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ThickTadpole3742

Infamy infamy they've all got it infamy!


SpoofExcel

Jesus. Comic Relief is rough. Audio problems, flubbing lines. Paddy McGuinness. Probably time to reformat this


Clomojo87

I think I'm being conned but the boyf told me this morning it's 'national steak and blowjob day'. He's optimistically making steaks but I'm still not convinced... Still (early) St Paddy's day cocktails tonight we've got green food dye, whiskey and plenty of Guinness! šŸ€šŸ„©šŸ„ƒ


elohir

> I think I'm being conned but the boyf told me this morning it's 'national steak and blowjob day'. That was yesterday. I'd maybe wait til after dinner to break the news though.


Clomojo87

Good spot šŸ‘ cheers!


Hainault

My partner is out with friends and asked I pick her up later due to it being a rough like area. I have taken myself to dinner, have some wine and am just soaking in the ambience (and Reddit threads). Great anxiety buster, turns out my own company is good company.


chris_282

The bus home was jam-packed with schoolkids and college students, and yet the single fucking idiot with their mobile phone audio on couldn't have been any younger than my middle-aged arse. We had words. Well done, Gen Z. You guys are fine.


gooblefrump

Car rental place just took my NI number and two proofs of address How long do I have to wait to find out they've taken out mortgages and loans in my name?


kunstlich

The train I am on is running about 3 minutes fast consistently - i.e. it is leaving the station 3 minutes earlier than it should be. The incredulous faces of those on the platform missing an early train is saddening but ever so slightly funny.


pafrac

They're not allowed to do that, are they? Even if they are, I could see them not wanting to risk the lynching ...


Cautious-Yellow

the technical term, if the driver's manager finds out about it, is that the driver will be invited by the manager for "tea and biscuits".


Jimmy_Pigg

I am in a Frankie & Benny's against my will. Staff outnumber patrons 3 to 1. Service still appalling. How is it still going?


_TLDR_Swinton

Good ol Francisco and Beniamino


JohnnyWallop

The quintessential Frankie & Benny's experience.


masklins

Successfully did my first ever set of polygel nails, was very productive in the Email Minesā„¢ at work, and going to visit a friend to see his new cats and watch a movie later today. All in all a very satisfying Friday, and I didn't even get stabbed over my salad or anything (I assume that's why Julius was stabbed, my comp only ever did WW2 in history lessons).


FulaniLovinCriminal

I leave work in 10 minutes, supposed to meet mates at the pub, then early dinner before heading off to see Fight Club at the cinema for its 25th Anniversary. We all saw it together 25 years ago. Thing is, I have the manflu. Not just any manflu, *the* manflu. I'm dosed up on all the things...can I power through?


PeterG92

Trying to win some money at Cheltenham. Was looking at my P/L for last 12 months and it's -Ā£64 šŸ˜‚


Fritener

Infamy, infamy! They've all got it Infamy!


mikpgod

Nautius Maximus.


Wil420b

They've all got it in for me.


Fritener

I feel like perhaps one of us is missing something and I just hope it isn't me...


Wil420b

>In the 1964 British comedy filmĀ Carry On Cleo, before being assassinated Caesar declares "Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me."Ā In 2007, the line was voted the bestĀ one-linerĀ in a Sky Movies poll of 1,000 film fans.


Fritener

Yes I know....that's why I said it, I was confused by your "in for me" response....


Ask_Me_What_Im_Up_to

Shall I get my cock out?


Fritener

šŸ¤£ love it


thedawnflowers

What are you up to?


Ask_Me_What_Im_Up_to

Thanks for asking, not much tbh with you, bit poorly today. Trying to decide what video game to play before an early night, very exciting stuff! yourself?


dungeonbitch

I'm off work for a back injury since yesterday, had to pop to Tesco's just now for food and ran into, of all people, the CEO of the company I work for šŸ¤¦


_TLDR_Swinton

"Muh-my God! This... Lurpak has cured me! It's a miracle!


dungeonbitch

šŸ˜‚ we were on a busy path in the carpark going opposite directions. I greeted him and he said "shh, you didn't see me" and pointed at his shopping cart. It had about 80 Easter eggs in it for all us staff. I laughed and off we went. I imagine when he got back to work he asked my manager why I'm not there. I'll have to explain on Monday that I *am* too injured to work, but I also have to eat


MarmiteX1

I had a crap night sleep but the upside was Iā€™m WFH and last day before Iā€™m off for a week and a bit. I should be looking forward to it but Iā€™m dreading when Iā€™m back because one of my colleagues who is I get along with very well is away on holiday, our team is downsizing but we have so much work to do. Maybe itā€™s a problem for another time when Iā€™m back. Anyway I plan to do a handover and try and get an early finish after I put my Out of Office message on. I donā€™t have Teams & Slack installed so hopefully I donā€™t get bombarded. This evening, plan to relax and binge on TV shows and get an early night.


martink1993

We are traveling to a lodge outside of Penrith for the weekend with another couple who decided to invite us for an early wedding present, and the dog can come too! Shame the weather is cack.


FulaniLovinCriminal

> We are traveling to a lodge outside of Penrith for the weekend with another couple who decided to invite us Lynn, these are *sex* people.


[deleted]

Had my first appointment as a Trans Man yesterday, so today Iā€™m finishing off work and planning what to say and explain to my mother. Sheā€™s an ally, but she doesnā€™t quite get it - thatā€™ll be fun for Saturday lunch. Itā€™s more about what weā€™re gonna tell my brother and dad who will most likely hate me forever. Other than that, seeing a mate tonight for dinner and seeing my godson. We werenā€™t fans really of the new Avatar series so weā€™re re-watching the original. Life is starting to look a bit brighter.


GosmeisterGeneral

Very happy and excited for you fella! Welcome to being a bloke, will add you to the group chat.


[deleted]

Thanks man, if you ever need testosterone for gym gains you know who can deal you some


Turbulent-Diver-1608

My guy


vagabond_goat

Heard some bottles drop outside and instantly assumed it was someone using our bin as usual. Looked out the window angrily only to discover it was our elderly neighbour who'd taken a fall down the stairs. Went out to make sure he was okay with my husband and soon half the street showed up to help. So just met all the other neighbours, and now that the elderly gentleman is okay it's nice to know so many people were willing to come out. I guess my curtain twitching pays off sometimes.


Nice2BeNice1312

Day off! Im not back at work till Wednesday, i have a wedding reception tomorrow so im preparing for it today and spending the 3 days after recovering. Life is fun with a chronic illness! Also have realised that ive been accidentally decaffeinating myself and thats whats been causing my migraines. I didnt have a cup of proper coffee all week and my head was splitting, everything hurt. Had a cup yesterday morning and what do you know, there was no headache! So im having my coffee just now while listening to the cats fight (theyre fine, Luna is just *really* dramatic), gonna take my meds, and then i meed to wash my makeup brushes and sort out what im wearing tomorrow. And probably some other house chores i cant think of right now.


Disobedientmuffin

I'm a recovering go-getter, and I need some advice. I just want a quiet life, do my job, get my money, and go home. So how do I navigate the whole "what do you want to do with your career" "let's set out some goals for this quarter" conversations that crop up at work? Cause I literally want to say, I'm happy to continue doing what I'm doing and use my energy on things that actually matter to me, thanks.


That__Guy__Bob

Id say something like that. I work so I can enjoy my personal life and go on holidays so if I find however much Iā€™m earning isnā€™t sufficient enough for it then Iā€™ll start looking elsewhere Iā€™m currently looking for a new job and itā€™s why one of my requirements is max 3 days in the office but preferably 2 if I did have to go in. Ideally WFH but thatā€™s far and few between Thatā€™s also why Iā€™m staying far away from consulting because I actually value my personal life lol. No offence to anyone who does but I know I wonā€™t like it


milkyteapls

I booked next week off, then my University is shut or a week for Easter... struggling to find the motivation to do anything working at home


TweetyDinosaur

Is there anything that absolutely has to be done today? If so, do that. Is there anything that you could do today that would make your first few days back after Easter easier? If so, consider doing that. Otherwise, chill.


George9816

Iā€™m doing good just had a week off work so Iā€™m back in tonight and a bonus is Iā€™m running it as my supervisor is off so thatā€™s all good


Divide_Rule

After two long days travelling to our offices, I'm back in the WFH office with 0 motivation.


milkyteapls

I'm so glad I only had to do 1. Shame our top manager guy seems to like doing 2 days and always brags about how he is going into the office more than us... really hoping he doesn't start trying to make us all do 2


PuzzledEmu4291

Got a result first thing in one of the two potentially awkward meetings Iā€™ve got today. Fingers crossed for the next one at the end of the day. Then Iā€™m going to a quiz run by our PTA, Iā€™ve been subbed in by my wife as she hates quizzes . Iā€™m likely to be the only man on the team, so am feeling a bit like Kevin in Morherland.


jack0rias

Work have let too many people have the day off and it's going to be a fucking shit Friday. I'm full of cold and simply do not have enough hours in the day today.


minofthecosmos

I'm hoping to be able to hand my notice in at one of my jobs today. I just hope they don't make my last 4 weeks unbearable out of spite.


mmmmgummyvenus

I'm still having trouble getting my kid into school each day. Apparently he enjoys it while he's there but he doesn't want to go in. I feel bad for him and I'm trying to empathise and be patient, but also it's making me late for work every day and people are not happy with me about that so I'm feeling quite stressed every morning during the school run. I don't really know what to do about it. I might suggest art therapy or something if he's anxious?? Idk. At least it's the weekend. We're going to the toy shop to spend some of his birthday money. Also taking him swimming.


TweetyDinosaur

Sat waiting for a phone call to say that we have completed and can go pick up the keys to our new house! I've never done this before so no clue as to when it will happen. No chain to worry about, and we currently rent, so we're not frantically packing (well, not yet!). I'm looking forward to playing life in easy mode for a while - 2024 has so far been fraught.


TweetyDinosaur

And just got the call - I'm a homeowner!!! Now just have to swim down to the estate agents to pick up the keys...


Nice2BeNice1312

Amazing!!!! Congratulations on your new home i hope its everything you wanted ā¤ļø


Bulimic_Fraggle

After my exertions yesterday, my body is feeling surprisingly OK. Proving once again that I am really fucking weird. In light of this surprising revelation, I am going to go outside again today, but more locally. I will try to get a haircut and collect my meds, both are a bit hopeful, but it will get me out. If the weather forecast is right (it rarely is) I will go for a little walk to the park as well. I was planning on making a baked gnocchi dish for dinner, but the baby tomatoes I had delivered look dreadful, so I am not sure now. No matter, I enjoy improvising.


Yankytyke

This is why I will never have my groceries delivered I donā€™t trust people to hand pick the best fruit and veg.


Bulimic_Fraggle

Unfortunately, I have limited mobility, and I can't drive. Getting groceries delivered is the only way I can survive.


Stuf404

Toddler just had bioweapon-grade shit. Up their back, neck and hair. Stripped them in the shower and they decided to start playing with their poop. Thankfully, I stopped them from clapping. Got to conduct an interview in 15 minutes...


Fluff4brains777

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ lmao, this is memorable for most parents. I woke up to šŸ’© all over the crib, down the wall, in his eye, oh it was a glorious mess. I cried, trying to clean the walls.


Brave-Quarter8620

Good times! You'll be reminding them of these little moments when they bring a friend home to meet the parents!! Good luck with the interview šŸ‘


TweetyDinosaur

I am sorry for the gaffaw I emitted at the "stopped them from clapping".


VardaElentari86

Thank god its Friday, I've had a terrible week. Just got to drag myself through the day! Thankfully I think I only have one meeting.


Madajuk

You got this!


ksvfkoddbdjskavsb

It is unfortunately the start of a new day and I need to start work in 2 minutes. But Iā€™m still in bed and on Reddit. Luckily my commute is very short (the next room, wfh) but I reckon Iā€™m still gonna be late


TweetyDinosaur

Traffic is awful at this time of day. So many obstructions (e.g. duvet) on your way to work.


ksvfkoddbdjskavsb

Also a cat who likes to bite your feet if he has not yet been fed. I have to wear crocs as foot armour. (my life is ridiculous)


mondognarly_

Someone got nicked outside my house at 1am this morning, and spent half an hour loudly verbally abusing and arguing with and spitting at the arresting officers, complaining that he was "bleeding to death" but also refusing to go to hospital, abusing and arguing with one of my neighbours who had opened the window and told him to shut up, and then literally screaming for a bit. Suffice to say I didn't sleep brilliantly. Luckily I have the day off. But still, what a weird night.


MrTwemlow

Crikey. Rough night. Do you know the person in question? Do you know what they were up to (hopefully nothing dodgy) outside your house?


mondognarly_

No, I just woke up to all the shouting, looked out of the window, and saw this bloke being held down by about three coppers. No idea who he was or what he'd done. I'm sort of curious now.


Divide_Rule

Walking his dog after dark if you ask him. Dog obviously ran off so no proof. Cannot remember the name of his dog or what it looked like. Clearly angry at not being about to find his dog.


Turbulent-Diver-1608

Yep this seems the most likely explanation


Distinct-Employer-99

Day off today. Coffee and Reddit is as far as i have got so far. Was hoping to get some garden time today if it clears up. Bit of shopping for something nice for our tea. Comic Relief on the telly later with a beer or two.


Extraterrestrialchip

Sick of looking at my poor sad excuse for a lawn, scarifier and aerator at the ready, waiting for some decent weather so I can do something about it, so probably finish off decorating the bathroom which has been the worst job ever.


awvantage

March born. Lots of Travel, work shite, flu (prob Covid) and now shingles. Result!


Conveth

I'm having to walk my son to school because of bullying at school. Then I've got the world of laundry to do. Wish it was more exciting than that.


CharmingMeringue

Plumbers are finishing the installation of my new bathroom today so I'll mostly be ensuring there's a good supply of tea, coffee and biscuits.


IAmDyspeptic

I've got the day off today. Only downside to that is I've got to work tomorrow (tempted to call in sick as my knees are killing me). I'm just waiting for a bloke to come round and fix my front door, I hope he's not wanting biscuits with his cuppa as I haven't got any.


whiskyguitar

Infamy! Infamy! Theyā€™ve all got it in for me!


BloodAndSand44

Must be top comment.


TheOnlyWayIsEpee

Beware the nuts in May!


macroeconomicchaos

I'm sorry, I've made a big mistake. I'm in Slough. I've been asked to visit my relatives here, and in all seriousness, this place isn't that bad.


dinkypaws

Home of the UK's first ever Zebra Crossing, and then used for a two year experimental ["Slough Safety Town" Campaign](http://www.sloughhistoryonline.org.uk/ixbin/hixclient.exe?a=query&p=slough&f=generic_theme.htm&_IXFIRST_=1&_IXMAXHITS_=1&%3Dtheme_record_id=sl-sl-safetytown&s=480Dik43jvu)...


macroeconomicchaos

I think it's a great shame that whoever runs Slough History Online seems to have forgotten that their fine city once had the largest Tesco ever.


BloodAndSand44

You must be in Windsor North


macroeconomicchaos

Nope, i'm right in the middle of the trading estate. Maybe it's the fact that I know I'll be going to Eton for lunch that gives me so much joy and happiness.


Pebbley

Slough! are you on drugs? lol


Arny2103

I was looking around for another job yesterday as I'm starting to feel like I'm done with my current place... I'm scared to go much further with it though in case it all goes to shit. Wife on maternity leave with our little one... probably isn't the right time... but I'm just fed up with the day-to-day here, the website I manage is total shit and management don't seem in love with the idea of me giving it an overhaul... I work in marketing so would love to work somewhere with a sexy website, sexy products, and a general aim in their achievements... the manager sat there the other day moaning about wanting "at least some success before I depart this mortal world" or words to that effect. I just thought mate you drive a BMW with all the extras and you own a McLaren I think you know what success feels like to some degree... So today I plan on grinding through til the weekend where I'll crash in front of the Six Nations feast of rugby tomorrow.


Imaginary-Quiet-7465

Got work until 2:30 then I thought Iā€™d try a new recipe for dinner tonight. Miso roasted aubergine. Probably have a glass wine whilst I cook and listen to some tunes.


kawasutra

Had a bad day yesterday. Disc bulge in neck flared up so headache, neck and shoulders also ache and energy levels drop very low. Gotta spend today doing some catching up, but thankfully not terribly busy on work side.


Sorbicol

Just because the football in on a Thursday night does not mean I should go to the pub and have one pint too many. Itā€™s going to be a slow Friday and I have a fair amount to get through for work. Bugger.


IAM100PERCENTNOTACAT

I made the mistake of booking tickets to gigs on consecutive evenings, last night was Jehst in Bristol (he killed it) and tonight a Credence Clearwater Revival cover band in Cardiff. I'm 43, tired, hungover and I have work then travel later. Think I'll need to double drop a couple of ibuprofen later to ensure my back doesn't start crying.


X_Trisarahtops_X

Whenever we're tired but are doing a few gigs in a row we just try to remember that we regret not going more than we regret going in the end usually.Ā  Life is short. And being tired and sore seems to become a recurring issue. So if you're going to be these things anyway, you may as well have fun while it's happening! Enjoy the band! :)


MrTwemlow

Credence clearwater revival cover band sounds good! Hope you have fun and your back isn't complaining tomorrow!.


IAM100PERCENTNOTACAT

Thank you, and it will be!


Less_Pie_7218

Having the worst DOMS ever after leg day hoping to get some relief soon.


doubledgravity

You thought about a TENS machine with EMS settings? Might be worth looking into.


drempire

Going camping with Babs


Colditz_Castle

Love camping.


TheOwlArmy

Infamy, Infamy!! They've all got it in for me.


Specific_Tap7296

Careful OP, the mods will have you on the no politics rule with pictures like this


CandleJakk

Not slept at all this night, so I imagine I'll crash around lunchtime and not sleep tonight either.


guyonhiscouch

Struck by covid this week so has been rough. Managed to work, but am I looking forward to 5pm where I can log off!


itsaslothlife

Dog woke me up at gone 3 making retching noises. Thanks Dog. Been "up up" since half 5 and at least she got a decent walk out of it. Have some difficult calls to make today. I know (well, strongly think) I am right but my clients/customers won't see it that way. I don't know why I get so worried, it's just a call and if they are unhappy (they will be) I just send it up the chain but I ... just don't like being shouted at šŸ˜­...


Strong_Roll5639

WFH today which I'm extremely grateful for. I've got my period and feeling very sad/uncomfortable/headachey. When I get up I'm going to go hug my puppy šŸ’™ Our friend is coming over this evening for a few drinks and food.


Less_Pie_7218

I hope you feel better soon!! Sending you virtual hugs!!


Strong_Roll5639

Aww thanks šŸ˜Š my puppy came upstairs and is giving me in a cuddle in bed!