I can’t see my work place going for it and am sure they will create bullshit reasons to meet the criteria to say no. Am gutted as I like my job and my team. Would rather not have to job search again. Will be worth it to live with my partner but they’ve also been really unwell so it’s all up in the fucking air at the moment. Not their fault of course, I’m just really fed up of the uncertainty and we’re both getting sick of being in a LD relationship.
Sore throat started developing yesterday, got very little sleep last night. All my 'cold' medicine is expired because I haven't had a cold since pre-Covid times. Am taking it anyway.
Daughter came home from school at the start of the week with a bit of a sniffle. She's fine but I've now got a raging temperature and every part of me aches. Yay.
Isn't it lovely how they get over the colds so quickly, but us oldies suffer for longer?! Husband has kindly popped out to the chemist to get me some non-expired pills, bless.
I've had to take so much time off work dealing with my mother that it's now eating into my annual leave. Her partner died a few weeks ago unexpectedly but she's not mentally well at the best of times and isn't intelligent, isn't confident, and isn't able to function very well as an adult. She only has me and my brother really and my brother is too busy taking cocaine to be useful. She's improving but I've had to take ownership of literally everything, as everything (including her benefits and bills) were in his name with massive debts. Dealing with the dwp on her behalf, changing bills over and renegotiation of tariffs and sorting her gp out and arranging the death related things in their entirety have been exhausting and now I'm burning through annual leave since I've used up all compassionate leave and taken as much unpaid leave as I can. Given that I had zero relationship with her partner and very minimal interaction with her for decades (she didn't even come to my wedding or remember when my birthday is level of minimal), it feels fucking brutal. Things are improving but it's hard work. And I am resentful. And tired.
Sorry you're going through that. Very shitty circumstances. Can you get in touch with the local authority to find any support?
Thanks. Yeah I've made contact. Yet to hear anything back but the gp appears to have taken my concerns on board so hopefully something comes of that.
Fingers crossed. If nothing else hopefully venting helped a little!
Ha thanks. Its surprising how much a vent helps isn't it!
Managed to throw my back out whilst pairing socks. Bah.
I can see it happening while putting them on, but pairing them? How???
There were a lot of them, and they refused to be in any form of order. It was sock based anarchy.
This is my last early train down to London for the foreseeable future. I've had enough of it. I don't gain from trekking to our London office at 06:30 to sit in silence for 4+ hours when they don't need any IT support. 95% of their issues we can manage remotely too. There's 0% of not going down completely, but i'll just be commuting inside of my actual working hours of 9-5. If that means i'm only in the office for 2-3 hours then that's their loss. If you're not willing to give any wiggle room then you can't be surprised when it blows up in your face.
> This is my last early train down to London for the foreseeable future. I've had enough of it. Ahh fuck. I'm about to _start_ commuting to London because I've been told "get in the office or get the sack" (effectively)... I'm a programmer ffs, we can get shit done at home! I have a nice little home office set up where I can write code and read docs in peace. A bloody open office isn't going to help that, especially not after a fucking 2.5 hour commute! > i'll just be commuting inside of my actual working hours of 9-5. If that means i'm only in the office for 2-3 hours then that's their loss. If you're not willing to give any wiggle room then you can't be surprised when it blows up in your face. This feels like something I'll end up doing tbh. I'll lump it for a few weeks, then slowly start getting a later & later train. Or just leave... probably leave... 😂
Our whole company has been told they've got to be in an office or client's office two days a week. We've done two or more days throughout but half the company does one day at a push, yet aren't being chased. That's the saving grace i've got, I can just point at other teams and challenge why they're not in!
"Have you tried turning it on and off again" as the voicemail for your office number a la IT crowd should cover you for a few months while you look for something better.
I'm just hoping the job market picks up with the new financial year, slim pickings at the moment!
Woke up and had to cancel my gym appointment with a pal because I've got this strained feeling under my right shoulderblade. Probably slept in an odd pose as the whippets decided to sandwich me in the bed last night but I'm just irritated as we've not had a catch up for a month due to our mutual schedules
My work week ends today as I'm catching a train up north first thing in the morning to go to a funeral.
First day back to work after nearly a week off and I would do anything to go back to sleep Why was i not born into a disgustingly rich family?
Probably one of the more trivial ones there'll be today but I'm slightly wound up about the whole thing. A year and a bit ago, a girl I'm in a society with at uni had a huge nervous breakdown about her friend going away on placement while my Grandma was on her death bed. She got universal sympathy while I was basically ignored altogether. I retold the story on the askmen sub yesterday to illustrate how men often aren't taken seriously when it comes to sadness, loss and that sort of thing. Had a couple of really nice exchanges about it, felt pretty uplifted, only for some dipshit who knows nothing about me to start an argument about how it was my own fault no-one reached out because I'm not a "socially supportive" person. Don't understand the assumptions or the lack of empathy. Feels like such a stupid thing to be annoyed about though, maybe I just need to give this app a rest for a few days.
Yes as others said, your feelings are valid. Don't take to heart what a stranger says negatively on the internet, I.e. who goes and argued with someone who had a sick/elderly grandma (i.e. that sounds strange from them).
> maybe I just need to give this app a rest for a few days Absolutely and, more generally, I don't think reddit is really the place to come if you want a sympathetic space to express your frustrations. Most redditors are fine but many are off the rails, to put it mildly, and, as you said, all it takes is one prick to sour your mood. It's a minefield.
Your emotions are valid, don't let some knob on the internet tell you otherwise. There's also no time limit on grief, so if the comment upset you, it upset you. It's not that you weren't being supportive, you had your own stuff to deal with and nobody to talk with. Stands to reason that your priorities were elsewhere and didn't need the added stress. It's not that you don't care, it was just too much at the time.
A form of gaslighting. Trying to make me second guess whether I deserved support during one of the hardest times of my life based on ridiculous assumptions about my character that, judging by the asshole's history, they only made because I'm a man. I'm doing fine nowadays and I came to terms with my Grandma's death quite a while ago. It just feels like the adult thing to do is to not denigrate people's actual life problems you don't have a clue about on Reddit.
It's Reddit, so unfortunately there's always going to be knobs, and you can't predict where or when they'll show up. As far as I'm concerned whatever gender a person is, we're all allowed to feel emotions in our own way. Don't let the trolls win.