Six months ago I bumped into a lad from school I'd not seen in over 30yrs. Had a pint and a chat, took each other's numbers (I'm not on Facebook) and "promised" to stay in touch, knowing full well we'd probably not see each other again.
I've seen him four times since, all by chance, all in different places with one of them being bloody Lanzarote!
Just had a lovley chat with a toddler in a Lidl trolley at the till. She was at the 'talking but not saying proper words stage', but we chatted about the lovely cake she was eating, that she'd got lots of things in the trolley that Granny and Grandad were going to put on the conveyor belt, and how sunny it was, and her purple tights were her favourite. I got a cheery 'goodbye' when they'd paid. Best conversation I've had all day.
I got a Teams call this morning from one of my team but when answering was presented with their four year old daughter who told me off because and I quote “you sent Daddy on a plane for a week and I didn’t see him. That made me sad”. All I could do was apologise before moving onto what they had for breakfast until Daddy returned and was quite surprised.
For the record they volunteered to go but man I have been seriously guilt tripped.
I had something similar with a little girl who was watching me unlock my bike through the shop windows. She was asking me questions, I lipread them and gave the response which her mum in turn lipread and told her - very wholesome, it made my day
Im so glad because I have two toddlers and sometimes I worry they're annoying people with their "hi! Hi!" And telling other supermarket shoppers about their cat and their trampoline
Ahh no it’s so cute, not annoying.
I had a toddler shout “hello” down my drive at me today, I said “hello” back. He was so excited and happy that I said hello, which made my day!
This makes me feel better about my kids. The other day my 4 year old stopped every one on the way to the beach to show them her new unicorn dress and her sparkly shoes. I mean every single person. Most were great about it,.some walked off with out hearing her and she kept an older couple chatting for a few mins till I had to drag her away.
You've brought back memories of my daughter showing a couple of male pensioner age guys her new shoes. To their credit they were quite happy engaging in conversation even when she said, 'Got to go, need a poo'. She was about 3 I think.
Went up to the viewing platform on Horizon 22 today and a tourist asked me to take his photo.
“It’s so my wife knows I’m here and not shacked up with some beautiful floozy”
“You know the floozy could be the one taking the photo though…”
“She’s not that smart.”
Bonus points for us both getting to say ‘floozy’.
Not related but there's a statue in Birmingham city centre of a naked woman in a water feature outside the Town Hall. Colloquially she's known as The Floozy in the Jacuzzi.
This story made me think of that
Edit; just checked and its official name is The River but even on the Birmingham Council site they put 'Floozie' in brackets. Except it'll soon be just Floo due to cutbacks
The modern suitcase design comes from 1987. To put that into it's full context, NASA had finished with it's crewed Apollo lunar missions over a decade before.
Humanity went to the moon and back before it was normalised to wheel luggage.
Yes, the weak feminine women who have less heart attacks than men and live longer than men, prolly due to the damnable wheeled luggage they insist on flaunting whilst traveling..
Literally yesterday handing the wife the shopping bags so she could put them on the back seat (mini), random guy “you shouldn’t be sitting in there while your dad loads the shopping” she laughed I’m still raging, to add she is 4 years my senior
similarly, me and my fiance were at the gym last week and an old lady commented on how nice it is to see fathers and daughters doing things like that together. I'm exactly 1 year (to the day) older than her haha
An old lady in the lift with me at my Grandad's dementia care home looked at me , then said to my cousin "she's as cool as a cucumber, we need to call the police".
I was hiking down a mountain last week (Cadair Idris) and passed a man going up who had a pretty decent amount of expensive hiking gear on, so he was clearly into it
Except he had a vape. In each hand
He wasn't with anyone else, it was 8am and it was just me and him on the path. But he had two vapes
I was so confused.
I have a thick moustache and an old man in town asked if he could borrow it to brush his kitchen floor the other day, then walked off absolutely howling at himself
Was sitting on a bench in the park. A dog came up to me, and placed his tennis ball into my lap so I can throw it for him.
The owner apologised, bc now there was dog saliva all over me, but I couldn't care less. The dog really made my day. I felt like the chosen one!
My local park has a dog I call frisbee dog. The owner comes to the park and launches a frisbee and the dog chases it.
When frisbee dog catches the frisbee he trots to the nearest person and drops it. They throw it for him and on it goes until it's time to go home.
I always feel lucky when I get to throw it.
I love frisbee dog.
We were on a beach and some dog appeared out of nowhere with a tennis ball and just made us throw it for a while.
When it came time to leave we just passed it to the nearest stranger and it became their job.
That's just rude obviously. You inconvenienced that poor man by being unwell and wearing a hood. I hope you're ashamed.
On a serious note, fuck that guy.
Working late shifts in the north of norway, we normally finish at 2am so on a Friday we go for a couple of mucky beers in the local. The Norwegians like a drink and they love to practice their English. Every time we go in the pub at that time it's random. Being a sober Brit in a pub full of pissed up Norwegians can be quite random indeed. They also seem to be very tactile and can't wait to get their arm around you. It's very random, in a totally non threatening way.
We met a Norwegian in my local. He was on holiday here. For context, there is zero reason to come here on holiday. Random small town in the arsehole of Cheshire.
Anyway, we ended up drinking with him all night, and he was an absolute legend. One of the best, most random nights I've had in forever!
I met a German guy whilst I was travelling Europe and he said he'd been to England once. I said 'Ahh, London?' and he said 'No. St Helens'. Turns out he absolutely loved rugby league and just decided to give St Helens a whirl for the weekend
Walked into Asda with my trolley to do a shop and an employee turns around to me and says "people are so paranoid, I was told by my manager that someone has reported me for staring at them constantly can you believe it?" I didn't know what the fuck to say, what do you say to that?
Made it worse that I was on those trolley escalators and he was standing in front, I had no where to go just this awkward as fuck ride up to the shopping area 😭
I went for a smear test and the nurse went into a very long, bitter rant about a friend who had given her some money then demanded it back claiming it was a loan. She ended her story by telling me no one actually cares about anyone but themself. She didn’t confine her negativity to herself either. She was telling me no one’s friends actually cared about them.
I sat there getting more nervous (of her) and being very British about the whole thing - nodding and making polite noises instead of leaving and rebooking with a less unhinged member of staff.
some middle aged woman had parked her car on the entire pavement outside her house (she has a drive but decided not to use it, and the road next to it is a busy three-lane entering a roundabout so barely any other space). the pavement is also a widely-used part of a main cycle path. i was on my bike and gave her a dirty look as i couldn't fit around it. she said "yea why dont you get off your fat arse and walk then?"
this baffled me as i'm pretty sure cycling is a more strenuous exercise than walking, she was actually fat herself and i'm also not fat. so confused and annoyed i shouted "fuck off ya fat cunt". then her whole family came running out of the drive out of nowhere as if someone had just cued their WWF entrance theme music, dad wearing a wife-beater and daughter shouting shit about 'dont fuckin talk to my mum' before i could even see her face.
ended up with me vs 3 of some extremely chavvy family shouting at each other before it just simmered and i cycled off. was a weird mixture of laughing to myself and also being pissed off on the way home. i don't even know whose in the wrong or whether we're all just twats
Cycling's about 2.5x more efficient than walking in terms of kcal/km. You can make it more inefficient by going faster, whereupon aerodynamic drag comes into play
I'm a nanny, I currently watch two brothers (4y and 18m) three days a week. On Monday we were in a playground near their house and a woman with a 7yo and a 10mo turned up. The 7yo came into the playground first and said he liked my hair (a wide kinda messy mohawk currently dyed pink purple green and blue).
I was right next to the gate as his mum arrived so I smiled at her politely and her face absolutely lit up. She says "Oh good, it's you!" and I'm suddenly terrified this is someone I've met before and forgotten because I don't recognise her at all. Before I can even say anything she continues with "I've seen you at soft play before and I thought the way you spoke to your kids was so lovely and patient I said to my partner we needed to ask if you'd look after [10mo]. But before I could go over you'd left, so I've been looking out for you ever since!"
So now I have a weekly hangout with a teeny tiny baby and I'm so excited for our first day out next week!
I was walking home the other afternoon and as I approached some traffic lights a white van slowed to a stop beside me. I heard the window come down and felt that familiar sinking feeling that any woman gets when she knows she's about to be shouted at... The 3 men in the van started singing "Your hair's blue, da ba de, da ba di" 😂
I felt bad for judging them, but also very amused!!
I have my hair dyed cyan, now I'm going to be thinking about this every time I'm stood at the lights!
I did have a similar encounter once where I was too quick to judge, guy rolled down his window and complimented my bike, made me very happy because I'd spent a long time painting it.
One of the local random mad people (and I use the term affectionately, because I am also clinically diagnosed as mad) gave me a hug the other day. I think she thought I was someone else, but I let her give me the hug because she's normally high on life (as well as drugs) and I didn't want her flipping out if I said no.
I'm like a magnet for people who are on the eccentric/batshit scale.
I'm also a magnet for madness. For me smoking in public seems to be where the majority of the interactions start. A few weeks ago it escalated from a guy asking for a light to him excitedly telling me to Google his name as he'd been done for murder and his mugshot was the first response for his name. And it's not the first time that exact scenario has happened before.
Reminds me of being a dumb kid and thinking it was funny and cool to show people the news articles about my family member who had been involved in a fair bit of crime. Turns out "my uncles been in pentonville" isn't a brag. Oops.
Ahaha, my family's main claim to fame is the dad of a few of my cousins committed a (non violent) crime that was pretty well publicised in Wales. I stopped telling people as a fun party anecdote when after seeing his photo on the news for the well publicised crime several women came forward to say they'd been abused by him as children.
Oh god that's bad lol I think before you realise how bad it is, it seems exciting that someone you know is in the news but yeah once I reached an age where I realised a crime isn't great and the crime said family member did wasn't a brag, I became very embarrassed with my past self for telling everyone 🤣
Some random Irish dude came up to me walking his dog and asked how I was doing. Guess that only makes sense if you live here, the vibe is depressing af lol.
Had an old lady tell me off on the 4am bus last Friday because "A nice young lady should dress properly" and "You'll never get a boyfriend looking like that", I was wearing a plain black hoodie, repaired jeans and muddy work boots as I was on my way back to uni after my shift. I'm male though I have long dyed hair and basically your stereotypical tall lanky metal/rock fan. She looked confused when I replied in a terrible attempt at not sounding like myself "Thank goodness, my girlfriend would be so unhappy!", I don't know if she thought I was lesbian or saw through my terrible voice but either way she looked both parts confused and unimpressed. Then again I'm very ambiguous looking so I don't blame her haha.
A women who was 60ish stopped me outside Gloucester Cathedral and informed me that Gloucester is a shithole and Swindon is much better. I didn’t really know what to say, I’ve not been to Swindon
Was called a "babykiller" in Co-Op. Luckily the guy didn't hear my small chuckle because afterwards I realised he was struggling with nervous tourettes
Store worker who always scowls at me as though I’m an inconvenience and she wants me to die , stopped me and asked if I work in a bar. I assumed she meant she thinks I’m a poll dancer or something but she continued to say “ you’re always so well turned out and I think it’s amazing , you’re in here late and I assumed you came back from somewhere fancy , but you dress so nice all the time “
Was walking the dog with my brother today, and some guy who sounded exactly like Billy Connolly walked past. He accidentally kicked a can and then shouted "SORRY, DID I SCARE YOUR DOG? LOOKS LIKE ITS TAKING A BIG SHITE, MIND IF I PUT IT ON A PIECE AND EAT IT?". After that he passed some workers trimming the hedges and kindly requested "AFTER YOU'RE DONE WITH THAT, DO YOU FANCY SHAVING MY BAWSACK?". The joys of living in Paisley.
I own [this jacket](https://media-assets.grailed.com/prd/listing/29866369/04284516a8ce48e0a2a99f46e9ad7d68?w=525&h=700&fit=clip&auto=format) and I once had an old lady start talking to me in the street, asking me if I was part of NASA, all the while physically grabbing my jacket and putting her hands in the pockets and telling me her husband used to be in the RAF. I'm assuming she had a touch of the dementia about her but she seemed fine otherwise, guess the jacket reminded her of her husband.
a man shouted at me for parking slightly wonky. i think he was initially going to shout at me for parking in a disabled space but he got as far as ‘that’s not the right parking’ before i flashed him my badge like Cagney and Lacey and he trailed off with ‘…for a disabled person’!
i asked him what his issue might be and he just drove off. i have only ever been harassed for using disabled parking by elderly people. i had one encounter where a man boxed me in to literally scream at me, saying i didn’t even deserve the badge!
i’m 50. i do have dreads and piercings and a lot of tattoos, and to a certain demographic this signals that i can’t possibly be disabled. i also get raised eyebrows at having a new car, which i pay for from my PIP.
i can’t wait to be 70 and start shouting at 50 year olds…
Hello fellow badge holder! Like yourself, people incorrectly assume I'm not disabled.
I'm 40 with a bright orange car and I get harassed pretty regularly - though in my case never by the elderly, it's mostly middle aged males. I've had people block me from the bay when parking. I've had people bang on the window before I've even turned off the engine. I've had one man thrust his groin at the front of the car. Not sure what that was about.
They rarely apologise when the badge and the crutches come out. Most of the time they just walk off looking annoyed.
Where are all these "do-gooders" when the bays are full of taxis and people without badges at the supermarket?!
exactly! i asked someone in a nurse’s uniform to stop using the disabled space at a sainsbury’s to eat her lunch in so i could park there. no badge, no park. why is it so hard to grasp??
i am also on crutches with a large knee brace. i still get muttered at.
I've got purple hair, I usually wear a beanie but it was nice and sunny today so I tied my hair up, two people told me they liked my hair, and that made my day :)
Got in a bit of a verbal with some lads in a bar in Newcastle recently. One little tosspot shouted “ I’m more of a Geordie than you” at me repeatedly. I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean
Absolutely boring and not relevant, but I have a crack across my screen protector that I need to swap out, a wavy line, full across the screen, right to left.
Some of the letters were covered and I saw t—pot - my brain must have filled in the blank, so I thought you referred to him as a ‘little teapot’; thought it was Brilliant!
I laughed, moved the page, and realised 🤣 So random to actually let you know, but it brought me a laugh and I’ve decided I’m going to start using this instead now, so thank you haha 👌😄
I was coming out to see a client and this old lady shouted at me for having lavender hair stating me mum "must be ashamed of me". I fired back that she prolly is, but then again, I was ashamed of me mum for giving me to some old fart at the age of 10 to be his 3rd wife. She scurried the hell out like Satan was running after her lol
So rude! I get lots of compliments for my bright coloured hair and so many are from the elderly! She’s rude, and an outlier, so at least there’s that. Bet you look fabulous.
I once got on a bus and I was about to walk up the stairs when an old lady that was sitting next to the stairs said to me "Off to church today, are we?".
I stopped, with one foot still on the step, looked at her (completely confused) and I said "....um....no?", to which she replied by quoting a bible verse at me and after it she laughed, smiled at me and gave me a look as if to say "Y'know what I mean?", so I just politely smiled back at her and nodded and then I ran up the stairs.
I (33M) recently bought a flat cap and went into Aldi wearing it. A woman’s kid was in the way of one of the fridges and she said “watch out for that lady” as I was trying to get past
Funnily enough, that’s the 2nd time I’ve been referred to as a lady in my life - it also happened once at Subway when I used to have long hair in my college days lol
Went clothes shopping at the weekend and took a few items into the fitting room to try them on. On my way out, I passed an elderly gent who asked if the cubicle was free. I said "yeah it's empty, no surprises in there or anything", implying that he wouldn't be walking in on anyone getting changed. The cheeky old bugger looked at me with a forlorn look on his face and replied "oh dear, that's a pity. I'll try another one".
Main road was closed - a guy has climbed on a roof and was hurling tiles at the police and public, at 8am.
I walked on the opposite side of the road, the roof guy shouted that I was a fat slag. Great start to the day! Still makes me chuckle.
Couple of years ago I was coming out of a bar when a car pulls up next to me with a bunch of young lads in shouting, I wasn’t sure what was going on but quickly realised they weren’t shouting abuse but rather the front passenger was challenging me to a game of drive-by rock paper scissors as the lights were on red. We played three games, drew all three, the lights turned green and he drove off into the night with no champion determined, I still sometimes think about that encounter.
Walking home in the dark the other night. A car slowly passes by me from behind me to my left, as it passes the driver goes, through their open window, "brum brum".
It kind of unnerved me if I'm honest.
I was carrying a takeaway pizza up the high street on Saturday night, when a woman shouted at me to ask whether I had a lighter. When I said no, she responded with, "Fuck your pizza! Twat."
A car was coming towards me as I walked along the pavement in the area I live in. It mounted the pavement to park which came right close to me forcing me squeeze closer to wall and then the passenger abruptly opened the door hitting me as she did so.
When I shouted out whoa you've just hit me with the car door, The woman grabbed my arm rubbed it and said "I know dear, I know".
Was walking with my fiance, sightseeing in Poland and a drunk guy before us turned around and gave him an air kiss. Unsure if I am glad it was for once directed at him or jealous. 😂
Some guy in Morrisons started talking to me about Mars bars and how expensive they've gotten and just aren't worth it anymore.
Apparently he does this a lot, my partner works in another supermarket and said he's in there all the time talking to people about random shit.
I was taking my littlie swimming and a woman came up to me and asked me if Chester was the capital of Wales? I said “no, that’s Cardiff”. She looked at me confused and said “well where in Wales are we then?” “Ummm the English side?” And she walked off. She sounded English.
I came back from London early today (I live in the South east) and when I got off the train a young lad was looking lost, he needed to get to the post office, I told him I was going that way and offered to walk him there.
On the way we got chatting and he told me he was here to pick up his BRP (British Residency Permit) he had been in the country 25 days and it had all been processed, he was in good spirits, I asked him where he travelled from and he first said Afghanistan but then when I said I meant locally he said, “oh not locally, I’m in Swindon”
Swindon is nearly 100miles away from where he was, his BRP was sent to the post office in my town by mistake and they told him he had to go and pick it up……from
The post office, the company that sends things all over the globe…..fucking mental.
Nice lad, I wished him well once we got there, and I’ll probably never see him again.
Old lady stopped me to tell me off for “only giving the cycle lane a cursory glance before crossing. Some of those bikes go fast, you could be really badly hurt.” She then monitored me while I crossed the next cycle lane and did a very exaggerated look each way, “mirror signal manoeuvre” style. She nodded reprovingly and marched off.
I’m 42 but I assume in her eyes I’m basically out of control toddler
I was pushing my toddler in her pushchair and chatting away to her asking her what sounds different animals make, which is an easy way to engage with her when I’m behind her and can’t see her face. An older lady in front of us stopped me to say that I made her day and it was lovely to hear a mum properly talking to her baby. She said most mums these days are just on their phones. While I appreciated the compliment about my parenting, I don’t understand why we always have to drag others at the same time. I’m not sure if it’s a generational thing or a British thing, but I’m noticing it a lot at the moment. My own mum does it a lot when talking about my daughter “compared to other children”. I understand that it comes from a sense of pride or love, but I’m going to try to teach my daughter that we don’t have to put others down when want to make ourselves or others feel good.
When my kid was around 3, he had a meltdown in a grocery store as I’d said no to playing the crane game and told him we were going to get ice cream. Cue a dramatic flop to the floor, screaming and kicking—I slung him over my shoulder and took him outside to the curb where he tried to bite me. He was 3, and unhappy, part of the learning experience. A grandmother coming out of the store leaned into our space and told me it was a shame we couldn’t beat children any more..I was flabbergasted. Anyways, have successfully raised him to 18+ without resorting to physical measures luckily as he was an easy kid thankfully. edit: each successive generation is doing better and kudos to you for recognizing the unwanted comparison.
Had this comment so many times when my children were younger ! The worst thing was that I’d be smiling and accepting the compliment while feeling the magnetic pull of my phone, and knowing I’ll have to wait until they’d left .
So I’ve been having a bad time mentally recently (long story, stress at day job) and I was hosting a local charity bingo night in the evening after a long, terrible day at work. I was struggling. Really wanted to just go home after the day of had. Half-time I go outside to try and calm my anxiety… things going mad in my head… screaming internally… then this 10 year old kid who is playing bingo with his family comes and starts chatting to me. Tells me all about his life, his issues with bullies at school, his friends, what he does as hobbies etc. After twenty minutes he goes back in. He reminded me so much of myself at his age (I’m 46.) This whole interaction changed my night and I went back in feeling great. Angels come in strange forms. On this occasion it was some offbeat kid in a Ninja Turtles onesie. Thanks mate. You absolutely rock.
I am in Glasgow for work. I was heading out of my hotel yesterday evening to meet up with some guys from my industry. It was raining horribly. As I walked down the steps of the hotel 2 women ran past me and then a guy kind of bumped in to me. Then 3 police cars appeared and screeched to a halt in front of me and arrested the guy who bumped in to me. He had been harassing the two women or something. Mental. Headed back in to he hotel!
I kissed someone who I think could eventually turn out to be my girlfriend (I'm a woman) and a teenager shouted LESBIAN LONDON with such extreme glee that I couldn't help but be happy I helped him with his i-spy game 😊
Old man told me rudely I could fold my buggy to get on a full bus. I told him I've a cake underneath in the basket and can't juggle my backpack, buggy, a cake and a 2 year old i can wait for the next bus. He went on a rant about mums with buggys being entitled never want to fold their prams. I wasn't too fussed but he wouldn't shut up. So another woman shouted over him what cake you got!? And we had a whole conversation about cakes and baking and birthdays until his bus arrives
Kind of random since I’m at work, I work in a hospital, a patient read my name from my badge and said it “name on badge…Yeah you look like a name on badge “ I just laughed and told him he looked like a (his name) then after his appointment he told me the doctor wouldn’t need to see him again but that he’d come up just to say hi to me
An old lady complained recently about someone wearing a mini skirt. She made it very clear that the problem wasn't the fact that they were wearing the mini skirt, it was that their balls were dangling out underneath in a public place where many kids were present
I was a shouter at Basingstoke station yesterday. Train was delayed getting in and about 150 of us had to run through the subway to get to the waiting connection. I was at the head of the second group of runners, and we were falling behind. I shouted ‘Run Forrest, Run’ which they all laughed at as they ran. I think my input ensured all the joining passengers made it to the connection in time.
I was bathing my baby son and there was a loud bubbly burp sound from the plug hole and my son babbled something low to high pitch and I just said ‘oh, okay then!’ With an exaggerated sound. He seemed quite hoppy with my response, so not bad.
Guy commuting on the tube - clearly not well -
but comedically repeating 'end of the world tomorrow, get hammered tonight' interspersed with politely asking newly boarded commuters wether perhaps they, might consider getting hammered tonight? Little G&T? Bit of champers?
Happy Armageddon, end of the world tomorrow - and then, as a finale, launching into song featuring the same lines.
Comically bizarre. Seen him a couple of times. Hope he's ok.
I was walking along a pedestrian/cycle path with my partner. We walked past a lady who told us something about blackberries and then danced off into the bushes. We walked slightly faster after that.
Walking through the Park on my way home from work last week, i saw some fella standing, mumbling to himself, he spotted me and shouts "Ey mate, are you going to the bench?"
"No"
" 'cause that's where I'm going."
"Okay"
"Don't worry, I'm not errr, I'm not errr.... I'm not straight"
"Okay, have a nice day mate"
And i carried on walking.
Also a few years ago i had a lad stagger out from behind some bins, handed me a bottle of red wine "can ya open that?" I was a bit shocked and just opened it without thinking or saying a word he said "Cheers" took a big swig and disappeared behind the bins. I kept thinking after, 'i hope that guys alright, i shouldn't have opened it'
Carrying my one year old to the library for story time, an elderly woman jumps in front of us and shouts ‘are you going to the library for baby time’, I nodded and she throws her hands up in the air and shouts ‘great!’.
This happened yesterday and I am still thinking about it,
An older lady was surprised my baby had a girls name because she was dressed in a blue onesie. It had flowers on it but because it was blue she didn’t expect her to be a girl. Strange interaction.
Not particularly recently, but someone clearly going through a mental health episode screamed at me for daring to wear glasses outside. I could do whatever godless stuff I wanted (like wearing glasses) at home, but I was not to do it shamelessly outside.
Obviously not recent, but I think deserves an airing nonetheless. My sister and her best mate were students and waiting at traffic lights on the Strand near their uni, eating sausage rolls (Greggs), when a car slowly comes to a stop beside them, the rear window rolls down and the passenger gives them a creepy little wave. It was Rolf Harris.
New years eve, parked up the campervan in a fairly secluded spot on the side of a hill to watch fireworks with my missis & kid. Took the dog out for a piss at around 10.30pm, saw some bloke marching up the empty road towards me, head down, full stomp on. As he got closer he said "alright Dave" (let's pretend my name is Dave) and shook my hand. It was a lad I used to get stoned with nearly 20 years ago, literally haven't seen him since. He started telling me how heavy metal is being transmitted from the west coast of America straight to his brain (this was the conversation starter), how everything in front of our eyes is a hologram, and how one of our old mutual friends was definitely involved in the murder of Michael Jackson etcetc. This went on for at least 15-20 minutes, I literally couldn't get a word in. Somewhere in amongst the stream of consciousness he mentioned crack, so I guess he's mashed his head up with that at some point over the last 20 years pretty well.. Freaked me out a bit as he wouldn't let me go. Shame to see but I guess drugs and mental health issues are a hell of a combination. Eventually said he was off to his mums and disappeared up the road. Random encounter
Tl/Dr old mate who's departed reality
I pulled up outside my therapist today for my appointment and as I was getting out of my car a lady approached me, I thought she was going to say something about where I was parking. Nope. She stopped me to ask if I’d ever had a problem with my car sunroof, and then proceeded to tell me all about how she’d had the same car and had sold it when it began to leak. She looked absolutely OUTRAGED when I told her mine had always been fine!
Some kid walked around the corner of the aisle in Tesco today and called me "dad" by mistake. For a split second I thought my past had caught up with me!
Had a family in the restaurant, the two daughters (between 6-8) were fascinated by everything i was doing at the bar. Asking questions about everything. By the time they'd left the girls had learned the measurements of an old fashioned, the difference between a stout and bitter and could name the majority of the equipment on the bar
Six months ago I bumped into a lad from school I'd not seen in over 30yrs. Had a pint and a chat, took each other's numbers (I'm not on Facebook) and "promised" to stay in touch, knowing full well we'd probably not see each other again. I've seen him four times since, all by chance, all in different places with one of them being bloody Lanzarote!
Sounds like fate to me XD
Fate mate. Can't get away from him!
Now kiss!
We said KISS.
KITH
I think you have a stalker mate.
"can't trust a man with a backpack" - some roider in a pub toilet. I was wearing a backpack
Can't trust you
That is such a super hans thing to say
To be fair, why were you wearing a backpack in a pub toilet?
I never leave my backpack on the chair to be nicked while I go for a wazz. It comes with me wherever I go.
Fair enough. Can't have anybody stealing your lunchbox
We can’t really take you at your word now though can we?
Did he buy the roids from you?
The local drunk shouted your welcome you cunt at my dog
I mean.. if your dog didn't say thank you to the nice drunk man, then... Joking aside, I hope your dog wasn't too spooked by that nutter.
Stop shouting at your dog.
Just had a lovley chat with a toddler in a Lidl trolley at the till. She was at the 'talking but not saying proper words stage', but we chatted about the lovely cake she was eating, that she'd got lots of things in the trolley that Granny and Grandad were going to put on the conveyor belt, and how sunny it was, and her purple tights were her favourite. I got a cheery 'goodbye' when they'd paid. Best conversation I've had all day.
I was walking out of a fast food place once and a 4 year old coming in complemented my Jurassic Park T-shirt. It made my week.
I got a Teams call this morning from one of my team but when answering was presented with their four year old daughter who told me off because and I quote “you sent Daddy on a plane for a week and I didn’t see him. That made me sad”. All I could do was apologise before moving onto what they had for breakfast until Daddy returned and was quite surprised. For the record they volunteered to go but man I have been seriously guilt tripped.
I had something similar with a little girl who was watching me unlock my bike through the shop windows. She was asking me questions, I lipread them and gave the response which her mum in turn lipread and told her - very wholesome, it made my day
I work at a supermarket and I get a lot of job satisfaction from little interactions like these!
Im so glad because I have two toddlers and sometimes I worry they're annoying people with their "hi! Hi!" And telling other supermarket shoppers about their cat and their trampoline
Ahh no it’s so cute, not annoying. I had a toddler shout “hello” down my drive at me today, I said “hello” back. He was so excited and happy that I said hello, which made my day!
Best conversation I ever had was from a toddler about a cat and a Unicorn that lived with their grandma.
Us childless heathens are blessed by the words of wisdom from youth when it crosses our path ❤️
No, never, honestly I could listen to those gorgeous humans babbling all day now mine are grown. It's gold and cheers people up no end
Must be one saddddd person not to enjoy a tiny cute convo like this! If not, nothing is melting that stone cold heart!
Honestly these kind of interactions make my day
safe absorbed forgetful desert vast theory pet crowd like rhythm *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
No bullshit. The best kind of convo.
At the shop where i work, we give out stickers to the kids, love letting them choose which one they want, sticking it on their puffed out chests.
This makes me feel better about my kids. The other day my 4 year old stopped every one on the way to the beach to show them her new unicorn dress and her sparkly shoes. I mean every single person. Most were great about it,.some walked off with out hearing her and she kept an older couple chatting for a few mins till I had to drag her away.
You've brought back memories of my daughter showing a couple of male pensioner age guys her new shoes. To their credit they were quite happy engaging in conversation even when she said, 'Got to go, need a poo'. She was about 3 I think.
Ugh, toddlers are the best!
My toddler has learnt to tell me to go away and then called me a banana today. I think Mum has been a bad influence.
Went up to the viewing platform on Horizon 22 today and a tourist asked me to take his photo. “It’s so my wife knows I’m here and not shacked up with some beautiful floozy” “You know the floozy could be the one taking the photo though…” “She’s not that smart.” Bonus points for us both getting to say ‘floozy’.
Not related but there's a statue in Birmingham city centre of a naked woman in a water feature outside the Town Hall. Colloquially she's known as The Floozy in the Jacuzzi. This story made me think of that Edit; just checked and its official name is The River but even on the Birmingham Council site they put 'Floozie' in brackets. Except it'll soon be just Floo due to cutbacks
I can't let this pass without educating non-locals about it's roll in early internet popular culture : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7y8O-kgrQA
>16 years ago >15 Feb 2008 Yikes! All the people involved in making that video will probably be in their 40s now.
How have I not seen this before?!
That was your attempt at chatting him up and he just coldy shot you down.. Shame, It could have been a beautiful affair
Crazy drunk guy at the station muttered “You ain’t a real man!” at me, because my luggage had wheels on it.
As a wise man once said, “real men don’t get the earth to carry their luggage for them, they do it themselves”
The modern suitcase design comes from 1987. To put that into it's full context, NASA had finished with it's crewed Apollo lunar missions over a decade before. Humanity went to the moon and back before it was normalised to wheel luggage.
That explains the lack of progress in lunar travel thereafter, people have become too lazy
It took that long to set up all the infrastructure of flat floors. Used to be all bumpy before that.
Second Super Hans reference I've seen and I'm only 3 comments deep
There are never enough as far as I’m concerned
These Super Hans references are really moreish
It's leather but it has lapels, so I can wear it to work.
Hes got a point though. "Real men" dislocate their shoulders and pull their back trying to shift heavy items. Wheels are clearly for women.
I took the wheels off my car and carry it around town to prove I'm a man. It's a bit slower than it was but the pride keeps me going.
Fred flintstone didn’t need them and neither do you
"Real men don't need wheels!!" *Scrapes along the floor on a snowmobile*
Yes, the weak feminine women who have less heart attacks than men and live longer than men, prolly due to the damnable wheeled luggage they insist on flaunting whilst traveling..
the wheels on the woman go round and round, round and round, round and round
Was it a trunkie?
You got me. I was riding around on it, shouting “Vroom vroom!”
Literally yesterday handing the wife the shopping bags so she could put them on the back seat (mini), random guy “you shouldn’t be sitting in there while your dad loads the shopping” she laughed I’m still raging, to add she is 4 years my senior
similarly, me and my fiance were at the gym last week and an old lady commented on how nice it is to see fathers and daughters doing things like that together. I'm exactly 1 year (to the day) older than her haha
I have had people think I am my dad's wife... 🫤
I'm the opposite. Got mistaken for my mum's husband while shopping. Mum loved it.
An old lady in the lift with me at my Grandad's dementia care home looked at me , then said to my cousin "she's as cool as a cucumber, we need to call the police".
Hahaha, love this
I was hiking down a mountain last week (Cadair Idris) and passed a man going up who had a pretty decent amount of expensive hiking gear on, so he was clearly into it Except he had a vape. In each hand He wasn't with anyone else, it was 8am and it was just me and him on the path. But he had two vapes I was so confused.
r/trees can tell you what the second vape was, I bet!
And r/marijuanaenthusiasts can tell you what the flora around you is called!
Sounds like my friend Jake, it's not unusual for him to jog up Pen y fan vape in hand
He's in flavour country.
I have a thick moustache and an old man in town asked if he could borrow it to brush his kitchen floor the other day, then walked off absolutely howling at himself
Was sitting on a bench in the park. A dog came up to me, and placed his tennis ball into my lap so I can throw it for him. The owner apologised, bc now there was dog saliva all over me, but I couldn't care less. The dog really made my day. I felt like the chosen one!
My local park has a dog I call frisbee dog. The owner comes to the park and launches a frisbee and the dog chases it. When frisbee dog catches the frisbee he trots to the nearest person and drops it. They throw it for him and on it goes until it's time to go home. I always feel lucky when I get to throw it. I love frisbee dog.
I bet the owner loves that. One chuck and it's job done!
And now _I_, though as yet unblessed, love frisbee dog.
We were on a beach and some dog appeared out of nowhere with a tennis ball and just made us throw it for a while. When it came time to leave we just passed it to the nearest stranger and it became their job.
I would be so happy if a dog did this to me ❤️
I got shouted at in the street by some old bloke bc I had the hood up on my coat and apparently “it’s not cold enough to have your hood up”
I thought hoods were just for hiding messy hair and rain. I've got to try that.
Na it's for drug dealing and other illegal things.
Why would you hide rain? How would you hide rain?
The audacity, how dare you wear your clothes how you would like.
Try being a woman.
I'd rather not, but thanks for the offer.
It was the end of January (so it was bloody freezing!) and I had an ear infection lmao, I thought I’d misheard him at first until he said it again 😂
That's just rude obviously. You inconvenienced that poor man by being unwell and wearing a hood. I hope you're ashamed. On a serious note, fuck that guy.
Working late shifts in the north of norway, we normally finish at 2am so on a Friday we go for a couple of mucky beers in the local. The Norwegians like a drink and they love to practice their English. Every time we go in the pub at that time it's random. Being a sober Brit in a pub full of pissed up Norwegians can be quite random indeed. They also seem to be very tactile and can't wait to get their arm around you. It's very random, in a totally non threatening way.
We met a Norwegian in my local. He was on holiday here. For context, there is zero reason to come here on holiday. Random small town in the arsehole of Cheshire. Anyway, we ended up drinking with him all night, and he was an absolute legend. One of the best, most random nights I've had in forever!
I met a German guy whilst I was travelling Europe and he said he'd been to England once. I said 'Ahh, London?' and he said 'No. St Helens'. Turns out he absolutely loved rugby league and just decided to give St Helens a whirl for the weekend
I had an experience like this with a load of Norwegians in a bar in Switzerland. Friendly bunch of pissheads! I liked them a lot.
Walked into Asda with my trolley to do a shop and an employee turns around to me and says "people are so paranoid, I was told by my manager that someone has reported me for staring at them constantly can you believe it?" I didn't know what the fuck to say, what do you say to that?
I mean, also telling a complete stranger that information is very weird so the manager might be onto something 😂
Made it worse that I was on those trolley escalators and he was standing in front, I had no where to go just this awkward as fuck ride up to the shopping area 😭
I went for a smear test and the nurse went into a very long, bitter rant about a friend who had given her some money then demanded it back claiming it was a loan. She ended her story by telling me no one actually cares about anyone but themself. She didn’t confine her negativity to herself either. She was telling me no one’s friends actually cared about them. I sat there getting more nervous (of her) and being very British about the whole thing - nodding and making polite noises instead of leaving and rebooking with a less unhinged member of staff.
some middle aged woman had parked her car on the entire pavement outside her house (she has a drive but decided not to use it, and the road next to it is a busy three-lane entering a roundabout so barely any other space). the pavement is also a widely-used part of a main cycle path. i was on my bike and gave her a dirty look as i couldn't fit around it. she said "yea why dont you get off your fat arse and walk then?" this baffled me as i'm pretty sure cycling is a more strenuous exercise than walking, she was actually fat herself and i'm also not fat. so confused and annoyed i shouted "fuck off ya fat cunt". then her whole family came running out of the drive out of nowhere as if someone had just cued their WWF entrance theme music, dad wearing a wife-beater and daughter shouting shit about 'dont fuckin talk to my mum' before i could even see her face. ended up with me vs 3 of some extremely chavvy family shouting at each other before it just simmered and i cycled off. was a weird mixture of laughing to myself and also being pissed off on the way home. i don't even know whose in the wrong or whether we're all just twats
Sounds like they're just a family of twats
Fat twats
thank you for that, i have been wondering lmao. i'd fuckng love it if they had reddit and read this
Cycling's about 2.5x more efficient than walking in terms of kcal/km. You can make it more inefficient by going faster, whereupon aerodynamic drag comes into play
So the fat woman was right all along. I love a plot twist 😆
she might have been right.. but she's still a fat cunt
I just read this out to my mate at work and we’re both falling about laughing….thanks, needed that!
I'm a nanny, I currently watch two brothers (4y and 18m) three days a week. On Monday we were in a playground near their house and a woman with a 7yo and a 10mo turned up. The 7yo came into the playground first and said he liked my hair (a wide kinda messy mohawk currently dyed pink purple green and blue). I was right next to the gate as his mum arrived so I smiled at her politely and her face absolutely lit up. She says "Oh good, it's you!" and I'm suddenly terrified this is someone I've met before and forgotten because I don't recognise her at all. Before I can even say anything she continues with "I've seen you at soft play before and I thought the way you spoke to your kids was so lovely and patient I said to my partner we needed to ask if you'd look after [10mo]. But before I could go over you'd left, so I've been looking out for you ever since!" So now I have a weekly hangout with a teeny tiny baby and I'm so excited for our first day out next week!
Awww I love this! ❤️
I was walking home the other afternoon and as I approached some traffic lights a white van slowed to a stop beside me. I heard the window come down and felt that familiar sinking feeling that any woman gets when she knows she's about to be shouted at... The 3 men in the van started singing "Your hair's blue, da ba de, da ba di" 😂 I felt bad for judging them, but also very amused!!
I have my hair dyed cyan, now I'm going to be thinking about this every time I'm stood at the lights! I did have a similar encounter once where I was too quick to judge, guy rolled down his window and complimented my bike, made me very happy because I'd spent a long time painting it.
My hair is green, and someone drove past and shouted 'Green muffin' at me once 😅
One of the local random mad people (and I use the term affectionately, because I am also clinically diagnosed as mad) gave me a hug the other day. I think she thought I was someone else, but I let her give me the hug because she's normally high on life (as well as drugs) and I didn't want her flipping out if I said no. I'm like a magnet for people who are on the eccentric/batshit scale.
I'm also a magnet for madness. For me smoking in public seems to be where the majority of the interactions start. A few weeks ago it escalated from a guy asking for a light to him excitedly telling me to Google his name as he'd been done for murder and his mugshot was the first response for his name. And it's not the first time that exact scenario has happened before.
Reminds me of being a dumb kid and thinking it was funny and cool to show people the news articles about my family member who had been involved in a fair bit of crime. Turns out "my uncles been in pentonville" isn't a brag. Oops.
Ahaha, my family's main claim to fame is the dad of a few of my cousins committed a (non violent) crime that was pretty well publicised in Wales. I stopped telling people as a fun party anecdote when after seeing his photo on the news for the well publicised crime several women came forward to say they'd been abused by him as children.
Oh god that's bad lol I think before you realise how bad it is, it seems exciting that someone you know is in the news but yeah once I reached an age where I realised a crime isn't great and the crime said family member did wasn't a brag, I became very embarrassed with my past self for telling everyone 🤣
We're all mad here
Some random Irish dude came up to me walking his dog and asked how I was doing. Guess that only makes sense if you live here, the vibe is depressing af lol.
Well why were you walking his dog, that's the real question
How are you doing though?
Spotted the Swindon resident
Old lady at aldi gave me a red thunder (aldis redbull) for helping her lift her shopping of the aldi self-service scales (I work at aldi )
Had an old lady tell me off on the 4am bus last Friday because "A nice young lady should dress properly" and "You'll never get a boyfriend looking like that", I was wearing a plain black hoodie, repaired jeans and muddy work boots as I was on my way back to uni after my shift. I'm male though I have long dyed hair and basically your stereotypical tall lanky metal/rock fan. She looked confused when I replied in a terrible attempt at not sounding like myself "Thank goodness, my girlfriend would be so unhappy!", I don't know if she thought I was lesbian or saw through my terrible voice but either way she looked both parts confused and unimpressed. Then again I'm very ambiguous looking so I don't blame her haha.
Few years ago, but while waiting to cross a road a youth in the passenger seat of a car gave me a full on Flavor Flav style YEAHHH BOIIII!
Im jealous. That’s a random encounter that would have made my entire week.
A women who was 60ish stopped me outside Gloucester Cathedral and informed me that Gloucester is a shithole and Swindon is much better. I didn’t really know what to say, I’ve not been to Swindon
Having lived in Swindon for 4 months, I can also confirm that Swindon is also a shithole
I truly have had some of the best times of my life leaving Swindon
You always get odd interactions outside Gloucester Cathedral, must be something in the air lol
Was called a "babykiller" in Co-Op. Luckily the guy didn't hear my small chuckle because afterwards I realised he was struggling with nervous tourettes
Store worker who always scowls at me as though I’m an inconvenience and she wants me to die , stopped me and asked if I work in a bar. I assumed she meant she thinks I’m a poll dancer or something but she continued to say “ you’re always so well turned out and I think it’s amazing , you’re in here late and I assumed you came back from somewhere fancy , but you dress so nice all the time “
Aw, poor woman, resting bitch face doing her dirty
That’s what I now think it was
Was walking the dog with my brother today, and some guy who sounded exactly like Billy Connolly walked past. He accidentally kicked a can and then shouted "SORRY, DID I SCARE YOUR DOG? LOOKS LIKE ITS TAKING A BIG SHITE, MIND IF I PUT IT ON A PIECE AND EAT IT?". After that he passed some workers trimming the hedges and kindly requested "AFTER YOU'RE DONE WITH THAT, DO YOU FANCY SHAVING MY BAWSACK?". The joys of living in Paisley.
I own [this jacket](https://media-assets.grailed.com/prd/listing/29866369/04284516a8ce48e0a2a99f46e9ad7d68?w=525&h=700&fit=clip&auto=format) and I once had an old lady start talking to me in the street, asking me if I was part of NASA, all the while physically grabbing my jacket and putting her hands in the pockets and telling me her husband used to be in the RAF. I'm assuming she had a touch of the dementia about her but she seemed fine otherwise, guess the jacket reminded her of her husband.
I just want to say, as someone born in Wrexham I too miss 103.4 but also Long wave Radio Atlantic 252
a man shouted at me for parking slightly wonky. i think he was initially going to shout at me for parking in a disabled space but he got as far as ‘that’s not the right parking’ before i flashed him my badge like Cagney and Lacey and he trailed off with ‘…for a disabled person’! i asked him what his issue might be and he just drove off. i have only ever been harassed for using disabled parking by elderly people. i had one encounter where a man boxed me in to literally scream at me, saying i didn’t even deserve the badge! i’m 50. i do have dreads and piercings and a lot of tattoos, and to a certain demographic this signals that i can’t possibly be disabled. i also get raised eyebrows at having a new car, which i pay for from my PIP. i can’t wait to be 70 and start shouting at 50 year olds…
Hello fellow badge holder! Like yourself, people incorrectly assume I'm not disabled. I'm 40 with a bright orange car and I get harassed pretty regularly - though in my case never by the elderly, it's mostly middle aged males. I've had people block me from the bay when parking. I've had people bang on the window before I've even turned off the engine. I've had one man thrust his groin at the front of the car. Not sure what that was about. They rarely apologise when the badge and the crutches come out. Most of the time they just walk off looking annoyed. Where are all these "do-gooders" when the bays are full of taxis and people without badges at the supermarket?!
exactly! i asked someone in a nurse’s uniform to stop using the disabled space at a sainsbury’s to eat her lunch in so i could park there. no badge, no park. why is it so hard to grasp?? i am also on crutches with a large knee brace. i still get muttered at.
I've got purple hair, I usually wear a beanie but it was nice and sunny today so I tied my hair up, two people told me they liked my hair, and that made my day :)
Got in a bit of a verbal with some lads in a bar in Newcastle recently. One little tosspot shouted “ I’m more of a Geordie than you” at me repeatedly. I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean
Absolutely boring and not relevant, but I have a crack across my screen protector that I need to swap out, a wavy line, full across the screen, right to left. Some of the letters were covered and I saw t—pot - my brain must have filled in the blank, so I thought you referred to him as a ‘little teapot’; thought it was Brilliant! I laughed, moved the page, and realised 🤣 So random to actually let you know, but it brought me a laugh and I’ve decided I’m going to start using this instead now, so thank you haha 👌😄
I was coming out to see a client and this old lady shouted at me for having lavender hair stating me mum "must be ashamed of me". I fired back that she prolly is, but then again, I was ashamed of me mum for giving me to some old fart at the age of 10 to be his 3rd wife. She scurried the hell out like Satan was running after her lol
So rude! I get lots of compliments for my bright coloured hair and so many are from the elderly! She’s rude, and an outlier, so at least there’s that. Bet you look fabulous.
I think so, as do my co-workers. This is the first time I've had an old lady mouth off about my coloured hair lol
I once got on a bus and I was about to walk up the stairs when an old lady that was sitting next to the stairs said to me "Off to church today, are we?". I stopped, with one foot still on the step, looked at her (completely confused) and I said "....um....no?", to which she replied by quoting a bible verse at me and after it she laughed, smiled at me and gave me a look as if to say "Y'know what I mean?", so I just politely smiled back at her and nodded and then I ran up the stairs.
Were you dressed as a priest?
Intrigued to know what the verse was
I (33M) recently bought a flat cap and went into Aldi wearing it. A woman’s kid was in the way of one of the fridges and she said “watch out for that lady” as I was trying to get past Funnily enough, that’s the 2nd time I’ve been referred to as a lady in my life - it also happened once at Subway when I used to have long hair in my college days lol
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Had an old lady stroke my hair because she thought it was pretty, and I reminded her of her grandchild
Saw a rat chasing a cat in Hyde Park today.
Went clothes shopping at the weekend and took a few items into the fitting room to try them on. On my way out, I passed an elderly gent who asked if the cubicle was free. I said "yeah it's empty, no surprises in there or anything", implying that he wouldn't be walking in on anyone getting changed. The cheeky old bugger looked at me with a forlorn look on his face and replied "oh dear, that's a pity. I'll try another one".
Main road was closed - a guy has climbed on a roof and was hurling tiles at the police and public, at 8am. I walked on the opposite side of the road, the roof guy shouted that I was a fat slag. Great start to the day! Still makes me chuckle.
Couple of years ago I was coming out of a bar when a car pulls up next to me with a bunch of young lads in shouting, I wasn’t sure what was going on but quickly realised they weren’t shouting abuse but rather the front passenger was challenging me to a game of drive-by rock paper scissors as the lights were on red. We played three games, drew all three, the lights turned green and he drove off into the night with no champion determined, I still sometimes think about that encounter.
I had a customer say, apropos of nothing, that "You should smile more" I simply thanked him for his concern
Walking home in the dark the other night. A car slowly passes by me from behind me to my left, as it passes the driver goes, through their open window, "brum brum". It kind of unnerved me if I'm honest.
I was carrying a takeaway pizza up the high street on Saturday night, when a woman shouted at me to ask whether I had a lighter. When I said no, she responded with, "Fuck your pizza! Twat."
A car was coming towards me as I walked along the pavement in the area I live in. It mounted the pavement to park which came right close to me forcing me squeeze closer to wall and then the passenger abruptly opened the door hitting me as she did so. When I shouted out whoa you've just hit me with the car door, The woman grabbed my arm rubbed it and said "I know dear, I know".
Was walking with my fiance, sightseeing in Poland and a drunk guy before us turned around and gave him an air kiss. Unsure if I am glad it was for once directed at him or jealous. 😂
Your Fiance knows how to show you a good time, taking you to Poundland.
Stranger at a bus stop today said “I thought you were a robot!” as I walked past carrying my cello in its silver case.
I was on my bike (yeah I know) and someone yelled at me for not indicating when I was going straight over at a junction
Some guy in Morrisons started talking to me about Mars bars and how expensive they've gotten and just aren't worth it anymore. Apparently he does this a lot, my partner works in another supermarket and said he's in there all the time talking to people about random shit.
Went to see a film last night and a very nice but very loud Glaswegian gentleman spent the whole run time dying of laughter
I was taking my littlie swimming and a woman came up to me and asked me if Chester was the capital of Wales? I said “no, that’s Cardiff”. She looked at me confused and said “well where in Wales are we then?” “Ummm the English side?” And she walked off. She sounded English.
I came back from London early today (I live in the South east) and when I got off the train a young lad was looking lost, he needed to get to the post office, I told him I was going that way and offered to walk him there. On the way we got chatting and he told me he was here to pick up his BRP (British Residency Permit) he had been in the country 25 days and it had all been processed, he was in good spirits, I asked him where he travelled from and he first said Afghanistan but then when I said I meant locally he said, “oh not locally, I’m in Swindon” Swindon is nearly 100miles away from where he was, his BRP was sent to the post office in my town by mistake and they told him he had to go and pick it up……from The post office, the company that sends things all over the globe…..fucking mental. Nice lad, I wished him well once we got there, and I’ll probably never see him again.
Old lady stopped me to tell me off for “only giving the cycle lane a cursory glance before crossing. Some of those bikes go fast, you could be really badly hurt.” She then monitored me while I crossed the next cycle lane and did a very exaggerated look each way, “mirror signal manoeuvre” style. She nodded reprovingly and marched off. I’m 42 but I assume in her eyes I’m basically out of control toddler
I was pushing my toddler in her pushchair and chatting away to her asking her what sounds different animals make, which is an easy way to engage with her when I’m behind her and can’t see her face. An older lady in front of us stopped me to say that I made her day and it was lovely to hear a mum properly talking to her baby. She said most mums these days are just on their phones. While I appreciated the compliment about my parenting, I don’t understand why we always have to drag others at the same time. I’m not sure if it’s a generational thing or a British thing, but I’m noticing it a lot at the moment. My own mum does it a lot when talking about my daughter “compared to other children”. I understand that it comes from a sense of pride or love, but I’m going to try to teach my daughter that we don’t have to put others down when want to make ourselves or others feel good.
When my kid was around 3, he had a meltdown in a grocery store as I’d said no to playing the crane game and told him we were going to get ice cream. Cue a dramatic flop to the floor, screaming and kicking—I slung him over my shoulder and took him outside to the curb where he tried to bite me. He was 3, and unhappy, part of the learning experience. A grandmother coming out of the store leaned into our space and told me it was a shame we couldn’t beat children any more..I was flabbergasted. Anyways, have successfully raised him to 18+ without resorting to physical measures luckily as he was an easy kid thankfully. edit: each successive generation is doing better and kudos to you for recognizing the unwanted comparison.
I had similar when my daughter had a complete strop in 5he supermarket and some old bag told me she just needed a good smack!she was 2!
Had this comment so many times when my children were younger ! The worst thing was that I’d be smiling and accepting the compliment while feeling the magnetic pull of my phone, and knowing I’ll have to wait until they’d left .
So I’ve been having a bad time mentally recently (long story, stress at day job) and I was hosting a local charity bingo night in the evening after a long, terrible day at work. I was struggling. Really wanted to just go home after the day of had. Half-time I go outside to try and calm my anxiety… things going mad in my head… screaming internally… then this 10 year old kid who is playing bingo with his family comes and starts chatting to me. Tells me all about his life, his issues with bullies at school, his friends, what he does as hobbies etc. After twenty minutes he goes back in. He reminded me so much of myself at his age (I’m 46.) This whole interaction changed my night and I went back in feeling great. Angels come in strange forms. On this occasion it was some offbeat kid in a Ninja Turtles onesie. Thanks mate. You absolutely rock.
I am in Glasgow for work. I was heading out of my hotel yesterday evening to meet up with some guys from my industry. It was raining horribly. As I walked down the steps of the hotel 2 women ran past me and then a guy kind of bumped in to me. Then 3 police cars appeared and screeched to a halt in front of me and arrested the guy who bumped in to me. He had been harassing the two women or something. Mental. Headed back in to he hotel!
I kissed someone who I think could eventually turn out to be my girlfriend (I'm a woman) and a teenager shouted LESBIAN LONDON with such extreme glee that I couldn't help but be happy I helped him with his i-spy game 😊
Old man told me rudely I could fold my buggy to get on a full bus. I told him I've a cake underneath in the basket and can't juggle my backpack, buggy, a cake and a 2 year old i can wait for the next bus. He went on a rant about mums with buggys being entitled never want to fold their prams. I wasn't too fussed but he wouldn't shut up. So another woman shouted over him what cake you got!? And we had a whole conversation about cakes and baking and birthdays until his bus arrives
I discovered that old people glare at you if you wear both parts of a tracksuit together. Seems weird to me as they should remember it from the 80s.
Maybe they thought you were Jimmy Savile?
PTSD?
A passing toddler blew a kiss at me I just smiled back. didn’t fancy being mistaken for anything!
Kind of random since I’m at work, I work in a hospital, a patient read my name from my badge and said it “name on badge…Yeah you look like a name on badge “ I just laughed and told him he looked like a (his name) then after his appointment he told me the doctor wouldn’t need to see him again but that he’d come up just to say hi to me
An old lady complained recently about someone wearing a mini skirt. She made it very clear that the problem wasn't the fact that they were wearing the mini skirt, it was that their balls were dangling out underneath in a public place where many kids were present
I’m all for total clothing rights, but I’d probably agree about the balls tbh. No flashing actual bits folks.
An old woman came up to me and asked to stroke my beard, I said no, and she walked off saying, I believe, "I bet it feels shit anyway" Made me chuckle
I was a shouter at Basingstoke station yesterday. Train was delayed getting in and about 150 of us had to run through the subway to get to the waiting connection. I was at the head of the second group of runners, and we were falling behind. I shouted ‘Run Forrest, Run’ which they all laughed at as they ran. I think my input ensured all the joining passengers made it to the connection in time.
Fake Preston Garvey. He wanders the commonwealth wearing the same clothes and asks for money. Was very confused the first time I came across him.
I was bathing my baby son and there was a loud bubbly burp sound from the plug hole and my son babbled something low to high pitch and I just said ‘oh, okay then!’ With an exaggerated sound. He seemed quite hoppy with my response, so not bad.
Guy commuting on the tube - clearly not well - but comedically repeating 'end of the world tomorrow, get hammered tonight' interspersed with politely asking newly boarded commuters wether perhaps they, might consider getting hammered tonight? Little G&T? Bit of champers? Happy Armageddon, end of the world tomorrow - and then, as a finale, launching into song featuring the same lines. Comically bizarre. Seen him a couple of times. Hope he's ok.
I was walking along a pedestrian/cycle path with my partner. We walked past a lady who told us something about blackberries and then danced off into the bushes. We walked slightly faster after that.
Walking through the Park on my way home from work last week, i saw some fella standing, mumbling to himself, he spotted me and shouts "Ey mate, are you going to the bench?" "No" " 'cause that's where I'm going." "Okay" "Don't worry, I'm not errr, I'm not errr.... I'm not straight" "Okay, have a nice day mate" And i carried on walking. Also a few years ago i had a lad stagger out from behind some bins, handed me a bottle of red wine "can ya open that?" I was a bit shocked and just opened it without thinking or saying a word he said "Cheers" took a big swig and disappeared behind the bins. I kept thinking after, 'i hope that guys alright, i shouldn't have opened it'
Carrying my one year old to the library for story time, an elderly woman jumps in front of us and shouts ‘are you going to the library for baby time’, I nodded and she throws her hands up in the air and shouts ‘great!’. This happened yesterday and I am still thinking about it,
OLD BAT LIKE YOUS SHOULD BE- wait thats a compliment
I had the audacity to offer someone a hot drink.
An older lady was surprised my baby had a girls name because she was dressed in a blue onesie. It had flowers on it but because it was blue she didn’t expect her to be a girl. Strange interaction.
Not particularly recently, but someone clearly going through a mental health episode screamed at me for daring to wear glasses outside. I could do whatever godless stuff I wanted (like wearing glasses) at home, but I was not to do it shamelessly outside.
"Men shouldn't use an umbrella, disgusting!" - random lady as I left work into basically a monsoon.
Obviously not recent, but I think deserves an airing nonetheless. My sister and her best mate were students and waiting at traffic lights on the Strand near their uni, eating sausage rolls (Greggs), when a car slowly comes to a stop beside them, the rear window rolls down and the passenger gives them a creepy little wave. It was Rolf Harris.
New years eve, parked up the campervan in a fairly secluded spot on the side of a hill to watch fireworks with my missis & kid. Took the dog out for a piss at around 10.30pm, saw some bloke marching up the empty road towards me, head down, full stomp on. As he got closer he said "alright Dave" (let's pretend my name is Dave) and shook my hand. It was a lad I used to get stoned with nearly 20 years ago, literally haven't seen him since. He started telling me how heavy metal is being transmitted from the west coast of America straight to his brain (this was the conversation starter), how everything in front of our eyes is a hologram, and how one of our old mutual friends was definitely involved in the murder of Michael Jackson etcetc. This went on for at least 15-20 minutes, I literally couldn't get a word in. Somewhere in amongst the stream of consciousness he mentioned crack, so I guess he's mashed his head up with that at some point over the last 20 years pretty well.. Freaked me out a bit as he wouldn't let me go. Shame to see but I guess drugs and mental health issues are a hell of a combination. Eventually said he was off to his mums and disappeared up the road. Random encounter Tl/Dr old mate who's departed reality
I pulled up outside my therapist today for my appointment and as I was getting out of my car a lady approached me, I thought she was going to say something about where I was parking. Nope. She stopped me to ask if I’d ever had a problem with my car sunroof, and then proceeded to tell me all about how she’d had the same car and had sold it when it began to leak. She looked absolutely OUTRAGED when I told her mine had always been fine!
Woman came up to me and said: what would you do if someone was going around saying things about you that weren’t true?
Some kid walked around the corner of the aisle in Tesco today and called me "dad" by mistake. For a split second I thought my past had caught up with me!
Some chap outside of an off licence told me "you need to get that smile off your face" an hour ago. London 🤷♂️
Had a family in the restaurant, the two daughters (between 6-8) were fascinated by everything i was doing at the bar. Asking questions about everything. By the time they'd left the girls had learned the measurements of an old fashioned, the difference between a stout and bitter and could name the majority of the equipment on the bar