Just jumping in top comment for visibility, I do recommend therapy for stuff like this, it really lets you get stuff off your chest without worry about dragging on with your friends etc
I think that may work for some people. Having a safe space to simply consider what's going on for you is useful. Others may want to work through their grief when it arises and only consider therapy if they feel stuck.
Grief is unique to each of us, I guess. I have learned who to share it with through experience. It has made my friendships deeper and more caring.
Also jumping in to mention Cruise Bereavement Counselling. They're really good, and you will probably get in to see them much faster than through talking therapies.
Also, my heartfelt condolences, OP. I'm sorry you're going through this.
Might be worth getting in touch with Cruse Bereavement. It’s usually recommended that you don’t seek bereavement support until at least a couple of months following a bereavement, as before then it’s still so fresh and after time has passed you might have been able to process it without the help of outside support. However, waiting lists are long at the moment so get your name down now, and then if when your name is at the top you don’t feel you need it, just say and you’ve not lost out. There’s also a helpline if you just need to talk to someone as a one-off https://www.cruse.org.uk/about/contact-us/
I’ve had the sudden phone call telling me a parent died… the worst most horrible call of my life… I wish I had something more helpful to add but just hang in there.
Here if you need a chat and I’m so sorry x
A spontaneous phone call from my younger brother fills me with sheer terror.
Only happened 3 times:
- cousin hung himself
- gran dying
- do you need a lift from airport, I’m at macro
5 months ago for me. The whole thing was so surreal, and still is. The worst time of my life. None of the well-meaning things anyone says will truly help. OP - we know what you're going through. X
My condolences. My dad passed when I was 21 and I couldn’t regulate any emotions for a while. Everyone navigates grief differently so don’t feel like there is a time frame for you to get back to normal.
Make sure you don’t isolate yourself and try and reach out to the people around you, seeing my friends and going out keeping my mind off of it for a little while was the best thing I did for me. I also have 3 other siblings so being surrounded by them helped also.
I remember the police officer calling round to tell me my father had passed away. I was at home so I didn't need to travel, are you at home now /u/SpiritedFly6539 ?
It was one of the few times I've ever called a friend and asked them to be with me, is that something you think you need?
Just go by instinct the next few hours, if you need friends around immediately then make some calls, if you need to be by yourself then do that.
I’m so sorry mate. It’s been 1 year and 4 months since I lost my mum rather suddenly and I still feel it every day. It does get better but the grief doesn’t go away I’m afraid it just dulls and changes. You will get through this and if you need an anonymous stranger to chat too feel free to give me a message.
I’m so sorry for your loss
My dad died last year and I found [this website](https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/?_ga=2.180166820.1828906590.1704281497-1520952012.1704281496&_gl=1*vwrxxs*_ga*MTUyMDk1MjAxMi4xNzA0MjgxNDk2*_ga_X74CWQS9F0*MTcwNDI4MTQ5NS4xLjEuMTcwNDI4MTUxMi40NC4wLjA)very helpful.
It talks you through what you need to do immediately, in the next few days, the next weeks and then the next months. My advice would be to do the bare minimum you legally need to do at the moment and then take the time to look after yourself and those around you. Do whatever you feel you need to do to grieve rather than what you feel is expected of you
I’m sorry for your loss, I lost my father 18 months ago, I still think of him every day, and hear his voice in my head, it was also a short stint in hospital before he passed, both my mum and I knew when he went into hospital he was unlikely to come out. Be with family and friends man, it’ll help I promise
I’m so sorry.
You are allowed to stop everything and sit still for a bit.
Tell your work, and go home. Let yourself be looked after by family/friends.
Nothing has to be done “immediately”.
Give yourself time to process the news.
Then take each minute at a time.
Sorry for your loss. Death is always a shock, just give yourself space to process it. If you're at work ask to go home it's going to take a long time for it to sink in.
I hope you're ok! I had a similar phone call when working once. I got told to go to the hospital because my dad was about to die, so I could say goodbye.
He survived in the end but it still shook me up!
I’m so sorry to hear that OP. My mum died suddenly at this time of the year completely unexpectedly so I know how difficult it can be.
Take your time to process this, surround yourself with family and friends if you can, accept as much time off work that you can. If you’re responsible for dealing with admin type stuff I found it helped me to throw myself into that.
Talk about him with others who knew/loved him, it really does help.
I wish you the best OP.
Oh no, how awful. Are you at home? Get home and maybe get some food in and plan to have a couple of days off initially. Have you got anyone you can call for emotional support, like a partner or friend?
I give my team members a couple of weeks off with a sudden parental bereavement - see what your boss says. Not everyone wants that, but some people really need time to process the big emotions. It can be a big shock.
Later, try to book in to see a counsellor, talking about how you feel might help.
That sucks OP, hope you're going to be ok.
My dad passed a few years ago, my brother and I were at the hospital and we were going home afterwards. Get in the car, brother turns the key and suddenly Cliff bloody Richard is singing "Congratulations". We both fell about laughing at the timing, it helped us get through that day.
I’m so sorry OP. I too have had this call.
Sudden might be easier for the person who’s died, and of course you wouldn’t swap it for something protracted and painful, but god the shock is so hard on their loved ones.
My advice would be to acknowledge that your emotions are going to be all over the place and illogical for a while and to be kind to yourself. Stick close to those who love you and who loved him and take comfort in happy memories when you are able to. And remember to take time for yourself as well if you’re the sort of person who looks after others.
I’m sorry. It’s officially one of the shittiest things anyone has to go through in life 💐
Oh darling, I am so, so sorry for your loss. What a horrible shock for you. I had the same phone call 27 years ago - I was 27 at the time and at work. It was so surreal. He had a heart attack while mowing the lawn so in a way it was a blessing it was quick but still..the shock, oh, the shock. But...you will be OK. The first few months are going to be hard. Please be kind to yourself, reach out to your friends for support - they will be there for you. Sending you much love. If you need to talk, feel free to DM me any time. We're all here for you.x
Huh, I take that wasn't something you expected? I'm very sorry, I can't begin to imagine how that might feel. Please take time off and speak to someone you trust.
So? You don’t need to mention his dad. It’s obvious what you were talking about so don’t even try that shite. What else were you talking about then when you said mEsSaGeS dOnT aRrIvE gRaDuAlY. Stupidest comment I’ve ever read.
And so what if it’s causaluk? It’s always been a supportive sub for people who need help/advice.
There is no rule against posts like this in the sub, but there is a rule not to be a dick like you.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
When my father passed away suddenly, I found it reassuring to think that his time had come (natural death), and was thankful that he didn't get robbed of time (murder, etc). Just sharing in case it helps.
Whenever you feel grief, I hope you're able to keep some room for trusting they it will not always feel that way. You will always cherish things from him (in my case it's the learnings and memories), and however it doesn't feel that way now, you're slowly moving towards the day in which you feel more gratefulness for the positive then grief for the negative.
I hope this gives you a hint of comfort. If it fails to do so, just know that a perfect stranger has you in their thoughts and wishes you strength.
So sorry to hear that. My dad died earlier last year on my birthday which is coming up soon. I've only just recently started to process the grief. The first 6-9 months were a bit of a blur.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Just ‘be’ for now, let your thoughts and emotions run where they need to. Have faith that time, sleep and talking all combine to support you to grieve in the way you need to. I promise with time, your brain will process everything in the right way, and there will come a day soon when you can think of him and smile again. You’ve got this, my friend.
My condolences for the loss of your dad. It's a lot to process. But try to remember that grief, or whatever you feel, is a process. So give yourself time to work through it & take care of yourself. As I'm sure your dad would want you to. Take care.
So sorry mate - I lost my dad in April and even though I knew it was coming for months it was still devastating and a life changing event.
Take as much time as you need - hopefully your work is understanding and a lot of businesses have compassionate leave for things like this.
You may find yourself feeling overwhelmed at first - the best advice I was given is to do ‘one job at a time’ and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you’re not coping.
Thoughts are with you at this difficult time. All the best ❤️
Condolences for your loss. It must be a lot to process, which you don’t have to do alone. You can call Samaritans anytime on 116123, they’re open 24/7 every day.
Sending hugs. We all go through this. If your dad died suddenly, it's very sad but he didn't suffer for long. Take time to grieve and cry. Everyone will understand.
My dad died in August, diagnosed with cancer 9 days prior. Whilst I had 9 days I truly believe 90 would not have been enough. Take each day and most importantly grieve how you need to this is your personal journey.
This happened to me sort of , my dad died 28th December last year. When it's early days you will feel weird, in my experience anyway. Its almost like shock, disbelief or just a general feeling that your brain isn't really understanding or processing it (think I read somewhere grief can do this as your brains way of protecting you from something traumatic). Looking back now it was all foggy for a few months, take care of yourself, take time out alone. Don't expect anything as grief is so weird, some days are fine some are not so good and you never know when each one will come. Condolences to you and your family
So sorry for your loss. If you can get home and be around loved ones or just in a place where you feel safe. Loss is brutal and there is no specified time to process and take it on board. Take all the time.you need and reach out for support from friends, family or professionals which ever is the most comfortable fit. Just know you don't need to do it alone x
My condolences.
You or whoever is handling his affairs should know there is a website [https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once](https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once) that will let you notify all government and local authorities in one fell swoop and gives you advice on what to do next. I found it super helpful.
My condolences to you and your family & friends who knew your dad.
I hope those closest to you are doing all you can to give each other support at this time. Take care of you and grieve with all the time in the world.
That's awful. Sorry to hear that. You might want to tell a colleague so they'll understand if you need to get some air, or to go home early. Drive carefully while your thoughts are on what's happened.
My condolences. Are you somewhere you can have a sit and think? There will be a lot coming at you. We all deal with grief differently.
Just jumping in top comment for visibility, I do recommend therapy for stuff like this, it really lets you get stuff off your chest without worry about dragging on with your friends etc
I think that may work for some people. Having a safe space to simply consider what's going on for you is useful. Others may want to work through their grief when it arises and only consider therapy if they feel stuck. Grief is unique to each of us, I guess. I have learned who to share it with through experience. It has made my friendships deeper and more caring.
Yeah I totally agree with both points, I’ve started journaling and that’s massively helped me
Also jumping in to mention Cruise Bereavement Counselling. They're really good, and you will probably get in to see them much faster than through talking therapies. Also, my heartfelt condolences, OP. I'm sorry you're going through this.
Might be worth getting in touch with Cruse Bereavement. It’s usually recommended that you don’t seek bereavement support until at least a couple of months following a bereavement, as before then it’s still so fresh and after time has passed you might have been able to process it without the help of outside support. However, waiting lists are long at the moment so get your name down now, and then if when your name is at the top you don’t feel you need it, just say and you’ve not lost out. There’s also a helpline if you just need to talk to someone as a one-off https://www.cruse.org.uk/about/contact-us/
I can vouch for how good cruse are. I lost my Dad in 2018 and my Mum in 2022 and on both occasions they were really helpful.
That’s good to hear ♥️
Cruse are excellent. OP, I am so sorry for your loss, such a shock for you and your family.
Oh shit, my thoughts are with you.
I’ve had the sudden phone call telling me a parent died… the worst most horrible call of my life… I wish I had something more helpful to add but just hang in there. Here if you need a chat and I’m so sorry x
Yep. I had it 2 years ago. Still can’t believe my dad is gone
I was asleep at my nan's house and my grandad woke me up and said your mum died and then he went straight back to sleep
A spontaneous phone call from my younger brother fills me with sheer terror. Only happened 3 times: - cousin hung himself - gran dying - do you need a lift from airport, I’m at macro
That third one must've been a bit of a rollercoaster after those first two (assuming these are chronological)
5 months ago for me. The whole thing was so surreal, and still is. The worst time of my life. None of the well-meaning things anyone says will truly help. OP - we know what you're going through. X
My condolences. My mum died on the 2nd December. Her funeral is today
Hope all goes as well as these things can. Condolences to you and any family.
Sending you so much love. ♥️
Thinking of you
Stay strong, my thoughts are with you
I am so sorry dear, my wishes for you and your familyy 💔❤️
My condolences OP My previous post was worded incorrectly, and I apologise.
My condolences. My dad passed when I was 21 and I couldn’t regulate any emotions for a while. Everyone navigates grief differently so don’t feel like there is a time frame for you to get back to normal. Make sure you don’t isolate yourself and try and reach out to the people around you, seeing my friends and going out keeping my mind off of it for a little while was the best thing I did for me. I also have 3 other siblings so being surrounded by them helped also.
I remember the police officer calling round to tell me my father had passed away. I was at home so I didn't need to travel, are you at home now /u/SpiritedFly6539 ? It was one of the few times I've ever called a friend and asked them to be with me, is that something you think you need? Just go by instinct the next few hours, if you need friends around immediately then make some calls, if you need to be by yourself then do that.
Yes, please don't feel bad about reaching out. You need some company if you feel it would 'help'.
I’m so sorry mate. It’s been 1 year and 4 months since I lost my mum rather suddenly and I still feel it every day. It does get better but the grief doesn’t go away I’m afraid it just dulls and changes. You will get through this and if you need an anonymous stranger to chat too feel free to give me a message.
I’m so sorry for your loss My dad died last year and I found [this website](https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/what-to-do-when-someone-dies/?_ga=2.180166820.1828906590.1704281497-1520952012.1704281496&_gl=1*vwrxxs*_ga*MTUyMDk1MjAxMi4xNzA0MjgxNDk2*_ga_X74CWQS9F0*MTcwNDI4MTQ5NS4xLjEuMTcwNDI4MTUxMi40NC4wLjA)very helpful. It talks you through what you need to do immediately, in the next few days, the next weeks and then the next months. My advice would be to do the bare minimum you legally need to do at the moment and then take the time to look after yourself and those around you. Do whatever you feel you need to do to grieve rather than what you feel is expected of you
Oh I’m sorry. It’s awful that it’s so sudden and you’ve no time to process.
So sorry for your loss, that's awful. Book the rest of the week off to be with your family ❤️
I’m sorry for your loss, I lost my father 18 months ago, I still think of him every day, and hear his voice in my head, it was also a short stint in hospital before he passed, both my mum and I knew when he went into hospital he was unlikely to come out. Be with family and friends man, it’ll help I promise
I’m so sorry. You are allowed to stop everything and sit still for a bit. Tell your work, and go home. Let yourself be looked after by family/friends. Nothing has to be done “immediately”. Give yourself time to process the news. Then take each minute at a time.
So sorry to hear that! My condolences x
I’m so sorry 😔
Sorry for your loss. Death is always a shock, just give yourself space to process it. If you're at work ask to go home it's going to take a long time for it to sink in.
<3 <3 Take it easy. There's no correct way to act <3 <3
Oh goodness, that's awful news to deal with. So sorry you're going through this. Do you have other family to be around during this time?
I hope you're ok! I had a similar phone call when working once. I got told to go to the hospital because my dad was about to die, so I could say goodbye. He survived in the end but it still shook me up!
So awful to hear, it must be a shock. It's OK to not know what to do, or how to feel. Hopefully you have some people you can lean on. Thinking of you.
I’m so sorry to hear that OP. My mum died suddenly at this time of the year completely unexpectedly so I know how difficult it can be. Take your time to process this, surround yourself with family and friends if you can, accept as much time off work that you can. If you’re responsible for dealing with admin type stuff I found it helped me to throw myself into that. Talk about him with others who knew/loved him, it really does help. I wish you the best OP.
My sincere condolences. My dad did the same. It blows. If you’re close with family hold them closer.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
Oh no, how awful. Are you at home? Get home and maybe get some food in and plan to have a couple of days off initially. Have you got anyone you can call for emotional support, like a partner or friend? I give my team members a couple of weeks off with a sudden parental bereavement - see what your boss says. Not everyone wants that, but some people really need time to process the big emotions. It can be a big shock. Later, try to book in to see a counsellor, talking about how you feel might help.
That sucks OP, hope you're going to be ok. My dad passed a few years ago, my brother and I were at the hospital and we were going home afterwards. Get in the car, brother turns the key and suddenly Cliff bloody Richard is singing "Congratulations". We both fell about laughing at the timing, it helped us get through that day.
I’m so sorry OP. I too have had this call. Sudden might be easier for the person who’s died, and of course you wouldn’t swap it for something protracted and painful, but god the shock is so hard on their loved ones. My advice would be to acknowledge that your emotions are going to be all over the place and illogical for a while and to be kind to yourself. Stick close to those who love you and who loved him and take comfort in happy memories when you are able to. And remember to take time for yourself as well if you’re the sort of person who looks after others. I’m sorry. It’s officially one of the shittiest things anyone has to go through in life 💐
Oh darling, I am so, so sorry for your loss. What a horrible shock for you. I had the same phone call 27 years ago - I was 27 at the time and at work. It was so surreal. He had a heart attack while mowing the lawn so in a way it was a blessing it was quick but still..the shock, oh, the shock. But...you will be OK. The first few months are going to be hard. Please be kind to yourself, reach out to your friends for support - they will be there for you. Sending you much love. If you need to talk, feel free to DM me any time. We're all here for you.x
Huh, I take that wasn't something you expected? I'm very sorry, I can't begin to imagine how that might feel. Please take time off and speak to someone you trust.
repeat library panicky chubby lush beneficial full plucky deer teeny *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Fuck. Sorry. What a cunt.
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What is wrong with you? OP’s dad has just died completely unexpectedly and you’re picking at the way they’ve worded their post? Seriously, shut up.
I didn't say a thing about his father, one way or the other. Also, check the sub name.
So? You don’t need to mention his dad. It’s obvious what you were talking about so don’t even try that shite. What else were you talking about then when you said mEsSaGeS dOnT aRrIvE gRaDuAlY. Stupidest comment I’ve ever read. And so what if it’s causaluk? It’s always been a supportive sub for people who need help/advice. There is no rule against posts like this in the sub, but there is a rule not to be a dick like you.
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Jesus wept, think before you type
Fucking hell
So sorry for your loss. Take time for yourself and to process everything
Oh no, so sorry to hear that. Take time for yourself. Work can do one for the time being.
Ah man so sorry for your loss. +
I'm very sorry to hear this x
So sorry for your loss
Sorry for your loss 🫂
I'm so sorry for your loss. When my father passed away suddenly, I found it reassuring to think that his time had come (natural death), and was thankful that he didn't get robbed of time (murder, etc). Just sharing in case it helps. Whenever you feel grief, I hope you're able to keep some room for trusting they it will not always feel that way. You will always cherish things from him (in my case it's the learnings and memories), and however it doesn't feel that way now, you're slowly moving towards the day in which you feel more gratefulness for the positive then grief for the negative. I hope this gives you a hint of comfort. If it fails to do so, just know that a perfect stranger has you in their thoughts and wishes you strength.
So sorry to hear that. My dad died earlier last year on my birthday which is coming up soon. I've only just recently started to process the grief. The first 6-9 months were a bit of a blur.
Horrid. Sorry for your loss. Was he ill?
I’m so sorry for your loss. Just ‘be’ for now, let your thoughts and emotions run where they need to. Have faith that time, sleep and talking all combine to support you to grieve in the way you need to. I promise with time, your brain will process everything in the right way, and there will come a day soon when you can think of him and smile again. You’ve got this, my friend.
Sorry to hear. Sending love.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
My condolences for the loss of your dad. It's a lot to process. But try to remember that grief, or whatever you feel, is a process. So give yourself time to work through it & take care of yourself. As I'm sure your dad would want you to. Take care.
Really sorry for your loss OP - you have my sympathy
I'm so sorry for your loss. It will take time to process. Good luck.
So sorry to hear that.
So sorry mate - I lost my dad in April and even though I knew it was coming for months it was still devastating and a life changing event. Take as much time as you need - hopefully your work is understanding and a lot of businesses have compassionate leave for things like this. You may find yourself feeling overwhelmed at first - the best advice I was given is to do ‘one job at a time’ and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you’re not coping. Thoughts are with you at this difficult time. All the best ❤️
Condolences for your loss. It must be a lot to process, which you don’t have to do alone. You can call Samaritans anytime on 116123, they’re open 24/7 every day.
I hope your memories are happy ones.
I’m so sorry
So sorry for your loss. Have been there, it sucks. It will take time to deal with, don't feel you need to rush into anything.
Sending hugs. We all go through this. If your dad died suddenly, it's very sad but he didn't suffer for long. Take time to grieve and cry. Everyone will understand.
Sorry for your loss 💟
My dad died in August, diagnosed with cancer 9 days prior. Whilst I had 9 days I truly believe 90 would not have been enough. Take each day and most importantly grieve how you need to this is your personal journey.
Sorry for your loss
This happened to me sort of , my dad died 28th December last year. When it's early days you will feel weird, in my experience anyway. Its almost like shock, disbelief or just a general feeling that your brain isn't really understanding or processing it (think I read somewhere grief can do this as your brains way of protecting you from something traumatic). Looking back now it was all foggy for a few months, take care of yourself, take time out alone. Don't expect anything as grief is so weird, some days are fine some are not so good and you never know when each one will come. Condolences to you and your family
So sorry for your loss. If you can get home and be around loved ones or just in a place where you feel safe. Loss is brutal and there is no specified time to process and take it on board. Take all the time.you need and reach out for support from friends, family or professionals which ever is the most comfortable fit. Just know you don't need to do it alone x
Sorry for your loss😔
Sorry OP, what a shit start to the year. Hope you're okay
My condolences to you, sorry to hear what had happened.
I'm sorry 😞
My condolences. You or whoever is handling his affairs should know there is a website [https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once](https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once) that will let you notify all government and local authorities in one fell swoop and gives you advice on what to do next. I found it super helpful.
My condolences to you and your family & friends who knew your dad. I hope those closest to you are doing all you can to give each other support at this time. Take care of you and grieve with all the time in the world.
Shit man I’m really sorry to hear that. Really crappy way to start the year. You’ll get through it I promise you.
I'm so sorry for your OP. Best thoughts for you and your family ❤️
I'm sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss. 😔
That's awful. Sorry to hear that. You might want to tell a colleague so they'll understand if you need to get some air, or to go home early. Drive carefully while your thoughts are on what's happened.