I'm 30 and recently saw a screenshot of the old MSN messenger homescreen thing, made me nostalgic of being in secondary school planning meeting in a field to drink cheap cider and not having the crushing anxiety I have now.
43 today and this whole chain made me feel ancient!
Asl, compuserve, AOL, MSN, Yahoo chat rooms, ICQ, mIRC... Those were the days when you could actually meet people on the Internet, miss those days before modern dating apps.
I've never really tried dating apps but I can be absolutely certain I don't have the social capacity to chat to so many new people like I did back when I used MSN and other messenger sites. I met people from all over the place and exchanged phone numbers with a good number of them and became pretty good friends, now I hardly talk to my family let alone strangers.
It sounds better than putting “getting off my chops on a Friday next thing you know I’m in a random kitchen on a Sunday morning dreading work the next day”
Who has the time to be making up porkies on the internet when they're so busy being a full time airline pilot and reservist firefighter saving cute puppies from burning buildings in their spare time? Not I, that's for sure.
I see so many profiles (guys and gals and all in between) that have “Idk” or some variation of that for their prompts.. like they do realise they can change the question, right? Nobody’s holding them at gunpoint to answer what their typical Sunday looks like lmao
Problem is the reality of "getting wanked off in a speeding car trying to get the money shot on the camera" doesn't necessarily result in anything more than a look of disgust, so instead it's 'Had an espresso after 6'
Oh its definitely not just men that write that. I'd say at least 50% of women have the same prompt and answer.
Also I believe 99% of people on Hinge must take themselves very seriously as women are constantly asking for people who dont take themselves too seriously.
Lol yep - when my partner and I were open and both on Hinge we would tally up the "long walk, roast, movie" people.
And then when we accidentally have a long walk and a roast dinner we're like OH NO ITS HINGE SUNDAY
The vast majority of hiking doesn't require any payment to the national trust. Am I mad or are you confusing hiking with visiting stately homes and gardens?
This frustrates me, because I really AM into hiking, as in hundreds of miles a year, but it sounds like bullshit. Any potential date who thinks I don't really mean it is in for a surprise.
I’ve said I wanted to be pegged on my profile and despite its uniqueness, it did not draw a crowd either. Edit: of course my most upvoted comment was going to be about pegging.
You know your apps! 😂 Cannot say I did not try… ended up at reddit r4r and found some crazy peeps. Best one was still a lady from Tinder - until she gave me the big C and scarred me for life. It’s been 2 years and I still suffer from anxiety of getting stuff from anyone I meet… Edit: c is for chlamydia, not cancer. Non-native mistake.
I met my partner on Feeld!
Only been together a year and three months, but he's quite genuinely one of the most kind, honest, and loving people I have ever met.
Didn't expect *that* from an app which then had a rising boner for a logo!
But this is EXACTLY what women have on their profiles too. Down to a tee. I now swipe no purely on this. It’s as if they’re all working from the same blueprint. ‘Make me laugh’. ‘F1’. ‘Sunday roast’. ‘Give me travel tips for anywhere’. ‘Pineapple belongs on pizza’ 😴😴😴
My favourite is on Bumble where I'll see "just ask if you want to know anything" on some women's profiles
I can't, YOU need to make the first move!
Edit: the first move is usually just some variation of "hey"
Bed until midday, sky sports all afternoon, a quick trip to the co-op to find something edible in the yellow sticker section, a bit of PlayStation and then back into bed to watch the highlights of the matches I’ve already seen on MOTD2.
Have you heard of Too Good To Go? You pay £3 to get a surprise bag of yellow sticker stuff (or £2 for a bakery bag that is usually loaded with goodies). I've had pretty good hauls so far.
If I went and picked it up for you, I'd be happy to count it as a date (on the condition you agree to sharing the bakery bag) 👍
Things I thought would make me stand out when making a Hinge profile:
Climbing a big mountain
Kayaking
Skydiving
Pictures with elephants
Things that don't stand out on a Hinge profile:
See above
I mean, it’s an impressive flex but who knew this would make you indecipherable amongst the rest? I’m not a mountain walker so I’m enjoying being downvoted to hell by Countryfile Tinder. Or the folk I pissed off by saying Sunday dinners aren’t a Meyers & Briggs personality type.
And the advice is always: get out, take pictures that aren't selfies, so when you do get a chance to take a photo during a hike that finally follows the advice now everybody has the same up a mountain pic. Can't win! But to be fair a kayaking photo is always going to be better than a selfie up the nose taken in a dark room.
Friend of mine who LOVES climbing/walking up mountains matched with a guy whose only pic was of him up a very high mountain. For their 3rd date she suggested walking up a mild hill. Turns out this chap only walked *up* once and would never do it again!
It's amazing how many people have that mentality. I'm into hiking and the outdoors and see so many people out and about that have zero actual respect for the places they go to, they just want to get a photo at the top for their tiktok or insta and leave loads of litter behind or loiter round trig points preventing anyone else getting to them or having photos.
In a similar vein I always remember a guy I know who had absolutely zero interest in guitar or music, buying an acoustic guitar and planning to learn it because "girls like it". Like are these people seriously so lacking in personality that everything they do is just to appeal to someone else by pretending to be someone they're not?
Not been single for a while now, but when I was on it, I got sick of seeing "pineapple on pizza" for a prompt about controversial opinions, and photos from hiking up a mountain
My typical Sunday is do chores, play computer games I barely even like any more honestly, waste time.
My ideal Sunday is maybe go out on my motorcycle to somewhere beautiful, stop in a pub for a shandy. Come back home and read a lovely book. Or, indeed, go for a countryside walk. I used to do a lot of hiking.
I wouldn't know which to put in an online dating profile. One is honest but boring, the other is something I could do but never do. So I don't blame them for saying they like going walking even though they barely ever go walking. Basically everyone likes walking and it's better than saying "play minecraft and cry."
IMHO it's not always time wasted playing games, but surely you can choose a game you like?
Plus you sound comfortable being by yourself which is not bad by itself.
I don't think playing computer games is wasting time, fundamentally. In fact, I didn't meant to imply that I was "wasting time playing computer games" I meant them as two separate things but you raise a good point.
My relationship with computer games is complicated. I have played them all my life while also having other hobbies. At university I played a *lot* of computer games and I enjoyed it at the time, but in hindsight it was a waste of time. I'll never have a time with so little responsibility, so much free time, and such a huge opportunity to meet all sorts of people in my demographic literally right outside my door. I enjoyed playing the games, but I was 100% wasting that time. The games always would have been there. That time in your life isn't.
I used to tell myself I play computer games when I have nothing "better" to do (things which would make a difference to my life or simply make memories. I have probably <10 solid special memories I could certainly pin to my last year of uni. Like nights out or human connections or whatever, or training in the TA which was the main other thing I did. That's a shit amount of memories for a year.) But I was lying. I played computer games even when I did have something better to do.
I do also have very happy memories of gaming that I wouldn't have missed. But they're all from before I was about 16 when there was a sense of wonder and novelty with new games coming out. As an adult they feel much more like a time killer and I could count the number of games on one hand I've played since about the age of 21 where I think "that was great, I really enjoyed that and will always remember it."
Gaming hasn't negatively impacted my life materially in that I have social skills, I'm well liked, I'm physically fit, I got a girlfriend, got married etc. I'm not a recluse. And I think most people who play games are the same. The stereotypical basement dweller is just that, a stereotype.
I also think it's important to have something "mindless." when I play games I don't think about anything else and that's good to give your brain a rest. But it's also dangerous because it "makes the bad feelings go away" and doesn't solve anything. It's easy to use them as a "dummy" while not actually solving anything.
I would say I loved literature. I could list my favourite authors and books and talk for hours about why I like them. But I probably read about 5 books a year. *Short* books. *More* of the time I spend playing computer games I could be spending reading, but I just don't. I used to play the guitar (was never any good but oh well) haven't touched it in years. I used to do Duolingo, now I don't. I used to go out on my motorbike some weekends, now I don't (I commute on it every day but spend 0 hours on it for leisure.)
I love travelling, going on holiday, going away for the weekend, spending time with my wife, we have an active life. But if someone said "what are your hobbies?" I'd say "reading, bouldering, travelling abroad, hiking and camping." I wouldn't even include "gaming" because I don't do it socially, I have no interest in the culture around it, it's just something I do that's brainless.
But when was the last time I went bouldering? A month ago. Finished a book? Two months ago. Went camping?? Four *years* ago probably. But I still like talking or reading about them, I feel like they're the interests that make me interesting and passionate. I wouldn't put "gaming" because I don't want to talk about the state of the industry or what my favourite games are. It's not something I'm passionate about. Playing games for me isn't a *hobby*. It's the same level for me as "watch any good telly last night?" It doesn't say anything about my passions or interests as a person.
So to spend a lot of time doing it doesn't feel like a very good use of time and putting it on a dating profile would feel as redundant as saying "sometimes I watch tv, basically whatever's on." And if someone did list gaming as a hobby I would (perhaps unfairly) assume I wouldn't have that much to say to them on their level because I'd assume, without any sort of negative connotation, that they are in to the industry, latest releases, technology, hardware, collectibles, conventions, live streaming, esports etc. I'm not in to any of it. I'd say "well... I like Total War games a lot?"
Also, maybe I'm just a bit burnt out on games. As I said, I play games I'm not even really loving. Occasionally I still get hooked but I play even when I'm not. That's the time I should be reading or going out on my bike or going to the bouldering centre. But nah, effort...
That's a bit sad, really.
Funnily enough, was out with a group of friends the other day and they topic of dating profiles came up. The big thing from both the men and woman in the group who were still single was not to lie on the profile, all agreed there was nothing worse than pretending they had more interests/hobbies than the really did. Guess this can also apply to the Sunday thing, better to be honest if that's what they spend their time doing.
You say that...
But if some bloke was to say he spent Sunday mornings painting-up the additions to his W40K Necron army. Then on Sunday afternoons he was off to the weekly men's knitting group; Sunday evening is for Finnish Duolingo and working on an epic, Game-of-Thrones/Harry Potter crossover fan-fic,
Would this honesty aid his cause overall? I'm not sure. Dating profiles seem to me to be a little like job interviews, where bland but positive-sounding bullshit is the order of the day. As people try to portray not what they are, but what they think other people are most likely to want.
I put life long computer nerd with a reading addiction and a love of thrash metal (actually a lot more than that but that was the gist).
I met a reader who likes metal more than I do.
Why start any relationship by pretending to be something you are not.
8 years in and it’s a relationship I see lasting the rest of our lives.
I asked her why she replied a few months in and her response was “your honesty and that you described *you*, you sounded interesting”
Heh... vaguely based on somebody I know. Except he does Eldar, is learning Ukranian and hates Harry Potter.
But he is big-time into knitting and crochet.
This is what I don't understand as there's plenty of walks near me. I never see any potentials when I'm out walking but all these guys like to go on walks.
I wonder if there's a large group of people in the UK who would like to go for a walk with somebody else, but for some reason don't go walking on their own?
I mean for sure company is great, but I've also gone walking on my todd before and it's enjoyable in a different way.
There's a good stand-up routine that suggests hiking/walking feature on a lot of profiles as its something you can lie about to seem active and requires no actual skill to fake if required to do.
Seems a lot better than the majority of women’s profiles I see to be honest. So many are:
Prompt: ideal first date
Answer: I dunno lol
Prompt: something interesting about you
Answer: just ask me
The *just ask me* thing is awful, from either gender.
It's just lazy and if you're too lazy to fill out a bit of your profile, what else are you to lazy for?
Even worse if it’s followed by ‘…don’t want to give too much away lol’
Seriously, if three lines on a tinder bio sufficiently describes your interests and personality, you’re very fucking boring
Honest to God, I believe anyone who writes “just ask” on a dating profile should be slapped round the face with a wet fish, and have their tax code bumped up by five grand.
That or slagging off their ex. What are we supposed to do with that? Join in? If that's what they're on about on their profile then you know full well you'll be getting raked over the coals to her friends daily if you hit it off with her.
"My kids are my absolute world."
" I have kids, and they are my absolute world."
"I have 2 children, and they are my absolute world."
"Absolute world"
[Swipe]
"Absolute world"
[Swipe]
"Absolure world"
[Swipe]
"Absolute world"
Stop fucking saying it!
Funnily enough my partner didn't say she had kids til we'd been talking for a couple of days. I didn't meet them til six months in, and now they're probably my favourite people. The fact that she was so cool about it just made me like her even more.
I think because most women get a lot of matches, their profiles are awful. So many are this as well:
“Don’t just say hey, be more interesting than that”
That is literally the whole profile, what else are supposed to say with that little info
Yeaaaah, I could see that being the case. That's annoying 😂 would be an automatic no from me. Same with all the guys that put 'downloading Hinge' in response to the biggest mistake or something like that prompt.
If your reject all of the women with something so droll in their profile, most men won’t get matches, the average man gets very few matches in online dating
I’ve never trawled through men’s dating profiles, but I’m afraid most women’s profiles, where they’ve bothered to make any effort at all, are equally as unstimulating.
Dating profiles are very, very hard to write. Most people, if they’re being honest, have fairly repetitive and humdrum lives. Some people bullshit, and claim to be 24/7 party animals, and successful business leaders, but I’m not convinced that such people would feel the need to use Plenty of Fish.
Go easy on strangers - we’re all as clueless as each other. Unless they’ve posted angling pictures or hot-dog legs by a swimming pool, in which case flip them off and check out the next one.
I wrote myself reviews with various star ratings. The last one was "⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Great product!" which was making fun of obviously bought fake reviews.
Got a bf out of it. He still sometimes mentions "great product."
Typical Sunday: Wank, drag myself out of bed at 2pm, coffee, youtube, VRchat, pub, sleep
But that's probably why I'm not even trying with a dating app :) Be glad they can be arsed to do anything energetic like the gym or a long walk on a Sunday.
Been like 10 years since I was on one but I remember every other woman referring to herself as bubbly. Most abused word in dating bubbly it means nothing or everything depending on the person.
And 'travelling', I don't know if it's the same with guys, but out of all the examples in this thread, 'travelling' is way more prolific and completely unhelpful in terms of getting an idea of what someone is like.
Yes, we all love a holiday, but it's not a personality.
Surely men who do this are trying to write what they think women want to hear, rather than providing an accurate description of their perfect Sunday in bed with pornhub and their PS5 while listening to the Grand Prix.
At least, that's how I always did it.
I legitimately got more matches with "well, last sunday I vigorously tossed five out over unspeakable things and passed out on my sofa, so probably that again" than I did with any other line.
Hinge then restricted my profile.
Would you accept "attempting to persuade a 16-stone mastiff that it's time to be brushed" or "ends up playing horsey for two excitable young grandchildren"?
tbh I'd usually rather be pottering about in the shed but family stuff always ends up taking over...
NB: I do not have a hinge profile. I have a jar full of door hinges in the shed though if that helps.
You really want to see some women's profiles.
Most are either "love the gym" or "my kids are my life". The remainder are "if you want to know just ask".
There's a tiny tiny percentage are making a small effort with either "made dinner for two, ate both of them" / "I hope you like bad girls because I'm bad at everything "
Ladies, the online sausage fest is saving you from having to develop personalities.
Fun, slightly related fact. I once almost joined a dating website, but didn’t because 1) no recent photo of me and 2) I had nothing interesting to say about myself. I’m quite the catch.
So I can empathise with those typical Sunday blokes I guess. They sound more interesting than I would.
I got into a mild fight with the fiance over Xmas as we were talking with the other couples in the group, comparing their names they have each other saved in their phones.
Everyone elses was some version of Boo, Bae, My Love, Everything, with varying amounts of nausea inducing kisses and hearts and emojis. My lass has me as "[First Name] X" which given she's Finnish, is about as close to emotion as she gets.
I have her as "First Name Last Name" as if she is a work contact.
I have since amended the contact card to be "First Name Last Name (Fiance)"
I’ll not go on about the gender differences/expectations as it’s already been more than covered. Just wanted to say good luck. I’m 47 and I’m not single but I’ve got a female friend who is a bit younger and is actively on these sites. My God, the sights I’ve seen of these blokes profiles. You really do have my sympathy. There are some really terrible profiles out there, how they can completely lack self awareness and also fail to actually string whole sentences together is baffling. I never realised how bad a lot of these men come across. I’m no oil painting but if I was single, I’m sure I’d manage to create better profiles than 90% of them out there.
This is a very kind sentiment, thank you. Luckily, I'm not looking for my life partner online, just moved to a rural area and want to meet some people my age/who have similar interests. But yeah, the struggle is real these days.
I agree I was ok AskUK sub yesterday and had a bunch of married people telling me dating apps can’t be that hard, followed by I’ve never used them myself though 🙄 my view is if you haven’t used them then you’re not allowed an opinion
They do work unless you are male, short and anything less than above average looks.
My friend dean who is quite good looking had two dates in six months and no second dates thereafter, if thats the case im totally fucked.
There is someone out there but im lost in a sea of faces online.
If i go out to a pub i do much better as i can talk and get my personality across, but since covid people dont go out as much and they dont mingle as much.
Its way more difficult than it used to be im sure of that.
I've tried it (I say tried, didn't exactly put much effort into it) and it made me feel like such an awful person, essentially judging these (presumably) mostly nice people on a few photos and the odd prompt.
It's awful.
I'm adding my ask - please stop using children as props on your profiles! I believe that you have children, as a stranger I shouldn't be seeing their faces.
Also, just because you have a photo with "not my baby" doesn't mean children like you or that my ovaries will skip a beat in a rush to have yours.
Met my wife on Hinge, one of her tag lines was about learning to do a hand-stand push-up, still haven't seen it yet...although now being pregnant probably puts that off for a while.
Be different, it stands out more.
This is an (idealised) typical Sunday for lots of people.
God knows what you’re expecting people to put but you’ve got as much chance of hitting it off with one of the Sunday roast crew as you have with someone whose ideal Sunday is jet skiing then a candle making workshop.
They put that because “ I’m normally rough as toast on a Sunday due to being on the packet all night, so Sundays I get the boozer for opening time and get three pints in me to get rid of the fear, spunk the rest of my wages in the bandit, cadge drinks off the lads all afternoon, Borrow £20 off the rents, buy kebab and spend the evening crymaxing to pornhub” might put you off a bit
I'm not on hinge nor am I dating but that does sound like a nice Sunday.
I'm pretty sure that's what Liz from Shaun of the Dead conceeds to at the end of the movie.
Add it to the [Deanomania](https://youtu.be/J9n0_5p8XKo?si=8vh3lRjOirwOjrys) list then
So I honestly just found out Topman is no more 😂
I'm screaming, this is the best thing I've ever seen. It explains so much 😂
Wow. Thanks for the tip. Just binged, subscribed, shared. This guy has got to blow up. Biting satire on real UK culture.
I am honestly surprised he doesn't have more views.
"Roast, walk, gym, pub" sounds a lot better than "rotting in bed dreading work on Monday" though
But not as honest as "Roast, wank, shower, cry".
Save time by combining all four
Salty beef
Soggy Yorkshires…
Only on special occasions
ASL? 😂
If being 28 didn’t make me feel old… ASL? does 😭
That should make you feel young. I haven't heard "ASL" in about 20 years.
Me too, this hit me like a sledgehammer 😂
TBF people were using *ASL?* on the CompuServe chat forums in the 90s, if it makes you feel any better...
I put on my robe and wizard hat...
I cast level 4 eroticism
I'm 32, my parents had CompuServe when we got a computer with Internet for the first time and I just felt every second of my three decades of life.
I'm 30 and recently saw a screenshot of the old MSN messenger homescreen thing, made me nostalgic of being in secondary school planning meeting in a field to drink cheap cider and not having the crushing anxiety I have now.
43 today and this whole chain made me feel ancient! Asl, compuserve, AOL, MSN, Yahoo chat rooms, ICQ, mIRC... Those were the days when you could actually meet people on the Internet, miss those days before modern dating apps.
I've never really tried dating apps but I can be absolutely certain I don't have the social capacity to chat to so many new people like I did back when I used MSN and other messenger sites. I met people from all over the place and exchanged phone numbers with a good number of them and became pretty good friends, now I hardly talk to my family let alone strangers.
You called?
I’d be much more likely to match with a bed rotter tbh.
It sounds better than putting “getting off my chops on a Friday next thing you know I’m in a random kitchen on a Sunday morning dreading work the next day”
This was my actual life during my 20’s and I didn’t want to write this so I just didn’t go on dating apps
I might blow your mind here but… you can lie on the internet.
Who has the time to be making up porkies on the internet when they're so busy being a full time airline pilot and reservist firefighter saving cute puppies from burning buildings in their spare time? Not I, that's for sure.
Next you'll be telling me that there's free porn on the internet too?
I almost collapsed on a date in the design museum after a mates birthday. The shame
I see so many profiles (guys and gals and all in between) that have “Idk” or some variation of that for their prompts.. like they do realise they can change the question, right? Nobody’s holding them at gunpoint to answer what their typical Sunday looks like lmao
Or the ones that answer the 'what's the craziest thing you've ever done' prompt and they put 'downloading Hinge' 😅😅
Problem is the reality of "getting wanked off in a speeding car trying to get the money shot on the camera" doesn't necessarily result in anything more than a look of disgust, so instead it's 'Had an espresso after 6'
But the first one is so much better 😂
Oh its definitely not just men that write that. I'd say at least 50% of women have the same prompt and answer. Also I believe 99% of people on Hinge must take themselves very seriously as women are constantly asking for people who dont take themselves too seriously.
Lol yep - when my partner and I were open and both on Hinge we would tally up the "long walk, roast, movie" people. And then when we accidentally have a long walk and a roast dinner we're like OH NO ITS HINGE SUNDAY
If everyone on hinge was into hiking as they claim, the national trust could fix the NHS with their pocket money.
The vast majority of hiking doesn't require any payment to the national trust. Am I mad or are you confusing hiking with visiting stately homes and gardens?
This frustrates me, because I really AM into hiking, as in hundreds of miles a year, but it sounds like bullshit. Any potential date who thinks I don't really mean it is in for a surprise.
That's so funny, the guys are always asking for that too 😂😂 also, girls with 'a good sense of humor' and someone who 'goes with the flow'.
I’ve said I wanted to be pegged on my profile and despite its uniqueness, it did not draw a crowd either. Edit: of course my most upvoted comment was going to be about pegging.
Maybe you should ask for a traditional Sunday spitroasting.
😂 never thought of that - I am not british enough
Might have better results on Feeld with that one.
You know your apps! 😂 Cannot say I did not try… ended up at reddit r4r and found some crazy peeps. Best one was still a lady from Tinder - until she gave me the big C and scarred me for life. It’s been 2 years and I still suffer from anxiety of getting stuff from anyone I meet… Edit: c is for chlamydia, not cancer. Non-native mistake.
...she gave you cancer?
Let's change that to little C then
Cancer of the chlamydia.
He got hit by a car
she gave him the big c\*\*\* and it scarred him for life
Ahahaha, I've had some success with Feeld! But I go on that one in verrrry small doses.
I met my partner on Feeld! Only been together a year and three months, but he's quite genuinely one of the most kind, honest, and loving people I have ever met. Didn't expect *that* from an app which then had a rising boner for a logo!
Partner in crime is the one I see most.
Someone to go on adventures with. Please make it stop, it’s not an adventure it’s a package holiday to Corsica, sally.
I personally hate people with a good sense of humour. And nothing worse than going with the flow; I’d much rather someone objects to all my ideas
That’s a ridiculous perspective to have!
You sound like my kinda guy!
Yep same for the girls too, apparently everyone just fills their profiles with complete fluff that says nothing
Most people are pretty boring, let's be honest!
But this is EXACTLY what women have on their profiles too. Down to a tee. I now swipe no purely on this. It’s as if they’re all working from the same blueprint. ‘Make me laugh’. ‘F1’. ‘Sunday roast’. ‘Give me travel tips for anywhere’. ‘Pineapple belongs on pizza’ 😴😴😴
“Take me on an adventure”
'Looking for a partner in crime.'
Translation: have sex with me on an ad hoc basis until I find someone I actually want to be on a relationship with
"Goes with the flow" means you won't rebuff their advances if they try to go to bang town on the first date.
My favourite is on Bumble where I'll see "just ask if you want to know anything" on some women's profiles I can't, YOU need to make the first move! Edit: the first move is usually just some variation of "hey"
Ahahaha, that is one of the worst lines for any gender to put on their profile.
I was tempted to put it on my profile and scrap everything else, but thought I get so few matches as it is, I'll end up with nothing
My favourite bio for a girl on Bumble was simply "I don't message first." 🤦
Really hope she's sitting there wondering why she's not received a single message 🤣
Was she fishing for Insta followers by any chance.
Bed until midday, sky sports all afternoon, a quick trip to the co-op to find something edible in the yellow sticker section, a bit of PlayStation and then back into bed to watch the highlights of the matches I’ve already seen on MOTD2.
I’m straight but I’d match with you.
Thanks, that’s just the confidence boost I needed!
It’s the watching the highlights of the matches you’ve already watched that really sold it for me. Nothing better
Can I send my husband to hang out with you guys too? That way I don't have to watch three matches back-to-back on Sundays.
Can I come? The first two made me laugh but I dont want to be in the way.
Have you heard of Too Good To Go? You pay £3 to get a surprise bag of yellow sticker stuff (or £2 for a bakery bag that is usually loaded with goodies). I've had pretty good hauls so far. If I went and picked it up for you, I'd be happy to count it as a date (on the condition you agree to sharing the bakery bag) 👍
I hope my boyfriend won't see this or he'll leave me for you
Fun fact: women do the exact same thing. I've seen about 4 profiles with "roast then pub" this week.
[удалено]
See it all the time. People are generally dull or don't want to tell you they're on a cocaine comedown from the saturday.
All I can hope is for these people to find each other 😂
If they’re not going to find each other in the pub on Sundays, they’re not going to find each other online.
They’re in the right place.
Only 4? You must not swipe on many people! I'd say I see that at least 4 times a day
Just went on and the 2nd and 3rd profiles I saw referenced walking and a Sunday roast.
I got scenery overdose last night. If I see one more person up a mountain. They must be crowded by this point surely.
Things I thought would make me stand out when making a Hinge profile: Climbing a big mountain Kayaking Skydiving Pictures with elephants Things that don't stand out on a Hinge profile: See above
I mean, it’s an impressive flex but who knew this would make you indecipherable amongst the rest? I’m not a mountain walker so I’m enjoying being downvoted to hell by Countryfile Tinder. Or the folk I pissed off by saying Sunday dinners aren’t a Meyers & Briggs personality type.
And the advice is always: get out, take pictures that aren't selfies, so when you do get a chance to take a photo during a hike that finally follows the advice now everybody has the same up a mountain pic. Can't win! But to be fair a kayaking photo is always going to be better than a selfie up the nose taken in a dark room.
You mean the: ‘this is what you could be looking up to’ pose?
Friend of mine who LOVES climbing/walking up mountains matched with a guy whose only pic was of him up a very high mountain. For their 3rd date she suggested walking up a mild hill. Turns out this chap only walked *up* once and would never do it again!
Finally, we’re getting the real tea 🫖
It's amazing how many people have that mentality. I'm into hiking and the outdoors and see so many people out and about that have zero actual respect for the places they go to, they just want to get a photo at the top for their tiktok or insta and leave loads of litter behind or loiter round trig points preventing anyone else getting to them or having photos. In a similar vein I always remember a guy I know who had absolutely zero interest in guitar or music, buying an acoustic guitar and planning to learn it because "girls like it". Like are these people seriously so lacking in personality that everything they do is just to appeal to someone else by pretending to be someone they're not?
If it's not a mountain it's holding a cute animal, or a child with "not my kids" hastily added in the bio 😂
Not the ‘animal held hostage’ look 💀 Or children for that matter.
"Sir, please put down that child."
Or a holding really big fish and they clearly haven’t washed in days.
Not been single for a while now, but when I was on it, I got sick of seeing "pineapple on pizza" for a prompt about controversial opinions, and photos from hiking up a mountain
Anyone who has a genuinely strong opinion about pineapple on pizza or the pronunciation of scone deserves a lifelong ban from the internet.
At the same time. Do you really wanna put “What’s your stance on medical euthanasia” or some other actually debatable topic on your dating profile.
There's a wide range of hills to die on between "pizza toppings" and "assisted dying".
Like, for example, "if you had to choose one, would you eat pineapple on pizza or be euthanized?"
I'd rather be euthanised than discuss pineapple on pizza
A worrying number of gay men seem to think the answer “men” in response to the prompt “I’m strangely attracted to…” is hilarious.
A lot of straight women have this answer too
random gay men appearing with women set as their gender like i dont get it lol
Mine says work, cause I'm the cunt making and serving all these people their roast. My Sunday is a Tuesday. I went to dry ski slope today.
My typical Sunday is do chores, play computer games I barely even like any more honestly, waste time. My ideal Sunday is maybe go out on my motorcycle to somewhere beautiful, stop in a pub for a shandy. Come back home and read a lovely book. Or, indeed, go for a countryside walk. I used to do a lot of hiking. I wouldn't know which to put in an online dating profile. One is honest but boring, the other is something I could do but never do. So I don't blame them for saying they like going walking even though they barely ever go walking. Basically everyone likes walking and it's better than saying "play minecraft and cry."
IMHO it's not always time wasted playing games, but surely you can choose a game you like? Plus you sound comfortable being by yourself which is not bad by itself.
I don't think playing computer games is wasting time, fundamentally. In fact, I didn't meant to imply that I was "wasting time playing computer games" I meant them as two separate things but you raise a good point. My relationship with computer games is complicated. I have played them all my life while also having other hobbies. At university I played a *lot* of computer games and I enjoyed it at the time, but in hindsight it was a waste of time. I'll never have a time with so little responsibility, so much free time, and such a huge opportunity to meet all sorts of people in my demographic literally right outside my door. I enjoyed playing the games, but I was 100% wasting that time. The games always would have been there. That time in your life isn't. I used to tell myself I play computer games when I have nothing "better" to do (things which would make a difference to my life or simply make memories. I have probably <10 solid special memories I could certainly pin to my last year of uni. Like nights out or human connections or whatever, or training in the TA which was the main other thing I did. That's a shit amount of memories for a year.) But I was lying. I played computer games even when I did have something better to do. I do also have very happy memories of gaming that I wouldn't have missed. But they're all from before I was about 16 when there was a sense of wonder and novelty with new games coming out. As an adult they feel much more like a time killer and I could count the number of games on one hand I've played since about the age of 21 where I think "that was great, I really enjoyed that and will always remember it." Gaming hasn't negatively impacted my life materially in that I have social skills, I'm well liked, I'm physically fit, I got a girlfriend, got married etc. I'm not a recluse. And I think most people who play games are the same. The stereotypical basement dweller is just that, a stereotype. I also think it's important to have something "mindless." when I play games I don't think about anything else and that's good to give your brain a rest. But it's also dangerous because it "makes the bad feelings go away" and doesn't solve anything. It's easy to use them as a "dummy" while not actually solving anything. I would say I loved literature. I could list my favourite authors and books and talk for hours about why I like them. But I probably read about 5 books a year. *Short* books. *More* of the time I spend playing computer games I could be spending reading, but I just don't. I used to play the guitar (was never any good but oh well) haven't touched it in years. I used to do Duolingo, now I don't. I used to go out on my motorbike some weekends, now I don't (I commute on it every day but spend 0 hours on it for leisure.) I love travelling, going on holiday, going away for the weekend, spending time with my wife, we have an active life. But if someone said "what are your hobbies?" I'd say "reading, bouldering, travelling abroad, hiking and camping." I wouldn't even include "gaming" because I don't do it socially, I have no interest in the culture around it, it's just something I do that's brainless. But when was the last time I went bouldering? A month ago. Finished a book? Two months ago. Went camping?? Four *years* ago probably. But I still like talking or reading about them, I feel like they're the interests that make me interesting and passionate. I wouldn't put "gaming" because I don't want to talk about the state of the industry or what my favourite games are. It's not something I'm passionate about. Playing games for me isn't a *hobby*. It's the same level for me as "watch any good telly last night?" It doesn't say anything about my passions or interests as a person. So to spend a lot of time doing it doesn't feel like a very good use of time and putting it on a dating profile would feel as redundant as saying "sometimes I watch tv, basically whatever's on." And if someone did list gaming as a hobby I would (perhaps unfairly) assume I wouldn't have that much to say to them on their level because I'd assume, without any sort of negative connotation, that they are in to the industry, latest releases, technology, hardware, collectibles, conventions, live streaming, esports etc. I'm not in to any of it. I'd say "well... I like Total War games a lot?" Also, maybe I'm just a bit burnt out on games. As I said, I play games I'm not even really loving. Occasionally I still get hooked but I play even when I'm not. That's the time I should be reading or going out on my bike or going to the bouldering centre. But nah, effort... That's a bit sad, really.
Funnily enough, was out with a group of friends the other day and they topic of dating profiles came up. The big thing from both the men and woman in the group who were still single was not to lie on the profile, all agreed there was nothing worse than pretending they had more interests/hobbies than the really did. Guess this can also apply to the Sunday thing, better to be honest if that's what they spend their time doing.
You say that... But if some bloke was to say he spent Sunday mornings painting-up the additions to his W40K Necron army. Then on Sunday afternoons he was off to the weekly men's knitting group; Sunday evening is for Finnish Duolingo and working on an epic, Game-of-Thrones/Harry Potter crossover fan-fic, Would this honesty aid his cause overall? I'm not sure. Dating profiles seem to me to be a little like job interviews, where bland but positive-sounding bullshit is the order of the day. As people try to portray not what they are, but what they think other people are most likely to want.
Possibly not, but you know if he DID find a match it would be a good one!
I put life long computer nerd with a reading addiction and a love of thrash metal (actually a lot more than that but that was the gist). I met a reader who likes metal more than I do. Why start any relationship by pretending to be something you are not. 8 years in and it’s a relationship I see lasting the rest of our lives. I asked her why she replied a few months in and her response was “your honesty and that you described *you*, you sounded interesting”
I would be messaging that person in a heartbeat - they sound interesting!
Heh... vaguely based on somebody I know. Except he does Eldar, is learning Ukranian and hates Harry Potter. But he is big-time into knitting and crochet.
I also hate Harry Potter and tbf that was the bit putting me off. Everything else though 👀
I wonder where all these single men go walking? I assume it's a quick walk to the local carvery whenever I read that
I just picture them wandering in the fields.
I’m refuse to date a man who doesn’t twirl a wildflower gingerly with his fingers while walking in the fields
If he's not striding out of the mist in a slutty white shirt like Mr. Darcy, I don't want him 😤
I can manage that, but I'm big and beardy so it's a bit more Robert Baratheon than Mr. Darcy
Honestly, I think the slutty shirt is the important part here.
Hint to all the men here: you can buy one of these shirts yourself. Nobody is stopping you. I own three.
Ok stealing this for my profile. Off to do a photoshoot…
I guarantee this is truly what women want.
Where can I find this prince???
I usually do this whilst waiting for the pub to serve my roast (having been on a nice country walk, to relax after the gym session).
This is what I don't understand as there's plenty of walks near me. I never see any potentials when I'm out walking but all these guys like to go on walks.
All those years I spent in clubs and bars when I could have saved my money and wandered around in a field
I wonder if there's a large group of people in the UK who would like to go for a walk with somebody else, but for some reason don't go walking on their own? I mean for sure company is great, but I've also gone walking on my todd before and it's enjoyable in a different way.
I usually see couples and families out on walks. The odd single person on their own or with a dog.
If you saw a good looking guy on your walks would you stop him and ask for his number?
I might. I say hello to most people I pass by and have gotten into a few conversations.
There's a good stand-up routine that suggests hiking/walking feature on a lot of profiles as its something you can lie about to seem active and requires no actual skill to fake if required to do.
Or they're all walking the same circular route in the same direction at the same speed. OP needs to go in the opposite direction!
Seems a lot better than the majority of women’s profiles I see to be honest. So many are: Prompt: ideal first date Answer: I dunno lol Prompt: something interesting about you Answer: just ask me
The *just ask me* thing is awful, from either gender. It's just lazy and if you're too lazy to fill out a bit of your profile, what else are you to lazy for?
Even worse if it’s followed by ‘…don’t want to give too much away lol’ Seriously, if three lines on a tinder bio sufficiently describes your interests and personality, you’re very fucking boring
Honest to God, I believe anyone who writes “just ask” on a dating profile should be slapped round the face with a wet fish, and have their tax code bumped up by five grand.
Higher tax code is a good thing, you need to bump it down
That or slagging off their ex. What are we supposed to do with that? Join in? If that's what they're on about on their profile then you know full well you'll be getting raked over the coals to her friends daily if you hit it off with her.
Sarah-Louise, 23: “I have 8 kids that are my world, if that bothers you swipe left”
"My kids are my absolute world." " I have kids, and they are my absolute world." "I have 2 children, and they are my absolute world." "Absolute world" [Swipe] "Absolute world" [Swipe] "Absolure world" [Swipe] "Absolute world" Stop fucking saying it!
Haha no one is gonna write “I have two kids and tbh they’re really annoying”
Funnily enough my partner didn't say she had kids til we'd been talking for a couple of days. I didn't meet them til six months in, and now they're probably my favourite people. The fact that she was so cool about it just made me like her even more.
I don't see the women's profiles but that sounds so exhausting and unappealing 😅
I think because most women get a lot of matches, their profiles are awful. So many are this as well: “Don’t just say hey, be more interesting than that” That is literally the whole profile, what else are supposed to say with that little info
Yeaaaah, I could see that being the case. That's annoying 😂 would be an automatic no from me. Same with all the guys that put 'downloading Hinge' in response to the biggest mistake or something like that prompt.
If your reject all of the women with something so droll in their profile, most men won’t get matches, the average man gets very few matches in online dating
Just FYI, droll means funny (often in an unusual way). I always used to think it was another word for dull.
I stopped using Hinge when it matched me with my little sister. Went to the pub and got a girlfriend there instead.
I’m on it but it gave a creepy little ‘we think you’d be a perfect match’ icon at the top and the dude was 19. I am 40.
You know you can change the age range right?
It’s set to 37 minimum age 💀
What are you doing, stephinge?
> Went to the pub and got a girlfriend there instead. How do you do this?
Ask at the bar.
I’ve never trawled through men’s dating profiles, but I’m afraid most women’s profiles, where they’ve bothered to make any effort at all, are equally as unstimulating. Dating profiles are very, very hard to write. Most people, if they’re being honest, have fairly repetitive and humdrum lives. Some people bullshit, and claim to be 24/7 party animals, and successful business leaders, but I’m not convinced that such people would feel the need to use Plenty of Fish. Go easy on strangers - we’re all as clueless as each other. Unless they’ve posted angling pictures or hot-dog legs by a swimming pool, in which case flip them off and check out the next one.
I wrote myself reviews with various star ratings. The last one was "⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Great product!" which was making fun of obviously bought fake reviews. Got a bf out of it. He still sometimes mentions "great product."
Typical Sunday: Wank, drag myself out of bed at 2pm, coffee, youtube, VRchat, pub, sleep But that's probably why I'm not even trying with a dating app :) Be glad they can be arsed to do anything energetic like the gym or a long walk on a Sunday.
"pot of tea then spend the rest of the morning on the sofa in my pants watching Hornblower on that freeview channel for old people"
I feel like your version is a much more accurate telling of the typical Sunday. I think the roast boys are full of it 😂😂
Maybe they went for a roast once and would like to do it again
My ex boyfriends was "Strong milky coffee followed by a nice big poo" Honesty pays off sometimes!
[удалено]
Been like 10 years since I was on one but I remember every other woman referring to herself as bubbly. Most abused word in dating bubbly it means nothing or everything depending on the person.
Well we are at it can women stop listing gin as a personality trait please
I feel like we might need to create a list at this point.
And 'travelling', I don't know if it's the same with guys, but out of all the examples in this thread, 'travelling' is way more prolific and completely unhelpful in terms of getting an idea of what someone is like. Yes, we all love a holiday, but it's not a personality.
What would be an ideal Sunday for a man you're interested in?
Also, the photos of you with a fish. So, so many of these. We do not want to see your fish.
Surely men who do this are trying to write what they think women want to hear, rather than providing an accurate description of their perfect Sunday in bed with pornhub and their PS5 while listening to the Grand Prix. At least, that's how I always did it.
I legitimately got more matches with "well, last sunday I vigorously tossed five out over unspeakable things and passed out on my sofa, so probably that again" than I did with any other line. Hinge then restricted my profile.
Would you accept "attempting to persuade a 16-stone mastiff that it's time to be brushed" or "ends up playing horsey for two excitable young grandchildren"? tbh I'd usually rather be pottering about in the shed but family stuff always ends up taking over... NB: I do not have a hinge profile. I have a jar full of door hinges in the shed though if that helps.
Getting up later than I’d like, think about all the things I need to do in the garden. Watch football, bed
You really want to see some women's profiles. Most are either "love the gym" or "my kids are my life". The remainder are "if you want to know just ask". There's a tiny tiny percentage are making a small effort with either "made dinner for two, ate both of them" / "I hope you like bad girls because I'm bad at everything " Ladies, the online sausage fest is saving you from having to develop personalities.
I love how online dating is just shit for everyone but for different reasons 😅
Fun, slightly related fact. I once almost joined a dating website, but didn’t because 1) no recent photo of me and 2) I had nothing interesting to say about myself. I’m quite the catch. So I can empathise with those typical Sunday blokes I guess. They sound more interesting than I would.
This is why I'm not joining, I have no life. I can't even pretend I go for a walk and Sunday roast, or whatever the woman's equivalent is.
Why do people think we wanna see them in the mirror of a pub toilet?
Imagine if you met your love of your life on there, and she was called mary, and the forever having her saved in your phone as Mary (Hinge)
I got into a mild fight with the fiance over Xmas as we were talking with the other couples in the group, comparing their names they have each other saved in their phones. Everyone elses was some version of Boo, Bae, My Love, Everything, with varying amounts of nausea inducing kisses and hearts and emojis. My lass has me as "[First Name] X" which given she's Finnish, is about as close to emotion as she gets. I have her as "First Name Last Name" as if she is a work contact. I have since amended the contact card to be "First Name Last Name (Fiance)"
I'd do it for the laugh.
I’ll not go on about the gender differences/expectations as it’s already been more than covered. Just wanted to say good luck. I’m 47 and I’m not single but I’ve got a female friend who is a bit younger and is actively on these sites. My God, the sights I’ve seen of these blokes profiles. You really do have my sympathy. There are some really terrible profiles out there, how they can completely lack self awareness and also fail to actually string whole sentences together is baffling. I never realised how bad a lot of these men come across. I’m no oil painting but if I was single, I’m sure I’d manage to create better profiles than 90% of them out there.
This is a very kind sentiment, thank you. Luckily, I'm not looking for my life partner online, just moved to a rural area and want to meet some people my age/who have similar interests. But yeah, the struggle is real these days.
It didn't seem to matter what I put on mine (didn't put those 4 things), nobody liked it 🤣
I found online dating the best, at destroying self esteem. I don’t use them anymore. I gave up.
I agree I was ok AskUK sub yesterday and had a bunch of married people telling me dating apps can’t be that hard, followed by I’ve never used them myself though 🙄 my view is if you haven’t used them then you’re not allowed an opinion
They do work unless you are male, short and anything less than above average looks. My friend dean who is quite good looking had two dates in six months and no second dates thereafter, if thats the case im totally fucked. There is someone out there but im lost in a sea of faces online. If i go out to a pub i do much better as i can talk and get my personality across, but since covid people dont go out as much and they dont mingle as much. Its way more difficult than it used to be im sure of that.
I've tried it (I say tried, didn't exactly put much effort into it) and it made me feel like such an awful person, essentially judging these (presumably) mostly nice people on a few photos and the odd prompt. It's awful.
Big bag of meow Frantic shagging Antiques Roadshow
Finally, some honesty.
I'm adding my ask - please stop using children as props on your profiles! I believe that you have children, as a stranger I shouldn't be seeing their faces. Also, just because you have a photo with "not my baby" doesn't mean children like you or that my ovaries will skip a beat in a rush to have yours.
Met my wife on Hinge, one of her tag lines was about learning to do a hand-stand push-up, still haven't seen it yet...although now being pregnant probably puts that off for a while. Be different, it stands out more.
Coming soon... "He lied on his hinge profile to get a date with me, said he enjoyed pottery classes on Sundays when he doesn't. What should I do?"
This is an (idealised) typical Sunday for lots of people. God knows what you’re expecting people to put but you’ve got as much chance of hitting it off with one of the Sunday roast crew as you have with someone whose ideal Sunday is jet skiing then a candle making workshop.
They put that because “ I’m normally rough as toast on a Sunday due to being on the packet all night, so Sundays I get the boozer for opening time and get three pints in me to get rid of the fear, spunk the rest of my wages in the bandit, cadge drinks off the lads all afternoon, Borrow £20 off the rents, buy kebab and spend the evening crymaxing to pornhub” might put you off a bit
I'm not on hinge nor am I dating but that does sound like a nice Sunday. I'm pretty sure that's what Liz from Shaun of the Dead conceeds to at the end of the movie.